John's Really Bad Days
by DaemonicKitten
Summary: This is inspired by 'Rodney's Really Bad Days' by Debbie418uk2. John always gets into trouble, and it's up to his team to save him. Listed as John and Rodney because in some cases, Rodney is majorly involved, too.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : If I owned Atlantis, the boys would spend a LOT more time shirtless or in nothing but towels, Elizabeth would NOT have been taken out, and neither would Carson. Since none of that/all of that has happened, I quite obviously do not own Atlantis or it's characters.

**Note** : This was inspired by **Debbie418uk2**'s 'Rodney's Really Bad Days'. I loved the imaginative plots of each chapter and how he not only got into the messes, but his friends always managed to get him out of them. Wonderful work, really!

Also, I can't do scottish accents to save my life, so I'm not really going to try. I don't know what ones will have Carson and what chapters will have Keller. I'm also not usually well known for one-shots, so the chapters might vary in length. Oh and I don't have many done. I don't know if these are coming out alright, so I'm just going to post the few I have, one at a time, and see if readers think I should continue or what.

**Summary** : This fic was inspired by **Debbie418uk2**'s 'Rodney's Really Bad Days'. It's basically a series of one-shots of, well, the title explains it all. John is always getting into trouble, and it's up to his team to save him.

**Legend** :

"Talking"

_Thoughts_

**(Scene/POV changes)**

**Pairings** : I'm not sure yet, but since each one-shot will likely be more or less unrelated to another, there could be hints of any number of pairings. If any chapter includes a pairing, I will put it at the head of the chapter.

**Rating** : 'T' for language and situations.

**Warnings** : Will contain foul language, possibly some adult situations, and graphic scenes (though for the rating, not _too_ graphic).

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**(Conversion 2)**

"I don't know."

"Oh come on. It's gotta do something."

Leaning against a wall, John sighed as he watched Rodney mess with yet another piece of alien technology. The good part about all this, was that you never knew what these machines could do, and they could seriously benefit Atlantis.

"This could take a while, Colonel." Rodney stated raising an eyebrow at John before returning to his work.

The _bad_ side was that Rodney could take forever in figuring it out.

"I don't get why you're poking at the machine." He pointed out as Rodney held up yet another scanner-type instrument and hovered over the ancient console. "I mean, wouldn't it work better to actually, oh, I dunno..." Walking over, he gestured to the screen and buttons. "Try pressing something?"

"I would expect you to say something like that." He answered dryly, almost glaring at John. "And no, I could end up switching on some sort of self-destruct, or big Wraith 'here I am, come get me' signal, or something."

John couldn't help the small smirk at Rodney's 'Wraith signal' comment before sighing. "Fine, fine. Just hurry up."

As Rodney began scanning all over again, mumbling about _this_ one taking a while, John took a close look at the console. There was a single square screen in the center, surrounded by all kinds of multi-colored buttons. With all the movies he'd seen, touching the big, prominent, red one seemed like a bad idea, but then again, pressing the big green one didn't seem any better.

Still, he felt like he was going to go insane if he didn't do something, so when Rodney had his back turned, John took a close look at the panel and began pressing a few buttons. He was certain it couldn't be as bad as Rodney was making it out to be.

_Ok, so this is disappointing._ He thought with a raised eyebrow when not even a 'beep' issued forth. "I think this machine's dead."

"No, no, no. It's far from dead. One of my scans showed it's still active." Rodney slowly turned around, his eyes glued to the screen of the scanner he held. "It's like it's-it's in a standby mode or something."

"Well it's not doing anything." John prompted, gesturing to the machine while eyeing the two buttons he didn't press. The red one and the green one. _On earth, red means stop or bad. So green would be good, right? _Then again, they were on an alien planet, and in an alien city.

"Why would it? We haven't-Sheppard!" Now Rodney looked up. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Removing his hand from the big red button, John carefully looked around, as if expecting everything and nothing at the same time. Again, nothing seemed to happen and he sighed loudly before giving Rodney a pointed look. "See? Dead."

Suddenly, a loud buzz was heard. The machine lit up like a christmas tree and began humming loudly as a series of beeps sounded.

"What did you do?! Damn it John, you just have to touch everything!" Rodney ran over and began rapidly typing stuff on the panel, but nothing seemed to stop the machine.

Then a beam of light erupted from an opening in the wall, and hit John in the chest, knocking him across the room with a pained, startled yelp, and into the wall. Once that had been accomplished, the machine seemed to shut off, leaving John lying unconscious on the ground, and Rodney standing shocked at it all.

It took him a moment, but Rodney finally jumped into action and ran over to the prone colonel. Touching a hand to the side of his neck, the scientist frowned deeply. "Colonel? Sheppard! Damnit!" Finding a faint pulse, he reached up and quickly pressed the button on the comm in his ear. "This is McKay, I need a medical team, stat!"

**(Some Time Later, John's POV)**

"Ok, that was _not_ fun!" Groaning quietly, I struggled a moment to open my eyes. It took me a few tries, I don't think I've ever been this tired, but I managed to get them open a bit.

Only to slam them shut again.

"Ah, bright!" Another groan, and I slowly lifted my arm to cover my eyes. The feeling of a small pull in the back of my hand, and the sudden knowledge that there was a steady beeping at my right side made me frown deeply. "Where am I?" It smelled kind of...well...sanitary, or of some kind of cleanser, and it hit me.

"Col. Sheppard?"

Opening my eyes again, I struggled to get used to the light as a blurry figure approached the bed I was laying on. Dressed in the standard medical uniform, Carson stood at my bedside.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a hive ship." I muttered as I scrubbed my eyes and tried again. There, that was better. Things were still a little blurry, but at least I could take the light, even if it was giving me a headache. "What happened? I remember..." Squinting, I tried to think. "I was pressing some buttons on one of the machines we found in the new lab."

Carson's face morphed into one that stated 'I should have known'. "Really, Colonel. You know better."

"Yeah, yeah." It felt a little weird, how he was scolding me like a child. "So how am I doing, doc?"

Now he shrugged with a small smile and patted my shoulder. "You'll be fine. I'm running the blood work now, but I think you're alright to go back to your room." His look turned stern. "And that's what I want you to do, John. You need rest, and I don't want you wandering around until I know more about what happened."

So much for feeling reassured. "Got it, doc." I mumbled, already feeling like I was going to pass out again. Damn it, I shouldn't be this tired, should I? Not to mention, as I tried to sit up, my legs felt stiffer, like I hadn't moved them in ages. "How long have I been out?" I asked, feeling incredibly stiff all over, and frowning as Carson removed the IV.

"Only about four hours." He paused a moment and looked at me closely, frowning. "Colonel, is everything alright?"

Staring down at my arms, I tried to figure out why I felt so weird. Five fingers, I wiggled my feet, even though I couldn't see my toes through my socks. Five toes, I hoped. Two arms, two legs, everything _seemed _in order.

"John?"

"Huh? Oh, right." Looking to Carson, I nodded. "I'm good, just tired."

He nodded reluctantly, and I realized he was borderline ordering me to stay in the infirmary. Not really wanting to make this my new home, I quickly jumped off the bed as he removed the last of the sensors, and grabbed my clothing. "Where's Rodney? And the others?"

"Rodney went back to the machine, to try and find out if there'd be any side effects from the beam that hit you, Ronon went with him. Teyla is filling Dr. Weir in, at the moment."

"'K." With a final nod, and a promise to stay in my room, I made my way out of the infirmary after changing in one of the bathrooms. Stopping in the hallway, I leaned against the wall a moment when a wave of dizziness hit me, and felt my face screw up as this sudden blast of salt hit my sense of smell. Again I frowned, looking around. It might have been late, I didn't see anyone else in the hall. With a shake of my head, the smell and dizziness faded away, and I blamed it on being tired.

Making my way back to my room, I almost sighed in relief as the door slid open, then shut behind me. Looking around, I decided it was too hot to be bundled in my military uniform, and pulled off my jacket. "Someone turn up the heat?" I swiped my hand over the panel, and again when the lights came on, they were blindingly bright. Crying out, I swiped my hand over it again and waited a moment before opening my eyes carefully. "What the hell?!"

_Ok, so lights equals bad, right now. Got it._ Luckily, I knew my room well enough not to need the lights as I stripped off the rest of my clothing, leaving it on the floor, which was unusual for me. We never knew if spot security checks would be needed, or for some reason or another, people would end up in our rooms, so I'd taken to keeping my room fairly spotless, just in case. Either way, I found myself not bothering to care as I stripped down to my boxers and flopped into bed.

I didn't know how long I lay there. I was exhausted, but I couldn't fall asleep. It felt like hours before I even tried to move, and I found my body once again feeling stiff, only this time it was worse than before, and seemed concentrated in my legs. Whenever I tried to move one, I felt the other moving, as well, but I was just _so tired..._

Finally, I managed to get comfortable, despite my now being cold. Pulling a blanket over me, I finally drifted off into sleep.

**(With the other's, Normal POV)**

Elizabeth stood in the briefing room, pacing uncomfortably as the others all seemed to be trying to pass the time. "So you think the machine is some sort of...matter re-configuration machine?"

Rodney nodded quietly as he typed away on his datapad. "Yes, yes. It took a while, but I found it in the ancient database. It's some sort of experimental machine for, well...re-configuring organic masses. Only they mentioned something about never making it to human trials. The rest is garbled, I can't make much sense of it."

"Re-what?" Ronon was leaning against the wall.

"Re-configuration." Elizabeth stated, turning to him as she halted her pacing. "It's like a fancy term of saying 'changing' one thing into another."

"You think Sheppard's gonna change?" he asked with a frown, his hand sliding across his hip to his blaster. "Change into what?"

"I don't know, I don't know." Rodney looked up, almost exasperated. "And I don't know. Look, he wouldn't be in this mess if he'd left it up to me, but he couldn't wait. I'm still tying to figure out what kind of damage it might have done to him, and if it's reversable."

"Dr. Beckett to Dr. Weir."

Everyone looked up as the message was relayed along a public channel of their comm systems.

Tapping her ear piece, Elizabeth nodded. "This is Dr. Weir. What news do you have?"

"Not good, I'm afraid. I need you in the infirmary, immediately."

Nodding to the others, she turned and swipped a hand over the wall panel, opening up the door. "Got it, we're on our way." Heading through almost at a jog, she could hear the others behind her, and prayed it was nothing too serious.

Luckily, with the use of the transporters, the trip didn't take long to get to the infirmary, where Carson was waiting with a grim expression.

"What is going on?" Teyla asked, speaking up as she looked around. "And where is the Colonel?"

"I've sent him back to his room to rest." With a sigh, Carson scrubbed his face before gesturing to a screen behind him. "Which I now believe may have been a mistake." On the screen showed a male humanoid body, and a strange green substance that had pooled in the chest, where John had been hit with the beam.

"That scan was taken when he first arrived, six hours ago. There was a mix up. I thought I had his scans before, ones that looked normal; they were labeled as his, but one of the nurses just informed me, _this_ is his real scan." Hitting a button, it changed to show the green substance moving along his arms and legs. "This was taken four hours ago, before he even woke up." He hit another button, showing thicker strains of the green substance. "This was taken two hours ago. It seems, whatever this stuff is, it's multiplying in his body, and overriding his DNA cells." Looking to the others, Carson frowned. "Sheppard is changing. I don't know what into, but he hasn't a lot of time left."

"You don't think it's another version of the same enzyme that almost changed him into a human iratus bug...?"

He shook his head. "No, his blood work came in, it shows signs of this same substance, but it's not like the enzyme. There are faint similarities, but I've never seen anything like this."

Turning to Rodney, Elizabeth looked horribly grim. "Alright, I need you to go figure out how to reverse whatever this machine did."

"And fast." Carson looked at Rodney as well. "It's only a rough estimate, but I believe he's got less than 24 hours before his transformation is complete." With a nod, Rodney turned and took off. Ronon was about to take off after him, but Elizabeth's voice made him stop cold.

"Ronon. I need you and Teyla to go check on John. See what condition he's in, and if you can get him back to the infirmary." With a curt nod, the last two members of Sheppard's team took off, this time in the general direction of his quarters.

**(With Ronon and Teyla)**

When they got to Sheppard's quarters, Ronon wanted to bust the door down, but Teyla, with an eyebrow raised, pressed her hand to the chime, to see if he was awake. When they received no answer, Ronon was about to pull his blaster out, to shoot open the door, when Teyla swipped her hand over the panel and the door slid open.

"That's strange." the Satedan muttered as he held his blaster at the ready.

Teyla silently agreed, and the two of them walked quietly into his room. The first thing they noticed was that his clothes were everywhere, which was unusual. They had both been in his room for movie nights before, and they never noticed one article of clothing out in the open, besides the sweater here and there.

"Sheppard?"

There was no response, and the two of them moved closer to the bed. All at once, Ronon crinkled his nose and took a step back. "Ugh, what's that smell?!" It was like a sickly sweet smell.

Gathering her courage, Teyla swiftly walked up to the bed and pulled back the covers, gasping in horror at the sight that lay there. Tapping her ear quickly, she frowned. "Carson, this is Teyla. Col. Sheppard has begun changing, we will be unable to bring him to the infirmary."

There was silence for a moment. "Aye, can you tell me what he's changing into?"

Looking down at the bed, she took a good look in the darkness of the room. "Hold on, I need to turn the lights on to see better. Ronon, can you-"

He'd already crossed the room and swiped his hand over the panel, turning on the lights.

Immediately, John began screaming in agony, his voice sounding much higher pitched than it should have, and he began to thrash around on the bed. Wincing, Teyla covered her ears as Ronon turned the lights back off with a grimace, watching as John's eyes opened and glared at them with an eery violet glow to them.

"Ronon? Teyla! What happened?!" This time it was Elizabeth's voice.

"The Colonel had a bad reaction to the light." Teyla mused out loud. "Still, I believe I can describe... He is covered with a strange slime, it is a milky white color. His legs seem to have fused together into a..." Pausing a moment, she got a good look at him as the said, former legs slithered across the bed spread. "Tail, I believe. His eyes are glowing purple, and his skin seems to have changed to a green tone of some kind."

"He looks like a big bug." Ronon put in helpfully, giving Teyla an innocent look when she raised an eyebrow at him.

**(With Rodney, some time later)**

"Alright. I think we've figured it out." Sighing in exhaustion, Rodney looked at Zalenka. "I need you to get working on these calibrations, while I go fill the others in. Think you can do that, Zelema?"

"Zalenka."

"Hm? Oh, right, right." Grabbing his things, Rodney seemed very much distracted and obviously was not paying attention. "Zelama. I shouldn't be gone long."

As Rodney practically raced out of the room, Zalenka began cursing to himself in czech.

As Rodney ran to the infirmary, he prayed he wasn't too late, and running through the opening doors, he almost sighed in relief to see everyone in one place. "Ok, I think we got it! The machine's-ohmygod!"

There, in the center of the dimmed room, lay Sheppard. At least, Rodney _thought_ it was Sheppard. His body had almost completely changed, his legs gone, replaced by a slithering tail, and his arms melded to his body, though the arm shape and fingers were still identifiable. He also had wings. Big, green, webbed wings. His face was fairly intact, but for the eyes that had turned completely violet, and the skin which had turned to an odd, milky light green color. It was also shiny, and as if oily, his hair was gone.

"Rodney." Elizabeth's voice was stern. "What have you got?"

Sheppard's eyes were locked on his, or at least, they seemed to be. It was difficult to tell with how they now looked. Swallowing heavily, Rodney forced his eyes away. "We're ready." He felt a little bad for saying it so surely, but right at this moment, he was positive they didn't need 'maybe's and 'but's.

Besides, he was fairly certain it _was_ ready.

**(Later)**

Everyone was once again gathered in the infirmary, after John had been taken to the room and hit with another blast. The change was remarkably quick, and as soon as he had his wits, and the ability to speak, John ordered Rodney in no uncertain terms to destroy the machine.

"I don't remember much, but I do remember feeling like I slept a week. My whole body was stiff, and my eyes were really sensitive."

"You were changing." Teyla stated quietly.

Raising an eyebrow, John stared at her a moment. "Do I even wanna ask?"

"You were changing into a bug." This time it was Ronon, who didn't seem to notice the grimace on Teyla's face, or how Rodney silently excused himself from the room. He didn't even seem to notice the horrified look on John's face. "Only this time it was different from before. You had a big slug-like tail, like that movie you showed me, Slither? And big wings, and your skin was-"

"OK!" Holding up his hands with a slightly green tint to his face, though this one was normal, he glared at Ronon. "I really don't need to know any more. Thanks."

"You sure? You had this-"

"RONON!"

Grinning a little, Ronon got off the bed he was sitting on and patted John's shoulder. "Good to have you back, buddy."

As he and Teyla left, John rolled his eyes before taking a good look at his arms and legs. Wincing a little, he vowed to personally see to it that machine was _completely_ destroyed, as soon as Carson let him leave the infirmary.

"I _hate_ bugs!"

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Ok, this one was...incredibly long. Sorry about that. I also switched POV's at one point, to see how it turned out. I'm not used to fics like this, but I hope you liked it.

I'll make a note now, I'm thinking of doing quite a few on John's Kirkiness, and how it always turns out bad (at least in my fictions)... Hopefully, this story will work. :)

I had these chapters done before 'Elizabeth's Thoughts', but changed her name once I was corrected about the proper spelling. Please Read and Review. I love your comments and any ideas you might have, and I used constructive critisism to help improve my writing.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	2. Colonel Kirk

**Debbie418uk2** - A great big THANK YOU for pointing out the spelling errors. I don't know where I keep finding these spellings, but it looks like all but Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla are coming out wrong. O.o. At least I was alerted early on, so I can change them. :) Thank you. :) Oh trust me, I have some of John getting hit by beams due to his carelessnes, his gene, getting hurt because he's a Kirk, and more. I might even include one or two add ons, like chapters related to actual episodes. ;)

**LCShepp** - I sincerely hope you do like it. :) Thank you for the vote of confidence. I'm working on more chapters as we speak.

I usually update once a week, so if you don't hear from me for a little while, expect an update soon. I have to chapter 5 written, so far. Hope you enjoy this. :)

Hm, well, I wrote out a few plot ideas to help me along, and it's getting a _little_ easier to do these, so I have no idea how long this story will be.

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**(Off World, Normal POV)**

"So, uh… An entire planet full of cities with nothing but…women?" Sheppard's eyes were wide, and there was a trademark sparkle in them. "Really, now?"

Staring at him with his own, somewhat subdued excitement, Rodney raised an eyebrow and he made a face. "Oh boy, I see the Kirk gene is kicking in." Turning to Ronon, he shook his head.

"Rodney, don't start." Glaring at him a little, Sheppard sighed and turned back to the forest around them. "You and your 'Kirk-gene'. You're seeing things."

"Yes, that's why that one Ancient woman...or was it two...? And then-"

"Nothing happened!" Spinning on Rodney, Sheppard lowered his P90. "And if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were jealous."

Stopping cold, Rodney's face turned red as his jaw dropped. "I am _so_ not jealous! What would I have to be jealous about?? You? Why would I be jealous of you?!"

"He didn't say you were jealous of _him_." Ronon put in gruffly with a raised eyebrow and a slight grin. "And just because he gets all the girls-"

"Oh he does not!"

"Perhaps this is not the appropriate place to have this conversation." Teyla jumped in before Rodney could really get going. "I believe we are near the village."

As if on cue, three women dropped out of the trees and ran towards them. They resembled amazons, wearing leather clothing and all, but instead of the average spears and bows, they held hand guns, all aimed at the group.

"Drop 'em!"

One was a brunette with long hair, who seemed to be the leader of the trio. One was a blonde with shoulder length blone hair, who's face could have easily been seen as playful, if it wasn't for the severe glare, and gun in their faces. The last of the trio was a woman with silver and brown streaked, short, shaggy hair, and her face simply said it all. Do as your told, or you'll regret it.

"Whoa! Hey, we're here on an, uh... Mission of peace." John slowly lowered his weapon, as did the others. "We're explorers from another world, just looking to make-"

"Silence!" Moving with a speed that surprised him, the silver and brown haired girl came forward and smacked him on the side of the head with her gun, hard.

The hit was harder than he'd expected, and through the blast of pain that hit him, he felt himself being hit on the upper back with enough force to throw him to the ground. He didn't stand a chance. As he went down, John vaguely heard what sounded like a fight, and then there was nothing.

**(A little bit later, Village)**

Waking up to a massive pain in his skull, John looked around and was only half surprised to find himself in a large building with no windows, one door, and very obviously, a guard on that door. Not that the guard was in the room with him, but the door was made of what looked like bamboo, and it was partially see through, showing a feminine figure on the other side.

_Hm..._ He allowed himself a moment to get a good look at her. _Nice._ Then he scowled at himself and rolled his eyes.

It looked like he was the only one in the room. There were no signs of any of the others, not any of their stuff, or them, themselves. The room was small, seemingly built for only one person, and had one small cot, and a plate against the far wall with water in a bottle.

Getting up slowly, John winced at a fresh explosion of pain in the back of his head, and sat back down, quickly as the room spun. "Ow!" He gingerly felt around his head and found a large bump where he'd been hit. "That wasn't nice."

The sound of wood hitting wood caught his attention, and he looked up as the brunette from earlier came into the room. The very _pretty_ brunette from earlier.

He almost didn't even realize it when he smiled at her.

"I see you're awake." Her look seemed calm enough, but there was something about her pose that instantly put John on his guard. "Good, you can answer my questions then."

His smile faded, as did pretty much all of his plans to hopefully talk things out with her. "Oh, I don't think so." Rising slowly, he tried to ignore the throbbing in his head. "Not until I get some answers first."

She frowned deeply, and a warning look appeared in her eyes.

Still he ignored it. "We came here on a mission of peace, and you attacked us. Why? And where are my friends?"

With her frown growing deeper, she carefully sauntered up to him, her hips swaying in the dangerously slit mini skirt, as she went. Once the front of her body was pressed against his own, she reached up with a lightning speed and backhanded him, sending him spinning and sprawling across the cot again, striking his head against the wall. "You do _not_ question me!"

He couldn't say anything. His head was spinning, and he could taste blood in the back of his mouth. Laying on the bed, groaning, he tried to open his eyes, but everything was a blur and he promptly shut them again as he struggled to stay conscious.

"Answer my questions and I _may_ let you leave." Her tone was lower, but no less threatening. "Who are you?"

Blinking again, John looked up at her. She was maybe a tiny bit shorter than him, and slender, but boy, was she was strong! There was no sympathy in her eyes, either, as she stared down at him.

When no answer came, she almost growled, reached down and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Do you dare defy me?!"

The grip served to make him realize just how vulnerable he was. It was obvious he was searched, thoroughly, and he very likely had no weapons on him. Hell, even his _watch_ and _wrist band_ were gone! What did they think he could do with those??

Spinning in place, she slammed him up against the wall, getting a surprised and pained grunt out of him before swiftly kicking him in the stomach and watching as he collapsed to the ground, gasping for air. "Who. Are. You?! I will _not_ ask again! If you refuse to answer, you _will_ be executed!"

_Oh, I really don't like the sound of that._ John tried to open his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a choked wheeze.

Sneering down at him, she sighed loudly and placed her hands on her hips. "_Pathetic._ Fine." Turning, she stalked out of the room, telling the guard to keep an eye on him as his execution was set up.

Either he passed out without even realizing it, and was out a very long time, or the people on this world set up alarmingly fast executions. Either way, when John came back to the present, he ached all over, and could barely breathe or stand. As the guards ordered him to move, he tried, but was apparently too slow, because they kicked him and dragged him out of the room.

At one point, he was certain he heard something break, and a fresh wave of pain came over him, stealing the breath from his body.

"This, is one of the tresspassers we found recently." The voice was that of the woman who demanded information from him, and she was speaking loudly as he was led up to a wooden platform. "He refused to answer my questions, and thus, he is fated to execution."

There was still no sign of the others, which gave John a little hope. Knowing them, if they were free, they were out there getting ready to get _him_ free. _Come on guys, where are you?_ He choked on a pained gasp as the guard savagely grabbed his arms and tied them behind his back. Everything was hazy, and he felt nauseous. His vision began to swim as the heat from the sun beat down on him, and he felt like he hadn't had a drink in ages.

"Stand, prisoner!" the guard hissed as his legs once again gave out.

John tried to tell her he couldn't, but nothing came out of his mouth. He could taste the blood that seeped from the corner of his mouth, trailing down his face, and he felt the sting of sweat in his eyes as a rope was tied around his neck. He could also feel that one of his eyes had been swollen shut, possibly from the earlier backhand. There was no strength in him to fight or argue, it was a struggle just to remain conscious and understand everything that was happening.

Suddenly, there was the sound of gunfire, and he tried to raise his head. Instead, his legs chose that moment to give out. The rope was already tightened around his neck, and as he fell, his air was cut off completely. _Oh crap!_ Gasping and choking, it seemed the last of his strength kicked in. He struggled to get his feet under him, so he could breathe, but they kept slipping out. It was getting harder to do anything, it was getting darker, too.

Then, the platform gave way under his feet, and there was no chance. With nothing for his feet to gain purchase to, he choked, feeling more blood bubble up his throat as he struggled to breathe.

"John!"

Had someone called his name, or was he imagining it? It all sounded so far away.

"Hang on, Sheppard!"

The sound of a blast, and the feeling of falling. The pressure on his throat being somewhat released and precious air flowing back into his lungs. There was a slight pressure on the side of his neck before he felt hands on his body, and the last thing he heard before giving in to the darkness was, "Oh, thank god! He's alive!"

**(Infirmary)**

"Ok, OW!" Hissing in pain, John's hands gripped the sheets of the infirmary bed as one of the nurses bandaged his ribs. "That hurts!"

"I'm sorry Colonel, but it has to be done."

The nurse was pretty. She had brunette hair, tied back in a tight braid, and a cute little figure, which was highlighted in the uniform she wore. Giving her a twice over, John raised an eyebrow appreciatively, and grinned when she looked at him, all too aware of his staring, and blushed.

"Wow, I knew you were stubborn, but this is ridiculous!" Rodney walked into the room, looking incredulous as the nurse quickly finished bandaging his ribs and almost ran out of the room. "Give it a rest already."

"I wasn't doing anything, McKay." John protested as he carefully laid back on the bed.

"No, and I'm sure you didn't do anything before, either. When those amazons attacked? What did you say to the leader, to get yourself amost hung?"

"'Almost', Rodney? I'd say I _was_ hung!" Glaring at him briefly, John massaged his sore throat slightly, trying to ignore the swelling and light bandages there, too. "And I didn't do anything there, either. In case you forgot, we didn't have a chance to do anything before we were separated, and I didn't have a chance to do anything but ask why they'd attacked us, and that only got me attacked again!"

_And they broke three of my ribs, and I had a nasty concussion, and a bruised lung, and pretty swollen throat from the rope..._

"Sure. Oh I'm sure." Shaking his head Rodney stared at me a moment before turning away. "Colonel _Kirk_."

"What?" As Rodney walked away, John grinned a little. "Whatever you say, _Meredith_." Of course, that last part was said under his breath. Turning to Teyla and Ronon as they entered the room, he raised an eyebrow as something hit him. "What happened with you guys, anyways?"

"They managed to stun Ronon, Rodney and myself, but thanks to the Deadalous in orbit, we were beamed out safely before the interrogation began." Teyla put in softly as she approached the bed. "They reported that they'd lost contact with us, and read the signature of weapons fire. They could not simply beam you out because your transmitter had been hit, disabling it."

Ronon nodded, remaining quiet as ever.

"Carson needed to put a new one in, during your rest. When we found you about to be executed, we managed to stun several of the women, and since we had come with backup, the rest scattered to safety."

"Teyla slipped one of the Deadalous' transmitters on you and we got outta there." Ronon finally added with a nod.

"Oh." Wow, that certainly explained a lot. "Ok. Thanks."

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Hope you like it.

The amazon thing came from an idea from one of the chapters to 'Rodney's Really Bad Days', and I wanted to do something similar, but different.

Wow chapter 2 and I'm already having problems. Multichapter fics, are no problem. One-shots that are usually not related to each other, much harder. O.o Hm, so far I've made it to chapter 5, and I have a list of ideas to help me, so let's see how it goes...

I made a little alter to this chapter due to a comment from **Debbie418uk2** about skipping some information. I hope this helps, I made it up as I went. :)

R+R please.

Thank you

Tenshi


	3. Children

**Debbie418uk2** - Oh, good point. Sorry, I did think that in some cases, the chapters were moving a bit too quick. Hm... Ok, I'll see what I can do in future situations for sure. LOL Oh I can be mean, I just won't kill off the character, and I'll usually make things alright in the end. ;) LOL

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**(Off world, John's POV)**

We'd been making trade negotiations with the locals of P7X-559, when they'd been attacked by some sort of wild...uh, inhabitants? Well, they were like our versions of cavemen, with the same IQ, too. In the end, we helped them out, and now we were apparently going to be rewarded with not only a new ally, but meeting some pretty cute princess', too.

"Now you get to meet our little sister." Came one of the women.

Frowning for a moment, I looked at the others. Suddenly, I was having a very strange sense of deja vu.

We were on a planet, in an actually pretty cool castle made up with Ancient technology, meeting three princesses and were about to meet their youngest sister, whom people rarely got to see, for some reason I think I missed. The castle was surrounded by ruins and forest, and the girls were dressed similarly to any princess you can imagine.

One of the three girls walked off only to come back a few moments later with a young girl of about 15. She had long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and was tall and slightly skinny, as if she hadn't begun to fill out yet.

That's when it hit me why this seemed so familiar, and I took a quick step back. "Oh.. Ok, um, are we going to have to escort her through the woods on an errand of some sort?"

Both women seemed surprised and confused, but Rodney's eyes went wide with realization and he seemed to be struggling not to laugh.

"No, we do not allow her out just yet. When she is ready, she will be able to take care of herself." One of the elder sisters smiled. "Why do you ask?"

I felt a little embarrassed to have jumped to conclusions and shrugged. "I had a bad experience with a child princess in the past."

All of the elder sisters' eye narrowed in confusion and sudden suspicion at that, and the one holding the shoulders of the younger sister suddenly pulled her back. "And what was the name of this child princess?"

Why did I suddenly have a very bad feeling about this? "Uh, Harmony, I think."

Now the eldest, a blonde woman, stepped forward and snapped her fingers. Gone was her friendly expression and in it's place was a much more hostile one. "You! I should have recognized you! You are the one whom left Queen Harmony defenceless to the monster! Coward!" Backing away, she called the guards. "Guards!"

"Whoa! Wait! I'm not a coward!" I shouted as several armed guards came rushing into the room. "It didn't happen like that!" I took a step closer to the princess', my hands raised in what was meant as a harmless gesture, and immediately heard the firing of one of the guards' guns. A white hot pain ripped through my side, and I couldn't help the pained shout I gave, as I felt my legs collapse.

"Wait! Stop!" I heard others shouting, but everything was becoming dim very fast. "Please, you don't understand!"

Was that McKay? Well he should have some weight to pull, he was considered the 'brave knight'!

Then I heard sever blasts of a different type, and watched through blurry eyes as Rodney and the others dropped to the ground, one by one.

_Oh, crap._ I thought as I finally gave in to the darkness.

**(Normal POV)**

When Rodney came to, the first thing he noticed was John, bleeding. Badly. There was a small puddle at his side, where his wound had not been bandaged, and the first thing he did was to rush over, a little slowly because of the rush in his head, and put pressure on the wound, pulling out a field dressing to try and staunch the bleeding.

Already, John's body was cooler than it should have been, and his face was incredibly pale.

"Oh boy, not good." Turning to the others, Rodney worked to get them woken up, surmising they'd all been hit by stunners, and filled them in the best he could on the situation, which was not looking good.

"We must get John back to Atlantis as fast as possible." Teyla stated gravely, from where she had posted herself, at his side. "He continues to lose blood, and his pulse is beginning to get weak."

"Yes, yes. I know. But short of walking through walls, there's nothing we can do." Rodney stated grimly. Then, he began to quickly snap his fingers as his eyes lit up. "Wait, they're allies with Prin-I mean, Queen Harmony, right?"

Teyla nodded. "So it would seem."

Ronon was checking the single, barred window, and the single, barred door, quietly, but spoke up at this. "Why's it matter? We need to get Sheppard back to Atlantis, not worry about allies."

"No, no. You don't get it." Getting up, Rodney stumbled to the door and began to pound loudly. "Hey! Hello! Is anyone out there?!"

A moment later, and a guard came to the door, bellowing at Rodney to keep quiet, but Rodney being Rodney, he seemed not to hear him.

"Listen, I need to speak to the princess'." Seeing the guard shaking his head, he sighed in annoyance. "You don't understand, I was the, um..." Part of him wished he had a chance to rub it in, but for now he pressed on. "I was the 'hero' in the picture, remember? Me, protecting the little Queen from danger. Yes, that was me."

Now the guard's eyes widened and he opened the door, grabbing Rodney by the jacket and forcing him out of the door and down the hallway. No one could tell if it was because he'd said something wrong, or said something right.

"McKay!"

"Rodney!"

It was too late. No one had any way of knowing if his idea was going to work, but they sat back, trying in vain to stop the flow of blood from John's wound as he continuously got weaker and weaker.

There was no real way of telling how long Rodney had been gone, but after a while, the sound of the door unlocking caught Teyla and Ronon's attention. The door opened and Rodney, along with Carson and a few marines, came rushing in. The princess' stood by the door, looking surprisingly horrified as Carson injected something into John's body and the marines set up a quick stretcher.

"I've stabilized him, but he's lost too much blood. We need to get him back to Atlantis, a.s.a.p." Getting up, he rushed back out the door with the marines, leaving behind appropriately surprised and confused Teyla and Ronon.

**(Later, in the Infirmary)**

"It looks like the bullet pierced his kidney, and I had to operate." Carson was filling everyone in. Turning to Rodney, he raised an eyebrow before checking John's vitals one more time. "Just how did ye get them to let you call me, anyhow?"

Blushing a little, Rodney shot John a smirk. "Well, I reminded them who I was. Which is to say, the hero in Harmony's picture. Once they remembered, it was simple enough to, um..." Now he had the sense to look a little more sober. "Explain the real situation. I put in a good word for John, telling them that on our world, he would be considered the hero."

John's eyes were wide and he looked at the IV in his arms before turning to Carson. "Doc, just what the _hell_ did you put in this stuff?"

Teyla grinned as Rodney looked a little put out, and Ronon shook his head before clapping Rodney on the back.

"We are proud of you, Rodney." Teyla stated with a warm smile as she walked over and bowed her head.

After hesitating a moment, he lowered his forehead against hers. "Uh, um, thank you?"

"Yeah, Rodney." John still stared suspiciously at the IV in his arm, but glanced at Rodney and mustered a small smile. "Thanks."

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Hope you like it.

If you're a John fan, check out 'Elizabeth's Thoughts' which deals with her thoughts on him, and interactions.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	4. Water World

**Godsdaughter77** - Glad you like it. :)

**Debbie418uk2** - Rodney's not really the hero, often. And in a sense, it's kind of weird, but I end up making him be at least part of the reason John ends up in trouble, and vice versa. Hmmmm... I have a feeling a few of these will have cute outcomes, despite the 'injuries'.

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**(Atlantis, Jumper, Normal POV)**

"What's the readout saying?"

Shaking his head, Rodney frowned. "Not much. It looks like the strange energy signal just-just vanished." He was almost glaring at the console. "You've got to be kidding me! This... This can't be right!"

"Well, which is it?" Staring around, John set the jumper to hover and moved to the back, rustling through a pack for an MRE. "You dragged me out here at inhuman hours, without even letting me have breakfast, and there's nothing out here?!" Sitting on the bench, he unwrapped the MRE and set in with a grimace. "Oh great, meat pie."

"It's not like-really?" Turning in his head, Rodney got up. "Meat pie? What kind of meat pie? Because if it's turkey, I know I don't have a chance, but if it's chicken, or hey! Even beef will do..."

John raised an eyebrow at Rodney and seemed to hesitate a moment. "Don't you have scans to be doing?"

Rodney scowled. "Yes, yes, it's just... I work better on a full stomach?"

There was a ridiculous sense of hope there and John sighed loudly before reaching into the pack and grabbing another MRE, tossing it to Rodney. "It's chicken."

He'd managed to eat maybe a third of it before the jumper suddenly shook violently and there was a loud blast. Getting knocked off the bench, John's head struck the opposite one before he came to a stop, and he laid there a moment, trying to get his vision to stop spinning.

Not to mention, the burst of pain practically shut his mind right down.

"Damn it! What the hell?!" Rodney was shouting. "John! We're under attack!"

Shaking his head, John stayed sprawled against the bench, trying to get up the strength to standup. Under attack, that was bad. That was very, very bad.

_"John!"_

Blinking, he slowly managed to stand up, trying to ignore the thudding in his head, and the spinning of the jumper. "Wha...?" Staggering to the front of the jumper, John had almost made it back to his seat, cursing Rodney and his early wake up calls, and strange energy readings that led to unexpected attacks, when there was another blast and he was sent careening again.

Unfortunately, this time his arms flailed, trying to keep him steady. He felt one of them bump against something that compressed under his hand, and heard something electronic moving. Next thing he knew, he was being pulled backwards by an impossibly strong force, and felt weightless as he plunged out of the back of the jumper.

Everything was confusing and distant, and the throbbing in his head didn't make it any easier, but with an icy, painful start, everything suddenly came back into focus. Too sharp a focus.

John tried to scream. He as in agony, and the cold sent a shockwave effect through his whole body. It took him a second to realize the only thing happening was a whole lot of bubbles were escaping out of his mouth.

_Since when could I breathe bubbles? No, I'm not..._ Nothing made sense. Shaking his head, he realized he was underwater and struggled to swim up. There was only one problem, he didn't know which way was up. _Not good, what way to go?_ The pain was fading from his head, but along with it, the feeling was fading from his arms and legs and a new pain was starting up in his chest.

Giving up on thinking about it, John chose the easiest direction and swam in it, recalling that the water had a natural buoyancy that would help him reach the surface.

It seemed to take forever.

Finally spotting something above...or as it below?...him, John swam towards it and eventually broke the surface of the water. By now his lungs were burning, and it hurt to breathe. His head was stinging from the hit, and probably the new addition of salt on the wound. Not only that, his legs were completely numb, and his arms weren't that far behind them. His vision swam out, and John found himself sinking again, and struggled to get back to the surface.

It hit him then, that the floating object had been his tack vest, which must have come off when he fell out of the jumper.

_My fault for not doing it up._

Not like he expected to go for a swim... However, he slipped it on and zipped it up, using the buoyancy to keep him afloat as he laid on his back, struggling to make sense of everything that happened.

_I hit my head._

Which still throbbed and his vision was still threatening to give out.

_I hit...something that... My arm, I must have hit the button to open the hatch of the jumper with my arm. Then I fell out because of the decompression._

Suddenly John felt his eyes widen and he looked around wildly. "Rodney?!" There was no other object or person on the surface of the water, so he changed his glance to the sky. "McKay!!" Feeling at his ear with numb fingers, John found a sticky spot and pulled his hand away to find blood stuck to it. Washing it off in the water, he winced as he put his hand back to his head, the fresh salt getting in the cut.

_Damn! Lost my ear piece!_

There was a buzz, and John looked up. There was the jumper. It was hovering right over him, but the hatch was closed. That made John frown to himself as he managed to lift a hand and wave, trying to ignore the dizziness that picked up at the slightest movement.

"Rodney! Hey, get down here!" he called. _I can't exactly fly, you know!_ Wincing, John closed his eyes and let his hand drop, choking a little as it splashed up water in his face. Slowly opening his eyes, he was a little worried when they almost refused to open. _Come on, gotta keep it together._

He didn't know how long he floated there. Trying everything he could think of, to keep moving, keep floating and stay awake, John was getting increasingly alarmed that the jumper was only hovering there, and his body was getting colder by the second.

_I need to...close my eyes... Only for a...second..._ He let his stinging eyes slide shut, and welcomed the darkness that came over him, only to gasp and choke as the now seemingly warm water rose up over his face. _Damn! No!_

Moving his arms, John frowned as he struggled to get the pockets of his tack vest open, dropping anything he was able to discard, to lighten himself. Luckily, he hadn't been wearing his P90, and his hand gun was extremely light. He ended up dropping his sunglasses, field dressings, some of his extra ammunition, some power bars... Anything he could afford to lose. Well, ok, so he couldn't _afford_ to lose the ammunition, but right now, trapped in the ocean, what was he going to do? Use the distant waves as target practice for the hell of it?

Eventually, though, there was nothing else he could do. Glancing up, the jumper was still there, and John got worried that something had seriously happened to Rodney. It wouldn't still be hovering there, he was sure, if Rodney was alright. But then again, with his head throbbing, his shivering from the cold and his numb body, he just couldn't bring himself to focus for any length of time, to see if there was movement at all.

In a strange way, it was almost comforting to know that at least he wasn't alone out here. As long as McKay was alright, of course.

Before he knew what was happening, John felt his eyes closing, and gave in to the blissful peace of sleep.

**(Later, John's POV)**

Everything hurt. That's all I could think of at the moment. My body hurt, worse than it usually did after a training session with Ronon. My head hurt worse than any hangover I've ever had. It hurt to breath, I felt things stuck to my head and arms, and I felt sick to my stomach.

"...Awake soon, I hope..."

Voices began to fade in and out, but it was hard to make sense of what was going on.

"I...leave him..."

Frowning a little, I managed to get my eyes open and barely recognized the hiss of pain that came from my overly dry throat. Closing them again, I made to move my arm but felt a pull I recognized as an IV in my arm, and a steady beeping reached my ears, telling me I was hooked up to a heart rate monitor.

"Colonel?"

"John? Are you awake?"

Opening my eyes again, I blinked and relaxed a little as I felt the burning pains in my body fading away. It hit me Carson must have put something in my IV to take it all away, but at that moment, I wanted to bless the man.

"Oh, god! Thank you god! I was worried you'd never wake up!" Rodney seemed unusually worried about me, and I felt myself frown. "I called Atlantis, and I kept waiting for help to come, but they were taking so damn long! I-I couldn't do anything! I didn't know how to fly the ship well enough to try landing it to get you, and I kept calling you, but you weren't answering, and I saw the blood on the bench..."

"...W...Why?" Geez, was that _my_ voice? It sounded like it hadn't been used in ages! "What hap-" I ended up in a coughing fit, and I probably would have been in agony, if it wasn't for the nice drugged haze I was entering.

"You nearly drowned, Colonel." Teyla put in with a small worried smile. "We found you unconscious, in the water. Rodney was holding you up."

Closing my eyes a moment, I sought out the memory of Rodney being there with me, but nothing came to mind.

"He was in the jumper." Teyla continued, as if sensing my confusion. "He stayed there with you, not wanting to leave you alone. He was unable to get you out of the water. He remained to keep you company and keep us informed of your condition."

"And what's my...condition?" I asked, feeling awkwardly touched about Rodney's bravery.

Carson spoke up at this. "You gave us all a scare. You had a serious concussion and severe hypothermia. If Rodney hadn't jumped in when you sank under the water, you would have drowned, too."

Blinking a moment, I stared at Rodney, feeling very uncomfortable. Ok, so he saved my life, I just wasn't sure how to... "Uh, Thanks... Rodney..." Usually we were at odds, so it was a surprise to hear how brave he'd been.

Rodney, I now realized, was in a blanket. His lips were tinted blue and he shivered a little before nodding, looking unusually subdued. "Just don't pull a stunt like that again." His eyes hardened a moment and he shook his head. "Only you, Colonel, would manage to 'accidentally' open the hatch and get blown out it." He was making a face to show he had a hard time believing I managed to pull that off, while at the same time, being all too able to see it happening.

Shaking my head a little, I rolled my eyes and relaxed. In all honesty, I didn't see it coming, but it sounded ridiculously clumsy to me, too.

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Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you

Tenshi


	5. Body Swap

**Debbie418uk2** did a chapter on a body swap with Rodney and Jeanie, which was a chapter I had asked her to do. As a result of her fabulous work, I was inspired to do a chapter of my own, but I didn't want to make it exactly the same (feels like I'm stealing or copying the ideas then), so I tried to make it different.

I was made aware that my note, before, made it seem like she may have stolen the idea, and I do apologize for that. I have this habit, I tend to mis-state what I am trying to say, and people get the wrong idea. It's been happening for years, despite my trying to keep an eye out on it.

I am very happy she did a chapter for me, I do appreciate it (Thank you, thank you, thank you!). This note was to try and state that it inspired the idea for this chapter, and that I hope she didn't think _I_ was stealing the idea, after she did it.

Also thanks for mentioning about the CPR, I don't know a lot of what I'm talking about, in many occasions, so I'm just winging it. LOL

I'm currently not at home, and on a bad connection (Won't be home and able to respond to PMs until Sunday evening), so I won't be able to put up my review reply in this chapter, but I wanted to update as promised.

Just added note, I can update on this computer, but I cannot have more than one internet page open at a time, so I cannot reply easily to PMs.

Hope you like it.

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**(Atlantis lab, John's POV)**

"And have you figured out what this one does?" I asked, pointing to a small machine with two platforms. I knew he hadn't, really, I was just asking because I knew he'd get annoyed.

It's fun annoying McKay.

Turning to me from one of the platforms, where he was scanning some machinery, Rodney scowled and raised an eyebrow. "No, I didn't. That's why I'm running preliminary scans, to figure that out." Shaking his head, he pointed to the other platform and sighed. "Just... Just do me a favor and start scanning that platform, ok? You _can_ do that, right?"

Now it was my turn to frown, but I nodded quietly, grabbing the other scanner and walking over to the platform. Climbing the steps, I sighed as I raised the scanner. There were all kinds of energy readings. I didn't understand most of them. All I recognized was...

_Oh crap._

"Rodney?"

"Not now, Colonel."

"Uh, Rodney. I think you-"

"I said, not now."

"Damn it, McKay! The machine's activating!" I yelled as the lights shone brightly and a buzzing filled the air.

Looking up, his jaw dropped in surprise and he turned to glare at me. "What the hell did you do?!"

"ME?! You're the one who wanted me to scan this thing!" I shouted back incredulously. "You're the one whose been tinkering with it, what did _you_ do?!"

"And you're the one with the mutant gene that's always activating everything! Did you touch something?!"

Raising an eyebrow, I pointedly looked down to the platform I was standing on, the raising in the buzzing the machine was making, not catching my attention at all. "Nah, Rodney, I'm just hovering here, not touching a thing." I glared at him. "What the hell do you think?!"

He opened his mouth to say something, when there was a bright flash of light. I felt really dizzy, and as I moved to cover my eyes, there was a bolt of electricity. Suddenly, it felt like I was floating and falling all in one, and I must have closed my eyes, because when I opened them again, I was staring up at the blue lit ceiling of the platform. _What the hell?!_ Opening my mouth, I wanted to repeat that verbally, but nothing came out. I did notice, though, that my body felt strange. Heavier than I was used to, and warmer. Not to mention, I was starving! _Huh, funny. I wasn't hungry a moment ago._

Sitting up slowly, I became aware of a groan next to me, on the other platform, that is, and I blinked to get my vision to clear. I suddenly felt very, _very_ hungry, and kind of weak, too. And again, my body felt like lead. Looking up, I saw our equipment on the ground and frowned. _Wasn't that to my left, earlier?_ It was to my right now. _Or was that my right, and it's my left side, now?_ Shaking my head, I raised a hand to it and paused when my hand touched my scalp. _That's not right._

Where I should have felt thick, spiky hair, I felt softer, thinner hair that started farther back on my head. Finally, I heard the other person speak up and felt my eyes widen as my stomach plummeted.

"What the HELL?!"

Slowly turning my head, I was dreading what I was going to see, I found myself facing horrified and shocked green eyes, and black hair, looking back at me. I was facing a very familiar face. _My_ face. "I'll second that." I stated as I slowly looked down. Yep, slightly chubbier body, thicker hands, and usual scientist's uniform.

"Oh this is _not_ good." I heard Rodney mumble with my voice.

**(Briefing room)**

"Ok, so we're here." Elizabeth put in calmly, though one eyebrow was raised. She gestured to Carson, Teyla and Ronon, who were all sitting in chairs around the table. "What's so important, Colonel, that we had to have this meeting?" She was looking at me, or, rather, my body, but didn't realize she was talking to Rodney.

"Uh, Elizabeth?" I raised my hand a little, catching her attention before Rodney could launch into a bunch of accusations. "I'm over here."

Looking at me with a frown, she tilted her head a moment. "I'm aware you're there, Rodney. Hello." She stated patiently.

Shaking my head, I sighed and winced as a dizzy spell hit me. "Wow." I turned to Rodney. "When you said all that stuff about getting weak when you don't eat... You weren't kidding."

"Oh, yes, thank you for that Colonel. It means so much that you believe me _now_." he put in sarcastically, placing his hands on his hips and rolling his eyes. "I called the meeting Elizabeth, because we've had a problem with that machine we were investigating." He paused a moment. "That is to say, Colonel Clumsy over here touched something and set it off, some how switching our bodies, or...minds...or something." He added, pointing to me.

"Rodney. You told me to scan it. I _scanned_ it. I didn't touch the machine, but in order to scan it right, I did have to stand on the platform." Giving him a sideways glance, I decided that posture really didn't suit my body. "So if anyone's to blame, it's you. You told me to do it."

"Wait. So let me get this straight. The machine you were investigating activated, and switched your bodies?" Elizabeth looked understandably confused.

"Well, no. Technically, it switched our minds, or something. I'm not sure why that would be a good thing, though, or what the ancients were..." Trailing off, he shook his head. "My point is, I'm gonna need some more time to check the machine out, before finding a way to turn us back."

She nodded with a frown. "Alright, I'm going to put Zalenka on it. I want the two of you in the infirmary."

"No, but... I'd be able to work faster than Zalenka. I should be the one to do it." I really didn't like the whiney tone Rodney had put in my voice, either.

"Regardless, I want-Rod-" Elizabeth shook her head. "_John_, is something wrong?"

I suddenly felt very dizzy and felt my body swaying. Distantly, I heard Carson asking about when the last time Rodney ate was, and an answer I wasn't able to make out. Finally, I couldn't take anymore. My legs just gave away beneath me, and I felt myself falling. I was still conscious, but I couldn't hear anything, and it was like my eyes weren't working. I couldn't understand.

What was going on??

**(Infirmary, Normal POV)**

"What happened Carson?"

"I'm just getting the lab results back, now. It looks like not only is Ro-I mean, Colonel Sheppard suffering from lack of nourishment, I've given him something for that, by the way, but there's a spike in his CAT scan. I've run more tests, and..." He looked over as a young nurse brought over some papers. She smiled at Rodney, who forgot he was in Sheppard's body, and he gave her a weird look in return. "Ah, yes, it looks like there's some... Colonel Sheppard's brain scan is a lot higher than it should be."

"Maybe it's a malfunction in the machine." Rodney frowned.

"Are you feeling any ill side effects?"

Pausing for a moment, Rodney rubbed his temple. "Now that you mention it, I do have a headache."

Nodding, Carson handed the papers back to Rodney as John slowly began to wake up. "Alright. I want you here for observation. I'll have Radek bring you your computer tablet, so you can work, since I know you won't rest without it, but I want you to remain in bed at all times."

"Oh, mannnnn." Rodney raised an eyebrow at John as the Colonel slowly opened his eyes. "What hit me?"

"Hunger, some kind of malfunction in the machine, and getting yourself worked up." Carson put in. "How are ya feeling?"

"Like something hit me." He put in with a frown. Seeing a lovely young nurse checking his readings, he smiled at her, only to get a polite and non-flirtatious smile back in return. He frowned and made a face as she turned and left. "Let me guess, I'm still in Rodney's body." He sighed loudly. "This is _no _fun!"

"Thank you. And being in your body's a huge picnic for me."

"It should be. You're in _my_ body, Rodney." Raising an eyebrow, John offered an evil little grin before wincing. "What's this about a malfunction, anyways?"

"Apparently, your mind isn't as...integrated into my brain as it should be. An...incomplete sequence, if you will." Rodney supplied, rubbing the bridge of his nose with two long fingers. Sitting on one of the beds, he frowned and ran a hand through the thick hair on his face, looking a little disturbed. "This might be fun, if I didn't feel about ready to keel over, and wasn't freaked out about the whole being in someone else's body. Oh, god!" His eyes widened dramatically. "You didn't have any citrus recently, did you?"

"Rodney." Carson handed him the computer tablet Zalenka had given him. "You're in the Colonel's body. You can ingest citrus if you like and it won't hurt you."

"Oh." Wide eyes, Rodney looked all too intrigued by this.

"Don't get any ideas." John warned, wincing a little as he remained laying in the bed. With a deep frown, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Colonel, are you alright?"

Opening his eyes slowly, John nodded. "Just tired." He mumbled almost sleepily before closing his eyes again.

Checking the equipment hooked up to him, Carson frowned. "Blood pressure's a little low. Heart rate is slightly accelerated." Turning to Rodney, he frowned in worry. "Is it possible, because you didn't eat and your body is weaker, that this could increase the effects the Colonel is feeling?" Pausing for a moment, he quickly ordered new tests to be done and called Zalenka to tell him to hurry.

"Carson?" Rodney's eyes narrowed as he watched the doctor take some more blood samples from John. "What's going on?"

"I believe he's feeling weak as a combination of things, but mainly, he's suffering from accelerated effects of this machine." Looking up, Carson's eyes were all professional, but filled with concern. "He's dying, Rodney."

Elizabeth gasped as she just entered the room to that last statement, followed by Ronon and Teyla, who exchanged worried looks.

Some time later, Carson was running tests on Rodney in John's body, as John in Rodney's was resting. Elizabeth and the others had gone, and Rodney was about at the end of his chain.

"This is ridiculous. I'm fine, Carson." Frowning, Rodney rubbed his arms, trying to get used to the feel of thinner, more muscular arms. He was laying on one of the beds in the infirmary, and glaring at Carson who was wandering around, talking to several nurses. He got another smile, and being slightly more used to this, by now, he smiled back. "Really. I need to get ouf of here and work on the machine."

"Rodney, I'm afraid you're not going anywhere." Turning to him, the scot walked over and sighed. "Your scans are showing elevated readings, too. You're affected. It'll only be a matter of time-"

"Yes! Exactly! Time!" Pointing, he gestured over to John. "Time he doesn't have! I need to get my work done, before I'm as bad as him!" Getting up, he was suddenly hit with a dizzy spell and swayed on the spot, only kept from falling over when Carson grabbed his arm.

"Lad, I'm afraid you're not gonna be leaving. Not in your condition. Radek's called, he's making progress, and he's keeping you updated via your computer."

"Sit down Rodney." John mumbled, his eyes still closed. His words were filled with exhaustion, and he sighed loudly as he slowly forced his eyes open. "Why..." He paused and looked around through Rodney's eyes before closing them again. "I'm tired."

He must have passed out, but suddenly the machines we was attached to, began to beep loudly. Carson called several nurses, and ran over, checking his stats. "He's crashing! Bag him!"" A nurse quickly placed a bag and mask over John's face, and Carson began chest compressions, keeping count quietly and keeping it up as the nurse pumped steady air into John's lungs.

Rodney could only stare in shock as Carson worked on John for several minutes. Seeing _his_ body there, dying... The pale face, the sweat covered skin, the way it shook with the force Carson used on his chest... It was really eery. The fact that it was John _in_ his body...

"We got him! Get him on a ventilator, stat!" Checking his status, Carson frowned. He drew back a single eye lid and peered at the eye underneath with his pen light. With a sigh, he shook his head and turned to Rodney. "He's fallen into a coma, lad."

**(Unknown Lab)**

It must have been a good two hours since John Sheppard had fallen into a coma in Rodney's body. In that time, Rodney had lost the feeling in his legs, and was getting steadily weaker. Now it was up to Zalenka to fix the machine, and surprisingly, he'd managed to figure it out.

He thought.

Shaking his head, Zalenka glared at the almost incapacitated Rodney and sighed. "I am telling you, this might not work. We have not had time to test it."

"And we don't have time to waste." Rodney put back from the wheel chair he was sitting in. Unfortunately, despite being in the Colonel's body, the effect was lessened due to the weakness of his voice. "The Colonel's fallen into a coma, and I'm not doing much better."

Elizabeth stood by the doorway, next to the stretcher with the comatose Colonel Sheppard, a worried Teyla and a growing increasingly irritated Ronon. "Radek, did you finish the repairs?"

He paused and looked at the machines. "I do believe so. They will need to stand on the same platforms as they were when they got hit the first time, but in theory, it should work." He pulled off his glasses. "In _theory_."

"Well theory is going to have to do." Hissed Rodney, struggling slowly to stand up, and only succeeding with Teyla's help. "We don't have time to waste, finding test subjects." With her help, he guided her to the platform he'd been standing on when they switched in the first place.

Ronon carefully lifted John in Rodney's body as Carson quickly divested him of the IV and air bag he was using to keep him breathing. "McKay, when this is all over, remind me to schedule you in for some physical training." He grunted as he quickly carried John to the platform and carefully laid him down. Backing away, he watched as nothing needed to be pressed.

The machine, as if sensing them both there, lit up and began to hum. A bright light flashed, blinding everyone temporarily, and a moment later, Colonel Sheppard groaned.

"Wha...?"

Carson rushed forward, kneeling next to Rodney and placing the air mask over his face before checking for a pulse. "He's alive!" He called, pulling the mask away after a moment. "Rodney, can ya hear me?"

"Doc?" John sat up slowly, swaying a little as he was hit by a dizzy spell. Looking over, he found Carson kneeling next to Rodney and frowned.

"John?"

Looking to Elizabeth, John nodded. "It's me. We're back."

"Oh, god! I feel like I was hit by a bus!" Rodney groaned as his eyes slowly opened. "What the hell...? Carson? Hi. Where am I?"

"You're on the platform of the machine."

Being reminded where they were John scrambled off the platform as fast as he could, ending up swaying dangerously, and having to be held up by Ronon when a dizzy spell hit him.

"Oh it is alright, Colonel. The energies only flow one way. Just don't get back on now." Zalenka informed him lightly.

Nodding, he watched as Carson helped Rodney stand and insisted they both come back to the infirmary for more testing.

Luckily, they switched back with only some residual dizziness and weakness. Otherwise they were fine, but Elizabeth ordered that machine made off-limits, not wanting anything else to happen because of it. They never figured out what the machine was for, with the switching of consciousness', but they really didn't want to stick around and find out, either.

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Thank you again for the notice, Debbie. Sorry about the misunderstanding, I hope the change in note clears it up.

Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	6. Psycho

LONG CHAPTER ALERT!

**Debbie418uk2** - True. In mine it's usually John that ends up mostly hurt. Hm, maybe I need to change that? (thinks about it) LOL I couldn't help but giggle at that. John is a smart ass, one of the reasons I love his character. I also love the banter between John and Rodney, it's cute. I absolutely love the sarcasm, which is why I try to lean on it every now and then.

**Godsdaughter77** - Yeap, that was what I was going for. Clumsy due to concussion. Thank you, I'm glad you're liking the story so far. :)

This chapter came from **Debbie418uk2**'s chapter 39 "Obsession" from Rodney's Really Bad Days. The chapter is her idea, and I'm honored she is allowing me to do a sort of side story to it. Sure, Sarah attacked Rodney, originally, and I'm not going to change that, but he was unconscious for days. What happened in that time?

The flashbacks will be from **Debbie418uk2**'s story, and the parts in between are mine.

Thank you for allowing me to do this.

**Disclaimer** : I do not own SGA or any of it's characters. Sarah Cooper is not mine, she came from **Debbie418uk2**'s Rodney's Really Bad Days (Chap 39 - 'Obsession', it's awesome! Check it out!). Most (if not all) of the flashback quotes are also not mine, either.

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**(John's POV)**

**Flashback**

Rodney came walking up briskly. "I need your help."

Rodney never asked me for help, so I assumed it was serious. "O...k..." I allowed myself to be pulled into the conference room, resisting the smart remark that was on the tip of my tongue. By the look on his face, this was serious. "What's up?"

"It's Sarah Cooper."

For a moment, I processed the name. _Oh._ "That cute little brunette lab tech of yours?" I remembered her. When she first came here, she was really quiet, and I tried to show her around but she insisted she was fine. I did notice she never _looked_ at me, with Rodney in the room, but I never really gave it much thought.

Rodney nodded, a blush covering his face. "Yeah. She's...err...coming on to me."

"Really?" Again it took me a moment to process this. A _cute_ girl was coming on to Rodney, and he needed _help_?! "What do you need me for?" It's not like I was usually the one playing matchmaker.

"I'm not sure what to do."

Ok, so that sent my mind spiralling to places south of the border, and I felt my eyes widen before narrowing. "Rodney...?" That came out really wrong, so can you blame me if I misunderstood?!

He shook his head, the look he was giving me, stating that I obviously had the wrong idea. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Look, she's been leaving cute little messages on my computer, flowers in my room. Last night I woke up and she was in my bedroom. Just sitting in a chair, watching me sleep. It's creepy."

Oh yeah, that definitely sounded like a stalker quality to me. But McKay was a genious. Best of the best on Atlantis, or so he liked to say. "How'd she...?"

"She hacked in."

He went on to explain what happened, and how 'inappropriate' it was, though I think he was more worried about the creepiness than inappropriate-ness. He asked me for my help, to kind of be a back supporter when he informed her she was being transferred back to earth. He couldn't deal with her, she was scaring the hell out of him and keeping her on Atlantis was definitely out of the question.

**End Flashback**

Walking through one of the darkened night hallways, I found myself looking back at that moment, and wishing I'd thought to put a guard on her sooner. After McKay's stuff had been destroyed, his entire room engulfed in flames, and what he told me about her, I should have done more.

Instead, I stood back, following the old 'innocent until proven guilty' thing, despite knowing deep down it had to be her.

I paused, recalling the viscous gleam in her eye as she stabbed Rodney, and the blood he choked up as he struggled to breathe. She just hit him and stabbed him like it was no big thing, I'd never seen such rage. And all because she'd been rejected? Part of me wished I'd never been involved, this was insane! Still, I knew that if I hadn't been there before, Rodney would have died for sure. I couldn't help the shiver of dread at that thought.

Activating my radio, I sighed quietly and shone the light of my P90 down the empty corridor behind me, before looking on in the direction I was going. "Sheppard here. No sign of her so far."

"Lorne here, sir. No sign of her at the east pier."

"Dechamps here, no sign of her at the south dock, sir."

"This is Radek Zalenka. No sign of her at the jumper bay."

Ronon hadn't reported, so obviously there had been no sign of her at the infirmary, where he'd positioned himself next to Rodney's currently comatose body. Carson hadn't called either, so there was no change in Rodney's condition, and Teyla hadn't called, meaning she and Elizabeth were safe.

I'd posted her with our base commander, just because this girl was so insane, I didn't even want to speculate at what she'd do, if she thought Elizabeth might be a threat to anything she wanted.

There was currently no sign of her, but also no way she could have gotten off Atlantis without us knowing. I don't care what kind of hacker skills she had. "Alright. Keep looking, as long as she's loose, McKay's in danger."

"Understood. Lorne out."

"Dechamps out."

"Uh, right. Zalenka out."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and kept going. I swept the light of my P90 around carefully, as I passed two empty bedrooms.

**Flashback**

"Can I, er, sleep on your couch, tonight?"

That had been a surprise, and I think I was starting to get worried. Rodney wasn't one to be cowed easily, let alone ask others to room with them. He was such a picky person, it was more he'd never even think of asking, then anything else. I let him stay, after he showed me his room. I don't really remember much of it, I was so shocked by the evident rage that whoever had done that, must have been feeling.

Then, I heard him say the name Sarah, and considering how the earlier meet-and-greet had gone, I wasn't too surprised.

"Wow. Gonna press charges?"

"She's probably hacked into the CCTV and deleted it. I would have. She had my door code, so I can't prove it was her. Look, maybe she's got it out of her system."

Oh, I doubted that. People as insane as this girl seemed to be, don't just get it out of their system with one attack.

"Kinda wish she hadn't torn up the photos of Jeanie and Madison, though."

I mentioned he could probably get more, and got the usual McKay remark for that. Obviously, I let him stay. I never realized how good of an idea it would be, until the alarms went off. I jumped awake, and watched as Rodney rolled right off the small couch he'd been lying on. Jumping up, I grabbed my hand gun and helped him up before the two of us rushed out of my room.

Why was I not surprised to find the source of the alarm being Rodney's room? Ok, so I wasn't expecting the blaze, but part of me really wasn't surprised. As I stated before, people like this never got it out of their system with one attack.

Elizabeth had rushed on to the scene only minutes before us, it seemed, and turned, relieved as we approached.

"Oh thank god you're alright!" Her concerned look remained, though, and she frowned in confusion. "We were afraid you were in there."

His face was white as he looked into the melted and blackened remains of his room.

"Where were you?"

"Well, uh, my room got trashed, earlier."

"Why didn't you report it?"

He shrugged, looking sheepish and definitely scared. "Well, I guess I didn't think it was important and I didn't want to mess with it. Anyhow, I was sleeping on Sheppard's couch."

I nodded at this, my own eyes wide as I checked out the remains of the room. Literally nothing but blackened metal remained. Nothing. Turning to Rodney, I tried to play it off casually. "I guess we don't have to pick it up, now."

**End Flashback**

I knew I never should have left Rodney alone. He tried to insist he was fine, but the circles under his eyes, white face, and constant jumpiness should have been a dead give-a-way. I know I couldn't have watched him 24/7, but somehow I felt I should have tried harder.

He'd been stabbed, badly. Carson didn't even know if he'd be alright.

This was all so hard to take in. Here, in the Pegasus Galaxy, we worry about alien viruses and creatures, Replicators, Genii, and Wraith. We have so many off world enemies, it never seemed to really occur to look for ones in our own city. That we could actually have dangerous enemies living with us on Atlantis.

We never even considered looking to our own, for things like this! Attempted murder, insane stalker issues. Obvious obsession... It made me wonder what else we could expect in Atlantis. What else was hiding here that we had no idea about?

"Doesn't the SGC even do background checks, or personality checks or _something_?!" I hissed between gritted teeth.

"They do."

I halted and froze as the silky but bitter voice spoke out from behind me. For a moment, I wondered how the hell I'd managed to miss her on my scout, but then, I hadn't really been paying attention.

"But then, it doesn't take much to drive people insane, now, does it Colonel?"

The way she said my title was with such disgust.

Turning slowly at first, I quickly jumped into gear and pulled my P90 up, only to have it kicked out of my hand, and feel a resounding blow to the side of my head. As everything spun, I blinked and staggered back as a dark shadow swung at my head again. The air whistled as it sailed past, and I caught the glinting of a blade in the faint light from Atlantis' moon.

"You! You just _had_ to interfere! We'd both be alone, and so happy right now, if it wasn't for you! But no... You just _had _to jump in and save him!" She hissed and stalked forward, her eyes flashing with rage as she held yet another knife.

_Alone, and 'happy'? _Had she been planning...? I backed up, trying to regain my bearings, as everything spun. "Listen to me, Sarah..."

"No! I'm done listening!" She lashed out, and I felt a sharp pain across my chest as I leaned back at the last moment. "You're all the same! All of you!"

I tried to ignore the seeping gash across my chest. Luckily, it wasn't that deep. Ducking under her swing, I jumped and rolled, coming up across the hall from her, and getting to my feet and stumbling as a sizzy spell hit me. Touching my forehead, I felt a stickiness there, and frowned deeply as I stared at her. "Sarah, Rodney doesn't deserve this."

"Rodney, of course he does!" Her eyes darkened and she sniffled, her face one of such sorrow. "I gave him everything. I gave him gifts, tried to tell him how much I love him, and I even brought him his coffee. I ran errands for him, I tried to ask him out, but he wouldn't give me the time." Her face suddenly transformed into a harder, colder, more insane one. She sneered before laughing a little. "How is dear Rodney, anyways?" Even her tone had changed and become colder.

**Flashback**

"Well, she damn near killed him. It's just as well medical assistance was so close, or he'd be dead. He's extremely critical, and there's always the risk of infection..."

I frowned as I listened in. "Doc..."

He shook his head, his look grim. "The next twenty four hours are crucial. He's a long way from being out of the woods. Right now he's alive, and if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go try and keep him that way." Walking back to the infirmary, Carson disappeared back into the area he'd sealed with a privacy curtain, where McKay was laying, struggling for life.

Then, Elizabeth turned to me, and her words shook me out of my trance. "How is the search for Sarah going?"

**End Flashback**

"Oh, actually, he's surprisingly good." I told her easily, hoping it would throw off her game.

Sneering, she giggled and laughed, shaking her head. "I'm a _lab tech_, Colonel. You'd think you'd realize that means I know practically everything Dr. McKay does." Her eyes turned serious and she shrugged. "He's on a ventilator, and if I remember correctly, Dr. Beckett said something about 'the next twenty four hours are critical', right?"

"You're not getting to him." I told her grimly, grabbing for my knife. It was at that moment that I realized where she'd gotten the one she used against me, as my hand felt at the empty sheath.

"Picked up a little bit on meeting a pickpocket from one of our friendly planets. Nice people, really friendly and they love to share things, including knowledge Too bad they're a little naive." She stated with a toothy grin and shrug. Waving the knife back and forth, she took a step closer. "Looking for this?"

I dropped my hand and stared at her slowly, glad that my vision was clearing. I was waiting for her to make her next move, and felt my heart pounding in fear, knowing she was capable of anything. Short of dropping down and grabbing the knife in my boot, I was basically unarmed. I still couldn't believe I hadn't realized until too late, that I didn't have a knife stashed in my vest.

Or that I didn't go back and get one.

"What's wrong, Colonel? You're really quiet." Her tone was clearly mocking me as she took another step forward. "Regretting getting in my way, now?"

"Not really." I stated with a shrug. "I'm just thinking it's such a pity." I noticed a movement behind her, and watched as Lieutenant Morrison stalked up a hallway behind Sarah.

Her face morphed into one of confusion. "Pity?"

"Well yeah." I took a single step back, and swallowed heavily as my back connected with the wall. "I mean, you're such a pretty girl. It's really a pity you're as loony as a bird."

Her glare was back, and she dove at me with a scream.

I didn't even have time to react. One minute, I'm expecting a comment from her, or a look of anger as she stuttered for words, the next, I'm grasping the hilt of the knife, as it's plunged into my arm. I knew my comment was harsh, but I hadn't expected her to react so quickly. Crying out as the sharp pain came over me, I heard a gunshot, and her weight disappeared from me.

I struggled to keep up as she ran, pulling the knife out of my arm and holding it tightly as I tried to keep my sight clear. I wanted to rest, I wanted to just pass out and wake up in the infirmary, blissfully drugged, but the longer she remained free, the more danger Rodney was in.

My legs threatened to cave under me, but I kept going. Rodney was my team mate, and my friend. I wasn't about to let this crazy...woman hurt him.

She made her way to a balcony that overlooked the ocean. Stopping there, she turned back, her face torn, frightened, angry, and almost dead at the same time. "You took him away!" She screamed at me, taking a step back. "I..." She looked down the hall, and I heard footsteps behind me. "I don't...have anything left." Tears rolled down her cheeks.

Realizing what she planned to do, I took a step forward, and raised my good arm. "Look, Sarah, there's a way around this." I very slowly took another step closer. "Come on, let's talk about this."

She shook her head and turned.

"Sarah!"

Before I could move, she'd hopped up on the ledge, before turning back. "It's too late." She stated brokenly as she leaned over backwards, spreading her arms out as she fell.

Rushing to the edge, I watched as she disappeared into a small dot, and a few seconds later, there was a massive splash in the ocean below. That area was extremely shallow, and I knew there was no way she could have survived. Letting my body slide down the railing, I turned and sat with my legs half up, letting the knife fall from my hand.

I saw Morrison running up behind me, calling to me, and I waved a little as my eyes closed a moment. After I gathered my thoughts, I tapped my radio with my free hand. "This is Sheppard. Sarah Cooper's dead. She committed suicide, jumping off the tower and into the ocean at the North Pier." Closing my eyes again, I sighed and tapped my radio again, trying to think of how I was going to report all this.

"Sir, are you alright?"

Opening my eyes, I nodded. In truth, I wasn't. Not yet, anyways.

**(Infirmary)**

"That was...really kinda scary." Rodney muttered from his bed.

He was doing a lot better, but he still wasn't allowed to leave he infirmary. Me, for my part, I waited until he was stronger to give him the whole story about what happened. Basically, my initial report to him was that she was found off the North Pier. I didn't know how he'd react to knowing about the confrontation, and until he was stronger, I didn't want to atempt it.

Besides, Elizabeth told me it was a good idea, when I spoke to her privately about it.

"She really said all that? _Did_ all that?!"

Looking steadily at him, I raised an eyebrow. "She tore your room apart, and burned everything down. You really need to ask?" As Ronon entered with a box, I grinned a little and gestured for him to place it in front of McKay. "Oh yeah, we all got together and got you a few things for your new room."

He looked suitably surprised and lifted the lid, his eyes going wide. "Oh, you didn't."

"I owed Chuck a new one, anyways, and thought I'd get you a spare. Just don't keep it in the same place." I watched as he carefully put the mini Canadian flad aside, and reach in the box again, his jaw dropping. "I asked Elizabeth to send a message to the SGC to explain to Jeanie what happened, and ask her for duplicate pictures for you."

Rodney's eyes filled with tears as he pulled out the framed pictures of Jeanie and Madison. Then his face filled with confusion as he saw a note and picked it up.

"And I have no idea what that is."

"It's from Jeanie. She says she's gonna kill me for scaring her so badly, and that she's glad I'm gonna be ok." He smiled a little. "And she wants to see me whenever she can." Looking past the note, his face fell and he carefully pulled out a pile of DVDs.

"Like I said..." Ronon sidled up and grinned. "I saved the Herculese episodes for you. And Sheppard mentioned getting some Xena in there, too. I don't know what it is, but..." He shrugged. "We can always check it out, right, buddy?"

Looking a little more grateful at the mention of Xena, Rodney grinned and shook his head. "Right."

Sighing a little, I nodded at him and saw the thanks in his eyes as he gently touched the images of his sister and neice. Smiling a little, I laid back and relaxed, thankful it was all over, and everyone was safe.

_R.I.P._ _Sarah, I hope your next life is a better one._

Closing my eyes, I let myself go, just listening to the others chat.

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Hope you like it.

It lies heavily on **Debbie418uk2**'s Rodney's Really Bad Days, so if there's anything you don't understand, you'll have to read "Obsession" to understand it. And great big thanks to **Debbie** for letting me write this!

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	7. Burn, Baby, Burn

**Debbie418uk2** - I'm glad you liked "Psycho", it's definitely one of my favorites. I'd love to work on a story with you, just let me know if you have an idea.

**Godsdaughter** - Yeah, I've had a stalker once, and it's beyond creepy. However, 'Sarah' took it to a whole new level, it was fun working with her character.

Sorry about the late post (**Debbie418uk2,** I'll be reading your newest chapter and replying to it as soon as I post these), but I'm home now, so time to catch up. I think my grandfather's computer has a bad virus. I could sign in repeatedly and it only kept asking for my login info. O.o.

And next week I'm going to Ottawa for a few days, so it might be another late update.

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**(Off world, Normal POV)**

Raising an eyebrow as his team stood by the active gate, John listened to the briefing on the missing team.

"So the initial Intel states the planet has a very primitive civilization that believe anything they can't explain is...evil?" Rodney's eyebrows went up. "And they're hunted and put on trial? And they're burned at the stake??"

"Sounds like the Salem witch hunts." John muttered with a frown. "Only maybe a tad more...strict in the rules?" Looking to Elizabeth, he tilted his head the tiniest bit. "And there's been no reports from Team Seven?"

She shook her head. "No. They were due to report in four hours ago, and there's no sign of them. I dialed in and used the MALP, but they're not by the gate, and they're not answering the radio."

Nodding, John looked to his team and shrugged. "Guess we're going on a manhunt."

"Oh. Do we really have to? That is to say, do we _all_ really have to? I mean, I don't do well in forests, and the whole burning at the stake doesn't sound appealing, and did I mention I don't do well in forests? All those _bugs_ and the climbing." Rodney was talking really fast, but John ignored him as he lead his team to the gate and through it.

On the other side, the forest was surprisingly...disappointing? I wasn't big or tropical, it looked like an average forest. It also wasn't hot, but not too cool, either.

"Lt. Jonas." John tapped his ear. "Do you read?" His tone was calm, almost bored. "Captain Morgan?"

"They're not here." Rodney abruptly turned around. "Ok, let's head back." Seeing that no one was listening to him, he sighed. "Did I mention this was a really bad idea??"

They walked for a while, before coming upon a small village. People dressed in plain earth tone clothing were walking around, doing their usual business. Strangely, it reminded John and Rodney a lot of early time villages back on earth. One woman was carrying a grain bag, some scaled lizards with feathered wings following behind her.

_Ok, so not _exactly_ like earth._ John though as he watched her for a moment.

A man was carrying what appeared to be...

"Ok, I can safely say our people have been here." John pointed out to Rodney, gesturing towards the man with the radio in his hands, holding it like he was afraid to catch a disease from it. Crouching down, he activated his radio and spoke out. "You there."

The man jumped and backed off, dropping the radio on the ground before running into the village, speaking in a strange tongue.

"We'd better circle around and see if we can find our people." John suggested, pulling out his binoculars and putting them to his eyes.

There was no response.

Frowning, John looked over his shoulder to find several strange people holding his friends at weapons point. Despite being so primitive, they had sharp implements against the throat of McKay. Ronon looked more than ready to take out the one holding a pitchfork to his throat, but with McKay not being able to fight like the others...

"Put 'em down, guys." John stated quietly, lowering his gun.

The people exchanged a few words before turning towards them. The leader, an elder man with short black hair, frowned.

"What do you do here?"

"We came looking for our...friends. People like us, who came to explore."

"The ones with those evil tools! Witchcraft! And you! You are their allies! You are witches, too!" Turning to the others, the man shouted words in an alien language, and the team was quickly tied up despite their protests. Ronon put up a bit of a fight, but the person holding Rodney tightened their grip, earning a choked plea from him, and Ronon settled down.

Funny enough, there were a lot of similarities between this planet and earth, but for all that, they didn't even have trials. Everything that happened was a blur. It seemed these people had figured out McKay was physically their weakest link, and kept him as a bargaining chip to get to the rest of Team Sheppard. They questioned them, but they didn't tell them anything they couldn't, despite their threats.

In the end, they told John they'd burned their 'fellow witches' and they were next. They'd used McKay to get John out of the temporary holding cell, which was strangely enough, made of metal, and locked it up so the others couldn't get out, even going as far as to toss Rodney inside. John was bound, so there wasn't much he could do, and they dragged him to a large fire pit that he could quickly see had tons of fire wood around it, and people bringing more.

"Whoa! Wait! I'm not your enemy!" Well, that was debatable. John could guarantee no trade negotiations, ever, but if it slowed them down or got them to let him go... "Really. We're just...technologically advanced?"

"Witchcraft! He's trying to cast a spell!"

"No! I'm not! Geez! Don't you people know what technology is?! You've got a steel cage, for god's sake!" John struggled against his bindings. "Just let us go, and we'll leave, ok? We'll go in peace and never come back!" They dragged him up to the stake and tied him securely in place, his back pressing painfully tightly against the wooden pole behind him. "Don't do this! Look, you kill us, and more of my people will come!"

That made them pause, and they looked up at him with a combination of fear, doubt and spite.

"We have many, many more people, just on the other side of that big stone gate!" He cried loudly, trying to at least stall them, and to remember they didn't know what a Stargate was, so calling it that, probably wouldn't help.

The leader scowled and walked over. "Lies! He's trying to bewitch you!" Grabbing a lit torch, he set it into the wood, smiling triumphantly as the wood caught and began to burn.

_This is _so_ not happening!_ "I'm serious! My people will come for me! Um, uh... Hey! If I was a witch, though I'm a guy, so wouldn't that make me a warlock? Oh, right, not helping. If I were a witch, I'd have gotten outta here by now!" The fire was beginning to climb the logs and already John could feel the heat on his ankles. _Crap, crap, CRAP!_ "Please. Let me go." He squirmed against the pole, trying to work himself free. "We're not here to hurt you people!! What's wrong with you?!"

The fire was climbing higher at an alarming rate, and soon John's feet began to burn. It began at his soles, the bottoms of his feet getting uncomfortably hot, and worked it's way up to his ankles. He felt the heat radiating around him, and the smoke rose thickly, making it nearly impossible to breathe. John began to cough as he struggled against his bonds.

He could feel the burning in his feet, and was sure to have severe burns.

"Let me go! We didn't do anything to you people!" Ok, so maybe it sounded kind of weird and futile to say all these things, but all John could think was that it was getting unbearably hot. "What about a trial?!" His heart was racing so fast, he thought it would leap out of his chest, and he felt his panic rising.

Coughing more, John closed his eyes as they began to sting, not wanting to submit them to a lot of heat. Trying to take a steadying breath, he found himself inhaling the heat and choking more on that, pain racking through his chest.

Suddenly, John heard a sound he recognized. It was the Asgard beaming technology the Daedalous used.

Daring to crack his eyes open a bit, he coughed violently, struggling to breath and trying to climb as high as he could on the wood, as his legs were burning uncomfortably. Even his hands were beginning to burn and he balled them up, trying to draw his arms higher behind his back. Everything was getting blurry, and it was hot, so hot. He felt the sweat rolling down his face, and covering his body. He could hear sizzling as his legs burned, and felt something hot dripping down them as the material burned away.

People raced around, several of them shooting off blasts John recognized as stunners. Soon, he saw people racing to the fire, despite not being able to make them out, because he could barely see. Blurry images stopped near the fire.

"John!" The voice was feminine. "Oh my god! Get over here! We need water, immediately!" Another second. "John, it's Elizabeth! Hang on!"

He heard something sizzle and the smoke grew stronger. Slamming his eyes shut against it, he choked and coughed, feeling the world slide dangerously around him as he struggled to remain conscious. His chest burned, every breath he took burned. Immediately, there was an amazingly soothing sensation as the heat faded, and the pain began to subside. Still, it hurt so much to breathe.

"John, can you hear me?!"

It hurt too much, he couldn't stand it. His legs burned agonizingly, and he could feel his body trembling as he struggled to remain standing. His hands even hurt like hell, and he still couldn't open his eyes.

"Colonel! Get him the hell out of there, now!"

He kept trying to breathe, despite the pain, but it was getting harder and harder. He could feel himself missing breaths, and he tried to keep himself conscious, but it was all just too much.

Too much. He let his legs give way, knowing at least the wood wouldn't burn him as he slid down the pole. Chips of wood dug into his back, and pain renewed as he ended up putting more weight on his burned legs. Feeling the world slant again, everything faded to black, and he passed out.

"Oh my... John!"

**(Atlantis)**

"Does anyone know what happened to Jonas and his team?" Elizabeth asked Team Sheppard quietly as Carson checked out the cut on Rodney's throat.

Teyla and Ronon looked clueless and shook their heads, but Rodney looked understandably upset.

"They're dead. The people were gloating about killing a bunch of witches. They... They were gonna kill us, too." He touched his throat as Carson finished and swallowed heavily before looking over to another bed.

There, Sheppard lay. His lower legs were bound with bandages, as were his wrists. Most of his body was covered with the surgical gown, and the blanket over that, but a nurse was changing the bandages. He was out cold, drugged. He had an oxygen mask over his face and was once again hooked up to the heart rate monitor and IV

"How is he?" Teyla asked with a frown.

"Severe burns on his legs. That was the worst of it, externally. He also suffered from burns in his lungs, from inhaling the smoke. We're heading back to Atlantis, where one of the Tok'ra guests has a hand held healing device. He'll be fine, but I want to keep him in a drug induced coma for the time being. Then I don't want him on duty for at least two weeks."

Elizabeth nodded grimly. "I'll give him a month off." Turning to the others, she sighed. "When I lost contact with Jonas' team, I had the Daedalous reroute to see if they could pick up any signs of them. It's a good thing I did. I joined Major Lorne's team through the gate, as the Daedalous arrived."

Teyla nodded, a small, warm smile on her face. "I am pleased we were able to save the Colonel. You made a wise decision."

Shaking her head, Elizabeth sighed loudly and looked at the drugged Colonel. "No, I didn't. The smart decision would have been to never have let Jonas' team make contact with a primitive race, that was known to be flighty and jump to conclusions. By all accounts, our people resemble witches to them in every way, I should have seen this coming."

"You could not have, do not blame yourself." Teyla put in softly, placing her hand on Elizabeth's shoulder.

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This one might have gone a little quickly, it was one of the ones done before I started getting the real hang of it.

Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	8. Transporters Suck

**Debbie418uk2** - I love how we can use the same subject and have varying results. It's fun for sure. I'm also replying to your PM here, and thank you for the spelling suggestions. I did notice in my little John chapter "Mini Me", I had him not having problems with clothing, so I'm going to go back and edit that (though not have him naked :() LOL.

No pain or blood involved in this one. Just some embarassment.

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**(Atlantis, John's POV)**

How long have we been here, now? Our group practically moved here, to Atlantis, and now we're stuck. Every day we face new threats. Sometimes it's evil life-sucking aliens, sometimes suicidal other aliens, sometimes evil robotic aliens... Hell, sometimes it was diseases and sicknesses we've never faced before! Outbreaks of god-knows-what.

And over it all, the one thing I'm most worried about, on Atlantis at least, is, well... This.

Here I am, staring down at the transporter system and thinking over all the Star Trek shows I watched. That one guy, I forget his name... Robby, no, Reg.. Reginald Barclay! Yeah, that's it! He had a point about transporters and teleporters, though they only really had the transporters...

My point is, the guy had a point. We're 'teleported' or 'transported' and turned into billions of little micro atoms, or something, how easy was it for something to go wrong? One atom to be out of place? All it took was that. One atom out of place, and it could turn me, Col. John Sheppard, into pretty much anything.

Or, hell, even _kill_ me.

"I don't like these things." I muttered, hesitantly reaching for the control. Sure, I've used them in the past, but I never really _thought_ about the whole dematerializing and rematerializing thing. Now that I've watched practically a whole season of Star Trek, and that one episode in particular, and really thought about it...

Suddenly, my ear piece beeped, and I jumped a little in surprise. Yes, I said _surprise_. "Damn things." I cursed, lifting a hand to my ear and tapping the piece. "Sheppard here, what's up?" I turned away from the transporter, figuring I could always get back to it later.

"Col., Sir, the Daedalus just entered orbit." That was Chuck reporting as he'd been asked.

They were having some problems with their navigations arrays, or something, I'd missed the full story, and had to detour their trip back to earth so Rodney could help Hermiod with them.

"Got it."

Heading straight down the hallway, I stopped and groaned. Without taking the transporters, I'd take well over an hour, at top speed, to get back to the main tower from here. With them, it would take less than fifteen minutes.

In all reality, the problem with the array really didn't need me, but Elizabeth had mentioned we should all go, and that way we could make a trip to a nearby planet that had no gate, and check it out. Make a trip out of the malfunction, I guess.

_I don't have a damn choice._ I thought darkly, turning and stalking up to the transporter. Swiping my hand quickly, I waited with baited breath, briefly wondering how many Ancients were disassembled, and not properly reassembled, for them to get all the kinks out of the system. _Whoo, boy. Not a comforting thought._ I shivered as the doors opened. _And way too much Star Trek._ Stepping in, I turned and swiped my hand over the control, closing my eyes at the flash of light.

And of course, when I'd opened my eyes again, I was standing down the hallway from the locker room where our off world gear was stored. That's where I made my bee-line to, after checking over myself, to at least see that I was in one piece, and wasn't missing anything important.

After gearing up, and meeting the others in the control room, I sighed loudly as we made to beam aboard the Daedalus. Transporters worked, there didn't seem to be a reason for the teleporters not to. And they were Asgard technology, right? So there was an even slimmer chance of problems.

"Ready?"

_Uh, how about 'no'?_ Nodding to Elizabeth, I saw her raise an eyebrow at me and felt my eyes narrow in return. That woman was entirely too perceptive, sometimes.

Tapping her ear piece, she gave me a strange look before turning away. "Weir to the Daedalus, they're ready."

There was another bright flash of light, and the next thing I knew, I was standing on board the Daedalus.

**(Normal POV)**

Luckily, the systems didn't seem badly damaged. It was just a small glitch Rodney'd mentioned, and Hermiod had even had it fixed by the time the team got down to the engineering section. It was a bit of a put out, but at least they were still going to go to that planet.

The trip was a tiny bit slower than expected, probably because now a glitch was showing up in the engine buffers, and even in some of the ID manifests. Locked rooms were being a pain to unlock and get into, and sometimes systems were going offline for seemingly no reason, only to come back online a few moments later.

Hermiod dismissed it as the glitch spreading to other systems, and that it wasn't really a _glitch_ so much as a virus. Just not an intentional one, he surmised. Either way, he'd managed to locate and repair several of the problems, but had yet to locate the source of the virus, itself.

"Huh, maybe I should stay and help?" Rodney suggested, stepping forward.

Hermiod sent him a look that was about as scathing as a naked Asgard could get, and shook his head slowly.

"Or, uh, maybe not?"

"Come on Rodney, let the nice Asgard do his work." John stated as they turned and made their way to the tansporters. "Hey, uh, what's the chances the virus will have reached the transport system by now?"

Looking at John a moment, Rodney shook his head. "Don't tell me you're afraid! We should be safe for a while yet. Hang on and I'll check." He walked over to the console, he looked at it a second. "Hm, ok, maybe I was wrong. It looks like the system's not receiving full power. We can teleport down relatively safely, but only one at a time."

"_Relatively_ safely?" John asked pointedly.

"Ok, someone's gotta go first, so I can test it. It'll be fine, Colonel." He wasn't even looking at the team as he waved towards the platform. "I'll work the controls and monitor the output, and go last."

"Gonna beam us down, Scotty?" John suddenly blinked and flashed back to Barclay getting in the transporter, alone, and being bitten by the weird bug caught in the system. "Uh, is this wise?"

"Smart ass." Glaring at me a moment, Rodney shook his head.

Finally, Ronon seemed to have enough and stepped on to the platform. "Lets just get this over with, McKay."

Looking up in surprise, Rodney nodded quickly. "Yes, yes. Of course. Ok." He typed in a command and watched the console as the others watched Ronon vanish in a beam of light. "And, ok." He seemed all too smug with himself as he tapped his ear piece. "Ronon, you ok down there?"

There was silence for a moment. "...Yeah, this place is... Wow."

"Ronon?"

"You brought me down in the middle of a village. Well, hello there." Everyone's eyebrows skyrocketed at the suddenly flirtatious quality in his voice. "A village full of cute young girls. Oh, and I'm ok. All in one-WHOA! One...uh...piece..."

One piece that was apparently getting grabbed, if his tone had anything to say about it.

Turning to the teleport platform, John watched Teyla climb up on to it, raising an eyebrow at him and obviously fighting back a grin. "I am ready, Dr. McKay."

Nodding distractedly, Rodney focused on the controls, oblivious to the redness in his cheeks, and typed in the command again. "Here we go."

Teyla vanished in a burst of light, and a moment later, they heard her voice come over the radio. "I am well, as well."

Nodding, Rodney turned to their leader and raised an eyebrow. "If you really wanna stay up here, I'm more than happy to show you how to work the controls, and you can beam me down."

Glaring at him a little, John walked over to the teleporter, trying to ignore his racing heart as he went. Stepping on to the platform, he hoisted the P90, keeping it aimed low, but at the ready, just in case. "I'm ready." He stated to Rodney as he looked up at him with a small grin.

Shrugging, he typed in the command. "You're ready to do." John heard the machine fire up, and the last thing he remembered, before teleporting away, was Rodney's face morphing into one of shock and him hurriedly scrambling to do something.

**(Off World, John's POV)**

Well, that really wasn't all _that_ bad. No delayed time in the teleporter, with evil aliens. No pain, no fuzziness. I could still feel my hands on the P90, so I still had both arms. I was still standing, so I must have had both legs.

So...Why did Rodney freak out, and why did I suddenly have a feeling something was missing?

And...why was everyone staring at me in shock?

"What?"

I saw Teyla's eyes snap away from somewhere lower on my body and tap her ear. "He is here."

Frowning, I felt for my ear piece, never taking my eyes off the tons of eyes of all the, Ronon was very much right, _cute_ girls, who were staring at me with really _huge_ eyes. _Wait, where's my ear piece?_

Teyla was now grinning, and staring quite pointedly at my face. "He does not have it." She raised an eyebrow. "He does not have that, either." The other eyebrow rose. "No, he does not have them, either."

Ronon was chuckling and looked away.

"What?!" I finally cried, wondering what the hell was going on. Then, a breeze went by.

Yes, you'll notice I really _noticed_ the wind. Well, I don't normally, but when I'm feeling drafts, I _shouldn't_ be feeling, I tend to be a little more...perceptive?

Either way, I looked down. _OhRodney'sgonnadie._ I thought as I felt my eyes widen, jaw drop, and the sudden heat in my face. "WHAT THE HELL?!" Carefully, I moved my, thankfully still intact P90 to cover me the best it could, and gestured for Teyla to hand over her ear piece.

She did so, with one of the biggest, naughtiest grins I'd ever seen. "Colonel."

Feeling my eyes narrow, I took the ear piece and put it in my ear, hearing Rodney laughing up a storm on the other end. "McKay." I all but growled.

That must have been impressive, because Ronon looked back at me with a raised eyebrow, and Rodney shut right the hell up.

Taking a deep breath, I smiled the best I could at the giggling and whispering girls all around us. "Ok, you've had your laugh."

"I swear! I tried to stop it! There didn't seem to be a problem until I'd already set it to teleport you, and it came up last minute, and I managed to save something, it was only set to remove non-organic material, so you're lucky, but I didn't know what it was I managed to-"

"P90." I stated quietly.

He went silent before I heard escaping snickers on my end. I could just picture him hunched over the controls, laughing his ass off, but trying to keep it quiet. "I'm...sorry, Colonel." He managed to breathe after a moment. "And I won't be able to do anything about it for a while. The teleporters are now down, for safety of course."

"Oh, I don't think so."

"Colonel, we can't send anyone else down."

"I never said to send any_one_ else down." I heard him snickering again and sighed loudly. "Alright, alright. Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes."

That only seemed to send Rodney into a fit of hysterics, and now that vision changed to him rolling around on the floor of the teleporter room, clutching his stomach and laughing his ass off.

Teyla shot me a confused look, and I shook my head. I could explain later, but for now... I readjusted the P90, and wished it wasn't so damn breezy out.

_Oh yes, Rodney is very much dead, when I get back._

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Hope you like it

R+R please

This was originally intended to have John face teleporter bugs, like Reginald Barclay, but in the end, I found this funnier. OMG! I couldn't stop giggling at this one, and I corrected the spelling mistake in Daedalus' name, thanks to **Debbie418uk2**

And since I'm here, and feeling up to it, BONUS UPDATE!

Thank you

Tenshi


	9. Volcano

**Debbie418uk2** - Yes, Rodney did give him a towel in your story, albeit a SMALL ONE! Lol! I know, poor John, right? I couldn't stop giggling at it as I read over it. I am mean to him, aren't I? LOL

**Godsdaughter77** - Don't talk about 'bite's, I've done a chapter on John being bitten by the alien equivalent of a mosquito. LOL.

A slightly less humorous chapter, but I thought the ending was kind of cute. Enjoy and thank you for sticking with me! Lots of chapters to go yet and new ideas hitting all the time (due to combined muses, like my own little Sheppard fairy floating around, **Debbie418uk2**, the episodes and movies I've watched ;).

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**(Earth, John's POV)**

I remember thinking, this is nothing like the movie. Here I was, driving down the street when my phone rings. I'm not really sure who I expected it to be, but when I saw the N.O.R.A.D number, I immediately felt my heart drop.

They knew I was on my way to the SGC, I wasn't even due back for another two hours, so there didn't really seem to be any reason I could think of, to call me, unless something important came up.

Maybe it had something to do with the earthquakes in the area. Or maybe it had to do with the massive, dark cloud in the sky, that seemed to cover the city for miles.

_That wasn't there yesterday, and didn't they forecast sunny weather for today?_ Either way, I quickly answered my phone. "Sheppard."

It was General Landry, informing me that the cloud I'd noticed, wasn't a cloud.

"Excuse me, sir, but… a volcano?!"

Evidently, a volcano had erupted about a mile north of my location, and though there wasn't much trouble yet from the lava, the smoke and heat were causing problems with evacuations in the area. Some of the SGC marines were being rerouted to the disaster, to help with evacuation of the civilians, and Rodney, Ronon and Teyla had already been dispatched to help, along with SG-1.

"Alright. I understand." Stopping at a red light, I ducked my head to check out all the traffic fleeing from the area, including several emergency vehicles. Once the light changed, I changed route to follow more army trucks to the eruption site. "I'm already on my way."

After hanging up, I checked to make sure I had all my electronics in the glove compartment of my truck, seeing as how the heat would probably melt the hell out of them, and turn them into useless scraps of metal. I also removed my black leather jacket, already noticing the raise in temperature.

Soon, I could see the source of what I had thought before was one massive cloud. There had been a small park, with a large water fountain in the center.

Notice I said 'had been'?

Now it was a massive hole in the ground, where lava was slowly raising up. A ridge had already formed, from the cooled lava, and more poured out of the opening, burning trees in fires, and slowly spreading destruction as it went. There was a massive column of smoke coming from the center of the hole, and it was spewing balls of how molten rock, which were landing everywhere.

"Damn!" I pulled over and jumped out of my truck, staring in shock at the volcano. It did seem to be a small one, but when it came to things like this, size didn't matter. It was still capable of causing massive destruction. I looked around and it only took me a moment to locate the others. I was about to run over, when a scream caught my attention. "What the hell?!"

I spun around, and found a young girl standing by a parked car. The lava hadn't gotten far, but it was nearing the road where she was. Unfortunately, that wasn't what she was screaming about.

"Oh, crap!" I don't even think I paused or hesitated. I only remember running towards her. I had to hop over the hood of the car, since lava had made it to the wheels on one side. Landing next to her, I grabbed her arm, seeing she was only about 15 and frowned at the smoking, fiery rock on the other side and turned back. "Come on, I'll get you out of here!"

"John! Hang on!"

Lifting the girl into my arms, I looked to the hood and paused. It wouldn't be so easy to jump, with her in my arms, but I could feel the heat by my feet, from the closing in lava.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my lower back, and couldn't help but scream in agony, feeling my legs shake as I struggled not to collapse with the girl in my arms. _Holy crap! What the hell?!_ That had been unexpected. Part of me wanted to turn and find out what hit me, but it hurt to much. Also, I had the girl in my arms, and if I turned, I risked exposing her to whatever had hurt me. I had to get her out of there!

But...how? I couldn't simply walk around the car, and the pain in my back made thinking clearly really difficult. I tried to lift my leg to the wheel, thinking to jump up on it and run over the hood, but moving my leg sent a fresh jolt of pain up my back, and I felt myself stagger, still trying my hardest not to lose the girl.

It was so hard. My legs felt like jelly, and my back hurt like hell. It felt like I'd been hit by something hard, but now like acid had been poured into the wound.

"Oh my god! Over here! I need help!" That sounded like Samantha Carter. "John! Just hang on a little longer! Hurry! Hurry!"

The heat was getting worse, and my feet were beginning to burn. The pain in my back had faded to a dull burning ache, but I knew the moment I moved, it would renew. Something landed on the door of the car, and I turned my head, wincing at the pain even _that_ caused me, and saw a smoking ball of rock and molten lava stuck to the metal.

_Oh, damn! Tell me that's _not_ what hit me!_

I felt a sudden movement in my arms, and managed to focus, seeing the girl turn and jump on to the hood of the car. Once she had her balance, she turned and held out her hand. Her eyes were blue and wide with terror, but at the same time, she looked like she couldn't imagine leaving me behind.

Everything was blurry. All I could think about, was the sharp pain in my back. It ran up my spine to my neck, and down to my feet. I couldn't move, as right at that moment, I felt like I was going to collapse if I tried.

Still, I managed to lift my hand to my back, feeling the sweat running down my face and the heat growing overwhelming at my feet.

"Oh, no. Colonel! Can you hear me?!" There was Teyla, I think.

The moment my hand touched the spot on my back, it burned too, and I cried out again, feeling tears leak out to join the sweat rolling down my face. I pulled back sharply, trying to tune out the agony, and saw the bits of rock on my hand.

Then another hand joined it.

Blinking, I swallowed heavily as I heard the car moving in front of me, and a feminine gasp.

"It's alright. You must jump. There."

That was Teal'c. I recognized his voice.

"Do not worry, I will get him to safety. Go, now."

Looking up as the small hand holding mine let go, I watched as she hesitantly turned and jumped off the other side, being caught by Cam Mitchell. Once he let her go, he pointed out to an ambulance and turned back, nodding at me.

I couldn't help but groan as a fresh wave of pain ran up my back.

"Colonel Sheppard. You must take my hand."

The heat became a burning, and I could hear my shoes sizzling as they began to melt. Frowning a little, I tried to take a step forward, and everything slid dangerously. I felt my legs give out, as a fresh wave of pain came over me, and saw two strong arms reach down to catch me.

**(Hospital, Normal POV)**

General Landry entered the small hospital room and looked at the sleeping John Sheppard. "How is he?"

"Burned up. The pain must have been excruciating. There was lava on the rock that hit him, and it burned into his back. When he touched it, it also burned his fingers. Luckily, we had something to help with that." Grinning a little, Sam raised an eyebrow and shrugged a little, hiding the small Tok'ra healing device she was holding.

Landry smirked back a little before handing over a briefcase. He knew Sam wouldn't have done much, so hopefully no one would have any questions, and the doctor looking over John was a confidant of the SGC. "How did things go with the evacuation?" Part of him wished they could do more, but there was only so much they could do without causing suspicion. Too many nurses and doctors saw him being wheeled in, on a stretcher. _Those_ paramedics refused to be talked out of bringing him to a public hospital, and currently, General O'Neill was working on the paperwork to get John transferred to the secure SGC infirmary.

Not that, that's what anyone else would know. They'd see it as him being transported to a secure location, and that's all.

Quietly and quickly, Sam packed the device into the briefcase before sealing it up and handing it back.

"We managed to get everyone out safely. There were a few deaths, as to be expected..." There were several grim looks. "The girl didn't want to leave Colonel Sheppard, once she realized he got hurt, protecting her." Daniel looked to the door as the young girl walked into view and slowly entered, looking a little nervous. "Hello there."

Waving a little, she held a small stuffed bunny and wore white pants and a grey t-shirt. Her long blonde hair and blue eyes stood out almost vividly. "Will he be ok?"

General Landry nodded. "He'll be fine."

Nodding back, she walked in and stood by the side of his bed. She looked at him for a long moment before carefully leaning over, giving him a big hug, and putting the little stuffed bunny next to his head.

"Thank you." She smiled a little before waving to the others and leaving.

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	10. Pain in the Ass

**Debbie418uk2** - This one should be a bit of a giggler in the end. I found a few chapters of yours to do tags to, and so far I have finished 'Kirk Sheppard' a tag to 'The Kirk Factor', 'Alien Allergies' a tag to 'Katie's Gift', and 'Major Revenge' a tag to 'Vengeance is Mine'.

And yes, I'm sure it hurt. Yeah, I noticed I didn't have much on his team, but during the incident, I wanted to show he had like a tunnel vision and was focusing on the girl in danger, not anything else. His team was away from the lava, so they were safer than she was, in his eyes. I loved the ending, how she came in and gave him a hug before putting her stuffed bunny beside him. I thought that was cute.

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**(John's POV)**

"Elizabeth, are you sure about this?"

Looking at me, she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head a little before crossing her arms over her chest. "By all rights, John, _we're_ the invaders. I think these people have every right to _request_ a meeting with us."

"And we did displace my people on their homeland." Teyla pointed out, her P90 aimed at the ground.

After all this time, we'd managed to pick up lifesigns on the giant landmass on Atlantis. They hadn't appeared before, but I think it was mainly because they seemed to be moving from the opposite side of it. Maybe nomads, but they requested to speak to us when they realized we'd displaced people into their former home.

Ronon stayed quiet, as usual, and stared around as our team stood in the center of a large clearing, and Rodney tinkered away on his scanner.

"McKay, anything?"

Staring up at the giant, Rodney raised an eyebrow. "No. It's only been maybe ten minutes since you last asked me."

"Rodney." Keeping my P90 aimed higher, I sighed. "Every ten minutes counts. Do you have _any_ idea if anyone's out there, besides us?"

He shook his head, huffing loudly and returning to his work. "What part of 'No' don't you get? As far as I can tell..." He looked around pointedly. "We're the only one's here. Unless you wanna wander through the woods, looking for our 'guests', I suggest you have a little more patience."

I wanted to say something, but realized that he was kind of right. Plus, with Elizabeth there, I really didn't want to submit her to more of our arguing. "Fine." I turned to Teyla. "What did your people find out about the, uh..."

"Ferrins?"

_Why does that make me think small, furry animals?_ "Uh, yeah... Them."

"They are quite upset with our people being on their land, but I believe Halling has managed to make them understand our situation. I am not certain, but I believe he mentioned us staying in Atlantis, and this may have influenced their decisions."

"Ok, so this may or may not be a good thing." I muttered to myself.

"Oh!"

Spinning to Rodney, I watched as he grinned and held up the device.

"Oh! I've got it!" He looked at it a moment, and his grin promptly faded. "Or... I had it. Damn it! What's wrong with this thing?!" He tapped it with his hand and frowned. Then, his eyes widened. "Oh boy."

"Rodney..."

"Oh, um... We're... We're not alone. Um, actually, we're, uh... We're surrounded." His eyes were still wide. "But-But it could be a problem with the scanner. I mean, it took so long to get it working, maybe it's just giving more signals than there really are?" Getting off his ass slowly, he remained crouched down and shuffled closer to the rest of us. "I mean, maybe?"

"Maybe??" Shaking my head, I raised my P90 and stood partially in front of Elizabeth as Ronon and Teyla closed in on both sides behind me, enclosing her and Rodney behind us. "Well, there's only one way to find out. Hello?!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Rodney demanded as he jumped up and slapped the back of my shoulder.

"McKay. Enough. If they're really out there, they probably have us outnumbered, and if they haven't approached..." Leaving off, I shrugged.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of a bunch of weapons being launched. I was no expert, seeing as how we were on an alien planet, but they sounded a lot like... "Arrows! We're under attack!"

Ok, so only a few arrows, but like Rodney once experienced, they can hurt like hell if you get one in the ass.

Turning, I ordered Ronon and Teyla to get Rodney and Elizabeth to safety as I took the six. I turned back around, and for the sake of...diplomacy? I fired my P90 low, at the ground before the edge of the woods. I turned back to run with the others, watching arrows landing here and there, near my feet. Then, all of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain...

Screaming in agony, I wanted to repeat Rodney's words, the day he got shot in the ass with an arrow. _That did _not_ just happen!_ I thought with wide eyes, as I grabbed at the arrow. I saw Rodney turn back, at my scream, and despite my watering eyes as I struggled to limp behind them, I saw his eyes sparkling with suppressed worry and laughter.

"Say a word, and you die!" I called loudly, through my grit teeth.

I tried to keep up, barely noticing as we neared the treeline on the opposite end of the field, but finally my legs gave out on me, and I felt myself crashing to the ground. I heard the others call me, and footsteps racing in my direction from where we'd come from. Then, everything slowly went dark.

**(Normal POV)**

As Team Sheppard, minus John sat around a roaring fire, they were talking with several people. They looked similar to the Athosians, only they seemed to prefer their clothing dyed to slightly darker blends, and they'd also taken to dying their hair, too, to help them blend in to the forest.

"I had heard they came from the city of the Elders." A small woman stated in protest, tying a braid into her long, sandy colored hair. "Therefor, I believed they were protected like them. They cannot be the Elders. They did not see the attack. The test."

"They never claimed to _be_ the Elders." A brunette woman with green eyes stated quietly. "Merely that they live in the ancient city. You had no right to attack them. I am only glad I arrived when I did. I am afraid that if I did not, things would have escalated."

"It was just a test." the girl muttered with a frown.

"And a failed test, at that." Turning to the others, she grimaced a little. "The test was not meant to severely harm anyone. The aim of the fighters was to disable perhaps one of your people, if we could. We know the Elders used powers to protect themselves from physical attack, and often times were able to predict it happening early."

"We never saw this coming." Elizabeth stated with a slight frown, though her eyes danced with laughter. "And you're sure our man will be alright?"

She nodded. "We used a healing salve on his wound to help numb the pain."

Rodney choked into his drink, snorting a little bit of it up his nose and choking as he struggled to contain his laughter.

Ronon's grin was all too smug, and he sighed.

Teyla's eyes danced as she struggled not to laugh. Sipping her drink quietly, her lips betrayed her and a grin appeared, only to be wiped clean off her face again as she struggled to look serious. "So, you...tended to the Colonel's...injury?" She was struggling oh so hard not to laugh.

The leader of the people, Kaliene, nodded softly. "I do apologize for his being hurt. I saw to his treatment, myself. The injury is not severe, he will be fine in no time."

Elizabeth nodded, covering her mouth as she feined a yawn, only to blush as a hiccup of laughter escaped. "Yes..." She cleared her throat. "Well, it's not the first time something like this has happened to our people." She gave Rodney a pointed look.

"Hey! It's not like I _wanted_ to get shot in the ass with an arrow!" Looking to Ronon, he frowned. "You jinxed me!"

"I only agreed that it would hurt, _if you were stupid enough to get shot in the ass with an arrow._" He pointed out, his grin never once fading. "I never told you to go out and _get_ shot in the ass!"

"Yes, well, Now I'm not the only one." Rodney seemed to be taking all too much gratification in this.

"Ah, yes, but... I doubt the Colonel will want to be...reminded of this, later."

"Teyla, everytime the man sits down, he's gonna be reminded of this." Elizabeth put in, busting up into giggles. "At least, until he's fully healed."

"Talk about a pain in the ass." Rodney mumbled, and Elizabeth, Ronon and Teyla all lost control of their composure, laughing hysterically at the situation.

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I didn't do drugged up, loopy Sheppard because this was just the way it turned out. I just went with the flow and this appeared.

Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	11. Kirk Sheppard

**Disclaimer** : I don't own some of the scenes and quotes. Leila also belongs to **Debbie418uk2**.

**Note** : This is a tag to **Debbie418uk2**'s Rodney's Really Bad Days, chapter 17, 'The Kirk Factor'.

Early update since I won't be able to update for about a week. I'll reply to reviews in the next chapter. Hope you like this one.

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**(John's POV)**

"I am Leila."

She was cute. Tall, only maybe an inch shorter than myself. Her figure was slim but curvy and her skin darkly tanned. It matched nicely with her dark blonde hair and bright green eyes. She wore a simple light brown dress that had no straps or sleeves, and came to her upper thighs. It didn't even hit me that she was the priestess, or that there could have been repercussions, when she smiled at me, I couldn't help but smile back. She was pretty, she was nice, and the people seemed nice.

"Allow me to show you around?"

Still smiling, I nodded. "You can show me whatever you want." I was referring to the village, of course. Briefly, I wondered where Rodney was. He and I remained behind to finalize a trade deal of naquadah for basic medical supplies.

Like I said, the people seemed nice. What I left out was that they were fairly primitive. They used basic swords, daggers and bows for weapons.

With a nod of her own, she bushed her hair out of her face and turned, gesturing for me to follow her. I don't even think I was too aware of where we were. One minute we were in the middle of the town, relaxing and having a small celebration with the people, the next she was leading through different rows of huts.

I didn't even notice at first, as we got farther and farther away from the center of the town. Finally, she stopped, and turned.

"For a tour, I distinctly notice a lack of…well, showing things." I offered, feeling slightly unsure as she stepped up to me. Her face was much more serious then I'd expected and she stared at me quietly. "Uh, Leila?"

She stepped right up to me, tilting her head back a little and leaning in. Next thing I know, her lips are pressed firmly against mine.

_Wow. I _never_ expect this!_

I was a little bit surprised. Sure, I could tell she was flirting with me, but I wasn't expecting _this_ from her. However, before I even got past it and to kissing her back, I heard a _male_, outraged cry.

"Leila!"

Jumping away from her, I felt my face heat up and turned, eyes widening as they landed on a small group of men, all of whom were glaring at me. Some carried torches, most carried swords and bows, and very slowly, one by one, they all began advancing on us.

Frowning a moment, I turned my head and saw Leila taking a step back. The look on her face was shock, but quickly turned to fear as she stepped towards the man who seemed to lead them. He was big, muscular, had long black hair and deep brown eyes. He also wore nothing but a pair of leather breeches. And he was also too young to be her father, from what I guessed.

"Torek, don't."

"He had his hands on you!"

Biting my lip, I refrained from correcting him and saying that it wasn't my _hands_ on her. "Uh, look-"

"Silence! You come here, daring to defile Leila?!" Raising a sword, he advanced menacingly. "For that you will pay!"

Seeing him and the other men coming in my direction, I took a deep breath and turned, running for my life. _Crap!_ I had no idea where I was going. I dodged between houses trying to ignore the confused looks people gave me as I brushed past them. I heard the men behind me, screaming of the violation of what I'd done, and picked up the pace, finding the square and dashing through it. As I ran down the road, my mind flashed back to Rodney and I wondered where he was.

_I hope he doesn't end up caught by them and punished for this._

Finally, it got darker and I knew I was out of the city. I still could hear them following me, and soon saw Rodney ahead of me. He was sitting and eating a plate of food, but as I approached, he quickly stood up.

He called to me, and I responded, telling him to run, but Rodney stood there, obviously not understanding so I grabbed his arm and dragged him along behind me. We ran, he accused me, and I tried to ignored him. Of course, he knew it was Leila. I kept my answers vague. I wasn't about to admit he had a point.

I dragged him down the path and towards a hidden cave. I mentioned it to him, and he asked me how I knew. "Never mind…here!" I cleared some bushes out of the way, helping Rodney as he stumbled. I wasn't about to tell him that I'd learned a few things from a few of the younger girls.

That was perfectly innocent, by the way. They were a little _too_ young for me.

As we hid in the cave, I rearranged the bushes quickly over the entrance and sat back and watched silently as the villagers rushed past. After a few moment, I let out the breath I was holding and turned to Rodney. "Well, that was close." Seeing Rodney on his knees, I jumped forward as he tilted sideways, seeing the arrow sticking out of his back, just to the right of his spine. _Oh, crap!_ "Rodney!"

**(Normal POV)**

The arrow didn't look so bad, but it definitely must have done a lot of damage. John and Rodney spoke as they tried to relax. Rodney, good old Rodney, made his usual comments, and even brought up how Elizabeth would be less than impressed. John couldn't help his wince, knowing McKay was all too right.

Finally, after a while, neither of them were sure exactly how long, they took a risk and left the cave, moving slowly as Rodney was getting weaker from the injury. Sure, John had snapped the arrow shaft shortly after helping Rodney to the ground, in the cave, but the head was still buried deep in the scientist's body. There was no way to tell how serious it was, or if an organ had been punctured.

It took a little while, but they made it to the edge of the forest, that led to the small clearing the Stargate was situated in. Unfortunately, as Rodney has earlier suggested, there was a group of the natives camping just at the base of it.

_Damn!_ Frowning deeply. John looked out over the small camp. There were only a few people there, but with Rodney as badly injured as he was, there was no way John could handle them all, alone. Hearing Rodney ask 'now what?", John's eyes narrowed as he thought. "Look, it's me they're really after. So how about I lure them away from the gate, you dial home, and send back help?"

"By which time you'll be pegged out…in the sun" Rodney stared at John steadily. "That's a terrible idea."

_Good old Rodney, always has to state the obvious._ "Not necessarily. I could outrun them." Seeing that he was clearly unconvinced, John sighed. "Do you have a better idea?"

"Unfortunately, no…"

Pursing his lips, John turned back to the small camp, sizing up his options. "Wish Ronon was here." He suddenly turned back, realizing how that must have sounded. "No offence."

Rodney didn't look all that bothered. "None taken."

_Right. Arrow in his back. He's probably wishing the same thing. _"He's never unarmed." And right now, staying here with no weapons seemed like a very stupid decision.

John basically outlined his plan to Rodney. Albeit, it wasn't much of a plan, but it was better than nothing. Getting a little ways away from Rodney, John took a deep breath before dashing out. Breaking cover, he ran a little ways towards the camp, making sure to get someone's attention before darting off in a random other direction. He didn't pay much attention to where he was going, as he ran back into the cover of the trees, darting between them, as long as he got the natives away from the gate.

He heard 'thunk's against trees, and knew they were firing at him. "Crap!" Dodging some more, he jumped over a fallen log, and leapt to the left, ducking behind a tree, and jumping a little as another 'thunk' was heard less then a second after he got behind the tree. _Way too close!_

Running more through the woods, John began to wonder if Rodney had made it through the gate. Then, all of a sudden, he heard a sound, and stopping cold, he spun around, only to be met with a sharp pain in the side of his head, followed by a pain in his side, and one in his stomach that took his breath away. Dropping quickly, he heard distant voices as the darkness came over him, and prayed Rodney was safe.

**(John's POV)**

"Look, it was all a big misunderstanding!" Glaring at the locked door, I sighed and turned, frowning as I looked around. The room was simple, no beds, no tables or chairs, no water sources, nothing. Obviously, it had to be a prison. I felt like crap, and guessed they must have had a ball kicking me around. They had come back shortly after I woke up, and kicked me around a little more.

I don't think it was serious, but it hurt when I breathed, and my head ached. I had bruises, and cuts all over.

Rodney was laying on the ground in a heap, obviously having been thrown there, and it took me a moment to carefully set him up so that there wasn't much pressure on his back, and I took a look at his wounds, carefully rewrapping his back injury, which, by now, was showing signs of possible infection.

Also, he was feverish, and his breathing seemed a little bit labored.

After about an hour of struggling in vain to find a way out, I heard a groan, and watched as he raised his arm to his head. His face was pale and he winced as he slowly opened his eyes. Seeing the glazed look in them, I struggled not to wince.

"About time you woke up. I was getting worried." I figured if I kept it light, maybe I could keep him from being too worried.

I watched as he struggled to sit up, and retched, his face twisted in agony. He gasped, a wince crossing his features as he managed to get up to his elbows, but was shaking horribly. We spoke quietly, trying to asses our situation, and though I'd never admit it, I felt better to have him there with me. Hell, even his sarcastic comments were a bit of a relief.

"I'll just quietly die now."

_You? Do something 'quietly'?_ Raising an eyebrow, I stayed quiet. Now really wasn't the time to point anything out.

"Maybe if you apologized…"

"I tried, Rodney. They weren't in the mood to listen-Ronon?" Staring up at the window, I blinked in shock, not really knowing what to say, as the familiar dreadlocks came into view. Of course, he had his usual grin and made a comment. I really wasn't paying too much attention, but I did mutter something in reply. Ronon mentioned my execution, and I think Rodney sounded almost disappointed when thre was no news on what they planned with him, and told me he'd be back before disappearing. He said he'd be back after dark. As he disappeared, I turned back to Rodney.

"What's he gonna do?"

I shrugged and sighed. "Knowing Ronon, he's probably gonna blow something up…"

Oh, how right I was! Not long after dark, Ronon came back and after handing me a stunner, told us to stand away from the wall. Hefting Rodney up, as he could barely stay awake, let alone stand, I carried him to the farthest point and placed myself between him and the wall before giving Ronon a thumbs up. Briefly, I prayed he wouldn't use too much C4, because otherwise he'd just end up saving the natives the trouble of an execution.

I was beyond exhausted at this point. We'd been gone for well over 24 hours, and I hadn't eaten or gotten any sleep.

You know, it was funny how at this point, I began to wonder why Leila hadn't explained things to the man who attacked us. Then again, there were many possible reasons, I guess.

Ronon blew out the wall, and with his and Teyla's help we managed to get Rodney to the cloaked jumper they'd brought. With little to no trouble, we got back through the gate and Rodney was taken immediately to the infirmary.

**(A Few days Later)**

I'd visited Rodney a few times, we all had. It was nice to know he was going to be alright. Heading to the lunch room, I ignored the stares I got as I carefully handled the warm plate in my hands. Seeing him sitting alone, with a large mug of coffee in his hands, I walked over, feeling bad.

I hadn't been too injured. Slightly bruised ribs, a slight concussion, a massive headache that was going to linger for a while, and a few cuts and scraps. Rodney's injury had been a lot more serious.

What happened between me and Leila should never have gotten Rodney so badly injured. I still felt bad about it.

Placing the plate down in front of him, I watched as he looked down to it, took a deep breath and smiled.

"Heard you'd escaped from the infirmary. Thought I'd come with a peace offering." Sitting down next to him, I offered him a small smile.

He nodded and smiled a little more before turning serious. He asked about the renegotiations, and I tried not to wince, recalling the little 'chat' I had with Elizabeth, Or rather, her calling me on how stupid and careless I'd been, and me listening quietly, not daring to speak back, since it was obvious she was trying to stay calm and not yell at me. We spoke a little longer, and I filled him in on what happened. Eventually, Teyla and Ronon joined us, the female Athosian placing a cup of blue jello down in front of him.

They sat next to us, and Rodney inadvertently sat back, before wincing. I winced, too, seeing what was coming but not being able to warn him before it was too late. He mentioned hating arrows, and I fought the grin, knowing we had the ammo we needed to turn this discussion lighter.

"At least you can sit with this one." Ronon put in with his trademark smirk, also picking up on the opening.

We all began laughing as Rodney stepped right up to it, and I relaxed, feeling a little better.

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Hope you like it.

Thank you **Debbie** for allowing me to do tags to your story :)

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	12. Hell Hath No Fury

**Debbie418uk2** - LOL Oh yeah, I never thought of that. I'll have to keep it in mind. I finished 'Rodney's Revenge' now I'm just waiting to post it (the next update ;) ) I'm glad you liked it. I've got more coming and more ideas hitting me all the time. :) At least 14 more chapters written and ready to post already, and about 4 more in the works, and ideas for about 6 more on the sidelines. LOL.

**Godsdaughter77** - I do like to involve them now and then, just for a bit of a change.

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**(Off World, John's POV)**

_Hell hath no fury..._

Frowning from my position behind a pile of thick, odd-looking bushes with purple leaves, I raised the binoculars to my eyes and looked down over the village before me. From here, it looked like your average off world village. Stone and wooden huts, a few stalls for people to market, some women dancing in the square, around a sparkling fountain.

"I'm gonna have Lorne's hide for this." I muttered as I glanced to Ronon and Teyla. "Who brings our base commander to a village we haven't even scouted yet? 'The people _seem_ nice'. 'They're really friendly'."

"John, I am certain they seemed that way at the time." Teyla admonished quietly.

I nodded, allowing that. "He still didn't do a thorough job scouting." Staring through the binoculars, I checked through the town, finding Lorne and his men easily enough, standing at the edge of the square, obviously enjoying themselves. "Ok, I think we can go with probably drugged or under some alien influence."

I tried to find out what the Major was looking at, and carefully scanned the square for signs of Elizabeth. "The doc's ready back at the jumper with Rodney?"

Ronon nodded, having backtracked to check on their progress. "Yeah, he's got the jumper cloaked, thanks to McKay, and he's got the sedatives ready."

"Good. I have a feeling we're gonna need them." Pulling the binoculars away from my face, I smiled grimly. "Think you can grab them quickly?"

He nodded and flashed a toothy grin before turning and darting silently through the woods, disappearing in seconds.

Turning to Teyla, I raised an eyebrow. "He's really gotta teach me how to do that." I put in before turning back to the village. "I've located Lorne and his men. No sign of Elizabeth yet." Looking over the square one final time, it hit me what he was looking at. "No sign of Elizabeth, and Lorne's ogling a local dance-oh." I felt my eyes widen. "Oh. My. God."

"John? Is something the matter?" Teyla was at my side, frowning as she gently touched my arm.

"I finally found Elizabeth." I cleared my throat, trying to ignore how strained my voice had come out. "Uh, she was there, all along." I felt kind of bad, like a peeping tom, but at the same time I couldn't tear my eyes away. "Damn! She can dance!"

Dressed in an outfit that resembled an all leather, many slitted version of a belly dancer's outfit, Elizabeth twirled and whirled with the best of them, her hips swaying to a music only the dancers seemed to hear. She had a smile, and several beads braided into her hair. All in all, she was stunning.

"Elizabeth is dancing?"

"Yeah." I swallowed heavily as Lorne grinned and nodded at her.

Several men approached her, but she shook her head and they backed off. I watched as a few of the girls were also approached, and when they nodded, the men escorted them off, though they weren't even clear of the square before I realized _why_ they were being escorted off.

"Damn it!" Getting up, I pocketed my binoculars and grabbed my P90.

"John?"

I looked at Teyla a moment. "They're not just dancers, they're earth's equivalent to..." I paused, realizing she wouldn't understand. "Um, the men who approach her, if she nods the tiniest bit to one of them, they'll think she's allowing them to... Uh..." Shaking my head, I frowned. "She's in danger, ok?"

Nodding, Teyla grabbed her P90 and checked it before we raced off

It didn't take us long, and I quickly reached Elizabeth's side. Glancing to Lorne, I watched as a dancer approached _him_ and held out her hand. He seemed to stare at it a moment, as if struggling with himself, before reaching out and taking it. Gesturing for Teyla to follow him, I turned to find Elizabeth staring at me with a downright naughty smile.

"Uh, hi." Wow, was it me, or did it just get ten times hotter?

She looked about to nod, but instead raised an eyebrow, still keeping a beat to the music only she could hear.

"Listen, Elizabeth... How about you come with me, ok?"

Stopping, she glanced at me a long moment and I had the oddest feeling she was eyeing me up like a piece of meat. Her eyes scanned my body, seemingly ignoring the weapons I was carrying and that naughty smile was back.

"Alright." She slowly and carefully nodded, before holding out her hand.

Feeling my face heat up, I cleared my throat before reaching out and taking her hand. I was just moving to head back to the forest, when I felt her tug me in another direction. Turning around, I saw her look melt to one of confusion.

"Is something wrong? The rooms are this way."

"The rooms?" Damn! Why did my voice squeak at all the wrong times. Swallowing heavily, I tried not to look at her scantily clad body. "Um, I think you have the wrong idea."

Now her look hardened and she pulled me harder. "Well, I don't. Come. Let's go."

Shaking my head, I pulled my hand away. "Whoa! Wait a minute, I'm not going to any 'room' with you!" Was it me, or did that just come out really badly?

Apparently it came out really badly. As her eyes narrowed, Elizabeth whipped her hand away and quickly reached down to her leg, where I now noticed a knife tied to a band around her thigh.

Her very _nice_ thigh.

_Ok, not now, John. Focus!_ Slipping my eyes up to her face, I almost took a step back as she glared hatefully at me.

"You dare to turn me down? Here, no man turns a woman down!"

"Uh, turn you down?" Then I could really get used to this place, once we get passed all the drugs, or parasites, or whatever the hell was wrong with my people. "Elizabeth, calm down." I raised my hand.

Stepping forward quickly, she slashed at me and I had to duck to avoid getting my throat slit. "Do _not_ tell me to calm down!"

"Ok, ok." Backing off quickly, I slipped off my P90 and tack vest, knowing that in a hand to hand fight, Elizabeth had some major skills and I'd need all the flexibility and speed I could get. "Listen, I just want to take you home."

She dropped down and swayed again, but this one as more of a battle sway, as if she was deciding which way to lunge. After a moment, she launched herself forward and slashed at me again.

_Here I come, trying to save her ass. Now it's _my_ ass I need to worry about._

Ducking again, I grabbed her free arm, and yelped as she cut me deeply with the knife, without even breaking off her movements. I couldn't help but drop her arm again. Right about now, I wished I had some form of weapon, but I didn't want to risk hurting her. "I'm just trying to help you!"

"Like I believe that!" she hissed, lunging forward.

It went on like that for a little while, actually. I got the deep gash in my arm, and a few more minor cuts and scrapes, and she was still going strong. Suddenly, she lunged again, and I tried to duck, as my strategy seemed to have been working so far. Only this time she seemed to be waiting for it, and she lashed out in a way I hadn't expected.

Crying out in agony, I gripped the knife handle, pushing her away from me, and staggered back, stumbling and yelling in pain as agony shot through my body. Staring down, I saw the blood coating the handle of the knife in my upper thigh, rolling down my leg and staining the leg of my pants, and stared incredulously at how close it was to my...

"John!"

_Oh, there's Rodney._

"Colonel! Oh, mercy!"

_...And Carson_. Good I had a feeling I was going to need a doctor right about now. Hearing Lorne's voice shouting angrily, I sighed, knowing Teyla was back, and Ronon was here, too. _Oh great. Just what I needed. An even bigger audience._

I must have been in shock. Despite the blood rolling down my leg, and the agony running through my body, I was more aware of what was happening around me. I was staring at the knife in my thigh, and thought to myself about how only moments eariler, I'd thought Elizabeth might have been in danger.

There was the sound of an air gun, and I glanced up, seeing Elizabeth's eyes roll back in her head as a dart stuck from her neck. I wanted to catch her, as she fell, but luckily, Ronon was there to do that for me.

At the moment, I didn't think I could have held her up if I wanted to, anyways.

"Oh my god." Rodney came racing over, looking torn between laughing and being utterly mortified for my sake. Grabbing my arm, he swung it over his shoulder.

"Don't. Say. A word." I managed to grind out from between my teeth, glaring at him as I limped along behind him.

"Here, Colonel." Carson stuck a needle in my arm, and I think I almost cried as the burning agony faded from parts of my body south of the border. "We'd better get you back to Atlantis and get that checked out." He, too, gave a torn look, but strangely managed to do a pretty good job at looking sympathetic, despite the laughter in his eyes.

Obviously it couldn't have been that bad, if they were trying not to _laugh_.

I nodded, tears in my eyes, more from the sense that the blade had come all too close to a certain part of me, than anything else.

**(Atlantis)**

"Ohhhhh." Elizabeth's eyes slowly opened as she groaned. "What happened?"

"You were drugged." I put in, in a low voice, from my bed next to her. Shifting a little, I winced and decided that comfort be damned, I wasn't going to move for a while. "And you danced, and some guys propositioned you..." I was trying to recall what Lorne had said, once the drugs wore off from his system. "And you turned them down."

Her eyes were wide with horror. "And what happened to you?" She slowly sat up and winced.

Gazing at her steadily, I wanted to be light about it. I had to be honest, I could have just said I got stabbed. Then again, either way, I was sure Carson was going to put all of this in his report, as was Rodney, once he stopped laughing.

Elizabeth's eyes suddenly widened and she glanced low on me before her eyes shot back up.

_Oh, never mind. I think she just remembered. _"We got into a little fight." I stated in as calm a tone as I could manage.

Opening her mouth a moment, she promptly closed it again. "I stabbed you. I mean, I was trying to stab you..." She made a gesture, her face turning a deep red. "And... I stabbed you! Oh my god!"

I nodded. "Yes. I was trying to save your dignity, and you were trying to cut mine off." I put in, determined to ignore the heat in my face. "You were drugged."

"Are you alright??"

"A few stitches, not allowed on duty for a while..." _No 'excitement'._ I shrugged. "Lots of bed rest, and several examinations... Not as bad as I'd thought, but I've been better."

Elizabeth's face showed such horror as she slid down in her bed and covered her face with her hands, I swore the look would never fade. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, John!"

"Look, if we can just promise to never mention this again, and maybe find a way to leave it _out_ of our reports to the SGC, we can forget about it." I stated as I pressed the button to call Carson.

She kept apologizing, however, and after getting Carson to come over, I quietly asked him if he had anymore of the sedative. He mentioned it wasn't safe to give Elizabeth any more until the stuff in her system worked it's way out.

I had to point out, it was for me.

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	13. Alien Allergies

**Disclaimer** : I do not own SGA, or it would never have ended. Also, I don't own this scene, or some of the quotes. Dr. Brayton belongs to **Debbie418uk2**.

**Note** : This is a tag to **Debbie418uk2**'s Rodney's Really Bad Days, chapter 10, 'Katie's Gift'.

**Debbie418uk2** - A little closer and screw the arrow in the ass jokes. :S LOL Yeah, I loved the line about saving her dignity as she was trying to cut his off.

**Jasminesmommy** - I'm hoping to keep this series going for a while, so keep tuned. I'm glad you like it so far. :) Oh, trust me, I have yet another chapter where being stuck with Harmony ended up with John getting hurt. Don't you think the ancients tend to leave a lot of interesting machines behind? With so many uses, and so many ways for them to go wrong, we've got endless fuel for our stories!

As for 'cutting it close', I'd say that was too close for comfort. O.o

Thank you for your comments, and sticking with me. Tons yet to come :) Enjoy the next update.

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**(John's POV)**

I hadn't seen the others much all day. Ronon and Teyla were probably off doing their own things, but I'd expected to run into Rodney at least once. Nope. Nothing. He wasn't in the mess hall when I went to check, and I didn't dare enter his lab.

He seemed his usual irritable self, from what I was hearing, but today I just didn't feel like dealing with that. I had a touch of a headache, that seemed to refuse to go away, and I just wanted to lie down and relax.

You know, it's funny. I must have passed at least three people who all seemed to have headaches of their own, and I wondered if something was going around. _Probably Kavanaugh with another one of his long-winded rants._ I thought with a smirk.

Captain Merison was massaging her temples, as she walked by, and barely aknowledged me. Lieutenant Harold was frowning, a pained look on his face as he stood with Cadet Freeman, and the said Freeman brushed his hand across his forehead with a wince.

Wincing, myself, I sighed and carried on. Stopping by the lab, I spoke to Zelenka, wondering where Rodney was. I found out almost right away that he was in the infirmary, and for a brief moment, was worried. Rodney didn't usually go to the infirmary voluntarily, unless something was really wrong.

"He had a headache." Radek informed me with a shrug. "Went to Carson for something."

A _headache_ sent Rodney to the infirmary?! Wow, must have been a bad one. "He really needs to learn the meaning of the word 'sleep'." I muttered with a frown.

Now Radek pointed at me. "Ah, but he said he did sleep last night."

"Wow, ok." Blinking a moment, I looked around. There was a little cactus with a pink flower sitting in the middle of the table. "Nice, uh, flower?"

Turning, Radek smiled and nodded. "Yes, it is. Katie brought a bunch by. I believe she was handing them out."

Nodding again, I walked over to it and checked it out. Tiny, spiney, with a cute little flower sitting squarely on top of it, and not even a bud anywhere else. "Cute." Sitting down, I rubbed my forehead and sighed again, laying my head down on the table. "I think I'll just wait here for Rodney. I'm tired of walking around, and he's gonna come back, anyways." It's a lab. It would have to be the end of the world to keep Rodney from coming back. Or, the end of Atlantis, anyways.

"Be my guest." Radek nodded and turned to the door. "Ah, do you need this light on?"

Lifting my head, I looked over to where he was gesturing before looking around the room. It was sparsely decorated, with only a table with laptops in the center, and not one obstacle between me and the door. There was no chance of me tripping over anything on my way out of the room. "Nope, you can go ahead and turn it off." _I might as well try and get a little nap in._

With a final nod, Zelenka swiped his hand over the panel and turned out the lights before leaving the room.

Laying my head back down, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, relaxing instantly.

_Hm, four people, besides me, with a headache today. I think we're all just working too hard, maybe I should talk to Elizabeth about vacations or morale boosting off days. I probably just slept wrong, or didn't get enough sleep. I'll probably feel better after a nap._

Drifting off to sleep, I barely even registered the sweet smell that hit my nose.

**(Gate Room)**

Adjusting my tac vest, I thought that Elizabeth must have been sending us on this mission as a sort of revenge. I was tired, my headache was worse than before, and I was _sure_ she had a camera in the room. Well, ok, that last one was obvious. Of course she had a camera in the room, but in this case, I was sure she spied on me, or something.

_She saw me napping._ That explained it all. 'John was lazing about, therefor John needs a mission', right? Yeah, trust me, I know my thoughts are a little...paranoid. _Sleep deprivation does strange things to people._

Apparently a survey team had found something classified as 'too big to bring back through the gate' so instead of bringing the discovery to us, we were going to the discovery.

Seeing Rodney walk over with a stronger frown than usual, I raised an eyebrow, wondering what was eating him. He approached with no greeting, and we set off through the gate.

Dr. Brayton met us on the other side, and immediately joined us, chattering away about the new discovery. I nodded every now and then, fully aware he was talking to Rodney, and listened half heartedly as he described a locked door, he was sure held some sort of important object or information behind it. I also noticed that Rodney didn't really seem to be paying attention, and figured it was because it was dealing with archaeology, and Rodney was more into science, like technology science. Stuff that deals with machines and stuff.

"Don't you agree?" Brayton finally asked, practically hovering in mid air, through all of his excitement.

Rodney finally turned to him and I couldn't hide my smile, seeing the utter irritation in his eyes. "Doctor..." I was a little taken back by how unusually cold his voice was, but thought he was just in a bad mood.

I even noticed Rono nand Teyla raising their eyebrows in surprise.

"I regard archaeology with the same level of enthusiasm as I have for cleaning out the cat litter box" Brayton's face showed shock and disappointment, and I bit the insides of my lips to keep my smirk from reforming. "And usually with the same result."

Losing the battle, I walked on ahead, keeping my back to the others as the broad smirk covered my face. I heard them talking more, but it pushed to the back of my mind as I realized that I was feeling even worse than before. Now, added to the headache-turned-migraine, I was also feeling slightly sick to my stomach. It was probably something I ate, or some sort of flu.

Finally we made it to where an obelisk stood next to a large door, and I stood back as Dr Brayton tried to explain it to Rodney, only to be cut off. Seeing McKay's scientistic mode kick in, I sighed and looked around, locating a rock to sit on. I had a feeling this was going to take a while.

With my back resting against a tree, I relaxed in the cool shade. The others were engrossed in their works, and I was left to at least _some_ peace and quiet. I was just drifting off to sleep when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"John?"

Opening my eyes, I squinted a little, almost cursing the migrain I had. Turning my head, I saw Teyla looking at me in worry, and holding out a small, clean cloth. Frowning for a moment, I just looked at it and almost jumped when she reached forward, placing it just under my nose.

"You are bleeding."

Feeling my eyes widen, I put my hand in place of hers and slowly pulled the cloth back to see a large red stain on it. Placing it back, my eyes narrowed. "I didn't even notice. Thanks." A migrain, sick stomach and now a nose bleed? Something was definitely going on and I made a mental note to talk to Carson about it when we got back.

Not surprisingly, it took Rodney about two hours to figure out the locking mechanism, and I sighed when he exited the room with a fully disappointed look on his face. He muttered about scrolls and what a waste of time this all was, as he led us all back to the gate.

Once we got back to Atlantis, I bid the others farewell and headed straight to the infirmary. My nose bleed had stopped, and I was feeling slightly better, but I wanted to have Carson check me out, just to be safe.

"Aye, lad. What can I do for you?"

Seeing Carson just outside the doors to the infirmary, I shrugged. "I haven't been feeling too good. Thought I'd come see if there was anything you could do."

Nodding, he walked over and stuck his hands under my chin, tilting my head back. "What are your symptoms?"

"Headache, nausea and nose bleed."

He frowned and stepped back. "I've had several complaints about the same symptoms today." Turning back to the infirmary, he gestured for me to follow him. "At least three people have come in, complaining about headaches, and two of them came back a few hours after I treated them, complaining about nose bleed and nausea. Have you eaten anything unusual? Drank?"

"Just the usual cafeteria stuff." I replied with a shrug. "Doc, I've actually been feeling better, since about an hour ago."

Grabbing some pills from his desk, he turned back to me. "Well, it all seems to be symptoms of some sort of allergine, that I can tell. Here. Take these. They'll make you sleepy, so go grab a nap while you're at it."

Nodding, I took the pills, thanked him, and went to my quarters. Once there, I took off my shirt, took the pills, and laid down in my bed, relaxing as the warm sun filtered through my window. Before I even knew it, I was out like a light.

**(Mess Hall)**

When I woke up, I felt a lot better. The only symptom left was the headache, and it was very minor and happily tolerable to what I was feeling before. My stomach grumbled, and I sat up, grabbing my shirt and pulling it back on as I got out of bed. Checking the clock, I noticed it was about lunch time and I made my way to the mess hall for lunch.

Walking into the room, I noticed Rodney sitting at a table. He was slumped over with his head in his hands, and a full tray of food sitting in front of him, along with an obviously untouched cup of coffee. For Rodney, that was really weird.

Worried, I went over and sat down next to him, noticing how pale he was as he slowly lifted his head and gave me a weak half smile in greeting. Trying to act cheerful, I nodded to him. "Hey."

"Hi." He replied surprisingly softly.

Frowning, I was getting even more worried. "You look like crap."

He raised an eyebrow. "Thank you."

_Smart ass to the end._ Resisting the urge to grin, I sighed. "Seriously. You need to go to the infirmary, and get some rest."

"I've been sleeping." He shook his head. "Hasn't helped."

Shaking my head, I got up and took his arm. "Come on. I'm taking you to Carson."

Quietly, we headed to the infirmary, and as we entered, I was taken back by how many people were in there. Before, there were three people in the room, and two of them were Carson and his nurse. Now, there were at least half a dozen people in the room, all patients. Some were gagging into bins, some holding their heads, and one had two puffs of kleenex stuffed up his nostrils.

"Oh god." Carson rushed over, looking harried. "Not you, too." He glanced at me, and I shrugged, letting him know silently that I felt better. Then, frowning at his choice of words, I raised an eyebrow. "'Too'?"

He explained about the headaches and other symptoms being displayed by many other people, and it had become a small epidemic. There was no way to know for sure what was causing it, and Rodney mentioned it was probably some sort of alien allergine. Carson gave him some medication, the same thing he'd given me before, and told Rodney to get some rest.

It was up to me to get him back to his room, and beside the tired little comments Rodney made now and then, it was a fairly simple task.

Unfortunately, not long after getting him off to sleep, I got a call from Elizabeth, informing me of the death of Brianna Perkins, one of the botanists that worked with Katie. Frowning, I discussed the situation with her, and found out it was linked to the illness that had been spreading around Atlantis.

It was me who ended up telling Rodney about it. I found him a few hours later, in the mess hall, actually eating this time, and informed him of what happened. Neither of us had known her, but to hear about a death...

How long had this illness been going around? A few days, at least. How many people were infect? At least a dozen. How many dead? One, so far. What was the cause? It took Carson until later that evening to figure it out.

**(Conference Room)**

Carson met myself, Elizabeth and Katie in the conference room, carrying a small cactus in a bell jar. It was tiny, spiney and had a cute little bright red flower on top. Frowning for a moment, I recognized it as the same type of cactus that was in the lab, where I'd taken my nap. By the way he was carrying it, I knew it had to be the culprit of this weird illness, and realized it was the reason I'd felt like crap.

I was already feeling like crap, probably because I'd fallen asleep waiting for Lieutenant Karen Murdoch in the greenhouse, which the lights had gone out shortly after I dozed off, the other day. There was one of those there. Then, I slept in the lab, with the light out, and one of those there.

Katie was obviously confused. The spines were harmless, she'd said. They'd tested them. Carson informed her that, in the dark, the flower itself was the weapon, giving off a toxic pollen into the air that was making people sick.

Katie's eyes had widened as she looked at all of us. "I gave Rodney one of those!"

Carson followed suit. "I gave him a sedative!"

Rushing out of the room, I made my way to Rodney's room and hit the chime. There was no response. Fearing the worst, I swiped my hand over the sensor and opened the door before rushing inside and turning on the light. "Rodney?" He was laid sprawled out on his bed. He looked to be sleeping, but he didn't wake up as I shook him. "Rodney!"

Carson appeared next to me and placed his fingers along the side of Rodney's neck. He seemed to concentrate a moment before sighing heavily. "He's breathing."

I was relieved. Standing back, I watched as a medical team rushed in, probably called on our run here, and helped Carson get Rodney onto a gurney, before rushing out. I barely even heard Carson's orders as he went with them, except for the last one, to get rid of that damned flower.

Turning to it, I saw the small cactus with the innocent looking bright blue flower on top.

**(Infirmary)**

"Well, Katie feels pretty bad about it, of course."

I nodded a little, sympathetically. I figured she would. Teyla mentioned she'd handed out about a dozen of them, so that's why so many people had been infected. Also, with some staying in public places, when the lights were turned out, multiple people ended up infected.

_And one dead._ I reminded myself grimly, as I watched the others chatting. I mentioned the memorial service, Elizabeth was going to hold for Brianna, and Rodney mentioned Katie asked him to go. "We'll come, too."

He nodded and looked at me. "Thanks. Katie will appreciate that."

After bidding Rodney farewell, we left the infirmary and headed to our rooms for some hopefuly uninterrupted rest. On the way, I found myself thinking about what happened. _Several really sick, one dead. I'll never look at allergies and simple plants again. It was close, but luckily Carson figured out the problem in time and got to Rodney._

_Imagine, one little plant caused all this..._

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Hope you liked it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	14. Rodney's Revenge

**Debbie418uk2** - That was an adorable line, with the 'cat litter' comment. LOL. I'm glad you liked it. I can only hope to keep your story on track, but do my own POV differently enough that I'm hoping no one is thinking I am just copying. I think I was supposed to do this chapter as the last update, but forgot, so here it is.

**Jasminesmommy** - Oh, wow, I forgot she named a plant after him. I don't know, you'd have to ask **Debbie418uk2** who originally used the idea in her fiction, 'Rodney's Really Bad Days'. Wouldn't that be nasty though, to have a plant named after you, only to be nearly killed by it.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Thank you :) Well, I try to update about twice a week, depending on how much I get written and what spare time I have. I hope you continue to enjoy this.

OMG! There's a petition to sign to help save SGA! Check out the Gateworld site, under news, in the comments, or send me a message and I'll send you the link!! I'd post the link here, but they won't let me post links :( (No guarantees, but I seriously hope it works!!)

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**(John's POV)**

"Oh, come on. You owe me, remember?!"

"You kinda blew that when you lost the cat. Err...rat. Uh... The cub!"

"It doesn't matter, you already agreed to owing me one. Look, if you wanna go back on your word-"

"Hey! I'm just not into plant-sitting, ok?"

Rodney rushed ahead of me and stepped in my way, effectively stopping me cold in the hallway. "You owe me." He was glaring but I could see the sense of pleading. "Come on, what have you got against Katie?"

Frowning, I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms over my chest. _Oh, no. I'm not... _"This has nothing to do with her. I'm not plant-sitting for you to have a date. That's it."

"But then she'll be stuck in the lab. She hasn't had time off in ages. Look, how about this. You baby-err-plant-sit, and I'll owe _you _one." He clearly winced, already regretting those words. "Although if it comes to babysitting some alien cub again, I claim exception. No way. Not a chance!"

Thinking about it for a moment, I sighed. _I could use a nap, and with how quiet things usually are in the botany lab..._ "Alright, fine." Gesturing for him to lead the way, I followed him resignedly, trying to work out how this was going to go wrong.

And trust me, I _knew_ something was going to go wrong.

"So, what am I plant-sitting, anyways? A new variety of petunia? Some new kind of daffodil? Oh, maybe some nice roses? I know a girl who'd _love_-"

"No, no. Nothing like that." Rodney shook his head and raised a hand. "It's some new plant, that's all I know. But I did see it, and it looked like it had a really big bud on the end, ready to open at any time. It'll probably be..." He shrugged after a moment. "Pretty."

Clearly, Rodney wasn't a botanist, and he wasn't interested in the work, either. "Oh." Was I disappointed or relieved? That was a hard one to answer. "So watch a plant and record when it starts to bloom?"

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugged again as we entered the room. Looking around, his eyes lit up as he saw Katie tending to a large green plant with a single thick stem and large leaves.

Just as Rodney had stated, it did have a large bulb on the end of it, like an unbloomed flower, and I immediately began to feel a little better. It seemed harmless enough, right? Just a plant, and not even an open one at that.

"Katie! Look who I found!" Walking over, he stood next to her and gave her a bright grin. "The kind Colonel agreed to watch your, uh...new specimen for you."

Her face lit up and she nodded with a smile. "Good after noon, sir. Are you sure about this?"

Hesitating for a second, I looked at the flower, then to Rodney's face, and saw the pleading glare he was giving me. Sighing, I nodded and forced a grin to my face. "Oh, yeah. I'm sure. Go on, I'll, uh, plant-sit."

"You just have to record if it starts to bloom, ok?"

"Got it." I saw her open her mouth and raised an eyebrow. "Oh relax. Go enjoy your date." I tried not to grin as both Katie and Rodney began to blush. "I'll be fine and if worse comes to worse, I can always call you." I tapped my radio pointedly.

Nodding, Rodney grabbed Katie's hand and grinned at her. "Come on, there's something I want you to see." Waving at me as he rushed past, I could hear how distracted he was. "Thanks, John! I owe you one!"

_Nope, you owe me ten._ I thought as I gave a brief wave back and sat down at the table. Relaxing in the chair, I barely even noticed that only one other botanist was working, and I faintly heard her mumbling to herself about being off in a few moments. When I looked back at the plant, I took a few minutes to regard it closely. It stood in a large pot, a stem about two inches thick and six feet tall was adorned with the occasional huge leaf, which was trimmed in red. There were no other shoots, or buds, only the one on the end, and it was about the size of a watermelon.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Blinking out of my thoughts, I turned to the female botanist, a pretty girl, and smiled.

Smiling back shyly, she ducked her head. "I'm off now, and I was wondering if I should call a replacement in, so you're not alone?"

Raising an eyebrow, I looked around and grinned. "Afraid some plants are gonna eat me?"

Now she blushed. "No, sir! I just meant, I mean... I figured you'd want some company." She was really bad at covering up.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks, but I'm good. I'm only plant-sitting this, uh...thing for a few hours." Gesturing to the flower, I watched as her face screwed up in confusion before she shrugged. Funnily, the plant didn't seem to fascinate her the same way it did Katie. "I'll be fine."

With a nod, she turned and left, leaving me to my thoughts.

I'm not sure how long she was gone and I was alone, but I did notice that besides being boring, the room seemed to get hotter. At first, I thought it was just me. Then it became too noticeable for me to ignore. Checking out the small computer pad in front of me, I saw that the temperature had increased by about ten degrees since I entered. _It must have started before she left, and no one noticed._ As I checked back logs, I noticed no other signs of this happening and frowned as I logged it into the pad.

_It's probably nothing, but the last thing I need is Rodney chewing my ass out for not logging it in._ I thought as I grit my teeth and sighed. Watching the pad, I noticed the temperature go up another degree, and felt my eyes narrow. I set a simple logging procedure to watch the temperature as I returned to watching the plant.

I mean, after all, this could be normal for the botany lab. With so many alien plants, for all I knew, they increased the temperature like this now and then to see what best suited the plants. Nothing to interrupt McKay's date about. If I did, I'd never hear the end of it.

It must have been about an hour or so when I snapped back from drifting off. I must have been dozing for a while, but the heat had grown to uncomfortable levels. I could feel the sweat beading across my forehead and upper lip, and my body was too hot to get comfortable. Sitting up straight, I made to look at the pad when I accidentally glanced at the flower.

The bulb was open a little. Just a tiny bit, but I cursed as I realized I had no idea when it happened.

I checked the time quickly and realized I'd been out for about an hour. Mopping the sweat off my forehead, I entered the log and set it for about half an hour earlier, _then_ I checked the heat levels.

About another ten degrees.

"This is too weird." Tapping my radio, I sighed quietly realizing there was only one botanist I knew by name, that I could ask what was going on. "Dr. Brown, this is Colonel Sheppard. Do you read?" Rodney was going to have my ass, but something didn't seem right about this. "Dr. Brown?"

Nothing. Now I _knew_ something wasn't right.

Getting up, I took a step back, and fell flat on my ass. "Hey! What the hell?!" There were vines all over the ground, and digging into a small vent on the floor. Following them, I found they had burst out of the bottom of the table, from the said plant I'd been baby sitting.

Speaking of the plant. I heard a rustling, and looked up. The bud had opened a little more, and I could make out a pale yellowed white between the green covers. I thought it was the flower peeking out, but watching as it opened more, I felt my blood run cold and eyes widen when I realized I couldn't have been farther from the truth.

**(Katie and Rodney, Normal POV)**

"This is lovely." Smiling, Katie blushed as Rodney looked at her with his bright blue eyes and gave a big grin. She found it odd when people said he was so cold and mean. She'd never seen him like that. At least, he'd never been like that around her. "Thank you so much."

Nodding a little, Rodney ducked his head, blushing as well. "Ah, yes, well..." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "You deserve the best." Realizing what he'd just said, he felt his eyes widen and watched as her smile and blush grew. "That is to say.. I mean..."

"Rodney." Shaking her head, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Leaning back, she looked out over the balcony they sat on as she picked up a grape from her plate. "This is really amazing. You are so wonderful to me."

Suddenly, there was a beep in their radios, and Elizabeth's voice came over.

"Rodney, it's Elizabeth."

Frowning at the interruption, as well as confusion as to why she'd be contacting him, Rodney held up a finger to Katie and tapped his radio. "I'm here. What's going on?"

"Sorry to interrupt..."

He blushed and watched as Katie did the same. For a moment he wondered if Elizabeth knew he was on a date, and then if she knew, how many others knew.

"But I was wondering if you knew where John was. I haven't been able to contact him."

Katie's eyes widened. "Oh! The plant! I completely forgot he was watching it for me!" She hissed out, not wanting to interrupt the conversation. "We should head back." Clearly, she was upset about leaving so soon, but she had already began to get up, picking up a strawberry and smiling as she ate it.

A citrus-free picnic on one of the more quiet balconies, looking out over the vast blue ocean. It really was a nice idea.

"Um, right." Rodney was flustered and more than a little disappointed that the date had to come to a close. Thinking for a moment, he realized Elizabeth was waiting for an answer. "Uh, John was watching a plant for Katie in the botany lab." He informed her. "He should still be there." _He never contacted either of us to say he was leaving._

"Rodney, I've tried all kinds of frequencies to get a hold of him, and he's not answering his radio." Elizabeth sounded overly worried. "And to top it all off, we've got reports of climate control alterations all over Atlantis. The temperature's gone up about twenty three degrees in the botany lab, in the last two hours. Down in the jumper bay by fourteen degrees in the last hour. The lunchroom is almost cold enough to leave frozen goods out and _keep_ them frozen." There was an audible sigh.

"Wait, it went _up_ in the botany lab? That's weird. That's very weird." Getting up, Rodney exchanged a concerned look with Katie as he threw a large napkin on to the table. "And you can't get a hold of John? Ok, we're on our way to the lab now."

"We?"

"Um, right. Me and Katie. Erm, Katie Brown, the head botanist."

Katie smiled as Rodney got noticeably flustered and shook her head fondly as she picked up the last strawberry on her plate and held it.

"Alright. I'm sending Ronon and Teyla, just in case anything is wrong. Keep me informed."

"Understood. McKay out." Tapping his radio, he opened his mouth to say something to Katie, when she pushed the strawberry into his mouth and kissed his cheek again.

"We need to do this again." She stated with a brief smile. Turning, she walked briskly into the nearby door and waited for Rodney to collect his thoughts and follow her. "And thank you again. It was so amazing."

Swallowing the strawberry, Rodney smiled a little and nodded. They walked in relative silence as they made their way to the nearest transporter. Taking that to near the botany lab, Rodney almost jumped out of his skin when he rounded the corner and found Ronon and Teyla standing outside the closed doorway, both looking concerned. As they drew nearer, Rodney stopped and turned to Katie.

"Better let us go in. When Ronon looks like that..." He gestured to the glare across the said Satedan's face. "It _can't_ be good."

Katie bit her lip to keep from laughing at the statement and nodded, turning and heading off down the hall. She didn't like leaving him alone to this, who knew what was going on, on the other side of that door? But Rodney was Rodney. He had Ronon and Teyla, and usually John to protect him. Not to mention he wasn't the head of the science department for no reason. She trusted him to know what he was doing.

Once she was out of sight, Rodney turned and rushed over to the others, stopping and staring blankly as Teyla held out his computer tablet.

"We cannot get into the door. Radek traced the errors in the climate controls to this lab. It seems some alien plant roots have gotten through the ventilation system, and is using the controls for it's benefit."

"And no CCTV so we can't see inside." Ronon ground out.

"Oh, great." Rolling his eyes, Rodney sighed and took the tablet._ Is it me, or is John always getting himself into trouble?_

**(John's POV)**

"You've _got _to be kidding me!" Rolling out of the way, I hissed in pain as I rolled over the welt that was growing on my upper arm. Looking at it, I frowned at the swollen redness and turned to glare at the raised vines. "So much for a harmless little plant."

Here I thought it would be a huge, gorgeous, _harmless_ flower, and that I'd be out of here soon, because it was opening. Never would I have imagined it was an alien version of a Venus fricken fly trap! Instead of the large pale, yellow-white flower I'd been expecting, I got large, pale, yellow-white, _razor sharp_ teeth! Not to mention, some of the roots in the floor turned out not to be _roots_, but _vines_ and they weren't all that happy to see me.

Not that I was happy to see them, either.

Getting up quickly, I dodged to the side as one of the vines shot out at me, and rolled across the floor, trying to ignore the uncomfortable sensation of rolling over thick vines. Feeling my hand land on something that moved, I looked down and felt my eyes widen as I grabbed my previously fallen handgun. "_Never_ leave home without one." I sighed out as I quickly checked it.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in my shoulder, and I couldn't help but cry out as my head whipped around. White teeth gleamed in the faint light of the lab, and I watched as the head of the plant dug in, the blood flowing freely down my shoulder. It began to pull back, and I cried out again, trying to move with it so it wouldn't pull.

Raising my gun, I fired, but a vine grabbed my arm just before I could pull the trigger, pulling my aim off and instead of hitting the head, I hit the pot the stem was in. The pot didn't shatter, but the bullet did manage to go through and into the body of the plant. The plant squealed and shook violently, letting go of my shoulder and arm as it thrashed around. Staggering back against the wall, I tried to remain standing and ignore the burning sensation running down my neck and arm.

Raising my gun, I tried to keep my aim steady as the plant trembled and shook wildly. "Would you hold still?!" I hissed as I had to jump out of the way of another attack. Sliding into a corner, I edged to one side, not wanting to get trapped. Tapping my radio again, I winced and shook my head, already noticing a weird heat radiating from the bite wound. "McKay! Ronon! Teyla! Damn it, would _somebody_ answer?!"

"John!"

Jumping in surprise, I spun around and watched as the door to the lab slid open. _Well, that was fast. _Rodney, Teyla and Ronon all rushed in and stopped cold, staring in shock at the mess that was once the lab, me, the giant man-eating plant, and how it squealed as it was hit by the light.

"What the _hell_ is that thing?!" Rodney demanded loudly, almost hiding behind Ronon.

"It's the _plant_ you wanted me to baby sit!" I hissed back. Frowning, I shook my head as I was over come with a dizzy spell and stepped back, feeling my body press up against the wall.

"John?"

"Sheppard!"

Opening my eyes, I wondered why everyone was suddenly so tall. Then it hit me I must have slid down. I was kneeling on the floor, and the plant was staring at me. At least, I think it was. It was hard to tell since it didn't have any eyes. Struggling to stand up, I felt my chest tighten and took a deep breath, confused and worried when my legs didn't want to work.

Hearing a blaster, I looked up and focused on the battle at hand. Rodney was at the door, his computer tablet plugged into the wall sensor. _Wait. Wasn't the door open a moment ago?_ It was shut now. The room was again dark. He was typing away, and Teyla stood between him and the plant, aiming at the vines that came after them, taking them down with her P90.

Unfortunately, as quickly as she could take them down, more were coming in. Seeing a faint movement in the corner behind them, I felt my eyes widen.

"Teyla! Look out!"

She spun, but it was too late. The vine that had snuck up on them clipped her across the chest and sent her flying, leaving Rodney exposed, as Ronon was going for the main plant itself. He spun around, his blue eyes wide with horror as the vine bared down on him.

"Rodney!" Raising my gun, I watched too late as the vine pierced his side and he screamed. "Crap!" Aiming higher, I shot the vine and watched as it fell to the ground, taking Rodney with it.

He collapsed, screaming in agony as the vine twitched a little more. Crawling, as my legs were still numb, I made my way to his side and grabbed his arm, carefully turning him over.

"Crap!" I repeated, seeing the vine still in his side. I reached for one of Ronon's knives, that he'd dropped earlier, and was about to cut it out of Rodney when I swore I could hear Carson's voice.

"If you remove it, he could bleed to death."

Cursing quietly, I looked farther up the vine and cut it off about two inches from his body. "Look, I can't remove it. I risk you bleeding to death." Pausing for a moment, my mind recalled something. "Rodney..."

"Oh god, it hurts!" He panted, his eyes unbelievably wide. "Oh my god!"

"Rodney! Listen, can you get the door open?" My vision was beginning to swim, and I was starting to feel hot all over. "I think..." Swallowing heavily, I took a deep breath and forced myself to focus. "I think the plant is...weak...against the light."

I heard Ronon grunt and more blaster fire. Feeling something on my good shoulder, I spun and raised my gun, only to black out and feel a hand support my back.

"John! It's alright. It's me, Teyla." Her voice was soothing, and it was hard to open my eyes. "You must stay with us."

I heard more movement, and opened my eyes to find the form of Rodney moving. It had to be Rodney, it was too big and bulky to be Teyla, and she was holding me upright, so it had to be Rodney. Even if I couldn't see straight...

"Oh, god!" I heard him groan in pain and hiss as he moved. "Gotta...get the door. Right. The door."

Closing my eyes again, I felt strangely distant, but could hear P90 fire, and Teyla's voice. Still, I felt like I was floating. I was hot, but cold at the same time. As I drifted off, I heard shouts.

**(Later, Normal POV)**

"Will they be alright?"

"The Colonel had a severe infection from a fast-acting toxin the plant produced. It's a good thing you were able to destroy it and get him here in time." Carson frowned for a moment. "Though it's a _better_ thing you didn't destroy it completely, since I needed that sample to produce an anti-toxin. Rodney has a pierced lung, and had to have surgery. It'll be touch and go for a while, so I will need to keep a close eye on him, but barring complications, he should be fine."

Everyone heard a low groan and turned to find John waking up. Elizabeth sighed in relief, worried sick when he was reported to have stopped breathing on the way to the infirmary. Teyla smiled a little, just thankful that for the moment, both boys were alright. And Ronon... He was wondering how the _hell_ they could have so much trouble against a _plant_.

"Wow, did anyone get the number of the hive ship that hit me?"

Frowning a moment, Teyla cocked her head to the side. "Number? Hive ships do not have numbers, I believe. Colonel, you were not hit by a hive."

Elizabeth patted her shoulder and smirked. "It's a saying of sorts." Turning to John, she watched as he opened his eyes, and bit back the wince at how abnormally bright the greens were. "John?"

"Hey 'Liz'beth." He mumbled before yawning a little and stretching, wincing as it pulled at his shoulder. Opening his eyes again, he stared at everyone. "What's up?" His voice was clearer and more alert now. Slowly, his eyes widened. "Oh, crap! The plant! Rodney!" Bolting upright, he groaned and his eyes clamped shut as he teetered sideways.

Luckily, Carson had seen this coming and was at his side, grabbing his good shoulder and helping to steady him. "That's enough of that now. Take it easy, Colonel. Rodney is in bad shape, but stable for the moment. Given time, I'm fairly confident he'll be fine."

Nodding slowly, John didn't look too reassured, but turned to the others. "What happened?"

"Well, shortly after you fainted-"

"_Passed out._" John corrected Ronon with a warning look.

Grinning and not at all phased by the look, Ronon nodded. "After you _passed out_, Lorne and his team arrived, giving us the man power we needed to blow the hell out of that plant."

Staring for a moment, John nodded. "Right. So it's gone." He saw the others nod. "And everyone else is ok?" More nods. "Good. Ok, then." Looking around, he spotted Rodney on a ventilator, some distance away.

"I have him in a medically induced coma for the time being, to give him a bit more of a chance to heal."

"Yes, Rodney just managed to get the door open, weakening the plant and giving us the time needed to get you and him out of the room before Major Lorne's team arrived." Teyla put in with a smile.

Looking at the others, John nodded again before turning to look at Rodney again. He heard the others wishing him well and answered them, despite being distracted. He was aware of them leaving, though. Once they were gone, he slid down in the bed, glad for morphine, and relaxed. "You better survive." He mumbled quietly as Carson went to check on him. "You owe me _big_ time, buddy!"

Praying Rodney would be alright, John settled down and closed his eyes, giving in to the overwhelming urge to sleep.

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Hmm, slightly longer? There, a little Rodney bashing, along with John bashing.

Tag, **Debbie418uk2**, you're it. Think you can do anything with this one? LOL.

Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you.

Tenshi.


	15. Unexpected

The idea of the 'trap' I'm using in this one, is a modified version of one I saw in Xena, Warrior Princess, which I used to watch when I was really little.

This is kind of like a tag, or an AU of the Episode Harmony.

I can't reply to reviews in this chapter because I am at school, using a different computer, with a tempermental connection. I will reply to reviews in the next update. And don't worry, I'm not skipping. I'm ahead, so I have a free period ;) LOL

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**(John's POV)**

Ok, so when the sisters had mentioned taking care of their little sister, I thought they meant fresh, just out of her teens sister who'd be a total knock-out. Not, barely-in-her-teens-pain-in-the-ass-ironically-named Harmony.

Yeah, I knew she'd taken my power bar, and not Rodney. But did you really expect me to pass up a chance to annoy him? Rodney can be a pain, but he's never lied to me, or taken my food without my permission.

Not to mention, her little infatuation with me. Hey, I've got no problem with girls wanting to be all over me. _Little _girls, though? Uh, sorry, not my thing.

"Did I ever mention I hated baby sitting duty?"

So we saved 'Harmony', made her queen, although... I lit up that thing first, shouldn't that have made me Queen-err King? Well, either way, we finally got away from her royal brattiness, and took our jumper back to the gate, only to be shot down by Genii soldiers remaining on the planet.

"I could have sworn I've mentioned how much I hate baby sitting duty."

And here I am, trudging through the forest with irritable, annoying Rodney, listening to him complain about being picked on and how much he hated 'baby sitting' duty.

"And all because you thought the sisters were cute!"

"There was more than one, Rodney. And I really didn't hear you complaining earlier." I ground out as I glared at him.

He glared right back, indignant, as usual. "And you didn't even believe me! You took her side, every time!"

"I believed you." Staring at him, I showed him how sincere I was through my eyes, and watched his jaw drop. "Seriously, did you really expect me to call her a liar? A brat she might be, but a princess with the power to have us executed she definitely was. Dunno 'bout you, but I didn't want to piss her off."

"So you played her." He stated with an irritated sigh.

_And you._ I thought with a grin.

Suddenly, I stopped. There was the sound of a twig snapping, and that wasn't natural in these woods. Not that we've grown up in these woods, but we'd spent enough time for me to... Aww, to hell with it. Looking around, I raised my P90 and gestured for Rodney to be quiet, glaring at him pointedly when he opened his mouth to argue.

Another snap, a little further behind us. I spun around, trying to locate it.

Rodney stayed quiet, but he strapped his computer to his backpack and grabbed his hand gun, crouching down and shaking as he looked around wildly. 'Genii?' he mouthed, when he caught my eye.

I shrugged and frowned. 'Dunno' I mouthed back.

A strange bunny-like creature with wings jumped out of the bushes near us and took off with a startled squeak, and everything was quiet. Straightening up, I kept my eyes narrow, not knowing what to think. Well, beyond 'that was weird'.

"You think we're ok?"

I looked at Rodney. "Dunno. It's quiet." That's when it hit me. "_Too_ quiet. Not even any birds are chirping." Taking a few steps back, I gestured for Rodney to stay quiet and follow me.

We were walking silently through the woods. I don't know how long we went for, or how far we got. All I know was it was a big, sudden surprise when I heard the sound of something solid whipping through the air. Turning on my heels, I saw something moving behind Rodney, and before I could even register what it was, I'd pushed him down and out of the way.

I heard him land, just as a massive weight slammed into my chest with enough force that I heard and felt things breaking. The pain was excrutiating, and I felt weightless, only barely being able to register that I was flying through the air. Then, there was another slam, against my back, and a fresh pain as I slid to the ground.

**(Normal POV)**

Staring in shock at the scene before him, Rodney couldn't even make sense of what happened. One moment he was following behind Sheppard quietly, about to start complaining about the crouch being hard on his knees and back, when he tripped over somerthing and John spun around, lashing out.

He thought he was attacking him, at first, it came as such a shock. Then he felt the push, heard the air rustle past his ears, and as he looked up, John went flying through the air in a way that didn't look healthy.

Briefly, Rodney remembered thinking humans shouldn't be able to fly like that, or bend like that.

There were sickening cracks and thuds.

"Colonel! John!" Jumping up, Rodney promptly froze as something swung next to him. Looking over, he saw a large log swinging on rope vines. That's all it was, a log on vines. But it was more then enough. Turning, he watched John lying on the ground, not moving and obviously struggling to breathe. "Oh, no!"

He ran over, dodging a tree trunk and a sapling. Landing next to the downed Colonel, he saw where his back had impacted, on the tree.

"John! John..? Talk to me, damn it!" He reached out, intending to shake him, but stopped last moment, recalling that his back had impacted hard, and could have been injured. "Come on, talk to me..." Instead, he reached out, past John's neck, and ran his hands down the back of his neck, over his spine, as he tried to recall how to tell if he was injured. _Big bumps, um... Oh, come on! I'm a genius! I can do this!_ He fumbled along the spine, frowning and pinking as he made it to the lower back. _Um, oh, uh... Nothing._

He sure as hell hoped there was nothing. Carefully, Rodney turned John over, and he felt the blood flow out of his face at what he saw.

John was white as a sheet, struggling to breathe. Blood trickled out of his mouth, and down his chin as he choked and gasped, there was also blood coming from his nose. His eyes were wide, but unseeing and his body was totally limp.

"Co-John?" For once, Rodney was really at a loss for words. He reached out and gently ran a hand over John's chest, trying to tell if there were any injuries. He could immeidately feel the broken ribs, and John gave a choked, agonized cry, despite the gentleness of Rodney's touch. "Oh, god!" Looking around, Rodney fumbled for his radio, before realizing he'd have to dial the gate before he could contact Atlantis.

The people at the castle would be all too happy to help him, but John was seen as a coward there, so they wouldn't help him.

Realizing what he had to do, Rodney carefully pulled off his pack, Turning John very gently, he made him lay sideways, making it a little easier for him to breathe, and he packed his backpack against John's back, so he couldn't roll over. Rodney couldn't help the winces as John choked loudly and cried out in agony at the movements. Covering his C.O. with his jacket, Rodney stood and without wasting any time, made the fastest mad dash to the gate, he'd ever recalled making. He knew every moment counted, and as dangerous as it was for John to remain there, out in the open, he couldn't bring him with him.

_I have to do this. I can do this. I need to do this. _He chanted mentally as he saw the gate. _Oh god, I can't do this! I _have_ to do this!!_ It seemed far too long, to get there, but without waiting, he dialed and sent his IDC through.

**(Atlantis)**

"We have an unscheduled off world activation!" Chuck looked through the information screening before him as Elizabeth ran into the control room. Looking over to her, he nodded. "It's Dr. McKay's IDC."

She frowned and immediately radioed Carson to meet her in the control room, knowing that something was wrong, if Rodney was the one sending his IDC. "Open a channel."

"...Zabeth? Elizabeth!"

Now her eyes narrowed, knowing that if Rodney was hurrying in trying to contact her, something was _really_ wrong. "I'm here, Rodney. What's going on?" Where was John?

"I need a medical team, stat! Colonel Sheppard's been hurt and I mean really hurt! Not as in a broken leg, but like, can't breathe and internal bleeding and can't move kind of hurt!" He was speaking rapidly and everyone could hear him panting. "I couldn't move him! Elizabeth, you...you have to send Carson through with a...a...a stretcher! And I mean _now_!"

The urgency in his voice made her heart plummet as she glanced at Carson as he entered the room. "No time to explain, Carson, you're going off world. You need to get a team together, with a stretcher. John's been severely injured, from what I'm hearing."

Carson's eyes widened and he nodded before hitting his radio and contacting his team. Turning back to the screen, Elizabeth took a deep breath. "Carson's getting his team ready now, Rodney. Just hang in there. I'm going to shut off the gate and dial out to that world, so we can send people through, ok?"

There was no answer.

"Rodney?"

Still no answer. Turning to Chuck, Elizabeth's stern look told him what he needed to do, before she could even open her mouth. He activated the MALP camera and used it to look around.

Nothing.

"There's no sign of him, ma'am."

"No, but look." She pointed to the ground and the MALP's camera lowered and zoomed in on foot prints. "He didn't even wait. He must have run back."

"It must be bad, then." Chuck stated grimly as he called a small team to assemble quickly in the gate room. Shutting down the gate as Elizabeth promptly ordered him to do, he redialed out and sent the team through to scout the area and locate the members of Team Sheppard.

**(In the Woods)**

"Ok! Ok!" Running back, Rodney collapsed on the ground next to John, struggling to breathe and speak at the same time. "I contacted Atlantis. Elizabeth's sending a team, and Carson, yeah, I told her to send Carson. Oh, and a medical team." He sat upright and coughed. Checking through his pockets, he grabbed the bottle of glucose tablets and took one before turning back to the Colonel. "John?"

His eyes were wide. There was a puddle of blood around his face, and he was still choking as he struggled to breathe. His chest was rising, but only the tiniest bit, and his eyes were really glazed, but at least somewhat focused on Rodney. "G..." He choked again and his eyes closed a moment before opening half mast. "Good." It was hard to understand, with the blood spilling from his mouth.

Looking over his body, Rodney realized his chest must have swollen from the injuries. He carefully lifted the top and blanched as he saw the already blackening bruises forming all over the Colonel's chest and stomach. He was still lying the way Rodney had set him, obviously he hadn't moved. The pale color of his skin made the blackness of his hair stand out in a way that was almost scary.

"Rod..." Choking again, John's eyes slide closed, and for a moment his chest stopped rising all together.

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" Looking back the way he'd come, Rodney wanted to call for help, but he was all too aware that doing so could give away their location to the enemy. "John! Damn it, Colonel! You have to hold on!" He took John's hand and squeezed it with all the strength he had left, feeling his own heart pounding.

John's chest rose again before halting. Then it deflated, and halted. He was still breathing, but just barely. Even his lips were turning blue at this point, and he didn't open his eyes again. More blood gushed from his mouth, and his breathing stopped again.

"John! No! Keep breathing!"

There were footsteps running through the woods, and Rodney was aware of Carson calling him through the ear piece.

"Here! I'm here! _We're_ here!" He called, feeling terror and relief course through his body. "Hurry! He's stopped breathing!" He didn't know what to do.

There. Another breath. He hadn't stopped totally. A slight squeeze on his hand.

Carson led the team, rushing into the woods, and seeing the log sitting in the air, he frowned before his eyes widened. "You!" He turned to his staff. "Get the stretcher set up! You! I need help over here!" Rushing over, his eyes widened in horror as he quickly pushed Rodney's backpack out of the way, and gestured for one of the medical staff to kneel behind him. "We're going to have to intubate him! Dunno what good it might do..." The last part was muttered almost under his breath, as he eyed the nasty bruises on John's chest. "Hurry, people, hurry!"

One of the marines ran over with a large medical pack. Handing it over, he undid it as two more began hurriedly setting up the make shift stretcher. The nurse grabbed a long tube and handed it to Carson who was cleaning some of the bood off John's face.

"He's got several broken ribs, at least one punctured lung, severe internal bleeding, minor trauma to his spinal cord and kidneys..." Listing off his injuries, Carson slipped the tube down John's throat, absently apologizing when he choked on it and his chest feebly rose. "We have to move!" He got the tube in, and attached a bag to it, which he handed to a nurse.

The marines managed to carefully get him on a stretcher, and a nurse straddled his waist as they carried the off, pressing on the bag to keep his, hopefully, uninjured lung working. Another marine helped Rodney to his feet and grabbed their things, hurrying behind everyone else as they ran back to the gate.

**(Infirmary)**

"I can't believe..." Rodney's eyes were wide. "Who would put such a trap up?? I mean, it's ridiculous!" Shaking his head, he looked at the others. "There was no warning, nothing we could do!"

Teyla nodded, her own face almost white from the news. She was standing next to Ronon as they glanced over to the bed beside the one Rodney was lying on, at the moment. Even Ronon, who was usually a strong one, was more quiet then usual.

Elizabeth had almost fainted, when she'd seen John. She was a strong woman, yes, but there's only so much some people can take, and when he'd begun to cought up a lot of blood, it had been too much for her.

"Lad, you need to rest. The Colonel will be fine. It was touch and go for a while, but we managed to get him stabilized.

"No, no, no. I need to go back and talk to Queen Harmony about that trap. That's just plain stupid. I need to make her understand there are better ways, less painful and lethal ways to deal with intruders."

"And why would this Queen Harmony listen to you?" Elizabeth asked quietly, in confusion, having newly joined the conversation.

"Why?" Rodney looked at her like she'd grown a second head. "Because I'm the hero, of course! I mean, I know she thinks John's a coward, and everyone will think the same, but if _I_ say something, maybe she'll change that."

"_You're_ a hero, there?" Ronon threw in, his eyes going wide.

Carson looked doubtful and promptly walked over, grabbing a pen light and shining it into Rodney's eyes as he tilted his head back. "Did you hit your head?

Teyla removed her eyes from the pale form of John Sheppard. "_John_ is considered a coward?"

"No, I didn't." Rodney pushed Carson away and glared at him. "And yes, yes. Twisted rules, evil little bratty princess. Blah, blah, blah. My point is-"

"We get it, McKay." Ronon put in with his deep voice.

Everyone slowly turned to John, any levity gone from the situation as they took in his pallid complexion, and how pale he seemed, dressed in the white hospital gown and white sheets. He was hooked up to practically every kind of machine, and an intubator, to keep him breathing.

"By no means is he out of the woods yet, but hopefully we'll have John up and around again in no time." Carson stood grimly with the others, eyeing the C.O. of Atlantis. "For the time being, I've put him in a medically induced coma. Without it, his body would be in too much agony for him to handle."

Elizabeth nodded at Carson for a moment and sighed. Before leaving, she ordered the others to get some rest, knowing that without the order itself, they'd exhaust themselves to the point of passing out, watching over the Colonel. Like Carson said, he wasn't out of the woods yet, but everyone was there, and Elizabeth had to believe he'd be all right in the end.

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Ok, so a slightly more serious one. Turned out a little different than I was planning, but (shrugs) It turned out?

Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	16. Major Revenge

**Disclaimer** : I don't own them, or some of the quotes and scenes in this fiction. I also don't own Major Stevenson, or Corporal Stevenson.

**Note** : Another tag to **Debbie418uk2**'s Rodney's Really Bad Days. Chapter 15, 'Vengeance is Mine'. Basically same chapter, but from John's POV

Ok I read some information on gateworld, and see that they picked out their new 'characters' for SGU. My opinion is it's either going to be stupid, boring, a twisted version of 'Girls Gone Wild', stupid, some soap opera, and oh yeah, STUPID! Basically, from reading the preview, I can honestly say I will NOT be watching it. That is subject to change, but... (Shrugs) Not any time soon. So off to the SGA DVDs it is, and 'forget you' to scifi channel in general.

OMG! You know what it made me think of?? WWE WRESTLING! The characters sound like TOTAL rip offs of the characters there. (I am DEFINITELY even LESS interested now)

P.S. Check out this...

Chloe Carpenter  
20ish. Stunning and sexy. Daughter of a U.S. Senator. Silver spoon upbringing and a little spoiled but not stupid either. Politically and socially savvy. Dreams of following in her father's footsteps but for now she's a bit of a party girl in her first year at an Ivy League school. Her father's tragic death and the dire circumstances of being trapped on a spaceship seriously tests her character.

That is taken directly from Gateworld (I don't own it) THIS is going to be a character? MARY-SUE! MARY-SUE! I hope to god they change this list, or I swear I'm gonna be sick! That, and, IF I ever watch the show (mom's a big fan of checking out new scifi shows, so you never know), I'll probably end up laughing myself into a coma by how stupid it all sounds!

Ok, end rant. Sorry about that, this news was just disgusting and I wanted to share it. Feel free to let me know what you think, I'm always up to a good debate and conversation.

Wow, I got a lot of reviews with this chapter! Thank you so much! :)

**Jasminesmommy** - LOL Yeah, John has the worst luck, sometimes. As for the second review, like I said, John has bad luck. LOL. Rodney, when with John, usually has bad luck, too, so it must be contagious.

**Debbie418uk2** - Oh, I read and loved it. I also wrote the tag (just need to check over it), and will be ready to post it by the next update. I'm trying to get more original ideas out, and slowly, little things are helping out. Like right now, I thought up ideas for Aiden to come back, and Larrin has a guy who's infatuated with her, and he hates Sheppard... Maybe have john pull a Teal'c, and get stuck in the gate. It was a surprise and I tried to go for serious. I'm glad it worked.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - No, it came last minute, but I wanted to have Rodney pull a date and dash with Katie, so it had to include Botany... I'm glad it turned out. Serious works nicely, but I also want to try and include a little humor now and then for variety.

**x Varda x** - I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had it listed as only John, but in the end I kept having Rodney get hurt or embarrassed, too, or playing some key part, so I added him in the list, too. It's supposed to be majorly John whump, but somehow... Poor Rodney keeps getting hurt, too. :S Well, if it pleases the readers... (prepares to whump Rodney and John (more of John, though) even more!)

**Godsdaughter77** - Glad you like it :)

Glad you all liked it! Thank you for sticking with me :)

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**(Normal POV)**

The mission had gone off without a hitch, and returning to Atlantis, John laughed with the others. "Oh, come on. It wasn't _that_ bad!" Stopping just outside of the gate room, he paused and looked back, his eyes dancing over the marines who were walking through the rooms. Some he didn't recognize, as they were new recruits that the Daedalus brought recently. Others, he did know, even if vaguely.

"John?"

Turning back, he noticed the others were looking at him and stared back blankly. "Huh?"

"Is something wrong?" It was Teyla. She walked over and looked through the room before looking back to him in confusion.

Ronon and Rodney stayed quiet, but their expressions also showed their confusion. Then, Rodney sighed and rolled his eyes before walking over. "Let me guess, you saw a cute new marine?"

Frowning, John shook his head. "No, Rodney. I..." Pausing, he looked out over the room again, noticing how everyone just went along about their own business. No one seemed to be staring at them, or acting strange at all. "I swear I had this weird feeling as if I was being watched."

"You're probably just paranoid." He muttered.

Turning to him, John sighed. "And here I thought that was _your_ job."

Teyla grinned at John's side. "I am sure it is nothing." She replied firmly, before Rodney had a chance to say anything in retaliation. "But I believe we should get going. We do have a report to make to Elizabeth."

Frowning a little, John nodded and they continued on their way to the conference room. Still, he did hesitate and looked back. There was one man he'd seen, but before he could get a good look at him, he'd disappeared out of the room. _He seems familiar._ Brushing it off, John turned back and followed the others to the conference room, hoping to get the report out of the way and have the rest of the day to relax.

**(Several Days Later, John's POV)**

Standing back in the gate room, I relaxed and chatted with Teyla. We were going on a supposedly innocent mission, not like we didn't know how _those_ tended to turn out. I'd sent Ronon to grab McKay, who hadn't been informed about the last minute call, and we were waiting on them, along with a small military detail.

No, no. It was to be a simple mission. Recon mission, blah, blah, blah, find the hidden treasure type thing. But we learned a long time ago, it was better to be safe than sorry.

The military team consisted of a young Lieutenant and a Major who were new to the base, and a few other marines who were more familiar to me. Actually, the Major only just joined our little group a few moments ago, apparently volunteering to go in place of another marine. Luckily Elizabeth approved that, we don't usually let people just switch places before going on missions.

Pausing again in my look around the room, I stared at the back of his head. He was an older man, his hair long since turned grey, and there was this sense of familiarity about him that I couldn't ignore. Still, before I had a chance to think on that further, Ronon came into the room, talking to a pretty irate McKay.

"You didn't have to _drag_ me."

Smirking a bit, I turned to head towards the gate as Rodney and the others joined me. Seeing the Major staring at me, I stared right back, trying so hard to place him. Also, his look bothered me. It felt as if he was _daring_ me or something, and it was masked, as if he was hiding something. Finally turning away, having failed to recognize him, I lead my team through the gate.

Once we got to the planet and checked out the immediate area, I turned to the two marines I planned to have guard the gate. One was the mystery Major who was again staring at me. "Stay here." I stated as emotionlessly as possible. I didn't chose them to stay behind just to guard the gate, I just felt awkward with him staring at me all the time. What was his problem, anyways? "We'll radio in at twenty three hundred, Atlantis time."

He nodded back, just as blank. "Yes, sir."

Was it me, or was there hidden hatred and disgust in that? Thinking it was just my imagination, I turned and walked off into the distance, heading to our destination.

"Ok, so what was so all fire urgent that I got _dragged_-" He glared at Ronon for that. "Out of my lab at this hour? Oh, this is _so_ going to mess up my circadian sleep rhythm." As soon as he said that, Rodney seemed to regret it.

Teyla smiled slightly, raising her eyebrow. "You have a sleep pattern?"

Smiling, myself, I explained the situation, baiting Rodney by slightly suggesting we could always go back for Radek, if he wasn't interested in continuing on. There was a locked building that registered a high EM radiation. Elizabeth had suggested it, sure Rodney would have wanted to be here.

Of course, he saw right through what I was saying, but through the irritated voice and glare, I could see the sparkle of excitement when he found out why we were here. Then, of course, he got into how Ronon had 'dragged him by the scruff'.

Slowing a moment, I made sure to keep up with the others, but my mind was on our surroundings. According to the archaeology team, they said there were no life signs around, no civilizations currently residing on this world. Sure, there were animals, but nothing big.

So why was I once again feeling like I was being watched?

It was the same feeling I got in Atlantis, and I frowned as I looked out over the woods. I heard a branch snap behind me a ways, and my step halted a little before I forced myself to keep going. Seeing Ronon's suspicious look, I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. He turned back to the others and kept talking, like nothing was going on.

We soon made it to the door, and Rodney set to work on it. We spread out a little, but not too far, and I carefully scanned the woods, sure we weren't alone. The only reason I didn't say anything to the others was that I didn't want to give us away and I wasn't even positive of us being followed.

Kneeling in front of the door, Rodney took a burned crystal and began comparing it to a handful of crystals he'd pulled out of his pack.

Just then, I heard the shot, but it was too late to cry out a warning. I jumped and spun around, turning as Rodney fell sideways, a line of blood already appearing at his temple. There was another shot, and I fell into a crouch, watching as Teyla and Ronon did the same. Rodney's body jerked, and collapsed completely. Moving quickly, Ronon grabbed his tack vest and hauled him around the corner of the building, out of the line of fire.

Keeping an eye on Teyla's six, we followed suit, carefully peeking out around the corner every now and then to try and locate our attacker.

_Damn!_ "He must be over there." I had the general idea pinned down, of where our attacker was, but nothing specific. Seeing Rodney bleeding on the ground, as Teyla bandaged his head and worked on his side, I winced. "How's Rodney?" Part of me felt guilty, thinking I should have warned them of what I was sensing, but I couldn't have known this was going to happen.

I barely even heard as Teyla explained his injuries to me. I also vaguely heard Ronon's comments about him being able to pick us off, if we made for the trees, because of the location of this building we were hiding behind.

Tapping my radio, I bit back the urge to curse. "Sheppard to gate detail, we're under attack."

"I know." Came the calm response.

_That voice..._ It was the Major I'd left behind, I was sure of it. "Major?"

"That is correct, Colonel. You don't remember me, do you?" His voice remained cool and icy, but now it was also filling with anger and disgust.

"No, Major." Frowning deeply, I cursed the fact that I now knew I should have recognized him. And it also explained the feeling of being watched. "Are you the one who shot Doctor McKay?" Stupid question, obviously he was.

"I am." He chuckled a little bit.

Glaring at the ground, I noticed the others were listening in, their looks confused and shocked, and Ronon's more than a little vengeful. Swallowing heavily, I hesitated a moment, trying to make sense of our current situation and possible escape routes. "May I ask why?"

"Do you remember Corporal Paul Stevenson?"

Now my eyes widened. I remembered him, and now I remembered this man, who he was and why he seemed to have it in for us. No, not _us._ Me. "Afghanistan. Five...no, six years ago."

The voice growled. "He was my _son_." The Major hissed angrily.

I nodded to myself, feeling even guiltier than before. Angry father, it made a lot of sense, he was definitely after me, and he'd go through the others to get to me. "Major." I was going to try and reason with him. "He chose to dive on that grenade. He saved several lives that day. He was a hero..." And not one day passed that I wished I'd taken that course of action, and saved _him._

"_You_ were in command of that unit. _You _should have been the one..."

_No, you think?_ Sighing quietly, I peeked out around the corner, I took a look before ducking back under cover again. "What has that got to do with McKay?"

"My son died under your command, so someone close to you must die."

Talk about twisted logic. Ronon switched his radio off and growled. "That's insane!"

"We must get Doctor McKay to a doctor soon. He is bleeding badly." Teyla put in quietly as she switched her own radio off.

Rodney chose then to start moving, and groaned in pain, coughing a little as he struggled to sit up. Giving up on that, he turned his head to the side and spat up blood. "What the hell...?" Gasping in agony, he closed his eyes as his face scrunched up.

"You've been shot, Rodney. Try to stay still"

"It will be hours until dark." I stated grimly as I switched my own radio off. Ronon looked at me grimly and told me of this plan he had, to sneak around and get to the woods. He'd try to sneak up on Major Stevenson, through the woods. _No, way._ I thought. Teyla seemed to agree as she pointed out he'd be out in the open. Of course, he reasoned he could stay hidden behind the building, keeping it effectively between him and Stevenson.

And I stayed quiet, ignoring the urge to point out that for Ronon, staying low might not be as easy as it sounds.

Of course, none of us had a better idea, so as he turned and dashed off, I tapped my radio. "Major Stevenson." Stepping out from behind the building, I looked in the general direction I figured he was in and took a few small steps forward. "Major? Are you there?"

His answer was to pump a bullet into the ground, by my feet. Feeling my heart leap up into my throat I couldn't help but jump. I swallowed heavily and took a step back, keeping my hands up where he could see them.

My mind was racing a mile a minute, all kinds of thoughts running through it. _Stay with McKay and Teyla. I have to protect them. What about Ronon? Isn't there something I can say or do to stop him?! Where's Ronon? How bad is McKay?? I wish I'd recognized him sooner!_ Frowning, I locked eyes on the bushes, trying to appear relaxed. "Major. Where are your men?" Why weren't they shooting at us, too? Were they in on it? Did he hurt them?

Of course, he responded that _my_ men were 'indisposed' and I began to fear the worst for them. When I asked why, Major Stevenson insisted this was revenge for his son, and the reason he didn't kill me directly was because death was too fast. He wanted me to live with the pain.

If only he knew. "I do live with it." _As well as the deaths of Sumner, Aiden, and so many more._ "But it was your son's choice-" Realizing too late how he'd take that, I jumped back behind the building as he used the rapid fire on his P90 and riddled the area I'd been standing with bullets.

Leaning against the wall of the building, I tried to relax as Teyla looked at me. We spoke quietly amongst ourselves, trying to determine what to do. Then again, in all honesty, there wasn't much we _could_ do. It was up to Ronon to take care and get us out of this.

But where was Ronon?

_How long's he been gone?_ I looked at Rodney, who was clearly in agony and struggling to keep breathing. Teyla was worrying over him, checking his bandages with a deep frown, and swatting his hands away whenever he tried to stop her. If this situation wasn't so grim, I'd probably have thought that she reminded me of a mother hen.

Suddenly, there was a bright red flash and the sound of Ronon's blaster, and I jumped a little. Peeking around the corner of the building, I sighed in relief as the said Satedan came out of the woods dragging the hopefully unconscious Major.

Getting up, I ran over, looking at the man. "Is he...?"

"He's out cold is all." Ronon grunted and glared at the guy before eyeing his blaster. "It was tempting, though."

Quietly I nodded before racing back to check on Teyla and Rodney.

**(infirmary)**

As I entered the infirmary, I could clearly hear Rodney, the only patient at the moment, complaining to Carson about being bored, and almost begging for his laptop. I almost felt pity for the other soldiers, knowing they had to listen to this until Carson released them.

Luckily they'd only been a little battered and knocked out. Seems the only one Major Stevenson wanted to die was one of my guys, in this case, Rodney.

"Oh, Radek got the door open." I put in, some ways into our discussion.

Looking a little put out, Rodney nodded, a curious gleam in his eyes. "Really? What was in there?"

I shrugged, feeling as disappointed as I knew he was about to feel and look. "An EM generator with a nuclear core and very little in the way of shielding. Radek's still complaining about the possible radiation exposure. And apparently to add insult to injury there wasn't even much actual power left in it."

"Maybe getting shot wasn't so bad then."

Trust Rodney to make something sound lighter than it was. While I still felt bad about what happened, I did feel relieved that he was going to be ok, and this was all over with. Replying with one of my usual comments, I smiled a little and relaxed, chatting away with McKay.

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	17. The Hunt Part 1

This is the first part of one of my two-parters, and that's all I'm saying. I do have more tags to post, but I wanted to get at least one of my two-parters out of the way, first. SECOND CHAPTER should be posted in a couple days, I'm very low on time right now, with school and everything (thank god I'll be done around the middle of October! :) )

**x Varda x** - Yeah, that's what I was going for. Rodney's Rodney, but he's still a good friend, and I figured it could fit in for John, with Rodney being the one shot, and having it all happen because he couldn't save someone in the past. When I re-read over **Debbie**'s chapter, that's the first thing that came to my mind :)

**Debbie418uk2** - Ahh, sorry. Monkey tag doesn't happen just yet. It will be my next...uh, _next_ update, seeing as I still have a second part to put with this chapter. I like how you have the neutral 'Normal' POV, it works perfectly with your story, and focusing on all the characters. Me, I find I am stronger with John's POV, so I use it and rely on his feelings and thoughts more.

You know what? I wish we really could write our own series. If I owned SGA, I'd find ways to keep it running for at least 10 seasons. I'd also try to find ways of bringing back Carson, and try to bring back Elizabeth...

**Anonymous** - Oh I noticed that too. Don't forget though, that Rodney is John's best friend, so Sheppard would be feeling guilt towards Rodney's pain, which makes it worse for him. Still, I am trying to turn it a bit more towards John. I think... I only just realized how _easy_ it is to whump on Rodney. LOL

**Puddle-Jumper38** - I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm very glad and lucky that **Debbie** allowed me to do tags to her story. I re-read all the chapters and pick and chose which ones I knew I could do for John's Really Bad Days. :)

And we're on to the next chapter, 'The Hunt'.

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**(John's POV)**

"Rodney, it's their society, ok? You didn't need to react like that."

"Oh, yes, and your blatant backing off and into a table full of 'blessed' fruits, and knocking it over, wasn't insulting?"

Pausing a moment, I thought about it and closed my eyes. "Ok, so we both screwed up." Staring at Ronon, I raised an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you didn't deck the guy."

He shrugged. "It was their society. I just told him I wasn't interested."

"Funny how our guys didn't want to hear it. Then again, it's _you_. He probably took one look at you and figured you could break his neck like a twig with two fingers." Rodney muttered, staring at Teyla as she laughed a little. "What?! You didn't see… Ok, so maybe you did, but you're a girl. It's not so bad when guys hit on you."

She raised an eyebrow and laughed again before shaking her head and turning back in her seat. "We are almost back. Perhaps Elizabeth can save the trade relations with the Kavians."

"As long as I don't have to go back." I muttered, shivering a little and making a face. "No offence, but that's not an experience I wanna repeat." Seeing the Atlantis towers in the distance, I shifted my hands over the controls and pushed the jumper to move more quickly. "Maybe I can get her to take Lorne." I grinned, then winced. "I'm sure Elizabeth will _love_ hearing this story."

"That's why you'll be perfect for telling her."

"_Thanks_, Rodney." I muttered as the towers closed in. Frowning for a moment, I listened quietly, wondering why Elizabeth, or someone in the control room hadn't contacted us already. I was pretty sure they had to have noticed our approach by now. Feeling my eyes narrow, I accessed the jumper's communications systems and opened a channel with Atlantis. Radios only went so far, after all.

"Atlantis, this is jumper one. Do you read?" Waiting, I exchanged a look with Teyla, then Ronon and Rodney, before turning back. "Atlantis, this is jumper one. Please respond."

"They're not answering?"

"Rodney, run a life sign scan, and let me know if you pick up any anomalies."

"Uh, right." Sitting in his seat, Rodney began typing away, his face screwed up in worry and confusion. After a moment, he frowned. "There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with…well, anything. No anomalous life signs, no signs of Wraith or anything else, communications are open."

"Alright, we're going in. I want everyone ready for anything. Get the stunners out. Ronon…" Turning in my seat, I raised an eyebrow and watched as he sighed before pulling out his blaster and setting it to stun. "Thank you."

Turning back, I sighed and closed my eyes a moment before reopening them and setting in. Pushing a button, I opened the bay doors and took the jumper in. Once it was parked I looked to find the others more or less ready, besides Rodney's mumbling about how 'not right' this was, and hit the button to the hatch.

"Alright lady and gentlemen, our mission is to find out why Atlantis wasn't responding to our communication attempts."

"And what if it's just…a glitch or something and they just didn't hear us? Or maybe there's a surprise party?"

"Does completely not responding to our hails sound like something Elizabeth would do, if it was just a surprise party?" Raising an eyebrow, I kept a tight hold on my P90 and gave him a look. "And as for a glitch in the communications system, you yourself said that the systems were working fine."

"Oh, right. I did, didn't I?" Hesitating for a moment, he looked back at the jumper. "Maybe one of us should stay with the jumper?"

"We're at Atlantis, Rodney. Where else are we gonna go?"

He made a face before sighing and nodded. "I really don't like this."

I shook my head. "Me, either. Rodney, I want you to head towards the control room and see if you can find anything. Teyla and I will head towards the infirmary." As we parted ways, I had this inexplicable feeling we were being watched, and looked around the eerily quiet halls. "Oh, and Rodney? See if you can use the CCTV to find out what's going on."

**(Rodney and Ronon, Normal POV)**

"This is too eerie." Frowning, Rodney looked around as he and Ronon stalked down yet another abandoned hall. "I mean, the life signs weren't different. Scans showed two hundred and forty seven life signs, all scattered around Atlantis, as they should be."

"Yeah, I got that much, McKay. So our people are alright, right?"

"Well, I don't know." Looking at his hand held scanner, he frowned and stopped, tapping something on a couple of keys. "There's a radiation source that's blocking the signal, now. I can't tell if anyone's in the hall." His eyes narrowed. "There was no signs of radiation from outside the tower…"

"And your point?"

Looking up, Rodney rolled his eyes. "Where are our people?"

Ronon paused now and looked around, as if just noticing the lack of people who _should_ have been walking around. "You're right." Tapping his ear, he raised his blaster. "Sheppard? It's Ronon, have you run into anyone?"

"Sheppard, here. No, we haven't run into anyone. You?"

Rodney's face screwed up in confusion, and he mouthed 'How can the radios be working when the scanner isn't?' to himself, before looking down and hitting a few keys on it. His puzzled expression never faded, however as he half listened to Ronon reporting in to John.

"Not one person. McKay says there's a radiation interfering with the signal. He can't tell if there's anyone nearby."

"That's strange. We should have run into _someone_. Alright, listen, let's keep going and keep me posted if you run into anyone, ok?"

"Got it." Tapping his ear piece again, Ronon gestured with his head.

The two of them kept going, heading down one empty hallway after another. Finally, it seemed they were closing in on the teleporter that would take them to near the gate room, and consequently the control room.

That's when they were ambushed.

P90 fire rang out loudly, and Rodney cried out as he was hit in the arm. Crying out and ducking around a corner, he watched Ronon follow him quickly. "What the hell! I've been shot!"

Panting, Ronon stared around the corner. "What the hell are you doing?! It's us!" He quickly ducked back in as more fire rang out. Turning to Rodney, he frowned deeply. "It's some marines."

"And they're _firing_ on us?!"

Looking back down the hall, Ronon turned back to the hall they were heading for. "There's at least five of them. There's a lab the other way, do you think you can do your work there?"

Thinking for a moment, Rodney hesitated, then looked down at his computer tablet. "I…I think so, it might take longer, but I think I can do it."

"You'd better, we don't got a choice. Three more marines just joined them." Turning back, Ronon growled. "Why are you shooting at us?!"

"We've got a beat of two of them! We need to keep them in sight!" Came the response. "How did they get on board?!"

"Run!" Ronon hissed as he grabbed Rodney by the collar and ran down the hallway, back the way they had come.

**(Control Room, Normal POV)**

"What's going on? First we have strangers in one of our jumpers trying to contact us…" Elizabeth frowned. "And they knew this city, as well as where the docking bay was, and how to access it. Second, they're using our own stunners against us, and seem to know their way around the city."

She was watching a video feed of two males, one in an Atlantis scientist uniform, as they walked briskly through the empty halls. Then, she switched to the live feed of and man and woman, both in Atlantis uniforms.

Turning to Chuck, she stared at him in worry. "It looks like the two men are heading in our direction. The man and woman are heading…" Staring at the feed, her eyes narrowed. "Towards the infirmary, but to get there…" Suddenly, her eyes widened. "They'll have to pass the labs!"

There was a flash in her head, of several blurry images, and familiar voices she couldn't place, but a burst of pain pushed them aside. With a slight groan, she shook her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Ma'am? Are you ok? Maybe we should get the doc up here." Major Lorne frowned in worry.

She shook her head again. "No, Carson's with the available nurses in the infirmary. Are we certain we have all non-essential personnel restricted to their quarters?" Seeing Lorne's nod, she sighed. "Alright, we need to get to the lab as soon as possible and shut down the sphere."

"Shut it down?"

"We've never had people come looking for us that didn't come through the gate or from the outer orbit of this planet. My guess is they came from another continent, and if that's the case, why didn't they come earlier? They must have read the radiation leak that the sphere is giving off. We can't risk any more of them coming to Atlantis. Who knows what kind of threat they might be?" Rubbing the bridge of her nose a little more, she sighed and turned to Lorne.

"Your orders, ma'am?"

"Take a marine team to the jumper bay and seal it off. I don't want them getting out, or any others coming in that way. Captain Terence, I want you to take a team and stop the two men heading in our direction." Turning to Radek Zelenka who was across the room, and clearly not paying attention, she almost rolled her eyes. "Radek, I want you with me. We need to head to the lab and shut down the sphere, before either destroying it or hiding it."

With a look to Lorne, she stopped his protests as she patted the thigh holster she wore. It was a reassurance to him, to know she was armed, and she knew it. It's the only reason she wore it. She wasn't a fighter, and she hated guns. Letting her hand slip around to her back, she ran her fingers over the hunting knife attached to her belt. With a nod to the Major, she gestured for Radek to follow her and lead the way out of the room, beyond the dozen armed guards that were stationed at the doors.

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Hope you like it.

R+R Please

Thank you

Tenshi


	18. The Hunt Part 2

Part 2. Ok, I don't know how I did on the explanations, and like Elizabeth, a lot of it went over my head, so... Let me know what you think?

Due to popular demand, I'm gonna post this chapter early.

**Debbie418uk2** - Hm, I don't remember, I wrote this a while ago. It might have been. LOL. I just love his reaction. "I got shot!"

**Jasminesmommy** - You could say that, yes. LOL

**Brisk33** - Thank you :) Here's the next chapter, I hope you like it. :)

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Well, here's the update, a little earlier than I was planning, before. But due to popular demand... LOL

Part 2 of The Hunt is up, I hope it's not too disappointing. Again, I tried to explain it, but I think a lot of it went over my head. :S This...is why I'm not an astrophysicist. Rodney! A little help over here!

RM (Rodney McKay): (Shows Rodney running from brainwashed marines) "I'm a little busy right now!"

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**(John and Teyla, John's POV)**

Walking down another hall, I flashed the light of my P90 into two more labs, frowning to find several computers hooked up and activated, but no one in the rooms. "This is very weird."

I felt a light weight against my arm and turned to find Teyla standing next to me, leaning over me a little as she looked through the doorway. "Yes, I have never seen anything like this. It is as if they just abandoned their work." Walking carefully into the room, she flashed her light around as she approached one of the computer. "And this is odd, as well."

I followed her in, my curiosity peaked by her comment. "What's that?"

The screen showed strange energy readings. There were spikes now and then, and looking up, I realized the computers were hooked up to a small spherical shaped object.

Typing on the keyboard, Teyla frowned. "It appears this was an object that just showed up in the ocean around Atlantis."

"You know how to work these…scanners?"

She shook her head. "No, but there was an open log at the bottom of the screen. It says they ran scans on the object and found it released radiation, but since the levels seemed safe at the time, they brought it to this lab and began running all kinds of scans." Her eyes narrowed as she hit a button and the document on the screen flipped to more writing. "Once they began running scans, the level of radiation spiked, and…" Stopping, she turned to me. "It just leaves off there."

"I really don't like this." Tapping my ear, I turned to the doorway and raised my P90 as I went to stand to one side of it. "Rodney, do you read?"

Rodney's panting voice came over the line. "We-We're here." P90 fire rang out in the background and Rodney went quiet a moment. "Sorry, we're a little busy." His voice was heavily pained.

"What the hell's going on?!"

"We found some of the marines."

"And they're _firing_ on you?!"

"My response, exactly. They're not talking to us, but from what I can tell, they seem to think we're invaders of some kind."

"Maybe it has to do with what we found in the lab."

"You…found something?"

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, you'd better get to the north lab. We've found a strange object, and I think it may be what's effecting the others." Turning back to Teyla, I watched as she carefully typed on the computer. "And the sooner we find out what that is, the sooner we can fix this."

"Getting to your location might be kind of difficult, there's a bunch of _marines_ _shooting_ at us, remember?"

"You'd never let me forget. Look you need to find a way, I dunno how to work this stuff."

"Obviously. Ok, we'll figure…something out."

"Good. And put a hurry on it. Sheppard out."

When I disconnected the radio, I became aware of the sound of feet approaching. They were in the hall, but closing in on our location.

"Teyla." Hissing at her, I raised my P90, before lowering it and grabbing a stunner. Lucky we had two in the jumper. Nodding to her, I ducked my head out around the corner, and felt my eyes widen. There, walking down the hallway, were Elizabeth and Zelenka. Both were armed, which was unusual in itself, and they were talking.

"So you think you can figure out a way to turn off the device? It's already drawn four of them, we can't risk it drawing any more."

Zelenka nodded with a frown. "Did we find the four? I think I can shut it down, but there is no telling what that will do."

"They're still wandering around. Team Five had two of them pinned, but I just received notice that they managed to escape them. They're chasing them, but it looks like those two are on their way here."

Frowning, I ducked back around the corner and looked at Teyla, finding her staring back in confusion. Looking to the said object, I wondered if we should hide. If they were going to shut it down, that could help us, right? Shaking my head, I turned back and raised my stunner, signaling to Teyla to do the same.

We took up positions on either side of the door, and waited. It didn't take long. Still deep in conversation, Elizabeth and Radek walked into the room, stopping and raising their hands to their guns quickly, as they spotted us. Unfortunately for them, we'd already targeted them with our stunners.

"Ok, take a step forward, slowly." I said, as I reached out and took Elizabeth's hand gun. "We have a few questions for you."

"I think it's only fair to let you know we won't talk." Her tone was grim. "I don't know who you are, or what you want, but our people _will_ come for us."

"_Don't know_ who we are?" I turned to Teyla, staring at her in hope she'd understand my unasked question, but she shook her head. "Elizabeth, it's _us_." I could tell from the look on her face that she didn't have any idea what I was talking about. "It's me, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, and this is Teyla Emmagan, of the Athosian people."

Her face remained grim and disbelieving.

"John!"

Spinning in place, I raised the stunner as Rodney and Ronon ran into the room. Suddenly, I heard Teyla calling my name in alarm, and movement, and before I could turn back, I felt a sharp pain in my side. Twisting my body, and trying not to pass out from the pain, I hissed and grabbed the hand that held the knife hilt, pulling it out and turning to find Elizabeth's grimly triumphant face as she glared at me.

"Oh my god! Elizabeth!!"

Her eyes narrowed and she turned her head to Rodney. "How do you know my name?! Who the hell are you?!"

"She doesn't recognize us." I explained to them through gritted teeth. I gestured with my head to the computer and gave him a look. "Figure out what the hell that thing is and turn it off!" Gasping in pain, I took a moment and closed my eyes, knowing Ronon could watch over both Radek and Elizabeth. The pain that washed through me was intense. And for a moment I really felt like kicking myself._ It's Elizabeth. I should have known she'd have more than just a hand gun on her._

"Turn it…" Elizabeth's eyes turned confused and suspicious. "That's what we were planning to do."

"Yeah, well, I don't wanna risk you blowing up Atlantis. Let's do this right." Rodney muttered as he walked over to the computer. "Hmm…" Typing quickly, a number of commands, he frowned. "Well no wonder it spiked. You were putting power into it without making sure our power wouldn't have any negative effects on the, uh…" He looked at the sphere. "That."

"Yes, I know. We did run scans, but nothing showed up. We thought it harmless." Zelenka finally spoke up, glaring distrustfully at him. "The power just surged, we still don't know why."

Elizabeth stayed quiet, but watched everything through narrowed eyes.

Hissing in pain, I stood against the door as Ronon closed it and blasted the sensor with his blaster. Teyla walked over quietly, and checked the injury before taking a field dressing and placing it over the wound. "It is not deep, but you should rest." She stated quietly.

I just nodded, trying to blink back the tears in my eyes as the wound stung and burned. Taking a moment to look at the sphere, I noticed it seemed like a plain old silver colored metalic orb of some kind. There was a few tiny openings, where th computers were plugged in to it, but that's about it. It wasn't really all that impressive, but it did hum quietly and it glowed slightly.

"Why are you doing this?" Elizabeth didn't seem so much suspicious as she was confused, now.

Looking at her, I sighed. "We're friends, Elizabeth." I winced and took a deep breath.

"Ok, it looks like there was a radiation that affected everyone's memory. It was caused by a mixture of the energies in that thing, and the power they tried to run through it." Rodney was frowning deeply. "And, of course, they made a mistake. The combination caused errors in the plan. It was to duplicate their memories, in case anyone ever got amnesia, this would hold the memories."

Radek walked over and looked at the screen. "I see. Like a memory library, sorted by person."

"Yes, that's right. And the only limit to it's powers is the shield generated by Atlantis, which seems to jam the radiation somewhat. It pretty much got everyone with one go. Only, because we weren't here, our memories weren't stored. The problem is because our memories weren't stored, and the _error_ in the machine…" He shot Radek a look. "We were apparently forgotten. Not erased, I can still find the memories, but the radiation is affecting the brain and blocking the memories. It's like, the machine considered us a malfunction. A mistake, and not real, despite how many people knew us, so it blocked the memories of us." Typing some more, he nodded and pointed to the screen. "I can reverse the effects and shut down the power, just give me a few minutes."

"You, in the lab!"

"Well, you'd better hurry, Rodney. I think we just ran out of time." I muttered, hissing in pain as I clutched my side and stood in against the side of the closed door. My side was still throbbing, and I felt dizzy, but I raised the stunner, refusing to rely on the P90, and kept half my attention on the doorway.

"We know you have two of our people! Release them, and we may go easy on you!"

Frowning for a moment, I rolled my eyes. "Great, it's Bates."

"You say we should…know you." Elizabeth looked really lost and was massaging her temples as though she had a headache. "A lot of this is over my head, but I do know I don't recognize you."

Hearing beeping sounds, I turned back to the door, realizing they were trying to initiate the locking mechanism and get the door open. Right about now, I was glad that Ronon blasted the lock, it would make it that much harder for them to get in.

Still.. "Rodney, any time now would be great."

"Ok, I think I've got it."

The door panel beeped loudly and slid open.

_Well, so much for that idea. _"We're out of time!" Grabbing Elizabeth's hand, I pulled her behind a console and pushed her down, as Teyla pushed Radek down beside her. Raising the stunner, I fired it out the now open door, and watched as two marines dropped. Ronon was sitting behind a second console and jumped up to fire his blaster before collapsing down as they fired P90s back.

Bullets bounced off the metal consoles, and some landed in the ground next to my feet, causing me to jump and scrunch myself up into a smaller ball, but still trying to stay in a position that would allow me to move.

Turning to look over my shoulder, I watched as Rodney crouched with the computer he was working on. Elizabeth was looking at the stunner in my hand, and the one in Teyla's. Her face was totally confused now, and almost unsure as her gaze turned to the wound in my side, she'd caused.

"Ok, I've reversed it. It should take effect any moment!" Rodney called as he typed quickly. "And I'm in the process of shutting it down!"

Suddenly, the firing ceased and several groans were heard. Elizabeth clutched at her head, as her face scrunched up in pain, and she groaned. As did Radek. Then, they all collapsed.

"Elizabeth!" Reaching out, I winced and hissed as my side pulled, and carefully put my fingers to the side of her neck. Relaxing as I realized she still had a steady pulse, I checked Radek and nodded in relief. "They're ok."

Ronon got up and walked over to the downed marines, checking their pulses. "These guys are ok, too." he called slightly.

"Well…" Looking around, Rodney looked at the object as it hummed and the faint light it was giving off, slowly faded away. After a moment, it sat on the table, dull and lifeless. "That's that. It's powered down, and I've disconnected the power from this computer." Getting up, he sighed and went over to another. "I'll finish getting the rest of these computers disconnected." He reached out with both hands and suddenly winced.

"Rodney...?"

Watching as he carefully peeled back his sleeve and showed a nasty red gash where he'd been hurt, I watched as his face paled and his eyes widened. Closing them, he carefully put the sleeve back in place and braced himself on the console. "On second thought, I'd better go to the infirmary."

"And I'll head to the control room." Standing up, I winced again and closed my eyes as the pain ran right through my body, turning into a dizzy spell as I struggled to stay upright. "On second though...maybe I'll just go to the infirmary, too, and wait for Carson." I muttered as I walked slowly out of the room. "Yeah, that's what I'll do. And then, maybe I'll sleep for a week, or two."

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi.


	19. Monkey Madness

This is a tag to **Debbie418uk2**'s 'Rodney's Really Bad Days', chapter 51, 'Buttons', which was a chapter to my 'Rodney's Revenge', which was a tag to 'Rodney's Really Bad Days', chapter 45, 'No Good Deed'. LOL.

Many of the scenes and quotes belong to **Debbie418uk2**.

**Debbie418uk2** – Wow, that would have been perfect. I can't believe I didn't think about that. Then again, you do have a more Rodney-like mind, LOL (that's a good thing ;) ) Thank you about the techno babble, and I fixed the spelling mistake. :)

**Jasminesmommy** – Yeah they do tend to get into it with each other, or because of each other, or despite each other. LOL

**Puddle-Jumper38** – I didn't even think that it could have gone on for longer. Actually that could be said for a lot of these chapters, but hey, if anyone wants to borrow the idea, just contact me (or if it's a tag, **Debbie418uk2**) and ask.

**x Varda x** – I'm glad you like it :). There's usually a lot of ouchies for John and Rodney, LOL, though I need to focus on not hurting Rodney so bad, since that's **Debbie418uk2**'s job. LOL.

**Godsdaughter77** – I'm glad you liked it. :)

Thanks everyone for sticking with me. Here's a tag to a tag to a tag. LOL.

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**(John's POV)**

Ok, so apparently Rodney and I had this game of 'tag' going. First, I owed him, because I asked him to baby sit so I could go on a date, not that the date turned out, mind you... But in the end, he'd almost been fed to the 'Matri', the animals he babysat-and-lost's mother, because of all of it.

Yeah, I'll admit we learned our lesson on that case. Still, I owed him one. I don't think I've ever regretted those words more than I did after he called me on it.

Plant-sitting duty. Literally. For hours, in a hot lab... So _Rodney_ could go on a date. Imagine that, Rodney, on a date. Then again, I did notice he seemed to be getting closer to Katie, and I did recall hearing she returned the feelings. I just never imagined him being the one to ask her out.

_It'll be easy. Boring, but easy._ I should've known better. The damn plant was no harmless petunia, but an alien version of a venus fly trap! _I'll never look at plants the same way again!_

So where were we now? I owed Rodney, I paid him back, oh! Now he owed me...or so I thought.

**Flashback**

"At least it didn't try to _eat_ you!" I'd just gotten my IV removed, so I could leave, but unfortunately, Rodney wasn't quite well enough to go, himself, so he was still stuck in the infirmary, and totally miserable about it, too. "I was number one on it's lunch menu!"

Rodney rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, seeming ready to spit something back at me, but instead ended up sighing. "Ok, so who owes who, now? I figure this makes us about even."

I shook my head and glared at him. "Oh no, not by a long shot! You should owe me double for this one!"

"How'd you come to _that_ conclusion?!" He sat up sharply in the bed and hissed, grabbing his side and wincing.

I raised an eyebrow. "Did you notice the _teeth_ on that thing?!"

"Did you see the ones on the Matri?!" He tossed back, mimicking my facial expression and folding his arms over his chest.

Tilting my head to the side, I gingerly rubbed at the bandages on my shoulder. "Yeah, but the Matri never actually _bit_ you. This thing got a lump of my shoulder, _and_ it was poisonous, to boot!"

Again Rodney seemed ready to make a comment, but he looked at my shoulder and sighed again, lowering his face. "Fine. But no more babysitting...anything. Animal, vegetable or mineral."

Nodding quickly, I smiled at the nurse who had finished checking my injuries. "Agreed."

**End Flashback**

_How did I get myself into this, again?_ Walking out of the infirmary with Rodney, I sighed. _I ask Rodney to baby sit an...alien monkey... Whatever happened to 'no more babysitting...anything'? Anyways, he ends up pissing the thing off, I _still_ don't know how, and gets bit, bad. _

"So Yvonne wasn't, err...forthcoming?" Rodney asked hesitantly, cradling his bandaged hand.

Shaking my head, I sighed. '_Buttons likes this, Buttons can do that'..._ "She spent the entire time talking about that damn monkey." I grabbed our coffee as we entered the mess hall, and carried the two cups to our table. "How wonderful he is, how funny, how precious... I've never been so bored on a date." Frowning as I sat down, I placed the coffee down and rubbed at my eyes. "I was half tempted to tell her to go on a date with the damn thing!"

"She probably would have, and enjoyed it, too." Rodney grumbled. "'Nasty man'. Seriously?" Rodney suddenly seemed to stiffen up and looked into his coffee cup. "We may have, um, a problem, there. You know, with the monkey" The last part was said so quietly, I wasn't sure for a moment if I heard right.

Staring at him a moment, I knew something was up. "Oh?"

"Well, I had to explain to Carson how I got an animal bite here on Atlantis..." He trailed off, looking very uncomfortable.

_Oh, boy, I have a bad feeling about this._

**(Two Days Later, Normal POV)**

""Whoa, no! You owe me, remember??" Rodney glared at John as the two of them sat in the conference room.

Elizabeth sat across from the two grown men, currently acting like five year olds, and stared at them in confusion as John turned back and raised an eyebrow.

"And how do you figure that?"

"I got bitten by a monkey so you could go on a date!" Folding his arms over his chest, Rodney lifted his chin. "And in the end, she didn't even..." Trailing off, he turned back to Elizabeth, who'd raised an eyebrow at this point.

With a huge sigh, John lowered his head. He knew full well he could argue until his face was blue, but they had agreed to no babysitting, then he'd managed to get Rodney to agree to watch over an alien monkey. In the end... "Ok, you're right. But still, I can't do it. I'm not the head of her department." Ok, so he _could_ do it, but still, it _was_ Rodney who was the head of her department, and honestly, did you _see_ how upset she was? _I sure as hell don't wanna be the one to deliver this little tidbit of information!_

"John's right." Elizabeth took this time to speak up. "As the head of the Science and Research Department, it's up to you, Rodney, to inform Yvonne she has to return the monkey to the world she got it from."

"Fine... Oh, but John's gotta come with me!" Glaring at the Colonel, he raised an eyebrow. "It was _your_ date that started all this, after all."

Again John considered and nodded slowly. "Fine. What harm can it do to come with you?" _It'll be him to deliver the news, and it'll be him she'll be pissed at._

Once Elizabeth was done chewing the boys out for being part of this little secret, she'd made it quite clear Yvonne was to get rid of 'the damn monkey'. Unfortunately, as they were both in on it, she thought it fair one of them tell Yvonne personally. It fell on John, who'd wanted the surprisingly disappointing date in the first place, or Rodney, who agreed to watch the monkey, and in the end, ended up getting bitten.

**(Next Day, John's POV)**

"Is it me, or is her face _really_ red?" I asked quietly as Yvonne stomped down the hall way, dressed in her off world uniform and carrying her 'baby', Buttons.

"Just waiting for the steam to start pouring out of her ears?" Rodney asked back, his face paling. "This...is not going to end well, I can see it now. I'm just curious, how is it I always get the short end of the stick? I owe you, I end up getting hurt. You owe me, I _still_ end up getting hurt. It's just so not fair!"

"Just your luck." I muttered, nodding as Elizabeth came walking over. "And _I'm_ just curious how we all got stuck with escort duty."

Raising an eyebrow, Elizabeth looked at us, and for a moment almost seemed regretful, as a red-faced, royally pissed off Yvonne stomped by her, rudely. "Well, as Yvonne stated, you were both part of this secret of hers. She felt it was only fair that the two of you escort her back to return...um, _Buttons_, to his family."

Rodney rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. "But we told her about it, wasn't that enough? I mean, you weren't there, you didn't hear how mad she got! Now we have to deal with...this??" He shook his head and turned, walking over to Ronon and Teyla, who were seemingly biting back smirks.

The four of us were dressed in our off world BDUs, prepping to go on a return mission, taking Buttons home. How we got stuck with it, Yvonne managed to convince Elizabeth that as two main co-conspirators, myself and Rodney should definitely be there, and since Ronon and Teyla were part of my team... The latter two definitely didn't seem to mind the idea, as Atlantis has been pretty boring, recently, despite the little incidents with Matri and the alien venus fly trap.

"She _did_ get pretty mad." I conceded with a shrug. "But I guess there are worse things that could happen."

"Yes, there are. For one, I could reconsider the fact that I didn't report you both for this. John, this is precisely why Atlantis has a 'no pets allowed' rule. There are too many ways for people to get injured." Elizabeth sighed and nodded to the marine by the DHD. "Dial the gate." Turning back, she raised an eyebrow. "Just remember, it could have been a lot worse than a little bite."

With a nod, I turned and joined the rest of my team, glancing briefly at Rodney and feeling guilty. Last time I asked him for a favor, he almost ended up the special on the Matri's lunch menu. This time, he ended up as a snack to a monkey. I really wondered, was it _his_ luck, or _mine_?

The trip through the gate was fairly uneventful and quiet. Despite the glares Yvonne was shooting us, and the occasional smirk I saw flit across her face, she made no comment. Of course, she spent the entire time cooing to her baby, in her arms. It was still surprising the lack of verbal hostility.

P4X-379 was a surprisingly calm planet. Another one with an atmosphere that remarkable resembled _some_ part of earth, of course. This one resembled earth's tropical rain forests. Exotic sounding birds chirped loudly through the air, and something that sounded kin of like a cricket joined in now and then, giving a peaceful feeling. The sun shone down through the tall, thick trees, and highlighted the bright green plants that covered the ground. The air was cool and fresh, and actually invigorating.

"Hmm, this place is actually nice." Rodney looked around. "Of course, there's probably all kinds of man-sized alien mosquitoes, giant, poisonous spiders, deadly centipedes and more, that we haven't run into, yet."

"Always the pessimist." I muttered with a sigh. "Would be a nice place to take a girl out on a date." When Yvonne glared back at me, I raised an eyebrow and revised that in my head. _Though hopefully she won't be as much of a monkey freak._

"Hopefully she won't be as much of a monkey freak." Rodney stated out loud, unknowingly repeating my thought and typing away on his computer tablet.

"Ugh! You guys are completely..." Trailing off, Yvonne glared at us, and Buttons chirped and squealed angrily in her hands. She seemed to try to think of something to say, but groaned loudly and placed Buttons on her shoulder, before turning and stomping off.

At this point, Rodney was looking up and almost seemed to regret his words.

Almost.

It didn't take us too long to reach a number of very thick, twisted trees, where a number of monkeys were climbing around and chittering loudly. As soon as they came into sight, Buttons screeched, jumped off Yvonne's shoulder and raced to join them, making the loudest racket of all of them.

"Buttons!"

"Leave him. That's what we're here for, remember?" Taking a step forward, I reached out and took Yvonne's shoulder, only to have her pull roughly away, spin and glare at me.

"You don't understand! You had no right to do this!"

"And you had no right to bring an alien pet to Atlantis!" Rodney shouted back at her. "That's not only highly unsanitary, it's bad for both Buttons and us! Who knows what kinds of diseases he can give us, or vice versa?!" He looked at his hand almost fearfully.

She paused, as if it made sense to her, but with a huff, stomped off back the way we'd come. On her way past, I could have sworn I heard her mention something about 'getting what we deserved', but let it slide, since it was so quiet, I was sure it was my imagination. Watching as she silently stalked off into the woods, at a pace close to running, I raised an eyebrow and was about to turn to my team and suggest heading back when the commotion started.

Squeaks, chirps, chitters, and screams. Spinning in place, I raised my P90, and saw one long haired monkey pointing at us. Considering most of the monkeys looked different, some had shorter hair or more brown or different designs in their hair... This one seemed exactly like Buttons, I was pretty sure it _was_ Buttons, and he didn't seem happy. He was pointing directly at Rodney, and chittering away loudly to a group of four more monkeys.

In the trees, more than a dozen of these monkeys were staring at him, and then looking to us. And was it me, or were their eyes narrowing every time they turned towards us?

"They don't look too happy." Ronon stated pointedly, taking a few steps back. Not that he was running, he was just placing a little more distance between himself and a possible target.

Teyla joined him, raising her own P90.

Rodney stared at the monkeys with his jaw dropped. "What the...? Is that little brat telling on me?! You rat!" Suddenly, something brown and wet splattered against his chest, and his jaw dropped even further. "You've gotta be kidding me! _Feces_?!"

Ronon gave a confused look, not having heard that term before, but Teyla, who'd spent more time with myself and my team, smirked and covered her mouth as she and the Satedan dashed behind their own respective trees.

I couldn't help but laugh as he ducked behind the nearest tree and with a disgusted scowl, grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket, trying to wipe off his vest and shirt. "McKay, just be glad his aim wasn't a few inches higher."

He shot me one of the dirtiest looks I could ever recall.

Then, there was a sharp pain as something impacted hard against the back of my head. Reeling with the blow, I cried out in shock and stumbled forward, my hand going instinctively to the back of my head. "What the _hell_?!" There was blood on my hand. Shaking my head, I closed my eyes a moment as everything spun and when I opened them again, I moved, ducking behind one last tree. "Crap! Damn monkeys!"

"Ha! Now you know how _I_ felt!" Rodney seemed desperately trying to give me a triumphant look, but it failed miserably as he wrinkled his nose at the mess on his uniform. "Remind me to shoot the next person who tries to bring an alien animal home as a pet!"

Wincing at the pain that seemed to keep shooting through my skull, I peeked around the corner of the tree, and promptly ducked behind it again as another rock was thrown. "Great. They all seem to be against us. Hey, guys! It was McKay who hit Buttons, not us!"

Again Rodney gave me a dirty scowl.

The angry chittering had grown beyond Buttons and now seemed to be coming from most of the monkeys, as they jumped around in their trees and on the ground. Rocks, branches and feces were flying through the air, and poor McKay...

I felt and heard the snickers bubbling up, but did my hardest to suppress them at what happened. Ronon didn't even try, and Teyla looked too shocked to laugh. I mean, Rodney just _had_ to look around the tree at that one moment. He just _had_ to stick his entire face out in the open. And Buttons just _had_ to pick up and throw those feces at that very same moment.

_Talking about taking one for the team._ I stopped laughing as he turned to me, his brown face almost dripping, and the fire in his eyes warning me he was very close to wringing the necks of every last one of those monkeys, in a very Ronon-like manner. _And talk about revenge._

Despite the pain in my skull, and how everything kept threatening to get blurry on me, I nodded to Ronon, towards his blaster. "Ronon! Stun!"

Flipping his blaster out of it's holster, Ronon switched it to stun and ducked out from behind the tree long enough to blast three monkeys, knocking them out of the trees. I wanted to help, but as Ronon was the only one with a weapon capable of stunning... Why didn't we all bring stunners? It seemed like such a good idea, right about now.

Anyway, he took about three more out, when I felt a light weight on my back, and something tug painfully at my hair. "Hey!" Reaching back, I grabbed the warm, furry body, and felt guilty when it squeaked, telling me I'd squeezed too hard. Still, I pulled the body, and cried out as teeth sunk into my ear. _Ow, ow, OW!_ The damn thing was biting me, pulling my hair and digging it's filthy little claws into my neck!

There was a blast, and the body collapsed. Letting it go, I turned to find Buttons laying unconscious on the ground, and when I raised a hand to my ear, I winced and hissed as I felt the hot wetness on it. "Damn it!" As if my head wasn't already hurting! "Come on, we've returned the damn monkey! Let's get back!" Waiting for the others to take off, I ducked out from behind my tree and trailed them, occasionally moving to the side, so Ronon could aim back and stun another monkey.

There was another pain in my lower back, followed by one in the arm. Each hit sent me stumbling, and once, even to my knees. It was Teyla and Ronon who stayed back to help me up and stay with me, trying to halt at least some of the attacks. It made me wonder for a moment, why did they all seem to be coming after me?!

Then I realized Ronon had taken a hit of feces to the back, which I noticed when he ran off ahead, and a rock or branch to the arm, if the small cut meant anything. Teyla ran on ahead, also, although not as far, and when she spun back, I noticed little claw marks on her cheek.

By the time we reached the gate, Ronon had probably stunned most of the monkeys, and the rest had given up on following us. Despite the brutal attack, I still couldn't bring myself to shoot the monkeys, and came away pretty battered from the 'stoning' they gave me. Rodney had dialed and raced through already, the stench of monkey poop trailing behind him, and Teyla was standing by the active gate, protecting it and watching me with worry.

Gesturing to them, I waited as she ran through and shouted in surprise, pain and protest when Ronon grabbed my collar and actually _hauled_ me through the gate with them. Did I ever mention how strong that guy was??

"John! Oh my-Carson!"

Focusing on the gate room, it hit me how much brighter Atlantis' lights were, compared to the forest. I saw Elizabeth staring at me with worry, and two marines seemingly guarding Yvonne. She was staring at us in an open, honest mixture of emotions, although the most predominant one was laughter, when her gaze turned to Rodney.

_Oh, yeah. I forgot about her._ I thought vaguely as I felt Carson poking around at my ear. "Ouch! Hey, doc! Do you mind??"

"Sorry lad, but it looks like you got bitten pretty bad. You're gonna need stitches." He sighed as he felt around at my head. "Where else are you hurt?"

"Pretty much everywhere." I murmured, wiping at my eyes. "I got stoned." When I noticed a number of eyebrows raised, I realized how that sounded and glared at them all. "_Literally_. They tossed stones at me." Turning to the doc, I gave him a look when I saw the amusement in his eyes. "Hey, at least I didn't get hit with _feces_."

"Oh, hey, now!" Rodney was standing down at the other side of the gate room, taking towel after towel from a thoroughly disgusted looking marine as he struggled to get the remains of the monkey feces of his face. "That's _so_ not fair!" Handing the pile of dirty towels back to the marine, and ignoring the gag they let out, he turned and stalked off, muttering about taking a million showers and _still_ stinking of monkey poop.

Before he was gone out of sight, I did notice his upper arm was bandaged roughly and raised an eyebrow. I was fairly certain McKay hadn't been injured, but I could have been wrong. After all, I was so busy trying _not_ to get stoned, I wasn't paying too much attention to anything else.

Watching him, Elizabeth looked ready to start laughing. "_Monkey feces_??" She muttered with a look. "Wow, wonder how I'm gonna explain that in the report."

"You and me, both." I stated with a loud sigh, following Beckett out of the room, to the infirmary.

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I realized I didn't leave too much for a tag, so I inserted a little part with Rodney being injured, and lets see if anything can be done with that.

Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	20. Potent Pot Roast

Ok, when first reading the chapter title of chapter 53 of Rodney's Really Bad Days, 'Potent Potable', by **Debbie418uk2**, I had this immediate image of a radioactive or rotten pot roast. LOL. She explained to me that 'Potable' referred to a drink (Hope I explained that right), but now the image won't fade from my mind.

After a joking comment about making a chapter with pot roast, it was all a matter of who's story it should go in. Seeing as how Rodney would whine and blame Sheppard... Well, it would be a Really Bad Day for them both, but in my opinion, I can see it being a slightly worse day for John.

So the chapter _title_ of **Debbie**'s story is what brought me my muse for this chapter.

**Debbie418uk2** - It was a little different, but I couldn't help but giggle about it. This one, however... I think I busted up laughing while writing it, just because I could totally see the conversations and their faces. LOL I have 'The Revenge of Buttons' complete, but I'm going to wait until next week to post it. I wanted to post this one, first. ;)

**Jasminesmommy** - I think I would have felt the same way as him as soon as Buttons attacked him in the first place. I never would have made it to the crapping. LOL!

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Yeah, talk about a crappy day. LOL.

**x Varda x** - LOL At least in this case it was a 'John's Really Bad Day' and not both of them. I had to have the others get SOME splattering, though! LOL And besides, it's John. He's very biteable.

**E. Nagrom** - No, you're right. Did you read **Debbie**'s story? Everyone avoided them like a plague! LOL Glad to have you with us! I forgot which chapters were which, so I had to go and recheck the title of chapter 8 to see which one you were talking about. LOL, Yeah, I giggled to that one, too. Vala would use the innuendos everywhere, not just the mess hall, and probably not to just Daniel, either. ;)

**Brisk33** - Glad you liked it. Oh, **Debbie**'s story is where I got a lot of my ideas/muses, she does really great work. :)

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**(Atlantis, Infirmary, Normal POV)**

"I told you we shouldn't have eaten it."

"Yeah, and you almost got us stoned to death."

"I still think that would have been preferrable. Carson? I thought you were going to make the room stop spinning."

Giving a slight dismissive wave of his hand, Carson kept scrolling through some information on a data padd he was carrying. The only time he looked up was when a nurse walked over and handed him another one, and that was only so he could grimace.

Groaning, John glared at Rodney and swallowed heavily, trying to fight the rolling nausea in his stomach. "Look, it was their custom, and evidently, they had no problem with the food, ok?"

"It was _green_!"

Carson raised an eyebrow and gave them both an odd look.

"Not _that_ green!"

"That makes a difference?! Oh, what, if it's only _slightly_ green you'd have no problem eating it??" Rodney glared right back, clutching at his stomach, his face pale and also a little green himself.

"Well, maybe I thought it was mint flavored." Of course he was being sarcastic. John rolled his eyes and sighed, promptly catching his breath as his stomach rolled again. Leaning forward quickly, he grabbed the small bucket Carson had given him earlier, and lost more of their...unusual meal, that he'd eaten on P7M-886.

Shaking his head, Rodney groaned and covered his ears, closing his eyes, and holding his breath. "Oh, god! Please don't do that!" His face had turned even greener and he cast a glance at his own small bucket. As soon as John's gagging had let up, he uncovered his ears and narrowed his eyes. "And how the _hell_ did you get it being mint flavored? Did you even _smell _it?! _Definitely_ not mint flavored!"

Reaching into his pocket, Carson grabbed a small bottle and seemed to regard it a moment before putting it on a nearby desk and going over to the cabinet to grab another bottle. Once he had it, he picked up the other and took another moment to regard them.

"No duh, Rodney." John swallowed heavily again and wiped his sweaty face on a towel. "You really don't need to be reminding me of the smell, ok?"

"Oh, gee, and here I was, having a field day remembering it." Letting out a very small but powerful sigh, Rodney slumped sideways on the gurney and let his head rest on the pillow. "I still say being stoned to death would have been preferrable. How the hell'd Ronon and Teyla get out of it??"

"You know Athosian and Satedan stomachs." Grumbling to himself, John followed Rodney's example, but a lot more slowly and gently.

"Alright, that's enough you two." Carson walked over and handed them each a bottle. "Those are tums, should help with your upset stomachs." When he received a look, he raised his eyebrow. "Would you rather I gave you nothing? I don't dare try anything else until I know more, and your blood tests are not back yet. First of all, I need to know what you ate in particular."

"Pot roast." John answered promptly, popping the bottle open and taking two of the small tablets.

Rodney grimaced and repeated the action, taking two himself before eyeing the bottle and hesitantly putting the cap back on. "_Pot roast_?! I sincerely _doubt_ that's what it was."

"It was a hunk of meat and looked like pot roast."

"Sure, that's why it was _green_ and smelled funny."

"Ok, so it was kinda bad pot roast..."

"More like radioactive." Scoffing, Rodney sighed and rubbed his head. "And then there were the potatoes."

"I'd say squash." John seemed thoughtful for a moment. "At least that's what color they were, but yeah, they were kinda...potato shaped."

Frowning for a moment, Carson typed that into his data pad. "Ok, so you ate green roast and potato-squash things?" Pausing in mid-type, Carson stared at them pointedly. "And _why'd_ you eat the green pot roast?"

"That's what _I'm_ trying to understand." Rodney groaned in disbelief, swallowing heavily as his face turned even greener.

"It was their culture. I didn't wanna insult them." John raised his hands and shrugged. "Besides, Teyla and Ronon seemed like everything was ok."

"In your own words, Colonel, you know Athosian and Satedan stomachs." Turning to one of his nurses, Carson asked her to send for Teyla and Ronon. "So they are obviously showing no sign of illness. I should have all your blood work back soon, but for now, I want you both to rest." Seeing John's head turn towards Rodney, he narrowed his eyes. "That's an order."

With resigned sighs, both men carefully laid out on their beds and relaxed a little.

Sighing himself, Carson turned and stalked into another room, just waiting until one of them started up.

**(Later)**

"So the food wasn't poisoned."

"Could've fooled me."

"McKay... Be nice." John sat up in his bed and eyed Teyla and Ronon warily as they stood there, seemingly perfectly healthy.

"Well, you could have!" Rodney remained laying down, but turned his head and glared at John, his face even more pale than it was earlier. "So, I ate the pot roast to keep from being stoned to death, and that's why I get to die of food poisoning instead. Nice. Very nice."

"Rodney, relax. The food wasn't poisoned. There were trace amounts of a mold present in your bodies, but when analysed, it seemed to be generally the same sort of stuff you'd find from rotten meat."

Rodney gagged and leaned over the side of his bed quickly. The others grimaced and tried to tune out the sounds before they ended up joining him.

Forcibly ignoring him, Carson kept staring straight ahead. "It's to a stronger degree however, so I'm gonna have to give you something stronger to help you get over the symptoms. I will tell you now, though, it's gonna take a couple days at least."

"Great." John looked at Rodney, winced, and looked away. Seeing a look flash through Ronon's eyes, and how uncomfortable Teyla seemed, his eyes narrowed and he raised an eyebrow. "Ok, spit it out." Seeing their confused looks, he sighed loudly and promptly gagged. _Ok, bad coice of words._ Luckily, though, he managed to get his body under control and relaxed a little as the nausea faded away. "I meant, just say what's on your mind."

"Perhaps, we should let you rest." Teyla's discomfort seemed to grow as Rodney let out a particularly loud gag.

"No, I think you should tell me what's on your mind." John narrowed his eyes even more, and made his face about as stern as he could, even though he had a feeling he was going to regret hearing what they had to say.

Looking at Ronon for a moment, she seemed to hesitate but turned back to their leader. "We were contacted by the leader of the Akarim. He was intrigued by you and wished for us to return to the planet to discuss more options for the trading alliance."

Staring at them blankly for a moment, Rodney's eyes rolled back in his head and he leaned a little too far to the side, falling right out of the bed. The only thing that stopped him from making a head dive into the floor, was Ronon's quick reflexes, as the Satedan caught him and helped the now unconscious scientist back into his bed.

"Well, I guess we know who's _not_ going." Carson stated with a firm glance to the others.

"Umm..." Looking at Rodney, then at himself, and finally at the others, John was decidedly uncomfortable. "Is there going to be another feast?"

It was Teyla's turn to wince, but she nodded quietly.

With a nod of his own, John almost lunged over the other side of his bed as the mere thought of the food made him lose it.

**(P7M-886, John's POV)**

Staggering through the field with Teyla and Ronon on either side of me, I really questioned what I was thinking of, agreeing to come back. At least this time I planned to talk to them about the feast. Maybe it wouldn't be absolutely necessary to eat.

Then again, that could be a very quick way to ending all our misery. What, with the stoning and all.

As I stumbled sideways again, I felt a hand on my arm and saw Teyla looking at me in worry. "I'm fine, really."

Raising her eyebrow, she seemed like she was going to say something, but remained quiet and nodded slightly, still holding on to my arm as we made our way to the village. "We will be there shortly."

I never really paid much attention to how long we walked. My mind was focused on not knocking Teyla over, and after the glares I started to get, not walking into Ronon at all. Did I ever mention how scary he can be? Either way, we soon made it to the village, where we were met with the very friendly villagers, and the over enthusiastic leader, K'ual Daniin.

I say over enthusiastic, because, well...

"My dear friends!"

_Oh boy. Here it comes._ I tried to dodge as the large man who resembled an older generation of Egyptian men, came rushing over with his arms out. However, due to my slower reflexes, he managed to catch me, and the next thing I knew, I was enveloped in a bear hug tight enough to make most men pass out. As soon as he started squeezing, I started gagging. The nausea came rushing back with a blinding speed, and spots danced in my vision as I struggled not to be sick all over this man.

"K'ual!" Teyla called warningly, shaking her head. "He is very ill."

Funny. When she mentioned that, he backed off even faster than he'd run forward. I didn't think anyone, human or alien, could move that fast.

"What has happened?" K'ual' gestured to two of the young females that always seemed to follow him around and they hurried away. Staring at us in worry, he frowned at me and seemed to keep a safe distance. "Was he not well the last time we met?"

"He was..." Teyla seemed to hesitate a moment.

It was that moment a particularly nasty smell hit my nose. It smelled like the pot roast from the 'last time we met', but about ten times worse. As the smell seemed to ooze forward, yes, I said _ooze_, I turned and made the fastest mad dash out of the village, anyone had ever seen. Seeing a big, fat tree in front of me, I ran around behind it and lost it.

"I will return!" I heard Teyla's voice from behind me, and for a brief moment, wondered how the hell she'd kept up. But that quickly fled my mind as I felt her arms come around my waist. I was hunched over, one hand on the tree, and the other across my stomach as I struggled to breathe. My legs were shaky, so I let myself collapse against the tree in a lean. "John!"

"Oh, god!" Gasping and choking, I swallowed heavily and grabbed a handkerchief from my pocket to wipe off my face. "Tell me that smell was _not_ what they were planning to serve us!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Teyla wince and look uncertain.

"What did they do, leave the pot roast out in the sun all day and re-heat it??" Gagging again, I took a deep breath and held it, counting to ten before letting it out very slowly. "I dunno if I can do this."

"We can always return to Atlantis. Ronon can take you back, and I can stay and explain-"

"Ok." I held up a hand a little, and as soon as I could, stood up straight. "That's probably a good idea." I didn't like the idea of leaving Teyla alone here, with no clue as to how K'ual would react to the news we weren't going to eat, but two things made up my mind. One, if I stayed any longer, I sure as hell was going to humiliate us all in the village, and probably insult them big time by passing out during dinner, and two, it was Teyla. Not only could she obviously handle the food, she sure as hell could kick my ass in a fight any day. In all honesty, I think I'd be more worried about the Akarim than her.

"Will you come back to the village with me, to get Ronon?"

Taking a deep breath, I made a face and covered my nose as a very weak but still pretty potent hint of that smell made it's way over to us. Shaking my head, I kept my hand over my nose. "No." I knew my voice was coming out nasally, and saw Teyla's grin. That only made me glare at her. "I think I'll wait here."

"Alright. I'll go get him." She turned and walked off.

Leaning once again against the tree, I sighed. This was entirely too embarrassing, and I could only hope I hadn't offended K'ual by running off the way I had. The only reason I'd come in the first place, was in favor of our trade alliance for special medical supplies. A potion the Akarim created seemed to heal up all sorts of infections almost immediately, when placed on a fresh wound. It didn't heal the wound, just the infection, but that alone could be worth a lot.

"Hey."

Turning to Ronon, I raised a hand, not really feeling nodding would be a good idea. Without even saying a word, I began the trek back to the gate with him, aware when he stayed a little closer than usual. Luckily, I didn't stumble too much, but whenever I did, he was there to catch my arm.

**(Lunch Room, Two Days Later, Normal POV)**

Sitting at the lunch table with Rodney, John sighed and looked at his tray. He was feeling pretty good, almost completely better, and the way Rodney was going at his food, the same could be said for him. Luckily Teyla came back in one piece, talking about how sorry K'ual was that they'd been made sick by their food, and how impressed he was that they ate it just for his sake.

Of course, that only served to make John sick, as she recounted the stew they'd had for dinner. He wasn't sure, because he'd passed out when Ronon took sick delight in describing it, but it might have been some alien variant of blood stew.

Without even needing to look into a mirror, John knew he was turning green, but looking at the plate in front of him, he couldn't help it.

"What's wrong?"

He glanced up at Rodney and raised an eyebrow. "Just wondering who's sick idea of a joke this is." When he saw Rodney's confused face, John sighed and gestured to his plate. "Pot roast and potatoes."

When it hit Rodney, his eyes went wide and he stopped chewing immediately. Looking down at his plate, he promptly turned green, pushed his chair away from the table and ran out of the lunch room with his hand over his mouth, faster than John had ever seen him move.

With a sigh, John pushed his plate away and got up. Walking over to the food, he grabbed a fruit cup and a fork before leaving the lunch room and making way straight to his room. "I'm never gonna look at roast the same way again." He muttered on his way out.

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	21. The Revenge of Buttons

My tag to **Debbie**'s tag, which is a tag to... Ok... Here...

1) Rodney's Really Bad Days (RRBDs), chapter 45, 'No Good Deed Goes Unpunished'

2) John's Really Bad Days (JRBDs), chapter 14, "Rodney's Revenge"

3) RRBDs, chapter 51, 'Buttons'.

4) JRBDs, chapter 19, "Monkey Madness"

5) RRBDs, chapter 58, 'Buttons Returns'

LOL this is turning into a mini series!

(Giggles at 'John's Really Bad Dates') There's an idea for a story. LOL!

**Debbie418uk2** - Doesn't that just suck? Now imagine Rodney's reaction once John tells him about the not having to eat it part. LOL I couldn't help but giggle at that chapter, I thought it was cute.

**Jasimesmommy - **Well, Rodney didn't seem to have a problem... Until John pointing out what they were eating.

**x Varda x** - LOL the things people will eat. I'm surprised you DID have cat sized rats in the walls. They survived after eating all that?! :O

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Because it's the traditions of the people. If you don't eat it, you risk offending the people. ;) LOL You're right though, I think I'd prefer the stoning to the food poisoning.

**Brisk33** - That's John for you. Trying to make sure to keep up good trade relations... Only to find out he didn't have to eat the food in the first place.

Here's an early update (I got a lot written in the last few days). I won't have a lot of access to a computer between October 26th and November 1 (around there), and I will be having all four wisdom teeth out on November 10th, so I might not be up to writing or posting for about a week. I'll try to post right before and after I get back.

Hope you enjoy it.

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**(P4X-379, Normal POV)**

_(Summary)_

Well, everyone thought it was over. Bobo was shot and killed, Buttons returned to her home, again, and Yvonne shipped back out to earth. Out of all this, Rodney had been strung out for dinner, attacked by a man-eating plant, attacked by an alien monkey, crapped by an alien monkey, attacked by an alien monkey again... Then there was John. He suffered really bad dates, cub-hunting duty, attacked by a man-eating plant, monkey escort duty and being stoned and crapped, then an alien monkey attack again.

Still, poor Rodney had gotten the worst of it all. It made everyone wonder how much more they could handle before losing what was left of their minds.

But again, it was all over, right?

_(Present)_

A single monkey stood on the DHD by the foot of the gate, staring at the symbols. It had short white hair with brown streaks, and was staring at each of the buttons as he stood on the big, red, center one. Reaching out hesitantly, he pressed one he remembered seeing being pressed before, and he jumped off the device with a squeak when it lit up and the gate began to move.

After a second, his head popped up from behind a nearby tree and his big eyes glittered curiously as he slowly approached the now active device. Jumping up onto it again, he tilted his head, his fangs gleaming, and he began to jump up and down with loud screeching sounds as he looked down to a small group of monkeys on the ground next to them.

One was clearly a female, having no fangs and no brown streaks. She held a small device in her hands with a few small buttons on it, and seemed to be pressing them randomly. Then, she seemed to get an idea and kept pressing them in a certain order.

Buttons, having been returned home, again, was sitting at the base of a tree with such a desolate look on her face. Bobo, the other monkey taken, had not returned home, but the others had found out from Buttons that the humans had killed him.

As the gate powered down, the large male monkey on the DHD screamed angrily, and answering screams came from the woods around him as more and more monkeys hurriedly began making their way to the clearing. He turned back to the device and began pressing the buttons rapidly in the same order he'd seen the humans do.

Maybe no one realized, but monkeys were smart. Smarter than anyone ever gave them credit before. They'd seen the humans do it a few times now. As the gate finally finished dialing, and the wormhole stabilized, he nodded down to the female who pressed the same order of buttons, and jumped excitedly. Buttons looked up from her perch on the ground and stood up slowly, holding a small feathered ball. Her look hardened as she walked over to the larger male who had hopped of the DHD, and leaned into his arm with a low growl.

**(Atlantis, John's POV)**

"Oh come on. Look, I said I was sorry!" Groaning, I held up another cup of coffee to Rodney who was busy working on a project he never bothered to explain. "How long are you going to hold this over me??"

"Until I deem we're even." Rodney looked up haughtily and raised an eyebrow. "Or are you forgetting that I seriously ended up with the short end of the stick here?"

"Forget? With you constantly reminding me? I'm _sorry_, Rodney! Besides, you're not the only one who got crapped and beaten, alright?" Putting the cup of coffee down, I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "You're seriously gonna make me get all your coffee for you?"

"Well, it does take a lot of time to leave the lab, get the coffee and return to the lab. With you getting it for me, I can focus on my work and get more work done, faster." He rationalized.

"And how long were you planning on keeping this up, exactly?"

"Oh, I don't know, a while at least…"

"Rodney…"

"Ok, ok." Holding up his hand he sighed. "A week, ok? I'll call us event afterwards." He hesitated a moment. "As long as you don't pull any more babysitting favors. You know, you'd think you'd realize that the dates don't even turn out in the end."

I paused a moment to think about it. Give McKay more hassle, or accept it since I really did kind of owe him one… Him pointing out the pretty bad dates was kind of a point against him, since I wasn't really in the mood for being reminded, but he _did_ have a point about getting the short end of the stick. I was saved from a decision as the alarm sounded.

"Unscheduled off world activation!"

Frowning, I glanced at McKay before tapping my radio. "Sheppard here, what's going on?"

There was a moment of pause before Chuck's voice came over the line, and I felt my heart plummet with dread. "It's Lt. Johnson's IDC, sir."

_Lt. Johnson…?_ "Isn't he…?"

"Back on base already, sir. I'm running scans to find out if it is a fake or not." Another moment of silence and a beep from the other end. "Sir, it's authentic."

Glancing to Rodney, I raised an eyebrow before turning and walking briskly out of the room. "I'm on my way. See if you can contact the Lt." I hesitated a moment, unsure what Elizabeth would say in my stead, but she was currently at the SGC, dealing with the IOA. "Uh, I guess, lower the shield, too, but keep the security tight in the gate room."

"Understood, sir."

"Right. I'll be there shortly. Sheppard out." Tapping my radio, I saw Teyla walking down the hall and flagged her down as I kept on my track to the control room. "We might have a problem." I informed her grimly. "Remember Lt. Johnson? He's the one who got crapped in the side of the head and covered with monkeys at one point on the second return trip?" I probably would have laughed at the memory, if the situation wasn't worrying.

She nodded, a sparkle of amusement shining in her dark eyes. "I do."

"Well someone just dialed in using his IDC, but he returned with the rest of the team, so we have no idea who it is."

"Perhaps it is a fake?"

"Nope. Chuck ran scans and it appears that it's the real deal." Frowning a little, I almost jumped as I heard gunfire from the gate room and the lights went out. "What the hell?!" The backups came on, but they did little to illuminate the massive halls.

"What's happening??"

"I have no idea, but I intend to find out." I almost growled, dashing to the doors that lead to the gate room. Instantly, without even entering the room, I smelled something I really wished I hadn't, and was ready to grab a gun and start shooting. _You have _got_ to be kidding me! Not again…!_

I turned the corner and my suspicions were confirmed. Dozens of monkeys were running around the gate room, some swinging from rafters and others dashing through the halls, dodging under people's feet, and some were even attacking the male marines who were shooting at them.

Watching Captain Simpson get hit in the face with feces, I winced and ducked back behind the corner of the doorway, grabbing Teyla's arm as I went.

My radio chirped, and I hit it, tempted to turn it right back off again when I heard McKay's screeching voice on the other end.

"What the _hell_ is going on?! I'm trying to get work done if you people don't mind! Do you _think_ you could turn the lights back on in here?!"

"Uh, that's a negative, McKay, unless you feel like wading through a sea of really pissed off monkeys."

There was silence on the other end, and for a moment I wondered if he'd even heard me. Looking at Teyla, I saw the smirk threatening to form at the corners of her mouth and raised an eyebrow. I was about to open her mouth and tell her I was completely serious when it seemed Rodney came back to the world of the living.

"Oh that is _so_ not funny, Colonel! I don't know who you're trying to-"

"McKay!" Hissing a little when my voice carried, I gestured for Teyla to follow me and began walking towards the nearest transporter. "Are you forgetting those damn things tortured me, too? Why the hell would I joke about something like this?!"

"Are you… Are you trying to tell me we have a monkey revolution on our hands?!"

I paused for a moment and stared blankly down the hall. _Well, now that you mention it…_ "That sounds about right, yes."

"Who the _hell_ was stupid enough to let them on to the base?!"

Opening my mouth, I was about to mirror the sentiment when I realized the truth and promptly closed my mouth again. _Note to self: Make sure to find out _where_ the IDC is coming from before giving orders to lower the shield, next time._ "I….have no idea." Continuing my walk to the transporter, I waited until Teyla climbed on board with me and transported to another network of hallways. "Uh, listen, McKay, we're gonna try and stop them. You… You stay wherever you are, and call for Ronon."

"Right." He almost sounded suspicious. "Well, keep me informed, and if I get crapped again, you can add another three months on to your sentence!"

Wincing a little at Teyla's curious look, I shook my head. "Don't push it Rodney. Sheppard out." Hitting my radio, I gave her a look I was certain told her not to ask questions, and entered the armory.

Grabbing two pistols, I handed one to Teyla before strapping the other around my thigh and securing the gun in the holster. Then I grabbed two stunners and our tac vests. Once suitably armed, I sighed at the number of feces covered people who were running around like lunatics, and gestured quietly for Teyla to take one hall as I took the other.

As I headed down the hall, I saw tons of monkeys all over the place and paused in my pursuit. Tapping my radio, I felt my eyes narrow. "Chuck, you there?"

A moment of silence, and I wondered if our control room had been breached. Then his voice came over the com and I sighed quietly. "Sir, I'm still here, sir. We barely managed to seal off the control room."

"That's good. Care to tell me what we're dealing with?"

"Well, it uh… It looks like one of the monkeys had Lt. Johnson's IDC. I have him here and he admitted that when he looked for it, he couldn't find it."

"And he didn't think to tell us this earlier, because…?"

"Well, he apparently thought it was somewhere in his room, and that he'd find it."

I blasted two monkeys with the stunners and looked around for a place to put their bodies, so they couldn't cause trouble when they woke up again. "You know, if that's really the case, I'd be interested in seeing the state of the Lt.'s room." Seeing a closet, I ducked inside. There was a single vent, but with a little maneuvering, I managed to get a really heavy box against it. "Ok, so tell me plain and simple. How many monkeys are we dealing with?"

"…About three dozen or so, sir." Came the quiet reply.

"Chuck…?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Why the hell didn't you close down the gate when the first monkey came through?!"

"I, uh… I mean, I…was kind of shocked. I wasn't expecting monkeys to pour out of the gate, Colonel, honest!"

"Fine." Closing my eyes a moment, I shook my head and walked back out into the hallway, shooting at more of the monkeys. "Just get that gate dialed, and get as many back through as possible."

"Yes, sir."

"Sheppard out."

Once I'd stunned a few more monkeys, and scared even more off, I grabbed the unconscious monkeys and a panicked marine, and threw them all in the closet. "Hey!" As soon as I had the marine's attention, I glanced pointedly at the monkeys. "You need to get these guys back to the gate room A.S.A.P, understood, soldier?"

He hesitated but slowly nodded, and bent to pick two of them up.

"Good." Turning, I made my way out of the room and down the hall. When I came to a fork, I was a little surprised, confused and suspicious as to why it was totally deserted. "That's….odd." Frowning. I looked in all directions and paused as I spotted a particularly big monkey alongside the one I'd now come to recognize as buttons. They were heading down the hallway in the opposite direction from me, and I felt my eyes narrow. _What's in that direction…?_

Suddenly, my eyes widened.

"Crap! The labs! Rodney!" Dashing down the hall, I tapped my radio. "Rodney, do you read??"

"I'm here, Colonel. What's the problem now?" He sounded his usual annoyed self. "Some people are trying to get work done, you know."

"Is Ronon there with you?"

"Not yet. He's on his way, though, why?"

"Cause you got trouble heading in your direction right now."

"Trouble…what?"

"Remember that cute, loveable little monkey Yvonne adored, a short while ago? You know, the one that got us both attacked and crapped?"

He was silent for a moment before I heard him cursing with a zeal I'd never heard him use before. Hesitating for a split second, I shook my head and tapped my radio off before raising my stunner and continuing on.

**(In the Labs, Normal POV)**

"Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT!" Rodney got up and prowled around his lab for a moment, angrily. He eyes the room and sighed, having a feeling he was seriously going to get the short end of this stick, as well.

The room was small, as it wasn't the usually lab everyone used. It had two entrances and exits, both leading into the same hall, and one large table in the middle of the room with his computer on it. Other than his computer, the only other thing he had was the coffee mug. Not exactly the best weapon.

"Come on Ronon, now would be good." Looking around, he hesitated and walked to the one doorway. For a moment, he hesitated before ducking his head out and looking both ways. "Huh, nothing." Not sure if he should be disappointed, he ducked back in and turned around, yelping and jumping about three feet off the ground. "_Ronon!_"

The big Satedan grinned ferally and raised an eyebrow. "McKay."

"Damn it, do you _have_ to sneak up on me like that?! Look, John just got a hold of me, we have a couple…uh, trouble makers-"

"You mean monkeys." It was not really clear if Ronon looked about ready to keel over laughing, to stare incredulously at Rodney. "Buttons and a big male?" He tapped his ear.

Seeing the radio, Rodney raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't see fit to make a comment because….?"

"Monkeys in the hall." He gestured over his shoulder before holding up his blaster. "Didn't wanna alert them."

"Huh, that's…that's great. Listen, you didn't happen to find Buttons or that big…" Seeing Ronon shaking his head, Rodney groaned and rolled his eyes before going back to his computer. "Well, Conan, you keep an eye out for the big, evil monkeys and I'll get back to work." Rubbing at his eyes in exhaustion, Rodney sat back down and sighed before leaning over his keyboard and getting back to work.

Glaring at him for a moment, Ronon shook his head and turned away. After hearing the name the first few times, he never picked up on it, but after a marine explained… Well, in all honesty, it didn't bother him _that_ much. Then again, Rodney really didn't need to know that. Seeing the said scientist glance up at him, he narrowed his eyes and glared, then bit back a grin as Rodney's eyes widened and his head ducked back down to work.

**(In the Halls, John's POV)**

Dodging another flying monkey, I growled and shot out with my pistol, hitting it in the side and wincing before shooting it again. "Crap!"

Not long after I'd contacted Rodney, I came across a large group of monkeys, and before I could duck out of sight, they'd seen me. So here I was in a major shoot out, trying to keep those damn monkeys off of me.

Suddenly, there was a light weight on my back, and reaching back, I felt a sharp pain in my hand. "OW!" _What the hell's with these monkeys and attacking from behind?!_ Snatching the little bugger by the…well, arm, I thought, I dragged it forward and tossed it at the far wall before dodging back and staring a moment at the bleeding bite mark on my hand. "Great. Just what I needed." Glancing up, I spotted my stunner only a few feet away, and noticed two of the monkeys playing with it. "Oh, hey! Put that down before you-crap!" Ducking, I barely managed to avoid the blast that was aimed at my face.

The monkeys hopped up and down excitedly with the stunner in their hands, but one of them tripped and dropped it, and it blasted as it hit the ground, taking down the distant form of Buttons, who'd joined their little group.

"Ok, that was a lucky break." I muttered, ducking out from behind the corner and shooting at the ground near the blaster. Hearing angry screeches, I groaned and looked back over, seeing the bigger male run into view and grab hold of Buttons' body. "Or…..maybe not."

Turning back to the stunner, I holstered my pistol and dove into the fray, knowing that I was getting low on bullets. I managed to grab it, despite the sharp pain in my arm, and the little claws I could feel digging into my neck. Raising it quickly, I aimed and shot the big male before turning and shooting three more monkeys. Grabbing the one behind me, I threw it and was ready to let out a Ronon-like growl as I shot it with the stunner, too.

Unfortunately, I'd failed to realize just how outnumbered I was. As I looked around, I found myself surrounded by pretty angry monkeys who were circling me warily, and checking the energy level on the stunner I realized it was low. "Oh man, this is _not_ good!"

Hearing snarling, I looked back out and stood up slowly, taking a single step back. It was about then I realized that not only was I surrounded, there was no where I could go to get away. It was just an empty, long hallway with the only four doors being closed and locked, in order to reduce the areas the monkeys could get to.

There was a blast, and jumping in surprise, I turned and found Ronon leaning out of one of the doors. Funny how it was then I realized I was right outside the lab Rodney was in. "Huh. Well, how do you like that?" Turning, I blasted three monkeys before jumping in through the door and sighing a little as I stood with my back against the wall.

"How many you get?"

"I didn't stop to count." I muttered with a hiss as I grabbed a field dressing from my vest pocket and slapped it over the bite on my hand. "Damn those things bite hard!"

"Gee, you think?" Rodney muttered from his place by his computer. He had a pistol and was watching the doorway warily.

Rolling my eyes at him I sighed and turned to Ronon. "Well come on, we've still got monkeys to hunt."

**(Infirmary, Later)**

As Carson bandaged my hand, which had suffered at least two more bites, my upper arm which got claws crapped and bitten, and the gash in my side, where one of the monkeys shot me, I winced and frowned. "We should lock that planet out of the DHD or something. Who was it who dropped their gun, again?"

"Captain West." Rodney rolled his eyes as he stood next to the others, not hurt for once.

"And how many monkeys got on to Atlantis?"

"At last count, 32." Teyla raised an eyebrow. "And we are now certain they have all been recaptured and returned to their home world, before their DHD was disconnected."

"And how much of Atlantis now reeks of…?"

"About 27 percent, sir." A single marine was standing with a computer tablet in his hands. "And those sections are now being cleaned with lemon juice."

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! Hello! Deathly allergic to citrus, here!" Rodney was glaring at the young man. "I want a map with all those places clearly pointed out!"

"Yes, sir, and we've sealed off these sections, as well as any vents leading to and from them. The cleaning should be done within the hour, and then a thorough sanitizing will be done."

"Right. Yeah, well, who's stupid idea was it to let those monkeys into Atlantis, anyways?!"

Looking down at my hand while Carson finished bandaging it, I sighed and glared at him as he was beginning to smirk. "So how bad is it, doc?" I asked through gritted teeth.

He shrugged and sighed. "Well, it's a good thing the bites are more or less harmless. You didn't even need stitches this time, but those are going to hurt for a while." Grabbing a small bottle of pills out of his pocket, he handed them over. "Tylenol 3, take one every 6 or 8 hours as needed."

With a nod, I took the pills and sighed heavily. "Remind me to _thank_ Yvonne for all this." Wincing, I jumped off the bed and stalked out of the infirmary, not at all looking forward to my report to Elizabeth. Or the explanation of why her office would probably still stink of monkey crap for a while.

I think, monkeys had finally made their way up to the top of the list of 'Things I hate the most', along with Iratus Bugs. _Man! I hate those things!_

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	22. Allergic

This is one of my older chapters. I might post some of my older ones first, just to get them posted. I'll warn you now, some of them are not very good, as my muse backed me into a corner halfway through them.

But as a recent graduate (Adult High School, a week ago), I am doing a bonus credit (co-op) and it gives me up to three and a half hours to write on my stories, daily, five days a week. I've written seven chapters as of this past Saturday, so I'm going to post early.

**Debbie418uk2** - I thought I didn't leave you an opening to do a tag? LOL Well, if you can, I look forward to reading it, and if not, that's alright. Well, I didn't _mean_ to have the last word, I just wrote whatever came to mind, and it was fun, so... LOL John? Admit he let them in? ...Naaaahhhhhhh...

**x Varda x** - Well, when it comes to survival, you do what you have to do. I don't blame John, but it is a shame. It's just the way those monkeys were, they didn't _mean_ to cause any harm. John just happened to be a man. ...A very biteable man... LOL

**Jasminesmommy** - Glad you liked it. :)

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**(Alien Village, John's POV)**

It's funny. For a while now, we've been finding planets with friendly villages, and ones that _don't_ have things to hide, at that. Sure, we still have the occasional run in with the Wraith.

Ok, ok. _More _than occasional run ins.

And the Genii still like to pop up when we least expect it, but still... We haven't found any ZPMs, however, but trade alliances for food, medical supplies, and more? We've made tons of friends!

And right now, we're in the middle of a celebration with one of these such friends. They recently had a marriage, so the celebration supposedly goes on for several days, and all are welcome to join in.

Trust me, you didn't have to tell Ronon twice. Once Rodney saw some pretty girls smiling at him, his own protests died on his lips, and Teyla was deep in discussion with the newlyweds.

"Teyla." Shaking my head, I tried not to laugh. "It's an earth term." I'd accidentally called them newlyweds, forgetting Rodney was the only other one here, who'd know what I was talking about. "It means 'newly married'." _I think._

She smiled and nodded, as if she should have known that. "I see. They are more than happy to have us join them on the celebration."

Nodding, I took a small bowl of fruit from a young woman who was giving me a _very_ interesting look. "Thanks." I stated, feeling a little awkward. Sure, she was pretty, but I didn't exactly feel comfortable here. They _seemed_ nice enough, but I guess... Maybe I was just a little too wound. Taking a single piece of fruit, I sniffed it carefully before taking a taste.

It was shaped like a tomato, with the same skin texture and when I bit into it, it had the same type of innards that a tomato usually has. Only, when I bit into it, it had a distinctive strawberry taste, only a little more tart than I was used to. All in all, it wasn't bad.

And there were five of them in the bowl.

"Do you know if they wanna trade fruits like these..." I held up the tomato...berry...thing. "For anything?"

Looking at me a moment, Teyla's eyes narrowed in confusion at the berry-tomato, before she raised an eyebrow. "I can ask. They have offered us several items as gifts, for us to take back to Atlantis with us."

Pausing for a moment, I stared at the newlywed couple as they kissed and shared one of those berry-tomato fruits between them. Feeling my face heat up, I turned back to my own bowl and shrugged. "Ok. We should get heading back, then. We're due to report in, soon."

With a nod, Teyla turned and spoke to the couple as I took my bowl, finished off the fruits, licked my fingers clean and headed for where I'd parked the jumper.

It didn't take the others too long, before they made it back to the jumper, Rodney complaining the whole way that we could have left him there. As they strapped themselves in, I frowned a bit as I felt a heat wave move through my body. It was like I'd walked through a really hot sun patch, and then back into the shade. I'd only been in the jumper for maybe half an hour, waiting for the others, so I didn't understand where that had come from.

_That's odd._ Raising an eyebrow, I powered up the jumper and took off. We still had a good two hour ride back to the gate, alone.

I think we were a little over halfway back to the gate, when the shivers hit. It was like the earlier hot flash, only stronger and more frequent, and I wasn't able to help myself as my body shivered after each one.

"Colonel? Are you alright?" I felt Teyla's soft grip on my arm, and felt my eyes narrow when it brought home how tingly my arm felt, as if it was over sensitive.

Shaking my head, I nodded, trying not to wince when everything in my line of vision spun. "Yeah, just..." I shivered again, and took a deep breath as I felt a headache begin to pound at my skull. "Not feeling well."

"Are you ill?"

_Sure as hell feels like it._ "Just a little warm. I'm good."

"Warm? You are shivering."

"I'm fine, Teyla." I put in, a little more forcefully than I'd meant to. Looking at her, I sighed. "Sorry. We're almost back, I'll have Carson check me out when we get back to Atlantis."

She nodded quietly, her eyes filled with worry.

The jumper had gone too quiet. Ronon wasn't one for talking much, so on his part, that wasn't saying much. Teyla was usually quiet, and on her part, I think she was still worried about me. Rodney, now Rodney was a good one for talking fast and loud enough to make up for Teyla and Ronon, and even _he _was being overly quiet.

Vaguely, I wondered if Rodney had eaten any of this fruit, and if he was feeling odd at all. Was it poisonous, to us, maybe? Or an allergic reaction? Maybe it was some kind of toxin in the air, but then, why didn't the others seem to be affected?

Finally, the nausea hit. I swallowed heavily as my vision spun, and I distantly heard Teyla calling Rodney to take over for me. My stomach heaved as the jumper lurched, and I felt soft, delicate hands on mine, pulling them off the controls.

The jumper lurched again, and this time I went with it, grabbing my stomach as I took and held a deep breath. It seemed to help a little, so I took several breaths, trying to calm my stomach. I saw a couple of pills in front of me, and distantly heard Ronon's voice say something, 'asprin' being the only word that I could understand. But I couldn't even hold that down.

Hell, just looking at it was making me even more nauseous. Forget hot, I was starting to feel cold, and I could hear my teeth chattering. I heard voices talking louder, and I winced as they seemed to echo through my skull.

"Colonel."

Everything kept spinning. My body was trembling, and I felt so cold now, as opposed to how hot I felt before. My hands were almost numb, and my legs hurt like hell. I was light headed, I could feel my heart pounding and hear my heavy panting. It was all so much to take in.

I felt a warm body wrap itself around me, and a blanket over us both. I barely made out the contact when soft fingers touched my neck, and Teyla spoke to the others, her words unintelligable. It was like I was fading in and out, and it was getting harder to breathe. It actually felt like my throat was closing.

"Atlantis, this is jumper one! We have a medical emergency!" Rodney called frantically.

"Just take deep breaths, Colonel."

"What's wrong with him?"

"I do not know. John, you must keep breathing."

It hurt to breathe. It _really_ hur to breathe! My lungs ached fiercly, and I felt my body slip out of trembling and into convulsing. My vision went right black, but I was certain I was still conscious. Feeling lips on my own, it occurred to me, I wasn't breathing.

"We need to get him to the infirmary, now!"

More lips, more air being blown into my lungs.

I vaguely recalled hoping to god, it was Teyla performing mouth to mouth. Then I recalled thinking that it wasn't working. I still couldn't breath. There was a garbled voice, and a sharp pain in my leg.

Hot, cold, shivers, convulses, I couldn't breathe. Everything hurt, everything was numb, I couldn't see, I could hear, but it was like listening through water. I couldn't talk or move, and finally...everything faded and I felt myself relax as blissful silence took over.

**(Later, Normal POV)**

"Does anyone know what caused the reaction?" Elizabeth was quiet as she looked at the large group of gifts in front of her. She had sorted through them, and was eyeing the foods and drinks doubiously.

Teyla shook her head, and Ronon and Rodney had the sense to look guilty, each knowing they hadn't been watching over their CO while in a strange, alien city. Abruptly, Teyla frowned.

"He mentioned a fruit, that he was eating. He did not say much, only that he wished to know if they were willing to trade them for anything. He carried a bowl with four more in it." She pointed to one of the said fruit with a frown. "That."

"Aye, it was an allergic reaction." Carson strolled into the briefing room. "I've sedated him, and he's resting now. I had to prepare an antidote, as the allgerine was acting much as a poison does. It's a good thing you got him back when you did." He looked to the others. "I've done some tests, and that fruit isn't fit for anyone on Atlantis to eat. It has a seed within it that reacted badly to every four out of five test subjects. We'd best not accept any more."

"Will John be alright?"

"Aye, lass, that he will. He's just sleeping off the rest of the effects. I must say, you performed admirably, with the CPR. It didn't work, granted, but it's a good thing I taught you how to use an epi-pen. He passed out before it could take effect, going by what you all told me, but it definitely helped." He nodded. "Good job." Turning away, Carson sighed. "And Elizabeth, I'd petition no more eating or drinking _anything_ on a mission, unless our people are certain it's not poisonous."

She nodded grimly. "I'll make an announcement to everyone, after the briefing." Pushing the fruit to the side, she kept going until it fell off the edge of the table and into the trash can she'd put in the room.

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Hope you like it.

I'm not sure about allergic reactions, since the worst I've ever had was nausea and a rash. Also, I'm not sure about using the CPR, I hope that was the right thing for Teyla to do. Rewrote the part with the CPR, due to a comment by **Debbie418uk2. **Thank you. :) I wasn't sure.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	23. The Return of Colburn

**Debbie418uk2**'s chapter 60, 'Payback'. This is a tag to it, so everyone can see how it goes with John's POV. I don't own the scenes of John's near-deaths, and Rodney's near-death. I also don't own Colburn or the pretty hypnotizing disk-thingie, or Kara Springer. LOL

**Jasminesmommy** – I'd never put Rodney through the shock of having to do mouth to mouth on John…. Though… (thinks for a moment)… Possible muse?

**Puddle-Jumper38** – The only difference is that McKay would have had a severe reaction right away, and I was going for less severe, just to be safe. It's ok though, **Debbie418uk2** explained it (Thank you, thank you, thank you!) :)

**Debbie418uk2** – Thank you for that. I actually have another chapter where John is bitten on the throat and it not only swells out but in as well, cutting off his air. His throat doesn't close up completely, though, so I have another team bringing Carson who puts a tube down John's throat so they can get back to Atlantis.

**x Varda x** – Thank you :)

**Snow'sLuckyCat** – Thank you :) I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm trying to stay as true to the characters as possible, it's a lot of fun getting into their heads and figuring out how they would respond to some things.

Thanks you :) I didn't even realize that I'd done that with Rodney. I do like to show that he does have a stronger side to him, too.

I hope you all continue to enjoy this series because with three hours or more a day to work on it… (Has a LOT of chapters yet to come, thus the now twice a week updates)

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**(John's POV)**

Pre-flight checks. Necessary, important and pretty easy to do. The first key thing is to turn on the power, obviously. What I don't understand is how or why someone hacked into the programs and almost electrocuted me. Ok, no, not _almost_. They did manage to electrocute me, I just didn't understand _how_. Oh, sure, Rodney explained it and I understood the basics, but I guess I was still kind of in shock.

No pun intended.

I'd almost died. All I felt was the tingling heat surging through my body as the electricity coursed through me. It didn't hurt so much as feel horribly uncomfortable. I couldn't speak, move or even breathe. It actually kind of felt like my lungs were being squeezed, even as my entire body froze. I barely even registered it when Rodney shouted something, and there was movement at my side. Things faded away quickly, whether because I was loosing consciousness or dying, I didn't know. It probably wasn't that long, but it felt like forever and I felt as if I was… Well, just let go. As everything faded into darkness, I heard someone speaking as my body slumped forward as everything turned black.

**(Later that Day)**

"You didn't bring any food with you by chance?" I asked hopefully as I saw Rodney heading my way. You wouldn't _believe_ how badly I was craving a burger right about now, but all Carson seemed to feel like feeding me was jello and fruit.

I'd regained consciousness a while ago, and despite having pains in my chest, a monster headache, and this residual tingling through my body, he mentioned I'd be ok. Well, that and the big bandage that ran up to my wrist. Carson had taken time to explain that I had received an electrical shock, though no one really knew what caused it at the time. I was just plain confused. What the hell happened?!

Rodney shook his head, his hands in his pockets. "Not this time. I may be able to smuggle you in something, later. How are you feeling?"

I didn't want to tell him about the chest and head pains, despite his hard exterior, I knew he would worry. "Well, my hand's sore from the electrical burn and I still feel kinda tingly, but I'm doing good. Thank you, by the way."

My mind was still running over the fact that I'd been electrocuted in a jumper, just from a pre-flight check. Rodney informed me it appeared to be sabotage, and I winced, not really sure what to say to all that. Rodney also went on to explain that it was a very complex system, and actually seemed impressed by it.

Someone was trying to kill me, and Rodney was impressed by the method?!

"But if someone's out to kill you, there are probably simpler ways."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Gee, thanks."

Rolling his eyes, Rodney shook his head and turned his attention to my tray of fruit and jello. "You know what I mean." I gave him a lopsided smile, but I don't think he noticed as his eyes scanned the jello on my tray. "Got any of the blue kind…?"

**(Next Day)**

Luckily my jolt wasn't too bad. Carson was set to release me the next day, which I told Rodney. Actually, I was up and about for today, and I had plans to fully enjoy my day off. Kara Springer, one of the marines that came with the new batch. She was a real cutie, with shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes.

Did you know Rodney made a _lake_ out by the west tower? It was all a bunch of very advanced techno babble, but the place was definitely nice. And Rodney had never opened it to the general population, so I'd be the first one to get to give Kara a tour.

"Well, remember that rowboat I requisitioned when you came up with that idea?"

Rodney laughed and shook his head. "I _still_ can't believe you got away with that!"

Shrugging, I grinned at him. I wasn't about to tell him I had to bribe Colonel Mitchell with a month's supply of beer and chips, on my dime, for this. It probably would have been worse, but General O'Neill showed up and seemed to save the day. Despite how odd the request was, he thought it could be fun to have something a little more low-tech on Atlantis.

Explaining briefly my plan to Rodney, I stared blankly as he went into a detailed account of why I had to make sure the overflow gates were kept shut. I actually understood a lot of it, but when he said it was simple, I knew he was dumbing it down for me. When Rodney said something was simple, trust it to be as far from simple as humanly possible.

Either way, I got a couple of marines to carry the boat to the west tower, as it apparently wasn't fit for transport. That kind of sucked, but I owed them for this and I knew they'd made it good. I was just lucky someone _agreed_, or I'd have had to carry it over, and my hand was still sore from yesterday. I dressed in my usual Atlantis gear, black t-shirt and pants, and Kara was wearing a nice blue sundress that just seemed to bring out her eyes even more. As I stepped up to the door and waved my hand over the console, a resounding voice echoed through the hall, and I was sure I jumped a foot in the air.

"ATTENTION! YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO ENTER A RESTRICTED AREA!"

"Jesus!" I jumped back and looked around for the source of the voice.

"Yes?" The voice sounded again, but much more…normal, and pleasant. "Can I help you?"

For a moment, I considered it, but then I recognized the voice as another of the newer marines. Funny enough, the man's name _was_ Jesus, he was Spanish, I think. Talk about irony, huh? "Uh, yes. I'm Colonel John Sheppard…"

"Ah, yes. Dr. McKay said you'd be coming. Please proceed."

The door opened quietly and Kara and I stepped onto a large open area. I was expecting maybe just a nice lake or something, but it looked like Rodney had gone all out. Maybe it was done recently, but there was tons of artificial foliage to make it looked like a forest. Fake grass lined the lake, hemmed with amazingly real looking wildflowers. It was all just amazing, and I glanced at Kara to see her taking it all in with a shocked look.

"Wow."

I agreed silently and turned off the water fall via the console by the door before turning around again. The sound of the waterfall was replaced with an enchanting chorus of singing birds, and sighed, knowing I was going to owe Rodney big time for this, and that he wasn't going to let me forget it so easily. "Well, it might just be worth it."

"What?" Kara turned to me with a smile.

Shaking my head, I took her hand with a smile. "Nothing. Let's test out the waters."

It was all remarkably uneventful. Nice and relaxing. I took the boat out into the center of the lake before turning it towards the window and laying back with Kara. There we just relaxed as the sun began to set. I was actually starting to fall asleep when Kara nudged my arm, hard, with a wide-eyed look.

"John! We're moving!" She sat up quickly and looked around.

Sitting up as well, I followed her lead, even as my ears picked up the sound of water falling instead of the chorus of birds. Looking towards the waterfall, I noticed that the plexiglass had retreated and we were heading towards the edge. I didn't even give it time for thought, but quickly grabbed the oars and began rowing as hard as I could. It wasn't as easy as it looked. I had to fight the current. It didn't take long before I could feel beads of sweat slipping down my face, and my hand was seriously beginning to burn again.

Sliding to the center of the boat, Kara looked over her shoulder and her eyes widened even more. "It's gaining on us!"

_I can see that, thank you._ I thought as I panted heavily. My arms and back were burning as I fought the current. Every time the oars went into the water, I was sure they were going to be ripped out of my hands, but some how I managed to keep holding on. "How far is the bank?" Maybe it wasn't that far. Maybe we could swim for it.

"About a hundred feet. Could we swim for it?" Apparently she'd had the same thought.

_Unfortunately..._ "Negative. No swimming is going to buck this current better than a pair of oars, and I'm not doing so hot." Gasping painfully, I tried to ignore how my lungs were screaming and burning. I tried to tap the radio, but every time I stopped rowing, the boat almost jumped towards the waterfall. It was just too dangerous. Praying the area wasn't RF shielded, I turned to Kara. "Kara! Hit my radio!"

She did so quietly, her eyes the only sign betraying how worried she was.

"Rodney!" Gasping for air, I tried to focus on rowing. "McKay!!"

"Geez, you don't have to shout!" Rodney's almost indignant voice came over the radio.

"We're going over the waterfall!" I didn't even waste time with banter, as my mind was beginning to haze with the pressure I was putting into rowing. One of my arms faultered, and I quickly pressed back, continuing rowing. When Rodney seemed shocked into disbelief, I explained briefly. "I'm...rowing! The barrier opened...the waterfall..."

"It's not supposed to do that!"

_No duh! But it is!_ I was about to yell at him to stop talking and start working when he mentioned he'd accessed the program and was in the process of shutting it off. He told me to hang on a moment, and I had to tell him I didn't have a minute left. My arms were quickly beginning to numb, and the boat was moving faster as my rowing automatically slowed down. _Keep rowing! Keep rowing!_

Just when I thought it was the end, the barrier slid back into place, and the boat surged forward as the current stopped. I was almost thrown by the sudden force, and lack of force at once, and didn't even hesitate. My arms were pretty much numb, and my shoulders, chest and back all hurt like you wouldn't believe, but I rowed back to shore, where I got out of the boat, helped Kara out, staggered towards the fake grass, and collapsed, gasping for air as I tried to relax all my sore muscles. _I'm _so_ gonna feel that tomorrow!_

Hearing a scraping sound, I just barely managed to get my head up to see Kara dragging the boat in from the water, and sitting next to me. We just stayed like that for a few moments, relaxing after our near-death experience. Of course, Rodney showed up, and began working on trying to figure out what the hell happened. I'd still been logged in, as far as anyone could tell, but he seemed to be running every scan known to man to try and find the problem.

It was beginning to look like sabotage again, only this time, they almost took out an innocent bystander at the same time.

**(That evening)**

Ok, so two near-death experiences later, and obviously Rodney's on something. We're in his lab, talking about who's probably watching and what they might want. He pointed out a camera in my room, which is freaky of it's own accord. I mean, can we say 'stalker'? But the point is, I'm here asking him for ideas, since I'm clueless, and you know what he said?

"We let him kill you."

And the worst part about it was that he spoke of it like he was talking about the weather. Calmly and matter of factly, like he wasn't talking about my murder. Of course, I whole-heartedly disagreed with this choice of action. I kind of liked living, thank you. But he explained that if we can fake my death, it might lure the guy out.

So Rodney would be keeping in touch with me via my radio, and I was to go to bed like everything was normal. Funny how he made that sound so much easier than it actually was. Here I'm laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to find the camera without being too obvious. I knew it was there, but I couldn't see it. Again, just a little disconcerting.

_"Turn over and try to look like you're asleep."_ Rodney was beginning to sound a little irritated and bored, but at least I knew he was paying attention and it made me feel surprisingly better. _"Nothing's going to happen while it's obvious you're still awake."_

Sighing, I turned on my side, feeling my heart beat shakily. I didn't know what to expect, so my body was completely keyed up. "What if nothing happens?" Maybe the guy knew he was being watched. Or, maybe after two failed attempts, he'd give up...?

_"Then I've blown another night's sleep."_ Rodney sighed as well, sounding even more bored.

I forced my body to relax with meditative techniques I'd learned a while ago. Relaxing into my matress, my mind stopped focusing on the iminent danger and started focusing more on how comfortable I was. It felt like forever, but was probably no more than twenty minutes, but I began to doze off. Then, I heard a noise. "Rodney?" Speaking carefully, I managed to keep my mouth fairly still.

_"Yes?"_

"The water in the bathtub just turned on. Sounds like the tub's filling." Atlantis was fairly advanced, but they still hadn't come up with showers that turned on by themselves. Either I was haunted, or my so called attacker was making their move. I was about to move, to go turn it off, when Rodney's voice stopped me.

_"Stay still. You're supposed to be asleep, remember."_

_I could just play it off like I'm a light sleeper and it woke me up._ I thought darkly, keeping still and biting back the urge to make a comment. I heard water hit the floor and just barely managed to keep from frowning. "It's overflowing."

_"I see it. There's water on the floor."_

I could make out the sound of keys tapping on Rodney's end and was more thankful than ever that he was there with me. "Is he going to drown me?" Again I just barely managed not to frown at the thought.

_"Doubt it. Keep away from the bed frame."_

"Why...?" Moving towards the center of the bed, carefully, I listened as Rodney explained that there might be a current in the water. An electrical current. My heart skipped a beat. If even the tiniest thing went wrong, I'd be electrocuted. Rodney mentioned looking directly down on me and not being able to see how high the water was. Apparently he saw that as an advantage, though I'd see it more like a _dis_advantage. If he judged wrong... "O...k..." Rodney wanted me to tell him when the water was about halfway up my bed. "Can you tell if he's watching?"

_"Not without tipping him off to my presence. Don't worry, he's watching. Is it halfway yet?"_

_Oh, right, the water._ Peeking through my lashes, I swallowed heavily. "Just about." He told me to start twitching and flailing around, but to be careful not to touch the bed frame. I did as he wanted, resisting the urge to roll my eyes with how ridiculous I felt. After a couple minutes, Rodney told me to stop and lay perfectly still. The water was still rising, but I did as he asked and surprise, surprise, the water stopped. It drained out, just as Rodney predicted, and fans turned on, blowing me dry. He instructed me on what he thought was going to happen, then there was a brief pause.

_"Someone's calling me. I'll meet you in the mess hall. Make sure the water's receded before you move."_

Like he had to tell me twice. Laying perfectly still as the water continued to drain, I heaved a bit of a sigh, just glad tonight's attempt was also a failure. "Thanks, Rodney."

_"Hey, now we need to find out who's doing this."_ He disappeared from the radio, which I could tell with a corresponding click.

**(With Radek)**

I'd thought it was all over. All the drama would be finished. We foiled another attempt, I was to meet Rodney in the lunch room and we'd work on who was doing this. What I didn't understand was how it went from wandering out of my room about ten minutes after the water had receded, to standing by the doorway as Rodney was rushed to the infirmary.

I thought he'd been shot, or stabbed or something. Carson was hovering over him, Rodney was practically unconscious, and there was a tube down his throat. When I'd asked a young female scientist who was there, judging by the look on her face, she told me straight out that Rodney had come in and drank a glass of lemonade. Then when I chased down Carson a little while later, he confirmed it.

_Everyone knows Rodney's deathly allergic to citrus. Why the hell would he drink lemonade??_ Rodney is the kind of guy to freak out over a splinter, he'd never take his life for granted like that. _It's suicide._ Everyone knew it, Rodney knew it. It didn't explain why he did it.

But it did give me an idea, when Carson stated Rodney had been acting weird. He'd walked right by him, ignoring him, and downed a glass of lemonade before greeting him pleasantly. That was wrong for many reasons. A) Rodney would never ignore Carson, they were good friends. B) Rodney would have to be on something and completely amnesiac and stupid to drink anything citrus, and C) Rodney never did _anything_ pleasantly. Something was really wrong here.

Taking Rodney's computer to Radek, I had him analyse it and I wasn't surprised to find that someone was indeed behind Rodney's insanity. I _was_ surprised to find out it was Rodney's log in, meaning Rodney, who kept trying to kill me, but it wasn't _him._ He was being controlled.

"Well, he's got the ATA gene." I stated grimly as I watched Rodney staring at a clearly alien artifact in his hand, blankly. The second man in the room had brought an artifact in, in a box, and when Rodney grabbed it, it lit up, and obviously did something to him, if his blank stare was anything to go by. "Can we see his face?"

Radek remembered the young man as a new bio assistant who worked with Wilson. When asked to zoom in on the name tag, he obviously didn't recognize the name, but unfortunately, I did. I knew it all too well.

"Colburn."

**(A few days later)**

When Carson finally took Rodney off the ventilator and weaned him off the sedatives, I stood by his bedside and explained to him how it was Colburn that put him up to all this. I hadn't wanted to mention that Rodney was involved at all, knowing it would upset him, but Elizabeth had already found out through Radek, and I knew that if he didn't find out from me, the Atlantis grapevine would get him.

He didn't take it too badly, on the outside. He even boasted about it being some pretty genious work. I explained about the device, too, knowing it would interest him, despite how dangerous it was. We'd contacted the SGC, when we sent Colburn back, and they mentioned they had no idea it had even gone missing. They were looking into that. Daniel Jackson was all too happy to have it back, though.

_And he really can keep it._ I thought as I nodded at one of Rodney's comments. After a few minutes of talking, Carson came in and almost glared at Rodney, though the relief was almost tangible. He kicked me out, and I vowed to myself that Rodney and I would go hang out at that little lake some time.

No boating, but it could be a nice place to relax. Maybe turn off the sound effects and watch a movie or something, if we got bored.

But that was later. For now I'm going to go get a good night's sleep, thankful that I can once again do so, without worrying about being electrocuted or drowned.

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Hope you like it.

I just summarised some parts in here, because otherwise it would have been really long. There you have it, John's POV of 'Payback', written by **Debbie418uk2**.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	24. Crash and Burn

This is one of the first chapters I wrote, so it might not be the best, but I thought... The hell with it, I'll post it anyways. Hope you enjoy. I also haven't had a chance to read the reviews yet, so I'll reply to them in the next chapter.

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**(Normal POV)**

"Yeah, well, it's been a while." Getting into his car, John tugged down the black suit jacket he was wearing with one hand, and spoke into his phone with the other. "I understand, sir. I'll be back at the SGC in about two hours. I'm just gonna go back to my hotel and get my things." He placed the key into the ignition as he sighed and slouched in his seat. "Yes, sir. Understood, General." With a nod, he grimaced. "I'll be back by then."

Pulling the phone away from his ear, he raised an eyebrow and shrugged before closing the phone and placing it back in his pocket. Turning and looking out the window, John's eyes darkened as he stared at the many stones sticking up from the earth, and the cemetery sign.

"Well, looks like no rest for the wicked. Talk to you later, I guess, Dad." With a frown, he turned on his car and pulled out of the parking space.

It didn't take John long before he hit the highway and managed to make his way safely through to the other side of the city. Hitting the back roads, to save time, he drove down them quietly, until his phone rang.

Pulling out one handed, he glared at the caller ID before tossing his phone on to the passenger seat with a groan. "I'm not dealing with you right now." He muttered, ignoring his brother's persistence. Eventually, the phone went quiet.

Looking over, John grimaced as he stared at it. Turning back to the road, his eyes widened as another car came rocketing from around the corner. "Crap!" He swerved violently to try and avoid it, and heard the wheels squeal and saw the trees coming closer to him. The last thing he thought, before sharp pain and welcoming darkness, was that it would be his luck to crash on a forested back road.

**(SGC)**

General Landry paced around his office with a frown and paused only long enough to acknowledge Teyla, Rodney and Ronon as they entered the room. After a brief nod, he returned to his pacing, a cell phone being the only thing sitting on the table in front of him.

"General, is there a problem?" Rodney was typing away on his computer tablet. Pausing, himself, he looked around and his expression turned to one of confusion. "And where's the Colonel? I mean, I know he can be a little lazy, but he's not usually the last one here."

"That's why I called you here. You're all aware the Daedalous is due to leave for Atlantis in two hours, right?" They nodded and he sighed. "Colonel Sheppard was due to return five hours ago, but he never did."

"It is not like john to be late."

"No, I know. That's why I called him." Picking up the phone, he promptly put it down again and scrubbed at his face. "There's been no answer. I thought he might have just been late, but…" Shaking his head, he raised an eyebrow and gave them a look.

Frowning, the rest of Team Sheppard exchanged confused and worried glances.

It was Teyla who had the next question. "Can the Daedalus not find him with his transmitter?"

"That's the first thing I thought. I figured the phone just wasn't on and he lost track of time." With a frown, General Landry sat down at the table. "Unfortunately, the Daedalus couldn't get a lock on his transmitter. I now have reason to believe, he may be in danger."

"Well, why not try a trace on his cell phone?" Rodney spoke up with a frown as he sat down. "That should be pretty simple, and we can get the scan done in no time."

"I have people working on that now. The results are due any moment."

"Do you believe John may have been injured?"

"Unless there's some sort of interference with his transmitter, yes, I do."

"Do we have any leads?" Ronon frowned at the cell phone before turning his gaze to Landry.

The General shook his head, just as a marine entered the room and handed him a form. "We might." He nodded to the marine as they left again and turned back to the form. "It looks like they managed to get a signal on his cell phone."

Standing up, he gestured to Rodney to take the report. "I want you guys to find him. Have Caldwell help you and get Dr. Lam to join you." Giving them a look, he nodded. "You'd better hurry. I have a bad feeling about this one."

**(Somewhere Else)**

Staggering out through the woods. John held his side and winced as he felt the hot blood rolling down over his hand. Taking a deep, carefully breath, he wasn't able to hide the second wince at a sharp pain in his chest. His vision swam and he looked back the way he'd come.

_Not smart. I probably should've stayed with the car. Why did I leave it, anyways?_ He stared at the seemingly endless forest ahead of him as he walked on. Grabbing his pocket, he felt blindly with his free arm, trying to ignore the stinging in his eye as blood from a gash leaked down into it. Fumbling with the contents of his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone and held it up.

"Damn. Still no signal." Ok, so that wasn't entirely true. There was a signal, it was just too weak to get far. He put his phone back in his pocket and staggered on more, trying to ignore the pain he was in. He had no idea where he was, but he figured if he kept going in a straight line, he'd find a road or something, sooner or later.

Everything seemed to be going wrong. The cell never gave a stable enough signal to call for help, he was getting weaker and weaker, and he was now really second guessing leaving his car, despite the fact that it was smoking dangerously at the time.

Pausing, he stopped and sat down on a fallen log. Pulling out his cell phone again, he checked the signal to see that it was stronger, but still not strong enough to dial out for help He looked back the way he'd come, frowning at the trail of blood he'd left behind him. Then he turned and looked around in all directions, only finding forest no matter where he looked.

"Oh, forget this." He grumbled, leaning back against a large boulder behind the log. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and gave meditation a try, to keep his nerves in check. Despite his pain, he managed to relax a considerable amount.

**(Back at the Car)**

Rodney stared in shock at the ruin. "What did he do, try to play chicken with a tree?!"

The car was wrapped around a massive tree. The hood and engine were completely destroyed with no chance of repair or recovery, and the inside panel was crushed. Signs of blood showed John was obviously injured, and the door had been forced open, footsteps in the mud showing he walked off into the woods.

"And why would he walk _into_ the woods when he's on a street?! It's ridiculous!" walking carefully around the tracks, Rodney paused a moment at the blood drops. "Who knows how bad he's hurt?!"

"We need to stop asking questions and get looking." Colonel Cameron Mitchell stated with a frown, adjusting his tan leather jacket. "And would you put that thing away??" He glared at the scanner Rodney was holding. "We're trying to blend in, here."

"It's easier to find him with this. Look…" He pointed out a single dot some distance away, and a worried frown crossed his face as the dot seemed to fade before coming back. "Oh, that's not good."

"What's not good?"

"That-That fading… Listen, this scanner is really sensitive to the strength of-oh never mind. You'd never understand. It, um… It means he's really weak, ok?!"

"Then we'd better stop talking and get looking. Let's go." Running ahead, Cam left Sam Carter to direct the marines to deal with the wreckage and any major signs of the crash. He led the rest of Team Sheppard into the woods, easily finding John's trail and following it.

"I still don't get why he went into the woods!" Rodney called from the background.

"Maybe he hit his head and wasn't thinking clearly!" Teyla called back as she caught up to Cam. "Perhaps we should call to him, let him know friends are near??"

"It could work! John!"

"Sheppard!" Ronon roared, causing everyone to look at him in shock. "What?" he asked quieter, in confusion.

"Colonel Sheppard!" Teyla called loudly as she found a large smear of blood on a tree trunk. "I believe we are on the right track."

"There!"

Everyone turned at Ronon's cry, and found him standing on a really big boulder. Staring at them a moment with a raised eyebrow, he pointed a ways ahead of them. "I can see him! He's not moving!" He jumped off the rock and ran off ahead, leading the rest of them.

"Whoa! Slow down, Chewie!" Cam was right on his heels. "We-Crap! John!" Sprinting ahead, he tapped his ear piece and pulled out a strap which he quickly attached to John's arm. "This is Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell. We've found John Sheppard. I need emergency teleport to the infirmary, and have Dr. Lam on standby. It looks like Colonel Sheppard's badly injured."

Checking his injuries, Teyla nodded. She saw the bleeding gash on his face, and from the blood flow, as well as his position against the boulder, she was able to determine he was unconscious for some time.

Ordering immediate teleport to the infirmary, Cam stood to the side as the others were beamed up, running back to let Sam know what was up, and praying John would be alright.

**(Daedalous Infirmary)**

As John came to, he was aware of several people standing over his bed, and how tight and dry his throat felt. He stared up at the faces of his friends and team mates, the members of SG-1, Colonel Caldwell, Generals Landry and O'Neill, and Dr. Lam, who promptly gave him some water to soothe his throat.

"Good to see you're still with us, Colonel." General Landry offered a small smile. "You had us worried for a while there."

"The most significant injuries you had were a pretty severe concussion, no doubt some confusion as a result of it, internal bleeding, a bad gash on you side and going around to where you transmitter was, which is why we couldn't locate you sooner." Dr. Lam was looking over a report before looking to the others. "I'll give you five minutes with him, but I'm recommending at least a week of solid rest, and no heavy duty until his side's healed."

"What happened?" Sam asked, a worried frown on her face.

Swallowing thickly, John frowned and seemed to be wracking his memory. "I was….on my way back, after seeing…my dad." He winced a little. "I took the back roads, trying to save some time. Some…lunatic… They-They just came barreling around the corner of the road, and I tried to avoid them."

"You did a good job of that." Rodney was musing out loud, as usual. "But a not-so-good job of avoiding the tree."

"Thanks." John muttered dryly. "You know, I was kinda hoping it would just move out of the way."

Everyone gave him strange looks.

Mouthing it to himself, he frowned and pursed his lips. "That didn't sound as cool out loud as it did in my head."

Grinning a little, Lam raised her eyebrow and turned to the others. "And that's a cue that he needs to rest. Ok everyone, time to go."

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	25. Funky Week 1, Monday

**Debbie418uk2** - Yeah, I feel the same way. It's neat to find out if they are seeing the same thing, something similar or something completely different, and how they work with everything. It's all a matter of what characters you prefer. Which are the highest on your favorites list. For me, it's John and Rodney, so I can imagines situations they're in better than Ronon or Teyla. Though Ronon is pretty easy to figure out. If it doesn't work, blast it! LOL

And here's some FUNK! LOL

I need to do more earthbound John incidents, I know. It's all a matter of what we can do. This was one of my first chapters, before I expanded and used more details. Like him being burned at the stake, so it was done before I worked on details and suspense. Thank you about the transponder. I was thinking of that, myself, that if they are scanning for him with the Daedalus, they could just beam him up, so I was trying to work out why they couldn't.

**Snow'sLuckyCat** - Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Oh, that's great, I wasn't sure how the summaries would turn out, but if I wrote EVERYTHING, we'd have had a chapter three times the length of usual. LOL LOL, I thought that was kinda cute and it made me smile. I was going for him being dryly sarcastic, as usual, but it not coming out right for him.

**Jasminesmommy** - If you've ready **Debbie418uk2**'s latest chapter then this is nothing. LOL. They usually are painful, or embarrassing...

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Seriously?! Wow, I never thought of that. He surfs, doesn't he? And he doesn't like boats?? ....MUSE! Yeah, Kavanagh doesn't like them, especially Rodney, I think.

I thought the whole 'monkey output' thing was a cute way to put it, so I borrowed it for this story. Tag to **Debbie418uk2**'s monkey chapters...

For those trying to keep this straight (Good luck with that by the way ;D)

1st chapter:Rodney's Really Bad Days (RRBD) chapter #45 "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"  
2nd chapter:John's Really Bad Days (JRBD) chapter #14 "Rodney's Revenge"  
3rd chapter:RRBD chapter #51 "Buttons"  
4th chapter:JRBD chapter #19 "Monkey Madness"  
5th chapter: RRBD chapter #58 "Buttons Returns"  
6th chapter: JRBD chapter #21 "The Revenge Of Buttons"

7th chapter: RRBD chapter #61 "Stuck in the Middle"

This is 'Funky Week 1'. ;)

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**(John's POV)**

"Out of solvent _and_ lemon?! Where'd it all go??" Storming around the briefing room, I vaguely noticed when the others moved away whenever I moved near them. "I mean, I never thought we'd run out of _lemon_." Shaking my head, I sighed loudly and sniffed carefully before wincing. "Alright, so, doc… What else do you have to get rid of this stink?"

Carson was tending to Rodney's cuts, wearing a hospital mask and wincing as he brushed his hand through some more of the monkey's…output. I was kind of glad he was already done with me. "Sorry lad." His eyes narrowed as he bandaged the last of Rodney's injuries and practically leapt away. "But, uh… There's nothing else to use." He shrugged as he held his hands _far_ away from him, waiting for a not overly-enthusiastic nurse to remove the gloves as another worked on his mask, a grin attached to her features as she took in the rest of us around the room.

"You can't be serious!" Rodney adjusted himself in his seat to be more comfortable, and some of the monkey feces oozed off him to hit the floor with a wet splat, making everyone in the room wince, except for Ronon who had a seat by an open window. "You can't expect us to walk around smelling like…like…" He made the mistake of sniffing and gagged. He looked about ready to reach up and pinch his nose, and even raised his hands, when he got a look at them and promptly dropped them back into his lap again. "Hell, I'd even be willing to take the lemon!"

Teyla grinned a little from the open doorway and shrugged at Elizabeth's betrayed look, as she was the only one really _in_ the room with us, besides Carson, and at least he had masks to turn to, to help him cope.

"Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do."

"Well then, how about we _find_ something to do." Rodney folded his arms over his chest and his jaw dropped and his eyes began watering. Coughing a little, he dropped his arms to his sides again with such force, the clump of output on his sleeve slid off and hit the floor with another wet splat.

Pursing my lips, I wondered how much of a raise the cleaning staff were going to ask for, for being made to clean this up. I also wondered if there was enough money on Earth to cover it. I knew there wouldn't be enough money on Atlantis. "Right, so, what exactly are we supposed to do?"

"Yeah, what he said! I don't know about the Colonel, but I have a pressing…" He paused and his face flushed. "That is, I have pressing business to attend to, that I need to be smelling like me again, for."

As I took in the blush, I raised an eyebrow and folded my own arms over my chest as I regarded Rodney a moment. "Well, what's this 'pressing business' that you have to attend?"

He glared at me. "I don't see what business it is of yours."

"Well, as the _CO_ of the base…" I trailed off and waggled my eyebrows suggestively. "You know I'll find out one way or another. Besides, I really should know all this stuff, just in case it could affect base security in any way."

"I don't see how it possibly could…" He continued to glare at me, but sighed and shook his head. Giving me a look, I picked up on that he'd tell me later, and decided to let it drop.

"Sorry, like I was saying…" I turned to Carson. "What exactly are we supposed to do?"

"Well, you could always go back to the planet and catch me a monkey. If I can analyse it's body, I might be able to find out exactly is causing the smell and see if I can't reverse engineer a vaccine to counteract it. That might still take a week, or longer, though."

"Go back to the planet…" I stated, feeling my face slacken.

Rodney's face turned as blank as mine felt. "And catch a monkey…"

"HELL NO!" We both chorused, causing the room to bust up laughing.

Feeling my face turn red, I glared at some marines, and they had the sense to stop laughing when I quietly suggested I could send _them_ back to the planet to do it for me. And considering they were all _men_ and knew how the monkeys reacted to _men_, they wisely kept their appearances professional.

Rodney glared at Carson who was chuckling away quietly and sighed loudly, forgetting himself and folding his arms over his chest, only to drop his hand on the wet patch on his arm. Again his jaw dropped as his eyes widened and he looked in horror at the wet hand print it made as he pulled it away. "Oh, come on!" Dropping his hand on the table with a wet thud, he groaned and closed his eyes. "Who's idea was it to come to the meeting before we got cleaned up?"

"Mine." Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at him. "I wanted to know what happened, and figured it was safer than keeping you in the gate room, where Chuck might be threatened into dialling the date, so the marines could throw you guys back through it." Shaking her head, she groaned. "Trust me, I'm regretting that decision already." She paused. "Check that, I regretted that decision almost right away."

I wanted to grin, but I knew she was serious. I aw Ronon as he kept turning his head to the open window with a look that told me he was contemplating climbing out it and across the side of the tower to another open window. And I saw how Teyla had completely disappeared from the room, but knowing she wouldn't leave the briefing, I glanced out the door to see part of her back against the wall outside. Carson himself was edging for the door, and Elizabeth had taken to covering her face with her hands, trying to make it look like she wasn't feeling well, but just trying to block out the smell.

Or maybe she really _wasn't_ feeling well, _because_ of the smell.

"Well, other than that, it looks like you're gonna have to wait a week for the Daedalus to arrive."

"There's no way to speed things up, is there? Like, maybe Rodney and I take a jumper to the Daedalus, and get the treatments…?"

"And watch the Daedalus fall out of the sky like a dead fly?" One of the nurses asked quietly.

Elizabeth began to giggle at that. She tried to cover it as a hiccup, and blushed as she looked at the table, but her shoulders shook from the force, and we could all hear the giggles even though her face was covered by her hands.

Even Carson was shaking a little from the suppressed laughter.

"Hell, the Asgard don't even have noses and _they'd_ probably be offended." The other nurse added with a grin and giggle.

Ronon was just grinning, and Teyla and ducked her head into the room with her own grin. "That might not be wise. We cannot risk you injuring anyone on board the Daedalus." She was, of course, addressing myself and Rodney.

"What? You think we're gonna hurt them?" Rodney looked at her, shocked.

"I was not speaking of physical harm." She stated with a pointed look at our….messy selves.

"One whiff of you and they'll probably jump out the airlocks." Carson put in with a dead serious expression. "And we need those supplies. Besides, do you really think you can handle a week of close quarters with each other?"

"On a regular basis, it could be….interesting." Rodney didn't sound too enthusiastic.

"Fun… Awkward… Annoying…" I listed off all the words besides 'interesting' that spending a week with a smelly Rodney would be, to me. "Maybe even suicidal…"

"With this smell, I don't see it." Elizabeth was blunt and to the point, despite the grin on her face. "Look, until we get the solvent in, I think it would be better if you two stay on Atlantis."

"That's the perfect defence." Ronon was grinning. "No Wraith in their right mind will attack Atlantis with these two here."

"Not necessarily. They might eventually evacuate the city just to get away from us. Or dial up the gate to a Wraith-infested planet and toss us to them." Rodney rolled his eyes.

"The Wraith would die of food poisoning." Ronon put in easily. "No more Wraith. It could work."

I glared at him and barely bit back a growl at that. "Gee, thanks buddy. See if I invite you over for more Hercules."

"With you smelling like that, I think I'll survive." He waved and grinned before turning back to the window.

With a loud sigh, I shook my head and stood up from the wall I'd been leaning against. "Well, can we finish this meeting already, I'm getting kinda hungry." I saw the looks everyone was shooting me and sighed. "Can you blame me? I missed out on breakfast this morning and it's almost time for dinner. Even this smell's not gonna stop me from eating for a whole week."

"Me, either." Rodney put in.

No one looked surprised.

Standing up slowly, Elizabeth raised an eyebrow as her eyes scanned my body slowly. "Alright. We're dismissed, but before you go eat, I suggest you boys bathe. It might not do much for the smell, but at least you won't be…" She winced as I felt something slide down my leg and 'splat' on the floor. "Dripping…"

"And maybe the salad won't turn brown from the smell alone." The nurse added in with a look as she turned and walked out of the room. "No, check that, the salad would still probably turn brown...

The other nurse nodded and followed her. "First dibs on the yogurt before they get there and it curdles?" She laughed and leaned against the other nurse, who was also laughing, as they walked down the hall.

"A shower sounds like a good idea." I waved to Elizabeth on my way out. Feeling my face heat up and glaring at the girls' back, not to mention planning how to get them on the clean up list for that room, I beat a hasty retreat and a b-line to my room for a nice, hot shower…or three. Of course, it did occur to me that this smell could have it's upsides. At least there'd be no line at the mess hall.

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Hope you like it.

R+R Please

Thank you

Tenshi


	26. The Shrine Thoughts

**Disclaimer** : I don't own the quotes and the scenes, they came from the show. John's POV was my idea. That's all. And quite obviously, I don't own the series, or the show would NEVER end!

Ok, so I have tons of chapters of John being hurt by something. But you don't just have to be hurt to have a bad day

Ok, thank you to who just made me realise I didn't put in a spoiler warning for those who haven't seen the episode yet, so...

**SPOILER WARNING FOR THE EPISODE 'The Shrine'!!!** So for those of you who haven't seen it... I don't give away the ending, thankfully, but it does heavily rely on a couple of scenes from the actual show.

**Debbie418uk2** – You liked Funky Week 1? LOL I was laughing a little at points. I got your chapter and I raise you Funky Week 3: Wednesday (Already finished it ;) )

**Jasminesmommy** – Yeah, I was going for the rudeness LOL

**x Varda x **– Oh? What's a lorry? That was pretty much the only car crash one, but I wanted to do something a little different than having them be attacked by Wraith or Genii.

**Puddle-Jumper38** – In response to your mention of Joe hating boats (his idea of a nightmare is being stuck on a boat :S), I've completed a two-parter about a boat incident ;) Thank you for the muse ;) LOL Talk about a lasting bad impression. Don't you just_ love _monkeys? I just finished a chapter with nice monkeys, myself. LOL

**E. Nagrom** – LOL, Yeah I knew that sounded like a Ronon-thing to say. Glad to hear you enjoyed it, sorry about the headache. LOL. (Sends John over with a bottle of aspirin)

Here's the next update (I'm trying to get all my oldest chapters up first, since I think I like my newer ones better ;) )

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**(John's POV, Jumper)**

We're on Talus, flying a cloaked jumper through Wraith infested land. Was this smart? I seriously doubted it. Did we care? Well, maybe Jennifer, but that didn't stop her from coming along. The truth is, with the situation we were presented with, I think our minds were focused more on helping Rodney than the hoards of Wraith swarming this world.

What's wrong with Rodney? I'm no doctor, but it's pretty simple. He's got a bug in his brain. A parasite. It infected him some time ago, and over the course of the last two weeks or so, he's been slowly forgetting everything. Reverting to a child-like state. He doesn't remember a fraction of the things he used to, hell he can barely speak anymore!

If left like this, he won't last another two days. But so far, we've found no way to remove it.

Ronon told us about this planet, Talus, and the Shrine of Talus. It would allow Rodney to be himself again. How? I'm not a scientist, or Satedan, don't ask me. Would it work? We had no idea.

Would that stop us?

No.

We were doing this for him. Allowing him a day to be himself again, and die with dignity and honor. And we were doing it for us, a chance to see Rodney McKay again. Our team mate. Our friend. A real chance to say goodbye, as painful as it might be.

_Rodney wanted to say goodbye, before, but I wouldn't let him._

**Flashback**

"John! JOHN!"

Jumping awake, I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest. In all the time I'd known him, I'd never heard Rodney scream my name like that. I instantly hopped out of bed, not even aware of doing it, and ran to the door, swiping my hand over the sensor as Rodney's banging echoed through my room and the hall.

He stood there at the door, immediately grabbing my arms and rambling into how we'd all left, and he'd been so scared. He was rumpled, his face pale as he shook a little, and his normally hard blue eyes, the most vulnerable I'd ever seen them.

It was a little scary, seeing him like that.

"Oh, buddy, I'm sorry." How could I even think of letting that happen?! I should have been there for him! "I thought you'd fallen asleep." Not that, that was an excuse.

There was honestly no way I could ever imagine what he was going through, but the sheer terror in his eyes gave me an inkling. I knew this wasn't the same Rodney I'd grown to know and, well, tolerate. Ever since he'd woken up, he'd been different, and I never noticed it until it was too late.

He was still clutching his head as he turned to me. "I was...I got so scared. I was sure that..." His eyes were filled with tears as he lowered his hands, still clutching to his shirt. "By morning what was left of my mind was gonna be gone."

Frowning, I took his shoulder. It was scaring me to hear him talk like this, the guy who had a penchant for panicking, but not being so vulnerable, even when he did. "I'm gonna take you back to your quarters, ok?" I felt like I was abandoning him, but he'd been ordered to rest, and he certainly wasn't doing that here.

"John, John..." The tears in Rodney's eyes threatened to spill over as he gazed at me. "I've never been so scared. I'm slippin' away. I'm slippin' away and I don't know how to stop myself."

I couldn't take him talking like that, it was scaring me more and more. I kept telling myself that Keller was going to make Rodney all better. That she'd manage to fix his brain, I mean, that's why she was made head of medicine, right? When Carson... Biting my lip, I stared at Rodney a second, and recalled how it had effected him, how it effected us all, when we lost Carson. I'd lost Sumner, Aiden... Hell, I wasn't even there to protect Carson! Or Teyla, when she'd been hurt! Or Elizabeth during the replicator attack! Even Ronon was captured and tortured!

Now Rodney?

Sure, this wasn't a Wraith trying to feed on him, or a ticking time bomb, but it was worse. Those were physical, we had solutions. Kill the Wraith, remove the time bomb and hide a safe distance away, _anything_! This... This was a parasite in his brain. This was so much worse. We couldn't just kill the parasite without it taking Rodney with it. And just leaving it was slowly killing him!

Grabbing both of Rodney's arms, I took a deep breath, trying to remain calm, despite the pain and uncertainty in my heart. "Look, you're still here, all right?" Funny how that was probably more comforting to me than it was to him. "You're still here."

Strangely enough, it seemed to help him, and he visibly relaxed. "Right. I am." He was still obviously panicked, but not nearly as bad as before, and he even managed a very slight, shaky smile.

"And I'm not goin' anywhere. Hell, you wanna hang out, you just....hang out." This was awkward, but I was glad he came to me. And honestly, I was glad to help in any way. I was tired, my eyes felt heavy, but I forced myself to ignore it as I focused on him.

But I think he saw it anyways. Even if he was forgetting everything, Rodney was still very perceptive. "I don't know what to do." He was frowning as he rubbed at his messy hair. "I don't know what to do with myself." Looking at me, his eyes were clearly afraid and pained, but also held regret. "I'm...I'm sorry. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have woken you up."

No, I wasn't about to let him run off now. "Hey, look." I looked out the window and saw how clear it was. It would be a little cool, but we could work around that. The moon was full, and it was probably a great night to sit outside for a bit. Gesturing, I had Rodney take a look. "It's a nice night out. Let's go and have some beer on the pier, ok?" I didn't even wait for him to reply, but walked to my mini fridge, grabbing my leather jacket and opening the fridge to grab the six pack inside.

"I drink beer?"

Now, how to answer that one? Sure, Rodney drank beer, but I didn't know how often, or if he preferred another type of alcohol, instead. "A _lot_." I finally stated, looking him in the eye. Tossing the jacket to Rodney, I watched as he grabbed it and looked at it. "Take this." Closing the fridge door, I grabbed a heavy shirt on top of the fridge, with my free hand and turned back to him. "Come on, buddy, let's go."

**End Flashback**

It had been a little cool out, that night, but it was still a lot of fun. We sat our, dangling our legs over the city and drinking beer, just relaxing in general. I felt immensely better when I noticed Rodney seemed a lot calmer and more at ease.

Checking the H.U.D, I noticed it wasn't quite ready and sighed quietly, as I heard Jennifer and Jeanie talking to Rodney. Teyla and Ronon were quiet, and I could tell they were both worried as much as I was. None of us wanted to lose him. He was friends with us all. Hell, I'd even go as far as to say I saw him like family.

And he _was_ family to Jeanie.

_God, what must she be going through?!_ For years, she and her brother never got along. Even after she'd been made aware of the Pegasus project and Atlantis, after they reunited, they were still occasionally at odds. _But they were getting better. Now, to find out she may very likely lose her brother?!_

Not to mention Jennifer. It was subtle, but it was there. Little blushes Rodney would give, when he was treated by her. His sudden lack of protests when we'd suggest he go to the infirmary. The way he seemed all too happy to sit next to her, and help her out around the infirmary. There was something there.

Briefly, I wondered if Rodney had any nights with the others, like he had with me. I know he strangely seemed drawn to me, as he grew worse, I'm not entirely sure why. Did he wake up, running terrified to the rooms of the others?

Not that I was jealous, I really was just curious. No one mentioned anything.

Just... Did he plan to 'say goodbye' to them, too? Had he already said goodbye to everyone?

**Flashback**

We sat on the pier, our feet dangling over the city. I wore my shirt, Rodney wore my jacket. It was surprisingly comfortable out here. We'd both already finished our first beers, and in record time, I might add. Grabbing another can, I popped the top and handed it to Rodney.

"I dunno. Should I have another?" He placed the can he was holding down as he accepted the second one.

With a shrug, I grabbed another for myself and popped the top. "What could happen?" I wanted to wince. Famous last words, right?

As far as we knew, the parasite was immune to all forms of radiation that we knew of, drugs didn't have any effect. Alcohol couldn't do anything, I was sure of it.

"I shouldn't have banged on your door like that. I feel ridiculous." Rodney sighed and closed his eyes a moment, before reopening them.

"Don't." Everything was nice and relaxed now, I didn't want to go back to panicked and scary. The fact that he spoke like this, none of his usual sarcasm in his voice, that alone was enough to bother me. I kept expecting a Rodney answer to things. I took a swig of my beer, sighing as I allowed myself a moment to savor the taste.

"I've been trying to remember the name of my sister's kid."

Looking at him, I turned to find Rodney squinting out at the ocean. I pondered for a split second, on how to answer that. "Betty." Yeah, yeah, I know that wasn't it. I was testing Rodney, to see his response, and I was hoping to keep the current mood light.

"Betty." Frowning at me, Rodney's eyes narrowed in confusion before his expression turned knowing. "Pretty sure that's not it." He replied lightly.

I nodded and turned back to my beer. "It's Madison. See? At least you remember what it isn't."

"Now _there's_ an underrated skill." He mused with a bit of a grin.

Biting back my own grin, I nodded again. "I'm just saying, you may not be as far gone as you might think." At least, I hoped not. There was always a chance he could overcome this himself, right? Or maybe it seemed worse than it was?

"I'm hiding it." Rodney's voice became a little harsher as his smile faded and his look darkened with worry, pain and a little frustration. "Believe me, I've already forgotten more than most people will ever know, and I know that sounds..." He struggled for a moment, his face heavy with confusion. "Arrogant, is that right?"

_More than you'll ever know._ I thought with a smirk as I nodded. "Yeah." I couldn't help the small chuckle. "That works."

He sobered up again as he looked back out over the illuminated city. "This morning I was trying to help Zelenka finish a device that was apparently my idea. I was useless. Jennifer says it's gonna get worse now, almost by the hour." He turned back to me, his eyes filled with sadness and tears starting to pool again. "In a week or so, I won't even remember my name."

_Only a week?_ Funny how that sounds like so much time, a life time away, and yet so little time. I could only take a good strong drink of my beer, not really knowing what to say at this point. The comfortable atmosphere had pretty much gone out the window at this point, and I was stuck feeling like this would be the last time I could talk to him like this.

"How's about..." Looking down to his lap, I watched out of the corner of my eyes as Rodney took a deep breath, as if trying to control his emotions, and looked back up. "How's about we say goodbye now?"

"No!" Wow, that came out before I'd even had a chance to process the question. It surprised me, as well as the vehemence behind it. That really was the last thing I'd ever expected Rodney to say, and I really didn't want to believe he'd just said it. It sounded like he'd just given up.

"What d'you mean, 'No'?" He asked, some of his usual attitude in there. A little snark.

It did help, though. Sighing I took a deep breath and held it as I tried to ignore the tension filling me. I really didn't want to have this conversation. Not now, not ever. "I mean I'm not saying goodbye." I answered quietly, trying to sound stern.

"Well, I'm saying it anyway."

"Well, I'm not listening!" I threw back, feeling my hand clench the beer can tightly as I turned and stared him down.

Frowning, Rodney closed his eyes a second before reopening them and staring right back at me. "Yeah, but pretty soon I won't even know who you are!"

I just barely managed to bite back the shiver of dread that ran up my spine at that. I could imagine myself walking into the infirmary to speak to Rodney, and hearing him asking me who I was. I tried to ignore the icy hand that closed over my heart. "Then I'll remind you." I put in forcefully.

"Yeah, but I don't want you to see me like that." He was almost pleading now. "I want you to remember me as I am, your genius friend, not as some...." He trailed off, looking almost ashamed.

Staring at him firmly, I bit back the urge to growl in frustration. "Not gonna happen." I stated as firmly as I could.

"Please." He begged.

It tore at my heart to see him like this, but I pushed it aside and kept staring at him. "You're stuck with me, Rodney. Just accept it."

"Yeah, but I..."

"No!" I almost winced at the volume of my voice, and wondered if the echo I heard carried through Atlantis. The last thing I needed right about now, was a bunch of guards breaking my door down, thinking I was under attack. Or a bunch of questions from everyone, wondering why I yelled. Waving a finger firmly at Rodney, I narrowed my eyes at him. "That's final."

"Ok."

Pausing for a second, I was struck at how meek Rodney looked. "Ok." Grabbing my can, I took several long deep swigs from it, trying to ignore the millions of thoughts flowing through me. I felt like I was being pulled in every which way, and was going to be torn apart.

Just as I'd taken a good, long drink, I heard Rodney speak up.

"You're a good friend, Arthur."

Turning to him with the can resting at my lips, I slowly lowered it as I stared into his big blue eyes. I was trying to figure out if he was serious, and judging by the look on his face, he was. But then there was the gleam of amusement in his eyes, and I knew he wasn't. Not being able to help it, I spun my head back out over the pier as I busted up into laughter, ignoring the way I sprayed my beer out over the ledge, and listening to Rodney snicker beside me.

Now _this_ was more like it!

**End Flashback**

I couldn't help but smile at the memory. It had been really nice. Then, I tried not to frown. It was actually more of a roller coaster. On one hand, there were really down, down sides. Then there were really happy moments, too.

Looking out over the land, I frowned at the hoards of Wraith troops. This was beyond our usual danger level on our missions. This was practically a suicide mission. Turning to glance over my shoulder, I watched Rodney rocking a little between Jeanie and Jennifer, dressed in his usual off world uniform. As I turned back, I saw the determination in the faces of Ronon and Teyla, and felt it in my own heart.

This was beyond dangerous, and there was a good chance we might not make it out alive... Hell, there was a slim to none chance _Rodney_ would survive longer than a day, that we knew of... But, in order to have him back, even for a little while, we were willing to give it a shot.

I just wished there was more we could do. Here we were, running a potentially suicide mission, to give Rodney twenty four hours as himself before he...

Shuddering slightly, I closed my eyes a second before swallowing heavily and opening my eyes again. Checking the H.U.D, I frowned, though it was clear. "All right." Taking a deep breath, I nodded. "The landing area's clear. I'm taking us in." Forcing myself to keep the jumper steady, I slowly guided it to the landing pad.

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Hm, reading over this, it might not belong in _John's_ RBDs. It deals with his thoughts and pains in seeing a friend hurting, but, well... (Shrugs) You let me know. :)

Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	27. Lost and Found

**Debbie418uk2** – As I said, my all time favorite scene was the John and Rodney pier scene in The Shrine. :) My all time most hated episode was Ghost in the Machine. :( This is another one of my older chapters, so I'm posting it early. It's not one of my favorites, but… (Shrugs) It's a chapter.

**Sherry57** – I'm glad you enjoyed it :) I loved that Shrine scene, too. I had to watch it over and over again, because the friendship between them was just so beautiful there. Thank you :)

**E. Nagrom** – Glad you enjoyed it, and I put a spoiler alert in the chapter for future readers, just so they knew there were some spoilers in it. :)

Here's the early update (that's the bonus to having tons of chapters completed and waiting to be posted :D). This is another of my older ones, that is also not the greatest. (I like to save the better for last, so all my better chapters are yet to come, LOL)

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**(Atlantis Infirmary, Normal POV)**

Carson rushed in as Ronon carefully placed John on the bed. Everyone was covered in cuts and scrapes, but none seemed badly hurt. John Sheppard was unconscious. Teyla supported Rodney, as he limped into the room, assuring Carson that it was only a sprained ankle.

"What the hell happened?!"

Shaking her head, Teyla sighed. "The new lab that opened up from the previously flooded section of Atlantis, was booby-trapped. The moment we opened the door, it exploded. Colonel Sheppard took a hit by a piece of flying debris." She pointed to the injury on his head.

Taking a quick look, Carson nodded and shone a pen light at the wound. "I'll need to clean it, bit it doesn't look too deep. He'll have a nasty bruise, though."

With a nod, Teyla left Rodney on a nearby table and left the room, making her way to the control room to alert Elizabeth to what happened. It didn't take her long to find their commanding officer. She was already on her way to the infirmary.

"Elizabeth."

"I already heard John was in the infirmary. What happened??"

"The lab was booby-trapped. It exploded the moment the door was opened."

Frowning, Elizabeth nodded as the two girls changed course and headed back to the infirmary. "Booby-trapped?!"

Teyla nodded and opened her mouth to say something, but just then both their ear pieces buzzed, and Carson's voice came over them.

"Teyla? Elizabeth? I need you both in the infirmary, stat."

The grim, confused tone in his voice made both girls exchange a worried look before nodding and heading quickly the rest of the way to the infirmary, almost rushing into the room to find John sitting up and looking around in confusion.

"Hi?"

"John." Letting the relief flow through her, Elizabeth smiled. "How are you feeling?"

His confused look didn't fade as he stared cluelessly at her. "Uhm…"

"That's why I called you." Carson walked over to a screen showing the results of a brain scan. "There was some residual damage due to the knock to the head he took when he was thrown across the hallway from the blast." Pointing to an area of the scan, Carson frowned. "See the swelling? It's putting pressure on his brain, and though it isn't enough to endanger his life, it has effectively erased his memory. Or rather, it's blocking his mind from bringing memories to the surface."

"He's basically amnesiac." Rodney put in as his jaw dropped.

"What?" Elizabeth looked at the others in shock, as if she somehow thought she was imagining things. "Are you serious? Is… Is it permanent?"

"Hello. I'm right here."

"It's only temporary. Once the swelling goes down, I expect his memories will come back."

"You 'expect'?"

"There's no guarantee."

Frowning, Elizabeth nodded. "Is he alright, though?"

John raised an eyebrow, trying to ignore how these people were talking over him, as if he wasn't even there. "Other than not knowing you, or what happened and why my head hurts-"

"Actually, yes. As long as he takes it easy, I don't see any problem with him having visitors. I just don't want him walking around or exerting himself."

Everyone turned back to John, who looked lost and beyond uncomfortable with all the attention. He looked well enough, other than the cut on his cheek and bandage across his forehead. It was hard to believe he had no memory of any of them.

**(A Little Later)**

"So I'm the _Colonel_ of an 'alien' base?" John's eyes were wide. "And I go on missions to alien worlds…?" He turned to Teyla and Ronon pointing from one to the other. "So…you guys are…part of my team, and…aliens??" He shook his head and smirked a little. "Ok, ok. I get it. It's pick on the amnesia guy, right? Come on, I really wanna know what it is I've forgotten."

Teyla and Ronon exchanged looks, knowing there was really only one way to prove about alien worlds, and Carson had forbidden gate travel until John got his memories back. It wouldn't do to go to a world and get attacked by Wraith, with an amnesiac and kind of helpless John with them. They also knew that there was really no way of them proving they were aliens, so they stayed quiet about that.

"Ok, look. Do you remember being fed on by a half-wraith and almost turned into an Iratus bug?" Rodney tried, recalling one of the moments John hated the most. "Or… Oh, how about when my sister came by and staid my real name?" He grimaced a little, knowing this was one of John's favorite moments.

Frowning for a moment, John looked at him. "First of all, what the hell is a 'wraith', or this bug-thing? Second, I thought you said your name was 'Rodney McKay'? What else is there?"

"'Rodney's his middle name." Ronon put in with a smirk.

"Don't go there." Rodney almost growled.

"His real name's 'Meredith'."

"Hey! I thought I told you not to go there!"

John couldn't help but laugh. "_Meredith?!_" Suddenly, he frowned and his eyes narrowed.

**Flashback**

He saw an image of the two of them lying in the infirmary. Rodney was working on his computer tablet, which John had the feeling was normal, and talking really loudly. There was some sort of damage to their hearing, for some reason. He remembered seeing Rodney talking loudly, and he was talking to Rodney, trying to get his attention. When he realized Rodney wasn't listening, he frowned, tried again, and got the same result.

Finally, as a last result he said 'Whatever you say….Meredith'.

More images followed, of a blonde woman calling Rodney 'Mer'. It was his sister... Joanne? Jessica? Jean-Jeanie! Jeanie Miller. That's right.

Then there were images of weird people in robes, the sun being too close for comfort, weird people with long white hair and fish-like faces...

**End Flashback**

"John? John!"

Jumping a little, John winced as a headache hit him, and groaned a little. "Ow! Not so loud!"

"I am sorry. Did you remember something?"

He opened his mouth to say something, then realized that no one knew about that. Teyla and Ronon hadn't been there, and Rodney couldn't hear him. Well, about the 'Meredith' thing, the rest of it he really didn't know what to make of, so he wasn't sure if he should mention it. "Yeah, but it's personal." He finally stated with a wince.

"Oh, right. We really don't wanna know then. Knowing you, it's one of your Kirk affairs with some alien 'babe'." Rodney rolled his eyes, and pouted, still upset about Ronon giving away his real name.

"'Kirk affairs'?" John's eyes narrowed. "Why do I get the feeling I don't even wanna know what that's all about?"

"Probably because you really don't."

Nodding, John sighed and winced again. "Do you know if I can get any aspirin, or something? My head's killing me."

Teyla nodded and got up, heading away from the bed to a part of the infirmary John couldn't see. After a moment, she came back with aspirin and a bottle of water.

"You know, this really sucks." John took the aspirin and water, and sighed in relief once he took them, knowing it was only a matter of time before they would take effect. "Thanks." Frowning, he made a face and looked around the infirmary. "It's just, not being able to remember anything. You say I'm the leader of the lead off world expedition team from an off world, _alien_ city called Atlantis. You…" He pointed to Teyla and Ronon. "Are supposed to _be_ aliens. This is all just way too far fetched for me. I wish I knew what to believe!"

Everyone looked at each other, not really knowing what to say or do.

**(Later)**

"Teyla! Ronon! Rodney!"

Jumping from their sleeping states, the three team members jumped to their feet and looked around. Carson and Elizabeth were standing in the room looking clearly upset. The bed was empty and the sheets rumpled.

"John! Where is he?!" Teyla's eyes had gone wide with worry.

"You don't know??" Looking to Carson, Elizabeth took a deep breath. "How is his condition, doctor?"

"Stable. The swelling's gone down well. As long as he doesn't take another hit to the head, he should be fine." Tapping on his radio, Carson ordered two teams of marines to set up a search for the Colonel, telling them to be careful as he's injured. "His memories might have come back in bits and pieces, and if I'm right, he's likely very confused."

With concerned looks, the remainder of Team Sheppard, along with Elizabeth and Carson, split up and searched Atlantis for the runaway Colonel.

No one knew how long they'd been searching. Ronon and Teyla took the east side, with a team of marines. Lorne helped Elizabeth on the west side, with their own team. Carson kept an eye on the infirmary and the immediate area, and Zelenka ran around to the labs, informing people of the situation.

Surprisingly, it was Rodney who found John. He was standing on one of the more secluded north piers, staring out over Atlantis with a look of confusion and pain across his face. He wasn't in scrubs anymore, which made Rodney realize he must have gone back to his room to change. It gave him hope that Sheppard was indeed remembering things.

"It's so weird. I remember….shooting a man, because some weird white haired thing was…feeding? on him." Frowning, John looked over his shoulder. "And you had to remind me about the bug thing, thanks." That, of course, was sarcasm. "I also remember losing Aiden, and how Ronon got captured by the Wraith." His eyes turned pained. "I shot him, too, and you."

Rodney opened his mouth to say something, but saw the rigid way John was holding on to the railing in front of him, and closed his mouth again, biting back the sarcastic comment he was going to make.

"I tried to hurt Elizabeth, when I was transforming, oh, and let's not even go into the whole being possessed by warring lovers and shooting me people, again, bit." Frowning, John stared at Rodney. "Have I always caused so much trouble?!"

_Yes! _Again Rodney's sarcastic nature wanted to step up, but seeing the unusual vulnerability in John's eyes, he paused. Thinking for a moment, he shook his head and swallowed heavily. "No. You've also saved a lot of lives, done really brave things, and made tons of friends."

"Friends I tried to kill, no doubt."

"Nope, that's just us." Grinning a little Rodney sighed. "We're the lucky ones, I guess."

"Oh, yeah. So lucky." John was clearly distracted. "I believe it now. All of it. The alien lives, the alien city..." He raised an eyebrow and gestured to the view of Atlantis from where they stood. "Being part of an elite 'Stargate' team. It's so much to take in." He winced and put a hand to his head.

"Uh, maybe we should get you back to the infirmary." Rodney took a couple steps closer.

"No!" Shaking his head, John backed up against the railing. "Look, it's all really confusing. I'm sick of staying there! I need time to sort through all this, but I don't wanna be stuck with all these people coming in and out of my room at all times!"

Pursing his lips, he tried to think of something that would get John to listen to him. "Hum, not even the cute little nurses?"

Now John raised an eyebrow and seemed to think about it for a moment before a pained look crossed his eyes and he rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Not even for the nurses."

"Ok, I'll talk to Carson. Look, you were healing up nicely there. I'm sure he'll see no reason not to let you go to your room, as long as you take it easy."

"Really?"

With a nod, Rodney smiled and held out his hand. "Come on, let's go talk to him. I'll put in a good word, ok?"

**(Infirmary, the Next Day)**

Sitting on one of the beds, John grimaced as Carson shone a light into his eyes. "Wow, I really caused all that trouble?"

"You were confused, lad. I'm just glad you're better. You're remembering everything?"

"The time to myself really helped. It was all really confusing, for a while. All I could think about was all the weird aliens and monsters, and almost being turned into a bug, and shooting and hurting my own people, and watching helplessly-"

"Alright." Cutting him off, Carson sighed and patted his arm. "Listen, I want you to take it easy and consider seeing Kate Heightmeyer." Seeing John's coming protest, his eyes narrowed. "You're the C.O. of the base, and as such, you're carrying a lot of burdens on your shoulders. This just served to bring up a lotta old pains. I want you to talk to Kate about it. If nothing else, talking might help you figure more stuff out."

John paused, not liking the idea of visiting the psychiatrist, but also knowing Carson was right. Plus, knowing him, if John didn't agree, Carson would find another way to make him go. "Fine."

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Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you

Tenshi


	28. Funky Week 3: Wednesday

**Jasminesmommy** - No, I wouldn't want to remember everything, either. He's lost a lot of good people, he was single-handedly responsible for awakening the Wraith who killed hundreds of thousands of people, for alerting the Genii to what they were capable of and creating a new enemy, nearly killing members of his team... Well, let's just say he's had a run of....very, VERY bad luck. :S

**Debbie418uk2** - I don't mind if you'd like to tag it. As I mentioned in the previous chapter, it's an older one, before I began working out details and such, so it's not one of my better ones. I'm just trying to post my older, not-so-good chapters along with my newer ones, just to get them posted.

Ok, so here's Funky Week 3: Wednesday. **NOTE!** I may not post next week, as I'll be having my wisdom teeth out (all 4 of them) on Monday, so I'll be in pain, on a liquid diet and high on painkillers for a week.

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**(Atlantis, Normal POV)**

"I thought you said you wanted us to stay on Atlantis….?" Raising an eyebrow, John folded his arms over his chest and stared at Dr. Elizabeth Weir as if she'd grown another head.

Rodney's jaw dropped at the news, but then he straightened himself up and took a deep breath. "This is _not_ gonna turn out well, I can just see it now. Can't one of the other teams go?" He snapped his fingers and grinned. "I have a list of scientists who, uh…volunteered." His grin turned almost evil for a moment before it disappeared and he struggled to look innocent.

_Volunteered? Yeah, right. _I thought, recalling his little note on the board in the lab. The one I went and took pictures of. What? It was funny!

"I'm sorry, but I've already made up my mind. The people of P4X-331 insist on trading with Teyla and…" She grimaced for a moment. "Meeting her friends."

"Send Lorne and tell them their her friends." John stated without missing a beat.

Teyla raised an eyebrow and bit back a grin. "They will be offended if we do not send our best team." She would have been hurt about his comment on her 'friends' but knew he hadn't meant it in a bad sense or anything, so she let it drop.

"Yeah, well, they'll be even more offended if we do." John shook his head and glared at Elizabeth who hiccupped out a laugh. "I'm serious, Rodney's right. This is a really bad idea."

"Regardless, they'll only trade if they meet with you. I tried to explain the situation…" That earned her odd looks from both Rodney and John as they tried to imagine her explaining to a stranger race that they'd both been crapped by alien monkeys. "But they seem to believe it can't be as bad as I'm saying."

"No, it's worse." Rodney groaned from his seat.

"So, they want to meet with all of you, today." Standing up, Elizabeth looked torn between laughing and feeling sorry for them. "I'm sorry, but it's final. You're going."

Frowning, John joined her in standing and sighed. "Fine, but if they refuse to trade with us-"

"Or try to hunt us down!" Rodney interrupted

"It'll be on your head." Turning, John walked out of the room knowing the conversation was over, and he made his way straight to the locker room. On the way, he couldn't help but notice how the people parted in front of him, like Moses parting the Red Sea. It was slightly funny, and he was half tempted to pull a Moses, but instead, he huffed and stalked into the locker room to change for the mission.

It didn't take long for Rodney to join him, also grumbling. "I only just got out of the infirmary from that damn poison flower! Now they're gonna send us on a mission, already??" Frowning, he strapped his thigh holster on a little harsher than he usually did. "I swear, if I see _one_ monkey, I'm gonna shoot it!"

"Yeah, you and me both." I stated grimly, for once not really feeling like laughing at the situation. I'd seriously had enough of those damned monkeys by now, but it seemed they were as annoying as the Wraith.

We finished changing in the unsurprisingly empty room and left, finding the gate room almost as empty. Ronon and Teyla were there, and Teyla offered us a smile, even as her eyes watered from the smell. "Shall we go?" Her voice was a little choked from trying not to gag at the smell. It was a wonder she lasted through the meeting, but then she'd taken Ronon's hint and stood by the open window. _Right_ by it, with her head practically out it.

With a nod to Chuck, John sighed, wondering what kind of trouble they were going to get into at P4X-331. "Let's go." The wormhole stabilized, and he sighed before stepping through.

**(P4X-331, John's POV)**

The planet was nice. It was forested, like about seventy-five percent of the planets we tend to visit, and it was nice and cool. We could hear birds in the trees and water trickling by nearby…

"How far is it to the settlement?" Rodney frowned and eyed the gate. "And is it ok if I stay back and, uh….guard the gate?"

"I don't think so, buddy. If I gotta go, you gotta go. Come on." Frowning at him, I gestured with my head towards the path through the woods that Teyla was heading towards.

"It's only a few minutes walking distance." She called slightly, keeping herself a little ways ahead of us.

"That's what I was afraid of." He muttered, walking beside me. "At least the smell's faded a little. They might be a little more tolerant."

"Actually, I think it's just us getting used to it." I winced and shook my head.

The walk was actually pleasant for the most part. Unfortunately, it seemed this planet had monkeys, too. We could hear them twittering in the trees, and I stared warily at the little white creatures as they jumped from tree to tree above us. I didn't know whether to be worried, or not to pay much attention to it at all. After all, they weren't attacking us. Then again, if they were anything like Buttons... My hands went hesitantly to my handgun, and my eyes darted back and forth over the monkeys, trying to watch them all at once, so as not to get attacked from behind again.

"That's…weird." Rodney kept a hand on his P90 that swung against his chest, his other hand on the Ancient scanner. "As long as they stay up there and don't throw things at us, it's fine." He turned to Teyla who was watching the monkeys carefully. "Can we go now?"

"They are acting odd. They usually run from people other than the villagers." She frowned for a moment before sniffing carefully, making a face and looking at both Rodney and myself.

Rodney's eyes widened just as his face paled. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Don't tell me we're gonna-"

Suddenly, a small ball of white fur dropped down onto my shoulder and I jumped and spun. "Hey!" I flailed my arms, not really sure if I wanted to reach for my P90, my handgun or the monkey that was currently……..cooing at me? Stopping, I slowly turned my head and saw the biggest blue eyes I'd ever seen, staring at me as the little creature ran a long fingered little hand down my face before rubbing its face against me. "What the…?" Funny enough, it was small, furry, and..._seemed_ friendly. Then again, so had Buttons, until she met Rodney.

The little white monkey rubbed its face against me some more and cooed again, settling into my shoulder and holding on to my collar for balance.

Teyla began to smile. "It seems you have made a friend." Then she raised her eyebrow and turned to Rodney. "Is this what you mean about John's….'Kirk' quality?"

I felt my face turning red and glared hard at Rodney who was spluttering in laughter and looking half lost. "What was that…?"

Shaking his head, Rodney held his stomach and held up a hand. "No, no. Teyla, I was talking how he usually gets the girl in our missions." He seemed to look partially sheepish, and partially like he was having too much fun torturing me.

"McKay...." I let out a low growl, grunting as the little Monkey squealed and pushed itself against my neck even more firmly.

"He did get the girl." She pointed to the little white monkey. "The ones with the blue eyes are females."

Rodney stopped laughing for a moment and stared at me. His eyes went from me to the monkey and back again, watering as they did so. Then he busted up laughing even harder than he was before, leaning against the nearby tree and holding his stomach as he struggled to breathe and laugh at the same time.

Teyla grinned broadly and ducked her head, her shoulders shaking from silent laughter, and Ronon grinned from his spot on a nearby boulder.

Glaring at them all, I sighed loudly, choking when the little white monkey decided to stick her fingers in my mouth. Pulling them out, I spluttered and glared at her. "Eww! I have a pretty good idea where those fingers have been, thank you!"

Rodney slipped down into a sitting position, a fresh wave of laughter coursing through him. He had his eyes closed, tears leaking down his cheeks, so he didn't see the two little balls of fluff until one landed on each shoulder. He abruptly stopped laughing and a look of dread crossed his face before the nastiest glare I'd ever seen formed and was turned on them.

And yet they couldn't be happier to be on his shoulders.

"Well, Rodney. Now you don't have any reason to be jealous." I stated with a grin, absently scratching the little monkey under the chin and staring as her eyes closed and she started purring. "You've got two lovely ladies there."

"Actually…" Teyla looked positively evil by this point. "One is male. See? He has green eyes."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Wow, Rodney, I didn't know you swung that way."

"They must be attracted by the smell." Ronon stated, shutting me up instantly.

Looking up, I noticed about a dozen monkeys in the trees, staring down at us intently. Over half of them seemed to have vivid blue eyes, but some did have green eyes, too. They were silent and simply stared at us.

"Get off me, fur-brains!" Rodney scowled, getting up awkwardly with two monkeys hanging off him.

"I would not do that!" Teyla warned, grabbing Rodney's hand before he could finish raising to swat at the monkeys. "The Karrians value these creatures greatly. To have their attention like this is a blessing. If they even get the hint you've harmed or disrespected one, you will be hunted."

Face dropping, Rodney sighed and shook his head. "Any way to get them off me?"

"I do not know. Perhaps some time on this world and they will lose interest?"

"I'm just surprised they can take the stench." Ronon muttered, standing up and stretching a little.

The one on my shoulder cooed again and resumed rubbing her soft little face against my cheek, her fingers going from my ears to my hair to my cheek and to my lips, before going back to the starting point, like she was trying to figure me out like some sort of puzzle. It was actually not that bad, dealing with her. She was soft, seemed friendly… "Alright, lets go get this meeting over with." Maybe with the attention of these monkeys, the people won't be too offended by the smell. And if all went well, we wouldn't make any new furry enemies.

We continued out trek through the woods, the entire hoard of monkeys following us to the village. As Teyla stated, as soon as the Karrians saw the monkeys on our shoulders, they dropped to their knees, muttering about blessings.

Shaking my head, I gave Teyla a look before scratching the little monkey I'd named Sally. She crooned at my touch and wiggled into my neck a little further, curling up into a little white ball of fluff and closing her eyes.

"This is truly remarkable!" An elder woman came forward. "I am Terra and I am the leader of this village." Looking to Teyla, the older woman's eyes were incredibly wide. "Are these your friends??"

Teyla nodded with a small smile.

Pausing for a moment, the elder woman looked at the entire team before ushering Teyla into a huge hug. Next, she gathered Ronon into her arms, giving him a huge hug which he returned with surprising enthusiasm. She looked ready to do the same to Rodney, but paused again, frowning and hesitantly sniffing the air. Immediately, her eyes watered, and she smiled at us instead, and it looked kind of forced. "I am very pleased to meet you." She held up a hand almost timidly.

"Pleased to meet you, too." I stated, knowing the smell was working again.

"I am sorry, but we have an…important ceremony going on tonight, we will not be able to entertain your people long."

Why did I have a feeling it had nothing to do with a ceremony and everything to do with getting us out of here as fast as possible? "That's quite alright. We have some things to get…back to, ourselves."

With a nod, she gestured for us to follow her and we began our discussions on the way to the center of the village. Again, everyone parted for us, like a massive sea, either making disgusted faces, or gagging noisily and backing away quickly. Some even left the square all together. The servants who brought us food tried valiantly to ignore our…presences, but in the end, ended up leaving the food with Terra, the only one who seemed to be able to handle our smell.

"Please do not mind my people. They are unused to such strong…" She trailed off and gestured to me and Rodney apologetically. "I have encountered a species of money before, that produced such an odorous feces, I can only guess you've run into them too."

"I thought they didn't attack women?"

She nodded to Rodney. "That is true. However, they had no problem attacking my husband and brother, while I was there. We all escaped, but not being becoming covered in the stench."

Rodney nodded, his eyes full of hope. "Tell me, how'd you get rid of it?"

"We wait for over ten years for the smell to fully fade." She winced. "No one would have anything to do with us until it did. Things were….difficult, that is why I did not wish to put you out." She looked at the little ball of fur on my shoulder and then to the ones clinging to Rodney. "I believe that is also why they have been drawn to you."

"Like I said…." Ronon grinned. "The smell drew them."

Glaring at Ronon, I sighed. "Just how….friendly are these…monkeys?" I wasn't comfortable. Not at all. I wanted to swat the damn thing on my shoulder, but at the same time, Teyla's words kept ringing in my ears, about how these people saw the monkeys. Still, I was entertaining the idea of letting Ronon go on a hunting spree if he so chose. Hell, I'd more than willingly join him!

"….'Monkeys'?"

"That's what we call them on our home world. We have…similar creatures."

"Ahh, I see. They will probably insist on going with you." Terra blushed deeply. "You see, the smell you have is very much similar to the males of this species, and both males and females are drawn to it. It's used to mark brothers and mates."

"Only the males of this species isn't aggressive towards men?" Terra shook her head and Rodney frowned thoughtfully. "Ok, brothers, I can see. Mates??"

Nodding, Terra glanced to the lone little female on my shoulder and smiled softly. "When a male…monkey comes in heat, he produces that smell about as strongly as you are both wearing it. To the females, you are of their kind and in heat. To the males, you are a brother looking for a mate."

Blinking for a moment, I tuned out Ronon's loud laughter and Teyla's following bubbly laughter, and turned very slowly to the waking little white monkey on my shoulder. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes, and made a little twittering noise. It was actually kind of….sweet, but I was so not looking for a mate. "And if I don't want a mate? Wait, how can they possible see _us_..." I gestured to McKay and myself. "As fellow monkeys? We're nothing like them."

"I'm afraid, I don't know." Terra put in almost apologetically.

"You will have to leave them behind, but be prepared to be swarmed by monkeys whenever you come back, smelling like that." Teyla stated with a grin.

"Right."_ Luckily, next time we come back, we'll be smelling like ourselves again._ I turned the talk back to the trade negotiations, and though they didn't have a lot to trade, the Karrians were very friendly people and they warmly welcomed our people into their village…as long as they didn't smell like me and Rodney. After a couple of hours, Terra excused herself, saying she had to get ready for the ceremony and that if we wanted to, we could stay in the village tonight, but I turned the offer down, insisting we had to get back to Atlantis.

On our way back, I sighed at Sally, who had crawled down into my arms and stared at her sleeping form. Curled up, she was only the size of a softball, and her fur was extremely soft. It turned out they had rounded teeth from eating nuts and harder fruits. Unfortunately, we couldn't take them with us, so I carefully put Sally on the ground on a patch of dry leaves and stepped back, feeling a little bad for leaving her behind. _That actually wasn't that bad..._

Rodney stared at me hard and gestured to the two sleeping monkeys on his shoulders. "A little help?" Well, he didn't seem too reluctant to get rid of his burdens.

"But that's a good look for you." Actually, it looked like Rodney had pompoms on his shoulders, and for a moment I was tempted to shout 'Give me an 'R'!'. I felt around at my pockets, noticing as Rodney's eyes got darker.

"What are you doing…?" His voice was filled with suspicion.

I found my camera and quickly pulled it out, turning it on and taking a quick picture, even as Rodney's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "There! A little souvenir for the folks at home." Putting the camera away, I raised an eyebrow at him. "What? Do you want help with the monkeys or not?"

"Teyla? Ronon?" Rodney looked to them, but they stayed carefully away, both looking a little green from having to spend several hours with us in this smell. "Oh, come on! What did I ever do to you?!"

"You really want that list? It could take a while." I stated pointedly, walking over and gingerly taking the slightly bigger male and placing it down next to Sally. Next, I gathered the little female and laid her down next to the male. "Come on, let's go." It was funny how neither of them stirred as they were being moved. As we walked away, I couldn't help but look over my shoulder and snap a quick picture of the monkeys. I figured Elizabeth would get a kick out of it.

Our trip back was pretty uneventful, but Elizabeth definitely got a kick out of the pictures and the story about the monkeys. The first was thanks to me, and you can bet that picture of Rodney and his pompoms was circulating the Atlantis network within ten minutes. The second was thanks to Ronon and Teyla, who insisted we had to tell her _ever_ypart of our trip, including the story of the monkeys.

"At least this time they were friendly." Elizabeth offered once she was done wiping the tears off her face and had gotten her breathing back to normal. Her face was still red, but she smiled and shrugged.

_Too friendly._ I thought with a grimace as I settled next to the window in Ronon and Teyla's place, sticking them closer to McKay.

"So the trip wasn't _too_ bad." Looking a little michevous, Elizabeth grinned.

I shook my head. "Still, let's just…not, ok? No more off world excursions. They're not all gonna end so well."

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Not a good day but not a bad day, either. More of an embarrassing day.

Hope you like it

Written Tuesday October 4, 2008 (The dates are self notes as to when the story was written, and which ones are newer chapters)

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	29. Funky Week 5: Sunday

For those of you trying to follow along…

1st chapter: Rodney's Really Bad Days (RRBD) chapter #45 "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"  
2nd chapter: John's Really Bad Days (JRBD) chapter #14 "Rodney's Revenge"  
3rd chapter: RRBD chapter #51 "Buttons"  
4th chapter: JRBD chapter #19 "Monkey Madness"  
5th chapter: RRBD chapter #58 "Buttons Returns"  
6th chapter: JRBD chapter #21 "The Revenge Of Buttons"  
7th chapter: RRBD chapter #61 "Stuck In The Middle" (The Funk Begins...)  
8th chapter: JRBD chapter #25 "Funky Week 1:Monday"  
9th chapter: RRBD chapter #63 "Funky Week 2: Monday/Tuesday"  
10th chapter: JRBD chapter #28 "Funky Week 3: Wednesday"

11th chapter RRBD chapter #64 "Funky Week 4:Thursday"

**E. Nagrom** - Yeah, I didn't want to make it easy to get rid of the smell. I was definitely going for cute pompom monkeys, myself.

**Debbie418uk2** - I was going for cute, but I was also going for awkward with the in heat thing. LOL Well, I see your 'Funky Week 4: Thursday' and raise you 'Funky Week 5: Sunday'. I left off with no one knowing what happened to the Daedalus, so I'm looking forward to where you go with this one.

**Snow'sLuckyCat** - Huh, I didn't even think of the green eyes like John/Elizabeth, or blue eyes like Rodney/Carter. That was completely random. LOL, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the little jokes. Well, if Lizzie wants to go get sprayed by some angry monkeys on one world, she's welcome to go see the monkeys on another world. I think she'd get a kick out of the pictures, though. I was going for funny, but at the same time, the three sleeping monkeys would be adorable. A chance for John to be John and not only impress the girls of Atlantis with the cute pic, but make fun of Rodney with the other one.

**x Varda x **- Yeah, that's why I put it like that, to stick with the incoming supply of solvent and lemon on the Daedalus.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Don't worry about it. I did the same thing and hit the 'add story to favorites' button by accident, then went 'what the…?' when it told me the story was already added to favorites. LOL!

**Jasminesmommy** - They…._should_. LOL. It depends on how **Debbie418uk2** goes with her chapter. LOL

Yes, I did skip a couple days. ;)

Thank you all for sticking with this and I'm glad you like the chapters. Sorry for the late update, I had my wisdom teeth out Monday, so I'm only now beginning to get back to feeling like me again after wards.

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**(John's POV)**

Stalking down the hall, I was determined to ignore the whispers and looks on peoples' faces. You'd think after a week, they'd have gotten used to it, but we were pretty much banished from the lunch room after what we pulled after the skunk fiasco on the Mainland. At least, during regular meal times. I guess it was _kind_ of nice for Elizabeth to let Rodney and me know when we had the lunch room to ourselves, and all the extra coffee was a bonus.

"Colonel."

Turning, I nodded to Rodney as he trotted over, and gave a small smile. "How's it going?"

He rolled his eyes. "How's it going?? It's going terrible! They've kicked me out of my own lab! _Me_!! Out of _my_ lab!" Sulking as he walked, Rodney suddenly seemed to brighten momentarily. "Wait, what day is it?"

Counting on my fingers, I sighed. "Well, lets see… Monday we got insulted left, right and center by our own people. Tuesday you had a date that ended up with poison pollen from a flower." I winced, remembering that a giant bouquet of flowers had been my idea in the first place. "Wednesday we met those little pompom monkeys." I wasn't about to tell him why I called them that, though I was fairly sure he'd gotten a copy of the picture in his email by now. "Thursday we got kicked out of Atlantis to…" I made air quotations. "Let the place air out, and got sprayed by skunks..."

"Yes, yes…" Rodney made a face. "Thank you for reminding me of all that."

"And the last two days have been surprisingly quiet." Thinking about it I shrugged. "It's Sunday, Rodney."

"Took you long enough to answer a simply question." He muttered darkly, before brightening again. "Wait, if it's Sunday…" He checked something on his computer tablet that he was always carrying around with him. "The Daedalus is due in a few hours!"

That brightened my day considerably, as I'd practically forced myself to put the arrival of the Daedalus out of my mind. "Really?" Picking up my pace, I altered my course and began heading towards the nearest transporter.

"Where are you going??"

"I'm gonna go check on the Daedalus' status." I called over my shoulder, raising an eyebrow when I found Rodney trotting to keep up with me.

"You know you can use the radio for that, right?"

Stopping a moment, I turned to Rodney, made a show of carefully pulling my radio out of my ear, dropping it into my pants pocket, then gave him a mock innocent look. "I'd love to, but..." I tapped my ear pointedly. "I seem to have forgotten my radio." Giving him a grin I knew was bordering on evil, I turned and walked over to the transport. "Feel like joining me?"

Rodney looked a little shell-shocked, but over came it easily, practically ripping his own radio out of his ear and running over, dropping it into his vest pocket as he went. "I'd love to." As he stepped into the transporter and I hit the button, he turned to me. "Is this anything like what you pulled last nigh? Ordering Major Lorne to spar with you?"

I couldn't help but bust up laughing. "He lasted one round before he fell over unconscious." I knew I should've felt bad for that, but Carson checked him out and after giving me a royal lecture about knocking my own men out in a sparring match, he couldn't wipe the grin from his face for the rest of the night. Lorne was fine. Besides, it's not like I meant the smell to knock him out, I was just looking to use it as an advantage to kick his ass.

"Really, Colonel, you shouldn't be laughing at the misfortunes of others." Rodney couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he said it, though, so his scolding came out a lot less severe than he'd probably intended.

Turning, I called him on it. "This from the guy who assigned Wilson to recapture all the skunks on the mainland and return them to earth, personally..." I turned and raised an eyebrow. "_After_ hiding all the tomato juice on Atlantis."

Shrugging a little, Rodney grinned as he led the way to the control room. "That'll teach him to just let them go any old place."

"That involves you getting sprayed." I finished, watching as he looked ready to protest, only to shrug and grin again. Turning to the control room as we entered, I raised an eyebrow at Elizabeth, who was talking on her radio. She wasn't facing us, but I watched as she stopped, lifted her nose to the air, sniffed hesitantly, then coughed and covered her nose, turning to us right away. "Awww! There goes the element of surprise!" I groaned with a pout as she raised her eyebrow at me. Waving, I sighed. "We came to see the progress on the Daedalus."

"Well, their sensors are picking up some strange readings, so they're making a detour-"

"No!" Rodney glared almost dangerously. "We've been waiting for a week for this stuff! They can go check it out, _after_ dropping off the solvent!"

I paused for a moment. "How far out are they?"

"Two hours away." She stated, glaring right back at Rodney. "And I'm allowing the detour. It should only take an extra twenty minutes, and they'll still make it today." She folded her arms over her chest. "Why didn't you guys just radio in? I could have told you all this over the radio."

I bit back the grin as Chuck pulled his shirt collar up and hung it over his nose, Radek winced and stuck a clothes pin on his nose, and Elizabeth just pinched her nose shut, ignoring how nasally her voice was coming out. "Well..." Taking a second to get my reaction under control, I tapped my ear and widened my eyes a little. "I think I forgot my radio in my room."

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Well, I suggest you go get it. Don't you have lockers to inspect?"

Now I couldn't fight the grin as two female marines exchanged wide-eyed looks and turned, taking off down the hall. I knew they were on their way to warn the marines, and probably gather as many clothes pins as they could find. "Yes... Yes, I do." Turning to Rodney, I paused. "You wanna stay here and help them monitor the Daedalus' progress?"

"We've got it covered, Colonel." Elizabeth warned darkly, coughing a little before tapping her ear and returning to her discussion with, I assumed, Colonel Caldwell.

"I'm sure you do." I tossed back. Hearing a noise behind me, I spun to watch as Dr. Burns walked in. His eyes widened and watered severely before he began backing away. He coughed and covered his nose, and I struggled my hardest to look innocent as I followed him, backing him into a corner. "Dr. Burns? Are you ok?" He was one of the scientists who'd taken it upon themselves to make fun of us every chance they got, so being able to gross him out like this... "Oh, come on. What's wrong?"

Suddenly, his eyes rolled back in his head and he keeled over sideways. I lunged forward and caught the small man before he hit the floor and lowered him, grinning as I patted his cheek.

"Huh, that was easier than I thought." I tapped his cheek again. "Come on, buddy. Time to wake up." He didn't move and my grin faltered. "Dr. Burns, time to wake up." I tapped his cheek harder as my grin faded. _Crap! I must've really knocked him out!_ "Dr. Burns...?" Checking his pulse, I felt my eyes widen in horror.

"What's going on?!" Elizabeth was at my side, covering her nose firmly and trying to see through her watering eyes. She placed her fingers on Dr. Burns' neck and her eyes widened before she turned to me.

"Oh my god..." Turning to Rodney, I stared at him in shock. "He's dead."

Rodney's eyes widened, even has the rest of the personnel in the room gathered their equipment and moved even farther away. "What?! You're saying we're _lethal_?!" He didn't even seem to notice as Radek ducked out of the room with his gear, and Chuck quickly followed suit. The two other marines working the consoles just stayed as far away from us as possible, without leaving their stations.

"Alright, you two." Elizabeth was glaring, her eyes stuck on Burns' body. "I want you both in the infirmary, stat!" She tapped her ear and informed Caldwell she was going to have to get back to him but at the moment they had a medical emergency. Tapping her ear piece again, she kept her nose covered and almost lunged away from us as she pointed with her free hand towards the hall. "Go!"

Standing up slowly, I opened my mouth to explain it had all been an accident, but closed it again and turned, heading down the hall quickly and all too aware that Rodney was right behind me. We made the trip to the infirmary relatively quickly and quietly, neither of us really knowing what we could say in this situation.

**(Infirmary, Normal POV)**

Carson was standing across from John and Rodney who were each sitting on a gurney. He wore a medical mask and a clothes pin over his nose, over it, and stared at them grimly. "I've finished analysing Dr. Burns' body." He sighed. "It looks like his body was weak from recovering from a very nasty flu. I found strong evidence of infection in his heart."

Elizabeth was standing next to the door, Ronon standing beside her and actually looking a little green.

"I didn't know we were _lethal_!" John cried loudly, his eyes wide and almost pleading. "I was just trying to bug him the way he's been bugging us all week!"

Shaking his head, Carson shot Elizabeth a look. "You didn't kill him, lad." His voice sounded awefully funny the way it came out with the clothes pin. "The infection in his heart was remains from pneumonia. Your smell..." He seemed to wince behind his mask. "The smell caused his asthma to act up, putting a lot of pressure on his lungs and his heart rate went through the roof."

"Then I _did_ kill him." John's face was almost white.

"No... He shouldn't have been up, and he should have had an inhaler on him. The fact that he was straining himself, and he _didn't_ have an inhaler is what killed him."

"But the smell triggered it." Rodney sighed loudly.

Now Carson paused. He looked to Elizabeth before looking back and sighing again, nodding hesitantly. "Aye, the smell caused the asthma attack. You're not 'lethal', got it? But until the Daedalus gets here, I'd feel better if you both stayed in your rooms. Just to keep any further..." He hesitated and seemed to resist the urge to roll his eyes. "_Casualties_ to a minimum."

"'Casualties'?!" Rodney's eyes went wide. He opened his mouth to argue, but then sighed. "Well, when's the Daedalus gonna get here? We've been here over twenty minutes, already, so they should be here soon, right?"

Now Elizabeth winced and sighed. "Not necessarily. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but during the fiasco with Dr. Burns, we lost contact with the Daedalus. I'm not sure where they are, or what's going on. I've got Lorne's team standing by to take a jumper out there."

"Wait, why not send us?" John realized the answer to that as soon as he opened his mouth and winced, closing it and waving a hand. "Never mind."

"If there's any sign of foul play, we'll send you and Rodney to the enemy ship to...talk." Elizabeth's lips twitched a little. "Otherwise, I'd also like you both to stay in your rooms for now. We'll keep you updated, alright?"

"Not like we've got much of a choice." John muttered darkly, staring at the gurney. He found himself wondering what happened to the Daedalus and if everyone was ok. Part of him wanted to resist his orders, but recalling Burns' face, he bit back a wince and got up, carefully heading towards his quarters.

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Ok, so this is NOT the end, I'm just going to wait and see if **Debbie418uk2** can do anything with it. :)

Hope you like it

Written November 12, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	30. The Perfect Storm 1

**NOTE**: Ok, basically, **Puddle-Jumper38** made mention of Joe Flanigan hating boats and it gave me an idea for another earthbound John adventure.

Also, I won't be replying to reviews in this two-chapter update, but I will with the next.

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**(John's POV)**

As I threw another coil of rope onto the boat, as well as two more backpacks with spare clothing and food, I turned to Ronon who looked doubtful and Teyla who looked plain old confused. "What?" I grabbed a bag Carson had packed, full of medical equipment and carefully handed it to the said doctor, who took it inside, passing Rodney on his way. "Rodney! No computers!"

"You can't be serious!" Rodney straightened his light blue t-shirt and frowned over his sunglasses. "I never go anywhere without it!"

_Why doesn't that surprise me?_ "No computers means no computers. Besides, do you really wanna risk frying it if a sudden storm hits, or it ends up in water?"

Hesitating a moment, Rodney growled and shut his computer before getting up, walking over and handing it to Colonel Cameron Mitchell, who was standing there with a smirk.

"Aww, come on, Rodney. You don't get too many vacations in the SGC, this is supposed to be a time of relaxation." Turning, he handed the computer to Sam, who smiled at Rodney before walking off. "Not to mention, General O'Neill being nice enough to lend you his boat."

And a nice boat it was! There was easily enough room for the five of them in the lower rooms, and a large kitchen. It was kind of like a yacht, only smaller. Sturdy she was, and I planned to have a hell of a time! We had to make sure everything was packed, including lots of extra food, and nothing with citrus. Still, Carson insisted on making sure there was a veritable infirmary on board. Actually, I'd classified one spare room as the infirmary as a joke, but Carson was all for it, saying you'd never know what could happen on the ocean.

"Yeah, well, I find working on my computer very relaxing, thank you very much." Rodney grumbled with his arms over his chest.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, there are computers on the bridge." I raised an eyebrow as without even a word, Rodney turned and speed walked off. "Damn! I gotta do something about that addiction of his. It's not even funny anymore."

Cam laughed and shook his head. "Trust me, it'll never work. When you get back, I'll tell you the story of the time I thought the same as you, and the scars Daniel gave me, for trying to do something about it." Seeing the said scientist glaring at him, he held up a hand in surrender before grinning and waving to me. "Well, you guys have fun." Turning, he walked back to the car.

Same and Daniel waved, and wished them the same before dragging a curious Teal'c and Vala off with them.

"I still do not understand the purpose of this...outing." Teyla carefully stepped toward board the boat in a pair of jeans and a tank top. "Is it some sort of exercise?"

Ronon grunted and hoped over the edge, staggering a step sideways as the boat tilted a little under the pressure. He was also wearing jeans, but decided to forego the top. I was with him on the top part, but as for the jeans, it was more cargo shorts for me, in black. "Yeah, I mean, can't we go hunting? You said we get to hunt big..." He paused and frowned for a moment.

"Game." I supplied helpfully, holding out a hand to help Teyla into the boat, as she seemed more cautious. "We call it game. It refers to large animals that are typically hunted..." I trailed off and shook my head. "We hunt on alien worlds all the time, buddy. This time we're gonna really relax. We're gonna fish, and camp out on this boat, and if you want you can even go swimming." I gestured to the vast ocean around us.

Teyla walked forward, only taking a second to adjust to the difference of walking on a slightly more unsteady surface than earth. I knew this was her first time on a boat, but she didn't seem to mind. "Did you not say the waters had large, dangerous fish in them?"

"Yeah." _Not like I'm worried about some fish when it comes to the two of you. _"But as long as you're not bleeding and you don't go too far from the boat, you should be safe." Grabbing the last duffle bag of supplies, I walked ahead of them and lead them to the bridge, thankful that Cam untied the ropes keeping the boat at the dock. "It'll be fun."

Ronon still didn't look convinced, but remained quiet as he followed me and Teyla.

As we entered the bridge, I noticed Rodney frowning over some computers. He looked at the screen for one before muttering something under his breath and rushing to another.

"Something wrong?"

Looking up, he stared at me a moment before shaking his head. "Well, there's apparently a small storm warning in the area." He typed on one of the computers and sighed. "It just showed up."

"How small...?" I asked cautiously, already seeing the excuses to go home on Rodney's face.

He shrugged. "Well, it doesn't really seem like much... I mean it could be bigger, I don't know..."

"Well, this boat can handle some pretty tough storms." I dropped the duffle bag on the floor and walked over to the controls. Tapping my ear piece, I tilted my head a little as I took the steering wheel and turned on the engine. "Lady and Gentlemen, if you'll please fasten your seatbelts, we're about to depart." I stated in a pleasant voice. Hearing Rodney muttering behind me, I shook my head and began to pull out of the dock. "Alright guys, we're off." I tapped my ear piece again and kept my eyes on the vast ocean, my mind running over all the possibilities of the things we'd be able to do.

And yes, I allowed the ear pieces as they seemed like a pretty good way to keep in contact around the ship, if there were any problems.

**(At the Cars, Normal POV)**

"Trust me, I've learned my lesson. I won't steal your computer ever again." Cam raised his hands in defense as Daniel gave him a raised eyebrow. They stood by the car as Sam typed on one of her own laptops and frowned. "Everything ok, Sam?"

"I..." She looked at the screen and frowned a moment before turning her gaze to the departing boat. "There's a storm warning for our area."

"So? If it's just a small storm-"

"That's just it." Sam typed rapidly on her computer, her eyes fixed once again on the screen. "It is, for the moment, but it has a lot of potential to turn into a possibly deadly hurricane." Closing her laptop, she grabbed an ear piece from the glove compartment and slipped it into her ear. "I need to warn them, I have a bad feeling about this trip of theirs."

All of Cam's levity was gone, and he exchanged a grim look with Daniel. In all honesty, he was torn. It was just a small storm, after all, but what if Sam was right? Looking out to the water, he pursed his lips as Sam tried to contact the others.

"John, it's Sam, do you read?" She frowned. "Rodney, are you there?" Surely _he_ never took his ear piece out. Still nothing. Standing up slowly, slipping out of the car as she went, she glanced to the others. "Colonel Sheppard, if you can hear me, please respond."

Cam frowned and shook his head, mentally judging the distance of the boat from them. "They're too far away." The boat was moving pretty quickly, and the radios only worked for a certain distance.

Vala shrugged. "It's just a small storm, right? Isn't that Rodney character always at a computer? If he is, I'm sure he'll see the warning, too." Swaying a little in boredom, she sighed. "I still wish you would've let me go, too."

"They would've tossed you overboard before the day was out." Cam stated dryly. "She does have a point though." Looking to Sam, he raised an eyebrow. "If the storm thing goes south, we can always ask the Daedalus to beam them outta there."

Hesitantly, Sam pulled the ear piece from her ear and looked out at the boat. "I guess you're right." Looking first to Cam, then to Daniel, she sighed. "I just have a bad feeling about this."

The rest of the team watched as the boat disappeared on to the horizon, none of them wanting to admit they all had the same feeling.

**(On the Boat, A Few Hours Later, John's POV)**

"Come on, Rodney. This has got to be more fun than sitting at a computer, doing work." I moved my rook and sat back as Rodney took a moment to analyze the board. "No deadlines, no one rushing you, just a week of relaxation."

"And yet you made me get rid of my computer." Rodney's hand hesitantly went out to the board, but he paused mid way and frowned. "I don't understand why you don't get that to me, my computer _is_ fun."

"It's a computer, Rodney. We're spending this vacation with friends, not metal objects." Raising an eyebrow, I bit back a grin as Rodney unknowingly fell into my trap. As the said scientist pulled away from the board, I made show of thinking of my next move, but after a moment, I pushed my Knight towards Rodney's Queen, which was right beside his King, effectively trapping them in a circle of my pieces, and shrugged, leaning back. "Checkmate."

Rodney's jaw dropped and he eyed the board critically. "Oh, that's not fair! You call this _fun_??" His eyes visibly scanned the pieces, looking for a way out of it, or to find some sort of non-existent clue that I'd cheated.

"Yes, Rodney, I do." I stated with a grin. Folding my arms across my chest, I watched as the corners of his lips twitched a moment in amusement before he put on a show of glaring at me. "What? You wanted a rematch." Funny enough, when you got past his hard exterior and learned how to read him, Rodney could be a pretty cool guy.

"Yeah, well, I want another one. I swear you're cheating. No way can you beat me." He folded his arms over his chest and pushed his chin out in a sign of defiance.

"Not only have I beat you..." I leaned forward and gathered my pieces, resetting the board on my side while Rodney did the same on his side. "I beat you three times in a row, today alone. You _sure_ you want a rematch?"

Rodney glanced up at me, but then his eyes slid past me and they narrowed. His face, which was set in it's usual look, turned grim and he frowned even deeper than before. "That doesn't look promising."

"After three games? No, I didn't think so, either." I stated with a smirk, watching as his eyes slid back to me and he glared once again.

"Yes, yes, I was talking about the almost pitch black sky for miles behind you." He pointed as he abandoned the pieces and grabbed a portable computer he 'borrowed' from the bridge. "That 'small storm' isn't looking so small at the moment."

Turning around with a frown, I felt my eyes widen as several blinding streaks of lightning shone through the sky. My eyes lowered from the looming storm, and I watched Teyla swimming in front of the boat. "Teyla!" Jumping up, I raced towards her and leaned over the railing. "Teyla! Get out of the water!" Her head spun towards me from the storm and she frowned in confusion, but swam in my direction with an amazing speed. It was only a moment later and I was helping her into the boat.

"John...?"

"That storm..." I nodded my head towards the said storm while handing her a beach blanket to wrap around her wetsuit-clad body. "If the lightning hit the water, you'd be fried." I gestured for her to go ahead of me, and we made our way back to Rodney, who was staring at the screen with wide eyes. _I don't wanna know._ "Rodney...?"

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no… That 'small' storm I mentioned earlier? It's not so small anymore. It's bordering on turning into a full blown hurricane!" Rodney glanced up to me with wide eyes. "And I mean one strong enough to tear this ship to pieces!"

Frowning, I turned to the storm and hesitated. It was only our first day out, but if Rodney was right… "Alright, we'd better head back." Turning to Teyla, I raised an eyebrow at her confused face. "You'd better get inside and get dressed, it's probably gonna get pretty wild. And can you let Ronon and Carson know what's going on?"

She hesitated for a moment, looking out to the storm before turning back and nodding. "I will." Hurrying off, she entered the door that led down to the lower deck and the rooms.

Turning back to Rodney, I watched as he gathered his chess pieces. "Uh, you might as well leave them. Unless you were planning on playing chess out here, during the storm."

Stopping for a moment, he let his pieces drop and walked over them carefully before giving me a bland look. "Yes, I planned on sitting out here and freezing my ass off for a rematch with you." He answered dryly. "It's General O'Neill's game, I thought I'd take the moment to gather the pieces while you take the boat in."

Shaking my head, I turned and made my way to the bridge. "The game's replaceable, and I'm sure he'd understand." I climbed the stairs, beginning to notice as the boat rocked back and forth over the currently gentle waves. Opening the door to the bridge, I held it for Rodney before walking in after him. "You think you can keep an eye on the storm as I take the boat back?" I went over to the controls and hit the button to automatically retract the anchor so we could leave.

"Right." He walked over to a panel and typed something, placing the portable computer on one of the consoles and plugging it into it. "Ok… Oh, no…"

Turning, I saw Rodney's eyes widen. "What?" I turned the wheel and frowned as the boat seemed to turn slower than I would have liked. Keeping my attention half on what I was doing and half on Rodney, I frowned as he typed quickly on the console. "Rodney, what?"

"I don't think we can out run that storm." His wide eyes shot up to me before darting past me.

Looking out the front window, I frowned as the storm grew steadily closer. It was alarming how fast those once calm waves were turning choppy and vengeful. "Right, well….we'll just have to do our best, then." I turned the wheel harder and the boat turned further. It seemed like it took forever, but I got the boat turned, only to stagger as a particularly nasty wave hit us.

"What the hell's going on?!" Carson came rushing into the bridge with Ronon and a freshly dressed Teyla behind him. "One minute the ride's calm and the next I'm struggling not be sent head first over the railing!"

Ronon staggered a little to the wall and held on to a console as another wave hit us. "I thought this ride was supposed to be relaxing."

Teyla made her way unsteadily over to me and looked out the window. "The storm is moving quickly."

"I noticed." I ground out through gritted teeth, struggling to hold on to the wheel as the pressure of the ocean tried to rip it out of my hands and turn the boat back around. We finally got our backs to the waves and I put the boat in gear, moving us as fast as I could.

The boat rose up and down, and unsteadily rode the waves as we tried to make a run for it. Another powerful wave hit us, and I almost fell over as with a nasty crunch, we hit something. "Tell me I'm hearing things…" I groaned as I looked to all the flashing icons. "Crap! We've sprung a leak!" I kept a firm hold on the wheel and tried to keep going, but remembering something O'Neill mentioned, I looked at a red flashing light and felt my eyes widen. "Ronon! Take the wheel!"

He staggered over and looked at me like I was nuts. "What am I supposed to do with it?"

_Not gonna say what just crossed my mind there... _"Just hold it in this position." I stated grimly as he took the wheel, holding it steady with one hand, and grinning a little when I muttered 'show off', and I moved away. "Rodney, I need you to help Ronon keep an eye on the icons here, and Carson, I need you to keep an eye on the storm."

Staggering towards the tool box by the door, I slipped and fell heavily against the sharp edge of a console, grunting as something seemed to snap and a sharp pain ran through my side. Hesitating only a second, I pushed myself back up, holding my breath against the pain as I grabbed the toolbox and made my way to the door.

"What're you nuts?! You're going out in this?!" Rodney gestured to the heavy rain that had started to fall.

Carson seemed to eye me in concern, but remained quiet and held on for dear life as the boat swayed again.

Turning to him, I raised an eyebrow. "We gotta stop the waver from getting in, or we're gonna sink!" Raising an eyebrow, I held my breath again as the pain faded to a dull ache, before letting it out quietly. "Why? You volunteering?"

"I don't know anything about fixing boats!"

"Didn't think so." _Not like I'm a genius at it, but it's pretty simple. Find the hole and seal it shut._ Turning to the door, I tapped my radio and opened the door, walking through it and squinting to see the stairs through the rain. "Let's keep an open radio contact."

"John!"

Turning to see Teyla behind me, I looked at her expectantly and blinked in surprise as she left the bridge and stood behind me. "What're you doing?"

"I'm coming with you!" She had to raise her voice to be heard over the rain. "I can be of no help in there, but I may be able to help you!"

I hesitated a moment before nodding and turning. I carefully made my way down the stairs, heading along the slippery deck, and only managing not to fall into the drink though holding on to a safety rope attached to the outside of the ship. I made it to the door down and waited for Teyla to make her way over to me, though I didn't have to wait long as she seemed to have less trouble with the walk.

Opening the door, I immediately noticed the hall was half filled with water and winced. _This is gonna be cold._ "Come on!" I carefully headed down the stairs, avoiding the two life jackets that were sitting precariously on the steps, and made my way into the water, hissing as my legs almost instantly froze from the cold. Still, I kept going, holding my breath as something pulled in my side again and the pain renewed. Once I was down the stairs, I felt a hand touch my back briefly and looked over my shoulder to see Teyla. "We're gonna have to split up to find the hole!" I called over the noise of the water rushing around, and the pouring rain. Not to mention the thunder that was quickly getting louder, the longer we were in this storm.

My radio beeped and I heard Rodney's voice come through. "We can't outrun this storm! Isn't there some way to…I don't know, protect us from it?"

"Yeah, we get out of it!" I called. "Look, we don't have a choice but to keep running as long as we can! Try the radios, hopefully we're still in contact range of the coastguard!"

"What're _they_ gonna…." Rodney trailed off.

"…Rodney…?" I stopped down the middle of the hallway and gestured for Teyla to search the room on the left as I turned to the room a little further down on the right. I would have given it more time to wait for a response, but the water was rising rapidly. It was only up to our calves when we came in, but now it was up to my mid-thighs. "Rodney!" The boat swayed dangerously, and I lost my balance, falling against the wall, the banister digging into my side. Gasping as the pain shot through me, I blinked and kept my eyes closed when everything darkened and threatened to turn black. After a moment, I opened my eyes and staggered on, making my way into the next room and looking around.

"I think I may be able to modify the radio to contact the Daedalus! I _might_! I mean, I have most of the basic materials! There's no guarantee, but… It won't be much, and it'll probably overload our power supply limits, but we should be able to get a brief S.O.S out!"

"Do it!" The longer we were in this storm, the worse it was looking. I saw the bed almost floating, and frowned as I checked the small window. Not even a crack. Looking at the murky blue water, I winced and knew I was going to have to go under to find the hole. I put the toolbox on the only stationary object in the room, the dresser, and waded in, the water up to my waist by now. The closet was fairly sturdy, and I knelt down, gasping and groaning as the icy water froze every part of my body it touched. I felt around the edges of the closet and found nothing.

"John? Are you alright, lad?!"

I winced as I moved along the wall, my head swimming from the combination of the cold and the pain in my side, which seemed to be getting more and more pronounced the longer I stayed in the cold. Nothing was along the wall. I made it over to the bed and put my hands on the frame, pushing on it to move it away from the wall. It didn't budge. _Oh, this is _so_ not my day!_

"John?!"

"Wha…?" I blinked and refocused. "Yeah, I'm fine! Water's cold 's all!"

"John!"

Turning, I blinked and took a moment to focus on Teyla's figure in the doorway.

"There was nothing!"

Nodding, I gestured for her to take the next room and resumed my look in this one. I had to put more effort into moving the bed and winced, trying not to groan as my side pulled and I couldn't catch my breath for a moment. Tears came to my eyes, and I momentarily panicked, leaning on the bed as I struggled to breathe. It bobbed up and down and the icy water lapped at my arms, but the only thing I could feel was the tingling numbness as I struggled to get my lungs working. Luckily, it only lasted a moment and I gasped fresh air into my lungs greedily.

The water was now up to my waist. Every time I bent down, it got dangerously close to going over my head, and once it did, it would be a lot harder to find and stop the leak. The salt water was hard on my eyes, and with how cold it was, I didn't think I'd be able to handle being fully submerged for long. I got the bed out of the way and began feeling along the edge of the wall.

_There._

There was a small hole and I could feel the icy water rushing in. Standing up quickly, I staggered backwards as I was hit with a dizzy spell and fell over backwards, hitting my head on the dresser. On my ass in the water, I stayed there as the room spun slowly. I wanted to get up but it was a matter of moving, which I didn't have the strength for at the moment.

"I'm almost done recalibrating!" I heard Rodney's voice over the radio.

"John, what's your status?!" Carson was there, sounding suspicious and worried all at once.

I opened my mouth and frowned. My body was numb, but I suddenly remembered the hole in the wall. "I…" Shaking my head, I rubbed the back of it gingerly, already feeling a bump forming on the back of my skull. "I'm fine!" I got up slowly and gasped as my vision went dark and my side pulled. Breathing was painful, but I made my way over to the toolbox. "I found a hole!" _And hit my head, and might've pulled something in my side... _Grabbing an underwater blowtorch and a sheet of metal that should be big enough, I grabbed some insulated gloves and slipped them on. _Huh, why didn't I think to look for these before?_ Going back to the hole, I knelt down, wincing and biting my lip before leaning forward and feeling along the wall for the hole. Finding it, I placed the metal over it and held it steady before lighting the torch and working on sealing the wound.

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Oh, wow! This turned out way longer than I planned! Well, this was written due to a comment from **Puddle-Jumper38** who told me Joe Flanigan doesn't like boats. I have no idea why, but this is my take on why John might not like them ;) And also a mention from **Debbie418uk2**, here's another earthbound misadventure! :)

P.S., Yes this is going to be a two-parter.

I'm not sure how to do hypothermic, concussed, injured ribs, etc, so if I made any mistakes, please let me know.

Hope you like it.

Written November 3, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	31. The Perfect Storm 2

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**(The Bridge, Normal POV)**

Rodney was frowning at the icons. "We're taking on too much water!" Going back to his work, he rearranged some chips and looked at the microphone on the console in front of him. "I think I'm almost done, I just need a little more time!"

The bridge was deafening with the sound of the booming thunder and pounding rain. Ronon held the wheel steady, turning it as Rodney guided him, every now and then, to keep the boat on as straight a line as possible. He was still only holding it with one hand, but he'd switched hands in order to hold on to the console, to keep from being tossed across the room from the way the boat kept swaying.

Carson was standing next to the door, glancing out it with an anxious look every now and then. He then would turn his attention to a medical bag that had been left on the bridge and would seem to contemplate it.

"Carson, what?" Rodney had glanced up and frowned at the worried look on the doctor's face. "What's wrong?"

Hesitating a moment, Carson slowly made his way over to Rodney and tapped both their radios with a frown, closing the connection. "I think the Colonel…_John_ is hurt!" He glanced at the medical bag before turning his attention to the console he'd seen John fall against. _He fell against it hard enough, and he did hit his ribs on the sharpest edge_. "He might have cracked or broken ribs, and if he's in cold water!" He trailed off, knowing that Rodney knew from experience the sorts of things cold water could do to a person, especially one that was injured.

Rodney's eyes widened and he looked at the project he was working on. "Teyla's with him!" He picked the pieces back up and began reanalyzing them before placing them back into the radio, but in a different order. "She can make sure he's alright!"

"Open radio contact, I heard him tell her to search another room!" Carson frowned grimly, clearly not approving of the decision, though he probably knew it was for the best. "They've split up!" Making a quick decision, he walked to the medical bag and picked it up before walking to the door.

"Carson! You're supposed to keep an eye on the storm!"

Spinning around, Carson shot Rodney a look. "It's hit us and it's damn strong! Happy?" Turning back around, he slipped out the door and began to work his way towards the door leading to the lower deck.

Meanwhile, Rodney looked at the radio and gave a silent prayer for just a few minutes to make sure it was done right.

Ronon grunted and held on to the wheel, the buzzers and whistles and red flashing icons beginning to annoy him.

**(Lower Deck, John's POV)**

It took a little doing without a wetsuit and proper eyewear, but I got the hole sealed up and stood up slowly. I was freezing and parts of my body that weren't already numb were beginning to go numb. Frowning, I noted the water was up to my lower chest and I probably wouldn't be able to check along any more walls without being fully submerged. Heading over to the toolbox, I tried to ignore my discomfort and put the torch away before grabbing the box and heading out of the room. Now I had to find Teyla and see about her progress.

It was kind of scary down here. I mean, you watch all these movies about flooding and think that there's nothing to getting out of those situations, but actually being faced with those same situations. The water was _so_ cold! It was high and growing higher by the moment. There was obviously more than one hole, and the one I patched might not have made a difference. It was hard to think straight, let alone see straight with my side aching and it being so difficult to breathe as I bent.

The water reflected on the walls and ceiling, and with the lights still on, it gave the rooms an eerie blue glow. I could hear the water splashing as I waded through it, and if I hadn't known there was an easy way out, I might've panicked. As it was, I was beginning to get worried, and feeling a little claustrophobic. Moving quickly, I began my search, knowing that the longer I stayed down here, the worse it was going to get.

It took two more rooms, which I'd guessed Teyla checked and found nothing. As I passed one of the rooms, I paused and looked inside, seeing the automatic pump O'Neill had pointed out was for automatically pumping water out of the lower decks, obviously, and made my way to it. I got the window op, thankful that even this part of the ship was still a ways above the water level, though with the way the ship was going, it wouldn't be for long, and stuck the end of the tube out of it before starting the machine. It took a few tries and a few moments, but the pump started to pump water out of the window, and I moved on to the next room. It probably wouldn't help, but what could it hurt?

"Teyla?"

She was no where to be seen, and I was standing in the last room, the makeshift infirmary. Beginning to actually panic, I glanced back to the previous rooms and hesitated. What if she'd gotten caught under the water? There was no way I'd be able to search all the rooms before she drowned! Hearing a splash, I spun around and saw Teyla's head bobbing in the water, her usually tan skin pale and her lips bordering on blue. "Here!" She called, waving as she saw me. "I have found another hole!"

Wading over to her, I frowned and shivered, the water was up to my mid chest. "Where?" I noticed she was shivering too, and was about to order her to head up, but some part of me fought that urge, maybe knowing she wouldn't go even if I did order her up.

She swam over to the wall and ducked under a moment. When she came up again, she coughed and wiped the water out of her face before placing her hand on the wall. "Here, at the bottom of the wall."

Making my way over to her, I placed the toolbox on one of the gurneys Carson had insisted on bringing with us, starting as it rolled across the room, only to roll back and hit me surprisingly hard, despite my efforts to stop it. It propelled me into the wall and pinned me there, and I cried out a little as the pain from my side shot up to my head and down to the tips of my toes. My body might have been numb, but I sure as hell felt that! My lungs constricted from the pressure and the cold, and I couldn't breathe with the gurney pressing me there. I gasped and tried to shove it away, knowing my efforts were weak.

"John!" Teyla made her way over quickly, visibly shaking, and pushed the gurney out of the way with seemingly little effort. "Are you injured?!" Her face was grim and worried, and her eyes scanned me even as her hands gently roamed my side, pulling a hiss as she ran over a tender spot. "You _are_ injured!" Frowning, she opened her mouth, but the unexpected voice seemed to startle her out of whatever she was going to say.

"Colonel?!" Carson's voice came sharply through the radio, but funny enough I'd have sworn it nearby and in person, as if he was close. "What's going on??"

"No-" I gasped and closed my eyes a moment, struggling to keep my mind from going fuzzy on me. I could breathe again, but it was even harder than before, and my legs were beginning to feel rubbery. Scratch that, they've been feeling rubbery for a while, but now they threatened to give out underneath me. "Nothing! We're almost done!" Turning to Teyla, I shook my head. "We need to seal off this hole, but I can't do it!"

She opened her mouth, looking for all the world like she was going to protest or scold me, but then sighed, shaking her head and seeming to resign herself to the fact that neither of us could do this alone. "Then help me!" She went to the toolbox and opened it, looking inside cluelessly. "What do I need?"

Wading with some effort through the water, I stood next to her and picked up the underwater torch. I took a few moments to explain it to her, and give her the gloves, taking a deep breath and trying not to panic as the water lapped at my upper chest. Breathing was getting more difficult, more because it felt like my lungs didn't want to work, and it didn't help that there wasn't much room to navigate. Everything looked chaotic, and apparently even with the pump on we were still gaining water.

For a moment, my mind flashed through movies I'd seen where people drowned or nearly drowned in these types of situations. Jaws and Deep Blue Sea were the first two to come to mind, and I actually found myself looking around for a fin swimming through the water. For a moment, I almost thought I saw one, but it turned out to be the back of a mostly submerged chair turned at an odd angle.

"John?!"

I gasped in surprise to see Carson in the doorway, soaked to the bone, looking a little worse for the wear and almost glaring at me. _Where the hell did he come from??_

"'Nothing' is wrong, aye?" He stated with a pointed look at me. We swam over and put a medical bag on the gurney next to the toolbox. Then he took my arm and had me hold on to the said gurney. "What's wrong??"

"I will seal the hole!" Teyla took two sheets of metal, eyed them for a moment, then adjusted the gloves before diving under with her equipment.

"Doc-"

"Don't you 'doc' me, lad! I wanna know what's wrong? Your ribs, no doubt, are the source! I saw the fall and your reaction! What else?!" Carson pulled a stethoscope from the bag and slipped it under my shirt. Even on a sinking boat, in the middle of a storm, he was about to diagnos me. "Your heart's pounding!" He frowned and shook his head before quickly removing the stethoscope and leading me to the door. "I want you to go to the stairs and wait for us!"

I shook my head firmly. "No! I'm staying until Teyla's done!"

"There's nothing you can do! Go! Doctor's orders!" He pushed my arm and gave me a look that dared me to argue. "Listen, I know you're worried, but you're only getting weaker down here. Go!" He spoke quieter, giving a small push. "I'll watch out for Teyla!"

Wanting to argue, I looked to where the torch was flashing under the water and frowned a moment. "Oxygen!" Looking around the room, I ignored Carson's questions and his firm tone telling me to leave, and I waded past him towards a cabinet on the wall. _One of the reasons I chose this room as the makeshift infirmary..._ Opening the cabinet, I pulled the two small canisters with mouth pieces from it and turned back to Carson. "Air!" I gave them to him, or, rather, tried to. He accepted one, but gave me a stern look and gestured to the door, waving for me to leave.

"You're gonna need it more than us, lad!" He stated. "Now don't make me say it again!" He pointed to the door and gave me a look.

With a sigh, I turned and swam through the door, wincing and stopping as I made it to it, using my hand on the wall to keep from going under as I was hit with a fresh wave of pain.

"Co-John?"

Shaking my head, I held up my free hand and struggled to walk out. I waded through the water that was now up to my neck, gasping as I went. About a third of the way down the hall, I put the mouthpiece into my mouth and used both hands to push stuff out of the way. Tables, chairs, mattresses and lamps were floating along the hall, not to mention other things. Luckily, the lamps weren't plugged in.

I pushed a mattress out of the way and stumbled onto it when it got stuck in a doorway. Falling forward, I gasped sharply as I went under, and closed my eyes instinctively, trying not to lose the small oxygen container from my mouth. I carefully took a deep breath and pushed my way upwards, biting into the plastic mouth piece as my side protested and my vision swam again.

Forget numb and freezing, I was now beginning to feel hot. I wasn't sure if the dampness on my face as I surfaced was water or sweat. I could feel my heart racing, probably more than I should have felt it, and my body trembled. I felt tingly all through my body, as if I was being electrocuted, and I frowned as the hallway seemed to stretch on farther ahead of me.

The ship lurched, and I was sent sprawling backwards. Still I managed to hold on to the oxygen container, but I felt the ear piece slip from my ear and when I tried to catch it, it slipped from numb fingers, falling into the water. _Damn!_ I tried to reach it, but the more I dug around in the water, the more it seemed to float away, out of reach. _Forget it._ Looking up again, I suddenly saw it.

A fin.

_That's.... That's not possible....!_ My eyes widened. I opened my mouth to cry out, and didn't even notice the canister fall from my mouth, or disappear under the water. "Shark!" I cried, trying to warn the others, I looked around and spotted a lamp floating near me. Grabbing it, I tossed it with all my strength, ignoring the pain it caused, and watched as the shark seemed to swim out of the way before the lamp could reach it's destination. "Crap!" I looked around some more, and the ship lurched again. Staggering sideways, I hit the wall hard, smacking my head against the unforgiving wooden surface. Everything swam horribly and I couldn't see straight. I heard voices calling to me, but I couldn't focus enough to pay attention.

"John!" There were hands on me and I managed to focus enough to recognize Carson's face. "Colonel, you need to stay with me!" He seemed to reach for something, and then a bright light shone in my eyes.

"H-Hey!" Feeling the water lapping at the bottom of my bottom lip, I shivered and managed to stand up, suddenly alert, though everything seemed to feel surreal. I looked around and frowned before my eyes widened. "There's a shark-"

"No, lad, you're hallucinating!" Carson grabbed my shoulders and spun me towards him, staring right into my eyes. "There's no way a shark could get on board, you know that!"

"But-"

"We should get him out of the water!" I heard Teyla's voice, the tremors in it showing how cold she was.

"Aye, I agree!"

I looked down the corridor and frowned. It seemed so innocent and empty, besides the things floating in the water, and the door looked so close. I tried to stand up straight, stretching my legs as far as they would go to keep my face fully above water, and hit my head on the ceiling. Hissing and jumping in surprise, I rubbed my scalp and looked up. My head was almost against the ceiling.

"No, the ceiling didn't get any lower!" Carson frowned as he tugged on my arm, moving beside me. "The water's getting too high!" His eyes narrowed a moment and he tapped his ear. "Aye, we're here! That's good, tell them to hold on a little longer!"

Taking a deep breath, I winced, trying to stay focused and walk with Carson. We seemed to be making good progress. It was hard to focus, but the door was getting closer. Then my foot got caught on something. I didn't even have time to register what happened as I went down, the icy water surrounding me. I didn't have a chance to take and hold a breath, or cry out, all I know was I was suddenly surrounded by salt water.

I struggled to the surface, my hands flailing wildly, but it felt like something had wrapped around my ankle, holding me under. I felt something on my arms, and came up a moment, gasping and hearing Teyla and Carson calling my name, but I couldn't stay up. My vision blacked out and my legs gave out, and I went under again. I accidentally opened my mouth to cry out in pain and surprise as my side chose that moment to scream at me, and choked on water that seemed to flood my lungs. Everything burned, and I felt like I was going to be sick, but at the same time, like I was going to burst. I couldn't breathe!

I felt tugging, I fought... I don't know what I was fighting. The water...? The tugging...? Everything faded out, and I let myself fall into sweet blissful darkness.

**(Normal POV)**

As John passed out, Carson dragged him up, tilting is chin to keep his face above water. Teyla dove down and found the cord wrapped around his ankle and holding him in place. It took Teyla a second, but not only did she get the cord untangled but grabbed the fallen air canister.

"He's not breathing!" Carson knew there was no room for mouth to mouth, and carefully shifted John so that he had both arms around the Colonel's chest, and began dragging him to the stairs where he laid John's back against a wooden plank, so there was a safe sturdy surface to press against. Motioning for Teyla to move to John's head, he thanked whatever God there was that the ceiling was higher at the stairs and leaned a little over John. He quickly began chest compressions as Teyla worriedly watched John's face.

It took a moment, both Carson and Teyla getting more and more worried by the moment, but then John spluttered and coughed up water, wincing and groaning, but not waking.

Teyla handed the second canister to Carson, who put it in John's mouth once he was done coughing up water, and held the canister there, watching a moment as the Colonel's chest barely rose and fell. "We must go!" She was then startled by the door swinging open, and two figures rushing in, almost tripping over them in the process.

"Major!" Teyla called, accepting Lorne's hand and climbing out of the water. She stood still as a Marine wrapped a big, fluffy towel around her and nodded her thanks before turning to watch as Lorne helped Carson carry John out of the water. The same Marine wrapped a second towel around John's prone body, and a third around Carson. "How did you get here?!" She, too, had lost her radio.

"We received a pretty weak S.O.S. from this location!" He called over the storm, swaying with the ship a little. He hurriedly led them to a ladder that was dangling from one of two helicopters. "We already got Dr. McKay and Ronon on board the other helicopter! We couldn't beam you out, too much ionization from the storm! It made the transporters dangerous to use!" He waved for Carson to step back as the Marine started up and a stretcher was carefully lowered from the other side. "We had to use conventional methods!" He grimaced in distaste, showing his opinion of these 'conventional' methods. "No offence, but give me transporters and jumpers any day!"

Teyla nodded with an understanding smile as Carson and Lorne worked to get John situated safely on the stretcher and on his way up to the helicopter.

"Ladies first!" Lorne moved out of the way of the ladder and held it steady while looking at Teyla. She gave him a confused look and he shook his head. "Earth manners and an old saying! Go ahead!"

Nodding in gratitude, she carefully situated the blanket on her so that she could climb easily, and before long, the entire group was on board the helicopter, on their way home.

**(SGC Infirmary, John's POV)**

"Wow, I kinda feel bad about the boat. How's General O'Neill taking it?" Sitting up in the hospital bed, I winced as my cracked ribs protested, and settled back against the pillows.

"He's just glad everyone's ok. His own words were 'boats are replaceable', so..." Sam shrugged and grinned. "Besides, it wasn't a total loss. He did have insurance, and we were able to salvage a lot of the boat, thanks to your quick thinking."

"You mean the quick thinking that almost drowned him?" Carson asked with a frown. "I'd have preferred he stayed on the bridge and we let the boat sink."

"Gee, that's the thanks I get for lending you my boat?"

Turning towards the doorway, I noticed General O'Neill standing there in his uniform, eyeing Carson with a raised eyebrow. "General, sir!"

"Relax." Seeing Carson's almost apologetic look, Jack raised his hand. "And I was joking about the boat. Please, the military practically gives me these things daily." He was only half exaggerating, and everyone knew it. He rolled his eyes and gave a grunt that stated he wasn't as pleased about it as most would be. "And like Carter said, I had insurance." Looking at me, he tilted his chin up briefly. "How're you feeling?"

"Cracked ribs, hypothermic, a hair's width away from drowning, and a concussion...." Shrugging a little, carefully, I sighed. "There goes my vacation, but at least I'm alive."

Nodding momentarily, Jack eyed Sam, who grinned, before turning back to me. "Don't count your chickens before their hatched. I spoke to Landry, who in turn spoke to Weir, and they're extending your little vacation." He nodded to the others. "You and your team."

I wasn't really sure what he was saying. So I still had a vacation, I was pretty much ordered on bed rest for at least a week. What could I possibly do?

"So... Planning to head back out on to the water...?"

"NO!" Everyone in the room protested at once, including me. Shaking my head, I sighed. "Thanks, but I think I lost my love of boats with that last little incident. You won't be getting me on a boat again any time soon."

Jack's lips twitched and I had the feeling he was playing with me. He nodded slowly, and seemed to think about it. "I know this quaint little place... It's like a spa, and you are treated to massages and..." He shrugged. "Usual spa-like-stuff, by these cute little...." Seeing Sam's look turn a little sour, he paused and seemed to rethink his words. "Well, I'm sure you'll like it. I booked it for you and your team, next week." Taking a step back, he grinned. "Glad to see you're all alright. Remember, no heavy lifting, and...have fun." With a wave, he turned and walked off.

"A spa....?" Rodney looked up from his computer, his interest piqued. "Really?"

"As long as we don't have to take a boat to get there." I muttered as I leaned back and closed my eyes. "I've definitely decided I don't like boats anymore."

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**Debbie418uk2** – I rewrote the CPR part, so I hope it turned out. Thank you so much for your help. :) It just hit me with John's ribs being injured, but he's unconscious, so I don't think it would affect him at the time...? I'm not sure.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - See what your comment inspired? LOL

Hope you like it.

Written November 3, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	32. Mr Mom

**Puddle-Jumper38** – Starplate, huh? LOL That's an idea.

**Debbie418uk2** – With Rodney, poetic justice is easy enough. The tomato juice was cute. LOL Well I love how it's going so far. :) With how many times John hit his head, I'm surprised he wasn't put in a coma. LOL. Not to mention, if they're unconscious, they might not notice the pain at the time. Nah, Ronon was too busy showing off by keeping the wheel steady with one hand. ;)

**Jasminesmommy** – Yeah, I wanted to do something a little more serious with the stink.

**E. Nagrom** – I tried to make a lot of the problem NOT be John, so it wouldn't be too bad, but I didn't realize that either way, the stink was lethal. Actually, Daedalus coming in with lemon but not Solvent would have been a horrible day for Rodney. LOL 5…4…3…2…1…BLAST OFF! LOL Thank you, I'm glad you liked Carson's little smart mouthing.

**Sparklyshimmer2010** – I had to go back and recheck that chapter to figure out which one it was. I couldn't help but laugh over the ending. Ouch for John. I don't have too many chapters with Elizabeth, but I am trying to keep the main cast (John's team with Ronon, Carson, Lorne, and Elizabeth) at least mentioned in most of them.

**x Varda x** – Thank you, I am feeling better. :) Some chapters will be funny, some will be serious. I like to vary ;)

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**(Normal POV)**

Sauntering into the mess hall with a huge grin, John grabbed a fruit bowl and a fork and walked over to the table where the rest of his team sat down. He couldn't help humming to himself as he peeled back the top and dug in.

"Wow, you sure are happy." Rodney observed with a raised eyebrow.

John shrugged but remained quiet.

"Maybe it has something to do with that cute girl SG-5 brought back from the village on P4X-335." Ronon put in. "The little red head with the big-"

"OK!" Holding up his hands, Rodney glared at Ronon. "We really don't need the details."

"_Eyes._" The Satedan finished pointedly.

Grinning, John shrugged again and finished off his fruit bowl. "We had a nice….talk."

"Oh sure. I bet you did." The grin on Ronon's face said differently, though. "A nice, long, _private_ talk, right? Would explain why you didn't meet me for our run, earlier."

Pausing a moment, John frowned thoughtfully. "Was that…? Oh, sorry." Shaking his head, he looked over. "We'll do the run later, ok? I've gotta get to a mission briefing." When he saw the looks he got, he raised an eyebrow. "It's nothing! Look, I'm just supposed to escort Kayla back to her world, with Major Lorne's team."

"And why you?" Rodney pursed his lips. "No offence, of course."

"None taken. Me, because I'm the base commander, next to Elizabeth, but I'm also military. Safer to send me, apparently." With a brief wave, John sighed and turned away. Heading to the trash can, he paused and eyed the fruit cups before reaching out and grabbing another one, sticking the spoon in his mouth as he left the mess hall.

**(Two Weeks Later, John's POV)**

"Look, I'm just surprised everything went off without a hitch." Typing away on his computer, Rodney raised his head and looked over at me, as I was keeping an eye out around a corner, my P90 raised. "I mean, normally, you end up insulting the people, or have some one night stand thing going on."

"Well, not this time. She's asked me back after our mission." Frowning as my stomach flip flopped, I hiccupped quietly and focused back in the hallway. "We're still clear, anything?" Ignoring my sudden nausea, I turned to Rodney as I heard him typing.

"Almost… There! The scan's complete." Staring into the glow coming off from his screen, his eyes narrowed. "What… There's nothing there!"

"Nothing…" Swallowing heavily, I closed my eyes a moment before reopening them. "Ok, let's go." I probably would have made a customary complaint, except that I wasn't exactly feeling well at the moment.

Rodney must have noticed that, too, because he looked up at me like I'd grown a second head for a moment. "'Let's go'? That's it? You're not gonna suggest some completely insane reason for this? Or suggest something suicidal? Are you ok?!"

"Rodney." Staring at him, I raised an eyebrow. "I'm not feeling so hot." Turning around to face him fully, I closed my eyes and dropped my P90 to my side as a dizzy spell swept over me. "Whoa!"

"Sheppard!" Stumbling to his feet, Rodney unplugged his computer from the doorway he was working on and put the cords away before hurrying to my side. "Geez! What's wrong with you?!"

My only response was to double over and gag forcefully as a heavy pressure pressed in my stomach. A nasty hot flash ran through me and everything spun as I lost what was left of my lunch on to the debris covered floor.

Luckily we were still on Atlantis. Granted, an unexplored section of the city, in a hallway that, until recently, was under water, and stank of rancid salt… _Oh, that's not a good thought_ I thought as I gagged even harder.

"Oh, that's nice. That's very, very nice. Thank you for that." Rodney grimaced and tapped his radio. "Uh Ronon? Teyla? Um, Colonel Sheppard's kinda-"

I let out a particularly loud gag, unintentionally.

"Yeah, sick." He finished, while making a face. Coming closer, he leaned down and put a hand under my arm before transferring some of my weight to him. "I'm, uh, gonna get him to the infirmary. McKay out." tapping his radio again, he made a face as he carefully climbed _over_ the mess and led me along the hallway.

It took us longer than necessary to get to the infirmary, and by the time we got there, I was done feeling nauseous, but now I felt horribly drained, and strangely….bloated? What the hell?

"What's the problem, lad?" Carson asked as Rodney helped me up onto the bed.

"Puking, mainly." Rodney put in.

"Thanks for the reminder." I stated sourly, trying to ignore the lurch of my stomach at that.

"Any reason for the nausea?" He asked, grabbing my face carefully and shining a light into my eyes. When I hissed and pulled away, he frowned thoughtfully. "Hmm, and a sensitivity to light? I'd better run some tests."

Of course, he chased Rodney off for that, and pulled several vials of blood for testing. When he eventually came back, I was about ready to eat a horse, I was so starving, not to mention I was exhausted beyond all belief.

"Well not _all_ of your tests are back, but from what I can tell, you're fine. I'm going to prescribe that you get a good night's rest and don't do any heavy work until I have the rest of the results, but you're free to go."

Nodding in relief, I blushed as my stomach growled and rubbed it gingerly before hopping off the bed. "Thanks, doc. I'll be sure to keep that in mind." Starting out of the room, I waved over my shoulder. It was late evening, and as I figured, the mess hall was empty. For a moment I paused, wondering if anyone let Kayla know I wasn't coming tonight. Then I brushed it off, I could talk to her first thing tomorrow. Right now I needed to eat.

Unfortunately, there was nothing out as I entered the room, and it was empty, so I went to the kitchen. Looking around, I tried to decide what I felt like eating. I remembered Rodney mentioning meatloaf night, and though I wasn't too fond of it… "I'm just too hungry to care." Walking to the fridge, I opened the door and my eyebrows shot up at chocolate cake that sat on a platter, and a plate of meatloaf. "Hmm…"

I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. I grabbed the platter that held the remaining chocolate cake, and the plate of meatloaf, and put them on the table beside the fridge. Grabbing some cold coffee, I raised an eyebrow and shrugged. Opening the platter and plate, I didn't even bother cutting it up. It was like I lost all control of my senses. As soon as the smell of the food hit my nose, all that crossed my mind was how damn hungry I was. Reaching out to the food, I just let instinct take over.

**(The Next Morning)**

I was feeling full as I walked down the hall to the control room. _Too_ full. My stomach was cramping, and I wasn't sure if I was going to be sick or explode. For a brief moment, I wondered if I actually _did_ eat a horse, or some alien equivalent of it at least. Just as I was contemplating going to the infirmary for antacids, I saw Elizabeth walking in my direction.

"Hey, Elizabeth? What's going on?"

She was frowning deeply and examining a small data pad in her hands. Looking up, her eyes widened. "Oh, John. It's nothing serious, I think…" Pausing, she scanned the pad again. "Um, well, it looks like someone broke into the kitchen last night and took a massive amount of food."

At the mention of food, I swallowed heavily, trying to ignore the nausea that seemed to hit me full force. It didn't help my pants were feeling tighter than I was used to, and not in a good way. I could barely get them on today, and the belt was done up a lot looser than usual. I was feeling even more bloated than before.

"They took the meatloaf from last night, the chocolate cake that was for desert. They also took about a gallon of coffee, a bag of carrots and more."

Blinking for a moment, I vaguely recalled… "Elizabeth?" Seeing her confused look, I felt my eyes narrow. "Um, I think… I think I ate the meatloaf and cake."

Her eyes widened and she lowered her hands to her sides. "John! There was enough there to feed a good dozen people!"

_And I ate them both…at once… Eww… _"Um, and I drank the coffee."

I didn't think it was possible, but her eyes widened even more. Looking over me, they narrowed as her gaze lingered on my stomach. "John…? Maybe you should see Carson."

"I was just…really hungry." I muttered, starting to feel strangely irritated. Shaking my head, I raised my hand. "Look, I didn't mean to make anyone panic or anything, I was just hungry. I won't do it again and I'm really sorry."

"It's not healthy for anyone to eat that amount. I really think-"

"No!" Jumping at the sharpness in my own voice, I stopped when she backed off a step. "Uh, I'm…sorry." Rubbing the back of my neck, I frowned. "Wow, I really didn't mean to snap." Frustration bubbled up and I sighed. "I need to get a bit of a run in, I'll see Carson after, ok?" Not even waiting for an answer, I turned and rushed off down the hall, trying to figure out why I was so frustrated and irritated.

I didn't even wait to get back to my quarters and change. Instead, I began my run ahead of time, racing down the corridors. I knew people were wondering what the hell was up with me since I was running down the hall in my messy uniform, and I didn't understand it myself, but I ran through the halls, past the many marines, and I ignored the beeping of my radio.

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot up through my stomach and into my chest. Stopping cold, I nearly stumbled over my feet as I made it to a wall. Leaning on it, I breathed sharply, trying to get the pain under control.

Another one.

It came from my stomach, and if I didn't know any better, I'd have sworn something was moving in my stomach. I began to doubt running off the way I did. _I should have gone to Carson._ I thought as I took another deep breath, wincing at the pain that shot through me. _I mean first of all, eating a ton of food, puking for seemingly no reason on the investigation to the lab, and now this? Something's seriously wrong. Why didn't I listen?!_

"John?"

More pain, and I gasped, leaning even more against the wall as I opened my eyes and stared up at Teyla as she approached.

"Are you alright?"

_I should have gone to the infirmary! What was I thinking?!_ Lurching forward, I wrapped my arms around Teyla, feeling my body shake as I was overcome with panic. "What the hell was I thinking?! Why didn't I go to the infirmary?!" I was shouting into her shoulder, and I felt hot moisture running down my face. "Oh my god! Something's wrong! Something's really wrong!"

It was all too much. One minute I felt like I was going to lose my mind, the next, a sharp pain sent me spiraling into darkness.

**(Infirmary, Normal POV)**

"Do you know why he collapsed the way he did?" Elizabeth was staring worriedly at John, who was resting on one of the beds in the infirmary, hooked up to an IV and heart monitor.

"I…" Staring at the results, Carson's eyes were the widest anyone had ever seen them. "Oh dear lord! There must be some mistake!" Turning to the nurse, he stared at her plaintively. "How many times did you run Colonel Sheppard's blood work?"

"Three times, sir." The girl looked curiously torn between being amused, confused and concerned. "All three results came out the same."

"This…isn't possib-oh, right, another galaxy." Pausing a moment, he sighed and closed his eyes. "Another galaxy, all new alien civilizations…" Turning to Elizabeth, he frowned. "Remind me to discuss new off world protocols with you."

"Doctor, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Well, from the results, it appears I know exactly why John is acting the way he is. The sickness is in fact morning sickness. The hunger, and obviously strange cravings… The moodiness, the pain…" Turning to her, he seemed slightly amused, even while being concerned. "I'm afraid Colonel Sheppard is pregnant."

For a moment, Elizabeth just stood there staring at him like he'd lost his mind.

"I'm serious. His blood work proves it."

"Whoa! Waitaminute!" Rodney came rushing into the room. "Did you just say what I think you said, because I think you just said John's got a baby in him. As in baby, living thing, life form. _Pregnant_?!" His eyes were wide. "Oh my god! It must have been that alien chick, the one from the colony we recently settled a trade alliance with. Um, what's her name….?" He snapped his fingers quickly. "Oh, Kayla!"

Snapping out of her thoughts, Elizabeth stared at John a moment before turning to Rodney. "Ok, so go get her and bring her back. I wanna know what's going on."

**(Later)**

Kayla, dressed in a white pants suit, was standing in front of Sheppard's Team, Elizabeth and Carson, who were all seated around the conference table. "I don't understand."

"We need to know if you were at all…." Elizabeth hesitated, realizing how this could sound to the young woman. "Well, intimate with Colonel Sheppard. It's actually quite urgent."

Frowning for a moment, she tilted her head. "Well, we did perform the Ku'andal. It is considered a sacred ceremony of intimacy with my people. I don't understand, we do not normally speak of it. Has something happened to John?"

"Yeah, you could say that." Rodney snorted out, struggling to remain calm. "He's carrying a child."

Her eyes widened and briefly flickered to an almost black before returning to the normal blue. The others would have been worried, if they had not already realized it was normal for her people. "This is not possible. What you say cannot happen. It is the women who bare the children."

"It is the same with our cultures, as well." Teyla put in gently. "But his culture and your own are not the same."

"Aye, lass." Carson stood up slowly. "I believe a negative reaction between something in his body and something in yours has caused this."

"I am meant to be the one carrying the child." She said softly. Pausing for a moment, she frowned. "May I see him?"

With a nod, Elizabeth silently allowed it. With Carson and the remaining trio of Sheppard's Team escorting her, they went straight to the infirmary, and everyone froze to see John, but for Carson who already knew what was going on.

His eyes were closed, and besides the IV and heart monitor, there was an oxygen mask on his face. He was dressed in an infirmary gown, and under a white blanket, but they did nothing to hide his state. His stomach was definitely swollen at this point, with an obvious 'baby bump', and he was showing signs of growing in the chest area, as well.

Rodney choked when his eyes landed on the increased bust. "Producing milk…already?" An image of John breast feeding an infant crossed his mind and he choked as he giggled hysterically, at the same time trying not to be grossed out by the image.

Teyla slapped his arm, but a smirk teased the edges of her own lips as well, and Ronon grinned broadly.

"Besides not being able to get enough oxygen on his own, because the child is pressing into his lungs, his body was having problems producing the vitamins and proteins the child needed, so I used a special IV to help with that. Otherwise, as I'm sure you all can see, his body seems to be adapting to the pregnancy."

Walking slowly over, Kayla's eyes were horribly sad. "Is… Is he in pain?"

"He was, before he passed out. But I believe that to be because he'd been running, and the exertion was too much for the child."

"It… It is still early enough." With a nod, Kayla's face turned determined before she turned to the doctor. "If you could help me, there is a ceremony which will transfer the child to my body."

"But the child has grown in size, much too large for your body to handle."

"No." Shaking her head, she cocked it sideways a little and her eyes flickered again. "That is access fluid retained around the child. Unnecessary, and in most cases, often harmful. If you can help me set up, I can safely transfer the child to myself, and the fluid will drain away as he drains other body fluids."

Rodney made a face and took a step back. "Oh, thanks for that. There's an image I didn't need."

Smacking his arm lightly, again, Teyla glared at him, though a trace sparkle of amusement was still seen glittering in her eye. Turning to Kayla, she nodded. "I will help you gather the required items."

**(Infirmary, Two Weeks Later)**

"Wow, I'm really gonna…be a dad?"

Rodney snorted and grinned as Kayla nodded and held her slightly rounded stomach. "Better than being a mom." He muttered, grinning as Ronon choked back a laugh, and Carson grinned, while checking John's vitals.

Looking at him darkly, John shuddered and stared down at his body, clearly thankful everything had returned to normal after the successful ceremony that transferred the child to Kayla. "Rodney, watch it." Staring at her, he watched as she petted her stomach softly, a fond look on her face. It melted something inside of him, and he felt a smile forming on his face.

Strangely enough, he found himself missing the idea of having a kid, himself, but he quickly forced it aside, sure that it was the last remains of the hormone imbalance the pregnancy had caused.

Yeah, Carson even warned the others he would still be moody for a while.

_Maybe…_ John glanced briefly at Rodney and his mind flashed to the fresh, hot coffee and blue jello. _Maybe I can use that to my advantage._ Waving Kayla forward, he ran his hand over her stomach and smiled, meanwhile planning the ways to milk the hormone imbalance for all it was worth.

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Mommy Johnny? LOL! Oh, poor John. Reading over this was awkward and I couldn't help but laugh at points.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you

Tenshi


	33. You Can't See Me

**Sparklyshimmer2010** – Well, I wanted to point out how John's kirkiness can get him into trouble, so there will be mentions of other women. But at the moment, I'm working on a two-parter that centers on John and Elizabeth (hints of sparky?). Oh trust me, there are pairings I like and pairings I dislike. I like Sparky, myself, and ever since watching the episodes with Teyla being pregnant and having an Athosian child, I kind of got past John/Teyla.

P.S. I couldn't very well have Elizabeth get John pregnant. Well, ok, I _could_, but that would be a whole separate story. LOL!

**E. Nagrom** – That's too true. I can just see a bunch of ancient women, Larrine, Chaya, and more, all coming to tell John. "I'm having your baby". Can we just see the Maury episode to follow? LOL I like that: "John pregnant by…"

**Jasminesmommy** – I actually got the basic idea for the pregnancy from Star Trek Enterprise, with Trip Tucker getting impregnated. It _had_ to be done for John. LOL That's what I was going for. :)

**Debbie418uk2** – Nah, John's Kirk. He'll never learn. Besides, if he did, he wouldn't be as much fun to write for. :D LOL

**Puddle-Jumper38** – Hey, that actually works, too. 'The Starplate Files'. I could see it.

I got the idea for this one from 'The Invisible Man', and a book I used to read, 'Polgara The Sorceress', where I got the idea of the sorceress.

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**(John's POV)**

"I told you that Kirk complex of yours was going to get you into trouble some day." Rodney was grinning madly.

Glaring at him, I sighed and walked beside him. "Don't go there. It's not like I was trying to offend her."

Frowning for a moment, Rodney shrugged. "Well, she's an alien sorceress. Who knows what would have insulted her?"

"Gee. I didn't think 'wow, you're really pretty' would insult her."

Now Ronon kicked in his own two cents from a little distance back with Teyla. "Maybe it was the 'I thought witches were all ugly and wart-faced' comment you said afterwards."

"I didn't even say that to her!" Raising my hands in a sign of frustration, I realized how useless it would be and dropped them again. "Is it my fault she could hear me from over a mile away?!"

"Your fault for not being careful where you said that." Rodney muttered with his grin still intact.

"I believe the Colonel has been made fully aware of his mistake." Teyla put in, finally, though she too looked beyond amused. "I am certain this...spell...will wear off soon."

"Well..." Thinking about it a moment, I suddenly grinned. "Hopefully not _too_ soon."

"Oh, here we go!" Rolling his eyes, Rodney shook his head and stopped walking, turning back to stare at the air about two feet to the left of me. "You just got turned invisible by a pretty pissed off sorceress for insulting her, and you're already planning more perverted things, aren't you?"

"Who said that?" I raised an eyebrow, watching as Rodney's head turned in my direction.

"This is gonna be irritating as hell." He muttered. "I can't even see you to talk to you!"

Grinning a little, I shrugged. "Come on, lets get going." Leading the way, I brushed past Rodney and struggled not to laugh when he jumped and yelped in surprise.

"That's _so_ not funny, Sheppard!" He called, taking off quickly to keep up.

Laughing a little, I lead us back through the woods, to the gate. "Ok, I'll dial." Hitting the chevrons, I waited until the wormhole stabilized and reached for my radio, only to remember I didn't have it anymore, or my P90, or my handgun, or my knife… Or, well, anything. "Someone wanna send their IDC through?" I asked, trying not to sound as embarrassed as I felt.

**(Atlantis Briefing Room)**

Elizabeth walked into the room and sat down in her usual seat before looking around. "Alright, I'm here. What's going on? Where's John?"

I was about to open my mouth, to say something, when I realized how freaky this would be to her. Hesitating a moment, I wondered if I should scare the hell out of her by talking, or remain quiet and let the others fill her in. _Hey. I get out of reporting, that way._ I thought. Then it hit me. _But Rodney will be able to turn this around to make me sound really bad._

_...Ok, so there's no way to make me look good in this, but still..._

"He's here...I think." Looking around, Rodney groaned and rubbed his eyes. I poked him in the shoulder and he yelped, again.

"I don't understand."

"The Colonel accidentally upset a local sorceress and has been turned invisible for it." Teyla put in helpfully.

"He pissed off the priestess." Ronon stated bluntly. "Now he's the invisible man."

I couldn't help but chuckle at his reference, watching as Elizabeth jumped.

Her eyes widened and then they narrowed. "Do you think this is funny, John?! What the hell happened _this_ time?!" It didn't take her any time at all, it seemed, to absorb this situation and get thoroughly pissed.

"He said she was pretty to her face, then turned around and made a comment about witches supposedly being ugly and having wart covered faces, behind her back." Rodney was struggling obviously, not to grin.

"She was over a _mile_ away." I ground out. "How was I supposed to-You know what? Never mind." Getting up, I walked out the luckily open doorway.

"John!"

Ignoring the cries, I walked out of the room, irritated and tired. I didn't feel like getting into a debate with them over this, I knew what I did wrong. Walking down the stairs and through the gate room, I grinned at two cute marines, then frowned when they walked right past me, not even noticing I was there.

_Hmmm... That's a down side, but there's a lot I could use this for._ I thought as I kept making my way through the halls. Debating on what to do first, I found myself outside one of the main training rooms. Lorne was in there, alone, and was practicing martial arts. _Well, well, well..._ Sneaking into the room, I saw a small stereo on a bench and walked over, flipping the volume to max before turning it on.

The sound was deafening, and Evan stumbled and fell over mid kick, before spinning around and looking through the entire room. "Hey!" Getting up, he walked over and turned the volume down before turning the radio off. At that moment, I decided to poke him in the side.

Yelping in surprise, he jumped about a foot high and spun around, looking through the room. "What the hell??" He lowered into a defensive stand, and I took that moment to kick his legs out from under him. "Oof!"

Hearing him curse, I turned and walked out of the room, grinning. I knew he'd be freaked for a little while, and made my way to the mess hall.

_Ooohhhh. Blue jello._ Walking over to the food, I stared at the single blue jello sitting there, knowing everyone knew it was for Rodney and Rodney alone. Snatching it up, I heard a squeak, and turned to find a small group of new marines staring at the seemingly floating jello in shock and fear. _This is too good to be true._

**(Alien Planet, Normal POV)**

"Why exactly did she send us back?" Ronon asked in a bored tone as the trio stalked through the woods and back to the small settlement.

Rodney sighed and looked about as irritated as the Satedan felt. "Because Elizabeth wants us to find out if there are any detrimental effects, and if the 'spell' will wear off on it's own."

"And if we can talk the sorceress into changing him back." Teyla added with a nod.

"I will not!" Came the haughty response.

As the trio stopped and raised their weapons, a single form appeared in front of them in a glowing white light. It shifted and solidified into a stunning female form, clad in a deep blue gown with long, flowing sleeves and a slit up one side of the skirt, showing off a long, tanned leg. The sorceress glared at the group with emerald green eyes, and long black hair with a white streak down the one side.

"He had no business insulting me." She continued as she folded her elegant arms over her chest.

"Ok, look, you're right." Rodney sighed. "He did insult you, but it wasn't intentional. On our home world, many people believed for centuries that witches and sorceress' were older, uh...not-so-pretty women."

"Watch yourself, Dr. McKay, or I might do the same to you." She warned, her eyes glowing brightly. "I don't care what your beliefs are, he still had no right vocalizing those thoughts where I could hear them."

"He honestly did not believe you would hear him." Teyla seemed to realize that, that wasn't going to help and tried not to wince. "Will there be any negative side effects?"

"Oh, of course. The longer he remains invisible, the more his spirit will fade, until Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard fades from existence entirely."

"And is the spell permanent?"

"Only he can break it."

The three members of Sheppard's Team regarded the sorceress quietly, obviously waiting for her to continue, but she stared back at them coolly, showing she had no intention of doing so.

"Well?" Rodney crossed his own arms over his chest. "How can be break the spell if he doesn't know how?"

Now she sighed. "It's up to him." She said with a shrug as she began to glow. "Good luck." With that, she disappeared.

"Hey! Wait!"

Too late. She was gone.

"Oh, this isn't good." Turning to the others, Rodney's face dropped. "We better get back to Atlantis. Elizabeth's gonna want to hear this."

**(With John, John's POV)**

_Wow, why am I so tired?_

I had no idea how long I'd been invisible. After juggling Rodney's jello with a fruit cup and a cup of red jello, for a while, I'd snuck it back to my room and shoved it in the fridge. I guess Elizabeth must have informed someone of what was going on, because my door was left open for me. Normally I'd be a little irritated at the intrusion, but right about now I was just glad for the consideration. Now, about the blue jello, I know what it looked like... Don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning on eating it. I just planned to hide it and watch Rodney have a near heart attack when he found out it was missing. I'd give it back, honest.

I made my way to the control room, and to Elizabeth's office, where she sat staring at her table with a worried frown. "Elizabeth?"

Jumping and gasping, she looked around with wide eyes before realizing that I was there. Which of course, she knew because she couldn't see anyone else in her room. "John?! Oh thank god! There you are!"

"What's going on?"

With a sigh, she placed her elbows on the table before leaning her head into her hands and rubbing her temples. "Rodney and the others just got back from talking to the sorceress."

"Oh, so she won't change me back, I take it." Strangely, I yawned, feeling really tired, and frowned. "So we'll just find another way."

"No, you don't understand. There _is_ no other way." Looking up and around the room, she almost glared. "John, if you don't figure out how to break the spell yourself, you'll...'fade away'."

"Huh?"

"I don't really understand myself. She said that it's up to you to break the spell or you'll fade away until you 'cease to exist', her words."

Frowning deeply, it dawned on me then that I'd been feeling strange for a while. I was noticeably more tired than usual in the briefing room, earlier, but not that bad. Now, I was beyond exhausted, cold and almost feeling faint, like blacking out. Maybe I just needed sleep, but it was definitely worrying.

"John?"

"Oh! I'm, uh... I'm still here." Looking away, I realized that I'd been spending my time, playing pranks on people when my very life could be in danger and I never once realized it. I hadn't even stopped by the infirmary, not that Carson could do much, if he couldn't see me. "So, what do I do?"

"I have no idea."

"Right." Turning at the doorway, I was about to walk away, when it hit me how worried everyone probably would be, if I disappeared again. "I'm...gonna go to my room." I informed her, walking off without even waiting for a response.

**(John's Room)**

How long had I been sitting here? Looking out my window, I noticed it was dark out. Must have been a few hours at least. I hadn't even eaten or grabbed a beer, nothing. Since my run in with Elizabeth, I'd come right here, sat on my bed, and zoned out, thinking about the numerous things I did wrong, today.

I'd passed by Rodney and Ronon, and waited for them to notice me, but they hadn't. It hurt, a lot. Then I remembered I was invisible to them. The same happened everywhere I went. I'd stand beside or in front of my friends, waiting to be acknowledged, only to be ignored. Even pranks and other added bonuses to being invisible, were nothing compared to how lonely I was beginning to feel. No one looked at me, even when I spoke. They looked in my general direction, but in the end, only succeeded in looking _through_ me.

Everyone was right. I had no idea what possessed me to say what I did about the sorceress, Creya. She was stunning, why would I ever think to compare her to the fairy tail sorceress' and witches I used to hear about, as a child? She was also really nice, until I said what I did.

It was kind of strange, really. When Rodney got hit by the beam that gave him super powers, he realized in the end his mistakes, and worked to make everything right with us all. _I feel so weak._ It was like I hadn't slept in a month. I was so tired, but I was also so afraid to go to sleep. _What if I don't wake up?_ My legs felt like rubber, I was freezing, and it was getting a little harder to focus and breathe. _I need to make things right._ I think, maybe it hit me what Rodney was thinking, and it made a lot of sense.

Slowly climbing out of bed, I had to close my eyes and wait for a dizzy spell to pass. When it did, I opened my eyes and walked out of my room. I was heading to the control room, but was surprised to find the others sitting, fully dressed in their off world gear, at the base of the gate. "Guys?" Wow, was that my voice? I sounded so quiet and weak.

"John?" Teyla's head shot up and her body quickly followed as she looked blindly around the room.

"Uh, yeah." Another dizzy spell hit me and I staggered, managing last minute to keep my balance. "Um, what are you all doing here?"

"We kinda figured you might wanna go off world." Rodney stated quietly, looking far too worried for my comfort. "And, uh, you know. Thought you might like some company."

"I'm going back." I said, walking forward. "To talk to her myself."

He nodded and turned to the gate technician. "Dial the gate, and tell Elizabeth we're going back."

With his own nod, the technician did as he was ordered, and in no time, the gate kawooshed as the wormhole stabilized. Without even waiting for orders, or Elizabeth's response, I stepped through the gate as soon as the shield was lowered and began to make my way through the forest.

Hearing the others behind me, I smiled a little to myself, fully grateful for them being here.

We made it through the woods, though it took longer than I'd have liked. For once, it wasn't Rodney's stumbling that slowed us down, but my own. Still no one complained at the time it was taking, or even made a comment about my clumsiness, they just stopped and waited for me, occasionally asking me if I was alright. It was disconcerting to see how somber they were, but I was so tired...

"I see you're back."

Looking up, I watched the hazy light appear and turn into the sorceress. Ignoring the others, she glared at me. Her eyes scanned my body, and I couldn't help the shiver, being fully aware of how literally naked I was, since my uniform and weapons hadn't come with me. Surprisingly, her eyes softened a little as she stared at me, but she remained quiet.

I knew this was my time to speak. My only chance to make things right.

"I'm sorry." The words came without hesitation and were embarrassingly sincere. "I really am. I never meant to insult you, honest. I..." Shaking my head, I stopped as a cold dizzy spell hit me, and my legs shook, threatening to give out under me.

I must have been too quiet too long. "John? Are you alright??" Teyla's eyes scanned the area I was standing in, obviously still unable to see me.

_I don't know why I said what I did. I never meant to hurt your feelings._ I thought, struggling to form the words on my lips. "I'm...sorry..." Was all I managed to gasp out, as my chest tightened and it became almost impossible to breathe.

Her eyes softened even more, and suddenly, I felt the pressure on my body release. My chest relaxed, and I took several deep breaths. My eyes focused, and I realized I felt warm, and more solid than I had in a while.

"John!"

"Sheppard!"

Hearing the others, I gasped again and turned to find them racing to my side, touching my shoulder and the top of my head. Teyla grabbed my face and stared into my eyes. Not through or past me, but _into_ my eyes. I felt hands on my chest and realized with embarrassment that I still wasn't wearing anything. I felt my face get warm.

It seems the others noticed my shape, and Ronon practically _leapt_ away, Rodney took several steps back and whistled innocently as he looked off into the distant tree line, and Teyla focused on some spot over my shoulder.

"You're back! Are you ok?!"

"He'll be fine." Kneeling next to me, the sorceress raised an eyebrow, seemingly ingoring my naked state, much to my further embarrassment. She stared into my eyes a moment before a guilty look crossed over her face. "I'm sorry, too. I should have told your friends how to break the spell. All you needed to do was come back and give a sincere apology."

Smirking a little, I felt the heat in my face, and insisted I was going to play it cool. "Uh, well, they would have had to find me, first." I placed my hands over the main thing I wanted to keep from prying eyes, and prayed Teyla or Rodney thought to bring extra clothing with them. Glancing at Teyla briefly, I noted her curious expression before a look of realization came over her face, she grinned and pointed to McKay.

The sorceress raised her other eyebrow at me and her eyes narrowed a moment. I got the sense she was reading my mind, even more disconcerting, and then she giggled. Yeah, she _actually_ giggled. "I see...."

_I really hope not_. Forcing a grin, I nodded and turned to Rodney, gesturing with one hand for him to hand me his bag. He gave me a look before taking it off, carefully keeping his eyes bored somewhere into the middle of my forehead, and tossed it to the ground next to me.

"Let me guess, he was playing around."

"Kinda." Was my response as I grabbed the bag and made a b-line to the trees, ignoring the laughter behind me.

It was good to be back.

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Ok, not one of my best, but hopefully not too bad.

Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	34. Long Ears of Doom

**Puddle-Jumper38** - If the idea lasted long enough I would. Trust me, there are two or three I'd love to make into separate stories. And who knows, if the muse hits, I might re-post/expand one of the chapters into a full length story.

**x Varda x **- Oh yeah, wasn't she a rat, and she turned back as a naked human? I think in the later episode, she was wearing clothes when they turned her back from being invisible. LOL But will John ever learn? I don't think he'd be quite the same if he did. And trust me, I'm good for random stuff. LOL. Besides Atlantis/off world adventures/misadventures, I do like to take them home once in a while. And, of course, since it involves the SGC, most earthbound adventures will probably have mentions of SG-1 in them.

**Jasminesmommy** - I wonder if he'd really be bothered by a kid running around calling him 'mommy'. LOL!

**Debbie418uk2** - I fixed the 'bugaboos' in the last chapter. I wrote another chapter (actually, two-parter) where I wanted to end it with them naked, but after the last ones, I didn't want to wear that kind of ending out. LOL.

I don't know if I spelled tracheotomy right, or what, so if not please advise.

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**(Normal POV)**

"Everything seems pretty normal, doesn't it? Nice and calm?" John looked around as he led his team through a small forest and towards the gate. "The city was ancient and had been abandoned years ago. No signs of a culling or recent Wraith activity. No strange energy readings, and fairly friendly animals."

"Yeah, and we had to stay _three_ days to find all that?" Rodney groaned as he scratched at the back of his hand. "I think I was allergic to something I touched."

"You're allergic to _everything_." Ronon growled a little, tired of Rodney's constant complaining. "And I'm allergic to your complaining."

Teyla smiled a little. "At least this gave you ample time for your research, did it not?"

"Like there was much to find. All that was on that computer was a list of the animals." He looked at his computer pad. "Huh, looks like there's dangerous ones on this planet, too. What else is new?" Shrugging, he put the pad away. "I'll finish my research after a good hot meal and a nice long shower back at Atlantis." He stretched and trudged on ahead.

They weren't far from the gate when they spotted a family of rabbits standing by the edge of the forest. They looked like any normal rabbits anyone had ever seen, but the team raised their weapons, just to be safe. Well, all but Rodney. He was too busy smiling at them. "Well, how do you like that? Rabbits. There's something I never expected to see on another planet."

"Are they safe to be around?" John looked at them warily.

"Oh, come on, Colonel. They're _rabbits._ What're they gonna do? Tickle us to death with their long ears of doom? Oh, I'm so scared!" Rodney rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"Shut it, McKay." John glared at him. "You're the one who said there were dangerous animals on this planet, and haven't you ever heard of the saying 'Don't judge a book by it's cover'?"

Shaking his head, Rodney grabbed his computer pad and began typing. "I'm gonna look under the 'safe' list first, since I'm sure they're there."

Everyone stayed on guard around the rabbits, even though Ronon slowly lowered his blaster. He was sure they were harmless, judging by the look of them, and they didn't even want to run away. Not very fun prey, by his standards. Teyla eyed the rabbits warily, knowing of another world with seemingly harmless animals that, when given the chance, could cause a lot of damage. She lowered her P90, not sure what to think, but held on to it, just to be was about the only one who kept fully on guard around them. There was something fishy about all this. Most animals run when seeing humans. Even the big bad ones. These ones, however, stood there perfectly calmly and eyed the group.

"Huh, I didn't see them." Frowning, Rodney went back to the top of the list. "I never realized one planet could have so many animals. I probably just missed them. Hang on while I go through the list again."

"Rodney… They might just not be on it. Check the 'dangerous' list."

"Relax, Colonel. They're harmless." Rodney rolled his eyes and put his computer away again before strolling forward.

"Rodney!"

"Hey, I'm just gonna prove they're ok." Walking towards the small critters, Rodney slowed down as he got near them and crouched. He was maybe three feet away from them when he bent down to pet one.

Just as the biggest one of the five snarled and bared it's massive fangs.

Rodney couldn't move. He stared at the snarling _rabbit_ with the biggest fangs he'd ever seen. It was glaring at him, and he knew his jaw was hanging, but hey… It was a _rabbit_ that was snarling at him with _fangs_! "What the bloody hell?!?" He jumped away just as the rabbit jumped forward, and clutched his hand to him as those massive fangs snapped shut just inches from his fingertips. "What the _hell_?!?" He repeated, stepping back until he saw John out of the corner of his eyes.

The rabbits all began to snarl and they began to walk forward menacingly.

John raised his P90 higher, even as Teyla and Ronon raised their weapons again. "I told you to check the 'dangerous' list!" The Colonel hissed as he fired a warning shot into the ground in front of the rabbits.

That only served to startle them, and they spread up to cover more ground. The two smaller ones stayed closer together and walked towards Ronon with snarls, even as the big male stopped and raised it's head to the sky. It's long ears were straight up as it seemed to stare into the sky a moment before opening it's mouth and letting out a long, haunting howl.

"It _howls_?!" Rodney's eyes couldn't have gotten any wider at this point as he quickly counted his fingers again. "What the hell?! They have _fangs_ and _howl_?!"

"We picked up on that much, McKay!" John cried as the male jumped at him. Firing his P90, he took it out with three blasts, watching with a wince as the furry body was sent flying backwards and into a tree, where it slid down to lie motionless on the ground. He looked around and his eyes widened as he saw more figures moving through the woods. "Crap! More are coming to join these ones!" He backed up and looked to the others. Rodney was still too shocked about all this to do much of anything but stare helplessly. So it was up to him, Ronon and Teyla, unfortunately, too many rabbits were coming to join the ones they were fighting. "Regroup in the village!" Turning, John grabbed Rodney's arm and began running through the woods. He could hear the occasional howl or snapping of a branch to let him know the rabbits were following them, and picked up his pace.

Soon enough, they entered the city square and paused a moment when they noticed more rabbits wandering around the city. "Long ears of doom, huh?" John grimaced. One little white fur ball hopped past the group, seemingly not even noticing them, and John broke cover first, looking for the sturdiest house and practically dragging Rodney inside it. He waited for Teyla and Ronon to join them, shooting any rabbit that followed them, and slammed the door before looking around. "Here! Ronon! Help me with this! McKay, find out what the _hell's_ going on!" He rushed over to a dresser and with Ronon's help, managed to get it over to the door.

Rodney immediately snapped to attention, grabbing his computer and sitting down at one of the bench-like tables to begin typing. He turned to the 'dangerous' list, and low and behold, one of the first animals listed, and coincidentally the most dangerous, was the rabbit. "Here! I got it!"

"That was fast."

"It was right at the top of the list." Rodney had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Ok, that's fine and all, but why didn't we have any trouble when we first came to the world?" John frowned. "As I seem to recall, we spotted a number of rabbits then, too."

"Well, it's listed here that they are normally calm, quiet animals, and perfectly friendly. They also are usually herbivores."

"That's why it snapped at your fingers?" John rolled his eyes.

Glaring at him, Rodney looked at his said fingers and winced before turning back to the computer. "Uh….. There! They are _usually_ normal creatures, however, when the three moons of the planet align during a particular season, they mutate into carnivorous creatures that hunt raw meat. It seems no one ever saw them as a threat, so they never hunted them, allowing the population to grow to massive proportions-oh..." Rodney's eyes grew huge and he looked to the others. "The city was never abandoned."

"I do not understand." Teyla frowned as she looked around. "The records stated the Ancients ever found anyone in the village, or any remains."

"It says here, there were so many rabbits, that even the humans were hunted. They couldn't find a single safe space, and the majority of them decided to run for their lives, only there were too many rabbits. Most were captured and basically eaten." McKay looked about ready to be sick. "It reads that the seasons would have changed over last night, and they last about a week." His face was white.

"So we just make a break for the gate and blast all the fur balls we come across." Ronon shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Except like I said, there are tons of them. Hundreds of thousands. They can swarm us before you can take a hundred of them down." Shaking his head, Rodney got up and moved away from the desk. He looked around worriedly before fixing his eyes to each of his team mates'. "And the worst part is not even their homes were safe."

Everyone looked around and raised their weapons.

"What?" John's eyes went wide.

"They never imagined a threat like this, so they never thought to make their homes, well…rabbit-proof." Rodney fumbled as he grabbed his own gun, and looked around.

"Ok, we need to search this place and block off any openings we find. When we don't sign in, Atlantis will call us and contact us by radio, we can request backup."

"That's not due for at least another two hours!"

"Then we need to secure this place until then, now, don't we?" Giving him a look, John began looking carefully around the house. "Was there any place listed in particular, that the rabbits seemed to come from?"

"Windows, holes in the walls and floors, sometimes doors that weren't too sturdy. They chewed right through them."

Glancing at the door, John raised an eyebrow. "I think they're gonna have a lot of chewing to do to get through that." He eyed the dresser in front of the door. He eyed the floor where it joined to the walls and found a large hole half hidden behind another dresser. "Ronon, here." Walking over, he moved the dresser to get better access, bent down and looked out the hole. There was a sheet of metal just outside, and John was struck with an idea. _ They probably can't ches through metal. _"Listen…" He pulled back and looked at the others. "I'm gonna reach out this hole and grab a sheet of metal that should cover it. It looks sturdy and heavy enough to do the trick."

"And you're insane, you know that?" Rodney stared at him incredulously. "You're gonna reach out a hole, into rabid-rabbit-infested land??"

Pausing for a moment, John glanced out the hole and came face-to-face with a cute, cuddly man-eating rabbit. "Oh, crap." As it snarled and lunged forward, he lunged backward. A soft weight landed on his chest as he fell back on his back, and he felt teeth digging themselves into his neck, the pain blinding him. _CRAP!_ He screamed in agony, his throat burning as the teeth clenched. He could feel the tearing sensation and saw stars as he grabbed at the small furry body, trying to pull it away.

It didn't work, however, as more pain shot through him and he cried out again.

Suddenly, there was a blast, and a shocking flash of red. The grip on his throat lessened and let go. Coughing heavily, he pushed the body off him and rolled over, coughing up blood and struggling to breathe. He felt hands on him, but resisted them as he struggled to get air into his lungs. "Blo-" He broke off into another coughing fit, spitting more blood out of his throat and groaning in agony.

"Colonel, you must relax."

He shook his head, trying to ignore how everything spun. "The hole…" He winced at the pain that shot through him, as well as how garbled his throat sounded.

Looking away, Teyla noticed another rabbit hopping in through the said hole. "Ronon!" Raising her P90, she shot at it, causing it to pause in place, and frowned. "We need to block that hole!"

Moving silently, Ronon blasted the new rabbit and kicked it out through the hole before moving the second dresser fully in front of it.

John let his head fall to the ground; the only thing on his mind was the pain he was in. He could breathe ok, thankfully, but it felt like the pain was throbbing out through his entire body, and tears clung to his eyes as he gasped.

He heard his radio activate and Major Lorne's voice come through. "Colonel Sheppard, this is Atlantis. Do you read?" Wow, he was early. Either that, or more time had passed then anyone thought.

Teyla tapped her radio before John could even instinctively reach for his own. "We are here. Major, we are trapped and Colonel Sheppard is in need of medical attention, immediately."

"I understand." There was a moment of silence. "You want us to send a team through with Carson?"

Rodney tapped his own radio. "Uh, Major? We've got a serious case of pissed off bunnies, here. And I mean a lot of them. We need you to send a jumper through; we don't have time to deal with a lot of them, right now."

There was a pause, and everyone could just see the uncertain look on Lorne's face as he probably didn't know whether to laugh or be worried. Luckily for them, he chose to remain serious, at least for the moment. "Do I at least get the gist of what happened??"

"Basically, we overstayed our welcome and we now have to deal with thousands of carnivorous bunnies. One got through a small hole in a wall and took a massive bite out of the Colonel's throat."

"So what should we keep an eye out for?" At least that response was immediate, and the team could hear noises in the background.

"Besides pissed off bunnies? That's about it." Rodney rolled his eyes as he grabbed his computer and attached it to his backpack.

"Ok. I'll get two teams together. Just hang in there, Lorne out."

Grimacing, John held a hand over the cloth Teyla was holding over his wound, and gasped again. He opened his mouth, but closed it again, not really knowing what to say, with his mind clouded over with pain. His eyes rolled back in his head and he wheezed as he struggled to relax.

"John, you must stay calm. Major Lorne will soon be on his way to get us. You just need to hang on." Teyla pressed more firmly on the wound while trying not to put too much weight on his throat. She frowned thoughtfully as she eyed the wound.

John was beginning to find it harder to breathe. He didn't notice it at first, but after a while he noticed the feeling of swelling in his throat and that it was beginning to get harder to get the air into his lungs. Closing his eyes, he took a slow, deep breath, wincing as it put pressure on his throat, and held it a moment before slowly letting it out again. The pain was still there and agonizing, but more noticeably it had faded to a steady burn.

Rodney eyed John lying on the ground, staring almost blankly at the ceiling as he struggled to breathe. The wound was nasty, but it didn't seem to be bleeding _too_ badly, and John had even stopped coughing up blood. That was a good sign, wasn't it? Seeing the pained gasp, and John's slightly scared look, he winced, beginning to feel guilty that he hadn't listened before and looked at the list.

_If I'd checked, maybe we could've gotten past those rabbits and back to Atlantis._ He frowned and shifted uncomfortably, looking out the barred window to see the occasional white rabbit hop by. _Damn it! Hurry up, Major!_ They looked so innocent, but he knew better now.

The group lost track of time. All they could think of was taking care of John as he got steadily weaker. The bleeding wasn't severe, but it refused to stop, and his breathing got steadily shakier and more forced as his throat continued to swell up from the injury. Teyla accepted a fresh dressing from Rodney and changed the one on John's neck, her look grim.

Just then, the sound of a jumper was heard, and Ronon rushed to the window next to the door. Looking out, he spun and went to the dresser in front of the door. "Help me with this!"

"Dr. McKay!" Teyla stood up, lessening her hold on John's neck as Rodney rushed over and hesitantly took over for her, wincing as he saw the blood oozing from the wound.

He really wasn't good with blood, and those words kept echoing through his mind, making him nauseous. Feeling a hand on his, he saw John's unfocused eyes on him, wide with pain and a hint of fear as he gasped roughly for air. _I should've listened!_ "I'm sorry." It was almost a whisper.

Teyla and Ronon worked together to move the heavy dresser, and they opened the door, blasting the rabbits as they got nearer. They saw Carson running out of the back of the parked jumper with Lorne and two marines flanking him, taking out any rabbits that got near. He had a wild look in his eyes and muttered about rabid rabbits as he ran into the hut, shaking his head only to stop and stare in horror at John's body on the ground.

"This is so weird!" Evan called as they rushed inside and Ronon slammed the door.

"Colonel! Oh dear lord, this is not good!" Dropping his bag on the floor, Carson knelt next to John, who was barely conscious and breathing at this point. He quickly pulled on a pair of gloves before carefully peeling back the dressing and wincing. Feeling at the throat, he frowned deeply before turning and pointing to Teyla. "I need you to get me morphine, a tube and a scalpel. The swelling's blocking his airway, I'm gonna have to do a tracheotomy."

"How bad is it, doc?" Lorne ducked out the door long enough to fire three blasts before ducking back in and slamming the door shut again.

Frowning, Carson injected the morphine into John's system and waited a few seconds for it to take effect before quickly glancing at the Major. "It's not severe, but he's lost a lot of blood. I need to operate, now!" Grabbing the knife and tube, he had Teyla hold John's head steady and began using the scalpel to cut a small hole into John's lower throat, a little under the swollen area.

Rodney cringed and looked away, unable to watch the surgery.

**(Infirmary, Several Days Later)**

John lay in the infirmary, wincing as he drank from a cup of cold water. Putting the cup back on his tray, he eyed the jello dubiously and sighed before pushing it away.

"Not hungry?" Rodney walked into the room, smiling away.

Looking up at him, John shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something, but winced, rubbed gingerly at the bandage around his throat and shrugged with a sheepish look.

"Hum, I think I kinda like you better this way." Rodney grinned a little at the sour look he got. "Relax, I was just kidding. You're feeling better?" Now he seemed more earnest and even a little wary.

"H…" Coughing a little, John winced and shrugged again. "Hurts to…talk, but yeah."

"Then maybe you shouldn't talk." Rodney raised his hands in surrender, seeing John opening his mouth. "Never mind, forget I said anything. It's _you_."

Frowning at Rodney a moment, John raised an eyebrow before picking up his bowl of jello and holding it out. Normally he'd be all up for the banter, but right now his throat really did hurt a lot when he spoke.

Eyeing the jello for a moment, Rodney accepted it, hey it was blue, and took the spoon also offered. Staring at it for a moment, he sighed. "Look, I wanted to say I was sorry." He dug the spoon into the jello, feeling decidedly uncomfortable with the idea of apologizing. "If… If I'd read the list like you wanted… Maybe we could have gotten back without getting attacked." He winced and stared at the jello, not really seeing it.

Seeing the pain in his friend's face, John frowned deeply. "No." Wincing as his throat burned, he pushed it aside and shook his head. "They probably would've…attacked anyways. We… We might've got…caught out…in the woods if it wasn't…for you."

"Yeah, well, Bugs still took a nasty bite out of you."

Chuckling a little, John's face almost went white with pain and he hissed. "Oh, god! Don't... Don't make me laugh." His voice was raspy and he wheezed. Shaking a little, he sighed and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Didn't I say...'Don't judge...a book by its...cover'?" He winced again and put a hand over his bandaged throat.

Nodding, Rodney sighed. "You know what? I hope the only rabbits I ever seen are in stews."

"I wouldn't...say that Rodney. You never know, they...might decide to hunt those rabbits that...attacked us, to make the stews with."

Wincing, Rodney put down the still full jello cup. "And there goes my appetite, right out the window."

John chuckled again, and despite the pain, he grinned at Rodney, just glad to be able to laugh like this. Lying back, he closed his eyes and breathed deep. It hurt his throat, but it still felt good to be able to breathe.

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Hope you like it.

Written October 27, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	35. Parasites

**E. Nagrom** - Actually, I've never watched Monty Python. O.o This was actually a totally random idea. Are you serious? They have killer rabbits in that? LOL, No I think John learned his lesson about pulling a Rodney and voicing his opinion in front of someone.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Ah, but again, I've never watched Monty Python, so I wouldn't know. I don't know if you got my PM, but...

(For those who don't know) A tracheotomy is a surgical procedure to help keep a patient breathing when they can't get air through their throat. Usually it involves making a hole in the lower throat or upper chest area, and then sticking a tube (or a pen or something could do, if you take the insides out, I think), and stuffing the tube in. Though, it's complicated, so I wouldn't suggest doing it at home. There's a lot more to it than that, but I don't know all the details.

Hope I explained that right...

**Jasminesmommy** - Getting taken out by the cute little bunnies would ruin a lot more than just my day, LOL.

**Debbie418uk2** - LOL, Yeah, I could see Lorne wondering what they'd been smoking, when he heard about the man-eating rabbits. I don't know what I was going for, but I think I was going for humor. LOL. Hm, I don't know, I never thought about a rabies shot, but lets say for arguement, he did have to have one. ;) LOL The ending scenes I find are some of the more difficult ones, yeah. Glad you enjoyed it :)

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - Well, if it helps, I'm working on seeing if I can expand a two-parter into a full story (though it won't be a long one), and it's John/Elizabeth. I don't know how it'll go and I might just keep it a two-parter, but I am trying. The only reason I give him the random alien, is (usually) to show how much trouble his kirk affairs cause. I didn't have it in me to kill a baby in my story, and couldn't see John giving birth, so that one had a weird but happy ending, but if you'll notice, all the other flirting, etc on John's part with an alien chick, usually lands him in hot water.

I'm more of a Sparky fan, myself. I loved their interactions, and was thoroughly pissed when they killed off Elizabeth (And Carson, too). I much preferred her as head of Atlantis than Sam or Richard Woolsey.

Alright, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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**(Off World, Normal POV)**

Team Sheppard were working their way painfully slowly through a swampy field of waist-high grass and ankle deep water. Teyla didn't seem the least bit bothered, nor did Ronon. Rodney, however, wouldn't shut up, and John bantered back and forth with him, while grimacing as he made his way through the disgusting stuff.

"God this stuff is nasty!" John finally called, lifting his leg out of the swampy muck and scratching at his ankle. "And I think I was bitten by an alien version of a mosquito."

"Alien mosquito, yeah, right." Rodney rolled his eyes. Then, seeing the look John gave him, as well as his scratching, his eyes widened. "Are you serious??" He quickly lifted his legs, jumping on to the nearest log and lifting his pants legs to see if there were any signs of biting. "Oh god, what if I was bitten, too?!"

"I dunno, Rodney. Are you itchy?"

"Oh my god, I am!" he began scratching at his ankles, before moving his way up his legs and starting on his arms. "I'm itching everywhere! I've been bitten!"

Rolling his eyes, John slapped the back of Rodney's head and glared. "Relax. You're imagining things." Lifting his leg, he pulled his pants up to show a single red bump, not unlike the result of a mosquito bite. "Just my luck I'd find the alien planet inhabited by alien mosquitoes. As if the ones on earth aren't bad enough."

"I have not encountered any of these earth mosquitoes." Teyla put in from ahead. Standing up on something, she turned around. "And I believe I have found the edge of the swamp."

"Good, and good." John stated, walking quickly to the edge where Teyla was standing. "If you ever encountered mosquitoes, you'd know it, believe me." He stopped to scratch a little higher on his leg, frowning as he did so. "Geez, I think these suckers are making a meal out of my legs!"

Jumping up on the ledge, John sighed in relief before moving to sit on a log and lifting his pants leg. Where there had only been one mark, there was now three, and the one he'd been scratching had grown significantly in size, and a red, irritated area formed around it.

"Nice." He muttered with a grimace, scratching at the wounds. "Anyone got some calamine lotion?" He looked up and saw Teyla and Ronon's confused looks. "Uh, it's a lotion for itches and uh…rashes and stuff. Never mind."

Standing back up, he shook down his pant leg before bending and tucking it into his loosely tied boots.

"Ok, so where were we?"

"We're close." Turning, Ronon pointed to the trees. "The gate's just on the other side of those."

Nodding, John took up position behind Ronon, letting the Satedan lead the way. They didn't encounter any more swamps, and made it back to Atlantis relatively unharmed. The planet was unfortunately uninhabited, and there had been no sign of any ruins. In fact, the only significant thing John had to report to Elizabeth, was the alien mosquitoes, which had made a meal out of his leg.

Speaking of which, as he went to get checked up on, John found himself sitting his leg on the bed beside him, and scratching furiously at his leg all the way up to his calf.

"Colonel? Is there something wrong, lad?" Carson had finally noticed him.

Looking up, John shrugged. "Got some alien bug bites. Think you can give me something for the itch?" Frowning to himself, John's eyes narrowed as his stomach lurched. "And maybe something for an upset stomach? I think lunch finally decided to argue with me."

Frowning a moment, Carson walked over and lifted John's head, checking his pupils. "Hm, your eyes are a little dilated. Did you run into anything else on the planet, besides man-eating bugs?"

Wincing a little and placing a hand across his stomach, John looked down before looking back up. "Uh…" He swallowed with a little difficulty. "Just some nasty swamp and waist high grassy stuff."

With another nod, Carson pulled a privacy curtain around the bed and raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to change into a gown while I run some tests, lad."

"Just because of an itchy leg and upset stomach?"

Carson gave him a look and pulled up his pant leg, staring pointedly at john's shocked look, as he was faced with multiple spots on his legs. What was once three, was now closer to a dozen.

"What the hell?! I knew I got eaten, but not _this_ bad!"

**(Control Room)**

Elizabeth was sitting in the briefing room, listening to Teyla's report on the planet. Sure, she'd already gotten the jist of it from John, but she liked to hear reports from the others, in case anything was forgotten, or one person noticed something the others didn't.

Besides, otherwise she'd have reports of her own to write, and this seemed the lesser of two evils.

"Has anyone else shown any sign of being bitten by these…mosquitoes?" Frowning a moment, Elizabeth held up her hand and tapped her ear piece. "I'm here, what's going on?" She seemed to listen intently and her eyes narrowed in new concern. "Are you sure? Is it serious?"

Teyla looked at Ronon and Rodney, who were in the room, and exchanged worried looks with them. Immediately, Rodney began checking his legs again, placing them on the table and pulling his pant legs up to see there were no marks.

"Alright, I understand. Do what you can and keep me notified." Tapping her ear piece again, Elizabeth turned back to the rest of the team. "That was Carson. John mentioned the bites to him, and upon examination, alien parasites were found circulating through his blood stream. The marks he'd had are spreading. Carson's going to try generic antibiotics for the time being and see how that effects them. Meanwhile, I need to know if any of you have been bitten."

Rodney had lowered his legs, and quickly raised them to check on them again, only pausing when Elizabeth held up her hand. "Rodney… Maybe it would be better if you had Carson check you out, to make sure you weren't bitten some place else."

He paled. "Right." Nodding, he stood up.

"Would we not be itching if he were bitten?" Teyla asked as she rolled up her sleeves and checked her arms, rolling them back down when there was no sign of the bite marks.

"Probably, but I'd like to have someone check you out, anyways. Carson mentioned John was having problems with an upset stomach, that turned into a full blown nausea. He's also got a fever now, as well."

Rodney nodded and turned, walking briskly out of the room, obviously on his way to the infirmary. Exchanging a look with Ronon, Teyla also nodded and the two of them left to follow him.

**(Infirmary)**

John was lying on the bed, red spots showing at the collar line of his infirmary gown, and a thoroughly agitated look on his face. "Look, doc. You said I'm not contagious. Can't I go back to my room and watch movies, or something?" His face was pale and sweaty and he looked close to glaring at the Doctor.

"Lad, you couldn't stand right now, if you wanted to." Sighing heavily, Carson walked over. "None of the others are showing any sign of the bites. It turns out it's the ATA gene that attracts the bug."

"Then why didn't they go after Rodney? He took the gene therapy." Pausing for a moment, John pursed his lips in thought. "Ok, so that was a stupid question. It's _Rodney_. Probably would have given them indigestion, or something."

Carson couldn't help the grin, though it faded quickly. "I believe it's because the ATA gene wasn't natural in Rodney's body, so it has a different….taste, to them. I've found a serum that should stop and kill the parasites, but it'll take some time to make. I want you on strict bed rest until then."

Scratching his arms, John frowned. "Still nothing for the itch, huh?" His arms were angry and red, and he grimaced as one of the injuries began to bleed a little. "Ow." Almost glaring at his arms, John scratched at the other one.

...Until Carson reached out, grabbing one arm and strapping it down with the medical restraints.

"What the hell, doc?!" John began to struggle, but with one free arm, it was a little hard. Especially when he paused to scratch at his hip.

Grabbing the other arm, he leaned over and strapped the other arm in. "No more scratching, that seems to help them spread."

"You can't be serious! I'm gonna go insane like this!"

"I'm sorry, Colonel, but it's necessary." Turning, Carson walked off, scratching absently at his own arm.

**(With the Rest of the Team)**

"You got called to the infirmary, as well?" Teyla turned to find Ronon and Rodney approaching.

Rodney was looking at his computer tablet but looked up and nodded. "Yes, yes. Carson said something about news on that alien parasite that infected John."

Well, if Rodney wasn't worried, it _couldn't_ have been serious.

"He said something about them being attracted to the ATA gene, and spreading through touch. Skin on skin contact. Huh, well, I'd much rather be in my lab finishing my work than wandering around aimlessly."

"We're not wandering around aimlessly." Ronon put in as they entered the infirmary. "We're in the infirmary."

"Oh yes, thank you for that. I hadn't noticed." Rodney was of course, being sarcastic. Seeing Carson with his back to them, he walked over. "Carson? We're here. What's so important that-oh my god!"

Carson had turned around, his arms appearing out of his short sleeved shirt and covered with red spots. They were also peeking out of the collar of his top.

"The doc thought I wasn't contagious. Apparently, he was right. …As long as the people around me didn't have the ATA gene naturally." John spoke up from where he was sitting on the bed. He still had the spots, but his face had returned to it's natural color, and the red swollen areas were fading. "Just stay well away from me, now, ok?" He saw the others and shrugged. "He took the cure, he'll be fine in an hour or two."

Rodney still kept his distance, looking torn between laughing and being worried.

"As will the Colonel. He took the cure, too, unfortunately, _after_ I was initially infected." Carson was frowning deeply. "And I thank you for speaking up for me, but I'm fully capable of speaking for myself."

John shrugged and grinned, pointing to Carson as he raised his arm to scratch at a spot. "Ah, ah, ah! No scratching, doc!"

"You're enjoying this entirely too much." Carson grumbled as he turned and stalked off.

"That's it?" Rodney shook his head and groaned. "Oh, good. At least 20 minutes of my time wasted." Turning, he shook his head again and walked off, typing rapidly on his computer.

"Thanks Rodney, it's so nice to know you care." John muttered from his bed, sliding down and lying back down. Looking to the others, he shrugged and rolled his eyes before offering a small grin. Then, he looked at his arm and raised to scratch at it, before pausing and stopping, grimacing and forcing his hand to his side. "I can't _wait_ for this to be over."

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This is another of my older chapters. I was planning to post a twp-parter, but this is a last minute update. It was basically straight forward, but like I said, it's an older one. It was done before I thought about details and suspense and stuff.

Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	36. The Klump

**E. Nagrom** - LOL Can't you just see John writhing in the bed and begging for a scratch from people as they walked past?? Yes, I was going for a mosquito bite/chicken pox effect.

**Debbie418uk2** - True, but I think I was trying for abrupt with him. Because when the series first started, it took him a long time to warm up to the others, and I found him abrupt and rude to them for a while. I might have gone overboard, admittedly. That's why I say that was an old chapter.

This one is probably just going to be..........odd.

I'm not sure, but I think I edited the last chapter to explain that they passed through touch, like germs... Blah, I don't know, but I think I did edit it a little. (ponders) ALIEN FLEAS! (rolls on the floor laughing) They just jump onto their neighbours! LOL!

**x Varda x** - LOL, well I've never watched Monty Python, but yeah... Were rabbits was what I was going for. LMAO.

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - Well, Woolsey's not bad, but I preferred Weir and Sam. Sam because she's SG-1, and I don't relate Woolsey to SG much, considering how he wasn't a main character until he took over Atlantis. I'm working on that story, and have so far 4 chapters done. I have the beginning and end, so I'm just trying to modify the middle to be longer, so it's probably not going to go over 10 chapters.

The down side is, It's got a lot of Twilight in it, with John and Elizabeth's interactions (she's unusually strongly attracted to him, and doesn't understand why... can't go into too much detail), and for the most part, John....isn't John. But I'm working on also altering the ending to....something better than it was... LMAO Sorry, if I say anymore, I give too much away.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Glad you got the explanation. :) Yeah, me too. They're always in the woods, so I found myself wondering if they ever came back with mosquitos. LOL. Hm, I'll have to see if I can find it in stores (Monty Python).

**Jasminesmommy** - Oh it's not _that_ bad! I mean, they're just alien mosquitos. Carson will be fine...though anyone who comes into contact with him will have to take the treatment if they have the gene, naturally.

I'm sorry about the late update. Unfortunately, I got into Twilight, the book _and_ the movie, so my muse has shot over to the ever gorgeous vampire, Edward Cullen. I _am_ still working on ideas though. Requests/recommendations are always welcome.

It wasn't high, but I _was_ out of it when I wrote this, so..........

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"It's the Klump!"

Stopping in his tracks, John's eyes first widened, then narrowed dangerously. He reached for the gun attached to his hip and slowly turned around, pretty sure his look was as black as anyone had ever seen it. Yet, the marines behind him giggled hysterically, trying valiantly to hide it, and Rodney was just plain laughing.

"Oh, god! I'm s-sorry! I had to do it!" He clutched at his sides and laughed harder, wiping away the tears that came to his eyes.

John fingered his gun, wondering for a moment if he could get away with shooting one of his team mates. Maybe he could blame it on lingering effects of the Wraith mind-altering device? No...that was too long ago.

"Oh, relax!" Rodney stood up and wiped more tears from his eyes, waving his hands in a sign of dismissal. "I'm sure you've heard worse." He raised a hand with a finger pointing upwards. "Like chipmunk comments, for example?"

Still glaring at Rodney, John raised an eyebrow and relaxed his hand away from his gun, folding them his arms over his chest instead. "Yes, Rodney, I've heard them all. I've also dished out inventory, shower scrubbing, prisoner watch, and more as punishments." It hurt to talk, but right now it wasn't about to stop him.

"Prisoner watch? Don't we have some of those really nasty smelling swamp things in the brig?" Rodney actually seemed cautious.

John nodded. "Yep, and the longer they stay out of the swamp, the worse they smell." He put a hand to his chin carefully, pretending to think. "Come to think of it, Radek passed out an hour ago, they could probably use some help."

"Oh, I don't think so!" Rodney glared at John firmly. "Just because you've got the Klump thing going on, doesn't mean you can order me around!"

"I'm C.O. of the base, Rodney." John's face morphed into an amazingly childish pout and he glared at Rodney.

"And I don't care! Elizabeth won't back you on that."

"Wanna bet…?" Now John grinned evilly, wincing as it pulled on his cheeks, and Rodney looked worried.

"Uh… Well, not really…why?" He frowned. "Is she ok?"

"She's about as ok as one who just had her wisdom teeth out three days ago." John counted on his fingers. "She'll back me up."

"How… How long since you had your wisdom teeth out?" Rodney gave a big cheerful smile John could see right through. "It must be painful, why are you here working?" He shook his head. "You should talk to Carson, he'll probably let you out of duty."

"And yeah, the Wraith are just gonna come knocking, realize both me and Elizabeth had our wisdom teeth removed, apologize and leave, promising to come back on a day when we're both feeling better." Pausing a moment, John looked decidedly uncomfortable. "Huh, I can actually see that happening, too." He grinned and chuckled, hissing as it pulled on his cheeks. "Oh, god! Don't make me laugh!"

"I didn't say anything." Rodney's eyes had turned worried. "Uh, Colonel, what did they give you for painkillers?"

John paused a second before reaching into the pocket in his shirt. "Tylenol 3s, Rodney. No good stuff, I'm afraid."

Taking the bottle from him, Rodney scrutinized the label and sighed. "I think it might still be _too_ good for you." He shook his head and sighed. "Come on, let's go see Carson."

"I was on my way to see Elizabeth!" John protested loudly, a little louder than was necessary. He noticed marines and scientists in the hall way looking at him and his eyes narrowed. "What? I can't go see Elizabeth?"

"When did you last take one of these?"

Looking to the bottle, John paused and seemed to struggle to think about it. "Um, maybe an hour ago?" There was a sparkle in his eye.

Rodney shook his head and muttered something about being as high as a kite, before pulling on John's arm. "I'm sure she'll understand." He tapped his radio. "Elizabeth? Are you there? It's Rodney."

"Rodney!"

Stopping dead in his tracks, Rodney's eyes widened at the beyond overly enthusiastic greeting from the other end of the line.

"Have you seen Professor Klump today? He promised he'd come see me." There was a giggle on her end.

Feeling very awkward, Rodney turned slowly to see John grinning and tapping his radio. "I'm here, Honey, I wanna come see you, but Rodney won't let me! He keeps insisting I need to see Carson." The grin had disappeared and turned into a pout that John flashed at Rodney.

"Honey??" Rodney wasn't sure if he'd gotten transported to another dimension, or if there was something in the air, but he couldn't even muster up the strength to fight when John practically ripped his arm out of Rodney's grip and took off down the hall. It was a good two minutes before he snapped out of it and his jaw dropped. "What the _hell's_ going on?!" He tapped his radio as he took off after John, calling for Carson and maybe a security team, and informing them that both Elizabeth and John were acting very oddly.

**(In Elizabeth's room, John's POV)**

Laughing loudly, I couldn't help but fall over as I explained the totally random Wraith theory I'd had with Rodney. Elizabeth was dressed in her usual uniform, her face a little less swollen than mine, and she grinned evilly and shook her head. My face hurt like hell, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop laughing. If anything, it only made me laugh harder.

"Oh, that was _too_ easy!" She groaned, falling over and clutching her cheeks as he laughed helplessly. "It hurts!" she whimpered through her giggles.

My whole chest was hurting from the laughter, and I still couldn't stop. "He actually thought I was high as a kite!" Wincing, I groaned and buried my face in Elizabeth's soft quilt on her bed. "Ouch!"

Shaking her head, she sighed and leaned against me while trying to catch her breath. "It sure helped I was listening in and heard the Klump comment."

Pouting at her playfully, I took a deep breath and let it out as a loud sigh. "You just _had_ to go there too, right?" Rolling my eyes, I stared at her cheeks. "_Mrs. Klump_?"

Elizabeth took a breath and turned to glare at me before shaking her head and grinning. "How long do you think before he realizes it was just a joke?"

There was a loud beep at the door. "Dr. Weir? Colonel Sheppard? This is Major Lorne, I'm here with a security team and I need you to open the door, please."

Staring at the door, it took me a moment to realize he was serious and I exchanged a look with Elizabeth. "I'm guessing he's not gonna figure it out." Sighing, I sat up. "Not alone, anyways. Come in!" The door opened and a small security team armed with stunners came through the door, eyeing us warily where we laid on her bed. "What's up?" I asked conversationally.

Elizabeth shot me a look before sighing and turning to the guards. "Talk to Carson, he'll tell you we're not high." She raised an eyebrow. "It was a joke, that's all."

"Sorry ma'am, but it was Dr. Beckett who sent us." The team lowered their weapons as Lorne stepped forward, a concerned look on his face. "He analyzed one of Colonel Sheppard's pills-"

I patted down my pockets and groaned when I realized that I'd left my medication with Rodney.

"And found traces of a poison in it."

Staring blankly at the guys, I turned my head slowly to look at Elizabeth, ignoring how it pulled at my puffy cheeks. "I think I'm hearing things…" She turned to me with a worried look before getting up quickly, grabbing her pills, and walking over to the security team. "Wait, our _pills_? They're poisoned??" I got up and swayed a little as a dizzy spell hit me.

Lorne was at my side before I could blink and held on to my arm firmly as he nodded. "It looks like it, I'm gonna need you guys to come with me, please." When I nodded carefully, he began guiding me out of the room, a worried Elizabeth was at my side, holding my other arm.

**(Infirmary)**

"Talk about a joke that went right." I muttered as I stared at my I.V. Looking to Rodney, I opened my mouth and frowned before closing it again. "Huh, I don't know whether to apologize or thank you."

"How about both?" He stated smugly, chewing on some roast beef while sitting on a gurney beside me. "It's just a good thing Elizabeth's pills hadn't been tampered with, seeing as how she was on them a day longer than you."

"Don't let it go to your already oversized head, Rodney."

He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't having the oversized head more of your job, at the moment?" He pointed to the cheeks and grinned.

Narrowing my eyes, I chose to ignore that comment. "I still don't know why anyone would wanna poison me back on earth."

"I can answer that." Elizabeth stepped into the room with a frown on her face. "It looks like the person who made up your pills was the younger sister of a Lieutenant Marty Schmitt who was killed in one of our missions, Mary Schmitt. She doesn't know anything about Atlantis, but she recognized your name." She winced. "And apparently blamed you for what happened to her older brother. As a pharmacist, she didn't need any particular reason to be there…"

Carson walked in and nodded while checking some forms. "The poison she used was a very hard one to come by and was a part of the nightshade family. A small amount was injected into several of the tablets. Definitely more than enough to kill you. It won't hurt you in tiny doses, but it takes a while to get out of your system, and every dose builds up the quantity of poison in your system." He frowned and looked up. "It says here you mentioned having dizzy spells, nausea, extreme fatigue, headaches and some minor pains in your chest?"

"I thought it was just the surgery." I nodded, feeling a little worried as I checked my I.V. and the heart monitor which was pointing out how I was feeling. Very loudly. And annoyingly. "Can't you shut that thing off??" I groaned as Carson shook his head.

"You should be fine in a while. I'd just suggest taking Advil and getting plenty of bed rest from this point." He pointed to my barely touched tray of food in front of me. "And eat something, it'll help with the symptoms."

Narrowing my eyes, I looked pointedly down at the roast, which generally involved chewing. My cheeks ached just looking at it. "Well, considering my face is swollen and I can't chew, I might have a little trouble with the broccoli and roast."

Rodney looked up. "Oh, I'll take it if you don't want it."

Pushing the plate over, I sighed and tried to ignore Elizabeth's sympathetic look as she ordered a soft meal for me. "It's not that I don't _want_ it, Rodney." I muttered as I laid back in the bed and relaxed.

Grinning, Rodney raised an eyebrow. "Well, at least you won't get the gut to go with the face, Professor Klump."

Glaring at him, I began devising my punishment. I knew Elizabeth would still back me up, especially when she gave me a little nod with a stern look on her face. Maybe Rodney needed to spend some time with the swamp things in the brig, who snuck aboard by clinging to the bottom of one of our jumpers on our last mission. Or maybe I could make it mandatory that he had to have _his_ wisdom teeth out. ...If he hadn't already.

Carson and Elizabeth left me to my scheming, even as Rodney muttered to himself all kinds of chipmunk, and Klump comments under his breath, digging himself further and further into trouble.

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Ok, so this one went very differently from what I was expecting, I hope it turned out ok.

Hope you like it.

November 13, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	37. Sleepless

**Disclaimer** : If I owned it, the show would never end. Since it basically did.... I oviously don't own it, now do I? :(

**Debbie418uk2** - Ahh, but John can give as good as he gets, so I wouldn't worry. Remember, Elizabeth's on his side, and _she_ can make _Rodney's_ life a living hell. LOL Actually, the twist came after. I was working on just having them pull a joke on Rodney, but I wanted to make it longer and more detailed, so I began thinking of a twist. :)

**Jasminesmommy** - Well, in this case it worked out for John, since Rodney's paranoia saved his life.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Oh trust me, I _know_ how it feels to have wisdom teeth out. That's where I got my muse. :D I was scrambling for ideas to write about and low and behold.... LOL

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - The poison was just a last minute twist. I was basically just trying to go for a joke. Hm, as for the story.... I'm finished it. I think it sits at 9 chapters, but I'm not too sure I like the way it turned out, which is why I haven't posted it yet. I basically just took a spin on John getting possessed, and it effects Elizabeth as well.

Well, the way I'm linking it to Twilight is that John has an 'inhuman beauty' to Elizabeth, after he's possessed (though she doesn't know John's possessed), and she's all flustered and nervous around him. Plus I added the line about 'being the perfect predator'. :P

And I don't mind if you don't like it (Twilight). The only thing that bothers me is when people are nasty about the movie, saying Robert was ugly as...(glares)... and sucked big time. Or when they're flaming the movie and saying stuff like it promotes pedophilia. Otherwise, everyone's got their tastes and opinions, and I'm open to hearing them :) I like it because Edward is hot as sin and I like the Cullen Coven.

**E. Nagrom** - Oh I know! I was laughing at the image of the Wraith bowing and apologizing with their hands clasped in front of themselves, promising ever so politely to come back when John and Elizabeth are feeling better. LOL!!! No, Wisdom teeth out hurts a lot, but I didn't want it to be only pain, so I went for something a little more humerous.

Plus, as a person who's seen my own face the day after surgery, the 'Klump' comment is completely valid. I was shocked and couldn't stop laughing (despite how much it hurt) that I looked like Mrs. Klump.

Sorry for the late updates, I've been glued to Twilight's arse, so I haven't been able to pull myself away long enough to focus on SGA (Though I've not forgotten it). I've actually finished a chapter for my other SGA fic (I've still got ideas for that one), as well as a 9 chapter John/Elizabeth story I'm not sure how I feel about, and I'm getting some ideas for one-shots dealing with the Twilight books, so I'm dancing between writing and reading. :S

This is a tag to chapter 68 of 'RRBDs', 'Premonition'. I don't own a lot of the quotes.

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**(John's POV)**

**Premonition**

Running through the woods, nothing made sense. I had no idea where I was, or what I was doing. Hell, I couldn't even tell if I was alone! All I know was, looking down, I saw my P90 in my hands, so I guessed I was off world, and for some reason I was in a huge rush, panic coursing through me.

"Rodney!"

At first, I didn't recognize the panicked tone as my own, but by the third time I called his name, it sunk in. Suddenly, I was standing over Rodney's body. His eyes were open and staring blindly. There was a spike poking out of his bloody chest, and blood flowed freely down the side of his face. I knew as soon as I saw him, he was dead.

**End Premonition**

Jumping awake with a choked cry in my throat, I sagged back and lay limply on my bed, breathing raggedly and trying to keep my heart from pounding out of my chest. I was sweaty and shaky, and as I took several deep, unsteady breaths, I allowed myself to reflect over the dream, knowing it meant more than just a dream.

**(Three Days Later, Normal POV)**

Turning to his team mates, John's eyes narrowed dangerously and he sighed as he hit the center symbol and then sent his IDC through. "Look, it's over with already, ok? Can we just drop it?" He turned to the wormhole and waited for the go ahead before walking ahead, leaving his two confused team mates behind. He sighed as he stepped into the gate room, and began walking across the room.

A reconnaissance mission that went like it should, for a change. No sign of any dangers, and in truth, they _could_ have used Rodney, but John wasn't allowing it. He was haunted by his premonitions, and he refused to let them come true. Over the last three days, he'd been seeing Rodney dead with a spike through his chest. Every night he woke with a scream caught in his throat, and was unable to get back to sleep.

All of a sudden, he heard feet running towards him and someone grabbed his hand and holding him from leaving the room. Turning, he almost wasn't surprised to see Rodney holding onto him with a confused, hurt expression. "Rodney." It took a lot of control not to flinch at the expression, knowing what it was about. _I'm so sorry, buddy._

"Why didn't you tell me you were going off world??" Rodney's blue eyes were clouded with hurt, but he still struggled to look defiant.

With another sigh, John watched Teyla and Ronon continue on out of the room and down the hall. "We, err, didn't need you." _Oh, wow, that was harsh._ He watched as Rodney's face crumpled a little and struggled to save himself. "It was very routine, really. Look, I'll catch you later, gotta change." John spun on his heel and walked away, feeling like a huge jerk, but knowing he couldn't tell Rodney the real reason.

He walked down the same hall as the others and rounded the corner, having to skid to a stop to keep from colliding with Ronon and Teyla. Taking a good look at their stern, disapproving expressions, he knew he was in trouble.

Ronon stood with his hands folded over his chest. "We could've used his help. We would've gotten through the door."

"Why did you lie to him, John?" Teyla asked lowly, almost glaring.

Barely biting back a growl, John scrubbed his hand through his hair, trying to ignore how tired he was. "To protect him." It was all he could say without giving too much away. Walking by them, John made a straight line to the locker room, too many thoughts swirling around in his head. He stripped quickly and sighed as he changed into his usual Atlantis uniform, making his way to the conference room for the briefing.

Seeing Rodney in the control room, staring at his computer with a frown, John felt a stab of guilt run through him, but fought back the urge to run over and explain himself, as he walked over and entered the conference room, blatantly ignoring the stares he got from Ronon and Teyla. Sitting down, he faced Elizabeth's confused gaze as squarely as he could. "Elizabeth."

"John." She looked around, her confused gaze growing stronger as she noticed Rodney's lack of appearance. "Where's Dr. McKay?"

"He wasn't there." John stated evenly, biting back a wince. "It was just Ronon, Teyla and myself."

She frowned and her eyes narrowed as she leaned forward, her clasped hands on the table in front of her. "Really? And am I to guess you ordered this?" Her tone was not pleased, and John sighed as he leaned forward, trying to figure out how he was going to explain this.

After a lecture from Elizabeth, and the short briefing, John made a b-line straight back to his room, locking the door behind him and giving in to the urge to hit something. Of course, the wall wasn't so forgiving, and he shook out his hand with a hiss. The dreams continued to haunt him, and until he knew it was safe, Rodney _had_ to stay on Atlantis!

**(The Next Day, John's POV)**

"So, I take it we're leaving him behind, again." Ronon grunted with an annoyed look. "And you're going to insist we don't need him, even though we probably will."

Shooting Ronon a dark look, I sighed and scrubbed my hand over my face. After a particularly nasty dream last night, I'd spent two hours in the gym, trying to work off my anxiety. I was less than perfect condition at the moment. "Yes, we are, and yes, I am."

"I do not understand. He is our friend as well as team mate." Teyla looked guarded and confused.

I nodded. "Yes, he is." That came out a little sharper than I'd intended, but my nerves were still pretty high, and I didn't have the best handle on my temper at the moment.

Stopping, Teyla crossed her arms over her chest and shot me a pointed look. "Why did we not wait for Dr. McKay?" She insisted. She picked up her pace as I kept walking and stayed at my side.

_Think fast, John._ I thought as my eyes darted around the small clearing. "He…had an important project that he was working on for Elizabeth. He couldn't come with us this time."

"That's never stopped him before." Ronon disagreed with a raised eyebrow, exchanging a look with Teyla.

Stopping cold, I spun to face them and all but snapped. "Well it did this time!" With a sigh, I rubbed at my face and counted to ten mentally, trying to control myself. _Snapping's not gonna help him._

Taking a step forward, Teyla tilted her head to the side. "Are you alright?" She seemed to regard me for a moment and I couldn't fight the automatic flinch. "You look…ill."

_No, I'm not bloody well feeling alright._ I mentally snapped, keeping my eyes closed as I took a slow, deep breath. _You try having these nightmares and being peachy-fricken-keen the next day._ "I haven't been sleeping well." I admitted after a moment. Seeing their looks, I held up a hand. "I promise that I'll go and see Carson when I get back." I added, both for their benefit and because it was the truth.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure how much more I could take of these practically sleepless nights.

Teyla simply raised a concerned eyebrow and regarded me with eyes full of unasked questions.

"I'll explain later." _It's not like I can keep it to myself, anymore._ They were getting too suspicious, and they were right. Rodney was reading too much into my actions. I didn't want to hurt anyone. Hell, I was trying to _protect_ Rodney! "Let's get this negotiation over and done with, shall we?"

Ronon's look remained unconvinced, but he walked past without a word.

Seeing Teyla still looking at me, I sighed and gave her a pleading look. "Please??"

Her look remained concerned, but she nodded ever so slightly and began walking past me, following after Ronon. Following along behind them, I was sincerely thankful for the quiet trip.

A few minutes later, Ronon suddenly stopped and crouched low. He held up a hand, and Teyla and I froze where we were.

"What is it?" Teyla raised her P90 and looked around carefully.

Pointing down, Ronon drew his finger along the ground from one tree to another, showing us a trip line. He carefully stepped over it and grunted. "Traps. We should be careful." Was all he said.

My mind immediately flashed to Rodney's bloody, unseeing face and the spike that popped out of his chest. I felt my heart pound in fear and relief. Relief that he wasn't with us, and fear that this premonition might still find a way to come true. I saw Teyla glance back at me in worry, and shook my head. "Elizabeth said they were paranoid." I muttered, following her lead and carefully stepping over the trap.

"They have been culled many times." Teyla tried to excuse them. "They are afraid." She stepped over a large version of a bear trap and ducked under some low-hanging branches.

I nodded but kept my frown on my face as I stepped over another trip wire. "Well they don't have to be so anti-social." Stepping over two consecutive trip wires and over another large bear trap, I raised an eyebrow. "How many of these things are there??"

Ronon shrugged and walked on ahead. "Haven't been counting." He pointed out another line.

As we walked on, I began to think about everything, including how I'd been treating Rodney. With a silent sigh, I stepped over yet another trip wire, and resolved to talk to Rodney and explain things as soon as we got back. All these lies and subterfuge were starting to wear on me, and despite his bluster and ego, Rodney would be very vulnerable to misreading my actions. I was his friend, this wasn't right.

As soon as we got back, I'd explain everything to him.

**(Village, Normal POV)**

Sitting at one of the tables, John remained quiet as Teyla did her thing. He struggled to look intrigued as the people around him spoke of many things that he didn't understand. The only thing he could hope was that he didn't look as bored as he felt.

Teyla was doing her thing with Ronon at her side. She spoke with the ambassador as if they'd known each other their whole lives, smiling and joking with him. It really was amazing how easy she made it look, but John knew from experience it _wasn't_ always that easy. Ronon was bored, too, from what John could see. He sat down and poked at a plate of some sort of meat, and looked around with clear disinterest.

It didn't help that everyone in the area, besides Teyla, were men. Apparently, the people of this world didn't allow females anywhere near their 'business transactions' so even the servers were male. Luckily, Teyla had been given a rare honor and considered an 'honorary male' so that she herself could perform the negotiations. It probably helped that she was able to physically knock the bodyguard of the ambassador on his ass, when he tried to stop her from entering the square. that was probably the most exciting thing to happen all day, too. Stifling a yawn, John stared at the table, trying to ignore the feeling of being watched, as he knew it was Teyla shooting him yet another worried look.

For a moment, John wished Rodney was there to be bored with him, but then he shook his head. _No. Better that Rodney isn't here._ The image of the spike in his chest and his open, unseeing eyes, flashed through John's memory again, showing him just how vivid it all was. _Much better. He's safe, that's what matters._

Suddenly, as if in reply to his thoughts, John's radio clicked on.

"Sheppard…?"

The almost hesitant tone had John shooting into a standing position in fear and shock. _No! Oh, _hell_ no!_ "Rodney??" _No, no, no!_ Everyone was staring at him, but he barely noticed as he tapped his radio with his eyes wide. "Wait! Stop! There are traps!"

There was no response and John felt his heart drop. "Rodney?" He waited a moment, almost praying for some smartass response. "Rodney!" Stepping away from the table, he turned to look at Teyla and Ronon. "We have to get back to the gate!"

Ronon had already stood up by that point and was beginning to walk over, and Teyla excused herself from the ambassador's company to join them, looking concerned.

"What's wrong?" She asked, gripping her P90 tightly.

John took a deep breath. "It's Rodney. He's come through the gate, and he's heading this way." He turned and began heading towards the path, his legs not moving nearly as fast as he'd have liked.

"He doesn't know about the traps." Ronon moved quickly, taking the lead and heading up the path.

"Exactly." John hissed, running to keep up with the tracker who decided to take the lead, knowing Teyla was right behind him. _This can't be happening! This is…_ Was this what he feared? Was this the planet where the premonition would come true?

_Would_ the premonition come true?

It was such a painfully slow trip back. Despite finding all the trip wires before, Ronon had to keep looking to make sure they didn't run into any on their way back. It felt like it was taking far too long to get through the woods.

"There is no sign of Dr. McKay." Teyla stated, worry saturating her voice as she went.

"I know. This is what I was afraid of." John's heart pounded in his head as he went along, praying Rodney was fine and that he just hadn't made it this far.

Then he saw Ronon pointing to something and mentioning on of the traps had been triggered. There, swinging from a chain was a log. It moved so slowly, and looked so foreboding. He wanted to run ahead. Part of his mind screamed that if he hurried, he could save Rodney. Then another part screamed that if he hurried, he could get killed, or end up making things worse by triggering more traps.

Making their way to the triggered trap, they found a pit nearby. It was a pit they hadn't seen earlier, because it had been hidden by foliage.

"Rodney…?" John would have been embarrassed by how quiet his voice was, if he wasn't overwhelmed by fear. He moved to the pit, and was blinded by a quick flash of the premonition running through his mind. Blinking to clear his vision, he peered down into the pit.

Rodney was lying unconscious in the pit, a deep bleeding gash on the side of his head where one of the wooden spikes had caught him. Another was sticking out of his chest. Again the vision flashed into his eyes, but it was overlapping what he was seeing now. The differences were subtle, but there. The main one was that Rodney still seemed to be breathing.

Ronon helped Teyla down into the hole and she checked his pulse, looking up after a moment with worry but a hint of relief. "He is alive." She took a knife Ronon handed her and cut the spike underneath the physicist and then John moved down into the pit to help her lift Rodney out.

Focusing on getting the canvas stretcher put up and getting Rodney back to Atlantis, John struggled to ignore the voice in his mind that kept chanting, _I told you so._ The trip back was quiet and quick, and Teyla was the first to get to the gate, dialing it up and sending her code through.

"I have dialed the gate and contacted Atlantis. Dr. Beckett will be waiting for us." She informed them as she rejoined them and made her way through the gate.

John could only nod as he prayed to whatever god there was that Rodney would be alright. He didn't trust himself to speak at that moment.

**(Atlantis, John's POV)**

Elizabeth stood across from me just inside the door to the infirmary, where Rodney was currently being kept for treatment. I'd just explained everything to her, and she had a new, understanding look on her face, even if she still seemed less than happy about it. "So you've been having this nightmare about Rodney getting killed for several days?"

_Uh, actually, more a premonition, but yeah. That sounds about right._ I thought with a nod. Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth and myself were all waiting for news on exactly how bad it was.

"And that's why you were leaving him behind." Her eyes softened in sympathy, and even Teyla and Ronon looked a little more understanding than they had before. "You were afraid that he'd get hurt."

"Yeah." I looked down. "And then he got hurt because of it."

"He'd have been alright if he was with us."

I knew it was just an observation on Ronon's part, but the words struck home and I barely managed to bite back a wince. He was right, of course. "I know." Looking up, I sighed. "By trying to prevent it, I almost made it come true."

**(Several Days Later)**

Rodney was sitting up in bed, enjoying some jello. Well, ok, eating it, but clearly not enjoying it, despite the fact that it was the blue kind. I'd stopped by to apologize for my rude behaviour, and explain what was going on, and he looked shocked.

"That's creepy. No wonder you were avoiding me." His eyes were full of understanding, even if he still tried to keep up an indignant front. Still, I saw the hint of uncertainty behind his words. "I was wondering what I'd done."

_Of course he blames himself._ I thought as I shook my head. "Not you. Me." I tried to ignore how corny the words seemed to sound, but at this point they were true. "I should've gone to Dr. Heightmeyer or someone, but I didn't know what to make of it." I was standing by the bed, with my hands in my pockets. Pulling one hand out, I ran it through my hair. "It was real weird."

Spooning another spoonful of blue jello into his mouth, Rodney grimaced and placed the half full container down with a look of disgust. "Well, I'll just be glad when I can have something other than jello." He pushed the tray away. "I'm even getting sick of the blue kind. I'm having dreams about meatloaf."

Not being able to help the small laugh, I nodded. "Well, it'll be alright if _that_ one comes true."

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Hope you like it.

Written December 7, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	38. Scorned Lover

**Puddle-Jumper38** - LOL why? He can gloat about saving his life, instead. LOL What, you mean Teyla didn't already _know_ he was a fruitcake?

**Jasminesmommy** - Thank you :)

**Debbie418uk2** - Well, I didn't want to make him falling down crying, but I _did_ want to play on his friendship to Rodney, and knowing how it would hurt the physicist that he was leaving him behind. I'm really glad you like it :)

**x Varda x** - Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

I don't remember if Larrin had blue eyes or brown, sorry.

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**(Atlantean warship, Normal POV)**

As he walked through the stairs, he nodded to the occasional passer by and sighed inwardly. He was dressed in the standard uniform, a brown leather coat that buttoned up in the front and came to his mid thigh, with black leather pants under it, and a black holster attached to a gun belt. He also had shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes. Keeping his face calm, he turned the corner and continued down the next hallway, brushing his shoulder length brown hair out of his face. _Sheppard this, Sheppard that. I never hear the end of him._

"Did you hear?" One of the newer crew was giggling and talking to a friend of hers. "Captain Larrin has a thing for that Atlantean guy, Sheppard!"

The other girl giggled as they continued on.

Frowning to himself, the young man made his way to the teleporter they'd come from, setting the controls for the bridge and stepping in. _Why doesn't she see me?_ Once the teleporter had taken him to the hallway outside the bridge, he stepped off and glared at the floor a moment before taking a single step forward. _I need to tell her… But… What if she doesn't…?_ Shaking his head, he refused the urge to groan and began walking forward again, pulling futilely at his shirt. _Damn Sheppard. That… That bastard! _

"Jorgen!"

His head cam up quickly as he stared in surprise at the angry brown eyes that he was faced with. Larrin stood there in her usual leather outfit, looking breathtaking as usual. She had her hands on her hips, a glare on her face, and her face was streaked with an oil-like substance. She had obviously been trying to work on something.

"Finally! How long were you planning on keeping…." Raising her eyebrow, she seemed to look beyond his face a moment before rubbing the bridge of her nose with one hand, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Where's your radio?"

Blinking for a moment, Jorgen frowned and reached for his ear. That's when he realized that in his haste, he'd forgotten to put it on. His radio that is, not his ear.

"Never mind, look. We've made a change in course." Her face lightened and she almost seemed ready to smirk, but the last moment she caught herself and kept her face stern. "We're having problems with some of the systems on the ship."

"And our engineers can't fix them?" Jorgen asked before he could help himself. When he saw her face darken, he swallowed and bowed his head. "Forgive me, ma'am. I was just caught off guard." He knew better than to question her.

She seemed to accept that and relaxed a little. "Our engineers have _tried_ to fix them and had no luck. There's only one place I can think of with the technology, and the people who know about the technology, to help us."

Feeling his heart drop, Jorgen opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again, his mind blank. Staring at the ground, he tried to sort out how he felt. He was confused, but the predominant thing he was experiencing was rage. _Sheppard._ He glanced up and saw her looking out the window, an almost excited look in her eyes. _Always Sheppard._ With a silent sigh, he nodded and saluted, not really sure if she noticed him, before turning and walking off.

_That's it! I can't take this anymore! I'm going to do something about this, once and for all!_

**(Atlantis, John's POV)**

"Oh come off it, Rodney. The movie wasn't _that_ bad!" Stepping carefully around some components of the console he was currently working on, I sighed and leaned over the solid back of it, knowing he'd turned off the power before he began his tinkering. "In fact, I'd say it was pretty good."

Stopping what he was doing, Rodney glared at me and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, you see, there's the problem. _You_ think it was good. _I_ think it was garbage." He raised the screw driver to the part he was currently working on before quickly using it to point at me. "Did you even _watch_ the movie, or were you just spending the time shooting Elizabeth looks?"

Feeling a slight blush come to my face, I glared at Rodney and raised an eyebrow. "She's my superior, Rodney. And my friend."

"Your friend who you were staring at like she was the hottest thing since Angelina Jolie. I swear, you were almost drooling!"

_What is his fascination with... Never mind, I don't wanna know. _"I was not!" Leaning back, I stood up straight and crossed my arms over my chest. "Where the hell's this coming from, McKay? I start talking about a movie, and you're going on and on about how you think I was putting the moves on Elizabeth." I saw him open his mouth and raised my hand quickly. "Ah! Which I was _not_ doing!"

He still looked like he wanted to say something more, but luckily for me he backed off and went back to work. That was about the time my radio chirped. Hitting it, I shot him a look when I saw a smirk threatening to cross his face.

"Sheppard here."

"John? It's Elizabeth."

_Well, speak of the devil._ Rodney's face turned a little red from the grin he was trying oh-so-hard to hide, and then he grimaced, jumped and glared at me, looking ready to stab me with the screwdriver he was still holding. Grinning at him a little, I removed my booted foot from his shin and took a few steps back. "What's up?"

"We just got a call from an old friend of yours."

Pausing for a moment, I tried to think of who she could be talking about. "Uh, Elizabeth-"

"It's Larrin." If I didn't know any better, I'd swear she sounded amused. "Her ship is on it's way here as we speak and should be here within the next two hours."

Rodney had also paused in his work and looked openly torn between being amused and irritated. Glancing my way, he shrugged and shook his head before turning back to his work.

"Really?" I grimaced when Rodney wasn't looking. The last time I ran into her, I spent the time fighting for my life, being used as a punching bag and tied up. That wasn't really my idea of a good time. "Uh, why tell me?" _It's not like I'm a mechanic._

"Because she was hoping to have a word with you."

"Oh. …Really?" _Great._ "And she'll be here in about two hours?" I began to scheme. "You wouldn't happen to know if there are any teams needing an extra hand, who'll be leaving about then, do you?"

I could hear Rodney snickering behind me, and Elizabeth right out laughed. "No, John. Sorry. I don't have any teams scheduled to head out or come back within the next two hours."

_Damn._ "Ok, I'll… Uh, where am I supposed to-"

"The jumper bay. That's where we'll be bringing her and her escort."

"Right. Ok, I guess I'll be there. Sheppard out." Tapping my radio again, I turned to shoot Rodney a look. "And what're _you_ laughing about?"

He shrugged with a huge grin. "Larrin sure seems eager to come see you again."

I was about ready to snap when a thought crossed my mind. "Rodney… Are you _jealous_?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Hardly, I'm not into bondage and sadomasochism thank you very much." Putting a hand to his chin, he waved the screwdriver in my direction for a moment. "Though I will say it's a little surprising you're not already running to the bay to wait for her."

"Yeah, well, BDSM isn't _my_ thing, either." I muttered as I turned and walked out the door.

**(Halls of Atlantis, Two Hours Later, Normal POV)**

As John and his team who, thankfully agreed to the babysitting detail, escorted Larrin and her, well, _escort_ of a single man named Jorgen down the halls, the Colonel was aware of being watched. Of course Larrin was the main one, and kept trying to get him alone with seemingly innocent comments but flirtatious looks. Still, she was at his side, and the looks he felt most were coming from behind him.

Casually glancing over his shoulder, John saw the man, Jorgen, glaring at him briefly, but seeing the Colonel's eyes on him, he turned away and pretended to be watching the other marines who passed by.

_Hm, weird. I better keep an eye on him._

Larrin, having seen the confused look in John's eyes as he glanced over his shoulder, followed his gaze and saw that he was watching Jorgen. _Why…? Oh! Maybe he's jealous?_ Feeling her heart do a flip-flop at the idea, Larrin tried to bite back the grin of triumph. "John?" He glanced at her and she felt her insides go shaky. _Damn that man has eyes!_ "Uh…"

"Listen." Coming to an abrupt halt, John turned to the others and tried to look apologetic, not knowing if it was working. "There's a few things I need to get done. Do you guys think you can show Larrin and, uh…" He hesitated while trying to remember the man's name.

Larrin raised an eyebrow. "Jorgen." She supplied helpfully, frowning at John's obvious discomfort. "What's going on?"

"Jorgen, right." He gazed at the man and shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, I'm bad with names. Uh, anyways, I gotta get going. You guys think you can show our guests to their rooms?" When Teyla nodded quietly, he nodded back. "Great." Turning to Larrin, he sighed. "Sorry, I just…" He realized he didn't have an alibi so he just shrugged. "Gotta go." With a wave, he turned and walked briskly off.

"Hey! Wait!" Turning to the rest of his team, Larrin put her hands on her waist. "Where the hell is he going?!"

"I am not certain." Teyla stated calmly as she walked forward. "Come, we will take you to your rooms, and I am certain that the Colonel will join us again soon."

_I sincerely doubt that._ Jorgen thought as he spotted a narrow hallway and slipped down into the shadows. As the others passed, he turned and dashed across the hall behind them, heading in the same direction as their 'beloved' Colonel. _No, I don't think he'll be joining us again._ Fingering a small blaster he'd managed to sneak under his leather jacket, he walked briskly down the hall, turning a corner and quickly jumping back when he found the said man on the other side, talking to a red haired woman.

"Look, Elizabeth, I mean it. This isn't my thing."

_Elizabeth? Asin Elizabeth Weir, the leader of Atlantis?_ Glancing carefully around the corner, he watched as she stared at him through narrowed eyes, and John seemed very uncomfortable. _Impressive. She knows her power._ Staring at John, Jorgen raised an eyebrow and let his eyes roam over his...competition. _Not very impressive. He's tall, but skinny, and he doesn't show any style or class._ Frowning to himself, Jorgen wondered what Larrin saw in this man.

"I don't care. Larrin specifically asked for you, and here you are, skipping out on her."

"Do you _remember_ what she did to me the first time we met? She tied me up, beat me up..." He seemed a little embarrassed by that last remark. "And threatened to kill me. I honestly can't say it's nice seeing her again."

_How dare he speak so rudely about her!_ Jorgen slipped the blaster out from under his jacket and made sure it was set. Raising it slowly, he waited for the perfect moment.

"You _also_ stated she felt it was the only way to get your attention."

John seemed to hesitate. "Ok, so it's not like I blame her, I just don't feel comfortable around her." He winced and rubbed the back of his neck. "Not to mention her body guard looks ready to rip my throat out." He held up a hand as Elizabeth opened her mouth. "And I have no idea what for. Then we can't forget the fact that she's practically trying to jump my bones." He paused. "Not that I have a problem with that, really."

Hearing that last comment, Jorgen lost it. _Larrin's mine!_ Jumping out from around the corner, he aimed the blaster as the two shocked onlookers spun around. "She's mine, Sheppard!" With that, he fired the blaster, ignoring the thundering explosion, or how he was almost instantly surrounded by guards. Everything faded away as he felt a hot searing pain in his chest, watching as John's wide eyes slipped down to the growing wet stain on his own chest. "She's....mine. Larrin's....mine..." Feeling his strength quickly fading, his legs gave out, and Jorgen collapsed.

"John!" Elizabeth snapped out of her shock as not only the stranger fell, but so did John. His eyes were wide and uncomprehending as he slipped to his knees and his hands raised to his abdomen. "Oh my god! Someone get Carson down here!" It seemed to hit her with a shock that she had a radio, and she quickly reached up and practically punched the button on it. "Carson! John's been shot!"

John tuned everything out. It was all playing back in slow motion for him. One minute he's trying to get past Elizabeth, not really feeling like watching over Larrin and her escort, the next, her said escort jumps out from around a corner and fires a blaster John was certain he hadn't seen on the man, before. The words echoed through his mind 'She's mine, Larrin's mine', and he realized that this man felt like a jilted lover.

He almost felt bad as one of the marines shot Jorgen, taking him down almost instantly. Funny enough, he hadn't even really felt it when he was shot. He glanced down, seeing the red stain growing on his shirt, and was certain it should have hurt, but it didn't. He wasn't feeling anything. Sure, there was a heat radiating through his body, but he was sure he should have been in blinding agony.

"John!"

Feeling his eyes close against his will, it became clear that he couldn't breathe. Opening his mouth, he tried to gasp for air and tell Elizabeth that he couldn't breathe, but instead he felt liquid running down his chin.

"Hold on, Colonel."

_That's....Carson...isn' it?_

"Oh, my god, John! Jorgen! What the hell happened?!"

"Sorry lass, but you need to move. I've gotta get Colonel Sheppard to the infirmary stat, or we'll lose him."

Something was in his mouth, prying it open. He felt arms around him and registered that someone was holding him upright. Trying to fight, to sit up on his own and to keep that invading something out of his mouth, John found he was unable to.

"Get that gurney set up! Hurry! We're losing him!"

Everything was fading. John could hear the voices, but only make out about half of what they were saying, and even then he wasn't sure who was saying what.

"Colonel? John, stay with me!"

**(Infirmary, John's POV)**

"A punctured lung and mild radiation poisoning. You're lucky, Jorgen didn't survive. Larrin's....confused." Elizabeth was frowning. "A scorned lover. I never would have imagined."

"Larrin barely even knew the guy, she's thinking more of a stalker." I stated quietly around the oxygen mask. Remember how before I wasn't feeling it when I got shot? Well right about now I _wish_ I wasn't feeling it. My body was hot, overheated, and there was nothing I could do about it. Infection, Carson had said, due to a radiation they had to treat. Luckily it wasn't anything severe, but I still had a lingering fever. "She's still not happy he's dead."

"Yeah, only because she wants to kill him herself, for shooting you." Rodney huffed at the side of the bed. "Really, you should listen to her."

"Listen to who, McKay?" Larrin walked into the room, glaring at him.

Ducking his head, he shrugged and tried to look innocent. "No-No one. Well, I gotta be going. See you." He walked briskly out of the room.

"John, listen, I wanna say I'm sorry about Jorgen." Larrin looked at me lying on the bed, and winced a little. "I had no idea he was gonna pull this."

I nodded a little and shot Elizabeth a raised eyebrow. "Don't...worry about it." Glancing towards Zelenka, I looked back. "Oh yeah, how's the ship?"

"As good as new." Larrin smiled a little. "Like I told my crew, this was the place to come." Shaking her head, she walked forward. "It's time for us to head off, though." Larrin actually looked a little regretful. "But hey, we'll be back for a visit." Leaning forward, she kissed my cheek before backing off, waving to the others and sauntering out of the room.

"And next time I'll make sure I'm somewhere safe, like the middle of a Wraith-infested planet during a culling." I muttered quietly, watching her go.

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Hope you like it.

Written October 19, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	39. The Threat

**Debbie418uk2** - It seemed like the perfect last line. LOL. Hm, movie? Wow, I don't even remember mentioning a movie. LOL.

**x Varda x** - It's because I want the fic to last a while, and if I hold on to the chapters,... Well, I like to update somewhat constantly. If I post all chapters and have no muse for a couple of weeks, that'll put my story on hold, and I feel guilty about my readers who end up waiting. If I keep chapters put aside, I can keep updating for a while, even if I don't write for a while, and this way readers don't have to really wait as long.

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - I think a lot of people wanted Twilight from Edward's POV. Actually, Stephenie Meyer had Midnight Sun started, which was a recount of Twilight from Edward's POV, but someone leaked the idea online, and so she's put the book on hold.

Well, I wanted to try and incorporate a few of the enemies and characters. I even have one done with Michael, that I have yet to post. But I didn't want to make Larrin an actual enemy, since she wasn't in the show, so I had someone else be the enemy. ;)

**Jasminesmommy** - I don't know. Dealing with a homocidal lover/stalker of Larrin's, and her practically obssessive behavior (in the fic, anyways), or a planet full of blood-sucking Wraith... I'd go with the Wraith, too. LOL

**E. Nagrom** - Well, it depends on Larrin's mood. If it's a good day for her... Well, either way it's a bad day for John, so...

**Puddle-Jumper38** - LMAO! I couldn't stop laughing at that. That was a cute comment, and one of my favorites. LOL

Glad you all liked it, here's the next chapter.

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**(Halls of Atlantis, Normal POV)**

When he'd stepped through the wormhole for the first time, John didn't know what to expect. If you asked him, he'd give you all kinds of false bravado, and probably make a joke about it, but behind it all, his mind will race over everything he and the Atlantis Expedition had been through since that day.

It was funny how things worked. Since the first day, John found himself standing beside Aiden Ford, at the event horizon of the stargate. He'd never stepped through one before, and only recently learned about it, and to see it up close was unnerving. Sure, it _looked_ harmless enough, but he'd learned about the whole demolecularizing and rematerializing theories, and all in all, it sounded like hell!

**Flashback**

"What's it feel like?" He found himself unconsciously asking as he stood just inches from the wormhole.

Standing next to him, Aiden turned to look at him, seeming completely serious. "Hurts like hell, sir."

John stared back, sure for a moment that the younger man was being wholly serious. The dark eyes gazing at him were resolute, and his face grim. Then, a grin broke through and backing to the gate, Aiden shot him a look that said he was kidding.

"Whoo-hoo-"

Somehow, John had a feeling that 'whoop' would have gone on longer, if Aiden Ford hadn't chosen that moment to step through the event horizon.

**End Flashback**

John never picked up that Aiden was joking. It took a few off world missions and the developing friendship for him to figure it out.

Everyone was awed. Atlantis was bigger and more magnificent than anyone could possibly have imagined. Even loud-mouthed self-appointed genius, Rodney, was shocked. Then, they found out why no one had ever heard of, or found Atlantis for so long.

It was underwater.

And not some mermaid city where the citizens would have to breathe under water or use water vehicles to travel around. _Though that would be cool._ John thought with a slight grin as he walked the hallway. Just for a moment, he allowed himself to imagine what Atlantis could have been like, in another reality. He saw mermaids, gorgeous ones at that, dressed in bikini tops with long, shimmering green and blue tails. They dove off the docks and into the water, swimming around the vast ocean as if it was their own background. _Yeah, very cool!_

Unfortunately, that was not reality. Reality was that Atlantis was so low on power, shields threatened to collapse shortly after their arrival. It was only with quick thinking did the Expedition team manage to save not only themselves and each other, but the city as well. Mark nine naqueda generators were installed at key points, and they minimized power usage until they could figure out something more permanent.

_It was close. Too close. _It had been harrowing. Scary. Looking out over the balconies, and out the windows, all you saw was blue ocean with the occasional odd creature swimming through. Only the fact that it could have come rushing in and crushed them easily, kept them from enjoying the majestic beauty.

Funnily enough, Rodney had worked well under pressure. Sure, he complained, but he got the city to the surface and floating and the shields stabilized.

Then, they realized that they needed more ZPMs. Several. The one they had could sustain them, but only for a short time. Teams were immediately put together to travel through the new stargate, to other worlds in hopes of making new allies, acquiring new technologies, and hopefully finding a few ZPMS. Their first mission had been a success, partially.

Traveling to an unknown world, Sumner, Aiden, John and several others made their first real trip. With how dark the planet was, the team was on edge, not knowing what to expect. But then, who in their right minds could possibly have expected to meet new allies, but also lose some of their own to a brand new, beyond terrifying threat??

And it wasn't just one threat. Or one time. Mission after mission, more often then not they went wrong. First it was Colonel Sumner, then some marines and civilian scientists John didn't know personally. Then Aiden was taken.

That hurt, a lot. He and Aiden had been friends since practically day one. To lose him to the Wraith Enzyme...

"Colonel Sheppard, please come in."

Jumping out of his thoughts, John sighed and tapped his ear piece. "Sheppard here. What's up?"

"We have an unscheduled off world activation. It's Lieutenant Ford's IDC, sir."

Stopping for a moment, John felt the blood drain out of his face. "Ford." After everything that had happened... Losing Aiden to the Wraith enzyme, having him reappear for a bit, hunting Wraith, and then being coerced into a mission to blow up a hive ship with him... He'd disappeared as the hive blew up. No one saw him get away. "I thought he was dead."

"No clue, sir."

Nodding to himself, John took a deep breath and began walking more briskly to the transporter that would take him to just outside the gate room, and subsequently, the control room. "I'll be there in a minute."

**(Control Room, John's POV)**

The rest of the team was here, along with Carson, and via a visual and audio link to the SGC, Elizabeth. I was busy reporting what had happened, and almost felt like I was on automatic. Somehow, I just don't think it sank in yet, that Aiden had contacted us. Hell, I didn't even realize he still had an IDC! Funny enough, he seemed a lot like the old Aiden. Friendly, joking, happy just to see us... He didn't even have the black eye thing going anymore, or the almost evil grins he used to get from the enzyme.

By no means did this mean he was cured, however.

"That's about it." I muttered, feeling the frown pulling my whole face down, as I stared into Elizabeth's pained and grim expression. "I thought you should know."

She nodded a little. "Thank you, John. What are you planning to do? I could order you not to go, but since I'm not there to physically stop you..." She grinned wryly for a moment. "Not to mention I'm sure you'd find another way to get there..."

"I'm going." I knew it. The others knew it. I knew she knew it. Aiden was a member of my team at one time. He may no longer be the man we knew, but if there was even the slightest chance of saving him and bringing him back... "I'll be taking Teyla, Ronon and Rodney, and have Lorne's team watching the gate."

Aiden had requested meeting us on the planet he currently inhabited, with a few of his remaining....friends? Followers? Apparently, after everything that happened, he didn't feel Atlantis was his home anymore. I didn't really blame him.

"John, I understand that he used to be a member of your team..."

I felt someone staring at me and tried to bite back the shiver, automatically feeling uncomfortable. I knew it was Ronon. Everyone else knew Aiden had been a part of my team, and a cherished friend. Ronon was still new. He knew about all this, but I think it often slipped his mind how affected we all have been, over what happened to the former Lieutenant.

Elizabeth sighed and lowered her head a moment. When she raised it again, I saw the resignation in her face. "Just be careful."

With a nod, I gave her a forced smile. "Will do. I'll let you know how it goes."

With a final nod, she ended the transmition, and I sighed, turning to the others. "Well, we better suit up."

"What if Aiden tries to, oh I dunno, kidnap us again?" Rodney seemed torn between being his usual snappy self, and feeling guilty.

"We're just gonna have to take that chance." Ronon spoke up, unusually quiet.

Teyla nodded and briefly placed a hand on my shoulder. "We will be there with you. We all miss Aiden." With that, she turned and walked off, walking with the one female on Lorne's current team, to get ready.

Looking to the others, I sighed. "Alright. Let's go."

**(Sandy Desert)**

Everything was hot. The air, the sun, the sand, even the water dripping from the giant orange cactus-like plants. Yeah, that was a weird feature. Pretty earthy desert with giant orange cactuses that dripped small rivets of warm water.

"Neat, but utterly useless." Rodney examined the plant curiously. "Katie would have a field day, though."

"Katie? What's this, Dr. McKay's got a girlfriend??"

Spinning at the sound of the voice, I raised my P90, my ears telling me the others were doing the same, and paused when I came face-to-face with Aiden Ford. "Lieutenant?"

He smirked a little and raised an eyebrow, two of his friends standing just behind him. "I think we can forget the formalities, John. I gave up being a 'Lieutenant' a long time ago." He grimaced a little, as if remembering the old times. He was wearing a black cloth muscle shirt, that looked like it used to have long sleeves, but they were torn off. He also wore beige leather pants, and a gun in a holster.

An all too familiar gun in an all too familiar holster.

"You can really say that when you're still walking around armed like a military man?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, gesturing to the thigh holster. "Still carrying earth weapons?"

"A weapon's a weapon." He stated back, his face set stony. "Not that I've had much use for it." He pulled the holster off his leg, snapping the straps that held it to his though, and tossing it over. "So feel free to take it with you."

Something in his mannerism hit me as funny, and I kept my P90 raised. "You said you wanted to talk, I don't see what we have to talk about." It was odd, I knew my voice was coming out cold, and by his searching expression, I guessed my expression was, too. That might have been my outward appearance, but my inner appearance was screaming and trying to go in a million directions at once. "So? Talk."

He frowned deeply and glanced at his two friends before seemingly hesitating. I don't think he'd been expecting my attitude. Then, he raised his head and stuck his chin out in a sign of defiance. "We want you to stop working with that retrovirus of yours."

Pausing for a moment, it hit me he was talking about the Wraith retrovirus. The one that almost turned me into a human Iratus bug, and the same one that Carson was trying to perfect, in order to turn the Wraith human permanently. It was my turn to frown, the mask I'd been wearing, shaking a little but not breaking. _That can't be Aiden. It's not Aiden. It's not the Lieutenant._ "Why?"

"Because once given the injection, they don't stay human, anyways, right?"

"...How do you know all this?"

"I have my resources. My point is, once you give them the retrovirus and they transform, they don't stay that way. When they transform back, their enzyme is tainted." He grimaced and his eyes narrowed. Reaching behind him, he pulled out a vial as I raised my P90 higher, in warning. "Here. Don't believe me?"

When he tossed the vial to me, I had a choice. Drop my P90 and catch it, or let it fall and pray the glass didn't shatter. If I dropped my P90, I was vulnerable to attack, if I let the vial hit the ground, it would probably have shattered, exposing us to whatever was inside it.

Luckily, I was saved from a decision as Ronon stepped forward quickly and caught the vial with one hand, using the other to keep his blaster on Ford and his men. "And why would that bother us?" He tilted his head a little.

Aiden snarled. "It's 'bothering' _us_! Two of my people tried to use the enzyme from one wraith who'd turned back, and became extremely sick! They got fevers and welts, and began acting aggressively!"

"You mean more so than usual?" Rodney put in with a raised eyebrow. "Really now? I don't see how you can tell the difference, with the way you're acting now, and all."

Waving his arm over his head, Aiden grabbed something else from behind his back. A gun. A strange P90 shaped gun that seemed to have two barrels and a scope on top. How he hid it.. He must have had it lying length wise down his back. Quickly he aimed his gun at us.

His friends joined him, carrying smaller Wraith stunner pistols.

"See?!" Rodney cried, grabbing his pistol and taking quick aim.

I raised an eyebrow. "Um, Ford? I think you forgot how to count. Only one of you has a weapon capable of killing, and there's three of you to the four of us."

Now Aiden smirked. "You sure about that? Better look again."

Figures began to move in the distance, behind his little group. Right at the farthest edge of the dunes, a bunch of people began to descend towards us. Two were carried in chains, making valiant efforts to break free, and snarling, but not being able to get away.

_Oh, crap._ I noticed the rest all held weapons.

"How about a deal, _Colonel_?" Aiden backed away with his friends. "A fight. You and..." He looked around. Gazing at Ronon, and then Teyla, he smirked. "Nah, the fight would be too easy." Seeing Rodney, his eyes widened with excitement. "Colonel Sheppard, and Dr. McKay, you two will fight these guys. Crealus." He pointed to one man covered in welts. "And Saron." He pointed to the other. "If you both beat your foes, you can go. If even one of you fails or dies, you all die."

"What kind of deal is that??" Rodney stared wide eyed at the men who were frothing at the mouths. "Oh my god, they probably have rabies! You expect me to _fight_ him?!" One guy collapsed to his knees and got back up with a bit of a groan. "What the hell?! Are they zombies or something?!"

"They're not zombies, and if it makes you feel any better, we've found out their bites aren't contagious." Aiden stated, standing back in the circle that had formed around us. "Oh, and no guns." He snapped his fingers, and two people came forward, aiming stunners at us.

"'_Bites'_?!" Rodney squealed, taking a step back with a horribly pale face.

I wanted to fight, but there were so many, I was terrified of my people getting hurt. I also wanted to strangle Aiden about now. He wanted a _challenge_, so he decided to put Rodney directly in the way of harm. Reluctantly, we all handed over our weapons. "Well, I guess you were right. You're not the Lieutenant Aiden Ford we all know and miss. No military man would ever wanna put a civilian in a fight. Hell, I don't know if you remember, but it was considered cowardly."

Frowning for a moment, Ford looked away. When he looked back, he stared at me silently a moment. "...Release them." He stated, waving in the direction of the two chained men. "If you beat your guy first, you're allowed to help McKay, how's that sound?"

Obviously Ronon wanted to fight. He kept still however, shooting me a glance that told me he was waiting for me to give the word. Several people in the group had their weapons trained on all of us, however, and I was pretty certain we'd all end up hurt, if not dead, if he pulled anything. Shaking my head at him, I turned back to Ford. "Who goes first?"

He smirked. "First? You'll both be fighting at the same time."

Crealus and Saron were released from their chains and snarled at their captors, but the people carrying guns held them up, and the two sick men stopped. Gesturing with their guns, the directed the infected men's' attention to myself and McKay, as Ronon and Teyla were led out of the circle.

"You better not betray us." I snarled lowly at Aiden, wondering if I could really trust him.

He almost glared at me indignantly, standing just inside the small circle, as a sort of referee. "I'm more honorable than that."

"Could've fooled me." Ronon hissed from the sidelines.

Ignoring him, Aiden gestured to the two infected men, who were advancing on us. "I'd pay attention if I were you."

Glaring at him, I turned to the two infected men and stared at them, trying to judge if reasoning with them would work, or maybe if I just needed to knock them out for a bit. Their skin was red in places, and pale in others, and was slick with what I was hoping was sweat. Like Aiden had said, they had welts all over, most of which had broken open from scratching, and had gone incredibly infected. Their hair was damp and matted to their foreheads, and their eyes were all but blank, other than the amazing amount of rage they seemed to be giving off.

The elder of the men, the one Aiden had called Crealus, snarled and babbled incoherently before dashing forward, but instead of getting a hold of me, I managed to kick his legs out from under him. Strangely, he only seemed to be in his mid-twenties, but as he fought to get up again, I noticed the hesitation and how he seemed unsteady on his feet.

"Hey! Back off!"

Spinning to Rodney, I watched as he backed away from the other man, Saron. This man seemed to not even be twenty yet, he was definitely the younger of the two men. He lunged forward and grabbed McKay, and Rodney grabbed his arm, leaning back as the other man seemed to try and bite him. They grunted and wrestled for a bit, and I was about to run over to help him when I felt a nudge on my shoulder and a blinding pain in my side.

Having the wind knocked out of me, I went down fast. I landed on my hands and knees, if the burning sand was any indication, and gasped as the pain seemed to intensify for a moment before fading. "Ok." Standing up shakily, I turned and glared at Crealus. "Ow!" Lashing out, I punched him in the jaw and watched as he staggered back. "That was _not_ fair!" I stepped forward and kicked him in the stomach.

"Sheppard!"

As Crealus bent to catch his breath, I spun and ran over to Rodney, who was currently on his back with Saron leaning over him, his hands wrapped around Rodney's throat. "Crap!" Hey!" Grabbing the narrow shoulders, I pulled him back and threw him with all of my strength, across the circle.

Now, I didn't grab _that_ hard, and he didn't land awkwardly, but when he did land, he rolled, and there was an audible crack. Once he was done, he just laid there, his eyes open and unseeing.

"Geez, John! Remind me to never piss you off." Rodney rubbed his throat and hacked as he stared at the body.

Someone grabbed me, and I spun, raising my hand to lash out. I didn't get far, however, as Crealus grabbed my hand and bit down, hard.

"Ow-Hey!" Using the palm of my other hand, I punched him in the throat and watched as he staggered back, clutching the injured area and gasping and choking. As he was distracted, I checked out my hand, wincing as I saw the bite marks bleeding profusely. "Damn, that hurt!" When I glanced up again, I frowned as he came back at me, and jumped to the side, spin kicking him in the head.

Again a crack was heard, and he went down.

"What're these guys made of? Straw?" Ronon glared as he pushed his 'guards' off him.

Aiden seemed torn a moment, but looking at me, he nodded. "A promise is a promise." Narrowing his eyes at the others, I almost heard the sigh. "Come on, let's go." As the others left, he turned back to me and raised an eyebrow. "You might not wanna stick around too long. There's about two dozen or more of those guys out there." He gestured to the vast desert. "They're always looking for a meal."

"How many of these guys have been using infected Wraith enzyme?!" I felt my eyes narrow.

He shrugged. "They were mostly addicts when I found them, but since your little experiments, I'd say maybe close to a hundred."

"A _hundred_?!" Rodney's eyes had gone completely wide. "Why don't you stop them?!"

Aiden turned and glared at him. "Not my problem. Besides, how can I stop them when I don't even know which Wraith have been infected until _after_ they've taken the enzyme and showed signs of infection?!" Turning, he stalked off without even a backwards glance.

"Aiden! Wait! Come back to Atlantis with us!" I knew it was a long shot, but I wasn't ready to give up just yet. "I still think we can get you off the enzyme! And all these people!"

"The only thing I _want_, Colonel, is for you to stop experimenting with the Wraith!" He shot back, before running off to catch up with his people.

Frowning, I sighed and looked again at my bleeding hand. "He's right. We might as well go." _That didn't turn out well, but I guess I should have expected that._ I started towards the DHD, a little surprised to remember we weren't that far from the gate. We hadn't made it far before Aiden and his men caught up to us. As I dialed Atlantis, I turned to my surprisingly quiet team. "You guys ok?"

Ronon remained quiet and shrugged. I wasn't too sure, but from everything I'd learned, my guess was that he was about as 'ok' as he got.

Teyla remained quiet for a moment, but frowned. "If people are truly becoming infected by the tainted enzyme, perhaps Aiden is right. We should stop experimenting on the Wraith."

"Or maybe they need to stop taking the enzyme." Rodney shot back with a look. "I mean, them taking it in the first place is not only careless, it's... It's dangerous!"

"Yes, but we have no way of knowing how many people have been allowed access to the enzyme, or how many are addicted. All of these people are suffering, and we are creating even more problems than answers! This is wrong!"

I nodded a little. "Look, I agree with you, Teyla. It's Carson and the SGC you gotta convince." I figured that Carson wouldn't be too hard to talk out of it, since people were being hurt, but the SGC, being ordered by the IOA... That could be a different matter all together.

As the wormhole stabilized, I sent my IDC through and waited for confirmation that the shield was down. _Today didn't go well, but this is far from over._ I thought as we stepped through the event horizon.

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Hope you like it.

Written October 18, 2008

R+R please, all suggestions are welcome. :)

Thank you.

Tenshi


	40. Cast Outs

**Debbie418uk2** - Yeah, that's exactly why I wanted to put him in. He's not really a bad guy, he just got the short end of the stick and the enzyme is messing with his mind. Yeah, fight scenes are not my strong point. I guess it all depends on the muse for the chapter. This is one of my slightly older ones, so I don't know how it turned out. Ohhhhh! I'd have to read the chapter again to figure out which movie I was talking about. LOL

Oh! I never had any movie in mind! LOL! I don't know what movie it was, so you'll have to pick one. Hum....Maybe... Lost in Space?

**Jasminesmommy** - Yep, I never saw him die once and for all, so I believe he's still alive. :)

**E. Nagrom** - LOL, I never thought of that. But I don't think Aiden ever _died_. Not that I know of, except when the enzyme was first introduced into his system. Thank you, I figured it was fully possible the treatments could taint the enzyme.

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - Unfortunately, my computer won't open the file, so I can't read the chapters. (Sighs) Well, I can always dream. :) LOL. Glad you liked the chapter.

The idea of this story was inspired by **Debbie418uk2**'s latest chapter of 'Rodney's Really Bad Days', Chapter 59, 'The Outcasts'. Consider this a tag of sorts. I meant it to be more original, but as I wrote, this is what came out. I hope you like it, and thank you to **Debbie** for the muse.

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**(Normal POV)**

The first thing John noticed as he rolled over, was the pain in his head and the tangy taste of blood in his mouth. Feeling dirt under his fingers, he paused in his movements and struggled to make sense of everything, his eyes still closed against an apparently bright assailant, and the pounding mirgaine that threatened to send him spiralling back into the world of darkness.

_The last thing I remember was..._ He paused, his mind still fuzzy. _The gate. We travelled through the gate on a recon mission. We..._ Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he gasped as the bright light of the sun burned his sensitive eyes. "Ah!" Closing his eyes, he put the back of one of his gritty hands against them and waited for the dizzy spell to pass, before he decided to make another attempt. _Crap! The others!_ Managing to get his eyes open, he looked around and vaguely recognized the burning remains of the small village he and his team and taken up temporary residence in.

That was when the smell of burning flesh met his nose, and he winced, pulling back a little, before trying his arms and pushing himself shakily into a sitting position. The wince made John realize something was pulling at the side of his head and he raised a hand to feel something rough. Pulling his hand back after scratching a little, he realized it was dried blood. "Oh, man. What happened?"

There was little to nothing left of the village, wild fires having destroyed a lot of it. Bodies lay unmoving on the ground, and from their state, it was clear to tell they weren't _going_ to be moving, any time soon.

_A massacre._

That's all it could be described as. As he slowly stood up, everything spun and John forced his eyes closed.

**Flashback**

"Welcome to Ghorek, our home." A lively child was grinning as he lead Team Sheppard towards a small village made up over about seven straw huts and maybe a little over a dozen people. Their guide was a boy of about six, who was dressed in ratty-looking leather pants, and that was about it. No one else seemed much better. Everyone was pale and clearly under nourished, and their clothing was all ratty and looked ready to fall apart.

A young woman came over and smiled wanly, her oddly blue hair shining in the sun. "I'm sorry, has my son dragged you to our village? He's very easily over exciteable." She bowed, and nearly stumbled, but luckily Ronon caught her hand and held her up. When she blushed and pulled away, offering an apology for her clumbsiness, the big Satedan offered a confused look.

"We're explorers." John stepped forward, offering what he hoped was a kind smile. "We came from the Stargate."

"Star...gate?"

"The large metal gate, over there a ways?" John made vague motions with his hands, gesturing in the direction they'd come. In fact, he was barely paying attention at the moment. He was more transfixed by the numerous lovely young woman, and the cute kids running around. _Wait..._ Suddenly, something hit him and he frowned. "Uh, excuse me, but... Where are the men?"

As soon as he asked that, he noticed several of the women almost looking afraid. They glanced at him, Rodney and Ronon warily, and kept most of their children close to them, as if somehow protecting them.

The young woman who's come over, spun around to face him, her eyes wide. "You are from the gate of worlds?" She eyed them closely. "Then you do not know of how things work on our world?"

He shook his head, noting Teyla's worried look. "I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to scare you."

Staring at him a moment longer, she seemed to search for something, but then smiled a little. "You are not like the Gharens, then. Please, come, we will explain all." Turning, she walked towards a large unlit firepit, and sat on a log around it's edge.

Still frowning, John exchanged looks with the rest of his team before moving forward, gripping his P90 tighter as he went.

**End Flashback**

_That was two days ago. _

The Ghoreks didn't have much to trade for, but they did have a berry that was, apparently, very high in vitamins. At least, that's what one of the later teams that came through, told us. They were extremely excited about it because it had such a high amount of general vitamins, like a multi-vitamin pill, only one that tasted a lot better. The Ghoreks were eager to trade for food and medical supplies, and Elizabeth agreed warily, uncertain about everything that was going on, on this planet.

Stumbling over to one of the bodies, John winced to see Rhinna, a little girl from the Ghorek village, burned to a crisp. With a heavy sigh, he looked around and raised his hand to his radio. "Rodney? Teyla? Ronon? Anyone, this is Colonel Sheppard, do you read me?" When he was met with silence, he felt his eyes narrow as he moved around the center of the village, patting himself down and realizing his weapons were gone. "Damn!" He tapped his radio again. "This is Colonel Sheppard calling the gate patrol, do you read?"

"Sir, this is Major Freeman. We read you."

"Finally! At least _someone's_ still out here." Groaning a little, John's legs collapsed under him as his head spun again. "Look... We... We were, er, _are_ under attack. I can't contact anyone else, and Ghorek village is gone."

"Sir, we didn't get any anomalous readings."

"Doesn't change the fact that I'm standing in the middle of a levelled village, and my only companions are burned bodies." He shot back with a glare, forcing himself to his feet. "Listen, call Atlantis and have them send at least three teams backup. I need to find the rest of my team, and see if there are any survivors."

"Alright." There was silence for a moment, then his voice came back. "Sir, I've got Salsman dialing the gate now."

"Good. Until the backup arrives, I'm going to request radio silence. I'll be scouting around the village."

"Understood."

"Sheppard out."

**Flashback**

"Thank you, Rhinna, for showing us around." John smiled at the enthusiastic little girl.

Brushing her long green hair out of her eyes, she nodded and smiled brightly. Turning, she danced her way out to a distant hut, turned, and waited for us.

"Huh, she's energetic, isn't she?" Rodney was eyeing his padd. "There's no weird readings here, I doubt they're pulling a Genii."

"Good." Smiling towards the little girl, I raised an eyebrow. "Funny how they all have odd hair colours."

"Yeah, like the fiery red haired boy, the blue haired woman and this green haired little girl." Rodney made a face.

"What? Is it making you wanna dye your hair?" John tried not to smirk as Ronon grinned.

"No, but I really can see you with pink hair."

Chuckling at Ronon's abrupt glare, John shook his head. "Try it, Rodney, and ally or not, Ronon'll scalp you."

"Not that there's much to get." Ronon mused out loud. "Maybe they have a secret hair growth formula you can use?

Glaring right back, Rodney muttered something under his breath and turned back to his padd.

**End Flashback**

John had circled all through the village, finding at least a dozen bodies either in the remains of the burned huts, our out someplace visible. That basically made up for the majority of the village population, but he did notice that some seemed missing, and besides two bodies of his marines, the rest of his team was still missing.

His radio chirped and John almost jumped a foot in the air. Cursing his nervs, he grabbed the almost empty P90 he found lying near one of the bodies. It obviously wasn't there during the fire, it looked undamaged, but besides the burns on the body, it was also riddled with bullet holes, telling him either one of his men went crazy, or the enemy got a hold of their weapons. Tapping his radio, he glared at the ground as he made his way to a large path created by several pairs of feet, and signs of several people being dragged. "Sheppard here."

"Reinforcements have arrived, sir. SG-2, SG-7 and SG-13. I'm sending them to you, sir, Dr. Weir has instructed two more teams to come through to assist us in holding the gate, in case we are attacked."

"Understood." Without even waiting for them, he stalked into the woods, his vision red in the corners at the thought of a basically helpless society so cruelly taken down. "Have SG-2 set up a base in the village and hold that spot, and tell SGs 7 and 13 to scout the edges of the town. They'll find a trail left by the attackers."

"What about you, sir?"

"I'm going on ahead of them. Sheppard out." Following the trail, he saw the occasional bloody mark on a tree trunk, or a droplet on the ground, and hoped the enemy was injured.

**Flashback**

"So Gharen is where all of the men...are, and...they are all...married?" John's eyes were narrowed, not knowing what to think.

Juliennus nodded with a frown, being the only male in the village over seven or eight years of age. He was an elderly man, and the one in charge of helping the women with the hunting and gathering. "And they come every year to pick at least five boys to take back to the town with them."

"I don't understand. These are all children born out of..."

"Treason. Yes. Unfortunately, the men of Gharen are unreliable. They will often hide their marital status, take a mistress, and the moment she becomes pregnant, kick her out of the town with the child. The women never ask or say anything. The men of Gharen are in control, if the women question them, they are beaten or killed."

"But you're not like that." Teyla frowned.

"Not all men are, but most of them. Most of the men were taken from this village at some point or another, as children, but if they are chosen at a later age, they tend to keep their memories of their real mothers. Most of us try to get back, but once in Gharen, the security set up will kill you for trying."

"It's a more advanced society, then?"

Juliennus chuckled dryly and shook his head. "Far from it. They are about the same as us, but see themselves as better. About their only advancement is some rudimentary explosive device. The only real difference is that there are far more of them. They vastly outnumber us. They have many guards, who are instructed to kill on sight any who try to leave or enter the village." After a moment, he frowned. "We still have our sources of information, however. They have told us Gharen is planning to attack us. If it is just a small task force, perhaps they won't do much damage."

"You can't mean you're just gonna sit back and accept the attack?!" Rodney's eyes were huge, and he almost dropped the plate of berries he was holding.

The village elder sighed and shook his head. "What else can we do? I am the only one who knows how to use a weapon, I would have taught the others, but I do not know how to make more, and the only weapon this town has is one bow and a few lonely arrows. If we do not resist, they may feel merciful to keep the killing to a minimum."

"But why are they killing at all?"

"They see us as a threat. Every year our number grows, as we learn more and more about how to survive on our own. The bigger our village gets, the bigger the threat to them. Or, so they think."

**End Flashback**

"They were no threat." John gritted out from between his teeth as he stalked on ahead. Hearing a sound to his left, he spun in that direction, and stumbled back a step as a dizzy spell hit him. Leaning against a nearby tree, he took a deep breath and focused on the path, continuing on down it.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour or more of walking, he heard the sound of a celebration in the distance. That only served to fuel his anger. _They massacred women and children and they're _celebrating_?!_ He snuck up to a large tree and looked around it, his eyes narrowing as they landed on a fair sized group of men who were drinking from leathers and standing around a small fire.

Glancing around, he saw his team tied up at the edge of the clearing, the only one conscious was Ronon, and he looked ready to kill, himself. Then again, that might have had to do, in part, with a man who was playing with his blaster, like it was some sort of toy.

Looking to either side of him, he noticed a small path to his right that led around the clearing. Frowning for a moment, he wasn't really sure what to do, but glancing again at Ronon and seeing the Satedan's eyes locked on his, as well as the almost pleading look to untie him so he could go on his own massacre... John began to circle the clearing through the small path, taking a lot longer than he would have liked, but needing the time to make sure he was careful and as silent as possible.

There was a round of cheers and John looked to the clearing again, feeling his eyes widen as one of the Gharens held up the severed head of Juliennus. He quickly turned back to his task and snuck through the woods, making it to the back of his team. Now for the tough part. They were in a little ways, and the only way to cut them free would have been to walk into the clearing to do so.

And there John was with only an almost empty P90. There were about a dozen rounds left, and he didn't even have a knife. Things were looking grim. He had no idea of where his backup was, and there was no way he could see to get Ronon free before one of the guys shot off his bow, or the one that held a lone P90, getting off a few hundred shots.

Hearing a sound in the woods, back the way he'd come, he glanced that way and felt his heart skip a beat. If they found him now, he'd lose the only surprise advantage he had at the moment, so making a quick, albeit irrational decision, he leapt forward and shot the nearest guard. _2._ That left him with ten rounds, a bunch of pissed off Gharens, and a knife on the downed body to toss to Ronon and hope the Satedan could reach and use it in time. Doing just that, he jumped to the left of where he was standing, drawing the fire towards him, and shot three more people. _6._ Only six rounds left.

A searing pain in his side made him cry out, and John looked down to find a small throwing knife imbedded into his side. He ignored it in favor of shooting the thrower, followed by the leader, the one who'd been holding Juliennus' head. _8, 10_... All the firing, and the new pain in his side renewed John's migraine, and he felt his legs give out. Falling to one knee, he looked to the nearest enemy and pressed the trigger.

_Click._

_Oh, crap._ His eyes widened as he realized he'd used the last of his rounds. The enemy was closing in and he couldn't move, then there was a flash of red light, and the guy went down. Looking to his right, he noticed Ronon blasting people as Teyla slowly worked on getting Rodney free. Hearing blasts from his far left, he spun and saw his backup finally arriving. "About time!" He called as he stood up shakily.

Unfortunately, he'd taxed himself too much, and that was the last straw. Everything spun, and voices faded in and out. There was a sharp pain in the side of his head, but instead of bringing him back to the present, it only served to shove him farther, pushing him into the world of blissful darkness.

**(Infirmary)**

"So there were three boys they'd kept in a different camp, taken from Ghorek. They've been relocated into the Athosian settlement, by the way. And Lieutenants Corrin and Faldy were also kept in a different group. They were going to be killed later, but we managed to get to them in time. We're holding a large ceremony for all the innocents massacred in Ghorek village, the three boys are helping us out with that. And when we returned later, it looked like some kind of secondary massacre took place." Elizabeth was frowning. "The Wraith had stopped by and culled the remaining people on that world."

"Good." John glared grimly at the bedsheet across his form, ignoring the faint pounding in his head from an arrow that just barely missed puncturing his skull. Seeing the look he got, he raised an eyebrow. "Hey, they killed women and children for the hell of it."

Still, Elizabeth frowned deeply. "I've sent back teams to finish harvesting what fruit remained. You're lucky to be alive. You should have waited, John."

"I chanced more people dying."

"You did that anyway, rushing into a battle field with a dozen rounds left on your P90."

"I still managed to do a lot of damage and free Ronon."

"And if backup hadn't shown up when it did, you would have been killed. John, that was reckless." She pursed her lips and sighed. "Good thing I told them you'd probably pull this, and made sure they knew to hurry."

"Hey!"

"You're on light duty for the next two weeks, Colonel. Get some rest." She glared half-heartedly at him. "And no more rushing into battle so foolishly, ok?"

He wanted to argue, but when he stopped to think about it, John knew she was right. With a hesitant nod, he laid back and relaxed, closing his eyes as the morphine ran through his system via the IV Carson had going. A graze on his skull, a mild concussion from being hit from behind with a sling-shot and stone, and a nasty gash from a small throwing knife. Ronon, Teyla and Rodney had all been stunned, and besides Rodney suffering from low blood-sugar, they were relatively unhurt. John had come out the worse for wear.

And it was still nothing to the way those boys must be suffering. John made a mental note to go visit them when he felt better, but for now... Whether he wanted to or not, sleep was calling.

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Hope you like it.

Written October 21, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	41. Christmas Tree oh Christmas Tree

This is a kind of belated Christmas chapter, if you will.

**Debbie418uk2** - LOL The last chapter wasn't the Christmas one. I have tons of winter ideas, I just need the muse to finish them. Unfortunately, my muse is circling frantically the Twilight book series and movie at the moment.

**E. Nagrom** - Yes, Elizabeth is quite perceptive at times. Especially when it comes to one of her friends/someone she cares about.

**Jasminesmommy** - Yep, I agree.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Oh trust me, I've got dozens of stories in the works, most of which are currently Twilight-oriented, though I'm still working on SGA fics whenever I get a muse.

Thanks for sticking with me, everyone. Merry Christmas (I was half tempted to say Merry Kiss-my-ass, but that doesn't seem appropriate... I need to hurt my friend for putting that in my head, LOL!).

This is basically quick and to the point. My muse wanted to go a dozen different ways and I couldn't really focus on it long enough to do a very good job.

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**(John's POV)**

"Hey Rodney, have you seen Major Lorne?" I stood at his laboratory door and panted for breath. "I've been looking for him all over."

"He's gone to P4M-881, why?" Rodney looked up from his computer and raised an eyebrow. "What? Did you just come from a marathon or something?"

I shook my head, took a deep breath and held it for a moment, before letting it out as a loud sigh and walking forward. "Nah, Elizabeth sent me looking for him. Something about getting my Christmas tree?"

"Oh, yeah, your Christmas tree."

"What about it?"

Rodney looked back down at his computer and began typing again. "Well, he went to get it. Took his team to the winter wonderland that is P4M-881. As long as they can avoid the snow imps, they should be fine."

"Uh, Rodney?" I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms over my chest, trying to figure out why we hadn't just asked the SGC to send us a Christmas tree from earth. When I asked him that very question, he stared at me like I'd grown a second head.

"This was faster, obviously. I thought timing was everything." Rodney finally sighed and looked up from his computer once again. "Look, you're going to keep questioning me and not let me get any work done until the Major's team gets back, aren't you? I have diagnostics and stuff to run."

"It's Christmas, Rodney. Elizabeth ordered us all to have the day off. You can do the diagnostics tomorrow, ok?" I walked forward and perched at the end of his desk, knowing he hated it when I did that. "Come on, there's turkey, and I'm not talking the instant turkey sandwiches."

Immediately, Rodney's face lit up. "Really? Well, I guess I could take a break for a short while."

I waited patiently while Rodney closed up his laptop and exited his office. Following behind him, I only detoured when I got a call Lorne had returned with a huge Christmas tree. Apparently Rodney wasn't as excited about it as I was, and he muttered something about allergies to pine as he stalked off in one direction, leaving me to head to the control room alone.

**(A Few Hours Later, Normal POV)**

John entered the lunch room with Rodney close on his heel. The said physicist had a turkey drumstick hanging out of his mouth and a bottle of beer in one hand as he tried to explain the problem with the tree.

"Would you swallow first, _then_ try explaining it?" John finally snapped after being dragged across Atlantis from a smaller, more private party with Lieutenant Megan Meyer. "The tree's…what?" He was only half paying attention even as his mind snapped to about a dozen ways to effectively deal with the problem and get back to the private party before it was over.

Rodney swallowed his food and frowned. "I was _saying_ two marines reported the tree…" He frowned a moment and shrugged. "Moving. Well, more like writhing, but they said moving."

"It's probably just the wind." John frowned deeply as he entered the lunch room. He looked around and frowned. "Well, I don't see anything wrong with it. Stay here." He walked forward and stood right at the base of the massive tree. For a moment, John was struck at just how _huge_ the tree was, and he paused to admire the easily ten foot tall tree. Then he reached forward and ran a hand over the red garland that was wrapped along the bottom branches.

Nothing.

"See?" John reached out further and stuck his hand into the branches. He shook one and raised an eyebrow when he pulled his hand back and nothing happened again. Turning to Rodney, he raised his hands a little and shrugged. Then he frowned as Rodney's eyes got really huge. "What?" He half turned to the tree, only to freeze.

There was a buzzing sound. It started off so faint it sounded a lot like a breeze rushing through leaves. But it got louder, quickly, and soon was deafening. Turning to the tree fully, his eyes widened as he saw a swarm of black insects flying around the top of the tree.

"Oh, you're kidding me!" He took a step back as the buzzing got louder and more and more bugs seemed to join the swarm. They looked like black ants, only bigger, and with wings. Whatever they were, they had huge stingers. "I _hate_ bugs!"

John took a quick step back and looked over his shoulder to see Rodney had dropped his food and drink, and was staring in growing horror at the swarm of insects. Turning back, he spun to run when suddenly, the swarm began to dive at him, and John swore loudly as he raised his hands to cover his head. He felt a lot of sharp pains all over his arms, face and chest, and he ran away from the tree, barely aware of Rodney's voice screaming for a security team and medical team to their location.

There were more painful stings, and John stumbled as a vibrating sense ran up his legs and arms. His body was beginning to tingle painfully, only pausing long enough to register another sting. He was stung in places no man should ever be stung, and he screamed as he ran.

He felt something wrap around his arms and body, and heard what sounded like stunners. A door opened and he was ushered through it, and then it closed again. The tingling got worse as his body slowly went numb. His legs gave out, and he was aware of a strong set of arms catching him as he began to fall. His throat was screaming in agony, even as his head pounded along with it.

"John!"

John gasped for breath as he was lifted off the ground and placed on what felt like a big bed. He swallowed heavily, but it didn't feel like it went down his throat. No, he felt something warm dribbling down the side of his face.

"Get that oxygen mask on his face, now! We have to move; his throat's closing up!" There was silence for a second, even as John felt himself being moved. "Damn it! This is Carson; I want the infirmary set up for an emergency tracheotomy a.s.a.p!"

"What happened?" Teyla's voice was panicked.

John couldn't see. He struggled to hear the response, but it was like trying to hear through water. Everything went from extremely hot to extremely cold and everything hurt. The voices faded away into nothingness, along with the light. Darkness overwhelmed him.

**(Infirmary)**

"Did you get rid of the damn things?!" Carson paced in the infirmary after having to set up several emergency tracheotomies. "I hope not!" He glared at the startled looks he got. "I need an untainted sample of the venom they use, and I need it quickly."

Ronon and Teyla nodded, even as Lorne registered the patients who were currently on life support. The poor Major looked like someone had just kicked his puppy; the guilt on his face was overwhelming.

"We'll get it, doc. We had to stun half the swarm, and the rest retreated into their…nest." Ronon turned to Teyla. "Let's go." They swiftly left the room before the tree could be fully dismantled and left Lorne alone with Carson.

"Will they be alright, doc?"

"Aye, I dunno. They've all taken a lot of stings and whatever this venom is, it's potent. It caused severe reactions quite similar to allergic reactions. It caused their throats to swell up and their bodies to pump too much adrenaline. They're fine for the time being, but the longer the venom stays in their bodies, the worse the symptoms will get." Carson looked at the five people situated around the infirmary, in various stages of swelling.

One had massive hives all over their face and arms, Another was red and swollen horribly. John was the worst off, being the one who was stung the most and had the venom coursing through his veins longest.

"Can it be fatal?"

Carson sighed and hesitated a moment before nodding. "Aye, lad. That it can. That's why I need the sample of their venom quickly." Someone's heart monitor began beeping warningly and Carson rushed over to John even as it stopped beeping and began emitting one long pulse. "Damn it! We're losing him!" he began pumping on John's chest, even as he got a nurse to check the air tube in his throat, to make sure it wasn't plugged.

Ronon and Teyla chose that time to show up, and as soon as Carson saw them, he waved the nurse to take over. "Just keep pumping." He instructed firmly as he turned and raced towards the Athosian and Satedan. "Do you have it?!"

Teyla's eyes were wide as she stared at John's too still form, and the nurse pumping on his chest. Ronon held out his hands with about half a dozen unmoving flying ants in them and promptly dumped them into the uncomfortable doctor's hands.

"Doctor! We've got him!" The nurse checked John's pulse, even as the monitor beeped weakly.

"Alright, keep an eye on him, I'll be back as soon as possible." He turned and ran into a back room, and the infirmary was silent as the nurse went from patient to patient, keeping her eye on John the most.

Again, the heart monitor stopped, but in keeping up the chest pumps, the nurse managed to revive him. This time, the monitor kept beeping warningly, showing her his heart wasn't recovering as it should be. "Doctor…" She checked the tube in his throat and frowned. "Dr. Beckett!"

Carson rushed out of the room a few moments later with a syringe and injected it into the IV in John's arm. He watched the heart monitor warily even as the others all crowded around closely.

Everyone was watching John so carefully, no one seemed to notice that Elizabeth had entered the room. Her eyes widened at the warning tone of the heart monitor, and her face paled as she realized who was in the bed. She had to lean against the wall to keep from collapsing at the horror of what happened hit her.

Then, the monitor started beeping regularly and Carson let out a very loud sigh of relief. "That was too close!" He groaned, grabbing the nurse and rushing into the back room with her. "Help me prepare the antidotes for everyone else!"

"What happened?" Elizabeth's voice was so quiet in the room, but everyone turned to her in surprise.

**(Conference Room, Normal POV)**

"Only Lorne could be sent to grab a Christmas tree and come back with the alien equivalent of a nest of very nasty flying ants." John shuddered and scratched at his arm, glaring at anyone who dared to open their mouths about the welts all over his skin. "That seriously wasn't pleasant."

"Well, I gave him sentry duty over the tree as his team took it back to the planet." Elizabeth gave a bit of a look. "Of course, we made sure the bugs were all stunned, first, but I'm sure the…worry, is there."

Rodney remained quiet but nodded as he stared around the room. "What're we doing about the whole Christmas party idea?"

"We'll still have it." Elizabeth smiled, then winced as John cursed and began scratching his arms. "There just won't be a tree."

The conference was pretty quick, and a little less boring with John's colorful language as the itching of the healing hives got on his nerves. As they left the room, the team agreed to meet up at the party, and split up. John made a b-line to his room, and when he opened the door, he groaned in irritation.

"I should have expected this." He muttered as he walked into the room. He glared at his bed and began thinking of safe revenge plans as he took in the calamine lotion-covered bed in front of him. Each bottle had a tag. There was one from Rodney -the biggest one at that- one from Radek, one from Elizabeth; then there were several from some of his other friends… Then there were two strange bottles he didn't recognize, but he was pretty sure they were alien equivalents to calamine lotion. One was from Ronon, and another from Teyla.

With a sigh, John shook his head and went to his comfy chair, grabbing his copy of 'War and Peace' as he went.

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	42. Mini Me

Ok, so I went from Zalenka to Zelenka. It's been made aware to me that I was mistaken before, but my other chapters were already written. If you find one with the 'a', it was one of those chapters. I've gone and looked, but I can't guarantee I'll catch them all. - This is an older chapter, thus the note. It's a 'just in case' thing.

Ok, so this one is not so much whumpy, just an annoying day for John.

**Jasminesmommy** - No, John never lives anything down with Rodney and Ronon around to always bug him about it. LOL.

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - Thank you :) Well Elizabeth can be fairly quiet when she wants to be, like in 38 Minutes when Carson was recussitating John. I wanted to put emphasis on it.

**Debbie418uk2** - Gag gifts, huh? Don't you just love everyone's sense of humor? I was thinking more along the lines of alien bees, but then decided to change it up a little.

Happy Belated Holidays everyone!

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**(John's POV)**

"You rang?" I watched as Zelenka jumped and spun around, the tool he was holding clattering loudly to the ground of the empty lab. He muttered loudly a moment in another language, and from the look on his face, I was pretty sure he was swearing at me.

"You know, you really gotta teach me how to do that."

"Never mind." Shaking his head, Zelenka had the sense to blush a little and look sheepish as Rodney strolled into the room. "You are here now. McKay, Sheppard is here now."

"Yes, yes, yes, I see that." Nodding, Rodney paused at the foot of a large console and looked at the screen. "Colonel, if you'd be so kind, I'd like you to go over and stand next to that black obelisk."

I looked around and noticed the said object practically in the center of the room. This was an, until recently, abandoned laboratory and we had no idea of it's function. "What's it do?"

"I don't know, yet. We can't get it to power up, but these logs say it should respond to the gene, so if you'd go stand next to it, like I asked..." Turning to me a moment, Rodney raised an eyebrow. "We might be able to find out."

With a sigh, I nodded and walked over to stand next to the said obelisk. Not knowing what it did, I wasn't sure what to make of it, and didn't feel too comfortable standing too close to it. There were also all kinds of...roots, I think, coming from the bottom of it and lacing the floor. I was trying to be careful not to step on one or trip over one.

"You need to get closer."

"I'd really rather not, if it's all the same to you."

"Sheppard, we can't finish our tests if the machine won't power up."

"Ok, so get Carson down here. Aren't you always the one complaining about my 'mutant' gene that's always activating things??"

"That's what we want here."

"Oh, right." Pausing a moment, I stared at the obelisk, not entirely sure what to make of it. "You actually want me to touch this thing?" It was black, and seemed to have all kinds of ancient, and I mean really old, not Atlantis Ancient, writing all over it. The roots climbed up over the sides of the polished stone...or metal...whatever, and stopped before converging in the center, where there was a large blue stone. "As in _touch_, touch it?"

"Did I say I wanted you to touch it? No, that'll definitely activate whatever it does. I just want you to stand near it and see if you can just...." Rodney shrugged. "You know, turn it on."

"Maybe you should do this. You're the one that wants it on, right?" I raised an eyebrow and folded my arm over my chest, inching the tiniest bit closer to the obelisk. "So shouldn't you be the one to be effected by whatever it does?"

"Oh, ha, ha." He rolled his eyes. "For all I know it's some kind of matter reconfiguration device, or a transporter or something. It could turn me into anything, or transport me out into the ocean, or another time, or be some sort of massive warning system that blows up all of Atlantis."

"That's not comforting." _And he wants _me_ to do this?!_ I shuffled a little closer. Unfortunately, I wasn't paying attention to my feet at this moment, and my toe caught on an upright root. "Crap!" I called as I fell, instinctively raising my hands to break my fall. I felt my one hand connect with the side of the obelisk, and the other on the edge of the top, but nothing happened. As I straightened myself up, I frowned at it before turning to Rodney. "Ok, so that was...a waste of time."

Rodney's jaw was practically sweeping the ground and he quickly shut his mouth as he typed furiously on his computer. "I don't understand it. There was no power spike, it didn't turn on, nothing happened."

I raised my hand to shrug as I crossed my feet, and leaned on the obelisk. This time, however, I'd placed my hand in the center of it, and with a jolt, the room began to shake violently as the black stone began to hum and glow.

"What the hell?!" I jumped away from it, as the surface grew unbearably hot to the touch, and yelped as I felt my legs give out. My entire body tingled with an electrical current, and the last thing I remember before closing my eyes, was everything getting very big.

When I finally came too, I heard people talking over me and made a mental note to stop ending up in the infirmary so often. As I opened my eyes, I frowned a little, already feeling like something was wrong.

"Aww, hey there sweetie. Welcome back."

I felt my eyes widen as I looked at the nurse standing over me. She was a cute little redhead with blue eyes, and her long hair was up in a tight, high bun. She was also smiling down at me.

"Uh, hi." I smiled back. But hearing my voice, the smile was only about half formed when it faded. "What the hell?!" Instead of the usual drawl I'd long since gotten used to, it was now a higher pitched, almost child-like voice. I abruptly sat up, closing my eyes as a dizzy spell hit me and then opening them again to stare down at my body.

My much smaller body.

The nurse frowned a moment in disapproval. "Now, now. There's no need for language like that."

Staring at her with wide eyes, I looked past her to the rest of the infirmary, and spotted Carson walking into the room.

"Carson!" When he saw me sitting up, he smiled a little, albeit, uncomfortably, as he walked over. "What's going on?! What happened to me?"

"What do you remember, lad?" He asked in a softer voice then usual.

"Um, how about everything. The last thing I remember is touching that damn obelisk of Rodney's,"

Now he frowned, and he nodded. "Well, from what I can tell, you've been turned into a twelve year old version of yourself." The nurse gave him a confused look, and he sighed. "This is Colonel Sheppard, Jessica."

Her eyes went wide and she backed off quickly. "Oh! I'm sorry, sir!"

Shaking my head, I sighed, looking down at my now tiny hands. "It's, uh…. It's ok."

She turned and left with a nod, and Teyla, Ronon and Rodney chose that moment to show up.

"Oh, good. I was just about to call you." Carson sighed. "He still seems to have his memory, but now that he's in a much smaller body, someone is gonna have to look after him. He won't be able to reach the door sensors alone, for one, and I'm not sure how his ATA gene might have been effected." He paused and seemed to think about it. "He's still got his normal brain functions, so I would guess it won't be affected, but there's always a chance."

"Oh, no. I'm not doing babysitting duty!" Rodney backed up. "Besides, I gotta get the machine fixed so we can turn him back, right? I, uh, I can't do that with-"

"McKay." Glaring at him, I saw Teyla's lips twitch into a smile before she controlled herself, and I felt myself deflate a little, realizing it didn't have the same effect. "I'm not a kid."

Now Ronon openly grinned.

"Don't go there." I warned. "Doc, tell me I can go."

He sighed and looked at the others. "Well, there's really nothing physically wrong with you, besides this…new body of yours. Just be careful, and if you feel anything unusual, I want you to let me know."

I nodded and got up, ignoring the others, and all the stares as I walked out of the room. Once outside the door, I paused. I was dressed in a hospital gown, and only just realized there was nothing on Atlantis I'd be able to wear.

"John?"

Jumping a little, I turned and looked up at Teyla, feeling _very_ uncomfortable about how big she was, compared to me now.

"I have managed to get some clothes brought in front the mainland that I believe may fit you. Once we saw what had happened, I asked Elizabeth to send a jumper to get some clothes from Jinto."

Staring at her a moment, I slowly nodded. It was finally setting in that I was in the body of a child. Despite still having my mind, everything else was different. "Thanks…"

Nodding back, she smiled and gestured for me to follow her. We made our way to her room, where a large leather sack sat on her bed. Heading over to it, she opened it up and began pulling out several leather and cloth garments.

**(Later)**

Dressed in Athosian leather, I slowly made my way down the halls of Atlantis, finding out pretty quickly that I couldn't reach the sensors for the transporters. I also noticed that I was quickly becoming the center of attention, everywhere I went. People stared, I even heard whispers.

"Who's that?"

"Should he be here?"

"Isn't he adorable?"

"Is he Athosian?"

"Excuse me." Blinking, I turned to find Major Lorne behind me. "Should you be wandering around here? I mean, can I help you find someone?" He'd knelt down and was smiling at me. "Like maybe your parents?"

Raising an eyebrow, I turned and folded my arms over my chest. "Nice, Evan." He leaned back a little in surprise. "It's me, John Sheppard."

"Jo… Colonel?" His eyes narrowed in confusion. For a moment, he stared at me, as if unable to understand what I'd just said. His eyes darted around, and he raised his hand to tap at his ear piece, only to pause. He stared into my eyes before tapping his ear piece. "Colonel Sheppard?"

His voice came through my ear piece, and I tapped mine. "Major Lorne."

His eyes got really wide and he tapped his ear piece again. "Dr. Weir, I'm sorry to bother you, but have you seen any sign of Colonel Sheppard? …Ma'am?" I could hear her giggling as she struggled to speak clearly and explain the situation. "Oh. I…see."

"See?" I raised an eyebrow and grinned a little. "So I don't need a body guard just yet, Major. Thanks, though. It's nice to know you care." Laughing a little, I turned and walked off, continuing on my way to my room.

The walk was long, longer than usual because of my shorter legs. It was irritating, really, but I eventually made it. As I walked up to the door, I waved my arm to where the door sensor was, and frowned when I realized I was about two inches too short to reach. I stood on my tip toes, thankful no one was around, and reached up as high as I could, but still couldn't reach. "Oh, you've _gotta_ be kidding me!"

Frowning, I stared at the large, looming door and really high panel. I raised my hand to the ear piece and paused, thinking about how everyone would laugh, if they knew. Shaking my head, I looked around, and relieved that no one was coming, I turned and jumped as high as I could, with my hand up for the door. I still couldn't reach. It was like my hand was centimeters short. Jumping a few more times, I think I let out a fairly Ronon-like growl when nothing happened.

Hearing a sound, I turned and saw no one behind me. For a moment, I stared around, sure I heard someone laughing, but seeing no one, I sighed and shook my head before glaring at my door. "This is _so_ not fair!" Stalking off, I decided to find something else to do.

**(Later)**

Walking into the lunch room, I was kind of glad the door was open. After several attempts to open the door to my room and realizing I couldn't reach the door controls, I'd given up, refusing to call one of the others to open the door for me. Instead, I decided I'd check out some other places.

And here I am. The door was wide open, there were a few people sitting at several of the tables, and I made my way over to the line up, to get some food.

Unfortunately, when I got there, I couldn't reach the trays.

"Oh, come on." I groaned, shaking my head and sighing. Looking up at the counter, I watched as a young female marine behind me reached up and grabbed a plate of food, before holding it down to me. "Oh, uh…thanks." Taking it carefully, I watched her give me a slightly amused smile.

"Shouldn't you be with your parents?"

I stopped and stared at her as she passed me a bottle of juice. "Lieutenant?" Her face turned to one of confusion and I raised an eyebrow. "I guess no one said anything. I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard."

Laughing, she grabbed her tray and shook her head, kneeling at my side. "Ok, _sir_. You better eat quick before the lunch boom hits and you're trapped here squished between everyone." She grinned openly. "Here." Taking her fruit cup, she placed it on my tray. "There you go, cutie." Brushing her hand through my hair she got up and walked off.

_Cutie?!_ I wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed, angry, or what. Sure, I like having pretty girls paying attention to me, but this…isn't what I mean. "This is just _not_ my day." Tapping my ear piece, I walked over to one of the tables and began to glare at the height of it, which I could barely reach. "Elizabeth, remind me to make a request for children's tables, and lower door consoles."

There was a quick burst of laughter before it subsided. "John, if you're having problems, why didn't you ask anyone for help?"

"I can take care of myself."

"Right. That's why Ronon saw you jumping outside your bedroom door? You were just doing it for your health?"

"Ronon was there? And he didn't think to…" I shrugged as I climbed into my seat, and almost fell off it. "Damn! Ugh, he didn't think to offer to help?!"

"He said you looked like you didn't _want_ any help."

"Right. I probably didn't." _Plus he was probably laughing way too hard._ Looking over the food, I didn't feel any hunger, but I picked at the veggies. "Look, I called because I was wondering if Rodney made any progress."

"He'll call you when he does, and you know that." Elizabeth sounded highly amused. "Until then, tell me how your day's been going."

"The girls are treating me like a kid." I paused and looked down at myself before sighing. "Can't say I blame them. I can't reach the doors, none of the marines even pay attention to me… Hell, I can't even reach the food unless someone hands it down to me!"

"Did you get something to eat?"

"Yeah, a marine got me some. Then she proceeded to ignore the fact that I told her I was Colonel Sheppard, and called me 'cutie'."

Again Elizabeth laughed, and I felt my face heat up. Poking at my food, I ate a little, while talking to her. Then, two female marines came over. Pausing in mid sentence, I watched as they smiled at me.

"Isn't he cute!?"

"Awww, he's such a sweetie!"

"John?" Elizabeth sounded like she was choking on her laughter. "What's going on?"

"Hey sweetie, where's your parents?"

My eyes narrowed as I stared at them. Sighing loudly, I lowered my head. "Just more marines coming over to _coo_ at me, Elizabeth. Not much." I answered out loud, my hand next to my ear piece as I stared at the girls with a raised eyebrow. _Just my luck. I'm stuck in the body of a kid, and all the cute girls are paying attention to me now._

Suddenly, my ear piece beeped, and I heard Rodney's voice. "Sheppard, we managed to figure out how the machine works, and I'm about ready to turn you back."

"Finally!" I called, jumping out of my seat. Pausing a moment, I turned and nodded my head at the girls. "Ladies." Giving them my most charming smile, I turned and ran out of the lunch room, ignoring the giggles that followed me.

**(Briefing Room)**

"So, I hear you had a pretty…interesting day." Rodney was grinning broadly. "You know, if you want, I can always change you back."

Glaring at him, I forced a smile and raised an eyebrow. "Thanks but no thanks."

"Are you sure, John? You were pretty adorable, with your shaggy black hair and green eyes. Hey, even the Athosian leathers suited you."

"Probably why I had a number of people wondering if I got lost, and where my parents were." I threw back. "I liked longer hair, at that age."

Ronon now had to throw his two cents in, too. "You were pretty skinny as a kid, weren't you?"

"Gee, I dunno, I never thought about it." Staring at everyone, I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Rodney, tell me you got rid of that machine, _please_."

He nodded with a chuckle. "Don't worry, it's been powered down completely. There's no chance of using it at the moment, and we're in the process of dismantling it for spare parts." He glanced at Zelenka. "Carefully, too. We're taking every precaution to make sure no one else gets…miniaturized."

"Nice way to put it." I muttered.

"Alright everyone. Let's just leave this for now. Rodney, continue taking the machine apart. The rest of you, I want you to read over the latest mission report, you ship out early tomorrow morning. It's late now, so take it easy. Dismissed." Elizabeth stood up from the table and walked over to the wall panel. Swiping her hand, she grinned over her shoulder at me before walking through the opening door.

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Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	43. Hello Mr Twinkle 1

Personally, I think this should be in a story called John's Really Bad Weeks, but, oh well...

**Sakurablue13** - Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

**Jasminesmommy** - I know. For Rodney, it's John telling him he's safe and he gets hurt. For John, it's Rodney.

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - Ah, but remember that not all people would be able to tell just how old he is. He might appear younger to some. LOL. Well, that was my first and only attempt at a kid shot, so... LOL

**Debbie418uk2** - True. I wasn't really thinking of that, to be honest. As for shortnes... Hm, I didn't think about it, really. Here's one that's longer. A two-parter. :P

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Unless she just didn't want people teasing the Colonel about being such a shortie. LOL Or maybe she wanted them to tease him. Hm, you never know. Ah, well, this was an older chapter, and I _was_ spelling Zelenka with an 'a', so it was just in case I made the mistake.

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**(Normal POV)**

So Rodney had managed to create a macro that was able to expand the shield around Atlantis, just a little, without using a lot more power from the ZPM, and had once again opened up a previously unexplored section. And once again, this section included about half a dozen unexplored labs. Most had been destroyed by the time they spent submerged under water, but one still seemed operational.

Which of course Rodney _had_ to explore. And, of course, he _had_ to take the rest of the team along.

_Ok, so it's not like a lot of us are complaining._ John thought in boredom as he wandered through the powerless door that had been stuck open. Flashing the light of his P90 around the lab, he sighed quietly. _Two weeks of less-than-interesting off world missions, except maybe the one with the cute little Queen, and no, I don't mean Harmony. Not even a run in with Wraith, Genii, Wraith or Genii sympathizers, or alien bugs..._ Shuddering at the last thought, John focused on scanning the room. "Clear!"

The others entered the room warily, and Rodney quickly made his way past them and to the closest console. Typing on it briefly, his face was set seriously as he pulled his computer pad out. "Hmm, this is strange. There's no power running through any of these systems. Hang on, I'm gonna run a diagnostic."

With a curt nod, John turned back to his own explorations. Knowing Rodney, those scans could take hours. Hours he could be spending watching movies and drinking beer. He grimaced. _Oh, right. Finished off the new movies and my supply of beer last night. New shipment doesn't arrive 'till next week._ On second thought... He waved his P90 around and walked over to one of the powerless consoles.

There was a beep from Rodney's computer. "Ok, so there doesn't seem to be any problems with the systems here, it looks like the power was just shut off."

"Then maybe we should leave it off." Ronon suggested with a raised eyebrow. "Was probably turned off for a reason."

"Yes, or maybe it was just to conserve power." Tapping the computer, he held up a hand. "It looks like the controls here don't take much power. I'm gonna reroute a little power from one of the naqueda generators to see if I can figure...out..." He was tapping away and trailed off for a moment before tapping a final key and raising his hand again, in triumph. "There! Got it."

"So, what was this lab here for?" John asked as he stared down at the console in front of him. There was an image of a human body, but the only part highlighted was the brain. _Hmm, odd._ Just then the console lit up and he almost jumped in surprise. The body remained a blue lined outline, but the image of the grain lit up and flickered.

"It looks like some kind of sleep study lab, or something." Rodney mumbled absently.

Staring at the screen in front of him, John didn't even realize he'd reached out to touch it until he felt an electric jolt run through his hand, from his finger. "Ow!" Talk about a shock!

"What?? What did you do?!"

Spinning in place, John shook his hand and his head. "Nothing. I zapped myself on the console."

Rodney rolled his eyes at this. "Colonel, how many times do I have to ask-"

"'Would you please not touch anything?!'" It was John's turn to roll his eyes. "Relax, Rodney. It wasn't a button, and I didn't fry the computer."

"No, you don't understand. You don't have to touch a _button_ to activate one of these machines." He pointed to the several consoles in exasperation. "All you need is the gene and to touch one of the screens." He touched one of them and a pile of text appeared in front of him. Rodney scowled. "Oh, great. It's in Ancient."

"Ok." Looking to the others, John saw Teyla and Ronon standing by the door, looking bored out of their minds. Turning back to Rodney, he nodded. "So we'll just get Elizabeth to come translate it, then."

"Look, I don't even know if _she'll _be able to translate it. There's a lot here, and it seems more complex than usual." Pursing his lips in thought, he grabbed his computer tablet and plugged it into the console in front of him. "I'm gonna download it, it worse comes to worse, I guess I can always ask Dr. Jackson."

"Yeah, right. You just wanna see Colonel Carter again." John muttered under his breath as he made his way to the door. "Fine. Just hurry up and let's go."

**(Day 2)**

Making his way to the mess hall, John yawned widely, politely covering his gaping mouth with his hand and waving absently at a couple of marines who giggled at him as he walked by. He was exhausted! Having failed at sleep last night, he ended up in the gym doing training exercises, and back in bed, only to fail again. John ran a hand through his hair for the umpteenth time, wondering why he hadn't bothered to comb it, but then shrugged it off. As he entered the room, the first thing he noticed was the almost intoxicating aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

_Yes!_ Walking forward briskly, he dodged a couple of people, grabbed a large mug and poured himself a mug of coffee. Leaving it black, he turned and gazed out over the room until his eyes landed on Elizabeth. Seeing no one else he knew well enough to join on a whim, John made his way over to her and plopped down across the table from her, taking a large sip from the coffee.

Elizabeth looked up from a small pad she was looking at and stared at him in confusion for a moment, before a grin quirked at the edges of her mouth. "Um, John? Going casual today?"

"Huh?" He stared back in confusion.

Raising her eyebrow, she leaned forward and openly ran her eyes down over his chest, to where his body disappeared behind the table, and back to his eyes, then up to his hair and back.

Raising a hand self-consciously, John felt at his hair gingerly and frowned at how it felt more mussed than usual. "Oh, I didn't feel like combing my hair first thing this morning." He muttered absently, not even realizing what he was saying. Taking another large gulp of his coffee, he made a face as it stung at his throat.

"Hmm, and the panda t-shirt?"

_Panda..._ John's eyes slowly widened as he looked down. Sure enough, he'd walked to the mess hall in his Pajamas, a black pair of jogging pants with white vertical stripes down the legs, and a black t-shirt with a white panda head outlined on the chest. Not to mention he was barefoot. Funny how he'd failed to notice that before. "Oh...." Looking up again, he noticed everyone staring at him and swallowed heavily. "Crap!"

**(Day 3)**

"Hey, Carson." Irritated, and struggling to wake straight, despite things fading in and out of focus at times from being so exhausted, John strolled into the infirmary with a deep frown. Ok, sure he'd gone basically 48 hours without sleep before, but he usually didn't have upcoming off world missions, the next day, and briefings that same day to look forward to.

It had taken him until now to finally report his sleeplessness to anyone because he felt it was pretty much nothing unusual. Just a bout of insomnia that was sure to fade soon. At least, that's what he thought it was. Although... Explaining his P.J. day yesterday had been fun, and Elizabeth's blatant amusement wasn't making it any easier.

Seeing the look, the pale face and the dark circles under the Colonel's eyes, Carson's almost jovial expression turned grim. "What's wrong, lad?"

"Can't sleep." He stated with a shrug and sigh. "This is the second night now. I'm exhausted, but I can't seem to fall asleep." He rubbed at his hand absently.

With a nod and frown, Carson led him over to one of the beds and patted it in a sign he should hop up. "Have a seat and let me have a look at you."

Hopping up on the bed, John clenched his eyes closed as he was hit with a sudden dizzy spell. Opening his eyes, he stared almost transfixed, as everything in the room, and hell, even the _room itself_ spun in front of his eyes. He stared, puzzled, as an upside down Carson walked towards him, and closed his eyes, rubbing them while they were closed, before reopening them.

Everything was still kind of spinning, but not nearly as bad, and at least Carson was upright this time. "I think it's just the stress, doc."

Carson snorted in a very undoctorly way. "Stress of what, lad? No mission?"

Pausing for a moment, John thought about that. "It _is_ possible. You know me, I like my action."

"Alright." Checking his eyes, Carson shone a light in them and frowned a moment before checking his throat. He took a vial of blood for analysis, and ran blood pressure.

John took this all in stride, starting to get irritated when the room stopped spinning, only to reverse and start spinning the other way. Things were kind of blurry and indistinct, and Carson's voice sounded like it was coming from really far away. Then, a small jolt in his hand almost made him jump, and everything refocused. Everything turned back to normal, even the room _finally_ decided to stop spinning, completely.

"Hm, well, besides being a little low on iron, everything seems to be alright." Dr. Beckett looked up from a pad he was looking at, as he walked back into the room. "Any ideas as to the cause? Or any other symptoms?"

"Nothing that I know of." Frowning for a moment, John turned his gaze down to his hand. "Though... While we were checking out that lab, the day before yesterday, I touched one of the machines and got a bit of a jolt." Scratching at the small red patch on the back of the said hand, he forced himself to stop. "Now, every time I try to fall asleep, the only times I seem to get close, a jolt runs through my hand and I wake right up again. Haven't been able to sleep since that day, so far."

Walking over, Carson took John's hand and raised it a little, looking at the red patch. "Did you tell Rodney about this? He knows more about those damned contraptions than I do, certainly. All I can tell is you need to stop scratching."

"Right, doc. No, I didn't tell him."

"I think you should."

"'K, I'll do that now, then, I guess."

"No, you should get something to eat. Your body was slightly low on some essential nutrients. It's not dangerous now, but I don't want you putting eating on the backburner."

"Doc?" Checking his watch, John raised an eyebrow. "Its 7:30am, Rodney's bound to be in the mess hall by now."

"Oh." Nodding briefly, Carson waved him off. "Right. His second coffee break, already. Alright, off you go, then."

John waved before hopping down and leaving the infirmary, making his way immediately to the mess hall, and only staggering twice. The room had begun to spin again, as he entered it, and he stopped, closing his eyes and leaning against the door frame as he took a deep breath. _Ok, I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to put up with this._ He thought darkly as he opened his eyes, and upon being able to see clearly again, walked further in.

Rodney was at the team's usual table, alone. He was always an early one, as it made getting freshly brewed coffee easier on the caffeine-dependant scientist. Teyla and Ronon would probably join him in about twenty minutes, and usually, John was only a few minutes behind them. In this case, he was earlier, and he wondered if anyone would notice.

Grabbing one of the biggest mugs set aside for senior staff, John poured himself a hot, black coffee and waltzed over to Rodney. As he sat down, his mind drifted to a song that was stuck in his head, and his body _almost_ began swaying to it. _Sit, sit, sit!_ He wasn't a public dancer, especially at this time in the morning! _Damn, I _really_ need sleep!_

"Colonel? Oh, you're early this morning." Rodney barely bit back a yawn and typed away on his computer. "But that's good, I guess. I just got the results of the translation back."

"Hummm?" John also yawned, and took a big drink of his coffee.

"The Translation?" McKay was starting to sound irritated, but didn't bother glancing up from his computer and finding out why his CO seemed out of it this morning. "Elizabeth was able to get a small part of it, but we dialed earth and sent the rest through to Dr. Jackson. He managed to finish it up late last night, and it was sent back first thing this morning."

"Oh."

Now Rodney _did_ look up. "'Oh'? That's it?" Frowning for a moment, he studied John's face and raised an eyebrow, his look almost turning concerned. "John, are you ok? You look like death warmed over."

"Thanks, Rodney." Giving him a dry grin, John took another sip at his coffee before thinking of his answer. "Remember that machine I touched in the lab?"

McKay's eyes went vague, showing he was trying to recall it and having difficulty. After a moment, they widened. "Oh, tell me you didn't activate something!"

"I don't knooooooowwww..." Blushing as that yawn caught him off guard, John waved off the look in Rodney's face. "I don't know. I just know I haven't been able to sleep for one minute, since. And every time I come close, I get a jolt in my hand, like I did when I touched the machine."

Pushing his breakfast, which was almost gone by this point, aside, Rodney pulled his computer tablet over and began typing. "Oh, this isn't good. This isn't good at all. Tell me, Colonel, do you recall the theory that humans can't go longer than seven days without sleep, before going insane?"

John paused, the half empty coffee cup by his lips. "Rodney..."

"Well, it's an old earth theory. Humans need sleep, seven days without it and pretty much everyone can be proven clinically insane. They hallucinate, can get irrational, are snappy-"

"Oh, basically you on a good day." John grinned pointedly at Rodney's glare before sighing. "Ok, yes, I know the theory. I also know at least one man was able to prove it false."

Now it was Rodney's turn to pause. "How did you...? Never mind." Shaking his head, he tapped on the screen of his computer tablet. "It looks like this machine was meant to test human reactions to the lack of sleep. The jolt gives a slight start to the body, and keeps it going, when someone is about to fall asleep. Uh-oh..."

John's eyes narrowed. "Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"Probably because you shouldn't." Rodney was typing on his computer, his eyes focused on and scanning the screen in front of him. "According to records, only five percent of the people tested were able to last any longer than seven days, and most of them lost it at ten."

"Rodney, I've been without sleep for two days. I'm already having problems, and we have a mission tomorrow. I'd _really_ like to have a good night's rest before then, ok? Do you think you can reverse the effects?"

"No."

Eyes widening for a moment, they quickly narrowed again and John raised an eyebrow. "What the hell do you mean, 'no'?!" He almost shouted. Realizing how loud he was being, he looked around and noticed a few people staring in confusion, but as he stared at them, they quickly turned away. _Hm, being Colonel does have its advantages._ He thought smugly as he turned back to Rodney.

"I mean there don't seem to be any algorithms to reverse the effect of the machine." Rodney was frowning and glaring at the screen. "It looks like there's some work done on a reversal process, but it just trails off, not really sure why."

John nodded with a look that clearly stated he didn't give a rat's ass. "Look, _can_ you set up some sort of reversal program by tonight?"

"Do you have any idea how difficult this will be?!" Rodney was already typing away. "I'll need about a month!"

"You don't _have_ a month."

"I-I..." He looked about ready to slam his computer tablet into the table, but then seemed to think better of it. "Ok, I _might_ be able to get it done in about a week."

"Rodney."

"Let me see! I need to read over this, first, before I can even _begin_ to work on reversing the process!"

The two of them sat together silently, John wondering if he decided to pester Rodney, if it would make him move faster, and Rodney focusing deeply on the work at hand. Ronon and Teyla came in and joined them, and they chatted normally, neither John or Rodney thinking to explain why the Colonel looked like hell, or why Rodney was so immersed in his work so early in the morning.

Hell, it was _Rodney_. Being so immersed was probably normal.

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Hope you like it, another two parter.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	44. Hello Mr Twinkle 2

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**(Day 4, John's POV)**

When I woke up that morning, I basically said 'forget this' and lay back down. Ok, so what I said was a little more vulgar, but it doesn't need repeating right now. Another sleepless night, broken periodically by the sharp jolt in my hand, whenever I _was_ tempted to fall asleep. And today was worse than yesterday, because I now also had a headache, nausea, and the beyond irritated feeling that if one person said one wrong thing to me, I was going to shoot them.

Still, I couldn't help but frown as I rolled on to my side. _Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?_

On my dresser next to my bed, my radio beeped, and when I looked over, I noticed with a confused frown that my watch wasn't where I'd lain it. Sitting up slowly, I stopped and closed my eyes as a dizzy spell washed over me. Once I felt it had passed, I opened my eyes again, and reached for my radio.

That's about when I noticed my watch lying on the floor next to the opposite wall, beeping quietly.

_Oh, alarm. Must have thrown it._ I thought hazily as I put my ear piece in and sighed before tapping it. "'Lo'?" Blinking blearily, I struggled to focus on the room. "Yeah? I…" Eyes widening, I shot up fully straight and nearly fell over with a groan as the room spun and everything went black. After a moment, I glared into thin air as the insistent voice called to me from the other side. "'M here."

Getting up slowly, I spoke to Elizabeth, who'd called me because I was late reporting for the mission. Apparently both Carson and Rodney had spoken to her, and she was postponing the mission until this was resolved. I tried to argue with her, but when I slipped up and called her 'mom'… Well, I don't think that sailed too far. I also don't think she was too thrilled, either.

So here I am, getting dressed and ready to go rip Rodney a new one. Carson I could understand, after all, I _did_ go to him, but Rodney too? I thought he didn't even know what the full effects of the machine were, yet, or something!

"Just 'cause 'M tired, doesn't mean I can't go on a mission." I was yanking on my boots with my eyes closed, trying to ignore the dizzy spells that came over me. "Damn! Why'd I have to call her 'mom'?!" _Oh, I'm gonna pay for that one later!_

Once I was ready, I beat a hasty exit out of the room and towards the mess hall, knowing Rodney would be in there for this third cup of coffee. After all, it was only 11:00am. People stared at me like I was insane, as I passed, and some actually stopped and called to ask me if I was alright. I didn't even bother answering. I made it to the mess hall and sat down across from Rodney, fully intending to think about how to word it before I said a word.

"What were you thinking?!" I hissed, instead, almost embarrassed at how childish it sounded. "God, why'd you have to tell her?!"

It was Rodney's turn to look at me like I was insane. "Uh… What are you talking about, Colonel?"

"You told her about the deep seprivation!" Realizing my slip, I felt my face heat up and glared as Rodney began to smirk. "Deep Sep… Sleep se..." Letting my head fall to the table with a thud, I thought about the words I wanted to say a few times, before lifting it again. "Lack of sleep." I stated, instead, cursing my stubborn tongue.

Chuckling quietly, Rodney sighed. "Look, I've figured out how they managed to set the machine up to keep you from sleeping, and I'm already working on a reversal program, but it's gonna take a while to complete. Even geniuses need time."

I raised an eyebrow and snatched his still full and untouched coffee cup.

"Wha-Hey!"

Taking a big gulp, I glared at him. "Until you fix this, you're gonna have to put up with me stealing pretty much as much of your coffee as I can get my hands on." I told him simply. "Not to mention, I'll be on your ass constantly." Getting up, I kept the mug with me as I left the room, knowing that, that alone would be a good incentive, if not to get me to leave him alone, then to keep his precious coffee safe.

Making my way back to my room, I sat on the bed, relaxing as the coffee took effect… Yeah, I know, I'm weird like that. The energy rush was helping me to relax. Either way, I grabbed my computer and loaded the series of Scary Movies on it before setting them to play one after another.

Hey! I had to keep busy _somehow_! It's not like they were going to let me go on missions in my state, obviously, and everything else I basically did here could also be handled by Major Evan Lorne.

_Lorne's a good guy._ I thought, randomly. _I should put in a recommendation for a promotion, or something. Elizabeth would be all on board for that._ Getting lost in my thoughts, and ignoring the movie that was playing, I didn't even notice as the first one ended and the second one started.

**(Day 5)**

"Wow, I haven't seen _you_ in ages!" Staring across my room with wide eyes, I wasn't sure if I should be worried, amused, or just go with it. The kid in me wanted to go with it, and with all the sleep deprivation, that kid was getting pretty damn strong. "Um, you shouldn't be here." Funny enough, I wasn't as exhausted or dizzy as I was before. I felt strangely energized, despite another sleepless night.

And... Kind of strange, too. Maybe it had something to do with my...unexpected visitor.

"Oh come on. You want me here. I wouldn't be here, otherwise."

"You're here because I _want_ you here?" Raising an eyebrow, I crossed my legs under my blanket and leaned back against my headboard. "Really? I haven't seen you since I was ten. Why would I suddenly wanna see you now, after all these years?"

"Maybe it's subconscious."

"Oh, god! Don't tell me I'm gonna pull a Rodney and daydream about.. Wait. He daydreamed about his dream girl, and I get _you_?! That's _so_ not fair!" Frowning, I sighed and tapped my radio. "Rodney! Tell me you have something!" I didn't mean for my voice to sound so harsh, but this was really starting to creep me out.

"John…. Don't be that way…"

"Shut up! I don't wanna hear it! I wasn't talking to you." My eyes widened a moment and I shook my head. "No, Rodney. I _was_ talking to you. No, I wasn't talking to you just now." Shaking my head, I glared at the figure across my room and mouthed 'See what you did?'. "Rodney… Rodney! I wasn't talking to you when I said I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to you…" _Wow, I just confused myself._ Pausing for a moment, I wanted to grin when, perhaps surprisingly, Rodney didn't have a comeback. "McKay, _do you have anything?_"

"John. I just got here, don't tell me you want me to go, already? Come on, we used to be so close."

"That was _years_ ago." I hissed out, blanching as Rodney asked me what the hell I was talking about. "I wasn't talking to you." Closing my eyes, I rubbed the bridge of my nose as a headache began to form. "No, this time I _was_-RODNEY!"

"You were Rodney?"

Glaring at the form across the room, I wished to god I could shoot it, right about now.

"Aww, that's mean."

"Do you mind not doing that? It's just plain freaky. And I'm not talking to you this time, Rodney. ...Trust me, you wouldn't know them. ...No, seriously, you _wouldn't_ know them. ...Status, McKay, don't make me ask again, or I'll come right down there and see for myself." I waited for a moment, holding up my hand to silence the comment I knew was coming from my room mate at the moment. "So….you're telling me at least another day, yet." Rodney got into his griping about constantly being bored. "McKay, put _everything_ else aside and focus on this, or pretty soon, you're gonna have an insane shadow by the name of John Sheppard, got it? I _will_ haunt you! Sheppard out." Tapping my radio off again, I snapped my gaze back to the other occupant of the room.

"So… What should we talk about? Hmm… How about how cute-"

"No." I interrupted it and glared at it.

Oh, yeah, people are probably wondering what I'm talking about. Well, right about now, I'm pretty sure I'm hallucinating. You see, across the room from me is a big stuffed teddy bear. And no, I'm not talking puppy sized, or the big novelty ones you win at fairs. I'm talking man-sized. It's brown, has a black bow around its neck, and was staring at me with deep brown, glass eyes.

"Why are you so mean to me? We used to be best friends." It's widely stretched arms bobbed a little and its head ducked a little. It's mouth didn't move, but it's voice came out as clearly as if it had. "_Best_, best friends."

_Really freaky. _"You were my imaginary friend." I muttered darkly. "One I got rid of when I was still a kid."

"Nope, I've always been here."

Getting up from my bed, I looked around for my clothes and began to change. "Look, I'd love to stay and chat…" _Ok, so no I wouldn't…_ "But I'm really busy."

"You just don't wanna chat…" I swear the voice sounded pouty.

Spinning in place, getting a dizzy spell, and toppling back onto my bed, I closed my eyes and grimaced. "I thought I told you not to do that!" Once I could see clearly again, and the bear had turned upright, damn spinning rooms, I finished getting dressed in a hurry and left the room. _Anything_ was better than dealing with this!

**(Day 6, Normal POV)**

"Rodney…"

"Not yet."

"Rodney…"

"I _said_, not yet."

"McKay…"

"JOHN!" Spinning in place, Rodney glared at John with a look that could make paint peel off walls. "What?!"

"Why're you…." Giggling a little, John sat cross legged on the floor. "Wearing a pink tutu?" His eyes were glazed, his face pale, and he was leaning back in the corner of the room, using the walls to keep himself more or less upright. He was also once again in his panda pjs, too, since he hadn't bothered to get dressed today.

Looking down at himself slowly, Rodney raised an eyebrow before turning back to his work, just as slowly. "O…k…" He wasn't wearing a pink tutu, and he really had to wonder why, out of all things, John saw him _wearing that_. "Listen, I need to get this work done, ok?"

"Not my fault you're so slow."

"Hey!" Spinning back around, Rodney raised a hand and pointed at John. "I am _not_ slow! It's you who took so long coming to me about the sleeplessness, and there's a lot of work here, and I'd get more done if I wasn't constantly being interrupted! I'd like to see _you_ try and get this done in less than a week!"

John shrugged and grinned. "Ok." He made as if to get up, when Rodney held up a hand and groaned.

"Metaphorically! Sit down, I don't need you messing things up."

"Hey! I coulda gotten into MENSA too you know! I'm not a total idiot!" John yawned loudly and stretched before leaning back against the wall.

"No, some parts are missing." Rodney mumbled under his breath as he turned back to his work. "But you sure could pass for one, right about now."

Frowning behind him, John rolled his eyes and curled up in the corner. "Mr. Twinkle says you're mean. I think he's right, you are mean Why are you so mean? Oh, Mr. Twinkle thinks you need to get laid."

Stopping typing, Rodney thought about all that for a moment and wasn't sure if he was meant to be amused, freaked, or worried. "John?"

"Mmm?" Came the sleepy response.

"Um, who's Mr. Twinkle?" Now a grin was tugging at the corner of the said scientist's mouth, sure there was one hell of a story behind this all. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could get some ammunition to get John to stop calling him 'Meredith' now and then.

"He's right behind you."

Jumping in surprise, Rodney spun around and stared in confusion when there didn't seem to be anyone there. "Ok, that wasn't funny."

"Say hello, Mr. Twinkle." John opened his glazed eyes and grinned a little at Rodney. "He says hello, by the way." Yawning again, he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. "'M tired."

Realizing John had to be in bad shape, Rodney turned back to his work and entered the last few lines of the equation quickly. Checking over it, he made minor corrections and checked the estimated result on the test on the computer. "Well, everything seems to be working." He ran a few quick simulations, and when they all turned out positively, he turned back to the Colonel. "John? I think we're about ready."

John didn't move. His hand jolted a little, as if he'd been shocked, but his eyes didn't flicker or open and he didn't make a sound.

"John?" Walking over briskly, he knelt down next to his friend and checked his pulse. "Slow and steady. Hey, don't tell me you fell asleep!" Realizing how that would sound, Rodney raised an eyebrow and rethought his choice of words. "I mean, it's a good thing you fell asleep, but why now, of all times?? Why make me go through-" When there wasn't even the tiniest hint of being heard, Rodney's eyes widened and he tapped his radio. "Carson! It's Rodney, we've got a problem!"

**(Later, Day 6)**

After having filled Carson in on the situation, the doctor, one of his nurses, Teyla and Ronon rushed to the lab to find John curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, breathing deeply. After checking his bio signs, Carson sighed and gestured for his nurse to call a team and get a gurney.

"It seems the Colonel may have fallen into a coma. How many days without sleep is this now?" Carson was frowning deeply looking directly at Rodney.

Staring back in worry, Rodney sighed. "Six, closer to seven. He's gonna need to get on the machine now. He was acting weird, but I just pushed it off as him being, well… Overly tired, you know?" Getting up, he walked over to the machine and turned it on. "Here." He pushed a chair over to the same console John had touched almost a week earlier. "Sit him in the chair, and drop his hand _lightly_ on the panel. It should automatically reverse the process. Just make sure not to be touching any part of him or the panel until after I shut off the power supply to it. If you do, you'll be infected."

Ronon didn't even wait for further instruction. Picking up John, he frowned for a moment and exchanged a glance with Teyla. "He's lighter than usual."

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in the mess hall for a few days, other than when he came to talk to me, and he only ever had coffee. _My_ coffee at that." Rodney put in with a frown.

Walking over to the chair, Ronon carefully sat John in it, careful to make sure not one part of him was touching the console. Once he was set up, Ronon took John's hand, held it above the panel by a few inches, backed away and dropped the hand.

Instantly, a visible shock went through the limb and Rodney began typing.

"I think it worked!" Typing on the panel in front of him, he nodded after a moment, and the panel John was touching powered down with a hum. "Ok!"

Carson rushed over with Teyla at his side, just as a gurney was rushed in with two more nurses. Checking his pulse, Beckett frowned. "His pulse is weak. Turning to Ronon, he gestured him over. "Give me a hand, lad." Together, they lifted the Colonel's body on to the gurney and hurried off, Carson shouting orders to his nurses as they went.

As they left, Ronon turned to Rodney and glared at him. "Get rid of that thing." He growled, gesturing to the console that had been powered down.

Already ahead of him, Rodney was rerouting power to keep away from this room, and set up programs to make sure no one would ever be able to access it without a special password, then he made sure they'd need at least three of them to get use of this lab, ever again.

**(Mess Hall, Two Days Later)**

John was sitting at the team's usual table with a glass of milk in front of him, as well as a turkey sandwich. Yawning a little, he stared almost blankly into the glass as Rodney, Teyla and Ronon approached.

"John? It is late. Why are you still awake?" Teyla sat next to him and nudged him with her arm.

Looking at her, he blinked a moment. "Hungry." Was all he said.

"This from the man with an _untouched_ turkey sandwich in front of him??" Rodney's eyes were impossibly wide. "Well, if you're not gonna…" He made as if to reach over, but before he could, John grabbed the sandwich, growled and took a big bite.

Chewing thoughtfully and trying not to grin at Rodney's white face as he counted his fingers, as well as Ronon and Teyla's laughter, John took a moment to finish his bite and speak up. "Like I said, hungry. I was just thinking, Rodney, that's all."

"Don't ever get between John and a turkey sandwich." Ronon stated with a raised eyebrow and grin.

Rodney nodded and lowered his hands. "Yeah, because he gets like you." Ignoring Ronon's glare, he raised his own eyebrow. "So… Do I dare ask what you're thinking about? Wouldn't happen to do with a 'Mr. Twinkle', now, would it?"

John was about to take a drink, but paused and flushed as the others looked at Rodney curiously. "Rodney…" He looked about ready to say something, but then seemed to think better of it. "Sorry, _Mer_, I don't know _what_ you're talking about." Taking a drink of his milk, he picked up his turkey sandwich again and took another bite, thoroughly enjoying how Ronon and Teyla prodded McKay about 'Mr. Twinkle' and denying any knowledge of it, when they turned to him.

From the glare on Rodney's face, John knew this wasn't over by a long shot, but after finishing his sandwich, he bid fare well to his friends and left the mess hall, beating a hasty retreat to his room for some well deserved rest.

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Hope you like it, another two parter.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	45. Birds of a Feather Flock Together

**Puddle-Jumper38** - What can I say? McKay should know better than to pick on John, since the 'Meredith' bit. LOL. I was going for weird and funny, so...

**Debbie418uk2** - LOL Random, hmm? A man-sized teddy bear, invisible best friend. It made me giggle, and wasn't too whumpy, which is what I was going for. :) Poor Elizabeth. The 'mom' comment just came to mind out of nowhere. He's going to pay for that, I'm sure.

**Jasminesmommy** - Yes, John has a habit of doing it to himself.... LOL, Random, I know.

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - Well, I have a habit of relying on crossovers with existing shows/games/movies/etc, but I do like to try and think of somewhat more original ideas whenever I can. I'll take whatever my muse sees fit to give.

I might make referances to a 'fountain of youth' in more than one chapter (I distinctly recall a story that focuses on a Fountain of Youth), this is just a heads up.

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**(P9X-112, Normal POV)**

"So, why exactly are we here?" John pushed his sunglasses up his nose, hoisted his P90 higher and looked around the large grassy field his team were in. They were standing on the top of a hill, and it seemed directly in the center of the field. The gate had been situated about ten foot out in the large ocean, and they were lucky when they stepped through, that the water was only ankle deep, and didn't seen to have any negative side effects. "P9X-112 didn't have too much stated about it, right? Nothing about advanced civilizations or amazing power sources, either."

"No, but there was brief mention about a spring of some kind with the ability to reverse aging."

Stopping his started trek down the hill, John turned to Rodney with one eyebrow raised behind his sunglasses. "As in a fountain of youth?"

Shrugging a little, Rodney looked at his pad before looking back up. "Yeah, more or less."

"…Cool." Turning back around, John kept walking. He looked around as they went and noticed that besides behind abundant in wildlife, there really wasn't much to see. A big field with the occasional boulder and long, green grass, and the edges of the field on one side were lined by thick, dense forest, and the other side with ocean. All in all, "This place is kinda nice. Quiet, peaceful… Nice spot for a vacation."

"Yeah…" Rodney also looked around, his eyes landing on the hoards of birds. "If you don't mind the Dodo wannabes, or the cousins to the Blue-Footed Boobies." He raised an eyebrow and looked up. "Huh, they're practically everywhere."

"Well, it's their home planet, Rodney. We're just gonna have to put up with them, aren't we?" Stepping along, John did notice the ground was littered with droppings and made a bit of a face as he went. "Any particular direction as to where this fountain of youth is located?"

Looking at his pad silently, Rodney held up one hand and turned in a half circle before pointing towards the woods. "That way."

"Alright." John altered his path and began heading in that direction. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed Teyla talking quietly with Ronon, who was eyeing the birds like they were his next feast. "Ronon, don't even think about it. The last thing we need is those hoards of birds chasing us all the way back to the gate. Besides… I told you to eat before we left." Turning back with a grin, he continued on the way, knowing Ronon would be practically glowering at his back, even if it was just a playful glower.

It didn't take them too long to get to the woods, as they didn't run into any obstacles. Rodney was of course complaining about stepping in a fresh pile of bird crap, but everyone played it off as they entered the darkened forest and looked around. The trees were thick, and the trunks were encircled with red vines. They were close together and so thick, they blocked out a lot of the already faint light, making the woods dark enough to make it hard to see.

"Oh this is just _great_!" Rodney groaned as he climbed over a fallen log and stumbled on with the group.

John stayed quiet as he walked along. He noticed there was the sounds of birds chirping, but not much else, not even a wind through the trees. Soon enough, he did manage to pick up the distant sound of water trickling and wandered on ahead, finding a small creek of crystal blue water flowing through it. "Huh, looks like any other spring to me." He mused out loud, aware of the others approaching.

Rodney scanned it and frowned a little at the results. "The readings don't show anything unusual." Bending down, he carefully got a sample, using a small container he'd brought with him, taking heed not to get any on him. Once he was done, he turned and shrugged. "Well, that wasn't so bad. Surprisingly, one mission went off without a hitch."

John raised an eyebrow at him before turning. "Famous last words, McKay. Don't count your chickens until their hatched, remember?"

"In this case, wouldn't it be Dodos and Boobies?" Everyone stared at McKay for his words and he shrugged as his face went red. "Uh, never mind." Wiping his face, he trudged on behind the others, almost sighing in relief when they exited the dense, _hot_ forest. Suddenly, he felt something hit him on the side of the head and ooze down his ear. It was hot, slimy feeling and just plain _wrong_. Stopping cold, his jaw dropped. "WHAT THE HELL?!" Exploding in anger, he grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped at the side of his head, groaning in annoyance and disgust when he pulled it away to see clear evidence of bird feces.

Everyone had spun at his cry, and stared at him in shock, even as the nearby birds all began squawking angrily and flying around in a frenzy, circling the group. Well, ok, not _all_ the birds were flying. The little Dodo-wannabes were running around in a chaotic mess. John frowned as he watched the birds circle and ignored them a moment as he turned to McKay. "What's with the yelling??"

"One of those-those…" Rodney took a deep breath and sighed noisily. "One of those _birds_ crapped on me!"

Behind his sunglasses, John's eyes widened a little at the remaining evidence. Namely the big white stain with the smaller brown smear under it, stuck on the side of the scientist's head. "Oh, really? That's what that is." He gestured to Rodney's head, vaguely, struggling to remain serious and not bust up laughing.

Suddenly, there was a loud screech, and everyone looked up as three of the birds broke off and swooped low over the group, in multiple directions.

"Damn! Duck!"

"More like Dodo!" Rodney cried as he ducked under the small but clearly pissed off bird that flew at his head. "Or, booby... Whatever! Hey! Don't get mad at me, you're the one who dropped one on my head!" He cried, burying his head in his hands.

The group turned and ran through the field, trying to duck the incoming birds as they went, and playing hopscotch with the little butterballs on the ground. Finally, after the third booby bounced off Ronon's back, he'd had enough and turned, firing his blaster at them and taking down two.

"Ronon!"

"It's set to stun!" The big Satedan called back.

Unfortunately, this only served to piss the birds off even more and a massive hoard of them began circling the group as they ran, constantly dive bombing them. Teyla was the first to make it back to the gate and began dialling, even as she tried to duck the incoming attacks. Ronon took her back, watching for the birds and blasting as many as he could. Dozens of birds were on the ground, either stunned from the blaster, or from hitting the big Satedan on the way, but yet hundreds more were still circling the group as Teyla was hit in the back of the head.

It hadn't hurt her, but as she was hitting the last chevron, it pushed her forward, making her hit the wrong one and the center button at the same time. The gate kawooshed as the wormhole formed, but she grabbed John before he could reach for his radio. "Wait!" She ducked a dodo with John. "I hit the wrong button!"

"Damn!" That meant they had up to 38 minutes to duck boobies. "Ok, run for it! We'll head to the forest!" John gestured to the woods a short distance away, hoping that everyone would get the signal and that the woods would provide some shelter. Feeling a pain in the back of his head, he fell forward a step with the force and grunted a little. Reaching back even as he turned, he noticed a booby swaying a little on the ground, half on top of a dodo, and pulled his hand away to reveal a trace of blood. "Great!"

The group ran towards the woods, only Ronon firing on the birds, as he had the only weapon that wouldn't instantly kill them if they were hit. More birds dropped, but by now some of the earlier stunned ones, who'd been stunned by hitting Ronon, were back in the air, even angrier than before. Not only were the threats in the air, but running along the ground after the team were hoards of dodos, glaring angrily down their long, skinny beaks and squeaking as they ran.

"Geez! Think their rabid?!" Rodney called, managing to keep up with John.

Looking over his shoulder, John glared, the full effect in effect since he'd lost his sunglasses. "Oh, I hope not, or you're gonna be in a whole lotta trouble."

"_Me?!_"

"You just _had_ to go and yell and freak those damn birds out!" Shaking his head, John stumbled as a weight hit his back and he heard material tearing. Managing to make it to the forest line, he ducked behind a tree and took a moment to take a deep breath as the others ran in as well. Looking around he took into notice that the birds were still circling. There were a lot of dense bushes surrounding the forest edge, so at least it would hamper the dodos, but it wouldn't stop the boobies...

"Oh, crap!" Surprisingly, it had been Rodney who said it, as he looked up. "We got company!"

The birds had been working their way in through the canopy, and were still circling the group. One broke away and dive bombed Rodney again, but the said scientist managed to duck in time and the bird smacked head first into the tree behind him.

John choked on his laughter when instead of sliding down the tree dead or stunned, the bird stuck to it by the beak, squawking angrily and flapping it's wings as it tried to get away. His laughter was cut short, however, when he felt something brush through his hair and felt wind brush past his ears. "Hey!" Ducking, he raised his hand and swatted wildly, hitting a warm feathered body and sending it flying. Standing up, he quickly ran a little further into the forest and tried to find a place to hide. These birds were getting annoying, but he wasn't into murdering helpless fowl.

He could hear the others fighting, too, and heard their angry words as they struggled to get the birds off them. It seemed everyone's nerves were fraying, even peaceful Teyla who was ever the calm voice of reason, looked ready to shoot the next booby to get tangled in her hair.

Actually, scratch that, three out of the four of them were getting annoyed. Ronon was firing away with his blaster, looking like he was having a grand old time.

Despite still being attacked, John figured it was at least a little better in here. Less of the birds were after them, and at least they had more obstacles to hide behind. The same couldn't be said out in the open, even if the gate was there.

"I say we hold our position!" Ronon took down another two birds.

Staring at him a moment, John raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that by the time you stun them all, the first ones you stunned will be awake again." Shaking his head, he sighed. "No can do, buddy. We gotta get back." Not to mention the squawking was giving him the mother of all headaches, and the back of his head burned.

Rodney, for the most part, was relatively unhurt, besides having that stain on the side of his head from the crapping, but it didn't stop him from complaining. The others just tuned him out as they fought not to get pecked to death.

Finally, after getting numerous cuts and bruises, Teyla's watch beeped and she looked to the others. "I set it for 38 minutes. The gate should have shut down by now."

Their nerves were long gone, and as cruel as it might have seemed, they had all pulled out their guns when it was clear the birds weren't about to let up. The feathered fiends seemed completely determined to peck them to death.

The clearing was full of bodies, some stunned, some dead, and most of the birds had gone, but there was no guarantee it would stay that way if they left the woods.

"Ok, but we need a plan. If we all go out there, the same thing will probably happen again. We need to split up. Teyla, you go dial the gate and take Rodney with you. Ronon and I will lure the birds away."

With a nod, Teyla took Rodney's arm and led him away from John and Ronon, despite the scientist insisting they'd be easier targets split up.

Turning to Ronon, John sighed and checked his P90 before switching it to rapid fire mode. "Ok, we gotta keep those bird-brains off their asses long enough for Teyla to dial the gate. After that we'll join them and head back, got it?"

Ronon merely grinned and shrugged, raising his blaster as he turned and followed the others back out of the woods. Following him, John raised his P90 as they broke cover and stared at the sky literally filled with birds, not to mention the dodo-covered ground. If they thought the amount before was bad, there were at least three times as many now. Talk about a warzone! Boobies and dodos as far as the eye could see!

"Oh, crap! It looks like they invited their friends and family!"

"All you can eat buffet?" Ronon grunted as he raised his blaster and hit one of the circling birds.

"Ronon!" John stared in shock, all thought of being a diversion fully wiped from his mind as the bird dropped, followed immediately by two more. _Damn he's got fast reflexes._

"What? I thought we were going to draw them to us?"

"Oh. Right." John began firing in the air, not trying to hit the birds, but just randomly firing in order to get their attention. It worked. Practically the entire massive swarm turned in their direction, and John felt his eyes widen as they began flying and running in their direction, practically as one.

Hearing the gate kawoosh, he turned and watched as the gate stabilized. Seeing Rodney waving at them before hitting his radio, he almost let out a sigh. Right before being pelted in the side of the head by an incoming booby he didn't see, then hit by a dodo in the ankle. Reeling from the blows, he staggered a step sideways and blinked in surprise as a red blaster blast went by his ear. "Whoa! Ronon, careful!" He raised his hand and ran it over the side of his head carefully. "That was a little too close!"

Ronon only shrugged before making a break for the gate, with John close on his heels. They managed to make it back to Atlantis, without even stopping, but unfortunately a few of the birds managed to get through with them. Ordering a few of the marines to get stunners, John grabbed Elizabeth's arm, ushering her out of the gate room and up to the control room, as a few of the marines scattered and tried to catch the crazy birds.

"What the hell's going on?!" Elizabeth's eyes were wide as she stared at John. "You're bleeding!"

He put a hand to his neck where one of the birds had managed to skim him and raised a little blood. "Yeah, well, I've had worse. It's a long story, and Rodney can tell you all about it later."

"Rodney?"

"Yeah. Well, it was his yelling that started all this." He sighed. "You know what they say, birds of a feather, flock together." Grinning a little, John raised an eyebrow at Elizabeth. "He called them Dodo wannabes and relatives of the Blue-Footed Boobies." Turning, John groaned and checked out in the hall. Seeing it was clear, and two marines were heading to the gate room with stunners, with Ronon at their side, wielding his blaster, the Colonel ducked out of the room and made a mad dash towards the infirmary.

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Hope you like it.

All incidental innuendos/puns/general plays on words were totally and completely incidental. I just didn't feel like changing the story around when I noticed them. LOL.

Written October 24, 2008

R+R please.

Thank you

Tenshi


	46. Swords Hurt

**Disclaimer**: Veralee, java juice, and 'The Wishing Stone II' belong to **Debbie418uk2**. I don't own anything, and Stargate Atlantis belongs to whomever has the millions to buy it.

**Note** : As stated in the disclaimer, this chapter is a tag to **Debbie418uk2**'s Rodney's Really Bad Days, chapter 48, 'The Wishing Stone II'. (Sorry for posting it so late :P)

**Legend** :

"talking"

_Thoughts_

_"Rodney's typed messages"_

_**"Computer speaking"**_

**Shadows-of-Realm** - Thank you. I have about a dozen left, I think. My muse for SGA is all but gone (Twilight stole it), but I still have a few chapters to go. LOL, No, but it's a funny dream. LOL.

**Debbie418uk2** - Nope. It was all because Rodney's yelling startled and upset them. Oh yeah, if I got crapped on the head (it happened to my mom once), I'd have been yelling, too. LOL. This one is a really old tag to one of your chapters.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Nope, just a little bit different, hm? I was trying to go for random and out of the ordinary (or what passes for ordinary, when dealing with SGA)

**Jasminesmommy** - LOL. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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**(John's POV)**

Ok, so right about now I was feeling like an ass. Sure, I got the one thing people often wished for; silence from McKay, but I'd never actually intended to mute him. When Veralee pointed out what I'd done, I felt horrible. When she pointed out the stone was a gift from her _fourth_ husband, _out of eleven_, I felt worse.

I had to admit, it was nice to be able to think on my own, without constant interruptions from Rodney, but the quiet was really disconcerting, and I found myself often checking to see if he was still there.

_"I'm here."_ He typed, after about the fourth time of checking. "_You don't need to keep looking, where else would I be? Having a nice chat with Elizabeth? Oh, wait, that would require the __use of my voice__!"_

"Ok, ok, I get it!" Sighing, I looked back to my java juice, and frowned. "So the wishing stone grants wishes permanently, it's rare to come by, and the only way to reverse the wish…" I paused for dramatic effect, and bit back the grin when Rodney smacked my arm. Hard. "Hey! I was just kidding!" I turned to look at the dull red stone I'd accidentally used to mute Rodney.

And all because he interrupted me from hitting on Veralee.

_"We __ARE__ going to get one!"_ He typed, glaring at me with a look that actually scared me a little.

"I know! Trust me, buddy, we'll get one." Gathering up the map Veralee had given us, I got a couple water canteens, just as backup, and we made our way to the jumper.

Of course, Veralee had followed us the whole way, smiling at me with such an…adoring look. I was actually starting to curse my luck. Pretty girl who's an ancient, pretty girl who's a space pirate of sorts, pretty girl who ascends shortly after getting together with me. Now a pretty girl with _eleven_ husbands, seemingly looking for number twelve.

Notice a pattern?

As we boarded the jumper, Rodney went ahead and took the co-pilot seat, and I stopped to look and offer a weak smile to Veralee, who was smiling at me with a confident look. Finally, as I closed the jumper hatch and joined Rodney in the cockpit, I glared at him as he gestured to her and grinned. "You don't have to rub it in, Rodney. I'm sorry. Let's go and fix this."

**(In the Jumper)**

I figured the drive wouldn't take long. I sort of was and was not right about that. It took about half an hour to really figure out the alien map, without Veralee pointing everything out, and then I had to set the coordinates.

It didn't help that Rodney was fiddling away with his computer. I figured he was doing one of his usual experiments or something useful. So imagine my surprise when his computer starts to speak!

You know, like those weird computers people use to speak for them? Only this was a regular computer tablet that Rodney must have modified to have the same function.

Something told me this ride would be annoying as hell.

_**"So, John…"**_

Jumping a little, I turned and narrowed my eyes as Rodney, having a feeling I wasn't going to like this. "Yes?"

_**"…Are we there yet?"**_

Rodney began to grin, even as my own eyes narrowed. _Trust Rodney to figure out how to be annoying without having to speak a word._ "No, Rodney, it'll be a little while."

He nodded, the grin never once fading from his face as he turned the computer towards him and typed a bit before looking out the window. The jumper was nice and quiet for a few moments and I figured that he might have reconsidered whatever it was he was planning on doing.

_**"…Are we there yet?"**_

_Then again, maybe not. _I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "No, Rodney."

About five minutes later. _**"…Are we there yet?"**_

"Rodney…" Sliding my eyes over to him, I let the warning look cross my face. "No, not yet." I wondered if I could get away with tossing his computer tablet out of the jumper. Probably not.

Another five minutes later. _**"…Are we there yet?"**_

Spinning to glare at him, I let out a growl that surprised even me. "Rodney!"

I watched as he laughed silently in his seat, before waving his hand in a manner that indicated he'd stop. Typing on his computer, he turned to me and showed me the screen that showed he'd deleted the program. Then he typed some more. _"Wasn't really me, anyways."_

"No. No, it wasn't." I admitted softly, smiling a little. Checking the monitors, I nodded to myself before looking over. "_Now_ we're here." I stated with a fully blown grin as Rodney chuckled silently again.

**(The Pyramid)**

You know, when you hear about a pyramid, you automatically think stone blocks, right? Massive, made of stone and the entrance probably covered with hieroglyphics. At least, that's with _I_ thought. This was nothing like that. Well, Rodney seemed sure it was made out of stone, but not the yellowed kind. This stuff was kind of glassy and really shone in the sun.

I used the podium, which activated with my gene, and got us in the pyramid. Walking down a long hallway of stone that shimmered with a golden light, we soon entered a large square room with a single machine in the center. Rodney took a look at it before shrugging as he turned to me and mouthing '_I don't know_'.

Looking at it a moment, I sighed and shook my head before walking up to it. "Well, we don't really have much of a choice." Placing my hand firmly on the machine, I watched as with a flash of golden light, everything faded away and Rodney and I stood in the center of a large area.

_What the hell?!_ Our weapons were gone! Instead, I held a shield on one arm and a short sword in the other hand. Looking to Rodney I saw that he held a short spear in one hand and a similar shield in the other. He must have sensed my look, because he looked back at me, clearly afraid. "This doesn't look good."

Suddenly, two gladiators appeared across from us, each carrying similar weapons to us, except that one held a trident instead of a short spear. They slowly stalked forward, towards us, separating as they chose which of us to take on. The man with the sword came in my direction, as the one with the trident went in Rodney's direction. _Damn!_

This really _wasn't_ good. I could take on one of these guys, but my attention was split between my attacker, and Rodney's fight. I knew he wasn't the best with a gun, but a spear was a whole other type of weapon all together, and required your enemy be up close and personal. To say I was worried about him was an understatement.

Seeing the sword coming my way, out of the corner of my eye, I turned and raised the shield quickly, almost stumbling as the weight came bearing down. As it was, my arm shook, and I took a step back instinctively. _Crap! Stronger than he looks._ The battle went on fruitlessly for a while. Neither Rodney nor myself were able to gain ground against our attackers.

I then heard the sound of clattering, and turned to find Rodney's spear going flying. Rodney was pushed back blow after blow, and I spun quickly, being reminded of my own opponent. Pushing him back with my own attack, I spun once again to find Rodney on the ground and his opponent raising his trident and preparing for the fatal blow.

I didn't even think about myself, or the opponent doubtlessly coming after me again. All I could think of was to help Rodney. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd rushed over and stuck my sword through the gladiator's back, watching as he stiffened up before falling over.

Rodney stared at the fallen body in horrified shock, unblinking. Then, he turned to me, and his eyes widened even more. His mouth opened to say something, but that's when I felt a blinding agony and a pressure sliding though my abdomen, moving upward through my chest.

I couldn't even scream, as I felt my body thrust forward with the jolt, and remain unmoving. It was agonizing, a sense of burning fire rushing through every part of my body. I felt the sense of something sliding as my legs gave out, and my mind blurrily put things together. The other opponent. The sword.

Everything was fuzzy. My mouth was open, and I was gasping for breath.

It wasn't working.

I fell over, and watched fuzzily as a spear flew through the air. It didn't even really register. The only thing on my mind was that I couldn't breathe. I kept trying. I could feel the air flowing into my body, but it wasn't making it through. Things hurt worse and worse, and got darker all the time. Something was running down my face.

Rodney was there. He was kneeling over me, his mouth working helplessly. I think I was able to make out my name on his lips, but that's about it. His hands moved, but they didn't touch me. I saw them hovering over me as he stared at me in terror.

I was cold. I couldn't breathe. I hurt.

Finally, I felt a touch to the back of my head. Funny how even the slight lifting hurt like hell. I wanted to scream, but didn't have the strength to do much but groan in agony, as I gasped again. Seeing Rodney closed his eyes, his face screwed up with grief, I tried to smile. "Well, buddy…" Choking a little, I had the distinct taste of blood in my mouth. My lungs screamed for the air they weren't getting. "I'm sorry. ….We had some good….times, though."

He kept muttering to himself, and I began to think it was starting to get really annoying that I couldn't talk to him. I wanted to hear what he was saying. I could make out 'no' over and over, and something about this not happening. Frowning, I wanted to say something, but instead, another gasp and choke escaped me.

**(Normal POV)**

John's eyes were glazed, as he struggled to stay focused and stare _at_ Rodney. He knew that look. He knew Rodney was blaming himself. As he opened his mouth, another choke escaped and more blood trickled down his chin. His skin was ghastly pale, and the puddle of blood underneath him was growing steadily.

Rodney's eyes were filled with tears and it was almost impossible to see through them. He saw John gasping futilely, his eyes glazing over more, but he was struggling to stay conscious. Suddenly, he looked up as a golden light appeared. A single man with fair hair and golden tanned skin appeared, towering over them. He wore a loose toga with a large golden clasp at the shoulder.

"You may state your wish now. What is your desire?"

Rodney struggled to speak, wanting John to be healed. He wanted so badly to scream when no sound came out, and a single tear borne of frustration and grief soared through him when nothing echoed forth. Wiping it away furiously, he stared at John, trying to communicate his desires through his eyes. _Come on, John. Ask for a stone for yourself. Come on._

John wasn't looking at him, though. "A wishing…stone." He gasped weakly, his chest not moving as much as it did before. Even the bleeding had slowed. "I want a….wishing stone for my….friend." His eyes closed almost completely and his chest nearly stopped rising. He was still bleeding, but it was so very little.

Shaking his head, Rodney carefully grabbed John's face and leaned forward. _"No!"_ He silently screamed at John, getting desperate when his eyes didn't open. _"No! Help yourself…!"_ He felt the warmth of a gaze on him, and looked up to find the man staring at him strangely compassionately.

"You passed the trial. Because you did not ask for yourself, but for your friend, you may indeed have a wishing stone…and healing, too." The man flashed brightly and disappeared, and Rodney stared down at John as the injured area also glowed with a golden light. As the light faded, it showed that where the injury had been, was fully healed.

If it wasn't for the ruined shirt and pool of blood, it looked like John was never injured at all. Not even a scar!

He had to remember to close his mouth as John's eyes snapped open and he slowly sat up, gingerly touching the area where the wound had been. Raising his left hand, he opened it to find a small black stone in his palm. His eyes widened a moment and he reached out, grabbing Rodney's collar. "Before I mess this up…" Despite still feeling somewhat weak, he focused on the rock. "I wish for your voice to be restored to normal, Rodney." The stone glowed briefly before turning a dull red, and he dropped it on the ground.

Once he let go of Rodney's shirt, the said scientist sat back and breathed the biggest sigh of relief he'd ever breathed. "Oh my god!" _That was so close, too close! I can't believe…_ Not daring to finish that thought, he again looked at John's ripped shirt, realizing just what lengths they'd gone to, just to get his voice back. The arena faded, and the regular room replaced it. Looking to John, he sat back. "What just happened?"

"I'm not sure." Dusting off his shirt, John took a deep breath and visibly relaxed as he looked around. Checking out his ruined shirt, he winced. "Let's go home, huh?"

Grinning a little, Rodney stood up. "You don't want to go back and see Veralee?" Now that the horrible part was over, he felt strangely giddy. It was probably just his nerves.

Standing up, John finished dusting himself off before looking over at the grinning Rodney. "You know, I really don't want to be number twelve."

As they made their way to the exit, the scientist raised an eyebrow and regarded his friend. "So you've learned your lesson?"

"For now."

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A lot of the quotes are also property of **Debbie418uk2**.

Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	47. Fountain of Youth

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - LOL, there's quite a few tags.

**Shadows-of-Realm** - Thank you. Yeah, I want to keep this story going, but with my muse bouncing around the way it is, it's hard to keep up. LOL. I have several Twilight stories out, most of which are one-shots. I'm working on multi-chapter fics, but with my muse bouncing around... I've got over a dozen ideas started and by the time I get a good start on a story, my muse changes...again. LOL.

**Debbie418uk2** - LOL, sorry. I try to keep the tags near the time you post your chapters, so they're close together, but I think I forgot about a few. LOL. The talking computer. Yeah, I figured Rodney would find a way to be annoying. I do enjoy giving a different perspective for a story, it's fun to see 'another' side of it, you know?

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Sounds like fun. I just used it as a way to make Rodney annoying. LOL. And I figured he'd get a kick out of it, too. The Gladiators belong to Debbie418uk2, a unique twist, hm?

**Jasminesmommy** - Perhaps, but if the stone grants one wish, _any_ wish... Well, I _still_ wouldn't fight Gladiators for it, but then, this was John doing it for Rodney.

**Note**: This one is probably going to be more straight forward and fast. Sorry, my muse for this chapter wasn't too strong and I struggled all the way through it. This is not one of my better chapters. :S

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**(John's POV)**

"Oh, Rodney? Drop it." Staring at him firmly, I raised an eyebrow and looked around. "We're in the middle of a desert. Where the _hell_ are you getting readings of water at all, and why the hell would you think it's a fountain of youth?"

"Here." He held over a data pad with a screen filled with ancient scribbles.

"Wow, it...makes so much sense." I rolled my eyes and glared pointedly at Rodney. "How about in English for those of us that _aren't_ fluent in Ancient?" Ok, so I was being a bit nasty, but this heat and dry weather were starting to get to me.

He pointed to a section that reshaped to form a map with two blinking spots. One was yellow. "That's us." Rodney pointed to it as if I didn't notice it blinking there. "And that's where the fabled Fountain of Youth is supposed to be." He pointed to a blue spot some distance away. "This planet was recorded to have people well into their hundreds of year old. The Ancients didn't understand it, because their physiology was so similar, and their days and years all the same length. Then it seems it was revealed to them. There's not a whole lot on it, of course."

"Of course." Ronon shook his head and sighed, brushing the sweat off his forehead.

Giving him a little smile, Teyla finished tying her hair back and continued on over another sand dune, leading us in the direction Rodney seemed to think this fountain was. She, out of all of us, was the most patient, despite the overwhelming heat.

"I still don't see why _we_ had to come check it out." Groaning, I followed after her, keeping one ear on Rodney's explanation of the whole Fountain of Youth. "Is this another false lead, like the one to the bird planet?"

"Well, it seems that one of the younger people at the age of 59 had allowed themselves to revert to their natural selves. It was almost instantaneous, and the difference was remarkable. He'd turned and left the hut, and came back five minutes later with a skin of clear water from the well in the center of the village, and looking 25 again.

Frowning for a moment, I wondered how these people dealt with such long lives. "Wait, it never lasted?"

"Colonel?"

Turning, I paused and stared at Rodney. "What kind of Fountain of Youth makes it that you gotta keep drinking the water to stay young?" I groaned and rolled my eyes. "I'm fairly certain this is _not_ gonna be worth the trip."

"We don't know that. Maybe this man had an incurable disease." Rodney scrolled through the information, walking ahead.

Following after him, I kept an eye on the distant village. "Yeah, it's called 'Aging', and we've all got it."

"Oh, ha, ha. Hum, looks like one of their scientists went missing on the mission, and even during a search, there was no sign of her." Rodney frowned and put the pad away. "They never found her."

"That's not exactly reassuring."

"Relax, remember that this was ten thousand years ago. Unless the fountain really does work..." Rodney trailed off as we finally made it into the village.

The buildings were old and wooden and looked pretty ragged. The hot wind blew dust across the ground, and a strange purple, round weed blew across the ground. One three eyed, two tailed cat ran through the empty square, but that was about it.

"Huh, kinda reminds me of an old western movie." I looked around and noticed a few skeletons lying on the ground, looking long decayed. They wore tattered remains of leather outfits that were dyed purple and black. "Uh, McKay? You might wanna check that Fountain of Youth theory of yours." I gestured to the bodies. "They're looking a little...old, to me."

Rodney's jaw dropped and he pressed a few buttons on the hand-held Ancient scanner he'd pulled out of his pocket. "I don't understand this... Wait, I'm picking up a signal" He looked around. "I'm trying to pinpoint it, but there's some sort of interference."

Looking around, I walked over to a large, once extravagant fountain in the town's square, and looked down it. "Well, if this well was full once, it's sure not anymore." The well was bone dry. At least, as far as I could see. Shining my P90 light down, I frowned and winced. "Hey, Rodney, were you serious about people drinking from this well??"

"Yeah, what do you think?" He was still looking at his scanner, every now and then tweaking something.

"Oh, nasty." I looked over the bottom of the well and frowned as something hit me. "I think I found the remains of the ancient woman who disappeared."

He stopped his tweaking and stared at me as I looked up. Then he hesitantly walked over. "What makes you think...oh my god!"

There were several skeletons at the bottom of the well. Some were wearing similar leather outfits to the skeletons on the ground around town, and some were wearing cloth variations. But near the top of the pile was one with long silver hair on parts of it's head, and long white robes. "Well, the fact that those robes look familiar..." I left off, leaving Rodney staring in shock at the sight before him. "Maybe we should head back."

"Wait, wait!" Rodney pulled away from the well and held up his scanner. "What about that signal? Maybe someone's still here and can tell us what happened."

"Or maybe it's a trap, or maybe we don't wanna know what happened." Sighing, I looked at Teyla. "Do you sense anything?" Don't ask me why, but this all reeked of Wraith presence.

Frowning for a moment, Teyla's eyes narrowed and she looked around. After a moment, she shook her head and focused back on us. "There is something. It is very faint, and somehow different from the Wraith, but I do sense a presence of some sort."

"Ok, it's official. I don't like this." Standing with my back to the well, I raised my P90. "Where's that reading coming from, Rodney?"

He frowned and tweaked the scanner again before looking up and pointing. "It's coming from over there." He was pointing to a small alleyway.

"Ok, Ronon, you're with me. Teyla, stay here with Rodney." Taking a few steps forward, I kept my P90 up as I began heading towards the alley. "We're just gonna check it out."

The trip to the alley took longer than I would have liked, and it made me painfully aware of how far we were from any sort of cover, if we came under fire. Once we made it to the alley, I paused and looked around. There were a few crates, and a few barrels. Behind one of the barrels...

"Um, hello?"

A young woman was bending over a fairly fresh looking skeleton with a frown. She wore a long, loose-fitting leather skirt, and a long-sleeved leather top that covered all but a fair amount of cleavage and her midsection. She had long blonde hair and when she turned to us, striking black eyes.

"Who are you?!" Her voice was husky and I struggled not to shiver at the sound of it. "I thought everyone was dead."

Frowning for a moment, I realized she was talking about the other bodies. "Uh, well, we're not from around here." I looked at the skeleton. "What were you doing?" The skeleton was definitely newer, looking more like a mummy than anything else, and it wore similar leathers to the woman, but was more obviously male.

Hesitating for a moment, she slowly stood up. "He was....my brother. Everyone in the village has been falling sick of late, and we have no idea what it is."

"Maybe because your well dried up?" I mused out loud.

"How do you know of our well?"

"Records, where we come from, state your well had....healing properties of sorts."

"So you came... To use our water? Heal your sick, perhaps?" She didn't seem to happy, but also didn't appear too threatened. "I'm sorry to say that, as you have stated, the water has dried up."

Nodding a little, I lowered my P90. "We just came to explore. You say your people have been dying of a sickness? Uh...you don't look sick." She looked anything but.

Smiling, albeit sadly, she looked down at the skeleton. "I am. It's only a matter of time before I end up like this, too."

"Maybe not." I looked to Ronon and gestured for him to head back to the others. "We have...people, where I come from, who may be able to help you."

"I sincerely doubt that." She watched as Ronon hesitantly left the alley. Once we were alone, she walked forward a little ways. "I think I'm the only one left."

I nodded and lowered my P90 all together. "You might be, I saw a lot of bodies. I can't say for sure. Let's head back to the others, then we can talk about this more."

With a deep frown, she looked to the skeleton. "He's been like that for six hours. This....disease takes action every ten. It will not be long-"

"Then we should hurry."

She sat down on a nearby crate and shook her head. "There is nothing you can do. This is us, our people."

"It's a sickness."

"No. We have dealt with this for thousands of years."

I stared at her a moment, not really sure what to say or do. Part of me knew I shouldn't get too close. Teyla had said she picked up a presence, even if it was different from the Wraith, this girl could be a threat. Then again, she seemed so sad... Giving in to the urge, I walked over and sat beside her. "What do you mean you've been dealing with it for thousands of years..? Your people had this for a long time...?"

"No, I, along with the others have dealt with this for thousands of years."

_Whoa! Waitaminute!_ Blinking at her a moment, I felt my eyes narrow. "You can't be that old!"

She smiled at me and laughed a little, a light blush staining her cheeks. "I am over seven thousand years old."

I gaped, not really sure what to say. There were a lot of things that came to mind, and 'aging well' was one of them, but then I remembered the well. "Wait, but I thought you needed to regularly drink from the well to stay young."

Now she laughed out right, but it was a bitter laugh. "The well? No, the well had little to do with it, besides to save the lives of a few people."

"But then....how are you able to stay young...?" I began to get a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach and tightened my grip on the handle of my P90.

Looking to me, I noticed her face was beginning to pale, and her hair had lost some of the luster it had. Her eyes had turned old and tired, and she sighed. "You really don't want to know, please believe me."

I shook my head. "No, you believe me, I do wanna know."

She stared into my eyes, and I felt that cold feeling grow. Her expression ranged from fearful, to regretful, to pained and desperate, and back, as if she couldn't decide how to feel. Her hair was turning grey, right before my eyes, and her skin loosening and wrinkling. Even as she stared at me, her eyes narrowed and turned determined and I felt something behind me. Before I could move, I felt a hand tightening on the back of my head, and she lunged forward, crushing her lips to mine.

**(With the others, Normal POV)**

"Careful!" Rodney stared down the opening of the well as Ronon dug through the remains of the bodies.

Glaring up at him, the huge Satedan sighed. "Why am I doing this, again?"

"I'm certain there's something in the water, and the only way to find out why it's not running is the source. I wasn't about to go down there with those...those..." He gestured to the bodies and grimaced.

"Fine." Ronon got back to digging, having found a gated entrance point. Looking through it, he frowned and used a pen light to peer into the darkness. "There's a little water back here, but it's not high enough to get over this block..." He pointed to a metal dam of sorts. Pulling out the water skin Rodney had given him, Ronon reached carefully past the bars and dipped it in, holding it under long enough to fill it. Then he carefully pulled his arm back out and capped the bottle.

In doing so, he caught sight of his arm and froze. "You might be right about the water, McKay." He stared at the smooth skin and ran his fingers over where he'd cut himself on a jagged stone. The area was completely healed.

Rodney held on to the rope which was securely tied to a stone pillar across the top of the well, as Ronon climbed back up. Frowning for a minute, he stared at the part that acted like a fountain which seemed to run into this well. _Same water source, probably._ He didn't give it too much thought.

As Ronon pulled himself over the edge, he looked around and his eyes narrowed. "Where's Sheppard?"

Everyone turned to the alley, knowing that John should have rejoined them by now. It had been over half an hour since Ronon had left him in the alley with the girl.

Tapping his radio, Rodney rolled his eyes. "Hey Casanova, are you about done flirting? We've got a sample of the water, and we're about ready to head back if you are."

Instead of a comeback, like he'd been expecting, Rodney got nothing but silence and frowned as he exchanged a look with the others.

"Colonel?"

When they still received no answer, they grabbed their weapons and ran to the alley that he'd last been seen in. As they rushed into the cramped space, they noticed two bodies on the ground, and no sign of the said woman that Ronon had explained to them, earlier. One was a skeleton in leathers, the same one Ronon had seen earlier. The other...

"J....John?!" Teyla's eyes had gone wide.

Rodney's jaw dropped in horror as he took in the second unmoving figure. "It-It-It can't be!" Taking a step forward, he watched as the said figure moved weakly and he dropped to his knees beside it. "Sheppard..?"

John's hair was white as snow, as was his wrinkled face. His eyes were barely open, and he was wheezing harshly for breath. He still wore his uniform, his hands clutching tightly to his P90, but clearly not having the strength to do anything else. What was a forty-two year old man was now obviously in his eighties or nineties.

"Oh, this is _not_ good!" Rodney looked around wildly before pulling out his scanner. "I'm not picking up that other signal."

Teyla frowned. "I did not sense a Wraith presence."

Opening his eyes a little more, John's one hand weakly reached up towards her. "No....Not a....Wraith..." He coughed and winced in pain, his other hand dropping his P90 to reach to his chest.

"The girl!" Ronon raised his blaster and spun down both sides of the alley, looking for any signs of movement.

"How can that be?" Teyla held her P90 and carefully kept an eye out before turning back to John with a worried frown.

"I don't get it myself." Rodney watched as John's face screwed up in pain and his hand tightened over his heart. "Oh, god! I think he's having a heart attack!" Looking around frantically, Rodney snapped his fingers. "Someone's gotta go back to the gate and get Carson, now!"

Ronon watched as John weakly curled up into a ball, his breathing coming in pained gasps and clutching at his chest. Suddenly, something hit him. "McKay, the water!"

Rodney looked up dumbly, not sure what he was getting at. Looking at the water skin, he pulled it from where it was hanging at his side, and held it up to Ronon. "You can't tell me you're thirsty, now!"

Shaking his head, Ronon grabbed the bottle and unscrewed the cap. Bending down, he carefully took the back of John's head and tilted it back a little. As John opened his mouth to gasp, Ronon waited until the right second and poured the contents into his mouth, wincing as John spluttered and coughed.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Rodney screamed, leaning forward and making as if to grab Ronon's arm.

Laying John's head back down, Ronon shot Rodney one of his usual glares, and almost blinked in surprise when Rodney ignored him, grabbing the water skin and trying to tug it from his hands. "McKay..." He growled, pushing Rodney off him like he was a fly. "I'm trying to help."

"By drowning him?!"

Shaking his head, Ronon carefully poured more of the water down John's throat.

The team stared quietly as John's pain seemed to fade, as did his gasping. Rodney was about to scream at Ronon for drowning their friend, when John lunged into a sitting position with a powerful gasp, his sharp green eyes unfocused and wide. Right before everyone's eyes, his hair darkened to it's usual pitch black, and his skin darkened and smoothed. The wrinkles faded and slowly disappeared, and right before them, he turned back to his forty-two year old self.

"What...the..._hell_...?!" Rodney stared in shock as John closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

**(Atlantis, Infirmary, Normal POV)**

Sitting up on the gurney, John sighed loudly and pointedly as Carson pulled the stethoscope from his chest with a confused frown. "I told you, doc, I'm fine. I don't know what happened, or what was in that water, but I'm me again."

"There was still a small sample left in the skin and I analyzed it. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it, at all. I don't get how you were rapidly aged through a 'kiss', and then returned to your normal age through a drink of water."

"I don't get it, either, but re-examining me six times a day isn't gonna show up any new results." With a frown, John pulled down his shirt and raised an eyebrow. "What about Rodney? Any news on the girl or if he got more of the water?"

Shaking his head, Carson put the stethoscope around his neck. "No. Unfortunately, it appears that the gate won't connect for some reason. No one knows why. We can't get back to find her, or to get more of the water."

Standing up quickly, the only thing that stopped John from racing to the control room was the arm Carson put out in front of him to stop him.

"They've re-rerouted the Daedalus to check it out, but if what she said about this...disease acting every ten hours is true, it's already far too late for her, lad." Carson frowned. "I find it hard to believe the Ancients never found out that these people were basically vampires, living off the youth of others, or what was truly the use of the water."

"Well, that could explain Teyla's sensing her presence. If she was anything like Teyla, and was experimented on, or had her people experimented on, this could have been a by-product. Kind of a power, but a bad one, I guess." John looked down at the gurney sadly, knowing that she hadn't meant to hurt him. He remembered the look of regret on her face as she stared at the corpse she named to be her brother, and the look of pain on her face when it came time to 'feed' again. She didn't like it, but she couldn't fight it. "She could have killed me."

"Aye, lad, that she could've. You're lucky she didn't." Carson patted his shoulder softly before pointing for him to get back up on the gurney.

Doing so, John found himself unable to help but wonder what happened to the girl and the gate.

**(Somewhere else)**

Laying next to the decimated remains of the stargate, was a single female mummified figure, in leather. Next to it was a leather bag and a strange contraption which seemed to be linked to fragments around the gate remains. As a single three eyed cat roamed by, a whisper was heard on the wind.

_I'm sorry._..

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Hm, I'm not too sure how this one turned out. I realized I said fountain and well both, so I tried to explain that there was a main fountain with a well attached to it, where the water seemed to run to. It was on the same source. Blah, sorry if it didn't turn out too well.

Hope you like it

Written November 1, 2008

R+R please

Thank you,

Tenshi


	48. The Daedalus Variations Zombie

**Dorothy** - Sorry about the late update. I've been so busy lately, but I do have the next update ready. :)

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - LOL, no it wouldn't surprise me if you said you didn't like the girl. I'm glad you liked the chap, though.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - I'm glad you figured it out. Sorry about that, I kind of was only half there when I was writing the chapter, so I had to go back and look, and then I realized I said both 'well' and 'fountain'. That's why I tried to explain it was like one of those big fancy fountains that kind of run off into a large well at the side. LOL. easy to picture, hard to explain.

**x Varda x** - I got the idea of the vampire kiss from watching Painkiller Jane, with a neural (someone with mental abilities) who killed people by sucking out their youth. The idea of healing water... I don't know where I got that from. LOL

**Shadows-of-Realm** - I thank you for being honest with me. I only posted it because it was a completed chapter, really. I think it was one of my worst, so I'm hoping my others will all be better. LOL.

**Debbie418uk2** - Well, it was kind of a back idea, that if they lasted ten hours, with the healing water, they could keep their victims alive and feed on them again. Meh, it didn't come out that great, I know. It wasn't one of my stronger muses, but I'm hoping this next update is better. :) And don't worry, I know all about real life getting in the way.

**Jasminesmommy** - Yes, it definitely was. Not so much a faountain of YOUTH, but a healing fountain. Though it kind of _was_ fountain of 'youth' for John. LOL

Sorry about the late update, I've been so very busy. I did find myself thinking about updating my story a lot, but I was either out of time, on a bad connection, or didn't have my jump drive with me so I could get to my stories. I was actually thinking about updating today, and signed in to check my email and found a review for it asking me to update. So I was like, 'Sure. Ok.'. LOL.

AU of Daedalus Variations.

The idea of zombies came to me from Resident Evil, so that's where I'm kind of getting the description of the zombie. The fanged mouth is something different.

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**(Daedalous, John's POV)**

Ok, when you're running around on what looks like a pretty banged up version of one of your ships, though you know it's not actually _your_ ship, there's probably a number of things that cross your mind. Hell, I'm willing to bet alternate reality's in there, somewhere, too. The only thing is, even when you find out that the ship _is_ from an alternate reality, a pretty grim one at that, there's still things that you'd never expect to find.

"Sheppard, hey."

"It's a drive, alright. Only it didn't move us through space, it's moved us into an alternate reality!" Rodney was on a roll with his apparent discovery.

Nodding to myself, I stared down at _our_ discovery. "Well, that would explain a few things."

Dead alternate versions of your team and yourself are one of them.

The four of them, the four alternate versions of us, were laying on the ground. There was no sign of any kind of wounds on any of them, and their eyes were closed, as if they were asleep. Still, the pallid tones of their faces, their positions, and the lack of a pulse, when I checked, served to prove they were dead.

"Rodney, you might wanna get down here." I muttered quietly. _Actually, on second thought, you might not wanna._ Frowning, I checked the tags on my dead alternate self, only to find what looked like a strange hickey on his neck, just under the collar of his shirt. "I think I found something." It wasn't a normal _hickey_, though, it looked like a circular wound, made by a mouth with many tiny, sharp teeth.

The tags read General John Sheppard.

_General, huh?_ For a moment, I stopped to think about that. _Cool!_

"What's that?" Ronon was looking over my shoulder, and his sudden appearance made me jump. "I checked my-uh, double, uh..." He shrugged. "Other me, and he didn't have a mark like that."

Teyla was at my side a moment, but left to check herself, or, 'other' her. "There is no mark on her, either." She checked other Rodney and shook her head. "Nor him."

"That's comforting." I stated dryly, wincing as it appeared blood still flowed sluggishly from the wound. "So I get some weird kind of alien hickey, we're all dead..." Realizing what I said, I winced. "Or, other versions of us are all dead, and _we're_ stuck on a pretty badly damaged ship, jumping to alternate realities."

"Ok, ok, I'm here. What did you-oh." Rodney's rant cut off in mid sentence, and I turned to find him staring wide eyed at the four dead alternate team. "Oh, uh... What...?"

"Come on, Rodney, help me get them up." With a sigh, I decided we'd better move them out of the room, and we could at least lay them to rest a little better than they were. "Ronon, you take, uh... Ronon, and Teyla, you, um... Take yourself? Or...I can help you..." Shaking my head, I gave her a look I was certain explained how confusing and disturbing this was, and bent to pick up alternate me.

Imagine my surprise when the dead body I was trying to pick up, suddenly went less limp, and I felt a movement and sharp pain in the side of my neck.

Screaming in shock and pain, I dropped the body, jumping back as other me's eyes were wide open, showing nothing but multi-segmented blackness, like you'd find on an insect, for eyes. His mouth was open, showing a larger, similar shape to the wound on his neck, and his teeth were sharpened and dripping blood.

_Oh, nice. Very nice._ I thought as I backed away quickly and grabbed for my hand gun.

Feeling something drip down my neck, I stared in shock as he lunged at me again, only to be hit by a blast from Ronon's gun. Unfortunately, being dead already, the blast had little effect, but to draw his attention.

"What the _hell_ is going on?!" Rodney squeaked, his eyes widen and his jaw slack. Looking to his alternate body, he jumped away from it, like he'd been burned by fire, and scrabbled back to the wall, staring at the other bodies. "They-They're not all gonna wake up....are they??"

"I really don't wanna think about that right now, Rodney." I muttered through gritted teeth, trying to ignore the pain searing through my neck and head. Aiming my gun, I tried to hold it steady, frowning as my hands shook. _Come on, you can do this._ Aiming carefully, I let lose a few shots, hitting myself in the back of the head. Wincing as the weird zombie version of myself went down, I stared at it with I'm sure, a pretty horrified face, as I lowered my gun.

"John!"

I spun my head, wincing at the pain, as Teyla rushed over and knelt at my side. Running her hands over my neck, she carefully pried my shirt down, giving me an apologetic look as I hissed in pain. "It is deep."

Everything was hazy. Through the pain I was in, the strange sense of heat radiating from my neck, along with the feeling of hot fluid running down my neck, I tried to remain conscious, as I stared down at the newly dead version of myself, trying to understand what just happened.

Seeing the mutated face, and wide open eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, I shook my head, and groaned as a fresh wave of pain washed over me. Feeling my arm, which was holding me upright, give out, I barely heard my gun hit the ground as I collapsed and everything went black.

**(Normal POV)**

"John. John…" Shaking his shoulder slightly, Teyla used a damp cloth on his forehead, worried at the sudden fever that seemed to spike only moments after he'd been bitten. "You must wake up."

Ronon was staring down at him through narrowed eyes, holding his blaster, set on stun, loosely in his hand. "I don't like this. What if he turns into…" He shrugged and gestured to where they'd laid the bodies out, covering them with blankets. "That?"

Rodney had been standing next to the unconscious John, but quickly backed off at that, his face paling even more than it already was. Looking down at John's pale, sweaty face, he took another step back and pointed to the door. "Um, maybe I should, uh… I mean, you don't need me here, and I'd be better….not here… I'll uh, head to…the engine room, and see what I can-can find." Hesitating for a moment, he stared in worry at John. "Let me know if there's uh…. Oh, but there won't be, I'm not a Doctor. Or, uh, I'm not-"

"McKay." Staring steadily at him, Ronon raised an eyebrow. "Go."

"Right." Backing out of the doorway, he held other McKay's computer tablet and nodded absently. "R-Right. I'm going." He wasn't usually so agreeable, and if it weren't for the beyond creepy situation, he'd surely have told the big Satedan off for telling him what to do. But since the situation _was_ prety damn creepy, he simply beat a hasty retreat.

"I do not like this, his temperature has simply spiked since being bitten." Frowning deeply, Teyla pulled the ripped collar of John's shirt down and her eyes narrowed at the blood still seeping from the wound, along with a thick, clear substance. "He needs help. I do not believe this is a simple infection."

Suddenly, John groaned and his eyes darted back and forth under his eyelids. Wincing as if in pain, his eyes slowly opened, showing the glazed green eyes underneath. He stared blankly at the ceiling before his eyes slowly drifted towards Ronon, and then to Teyla. "Hey guys." He struggled to sit up and frowned in confusion as Teyla held him down. "Oh, wow, did anyone get the number of the bus that hit me?"

Teyla gave him an odd look. "Do not move. You were attacked, and I believe you have some sort of virus."

"Attacked?"

She nodded. "The alternate you, he was…" Hesitating, the Athosian's eyes were clearly haunted. "Dead, but…not dead."

Frowning for a moment, John closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, pulling his hand away and staring at the sweat that coated it, as if it was a shock that he was sweating. It was still kind of cool on the ship. "He… _It_ was…undead. What we call things that are dead, but still moving." He shrugged and sighed, his voice still sounding very groggy. "It bit me?"

Teyla nodded.

"Great. If this is anything like the movies, I'll have some sort of man-made evil virus that will eventually kill me and-" Seeing the blank and disturbed stares Teyla and Ronon were giving him, he grimaced and shook his head. "Never mind. Long story."

"Guys! I've got news!" Rodney's voice cut over their ear pieces.

**(After the Run in with The Alien Ship)**

"I'm telling you, that was a _Borg_." John insisted as he stumbled down the hallway. "Bald, oddly colored humanoid guy with a weird jumpsuit with pieces of technology in it, and technology in his face. That's a Borg, I swear!" Tripping at the corner, it took Ronon's quick grab to keep him from falling. "Uh, yeah, sorry."

"You must rest, John." Teyla insisted as she walked with him. "Rodney is reconfiguring the alternate reality drive to take us back, but you are weak. You grow steadily worse."

"Yeah well, not much we can do." He mumbled as he rubbed at his eyes and staggered down the hall with them. "Not until we get back to our own reality, anyways."

His face was white as a sheet and he was sweating profusely, even though there were red rings around his blood-shot eyes, and the wound was _still_ bleeding. His steps were no longer as sure as they used to be, and for everyone's safety, Ronon had relieved him of his P90, leaving him with his knife and hand gun.

"I have taken a sample of alternate John's blood for comparison, once we return to Atlantis." Teyla stated quietly.

Stopping for a moment, he stared at her as if trying to figure out what she was saying. Then, a look of realization crossed his face. "Oh, yeah. Wow, good idea." He turned and staggered on again.

It wasn't long, they must have been right outside the bridge door when John stopped, leaning heavily against the wall as he began to gag. He stooped there, leaning over as he dry heaved and choked for air.

Ronon grabbed his arm, slipping one hand behind his back as he held John upright.

After a few moments, he managed to get control of himself and nodded. "Thanks, buddy. I'm good now."

"You sure?" Ronon raised a single eyebrow.

Nodding, John took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm sure."

With a shrug, Ronon let go, and John crashed to the ground with an undignified yelp. Laying there, he choked and gasped again, his face looking pained and tortured. When the choking didn't seem to want to let up this time Teyla kneeled at his side and rubbed his back, casting a worried glance up to Ronon.

Finally, it all seemed to become too much, and gasping for breath, John's trembling body collapsed, being saved from hitting the hard ground from Teyla's arms.

**(In Their Own Reality)**

"We need to move! How long since he last fell unconscious?!"

Running next to Carson, Teyla thought about it for a moment. "He was last conscious as we got ready to leave the ship, in the space suits. He fell unconscious shortly after leaving the ship. He has not regained consciousness since."

"Do you have any idea what could have caused this?" He kept checking John's vitals. "I don't like this, I've never seen him so sick."

"I have a sample…" Teyla pulled a small vial out of one of her vest pockets and handed it to Carson. "It was taken from alternate reality's John Sheppard. He was…. I believe the Colonel used the term 'Undead'. Dead, but…not dead?"

Carson paused as the stretcher was wheeled quickly into the infirmary. "Dear lord." Rushing in, he carefully pushed past Elizabeth, who was standing next to Ronon and Rodney.

"_Undead_!?" Elizabeth's eyes were impossibly wide. "Wow, this is a little too much like some of our movies."

"Yes. John mentioned something about that. That he would have a…." She looked at Ronon and moment.

"Man-made virus, or something." He put in. "That it would kill him."

"Yes, it's a….long and twisted story." Elizabeth made a face.

No one really knew how long everyone was waiting. Rodney had fallen asleep on one of the beds, after being looked at for the shot to his arm, by one of the hiding Borg. Elizabeth was leaning against the table, deep in a conversation about zombies, with Teyla, trying to explain the movies to her. And Ronon was listening intently, the look on his face, showing just how twisted it all was.

…And his definite interest to see every one of these movies he could find.

Finally, Carson came out of the room, exhausted and giving a small smile to Teyla. "That was quick thinking, lass. John was indeed infected with a virus, but luckily, we managed to synthesize an anti-virus from the sample you brought me. It was like nothing I've ever seen before. He'll be fine after some rest. He's awake now, but very tired. I'll let you visit, but only for five minutes."

Nodding, the team, minus Rodney who was still sleeping deeply, made their way into the room, shocked and scared by just how white John's skin was, and how his black hair and red rimmed eyes stood out against the pallid tone. His eyes were open, barely, and a vivid green that almost seemed to glow, from the remains of the fever.

"Hey." His voice was raspy, as if it hadn't been used in ages.

"Sheppard." Ronon smiled a little. "You better get better. We got a zombie-fest to watch." He was obviously picking up words from Elizabeth and John.

Staring at him a moment, he frowned. "Zombie-fest?"

"Yup. Elizabeth told us all about these movies."

Eyes widening a moment, John looked at Elizabeth with a grim, unhappy look before turning back to Ronon. "Give me a little time to get better, first, 'k, buddy?"

Nodding, Ronon grinned like a little kid and turned, patting John's leg as he walked out of the room.

"I'm _so_ gonna get you for that." John warned lowly, making Elizabeth and Teyla grin, despite the stern look on his face. Wincing a little, he rubbed his neck and his eyes fell closed. He yawned and relaxed against the bed, not bothering to open his eyes. "After I rest, of course." He finished almost too quietly to hear.

Nodding to each other, Teyla and Elizabeth wished John a 'get well soon' before leaving him to rest. Elizabeth stopped off long enough to make sure Carson kept samples of the virus and anti-virus someplace safe.

If they had run into this in one dimension, there was no guarantee they wouldn't run into it here, too.

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Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	49. Whiskers Part 1

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - LOL. Yeah, I figured as much. Well, you'll probably like this one. It's a two-parter with hints of Elizabeth/John (could be seen as really good friends, though) in it.

**x Varda x** - I know, poor John. He's always getting it, huh? Well, this time at least he doesn't get hurt.

**Dorothy** - You're very welcome. :)

**Shadows-of-Realm** - Hm, yes. Perhaps...the Enterprise? Nah, taken... Though, I'd have loved to see John exploring space and 'going where no man has gone before'. I was trying to keep the zombie thing from getting _too_ gorey.

**Debbie418uk2** - Ah, yes. I know I replied to this already, but I'll reply again. It was difficult. I could have expanded on that chapter, but like you said, it runs the risk of running long. This one, however, I think it made a nice two-parter. You might just enjoy this, and I could see a Rodney's point of view in it, too. Since he's affected. LOL. Hints? Let's just say... Puss-in-boots. LMAO

And yes, it was a Woolsey/Keller episode, I'm pretty sure. It was season five, and not one Carson was in, I don't think.

**Jasminesmommy** - Hm, yes, I know.

**Note** : I don't know whether to list Rodney as a brunette or blond, so I might say something different in different chapters.

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**(Normal POV)**

"Another mission, another battle." John groaned to himself as the team took a breather back in the safety of Atlantis. Seeing Elizabeth looking at him in confusion, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Wraith showed up."

"Yeah, and before I could finish my scans, too. We got nothing!" Rodney was glaring at the little hand held data pad and looked tempted to toss it away for a moment, but seemed to recover himself and stuck it angrily in his pocket, just in case.

Ronon sauntered off, knowing this was usually the point where the team whined and moaned about their mission. You know, they called it a briefing? He never really took part in those, anyways, so he tended to make himself scarce, and Elizabeth didn't seem to mind.

Teyla, at least, was there and had remained fairly calm, despite another bombed mission. Her hair was filled with soot from the Wraith dart the team downed, but she walked into the briefing room after them with a serene air about her, as usual.

"Well, can you tell me what you _did_ find?" Elizabeth sat at the table and calmly stared at John as he moved to sit across from her, Rodney sitting on one side, and Teyla on the other. "I mean, were there ruins? A city?"

"Ruins." Rodney sighed. "Actually more like remains of ruins. The buildings were more or less destroyed, but there were some interesting artifacts I would have loved to bring back to be studied."

John nodded and pointed to Rodney. "What he said."

Elizabeth frowned a moment and seemed to think about it. "Do you think the Wraith will stay long? Could we return at a later date, if we wanted to?"

"What for? They'll probably have it picked clean by then."

"Rodney..."

"What? I'm serious. If you hadn't dragged me outta there, I might've been able to grab _something_."

With a loud groan, John rolled his eyes and reached into his pants pocket. Pulling his closed fist back out, he gave Rodney the evil eye. "And here I wanted to surprise everyone." He held his hand out to Rodney, and inside it was a necklace with a deep red ruby-like gem in the center. It was simple, with a golden clasp around the nickel-sized gem, and had smaller emeralds all around the ruby, in the gold clasp. The unusual thing was that the ruby had a black center, oval-shaped center, and it made it strangely look like an eye. "It was on the table, so I just grabbed it and stuffed it in my pocket."

"Well thank you." Rodney seemed a little mollified, but then frowned. "But I don't see what I can do with a necklace."

Shrugging, John grinned and took his hand back. He let the gorgeous pendant dangle from his hand, the long, thick, gold chain swaying a little, and the ruby reflecting off the light in the room. The reflection bounced off John's chest as he moved his hand around, eyeing the necklace, then, as he moved, it worked it's way up to his face, and caught him in the eye.

"Ow!" He winced and rubbed at his eye, dropping the necklace on to the table.

As he rubbed at his eye, Rodney stared at the necklace curiously, and before he knew what he was doing, he reached out and picked it up. "Huh, it is kinda pretty, I guess. Maybe I should run scans on it, just to be certain it's _only_ a necklace?"

"Be my guest." John muttered, blinking his eye. "But if it _is_ just a necklace, can I have it back?" He grinned at Rodney and winked. "I know the perfect person to give it to."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow but remained quiet as Rodney fiddled with the necklace, and John watched. Teyla smiled a little at the boys, then turned to Elizabeth as the leader of Atlantis cleared her throat.

"Alright. We'll wait a while and see if the Wraith leave. If they do, I want you to go back and see what you _can_ find." She gave Rodney a look. "Dismissed."

**(The Next Day, John's POV)**

Waking to the nice warm sun shining through my window, I sighed and stretched in my bed. Then I frowned. My eyes were still closed, but something clearly wasn't right. For one thing, my body wasn't laying on an even surface. For another, when I tried to scratch an itch on my arm, _everything_ felt off.

Opening my eyes, I hissed and blinked out the bright sun. Then I blinked again in confusion, as what came out of my mouth sounded…well…not like me. Actually, it didn't even sound human. It sounded more...animalistic...? ...Cat-like, maybe...? Looking up, over my head, I felt my legs bend in a way that wasn't normal and ignored it to stare in horror at my arms. Instead of the long, lean arms I was used to, I was staring at two black, fur-covered paws. I couldn't even scream. My mind wasn't fully awake yet, and I was half wondering if maybe this was some sort of bad dream.

Then I noticed something out of my peripheral, and felt my eyes narrow.

_Are those…whiskers…??_

Finally my mind seemed to catch up to me, and I flipped over in my bed with a smoothness that left me even more stunned. I looked down at myself, and instead of my pajama-clad body, I was staring at the long, lean, black haired body of an animal. I tried to stand up, but I couldn't get upright, and it threw off my balance. I wasn't used to walking with four legs, and wobbled as I tried to get my balance so I could get to my mirror and see what the hell was going on. Luckily I was on my bed, so every time I fell, it didn't hurt.

_This is too weird! This is too weird!_ My mind was chanting as I slowly learned to get my balance. Getting up, I jumped down off my bed, which seemed four times higher than it was supposed to be. I landed on the floor easily, and barely felt it as I bolted unsteadily for the bathroom. Once there, I jumped up onto the sink and looked into the mirror. _HOLY HELL! I'M A FREAKING CAT!!!_

If the situation wasn't so worrying, I probably would've been amused at the image of a cat staring back at me with impossibly wide green eyes and its jaw hanging open. I could only stand there, staring at myself in shock. My mind didn't want to register what I was seeing, and it ran from believing I was dreaming to wondering if I'd lost my mind, to debating the hundreds of ways to kill McKay for dragging us to that last planet.

_I'm a freaking _cat_, I can claw his eyes out and run away and no one would ever know!_ I thought darkly, even as my door chimed. I opened my mouth to yell come in, forgetting my current situation, but instead of a human voice, all that came out was a loud 'Meow'. The door chimed again, and I frowned, wondering how to get their attention. Well, first I wondered who the hell was so insistent on seeing me, _then_ I wondered why they were so insistent. I heard a voice, probably more clearly than I should have, and it was Teyla.

"John? Are you there?"

_No, I suddenly got a pet cat._ I thought dryly as I hopped down off the sink and landed with surprising ease on the floor. _Damn! Cats have it good!_ Sauntering out into the main room, my stomach grumbled and I frowned suddenly, as I eyed the door. _Oh, crap. How exactly am I supposed to get that open?_ Staring at the door a moment, I looked to the control panel and it was _so high!_ Still, as a cat... I reared back, not really knowing or caring at the moment how I probably looked, and jumped up. _Damn!_ Not quite. As I landed, I crouched down again and jumped a little harder. _Almost..._. I landed and glared at the door, accidentally forgetting myself and growling in irritation. Then I crouched even lower and jumped again. _BINGO!_

Luckily Atlantis seemed to read the hand in front of the door, instead of the ATA gene, only this time it was reading my currently furry head instead of my hand. The door slid open silently as I landed on the ground, and Teyla frowned at me in confusion.

_Teyla!_ I opened my mouth to say her name and ended up growling when it seemed I couldn't get my mouth to form her name.

I wasn't sure what to expect, since we'd never had a chance to introduce a cat into Atlantis, or Ronon and Teyla to cats, other than in movies. What I _didn't_ expect, however, was for Teyla to bend down and pick me up with a frown. I felt my eyes widen and jaw drop as I stared at her and she tilted her head to the side before grinning a little.

"Dr. McKay did not show up at breakfast this morning, and Dr. Zelenka reported him in the lab. They were working..." She looked like she was reciting. "And there was a bright flash of light. Then Dr. McKay was no where to be found, but a brown cat was in his place." She grinned. "It is....amusing, watching Rodney trying to type with his paws, and the glowers he gives everyone when they laugh."

_What do you expect?_ I thought dryly. _It's McKay._

"We assumed that whatever caused it was from the mission yesterday, and since neither Ronon nor myself have been affected..." She trailed off and elegantly raised an eyebrow. "Currently, Major Lorne is working with Elizabeth, Dr. Zelenka and Ronon to try and figure out what has caused this." She turned and began walking away from my room, shifting her hold on me until she could swipe her hand over the door control, closing the door.

_If she knew all this, why didn't she just come in??_ I thought in slight irritation, not really like having to be _carried_. Even if it was by a beautiful woman, although there was another woman I'd have preferred carry me._ I wonder how _she's_ taking this?_

**(Normal POV)**

As Elizabeth sat in the conference room, she struggled not to laugh as a brown haired feline sat in front of Rodney's computer, his bright blue eyes scrutinizing the information scrolling across the screen. Every once in a while, he'd reach out with his paw and tap the enter button and watch the screen some more. Rolling his paw across the mouse pad now, he leaned over the computer and began typing away, and she lost it.

Of course, her laughter made him stop and look up in confusion, right before an indignant glare crossed his features. He leaned back and probably would have folded his arms if he could have.

She could just imagine the indignant thoughts, and tried to control her laughter. "I'm sorry, Rodney, but that's just…." She shook her head, knowing 'cute' would only offend him more. Then again, 'adorable', 'sweet' and 'funny' didn't seem like good choices either, and those were about the only words crossing her mind whenever she saw his paws moving away on the keyboard.

Shaking her head, Katie laughed, having been invited, since besides being a botanist, she knew quite a bit about cats. "It's cute."

"Only you, Rodney, could turn into a _cat_ and would _still_ want your computer, or find a way to type on it with paws." Elizabeth added ruefully. Just then the door opened and she looked up, watching as Teyla and Ronon walked in, a small black cat with green eyes in Teyla's arms. Immediately, she frowned. "So John's changed, too?" Of course she knew it was him. Rodney turned into a brown haired, blue eyed cat and was found in the lab by Radek. Teyla and Ronon were alright, so she was hopeful John would still be human to shed some light on what happened. Apparently, whatever caused the change, caused it in both John _and_ Rodney.

Watching as John jumped unsteadily from Teyla's arms to land on the desk, rather ungracefully, she raised an eyebrow. He staggered a little, but seemed to quickly catch his balance, and walked forward, seemingly still learning to walk. Remembering this with Rodney, Elizabeth relaxed, realizing he was just getting used to four legs, instead of two.

"He had already changed, though I am not certain how he managed to open his door in this form." Teyla frowned in confusion before looking to Elizabeth as she sat down across from her.

Elizabeth tried to imagine how he managed that, and then mentally questioned why Teyla hadn't just gone in. Her mind flashed to John jumping up on something and across the panel, so it would read his body, but then she recalled a movie night he held there, and that there was nothing by the door. All the furniture was too big for a cat to move, so that wouldn't work either. Did he just jump? She could imagine him jumping over and over, reaching in vain for the door control, and glaring at it when he didn't make it. She couldn't help but grin at the image.

Rodney was typing away at his computer, and everyone turned to stare at him, including John. The room went deadly quiet for a moment, the only sound filling the air was his typing. Then he seemed to realize how quiet it was, and his ears went back as he slowly raised his head, an almost fearful look on his face, and his eyes impossibly wide. Right at that moment, practically the entire room began laughing, or chuckling quietly, everyone trying to stifle their amusement at the situation. Even John's shoulders shook at the situation, his eyes closed and a cute little kitty grin on his features.

Of course, noticing this, Elizabeth began laughing even harder, and clasped her hands to her sides as she struggled to breathe. It took a while before anyone stopped, and by this point, Rodney was laying on his stomach, not even bothering with the computer, and John was following his example, only laying on the table next to Elizabeth, where he _would_ have been sitting if he were still human.

"I'm sorry, guys. Maybe it would be better if we met…alone." Elizabeth looked hesitant to say anything. She heard a 'meow' of protest from both boys, before John growled a little and laid his head down on his paws. She grinned and fought off the urge to reach out and run her hands over his silky-looking black fur. "Oh come on, don't get your fur in a bundle." She grinned cheekily at the glares she got.

"Yeah, we really don't need any cat fights." Ronon put in with clear amusement.

John glared at Ronon and briefly bared his fangs, then turned to Elizabeth, giving her an almost pleading look. If the big green eyes were daunting on John as a human, she had no hope in hell of resisting him as a cat. "Ok, fine. Let's just continue. Everyone's here, anyways." She looked to Radek, who had set up his own laptop next to Rodney and was currently looking at Rodney's. "Any ideas as to what caused this?"

"It looks like Rodney was working on analyzing the necklace Colonel Sheppard brought back yesterday." Radek reached over to type something on Rodney's computer, and Rodney spat at him and swiped at his hand angrily, causing Elizabeth to snort back a laugh, and Radek to yelp and pull away. "I only want to see what you found."

Rodney glared at him before pointedly turning to his computer, leaning forward and typing again, ignoring the laughter he got as he pulled back and looked smugly at Radek.

"Hmm… It seems the necklace was giving off faint energy readings that were undetectable without use of a computer." He frowned. "The energy matches things that were found P4M-669."

"I remember that he mentioned not getting anything because of the Wraith attack. Was it the necklace in particular that caused this?" Elizabeth frowned, her fingers twitching as she resisted the urge to pet the pretty relaxed-looking John next to her.

Radek typed on his own computer for a moment before shaking his head. "No, I do not think so. The energy is faint, not harmful to us in the least."

"But you think whatever caused it is back on the planet?"

"The planet's covered in Wraith." Ronon put in gruffly.

Teyla nodded and frowned. "And they destroy everything."

Sitting up straight, abruptly, Elizabeth frowned deeply. "We can't allow that. We need to find what caused this so we can tell if it's permanent, dangerous or what." Pursing her lips, she began thinking. "If the Wraith are still there, we'll need to be extra careful. The last thing we need is to lose more people." She felt something stir under her hand, and startled out of her thoughts, noticing everyone was watching her hand. Turning, she noticed she was petting John's back, and he looked quite relaxed.

Hell, he was _purring_.

"Sorry." She muttered, pulling her hand away and getting a small whine as John's green eyes opened a crack and turned to her. She hesitated a moment before putting her hand back, mentally forcing herself to pay attention as she stroked his warm back. "Alright, Ronon, Teyla, I want you two to put together a team of marines and go back to that planet. I want you to save what you can of the ruins, by any means necessary. Also, try not to touch anything, we don't know what caused this, or if it'll affect you too."

"If they go back now, we risk letting the cat out of the bag." Radek blushed at the grins he got from the humans, and the glare Rodney shot him. John was too relaxed to notice, it seemed. "Oh, uhm, excuse me. I meant that they will know we are after something."

"I understand, but we need to know what's going on. Teyla. Ronon. You have a go. Dismissed."

Everyone got up and began clearing out of the room. Rodney typed on his computer, shooting a black look at anyone who dared to laugh, and leaned back after hitting the enter key. Katie walked over to him and looked at the computer a moment before carefully picking it up and slinging it under her arm. Next, she picked up Rodney and cuddled him close to her chest, ignoring or not noticing the wide-eyed nearly panicked look on his face as he was pressed right against her _chest_.

Elizabeth hiccupped a giggle and covered her mouth, trying to make it look like a cough. When she looked around, she realized only her and John were left and she was still petting him. She allowed herself a moment to stroke the black fur along his back, marveling at it's warmth and softness. John's eyes were closed, and his head was down on his paws again. He wasn't even purring now, and when she pulled her hand away, he didn't protest.

_Probably asleep._

Standing up quietly, she leaned over and carefully picked him up, trying not to disturb him too much. She felt him shift and tuck his little black head against her neck, and they were off.

**(John's POV, Some time later)**

Ok, so being a cat had it's down sides. I couldn't reach the food in the lunch room, unless I jumped up on the counter. And the staff forbade me from going in there, because they didn't want 'cat hair' on the food, since some people were allergic. Even after Ronon put in that he didn't think I was 'shedding', they insisted it was unsanitary, so I was banned.

Rodney, too, after he knocked over the third coffee pot to get to the coffee inside. I still think it was better than sticking his head _in_ a glass mug, or drinking out of the coffee pot itself -both of which he'd tried already- but they didn't seem to notice that.

Luckily, we did have water dishes that were kept fresh and clean by our friends. Our meals were brought to us by our team, Katie, Radek or Elizabeth, since not everyone knew about Rodney's allergy to citrus. Katie took to looking after Rodney, even if he was constantly in a black mood for having to wear a flea collar, and be brushed, all the time. She adored what was going on, and doted on him, which he did enjoy, even if it made him look pretty awkward.

Elizabeth looked after me, and it was nice to have the freedom _not _to have to wear a flea collar, or be brushed ten times a day. It was awkward when she'd give in to the urge to pet me, or stare at me with such an affectionate look, but it _was_ nice.

I couldn't go to the gun range, however, since two marines came in to watch me struggling to hold a gun upright -though the butt was against the table for support- and aiming at the target. I had the back of the gun pressed against my chest, and both paws wrapped around the part where the trigger was, and hey, the gun was empty. Did you really expect me to work with a loaded gun?? I guess Elizabeth didn't tell them the situation, because one promptly pulled a gun on me, and the other dropped to the ground in a dead faint. The fainting was kind of funny, though. Then, of course, Ronon walked in and explained it to them after laughing his ass off at the explanation he got from the one conscious marine.

He told Elizabeth about that, and it was _her_ who forbade me going on missions, or trying to train at all.

It didn't help Lorne came in after a light training session, sporting a number of scratches and bites and whining about me jumping at him for no reason. I'd thought we were sparring. So I couldn't throw him over my shoulder, I could still kick his ass!

And Teyla _still_ hasn't stopped laughing about me trying to grab a bantos stick with my mouth. I'd tried my paws, but they wouldn't grip the stick right. And don't even bother to ask why I picked it up in my mouth, I just felt this overwhelming urge to do so. Maybe not surprisingly, it didn' taste very good.

On the upside, when I ran with Ronon, I beat him easily. One of the advantages of having four legs, I guess. Not to mention, I also figured out my balance issues, so that was no problem, either. I could run faster and jump higher. Ok, so you're probably wondering why I'm trying all this stuff. I'm a soldier. Plain and simple. I'm a fighter. Cat body or not, I'm not about to give up on my training so easily. Besides, this was all done on an alien world, so who knew what I was capable of.

Oh, and this all took place after they returned from their scout mission last night. They Wraith had thinned out a great deal, but there were still a couple of guards, and it didn't look like they were going to destroy the place, but Elizabeth ordered a watch of the gate and ruins, just in case. I still don't get how they didn't hear the gate dialing in, or it didn't register on their equipment. Then again, Rodney had mentioned a radiation field that was harmless to us over a short period of time, but it would block our sensors from reading anything beyond the ruins. It was only because the Wraith came into the ruins that we were notified about their arrival.

"Hey, John." Elizabeth walked into the room and sighed as she flopped down onto her bed, laying back a moment before sitting up and looking at me.

"Meow"

Ok, I didn't like this. Sure, I loved the attention, and I could imagine how hilarious some of this was, but not being able to talk to people, or communicate… Elizabeth smiled, and I wished I could talk to her.

"How're you feeling?"

I could only cock my head. I couldn't even raise an eyebrow!

Laughing a little, she shook her head and sat down on her bed. We were in her room, where she'd been taking care of me. "Sorry. I can't seem to get used to the idea that you can't talk." She reached over and patted my back lightly. Then a look of curiosity came over her face and she reached up to my cheek. Gently she brushed her hand along the length of my whiskers, and smiled at my response.

I couldn't help it. The sensation was the cross between a caress and a tickle, and my lip pulled up and back of it's own accord, baring a couple of my teeth. Right about now is where I'd be raising an eyebrow, but since I couldn't, I settled for just looking at her curiously, despite the fact she was still dragging her fingers through my whiskers.

"You've always had whiskers." She grinned as she leaned back on her bed, sporting her upper body against the headboard. "But now you've got _whiskers_."

I would have probably given her a funny look, if I could. Then again, I think it worked, anyways, because she began laughing lightly and shook her head.

"Sorry. Look, I know it all looks like we're having fun at your situation, but we really are trying to help. It doesn't help you're being absolutely adorable." She reached out and ran a single finger down my back, and I couldn't help the tiny shiver than ran through me.

The door chimed, and Elizabeth startled. Sitting up straight, she adjusted her jacket. "Come in."

The door opened and Ronon walked in. Looking at me, he grinned. "You look like the cat that just ate the canary." Then he frowned and turned to Elizabeth. "What's a canary?"

I dropped my head on the bed, ignoring her laughter as she explained it to him, and covering my ears with my paws.

"Oh. Huh, I came in to let you know, Zelenka's found something." With that, he turned and left, still chuckling away.

"Well, that's news." Elizabeth stood up. Turning to me, she seemed to hesitate. "I don't know if it's a good idea to invite Rodney or not. I don't think I'd be able to help but laugh at him if he's still insisting on doing Rodney things." She paused for a moment and pursed her lips. "Did he ever stop trying to drink the coffee straight out of the pot?"

I grinned and nodded.

Grinning back, Elizabeth shook her head. "Alright. Come on, then. We'd better go see what Radek figured out."

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Ok, I'm not sure how this turned out. It came out a lot longer than anticipated. O.o Hope you like it...? (And yes, there is more)

Written November 21, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	50. Whiskers Part 2

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**(Normal POV)**

"You think it was something in the ruins?"

"Yes." Radek nodded. "Carson's tests showed an unusual toxin in their systems. He doesn't think it's permanent, but I'm going to need to analyze the artifacts in the ruins to be sure. I mean, it should wear off soon, but I want to be sure."

Elizabeth looked up from the table as Lorne walked in, rubbing gingerly at his bandaged cheek. Seeing John, he raised an eyebrow and held up a hand when the black cat narrowed its eyes at him. "Whoa, no need to be catty." He looked up and grinned at the others, seeing their answering grins. "Sorry, couldn't help it. Look, I just heard from the gate patrol and the wraith took a few things from the city before going." Hearing a growl, he turned to find Rodney's ears back as he sat curled up in Katie's lap, his paws tucked under himself. Evan raised a hand in warning. "Keep your claws to yourself!" He pointed to his cheek. "I already got it from the Colonel!"

Elizabeth began to giggle quietly in her seat and rubbed John's back, seeming more at ease about it. "Alright, we'd better send a team to figure out what's left. Radek and Lorne, get some scientists and marines together. I want to know everything those ruins have to tell me." Seeing the nod she got, she nodded back. "Dismissed."

As they left, Rodney watched them go, then almost looked like he let out a sigh of relief. Getting up, he stretched slowly in Katie's lap, only to freeze at Elizabeth and Ronon's laughter. Slowly, he turned to look at them and noted them staring at his paws. When he realized what was going on, he let his head drop in humiliation.

"Aren't they cute?? I thought it would be a good idea to keep his feet warm, to help keep him from getting sick," Katie gushed over the little orange booties on Rodney's feet. "And they match his collar, too."

Even John's jaw had dropped and he couldn't help but grin, despite knowing how it looked.

Elizabeth snickered to herself and shook her head. "Adorable. You have yourself a veritable puss-in-boots there." Grinning cheekily at Rodney, she slowly stood up. "Alright, let's go. I have no idea how long it'll be before we hear anything. Dismissed." She turned from the table, and was about to turn back to grab John when he jumped to the floor easily and walked at her side. Seeing that he was fine, she bit back a look of disappointment before following him out of the room.

**(Lunch Room, Later, John's POV)**

"You know it's not going to keep going like this, right?" Elizabeth looked at me, as I eyed my meatloaf-surprise with distaste. "They can't give you anything hard because your system won't digest it. You're lucky you don't seem to have the same intolerance to chocolate most cats do, or that slice of cake you stole off Teyla's plate wouldn't be sitting so well right now."

I raised an eyebrow and took a deep breath before holding it and taking a bite of the mushy meat. Grimacing a little, I chewed and swallowed quickly, shuddering as I was unable to get past the fact that meat should _not_ be runny like that. It didn't taste too bad, bit it wasn't the taste that bothered me, it was the texture.

"Carson's still not sure what to make of the toxin in your system, but he suspects that a little more time, it'll fade and you'll turn back. He doesn't think it'll be any longer than a day or two, but I didn't want to call Radek back just yet. Anything he finds out can still be useful. I still don't get how a toxin can turn you into a cat." She grinned and shrugged. "I guess that's why I'm not a scientist."

I took another bite and repeated the quick chew and swallow routine. This continued for three bites, with Elizabeth watching in a mixture of amusement and sympathy.

"And if worse comes to worse, we can always take you and Rodney back to the planet to reverse it."

My head shot up at this and I felt my eyes widen. _That damn planet's where this happened to me!_ Frowning to myself, I tried to communicate my displeasure about the idea of going back. Then I looked down at my food and decided to forego the meatloaf-surprise. _Why can't we just let it pass normally? I can handle being a cat for a few days._

"Oh come on." Elizabeth rolled her eyes and gave me a playful smirk. "Don't be such a scaredy cat."

I looked up and pointedly rolled my eyes in return, getting a helpless shrug. _It's getting a little old._

"Sorry, but you know it's not gonna stop that easy. You and McKay are perfect targets." She laughed. "Especially with those little orange booties." Seeing my look turn amused, she raised an eyebrow. "I wonder if she has a matching set for you?"

I let the amusement fade from my face. _You... You wouldn't dare! Elizabeth....!_ I knew I was glaring, and hell, I could hear the snarl on my lips. _I wouldn't do that to you, you know!_

I'm guessing my look was pretty impressive, because she raised an eyebrow and held up her hands. "I was just kidding. Relax, you know I wouldn't do that to you." Smiling, she settled back down. "You're kinda cute as a cat, but I think I prefer you human. It's just...easier to talk to you when I can read your face, or when you can talk back. Don't get me wrong." She smiled evilly. "The puns and all your little adventures are hilarious..." She trailed off. "I wonder if Radek was able to get those moments on the CCTV..."

I stared at her pointedly, waiting for her to continue.

"But it's not the same." She opened her mouth to say something, but her face changed to a look of...was that disappointment? Tapping her ear, she sighed quietly. "I'm here. What have you got?" Nodding after a moment, she looked at me. "John's with me. Can you get Katie and Dr. McKay to meet us in the gate room?" She nodded again. "Right. Please do it. Weir out." Tapping her ear piece she gave me a small smile, and tapped it again. "Ronon? Teyla? Can you hear me?"

I watched in growing apprehension as she made plans for them to meet us in the gate room. Since the Wraith were gone, the planet seemed to be perfectly safe, and she was planning on going with us back to the ruins. I let out a growl of protest, beginning to get used to conveying my feelings this way, despite how I felt about it, and sighed quietly to myself when she gave me a look and pointedly ignored me.

Still, I didn't make it easier on her. I knew she'd gotten used to carrying me, and something told me she liked it. When she decided to make her way to the locker room to get ready, she reached out to pick me up and I gave her a dark look before jumping off the table. Ok, so maybe I was being unreasonable, but the fact remains that some unknown toxin on that world changed me and McKay, and she risked being changed to.

Then I paused. Literally. _Why hasn't anyone else changed? It was just me and McKay?_ I looked up to Elizabeth who looked down at me with a confused look, and tried to convey my question, wishing I could at least write, or type.

"John?" Elizabeth sighed and knelt down to my side. "Look, if you're worried about me, don't be. Lorne and his team, along with Ronon and Teyla are going to be there. Not to mention, whatever turned you both into cats won't affect me. After Captain Anderson came back as a cat, Carson pointed out we needed to watch who we sent there." She raised an eyebrow. "Evidently, he didn't realize it was related to the ATA gene."

_Oh. So we're not the only ones...? Well, at least she won't change then._ With a slight nod, I felt a little better and turned and began walking towards the locker room again.

**(P4M-669)**

Everyone was gathered around a glowing altar-like place. It strangely enough looked like a smaller version of a DHD, only made of a topaz-like stone. It glowed brightly as we entered, and Radek was holding the necklace I'd brought back to Atlantis before, pursing his lips as he regarded it.

"It is quite beautiful."

_Hey! Get your paws-err...hands off that!_ Growling slightly, I made sure to keep it low, so no one would think I was actually mad. _But I thought it was harmless?_

"I thought you said the necklace was harmless?" Elizabeth unknowingly spoke my thoughts with a worried frown, tightening her hold on me until I had to dig my claws into her hands a little to get her to loosen her grip.

"I wasn't quite right." He pointed to the altar-like place. "This alter seems to be related to it." He pointed to the small orifice in the center of the altar, which looked like the necklace would fit into it perfectly. It even had a shallow groove for the chain. "This necklace is supposed to be there."

"So why isn't it?" Ronon asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I..." Radek looked stumped and frowned. "I don't know. All I know is Colonel Sheppard's reports state he got the necklace _in_ the ruin." We weren't _in_ the ruin, but around the back of it. "I do know that this altar is covered with the same substance as was found in the Colonel and Rodney's blood streams." He frowned a moment. "Lieutenant Matheson touched the altar, and was rushed to the infirmary gravely ill, so I wouldn't suggest touching it."

Katie, Lorne and his team all took a precautionary step back, just to be safe.

"When he examined the necklace, Carson also noticed _very_ faint traces of the same toxin on the necklace."

"So they're related. I don't see how that helps us."

Radek raised a hand and excitement shone in his eyes. "Ah, but when the stone was allowed to fall on the altar..." He carefully lowered the necklace until the stone rested in its spot perfectly, still keeping a tight hold on the chain. There was a loud rumble, and the ground shook slightly as one of the nearby pillars began to slowly turn. It was carved into a vaguely eagle shape, and as the face of the bird turned to the altar, the color it glowed began to change from topaz to a soft sapphire. "I think this will cure them." He pulled the necklace out of its slot, and the altar turned back, even as the pillar began to spin back around.

"So, what? We set them both on the altar and lower the gem?" Ronon looked doubtful.

Radek shrugged. "So it seems. But since they'll be turning back, we might end up in the way. I'd suggest giving the necklace to one of them and letting them be the ones to drop it in the slot."

Elizabeth nodded with a slightly worried look on her face. Carefully putting me down on the altar, she took a step back as Katie stepped forward and did the same for Rodney.

Promptly, Rodney stuck his paw in his mouth and began tugging at the little booties.

"Oh!"

Katie was about to reach out and help him when Radek grabbed her hand.

"Don't. They've touched the surface, so the toxin is on the boots. If you touch them, you'll get very ill."

Rodney paused a moment and seemed to think about that. Then he looked at the one paw he'd managed to bare, and shrugged before spitting the boot to the side and doing the same to the other front paw. Once they were both free, he was about to let out a sigh of relief, when he looked to his back paws. The front ones were probably the easy ones. He seemed reluctant, but after a moment, let out a growl and sat on the altar, bending so as to get his back foot into his mouth and begin tugging.

Meanwhile, Radek held out the necklace, and I took the chain in my mouth, holding it over the slot as Rodney got the last bootie off and looked triumphant. He turned to me as if to say 'ok, go ahead', but I stared pointedly at his throat. There was no guarantee the collar would turn with us, and if he kept it on, he risked being suffocated.

Now Radek let Katie walk up and she carefully undid the flea collar, and pulled it off, letting her hand trail down Rodney's back as she stepped back.

I raised my eyebrow at him, but let the necklace drop, pushing the chain into the groove with my paws until it sat perfectly. I heard the rumble and frowned to myself as the altar began to warm up. I could feel heat coming from it, and I felt my eyes narrow as I was hit with both a dizzy spell, and the sudden feeling of being inexplicably tired. Before I knew what I was doing, I was lying down and closing my eyes.

**(Infirmary, Normal POV)**

"So they're ok?" Elizabeth looked to the two human men lying in the beds in front of her.

When they'd turned back, they'd been unconscious, though Carson was now confirming that there was nothing wrong with them and they'd just fallen asleep. They'd changed back in a flash of white light, with seemingly no problem what-so-ever. One minute, there were two cats on the alter, the next there were two pajama-clad men laying half on the alter.

And because it was shining blue, Radek ran some quick test and found out there was no trace of the toxin, so it was safe to touch them. They regained consciousness on the way back, and the first thing McKay started doing was ranting non-stop all the way back

Shaking his head, Carson looked up at her and smiled. "There's no trace of the toxin. They seem to be back to normal."

John growled, then cleared his throat as everyone turned to him. He had the sense to blush as he sat up. "So, uh... Is it ok for us to go now?" His stomach chose that time to growl, loudly, and Elizabeth covered her mouth briefly, to conceal the smile. "Sorry."

Carson nodded and smiled openly. "Sure. You've got a clean bill of health. Just...come back to see me, if you feel the urge to eat catnip, purr, or bite someone in training."

Narrowing his eyes, John raised an eyebrow. "It's not my fault Dr Carsewell found some catnip in the supplies, or that he decided he needed to sneak it into our food."

_That_ had been amusing, to say the least. Elizabeth thoroughly enjoyed watching John stare at blank walls for an hour, before he decided his tail was evil and had to die. She'd even managed to get video of him playfully attacking McKay, and the corresponding cat fight that ensued.

"Carsewell's on inventory duty. You won't be seeing him for a while." Rodney was fiddling with the little orange booties Katie had brought him as a present. To help him remember their fun time together.

John decided he owed Rodney one for that, but for now. "Good, I'm so hungry, I could eat a-"

"Canary?" Rodney piped in with half a smirk as he didn't even look up.

"I tawt I taw a putty tat." Elizabeth chimed in.

"You did, you did taw a putty tat." Carson added with a chuckle. "In fact, you taw two of tem." Shaking his head, he turned and walked off.

John sighed and knew the cat-puns were far from over. Jumping off his bed, he contemplated hiding in his room for a while, but then knew that it'd be in his email, either way. "I'm gonna go get something to eat. I think its roast beef, today."

"Oh, really?" Rodney suddenly looked up, and after a second's hesitation, stuffed the booties in his pocket before getting up and walking over. "You know, I think I'm hungry too."

"I'm not surprised." Turning to Elizabeth, John raised an eyebrow to find her staring at him intently. "Elizabeth?" When he saw he'd snapped her out of her thoughts, he smiled a little. "Wanna join us?"

She seemed to debate for a moment, but then nodded. "Sure." She started walking towards them, then stopped. She raised an eyebrow and her eyes openly scanned their bodies a moment before she folded her arms over her chest. "But, um...maybe you should get changed, first?" Her eyes lingered a little longer on John's body.

Looking down, he realized he was still in his boxers and t-shirt, and felt his face warming up. "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea." Spotting McKay rushing out of the room ahead of him, he shot a smirk to Elizabeth before walking out a lot more leisurely.

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Hope you like it

Written November 21, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	51. Mind Control

**Dorothy** - Sorry about the delay. I was on a bad connection and only just got back to my computer. Here's the next chapter. Yes, Rodney does seem the type to try and be Rodney, no matter what form he's in.

**Sparklyshimmer2010** - Well, I don't know. Some people might see it as just friendship, you know? I guess it depends on the person. LOL, glad you liked it. :)

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Hm, I think Carsewell is either a combination of existing characters' names, or an OC more or less. I kind of pick random names for some of the characters, and don't really pay attention to it, so... LOL

**Merrygal** - Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Well, I was referring to him being a soldier, who loves to spar and work out and such, but I'll go back and fix it. Thanks for pointing that out.

**Debbie418uk2** - Oh, oops. I didn't even notice. LOL Hm, well, it's Katie. I figured if Rodney could be swayed, Katie would be the one to do it. It was a little too silly at points, but I was going for silly humor. I've done so many John gets badly hurt ones, that this one almost seemed like a slight relief and change, you know? Ahh, Lorne has the gene, yes, but I don't remember having him touch the altar. Oh yeah, I just went back to fix the errors, and I saw that. No, I didn't really think of Lorne, but I'd have to rewrite several parts (I think), if I were to have him change.

Ginger is a good idea, but I remember that in some episodes, Rodney seemed to have brown hair (like dark brown), and in others it seemed like he had blonde. I think I was going along the golden brown idea at the time.

**Jasminesmommy** - Glad you liked it :)

**Shadows-of-Realm** - Thank you :)

**x Varda x** - Hm, well, it depends. I don't think John would have minded, considering who was stroking him.... (Realizes how that sounded) Um, you know what I mean. LOL.

I'm glad you like this story so far and thank you all for sticking with me. I think I only have a few chapters left. Sorry about the late update, I've been spending all my free time at my grandfather's farm where he's got a really tempermental connection, so I can't update when I'm out there. Either way, here's the next chapter.

**Legend** :

"Talking"

_Thoughts_

_**Telepathic speaking**_

**Flashback**

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**(John's POV)**

Do you have any idea what it's like, to be able to see what's going on around you, but do nothing to change it? You can see your body moving of it's own accord, hear the words it spits out in a tone of disgust, yet you can't do anything to stop it all.

People begin to look at you like you've lost your mind, and for a brief while, you wonder if that's true. Then, you hear the laughter.

Suddenly it all makes sense.

I didn't remember it before, so I wondered why this was happening. For a while, I was convinced I was hallucinating. I mean, to suddenly walk around Atlantis, ignoring the pretty girls who said hello to me, and even ignoring Teyla as she walked by. It wasn't conscious, I was powerless to stop it all.

_What the hell!?_

The last thing I clearly remembered, our team had been sent to investigate a strange energy reading that had appeared on one of the farthest laboratories that was until recently under water.

**Flashback**

"It's damp, it's cold... I just don't see why Major Lorne's team couldn't check it out." Rodney was whining as usual as he shivered a little and rubbed his hands together. "And why's this section not heated, anyways??" Pulling out his computer tablet, he began typing furiously. "Oh. Independent power source. Hm, it seems the power's all concentrated in one area. Hang on, I'll reroute a little power to the heating system so we don't freeze down here."

"You sure that's smart?" Ronon put in as he stalked along quietly.

Teyla nodded from beside Rodney. "That could cause problems. I am not certain we should be tampering with the power source."

"Well, the computer shows the power's keeping a type of stasis unit powered up, but there's no bio sign that I can tell." Shrugging Rodney frowned. "It looks like someone just activated the control on an empty stasis pod. I don't see the harm in-what?"

"You can't mean to tell me the _Ancients_ left an active stasis pod with nothing in it?" I asked sharply with a raised eyebrow. "Doesn't that sound a little, oh, I dunno..."

"Stupid?" Ronon threw in helpfully.

Turning to him, I grinned a little. "I was going for careless, but that'll work."

"Yes, it does." Rodney frowned. "And I can stand here all day debating on the millions of reasons, while we turn into popsicles, or I can reroute the power."

"Why can't you reroute power from Atlantis' main power generator?"

"Oh, maybe because we're low on power as it is, and I'd rather not drain our _shields_ and _weapons_ for _heat_. Personally, I'd go with the empty stasis pod." McKay was tapping away on his computer. "Look, I've run some scans, there's no sign of life anywhere near but us, and there's no alien viruses or anything, that Atlantis' systems can detect."

"Ok, fine. But I really don't like this." Frowning, I wandered on as Teyla stuck with McKay. I knew Ronon was following me, and I carefully stepped over a piece of fallen debris as I shone the light on my P90 to the walls and floor. "Hey, Rodney! While you're at it, can you see about lights, too?"

"Yes, why don't I just drain _all_ the power?" Came the sarcastic reply. "There's barely enough to reroute to the heating systems, I can't power lights, too. Well, ok, I _can_ but it won't last long, and then we'll lose both lights and heat."

"Got it." With a sigh, I rolled my eyes at Ronon, who nodded with a look that stated he agreed with me. Shaking my head, I wandered around a corner and froze. _What...?_

There, dashing around a corner, was the clear ghostly image of a Wraith. I didn't say anything for a moment as I stared at where it had gone. It was all so fast, I didn't even know if I really saw it or it was a figment of my imagination.

"Sheppard?"

I couldn't help but jump a little as Ronon stood next to me, his blaster raised slightly, and a confused look on his face as he looked around. _Well, if Ronon didn't see it..._ "Nothing. Where are Rodney and Teyla?" Turning back to the corner, I was about to go back for them when I felt my body stop moving. A sudden pressure descended on my mind, and it felt like my brain was being compressed by a heavy weight.

My P90 lowered of it's own accord, and I felt my arms and legs relaxing. It was the oddest thing ever. I was looking around the hall, as if I was there, which I was, but I couldn't move. I tried to open my mouth, to tell Ronon something was wrong, but the words that came out of my mouth were entirely different from what I planned.

"You know what? Rodney was right. This is a waste of time. Come on, I'll send Lorne's team down in our place." My body began to move towards the corner, then stopped and turned around.

_What the hell's going on?! Why can't I control my own body?!_

"Something wrong?" Ronon was standing there, his eyes narrowed as he stared at me. "Ronon, I'm going back. I'm done walking around in a dark hallway that's freezing, when I can be sitting in my room, watching a movie and having a beer. Come on, I got some new movies I think you'll like. AVP. Pretty gory." My lips turned up in a half smirk.

Feeling anxiety rising in my body, I struggled to get control. It was like I felt myself moving, but my body was as still as could be.

"Sheppard..."

"Yeah, buddy?"

Ronon visibly relaxed and grinned. "Gory, huh?"

"Yup." With a nod, my body turned and walked on, turning the corner and walking _bam_ into Rodney. "Hey! Would you watch it?!" The snarl was anything _but_ me. The anxious feeling returned. "Uh, sorry. I...didn't expect that."

Rodney had fallen to the ground from our impact, and slowly got up with Teyla's help. "Geez! What crawled up your ass and died?!"

"Wouldn't you like to know." Walking past him, I felt a strange rage and nervousness fill me, along with disgust. "Come on. We're heading back."

"What?! After all I went through to get the power up and running for heat?? It'll only take a moment to heat up, and we're already this f-"

"I said we're _going_!" I heard myself shout. It was the truth, the hall was already warming, but that wasn't the reason we were leaving.

Suddenly everything shifted. My body stopped moving, and my mouth finally worked under my own control. "What the hell?!"

_**No! I won't lose to a pitiful human!**_

Jumping at the voice, I spun around, raising my P90 a little as I looked back. The others were looking at me with concern, their own weapons slightly raised, and Rodney looked unusually confused as he stared at me. I took a step back and wanted to sigh in relief when my body responded. I had control again.

But, whatever happened before... What was that? I could still feel the pressure in my mind, and it was all too familiar, but I just couldn't place it. There was no pain, just major discomfort. Frowning, I shook my head.

Maybe getting out of here was a good idea.

_**Let go.**_

The voice had turned eerily soothing, and seemed to echo through my mind. Again, I felt like I was floating, and felt my body moving of it's own accord.

_Damn it! Not again!_

Teyla's eyes narrowed dangerously, and I felt the nervousness and rage bubbling up again. "Are we going or not?" I called harshly, turning and stalking down the hall.

I was fighting again, trying to get control, but I felt a cold sensation and everything went dark.

**End Flashback**

_Now I know why the sensation was so familiar._ I thought darkly as I watched my body moving. Another marine said good morning, a very pretty one at that, and my body moved past her like she wasn't even there. _I've been through this before._

_**Ahh, so now you see.**_

I felt the presence in my mind, and my lips curved up in a sneer that was completely unlike me.

A Wraith. A Wraith here in Atlantis, in control of my body. _What the hell are you doing in my body?! What do you want?!_ It must have temporarily erased my memory.

_**What do you think?**_

Images flashed across my mind. Wraith coming to Atlantis and most of them being destroyed by our weapons. Wraith sneaking into the city, but being found and killed. One Wraith sneaking away with plans to destroy the city at the first given chance...

_**I was wounded, and hid. You came along, I sensed your mind. You will do to carry out my plans.**_

_If you destroy Atlantis, you destroy yourself, too._

_**Your people would not let me survive anyway. If I go down, I take you with me.**_

My body turned a corner and I watched as Rodney waved and rushed over. _Oh, crap! Not now!_

"John! There you are! Look, Teyla's been trying to get a hold of you all day! And you're not wearing your radio, figures. She sensed a Wraith in the city." Frowning for a moment, he rushed along side me, trying to keep up. "Well, she sensed it earlier, but she wasn't sure. Now she's sure. Hum, it seems to be down in the hall we were in before."

"Lorne's team can deal with it, then." I heard myself say in clear irritation.

"No, no, no. That's not it. They came back two hours ago, and they couldn't find anything."

_**That's because I've hidden myself well. Your people will never find me.**_

"They've gone back down to keep looking and took two teams of marines, including Teyla, since she can sense them."

_**Infuriating little Athosian-**_

"Hey!"

Stopping, I turned to Rodney as he stared at me in confusion.

"Where are you going? Oh, right, I forgot to tell you why I'm here. Elizabeth wants us in the control room, as in ten minutes ago. Come on." Grabbing my arm, Rodney tugged, stopping and looking at me when I didn't budge. "Well? Aren't we going?"

"No. We're not." Lashing out, I grabbed the back of his head and spun him so he was facing the wall before bashing his head into it. Watching as he slid down to the floor, clearly unconscious, I felt the sneer form again.

_Rodney! Oh, you are SO gonna pay for that!_

_**Relax, human. He's alive, for now.**_

Reaching down, I grabbed his collar and dragged him into a transporter behind me. "But if he doesn't co-operate, I can't guarantee how long he'll remain that way." I hit the button and the doors shut behind me.

**(Hidden Lab)**

I have no idea how long we walked. At one point, Rodney began to wake up and instead of knocking him out again, my body grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back as it dragged him off the ground.

It hurt to hear his pained yelp. His confused and hurt questions of why I was doing this. He's my friend.

"Damn it, John! What the hell's your problem?!"

I laughed. No, not _me._ My body, my voice, but the Wraith in control. The laugh was low and menacing and sent a chill through my spine. "Sorry. Sheppard isn't available." It hissed out, the words almost slurring.

Struggling even more to get control over my body, I felt a sensation of surprise, and a weird surging feeling. I couldn't name it, but I felt my grip lessen on Rodney's arm for a moment, and pressed even more, despite how exhausting it was.

"John?! Oh, god! Who are you?! What's going on??"

_**Impudent little human!**_ The voice was filled with rage, and I felt the pressure on my mind again, but this time it was more forceful and there was definite pain involved.

My mind couldn't handle it. It was almost blinding. Jumping back, mentally, I felt myself being slammed out again, with no control as my arm tightened on Rodney's and dragged him with me. It didn't take us long before we reached a small, hidden lab I'd never seen before.

"Get over there! I want you to disable Atlantis' security systems!" I hissed, pushing Rodney in the direction of the nearest console. "Then you're going to rig an overload."

There was pressure on my mind again, and I fought against it, trying to keep the Wraith out of my head. It got worse, but then it quickly left, and I felt the presence leave my body.

"Like hell I'm gonna do that!" Rodney tried to sound brave but only ended up sounding scared out of his mind. "No way!"

"Good." Taking a deep breath, I clenched my fists and looked down at them. "Rodney?"

He paused. "...John?"

"Oh, thank god! Listen, you need to let the others..." Frowning, I felt the pressure come back and grimaced as I struggled to stay in control. "Wraith, Rodney!" I managed to get out, before I felt myself being pushed aside again. _Damn!_

"Stupid little Athosian wench." I heard my voice hiss out as I locked my eyes on Rodney and stalked forward. "I thought I told you to disable Atlantis' security systems."

"And I, uh..." Swallowing visibly, Rodney took a step back. "I won't do it!" He lifted his chin in a vain attempt to look stern.

Stepping forward briskly, I watched in horror as my hand flew up and backhanded him across the face. "You'll do as I say, or pay the price!"

_He knows that if he listens, you'll kill him anyway._ I thought darkly, struggling for control over my body. _He won't listen._

_**He'll listen or be tortured.**_

"No! I won't do it!" Never the less, Rodney trembled and took a step back.

Stepping forward again, I grabbed the short blonde hairs on his head and held his face back so I could stare into his frightened blue eyes. "You really don't want to argue with me, little human." With a sudden force, I tossed Rodney aside like so much garbage, and watched as he hit the nearby wall with a resounding thud, only to slide down to the floor and lay motionless. "Pathetic."

_You can't win._ The rage this thing felt was starting to wear off on me. _Rodney can't help you now that he's unconscious. I won't help you, and no one else will, either._

_**Then I'll just blast everything I see.**_ Reaching behind me, I felt my hand grab a handgun that was tucked down the back of my pants, under my unbuttoned over shirt. _**Until I hit what I'm aiming at.**_

The presence seemed to stutter and deflate a little before fading away and then resurfacing. It was weird, like the Wraith was disappearing and reappearing. Fading in and out of existence.

_**This is unacceptable! That wench!**_

I got the briefest flashes of Teyla's mind, and somehow knew she was attempting to get into the Wraith's mind. It was probably due to the Wraith being in _my_ mind, and us being linked that way. It was distracting and weakening him.

The presence faded, and I felt myself stumble as suddenly I had control over my body again. "Ok, this is nice, but annoying. Do us all a favor, and don't come back." I grumbled as I ran over to Rodney's side. Carefully grabbing his arm, I rolled him over. "Buddy? Rodney?" His eyes were closed, and there was a deep gash on his forehead. "Oh crap!" Reaching for my ear, I remembered last minute that I wasn't wearing my radio, and instead grabbed Rodney's, tapping it and bringing it to my mouth. "I need security and medical teams to my location immediately."

Sitting back, I looked around and frowned at the small lab. It was dark, but the screens were lit up, showing there was power running through the room. And there, in one corner, was a single stasis pod, only it looked different than the type we used. No, it was the same model, I guessed, but it looked like there was Wraith tech imbedded in it.

As I watched, the pod glowed brightly and seemed to come alive.

"You can't be serious!" Jumping to my feet, I looked to where I'd dropped the gun I was holding before. Forgetting everything else, I ran over and grabbed for it, lifting and aiming it at the pod as the ice melted away to reveal a Wraith. "Oh, yeah. I should have known." _At least if he's awake, he can't easily control me._ I thought, feeling the blush as the overwhelming sense of relief ran through me.

It was scary as hell and beyond annoying to be able to see what was going on and not stop it.

"Pathetic humans. You think you can stop me?!" Raising a strange blaster, the Wraith turned to Rodney and took quick aim.

Before he could even steady his arm for the blow, I was pumping him with every bullet in my gun. I emptied the clip into him, and watched with mounting horror as he staggered and fell to his knees, but didn't collapse completely. He raised his gun again, from where it had fallen and slowly took aim at me.

Then, more shots rang out.

Jumping as the Wraith fell forward on to it's face, I spun to find Rodney sitting up and shakily aiming a pistol at the fallen Wraith. He was glaring at it, and for the first time I took in that he had his thigh holster on.

"You were armed?"

Turning to me, he winced and adjusted his position to lean against the wall, reaching up to touch his forehead. "Yeah." He answered with a frown. "Wasn't it you who used to always tell me I needed to be more prepared for just such an occasion?"

I heard what he said, but turned to the downed Wraith, where I'd been standing; looked at my fist where the back of my hand still hurt from where I'd hit Rodney, and where he was laying on the ground. Ignoring his comment, I groaned. "You were _armed_?!"

"Yes." He said it slowly, raising an eyebrow and wincing as it pulled on the gash on his head.

"You were _armed_ and you let me beat the hell out of you?!"

"You weren't you." He said simply with a small shrug, hissing and clutching at his stomach. "I wasn't about to shoot you."

"Have you ever heard of _bluffing_, Rodney??" Rolling my eyes, I groaned loudly and shook my head, walking over to sit next to him. "Never mind. Listen, I..." I frowned as I looked down at my hands and the empty gun. "I'm sorry."

"Hum, let me guess. This was why you didn't want to continue on that path, before? Because it led here, to the Wraith pod?"

"I...honestly don't know." Thinking about it... "It makes sense. The lab was hidden, but we would've probably found it. I didn't think about it at the time, I just knew something kept telling me I didn't wanna go on. Not to mention, I was being controlled, though I didn't realize that at the time."

"Explained why you were such an ass." He mused thoughtfully. "I mean more so than usual."

Slapping his arm lightly, I tried not to grin. "Gee, thanks, buddy. That means so much to hear."

"Don't worry about it." With a shrug, Rodney sighed and nudged my arm, looking at me sincerely. "I mean it. _Don't_ worry about it."

That was when the marines and nurses showed up. As soon as Carson saw us, he rushed over and checked for obvious feeding signs, and when he didn't find any, ordered two of his cute nurses to take care of me, while he took care of Rodney.

Luckily, Carson figured the injuries weren't that bad. The gash, and probably a concussion, not to mention a few bruises from hitting the wall so hard, and where my fist got his cheek. Rodney would be fine. That was a big relief.

Teyla and Ronon came rushing our way with Lorne's team not too long after, having found nothing where they were and hearing my call. They were also all right. That, too, was a relief.

"Sir, if you could come with us, please." One of the nurses said quietly.

Turning to them, I recognized the girls as two of the people who said 'hi' to me earlier. Two I'd ignored coldly, while not being able to control my body. I bit my lip and tried not to grimace. _Oh, boy. I've got a lot of explaining to do._

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	52. Zombie Night Horror

**Dorothy** - LOL, Yes, Rodney can be a little... What's the word? Reckless?

**Shadows-of-Realm** - I'm not sure I'd call this funny, really, but I wanted to try something different. So I figured, instead of physical harm to John, have him being mind controled and hurting at least one of his friends.

**Jasminesmommy** - Because it's _John Sheppard?_ LOL. I think everyone and anyone likes to hit on him... I mean pick on him... LOL.

**x Varda x ** - LOL I had to laugh at your review. "You hurt McKay! ...Thank you!" LOL. You're welcome? That was what I was going for, emotional hurt.

**Debbie418uk2** - I wanted to add that in after your review, but the only line I could think of was the one you sent, and I figured I wouldn't since it's your line and I didn't want to steal it. LOL. I tried to check over this one, as it's an older one, and I hope everything is ok with it.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - Oh, yeah, forgot all about Caldwell. Hm, I think I thought of Carson and Caldwell after you asked me who Carsewell was. LOL. No, just a random name/name-combination I thought up. Same will go with some of the characters in this chapter, that you might not recognize.

Glad you guys liked it. Here's the next update.

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**(P3X-771, Normal POV)**

"Why exactly do we always get the retrieval missions?" Rodney glared at the ground as he stepped over a tree stump and nearly fell through a small, covered hole. Luckily, Ronon grabbed his shoulder and pulled him aside. "Thanks. I mean seriously, they have their best team tromping through the woods, as if we didn't have anything better to do!"

"Rodney, we _don't_ have anything better to do." John stated in his usual drawl.

Hesitating for a moment, Rodney raised an eyebrow before cocking his head to the side. His expression almost wanted to say that, yeah, John was right. Then he seemed to think better about it. "Speak for yourself. I, for one, have tons to do."

"Inventory and week-late reports don't count."

"Dr Weir's last contact with SGA-17 seemed to give her the impression they were in danger, and in need of help." Teyla spoke up finally, her eyes focused on the imaginary path the team was following.

John nodded and turned, stopping as he held up his hand. "Yeah, I saw it. They were being attacked by a bunch of really pissed off looking farmers." He seemed to pause for a moment. "Come to think of it, how are four guys with P90s, C4, and handguns outmatched by a small group of farmers with _pitchforks_ and _knives_??"

Hearing John muttering out loud to himself, Rodney's eyes widened and his face paled. "They were up against _that_ and couldn't take it? Oh god!" He began to pace on the spot. "What if the farmers had ancient shield devices or something, or maybe they were really androids and the guns didn't phase them, or..." He snapped his fingers furiously. "What if they were replicators??"

Staying calm, John regarded Rodney coolly, as if none of this really bothered him. "Rodney...? Did your scan show any life signs?"

Rodney quickly pulled out the hand held scanner and began looking at it. Holding it up, he turned it this way and then that, but frowned. "No. In fact, I'm not getting any life signs but our own."

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation." Turning back around John began back off into the woods.

**(Else Where)**

"Intruders."

"They can't make it to the facility. You! Take a team and stop them!" There was a pause. "...And if you can, save their bodies. Like the others, they can serve a purpose."

The room was heavily shadowed, and many forms stood in the middle of it. Two of the dark forms turned and left the room, and lights flashed briefly from a console, illuminating the faces of four people, four men, dressed in Atlantis uniforms. Their faces were exceptionally pale, dark circles having formed under their eyes. One had a gash across his temple that was still bleeding, and another had lost his arm in battle, the wound still pouring fresh blood.

Yet, the four of them stood there, moving out of the way as their leader walked past. Their eyes were blank and glazed, and none of them breathed. They were no longer alive, but simple puppets.

_Yes, my puppets will help me succeed where I have failed before._ _Hmm_..._ On Second thought..._ "You four..." Turning to the Atlantis team, the leader grinned maliciously as he walked over. "You will go and deal with our intruders personally." _Lets have some fun._ Turning back to a computer control panel in the dark, he chuckled quietly to himself and typed a command into it, ordering his other troops to return.

**(With the Team, John's POV)**

"How long have we been walking? Can't we take a break, just for a few minutes? Look, my legs are killing me, and I'm starving!"

Growling, Ronon looked about ready to put Rodney out of our misery, but instead he stomped off to the edge of the forest and looked out. "We're here." Pointing out, he glanced back briefly. "There's a village out there." Turning back, his eyes narrowed. "Looks abandoned."

"Well, maybe everyone's just in a meeting or something." I walked forward and stood next to Ronon. "Wait, what's that?" Pointing briefly to a black object on the ground, I grabbed my binoculars from my pack and raised them to my face. "Damn! It looks like the remains of one the packs from our men." Lowering the binoculars again, I looked around before sighing. "Well, come on. We might as well see if we can't figure out what happened."

"Oh, yes. Let's walk _towards_ the obvious trap."

Glaring back at Rodney, I raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a better idea?" I saw him opening his mouth and held up a hand. "On second thought, I don't wanna know. We're going. Or do you wanna be the one to return empty handed and explain to Elizabeth why we turned tail and ran at the sight of a pack on the ground at the edge of an _abandoned_ village?" _Although sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't be the smarter route, considering walking towards it usually leads to an ambush or trap of some sort._

Pausing at that, Rodney glared at me but took a deep breath and stalked off ahead of us, through the tree line and towards the village of straw huts, and the fallen pack. Being the first one there, he stopped for a moment and simply stared at it.

"Are you waiting for it to get up and tell you a story, McKay?" I asked calmly as I sidled over and picked it up. Promptly, I dropped it again with a grimace. "Wha...?" Looking at my hands, I felt my eyes widen.

Blood.

Lots of it.

"Oh, that can't be good." Rodney had turned a little green, and if the situation wasn't so dire, I probably would have made a joke about competing for the new 'Jolly Green Giant', though Rodney would have a lot to make up for, in the 'jolly' section. ...And the 'giant' section.

"So? We knew they were either hurt or dead." Ronon looked less than impressed and he pulled out his blaster, making a show of setting it to stun, before I could even open my mouth.

_Good boy._ It was right on the tip of my tongue, but I knew saying that out loud was basically a death sentence, when dealing with Ronon. Instead, I nodded pointedly and looked down at the fallen pack. _Though I do have to admit, I've got him trained well._

"What do we do, now? We are fairly certain at least one member of their team is injured. We should proceed with caution."

"Yeah. Let's split up into groups, we can cover more ground. Ronon, you're with Teyla. Rodney, you're with me."

**(In the Woods, Normal POV)**

Four shapes moved swiftly, barely making a noise as they rushed through the forest. Blood streaked down their forms, and their injuries had yet to stop bleeding, but that, and the occasional snapped twig, was all they left in their wake. They had no projectile weapons on them, having lost them in their initial run from the locals of this planet or had them stripped by their earlier captors, but they did still have their hunting knives, and two of the men had them drawn, the steel blades glimmering in the faint sun, almost thirsting for blood.

Not a word or glance was exchanged. They avoided running into each other with ease, as if being able to sense they were there. Their eyes never met, never strayed from their intended path as they finally made their way to the edge of the woods, looking out over the village SGA-1, Sheppard's Team, were now searching. It was almost as if none of them knew the others were there.

Dull eyes widened and almost seemed to flicker with emotion, but it did not last long. One man grinned and licked his lips, his thirst for battle already taking precedence. Another stayed back, half hiding behind a tree as he stared at the forms of Rodney McKay and John Sheppard, who moved from one investigated hut to one that was not yet investigated.

Finally, after several moments of just watching, the four men dispersed into groups of two. One group went through the woods even more silently then before, making their way around the village. The other two went forward, quickly making their way to the hut their former Colonel had just entered.

Suddenly, they stiffened. Their eyes glassed over even more before clearing back into what was becoming their usual dullness. They had received new orders.

**(With Rodney and John, John's POV)**

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?" Rodney was standing by the window of the hut, frowning in worry. "I mean, I know it sounds crazy-"

"Yeah, pretty much." Staring at him a moment, I sighed. "Look, this village is abandoned, ok? How many huts have we searched now? No people, no animals, no signs of fresh food or water..." I raised an eyebrow and gave him a look I _knew_ dared him to challenge that.

With a nod, Rodney sighed and looked around the sparsely decorated hut. "What I don't get is... Why make a village and then abandon it?"

"Maybe it was a culling." I suggested, heading for the door. "Who really knows?" Opening the door, I stared in shock at the pale, almost mutilated face of... "Lieutenant Baxtor?" Before I even had a chance to react, I felt a sharp pain in my side and my legs gave out under me as another pain followed at the back of my head.

The last thing I heard was Rodney cry out in shock, then in pain, before a thud sounded, and silence.

Honestly, it felt like days before I came to. Hell, for all I knew, it _had_ been days. I also felt like I'd had a few too many, and woke up in a place that I didn't recognize. It was dark, dank, smelly, noisy... My head hurt, my stomach hurt, my side _really_ hurt, and oh, there was Rodney, lying unconscious beside me.

Scooting over beside him, I was surprised to find out I could barely crawl. The pain in my side made it almost impossible to do anything else, and when I glanced down, I could make out a wet-looking stain on my shirt. I really didn't need to touch the area to know it was blood, and that I'd been stabbed.

"Rodney!" I hissed quietly, trying not to alert our captors I was awake. "Rodney! Wake up!" Reaching out, I ignored how it pulled at my injured side, or how my vision swam. I grabbed his arm and shook. "McKay! Wake the hell up, already!"

There was a groan, and like magic Rodney was rolling over, his eyes opening heavily as he gingerly felt a small welt on his forehead. "Ow! What the hell?!"

"We were ambushed."

"Thank you Captain Obvious. Tell me something I don't already know." He spat, wincing as he sat up. Looking around, he raised an eyebrow. "And where the hell are we?"

"I don't know." I probably could have made the perfect comeback at that moment, but I wasn't really feeling up to it. My head was still swimming, and I still felt like I had the king of all migraines.

"Hey, you ok?"

"I've been stabbed." I tried for a casual shrug, but hissed and groaned as it pulled at my side and a fresh wave of pain came over me. "Ok, remind me not to shrug."

"Oh." Rodney was quiet for a moment. "You ok? No, wait, dumb question. Uh, what about Ronon and Teyla?"

"Not here."

"You think they were captured, too? I mean, if they weren't they're out there and can probably help us, right?"

"Like I said, they're not here. Who knows?"

The sound of footsteps alerted us both to the approach of our captors, and Rodney scooted over beside me. It was hard to tell if it was for the comfort of being near a friend, or if he was trying some half-assed attempt at protecting me, or what. Either way, his company was appreciated.

The cell door opened, and we realized it was a cell when the light, however dim, from the hallway shone in. The walls of the room were covered in red veins, and material similar to what you'd find on a Wraith Hive ship. Strangely, the room reminded me of the underground cells that held the eggs containing the Iratus bug hybrids we found, from Michael's experiments.

Two figures stepped inside, and in the dull light, I recognized them as Lieutenant Baxtor, who'd stabbed me earlier, and Captain Dunigan, another of our marines. Baxtor's face was pretty cut up, and was still bleeding freely, though he looked like he'd gotten those injuries some time ago. His face was white as a sheet, and his eyes were dull and emotionless. Dunigan's face was also white, and he too had dull, emotionless eyes. He carried a stab wound in his chest, and I could see he would have been killed instantly by the blow, as it was bleeding bad enough to suggest going right through to the heart.

_But… That doesn't make sense. If he was stabbed in the heart, he'd be dead. How is he standing here?_ Taking another look at Baxtor's injuries, I winced deeply. _He doesn't look like he should be walking around so relaxed, either._ "What the hell is going on?!" I demanded as loudly and firmly as I could, despite the pain in my side.

There was no answer. Hell, neither of them even looked like they could hear me.

"I guess we know what happened to our guys." Rodney muttered, his eyes widening as he stared at our men. "It's like they're zombies, or something."

"That's because that is precisely what they are." Came an overly familiar voice.

I think both our heads snapped in the direction the smooth voice came from as another figure entered the room. As he stepped into the light, I felt my heart plummet to see Michael himself standing in front of us. He was still the same as the last time we saw him. A human-Wraith hybrid of our own creation, thanks to the retrovirus.

"Hello, Colonel Sheppard. Dr. McKay. I trust you have been well?"

"Michael. I should have known. I've been better." I answered dryly, gingerly pressing my hand above the stab wound.

He nodded, though he didn't really seem all _that_ bothered by it. "Ah, yes, I trust you will forgive me for that. They were only meant to subdue you, but Lieutenant Baxtor has an…unusual thirst for blood. The knife was not intentional."

"I'm sure."

"I am serious. Having you injured hampers my plans, as they involve a lot of experimentation with the two of you." He gave a Wraith-like grin. "After all, I have been successful in finding the perfect warriors, now I am in the process of converting them without damaging their memories."

_If he's damaged their memories… He probably doesn't know the gate address to Atlantis._ Frowning, I stared at them. "And you really expect us to cooperate?"

"You will be first, and if you resist, we will simply have to torture Dr. McKay, here."

_Damn!_

"Whoa, no! Leave me out of this!" Rodney was glaring at him. "I refuse to be part of your sick experiments!"

I nodded in agreement with him, gritting my teeth as my vision spun and a headache became pronounced. Glaring at Michael, I swallowed heavily against nausea. "Where…are the rest of…my team?!" It was starting to get harder to focus, but I refused to give in.

Now Michael frowned. "I am…uncertain. They were meant to be captured as well, but your other two marines failed to report back with them." His eyes narrowed. "No bother, they are of little consequence, now that I have the two of you. Your friends, _if_ they are still alive, will never be able to-"

A blast suddenly rocked the room, and he spun towards the door and P90 fire rang loudly in the halls.

"You were about…to say?" I questioned lightly, smirking a little from my spot on the floor. Leaning back against the wall, I stared as he spun back to me and took a step forward.

Then he paused. "This cannot be! How could they have found us?!" Turning his back to us, he gestured to the two marines at the door. "Finish them!" With that, he strolled quickly out of the room.

Baxtor and Dunigan walked forward slowly, grabbing their knives. Each one of them fixed their gaze on one of us, Baxtor on me and Dunigan on Rodney.

"Hey! Guys, come on! It's us!!" Rodney had gotten up at this point.

"McKay! Stay back!" I ordered, struggling to get up. A sharp pain shot up my side and I couldn't help but cry out as my legs gave out again. Everything spun and my side burned, but I tried to stay focused on the two zombies heading our way.

The P90 fire was getting progressively closer, and it rang out almost constantly.

The zombies were almost on top of us. Unarmed, we were no match for them, especially with me in the shape I was in. I tried to scramble back, but gagged as pain and nausea overwhelmed me.

Suddenly, P90 fire rang through the room, and the two bodies jerked violently. They remained advancing, however, as if not noticing it, but after several shots, they slowly collapsed.

"What the hell?! It's like they barely even felt the shots!" Rodney's eyes were wide and his face white. He was trembling a little as Dunigan collapsed at his feet, and took a step back.

"John! Rodney!"

Teyla was the first to rush into the room, followed quickly by Ronon, Lorne, and Carson.

"Colonel, sir, we've got the compound secure." The Major saluted me before kneeling to check the bodies, wincing as he recognized the men.

"Good." Nodding a little, I swallowed and gestured with my free hand to the bodies. "What the hell was up with them?" I couldn't help but wince as Carson immediately began prodding the stab wound.

"They were zombies, sir. Michael used a virus on the living bodies, then killed them, and the virus kept their bodies mobile." A young female scientist entered the room with a frown and a pale face. "The virus preserved the body and allowed him to install and activate a chip in their brains that gave them simple commands."

"Basically, undead killing machines, sir. Being dead already, it takes a lot more to take these guys down once and for all." Lorne's face was filled with regret.

"It appears that was what happened to the civilians here, too." The scientist was typing quickly on a computer tablet. "It's all here in his database." She looked up and at Rodney. "I managed to safely download it for you, Dr. McKay. I figured you may want the information."

"And how'd you find us?" I asked, before McKay could launch into one of his excited rants.

"Private Tenner, sir. Somehow he managed to regain some sense long enough to tell us where to find the compound, before the chip exploded in his head. Apparently this was a side effect that Michael was a little worried about, but it happened so rarely, that if wasn't a major factor. Something about part of the brain managing to store memories and emotions, and being able to stay alive, in a sense. I'd have to read more, to understand it fully." She was staring in deep focus at the screen in front of her.

"Right. Tell me later." Grabbing Carson's arm, once he was done examining me and lecturing me about being stabbed, he helped me up and steadied me. "Lets just...go home." I gestured for Lorne to take over, concerning the bodies of our men, though this was something I felt like I should do myself. I just couldn't take anymore. I was so tired, and sore, I was sure I was going to pass out any moment.

I figured, as soon as I was a little stronger, I could take care of everything that would be required, involving letting their families know, and getting their bodies back to earth. I did feel horribly guilty, but before I could think twice, I felt a prick in my arm, and looked over to see Carson injecting me with something. Immediately, everything began to blur and the thoughts faded from my mind.

In fact, _all_ thought faded from my mind. I was conscious, but barely. I was aware of Ronon carrying me back to the gate, and wanted to protest. I didn't need to be carried! But nothing would come out of my mouth. _Later._ I thought. _I'll complain later. Right now...I think...I'll sleep..._

**(Normal POV)**

As John faded into unconsciousness, Carson sighed and looked at the others. "The stab wound isn't severe, and there doesn't seem to be signs of infection. I've sedated him because right now, more than anything, he needs to rest." Giving the rest of the team a stern look, he raised an eyebrow. "As do all of you. Come on, let's go home and get some rest." Glancing regretfully at the four dead bodies Lorne's team had gathered up, he sighed quietly and headed off.

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For a while there, I thought this was going to be a two parter. LOL

Hope you liked it.

R+R please.

Thank you

Tenshi


	53. Twisted Night

**Puddle-Jumper38** - I noticed that my muses tend to stick towards series' of one-shots, just single one-shots, and I'm trying to get myself back into working on full-length stories. LOL If my muse was still with Stargate Atlantis, I've love to attempt to put these into full-length stories.

**x Varda x ­**- Glad you liked it :)

**Shadows-of-Realm** - Huh, I never even noticed how many times I had John stabbed. I hope this one's a little better. And LOL, yeah, I had to try a little twist with the zombies.

**Jasminesmommy** - Yes, Michael's always showing up when he's least wanted.

**Dorothy** - I probably would have had two updates at that time, but I've been out of town, and my internet connection at my grandfather's farm crapped out on me. Well, here's the next update. :)

**Debbie418uk2** - I think I noticed that I did a lot of infirmary scenes at that point, and was trying for something different, so I had Carson appear at the end, out of the infirmary. I was thinking, however, that the end could have used an infirmary scene. I promise there's one here, though. LOL Glad you like it. I hope this one doesn't give it away right off the bat. :)

Here's the next update, and notice - There's about six chapters left.

I'd love to say I'm still working on Twilight fictions, but now I'm bouncing around between Twilight, Supernatural, and trying to finish off a PR fiction sequel I started over a year ago (for readers).

Thank you all for sticking with me. Hope you enjoy this. :)

I should have labelled this before, but it's a tag to **Debbie418uk2**'s 'Rodney's Really Bad Days', 'Katie's Gift', and 'Before I Sleep' from the actual episodes.

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**(Atlantis, Night time, Normal POV)**

John sighed as he walked down the hall. It was empty, but then again, it was past curfew on Atlantis. All civilians without necessary work that needed to be completed ASAP were supposed to be in their rooms, and all military personnel besides night shift were also supposed to be in their rooms. This was one case where John felt lucky he and his team didn't have to follow those rules.

Not that there was any particular punishment if you were caught up past curfew. You just weren't allowed to skip out on the next day's work, unless you had a medical reason, and Carson had to back you up on that.

As it was, John was making his way to the lunch room, his stomach grumbling quietly. Frowning to himself, he stalked into the empty room and paused a moment to look around. It was still kind of strange, the difference in the room from night, when everything was stacked or put away until the next day, and day, when people were crowding around the room, chatting. Another growl and he rubbed his stomach, walking into the next room to go to the fridge. "So what have we got tonight?" Opening the fridge door, he frowned to see a raw steak on a plate.

It was unusual to leave food uncooked, and especially for it to have been left in a fridge like that. Reaching out, his hand paused over the steak as he frowned even deeper. _Why am I reaching for it? I just had the munchies, and I really don't feel like cooking._ The urge for a steak was becoming overwhelming, quickly, but before it was too late, John retreated from the fridge and closed the door, turning instead to one of the cupboards. "Ok, maybe something not quite so heavy, then."

Opening the cupboard, he found a bag of chips and grinned as he reached for them. As his eyes landed on his hand, however, the grin quickly faded and he pulled it back, staring at it in shock and horror. "Oh, no." The skin was blue and the texture wasn't right, and it was all too familiar. "Crap!" John reached for his ear, intending to tap the radio he was _sure _he'd put on before leaving his room, only to find that his ear was empty. There was no radio. "Double crap!"

Turning, he kept his hand down by his side and walked briskly out of the kitchen, leaving the cupboard open and ignoring the reason he'd come here in the first place. He kept up a brisk pace as he walked right out of the lunch room and down the hall, heading in the direction of the infirmary. "How the hell'd this happen?! I thought Carson cured the retrovirus!" He turned the corner and stopped cold.

"John!" Teyla was walking in his direction with a warm smile, dressed only in her night clothes. "I did not expect to find you up."

_Oh, no, no, no. This is _so_ not my night._ "Uh, Teyla, hi." He shrugged and slipped his hand into his pocket, thankful he was wearing pants with pockets. "Uh, actually, I kinda had the munchies."

She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest. "And yet you are leaving the lunch room without a snack?"

"I, uh, ate it already." He tried to excuse himself. "Anyways, I should get going. Busy day tomorrow, and all that." He raised his other hand to wave, and watched as her eyes darted to it, and widened. Looking, himself, he cursed silently when he noticed a large patch on his arm that was like his other hand. _Oh, no way! What the hell?!_ "Uh..."

"Is that not..." Teyla's eyes narrowed as she seemed to look him over. "I had thought Carson reversed the effects of the retrovirus."

"He, uh... Well, I thought so too." Pulling his other hand out of his pocket, he looked between the two marks and frowned. "Listen I was just heading over to get checked out."

Shaking her head, Teyla took a step back. "You cannot be trusted." Her tone and expression were grim.

"Whoa, hey!" Raising his hands, a red blast hit a pillar just behind her, from over John's shoulder, and he spun to find Ronon aiming his blaster at him. "What the hell did I do?! Come on guys, it's still me!" _Where the hell'd Ronon come from, anyways?!_ Hearing more weapons around him, John looked around and found himself in the center of a large mass of marines who were all aiming their P90s and pistols at him. "Would you all just stop?!"

"We must take him to the brig!" Teyla called, still in her pajamas, but now holding a P90 that one of the marines had handed her.

Seeing everyone around him, pointing weapons at him, John took an involuntary step back, and watched as Ronon's hand snapped up, aiming the blaster even higher. Before he knew what he was doing, John jumped. He didn't think he'd go far, but then, the retrovirus was in effect, and he was able to jump over the heads of everyone. In fact, he jumped so high, he managed to grab the rafters with his hands, and climbed up into them, running along them and into a whole other section of Atlantis via them.

"What the hell?? How come they didn't see me as a threat last time?!" Panting a little, John looked around and found himself in an empty hall way. Jumping back down, he frowned when he landed easily and noticed that the virus had spread further up his arms. "I gotta hurry." Turning, he almost cried out in surprise as he came face to face with a Wraith. "Wha-" Shaking his head, he lashed out and punched the Wraith in the face, knocking him down. Seeing one of the standard issue pistols on the ground, he lunged for it and rolled across the floor, grasping the gun and raising it as he spun.

He didn't even look. Knowing there was a Wraith behind him, he began firing as he came up, not even taking the time to aim or check. He emptied the clip before everything came back into focus, and his eyes widened as he took in the scene before him. There was no Wraith. Standing in the middle of the battle zone with a good dozen or so holes in his chest, was Dr. Rodney McKay, looking shocked.

"What...? No, Rodney!"

Collapsing to his knees, the sightless eyes of Rodney McKay rolled back in his head as he fell to the ground, face down. There he lay motionless in a growing pool of his own blood.

"No, but... There was... There was a Wraith! I saw it!" Walking forward slowly, in a stupor, John collapsed to his own knees next to the still form. "I mean, he-he had the long white hair and everything. Jesus Rodney, what's...?" The empty gun fell from nerveless fingers. As he realized just how serious the situation was, John let out an inhuman scream and curled up in a ball, his mind looping over everything.

_The retrovirus... It was supposed to be gone. But it's not..._ He looked at his mutated hand and arm. _It's here, and everyone... They didn't trust me._ He gazed at Rodney's dead body. _But... He was a Wraith! I know it!_

"You killed him."

Jumping up in surprise, John spun to find Elizabeth holding a sobbing Katie Brown. Teyla stood at their side fully dressed and armed with a P90, and behind her, a group of marines. Despite the gravity of the situation, John was hit with the urge to flee, and spun around, stopping as he saw Ronon at the other end of the hall with another group of marines.

"How could you? He was your friend."

There was no screaming, just quiet accusation from Elizabeth, who stared at John with eyes filled with hatred.

"He was coming to tell you he trusted you!"

"You killed him!" Teyla's eyes were also filled with hatred.

Shaking his head, John looked down at the body and then towards his friends. His...former friends...? Without even realizing it, he jumped again and climbed into the rafters before anyone could react. Climbing through them, he made his way to yet another part of Atlantis.

**(Infirmary)**

"What's wrong with him?"

"I'm not certain. It's like he's simply asleep, but I can't seem to wake him up." Carson frowned as he looked down at the gurney before him. "We've managed to locate the source of the problem. It seems to be a pollen given off by a small flower. Apparently Major Lexi Manning gave him one last night."

Katie Brown was sitting in the corner of the room and frowned. "I remember that flower, but it seemed harmless, that we know of. I mean, we ran tests on the pollen and it didn't come back as harmful in any way."

Another botanist came rushing into the infirmary, holding a computer pad which he handed to Katie and left again. "Oh. It seems the pollen's sedative side effect was activated as the seasons changed."

"Seasons?" Rodney raised an eyebrow, but kept his comments to himself.

"Yes, you see, we've found that here on Atlantis, there are similar season changes. They aren't as severe, we probably won't ever get snow, but they are still there. We just exited out of what we experience on earth as Spring, and into Summer. Reports from the mainland suggest others who were given the flower have also fallen into comatose states and aren't waking up."

"Alright, so all we need to do now is synthesize an antidote."

Suddenly, the body on the gurney jumped, and the heart rate monitor beeped warningly.

"This isn't good." Turning to his patient, Carson leaned over and began checking their vitals. "Well, I guess we know he's dreaming. His heart rate's up, and his breathing has increased." Frowning, he looked at the upper left arm, and grabbed a bandage off a tray a nurse was holding. "He wasn't injured before, was he?" Wrapping the arm, Carson looked to the others.

"No." Rodney frowned thoughtfully.

"Well, he's got a nasty gash now. What the hell is going on?!"

Everyone stared down at the form on the gurney, their faces filled with worry. Elizabeth stood next to Teyla, who was leaning against the wall. Ronon was standing next to Rodney, who was holding Katie's hand, and Carson stood over their patient.

**(With John, Normal POV)**

Holding his arm, John dashed down the hall from towards the infirmary. Major Lorne had managed to get in a lucky shot, but that wasn't going to happen again. Especially not since he'd been interrupted by the approaching marines, and John knocked him out. Hearing footsteps approaching, John's eyes widened and he ducked into a room, swiping his hand over the controls and thanking whatever god there was when the door slid closed, silently.

Turning slowly, he rested his back against the door and sighed, looking at the flesh wound on his upper left arm. It wasn't serious, and he tore off the hem of his shirt to bandage it before taking a moment to look around more carefully.

Rodney's quarters.

"But… His quarters aren't on the way to the infirmary." John had the path mapped out in his head, but he frowned when he realized he'd been running all over the place, and by now probably wasn't on that path any more. "Damn!" He looked at the empty bed and felt his insides turn cold as he walked over slowly and stared at the unmade mess. His mind played over the shooting of McKay, and he shook his head forcefully when he felt tears coming to his eyes. "Not now, gotta stay in control."

"Why?"

Jumping at the surprising voice, John spun around and felt his eyes widen to see the smiling face of Rodney McKay behind him. The scientist was dressed in his usual off world uniform, and had his hands behind his back as he stood at the door.

"McKay…?" John couldn't believe his eyes. He shook his head again, feeling his heart beating painfully. "But, that's not possible."

Now Rodney raised an eyebrow. "And why not? I have just as much right to be alive as you. No, actually, you killed me." Frowning deeply, Rodney's eyes hardened. "I have _more_ of a right to live, than you do." Pulling his arms out from behind his back, he revealed the two pistols he was holding. Taking quick aim at John, he continued glaring. "I was your friend, and you _shot_ me!"

"It's not like I meant to!" John cried, taking several steps back and looking around the room. _Only one exit, and it's behind psycho McKay. Great._ "Look, I thought…" He realized it sounded stupid, but he needed to try and explain. "I thought you were a Wraith." He saw McKay's eyes darken further and swallowed heavily. "No, no! That's not what I mean. Look, I saw a Wraith, I shot it. I didn't mean to shoot you, honestly. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, so am I." Aiming again, Rodney began firing, and it was only through his new improved speed and agility, that John was able to avoid the incoming bullets. "Would you hold still?! I'm trying to kill you here."

"Yeah, and that's _why_ I won't hold still!" John dodged more bullets and glared at Rodney, trying to think of an effective way of disarming him, without hurting him. Seeing Rodney get distracted, as his doorbell chimed, John ran forward and jumped him, knocking both guns from his hands and grabbing one before backing away. "McKay, let's talk about this!" He aimed the gun carefully as Rodney grabbed the other one and slowly got up.

"Nothing to talk about." The scientist was breathing heavily. "You killed me, it's only fair I get to kill you too."

"_Fair?!_" John's eyes widened and he held the gun higher as Rodney aimed his.

"Well, looks like we got a standoff. What'cha gonna do?" Rodney glared, but also gave a dry grin. "Let me shoot and kill you, or kill me….again, and get away."

Hesitating for a moment, John knew he made a big mistake when he slowly began lowering his gun, but he couldn't do it. He was all too aware that Rodney could and probably would kill him, but he couldn't bring himself to shoot his best friend again, not even to hurt and disarm him. He heard the other gun fire, and felt the searing agony as the bullet entered his leg. Screaming in pain, he collapsed, dropping the gun, ignoring when it fired as it hit the ground, and grabbing his leg as he struggled to breath through the nauseating pain that echoed through him.

Blood rushed between his fingers, and he knew the bullet had exited the other side from seeing the second hole. Looking up at the sound of a dull thud, his teary eyes widened as he made out the blurry form of a stocky body hitting the ground a little ways away from him. _No…_ "RODNEY!" He blinked a couple times, trying his hardest to clear his vision, and when he'd succeeded, he made out that Rodney had a bullet wound in his throat. _No… Not again…_

There was a beep and the door to Rodney's room slid open with a hiss, revealing heavy mist on the other side, and a single figure.

**(Infirmary**)

"Get that wound wrapped, stat! I need blood transfusions, now! He's loosing a lot of blood!" Carson was holding a formerly white dressing to John's leg, which was bleeding profusely. "What the hell's going on in his head?!" The dressing was soaked through, and John was thrashing around on the bed. He kept crying out 'No!' and 'Rodney!'.

It had taken some mulling around, but Rodney had come up with the theory on how John was suffering gunshot wounds in his sleep. There was always the theory that if the mind believed a wound was real enough, it could actually happen. Sure, it seemed like heresay and myth, but on Atlantis... In another galaxy... Well, obviously, anything was possible.

John was locked in a dream he had to believe was real. As such, any wound he received in his dream, his body actually sustained.

It was all a little too confusing and eery for Elizabeth, Teyla and Ronon, so they kept their questions to themselves as they struggled to help out in any way they could.

Teyla was holding one of John's arms down, and Ronon on the other side. Elizabeth was doing her best to hold down his legs, but it took Zelenka's help to hold them completely still. Rodney was holding on to John's stomach, trying to keep him as still as possible.

Hearing his name, Rodney's eyes widened in shock before narrowing in confusion. "Somehow I just know I _don't_ wanna know what he's dreaming of." He muttered barely loud enough for the others to hear.

"I've given him the antidote, we just need to get him to realize it's a dream!" Carson called, taking a dressing from a nurse at his side, and pressing it firmly over the wound. "We need to keep him still enough for me to make sure there's no artery damage."

It had taken them an hour to synthesize the antidote, once they were able to safely get the baseball-sized flower out of John's room. Having given it to him through his IV, they waited for it to take effect, but not long after the shot, he'd began thrashing and screaming. They all tried calling to him, to tell him it was a dream, but he seemed not to hear them.

"Rodney, you need to talk to him!" Elizabeth called, having formed an idea. There'd been a minute reaction when Rodney called his name. It wasn't much, but it was more than what he showed to everyone else, combined.

"What good's that gonna do?"

Sighing loudly, she raised an eyebrow. "It's a theory that people who are in a deep sleep, or even a coma can still hear the people talking to them. The way he's going on, something bad must've happened to you in his dreams. He's not responding to any of _us_..."

Rodney felt kind of awed that John cared that much about him, but literally scared to find out what happened to him in his dreams. "Uh, Colonel?" He hesitated and looked into the pale and sweaty face of his best friend. _God, I've put him through so much hell, how does he put up with me??_ "John, I'm here! It's Rodney, I'm ok! John, it's just a dream, you need to wake up!"

John cried out Rodney's name again and thrashed around even more

"Damn it John, wake the hell up!! It's just a dream! It's not real! I'm right here! I'm ok! Wake up, Sheppard!"

**(With John)**

"Wake the hell up! It's just a dream! It's not real!"

The figure in the door was shadowed by blinding light behind them, but they were of average height and stocky build. The mist was slowly fading, and John stared in shock as he heard the words. "It's feels pretty damn real to me!" He called back, gasping in agony and staring through his teary eyes at the fallen body before him. "Rodney…" It was just a sob as he clutched his leg and let his head drop.

"I'm right here! Wake up, Sheppard! It's Rodney!"

His head came up quickly, and he opened his eyes. There, in the door that was now clear of mist and bright light, stood Rodney. Unharmed, and not quite so psycho-looking. He looked upset and panicked, and he held out one hand.

"It's just a dream, you need to wake up!"

_Just…a dream…?_ Well, it did kind of make sense. John realized he was no longer showing signs of the retrovirus, and after thinking about it, he'd killed McKay. Twice. And yet, there he was, standing in the door way as if nothing had happened.

"Come on, you gotta wake up, John!"

Closing his eyes against a massive headache, John groaned and let his head drop once again.

**(Later, Infirmary)**

Sitting up in bed, John winced as it pulled at the stitches in his leg. Frowning at the injury, he looked around, thankful that he was alone. _I killed Rodney. Twice, in my dreams._ Some part of him knew that it only happened because it was a constant fear that Rodney would get injured, if not killed, because of him, but it didn't lessen his guilt any. _I killed him. Twice. I shot him._

"Good evening, Colonel. I see you're awake." Kate Heightmeyer walked into the room and smiled at him. Seeing his face, however, her smile faded. "Is something the matter?"

"I killed Rodney, twice, in my dreams." John spoke the words out loud, not sure whether he meant to, or it was just automatic. "I didn't mean to. The first time I saw a Wraith, at least, I thought it was a Wraith. The second time, he shot me, I dropped the gun and it went off as it hit the ground."

"Neither of those are your fault, Colonel." Sighing, Kate walked over. "I spoke to some of the other people who fell victim to the pollen and they all had one thing in common. You know what that was?" She paused for a moment. "Some of their worst fears playing out in their dreams. Three people died, John." She patted his shoulder. "It's not your fault."

"I still killed him."

Pausing for a moment, Kate looked thoughtful, then smiled again. "Well, I hear Carson is going to let you out today. How about when you get back to your room, have Rodney over for a movie? Just sit back and hang out with your best friend. Let the pain go, and just let yourself realize that Rodney is alive. None of that happened, and it's not going to."

"Barring Wraith mind-control, or some kind of hallucinogen or something. Or a freak accident."

Frowning at John, Kate handed him his radio from the small tray next to his gurney. "Call him. Sit with him and watch a movie." She made it out to be pretty much an order. "If you're still having problems with this tomorrow, I want you to come see me, ok?"

John looked at the radio and hesitated. "I dunno-"

"Colonel, do it." Her tone brooked no argument, as she held out the radio.

Taking the radio, John sighed and put it in his ear, hitting the button as Kate smiled a little, patted his shoulder and left. "Hey Rodney, what'cha doing tonight?" Maybe Kate was right. Besides, he really could use a good movie, and it was always nice to watch one with Rodney, despite his constant grumbling. "I got the 'Son of the Mask'."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

Written October 20, 2008

I was going for more serious, and trying to put more emphasis on John and Rodney's friendship.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	54. HideAndGoSeek

**Jasminesmommy** - Yeah, that's what I was going for. Something a little different. It _was_ initially supposed to be either zombies or a nightmare, but I did zombies already, and this is what came out.

**x Varda x **- Thank you :) I wanted to point out it was a dream, without making it totally obvious right away. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

**XX-Samantha-XX** - I'm glad you enjoy them. :)

**Shadows-of-Realm** - Well, I tried to add a little to the story to explain that. I've heard of theories (they might be completely fictional, I heard them years ago from a place I don't remember), that if a mind believed an injury it suffered was real enough, then it could certainly happen. Ok, so bullet wounds might be pushing it, but I believe the mind can be capable of things we haven't even discovered or fathomed yet. Thank you for pointing out that I hadn't explained that. I'm hoping the little addition I made to the chapter helps future readers to understand it a little better.

And I'm sorry if the dream sequences were confusing. I was going for somewhat abstract. How John had the retrovirus when it was cured, and how his team didn't trust him, and how Teyla got dressed and a weapon in seconds flat. Or how Rodney died and came back as evil Rodney, only to die again. I'm not sure if I can explain them any better.

**Puddle-jumper38** - Hm, I think he'd be freaked and need some time to think it through. That and he'd not go anywhere near John when he's wielding a gun, or near Wraith. I think that, later seasons Rodney would be a bit more understanding. He'd realize that John never _meant_ to hurt him, you know?

**Debbie418uk2** - Hm, I could have explained that better. I meant more for all the civilians and most of the scientific staff, who need to be wide awake for their shifts. When it gets dark, I always imagined the city would have a skeletal crew watching over it, as everyone else got rested up for the next day. A night shift, of course, but most of the people sleeping.

I did notice the 'Katie's Gift' similarity, and I wasn't sure if I should put it as a tag, because of the differences? I'll do it just to be safe. I didn't really think too much about 'Before I Sleep', but you're right. I put the tag in to be safe.

Well, for me, the twist was that Rodney _didn't_ die in the end. LOL. No, that's mean. I wouldn't _actually_ kill him off.

About five more chapters to go.

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John covered his eyes and frowned as he stood with his face towards a tree. For a moment, he hesitated.

"I can't hear you!"

He had to bite his lip to keep from smiling. Taking a second to compose himself, he took a deep breath and turned around, dropping his hands and staring at the person standing a few feet away. "Come on, do I really have to do this??" He put some whine into his voice, though honestly, he didn't mind at all. "There's gotta be better-"

"No!" The young boy across from him frowned and shook his head quickly. "I like this game!"

_Of course you do._ Giving a forced put upon sigh, John shook his head and turned around, grinning once his back was to the boy. Putting his hands over his eyes, he started counting. "One...two...three...four..."

Behind him, Jin turned and dashed off into the woods. He knew that he wasn't to go far from the settlement, but he'd recently found a spot he was sure to be the best hiding spot. Racing for it, he faintly heard John calling 'Ready or not, here I come!' and picked up his pace, his laughter escaping from his mouth as he went. He dashed through the trees and ducked under low-hanging branches. Finally, he came upon the place he was searching. The very reason he didn't give John a higher number was because he didn't need to search for his hiding place.

He took a second to look up at the massive cliff in front of him. Then his gaze shifted down to the debris that a recent tremor had shaken loose. It was invisible to the naked eye, but Jin knew better. Racing forward, he climbed up on to the first boulder, then climbed down amongst the other boulders. There, there was a large opening blocked from prying eyes by a large boulder in front of it. It basically looked like a big hole in the ground. It was easy for a grown up to get into, even a big one like McKay or Ronon, so it was super easy for little Jin to get into.

"Jin...?"

Spinning in place, he giggled a little by accident, before covering his mouth and dropping down into the opening. It was farther down than he'd expected, and the last time he'd been down there, he'd had a rope attached to the boulders above to climb back up with. The ground was rocky and uneven, but this was _his_ little spot. Staying there, he knew it wouldn't be easy for John to find him, and he waited patiently, sitting down against the dirt wall and grinning to himself.

**(John's POV)**

"Huh, whered he go?" Looking around, I walked through the woods with a frown. "I'm sure I heard him giggling." Ok, so it was more a panting laughter, but, well... Stepping carefully over a log, I glanced down at the ground and grinned to myself. "Gotcha!"

Footprints in the dirt. Barely visible, and half concealed by the leaves, but they were there, nonetheless and I planned to follow them. Making my way down the dirt path, I spotted tiny broken branches on some of the bushes and more footprints in the dirt. I followed them quietly a ways before looking up and frowning again. _The cliff?_ The Athosians didn't like the children running around the cliffs since the last tremor they had. It wasn't severe, or a sign of danger, but there had been quite a tremor in the ground, and during a jumper sweep, we'd found that debris had fallen from the cliff face. Unfortunately, Jin's little footprints trailed towards the cliffs and I felt my eyes narrow in both concern and a little irritation. _They weren't supposed to go over there!_ By rights, we shouldn't even have been this close.

Taking off, I rushed forward, keeping a careful eye out for his footprints and any more broken branches. As I suspected, they led towards the cliffs and as I began to get closer, I stopped and looked around. Patting my chest, I winced when I realized I wasn't carrying my scanner. I'd made sure to keep it on me when I'd left Atlantis, but I'd taken my P90 off, along with my tac vest, back at the settlement, leaving them with Teyla. Not smart, I know, but here I thought I was just going to have a game of hide-and-go-seek.

"Jin...?" I paused and looked around, realizing with a heavy heart that the ground turned too stony to find any footprints, and there were no plants here to break the branches of. I noticed a slight indent in the wall structure of the cliff and walked forward. That's when I heard a giggle. My head shot up and I ran ahead, seeing Jin's disappearing between some boulders. _What the...?!_ I began to rush forward, when something caught my eyes, and I felt them widen.

There, in the boulders near where Jin had disappeared, were some small remnants of a Wraith dart, half imbedded in the rocks, showing it had to have been thousands of years old. Maybe it was remains from the war 10 000 years ago, I had no idea, but my heart sank some more. I tapped my radio. "Rodney, come in. Do you read me?"

There was static a moment, then Rodney's annoyed voice came through. "I'm a little busy here, Colonel. I'm in the middle of scanning... You know what? Never mind. What?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I just thought you might wanna know I found the remains of a Wraith dart by the cliffs."

Surprisingly, it was Teyla who answered. "A dart? Here?? Are my people in danger??"

"No. Teyla, relax. It looks....well, pretty old, to say the least. And there's really only a few tiny parts here."

"But what are you doing by the cliffs? I thought you were playing... What was it...?"

"Hide-and-go-seek. Yeah, I was, but-crap!" My eyes widened as I recalled Jin disappearing between the boulders. "I followed Jin here!"

"What is Jin doing at the cliffs?!" Teyla sounded pretty upset.

"Look, I'm gonna go get him. you guys might just wanna get out here and check out the remains, ok? Sheppard out!" Tapping my radio again, I ran forward and made short work of the first boulder. Looking around, I noticed numerous other boulders and frowned deeply. "Jin...?" I climbed forward unsteadily. Hopping to the next boulder, I slipped and collapsed to my knees, bashing them on the hard rock surface and hissing in pain. "Oh, man! That's gonna hurt later!" I groaned to myself. _Hell, it hurts now_! "Jin! Listen to me, we need to get out of here!"

There was a hint of a voice that sounded like it was coming from a little ways below me. I carefully looked around and climbed to the next boulder more carefully, standing up and wincing as my knees protested. "There's a Wraith ship!" I called, hoping that would get him.

"John!"

My head shot in the direction of the voice, and I hopped to the next boulder unsteadily, before quickly hopping to the one to the left. I noticed that it was like a small field of boulders that I was hopping across. Looking down, though, I noticed why it sounded like Jin's voice was coming from so far away. Grabbing my pen light from my pants pocket, I shone it down the hole and squinted. The light was weak, but I notice Jin down there, looking up at me with fear, and sighed in relief. "There you are! I thought you were told to stay away from the cliffs!" I scolded with a frown.

"Wraith?!" His voice was so high pitched and filled with fear

Shaking my head, I sighed. Then I got a better look at the hole he was in and...it wasn't a hole. It was an opening of some sort, that seemed to lead a little ways under the rocky cliff. It was quite a ways down, and from what I could make out of the ground, which wasn't much, it looked pretty uneven.

"Wraith?!?" He repeated louder.

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Then I got down flat on my stomach, or, as flat as I could, considering I was on a boulder, and held out my hand. "Take my hand."

He reached up, but his hand was still a few inches away. His eyes widened with fear and realization. "It's too far." He seemed to stretch up a little more, and his fingers brushed mine. "I... I can't reach!"

"Colonel!"

Startling a little, I pulled my hand back, and looked over my shoulder to see Teyla and Ronon climbing easily amongst the boulders, towards me. McKay was having a much harder time, but amazingly enough, even he was coming over. Well, ok. He made it to the top of the first boulder and his face turned white when he saw all the others. He just stood there. They must have been closer than I thought, since I wasn't expecting them for a while yet.

"I can't reach Jin." I told Teyla as she reached the boulder next to me. Looking down into the opening, I locked eyes with Jin. "Ok, stand back, I'm gonna come down and help you." When he obediantly moved back, his shoulders bowing as Teyla didn't even wait for him to get out of the hole to berate him for coming to the cliffs, I jumped down, wincing and crying out in shock as I went over on my ankle. Unfortunatly, I hadn't realized the ground was covered in sharp rocks, or the big stone I landed on until I went over sideways. It was such an odd feeling. It hurt like hell, but at the same time, I couldn't move my ankle. I could see my foot laying there limply as I struggled to move my ankle, and panicked quietly.

Then it moved. Just a little, and it was almost completely numb, but it moved. I felt the relief wash through me and sighed a moment in relief, spotting Jin crouching beside me with a worried look. "It's ok." I stated quietly to him, forcing a smile as I moved my ankle a little more. The pain faded to a dull ache, and the numbness refused to fade, but moving it meant it probably wasn't broken, so you can imagine my relief.

"John!"

Looking up at the sound of Teyla's voice, I waved my hand as bright lights flashed into the hole. "I'm ok!" I called, hissing as I grabbed a sturdy surface on the all and slowly stood up right. _Great._ For the briefest second, I thought I saw a shimmer of light, but pain shot up my ankle, and I winced, leaning on the wall for support. _This was gonna be hard enough to begin with_. "We're gonna need some rope!" I could lift Jin, sure, but then how was I supposed to get out of here?

Ronon crouched down on the boulder I'd been standing on before, and reached his hand down, even as Teyla pulled back enough to call Captain Erickson and get them to bring some rope out. "Can you lift him?"

Nodding, I limped over, trying to ignore the blinding pain that shot up my ankle with every step, and stood behind Jin. I took a moment to figure out how far Ronon was from us and I crouched down, putting my hands on Jin's hips. "Reach for Ronon's hand when I lift you, ok?" I instructed him before taking a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I grunted and groaned as I lifted. Jin wasn't heavy, but my ankle was threatening to give out under me. I managed to get him up, and I felt his weight lift out of my hands. Letting him go, I leaned agains the wall and panted, my head swimming even as I lifted my ankle off the ground.

"Got you." I heard Ronon say triumphantly.

Looking up, I watched as he put Jin down beside him, and the little Athosian boy hopped over to join Teyla, who hugged him tight and once again scolded him for taking off as he had. Then, a strangely familiar growl behind me caught my attention. "...Oh, crap!" Spinning in place, I watched as a Wraith raced out of the darkness, his feeding hand extended towards my chest. "Crap!" I grabbed my handgun and took quick aim, shooting him twice in his hand and ducking and rolling out of the way as he screamed and kept running at me. Coming up against a wall, I winced and laid there, unable to see clear enough to move. My ankle screamed in protest and tears came to my eyes, blurring my vision even worse. _Ok, not a simple sprain then._

I felt something hit my hand, and yelped as it both startled me, and hurt enough to cause me to lose my grip on my gun. I heard it clatter some distance away and focused just in time to see the Wraith bending down, his feeding hand raised to strike at my chest.

"Sheppard!"

I got a good look at the Wraith, and noticed it seemed older and thinner than the others I'd seen. It hit me he must have been from the dart, but then, how had he lasted so long without feeding? The Athosians hadn't mentioned any of their people going missing, or dying mysteriously. If he'd come from a recent ship or the space gate, there would have been a culling, I was certain.

He raised his hand and snarled as he gripped tightly at my shirt, holding me in place. I raised my hand and gripped his which was holding on to my shirt, even as my other hand shot out and intercepted his other hand, which had shot towards me. We stayed like that, grappling, him to feed and me to live...

A blast of red lit up the opening, and something flashed out of the corner of my eye, even as the Wraith grunted in surprise and pain and fell to the ground next to me, dead. Glancing over, there was a small panel half buried in the dirt wall. It was dark and seemed dead, but it reminded me of the control panel of a Wraith dart.

"Sheppard, you ok?" Turning, I watched as Ronon dropped gracefully into the hole, not tripping over anything, and he stalked over to me, his blaster raised at the Wraith. Once he was at my side, he brutally kicked the Wraith away from me before turning to me. "Where'd he come from?" He held out his hand.

Taking it, I winced and hissed as I stood up, my back aching from rolling over sharp stones, and my ankle throbbing, though I kept my weight off it. "I think..." Grunting a little, I limped over to my gun, which was outlined at the very edge of the area we were in, still lit up by Teyla's flashlight, which was sitting precariously on a rock, pointing down. "I think it came from that..." I gestured to where I'd seen the panel. "The remains of the dart."

"How's that possible? I thought the dart was really old."

"Independent power source, probably." I stated with a sigh, leaning against the opposite wall. "If my guess it right, the Wraith probably hibernated in the storage device, and when it was activated, it was pre-programmed to rematerialize him."

"How was it activated?" Ronon frowned deeply, keeping his blaster half up, like he was expecting to get attacked still.

Shaking my head, I glanced up to where Teyla sat on the boulder, Jin in her lap, and both looking at us worriedly. "I don't know, but... Jin...?" I raised my voice so he could hear me. "Have you been down here before?"

He paused and shifted awkwardly in Teyla's lap, earning her a confused look, even as her eyes seemed to shine with the faintest glimmer of realization. "...Yes..."

Frowning for a moment, I nodded. "And did you touch this panel down here?"

He hesitated again before nodding. "Yes..."

"Did it light up or anything?"

He shook his head. "I...don't know. I didn't stay long. It didn't do anything when I was down here."

That made me frown even deeper. "That's true. If the Wraith was awoken when Jin touched the panel, why didn't he feed on Jin when he was down here...?" I took a good look around, trying to figure it out.

"What's going on over there?!"

Hearing Rodney's voice, I snapped my fingers. "Get him down here!" If I couldn't figure it out, maybe he could. "And where the hell's that rope?!"

Teyla tapped her radio, frowning at me, probably for my choice of language, and began speaking in it, looking for Captain Erickson.

It took longer than I would have liked for Rodney to come over, but apparently, he'd chosen to take the ground route, even though it meant slower going and climbing over smaller rocks and boulders. Finally, he made it to the hole and leaned over. "What's going on?"

"Get down here!" I called, having sat down against the dirt wall. "There's a panel down here you need to see!"

"Oh, and I'm just supposed to magically fly down there, or something?" He shot back sarcastically. "You practically broke your leg, and you're you. I'm not Ronon or you, and I like my legs functioning the way they are, just fine, thank you."

"Ok, I guess I'll just have to wait and get Radek out here, I'm sure he won't mind being the braver one."

"I'm brave!" He shouted indignantly. Looking around the edge, he frowned. "I just don't wanna be careless...or a vegetable."

"Fine, look, it's the control system to a Wraith dart." I explained, standing up and making a face before limping over to it. Taking Ronon's light, I shone it at the surface. "It's old, and I don't think there's any power left, but we're trying to figure out why it activated and released a Wraith after probably thousands of years of being inactive."

"Jin probably activated some pre-programmed system when he was down here last."

Ok, so he heard _some_ of what we'd been talking about. "Already thought of that. If he had, why didn't it attack him when he was down here earlier today?"

"Maybe he knew that if he waited, a bigger, tastier meal would come alone." Rodney stated sarcastically with a frown. "Why ask me? Look, did he activate anything when he was down here earlier? Maybe it needed him to press a certain button or something." He sighed loudly. "This would go so much better if I could see it." Seeing me opening my mouth, he glared at me. "And I'm not pulling an Indiana McKay and jumping down there."

"Look, I was here." Resisting the urge to grin, I looked back at the console. "I saw him at the far edge of the hole, right below where you are now."

"But were you here the whole time?"

"I didn't touch anything this time." Jin raised his hand timidly. "I didn't want to make any noise that would attract John to my hiding place." He sat curled up next to Teyla, leaning against her.

"Did _you_ touch it?" McKay asked, turning back to me with a raised eyebrow.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?! I don't have night vision, and I couldn't see squat down here, earlier!" Frowning for a moment, I tried to recall what happened since I'd dropped into the hole. "I came down here, hurt my ankle..." Said ankle was still aching like a pain in the ass. "Leaned on the..." Reaching out, I looked to the ground and tried to place where I was when I'd gotten up. "Wait..." Frowning for a moment, I turned, the light on the ground. Figuring out where I'd been, I reached out as I had before and found the same solid surface.

"What...?"

Turning to the surface I'd leaned against to get up, I shone the light on it and saw my hand laying directly on some of the buttons to the controls. I recalled them being the same ones that activated the beam, before. "Oh shi-"

"Colonel!"

Jumping a little, I looked up and noticed as Captain Erickson arrived with the rope. "Here!"

"John, what happened??" Teyla looked at me anxiously, waiting my answer.

Swallowing heavily, I wondered how I was going to explain that it had been me. My touch is what revived the starving Wraith.

**(Conference room, Atlantis)**

Sitting back in my seat, I sighed. "It was me. When I went down after Jin, I fractured my ankle on landing." I gestured to my raised foot which had been bandaged and was sitting on a chair at the moment. "When I reached out to grab on to the wall for support, to stand up, my hand was on the controls for the Wraith beam."

Rodney nodded, looking at a data pad. "My scans confirm that. It looks like it took a moment for the last little bit of power remaining to rematerialize the Wraith, and in that time, John had gotten Jin out of the hole, leaving him as the only available target for the starving Wraith when it came out of the storage device."

"I released it." I stated quietly, thinking of how close it had been.

"On an up note, that depleted the remaining power for the storage device and it shut down completely. It didn't even have the miniscule amount of power left to keep the bio signs in the storage unit alive, and they all died." He saw the looks of horror on our faces, and held up his hands. "No, no! That's a good thing! You see, the storage device had at least two hundred Wraith life signatures in it, and they all died."

"Too bad it took putting John and Jin's lives in danger to do so." Elizabeth stated with a frown.

Nodding a little, I looked down to my hands and stared silently, feeling horrible about what had happened. "How's Jin...?"

Teyla smiled at me when I looked up, no longer the least bit upset. "He has guaranteed us he will never go to the cliffs again, and he thanks you for saving his life." She bowed her head deeply. "As do I. Thanks to what happened, the children are even more aware of the dangers at the cliffs now, and I feel they will not go there again."

"The device..." Elizabeth frowned thoughtfully. "Did it have enough power to send out a signal?"

My heart dropped as the reality hit me that the Wraith could have sent out a signal, informing more Wraith that there was life on this planet. Two hundred Wraith might have died, but if the signal went out...

"No." Rodney shook his head. "There was barely enough power to rematerialize the single Wraith. I doubt he even had time to understand that the others were dead, or even think of sending a message before he was blasted. We're safe, and so are the Athosians."

Teyla looked greatly relieved, as her face had gone pale at the prospect that a signal could have gone out. Elizabeth smiled a little and nodded, dismissing us and ordering me to get plenty of bed rest. Ronon patted my shoulder surprisingly lightly, probably remembering I was hurt, and Teyla walked over, bowing her head next to me as I carefully got up.

Staring at her a moment in confusion, I thought she was going to speak, then it hit me what she was doing. I bowed my head and leaned my forehead against hers, placing my hands on her shoulders as she did the same to me.

"Thank you, John." She stated with a smile before turning and walking off.

Grabbing the crutches Carson lent me, I sighed and made my way slowly out of the room.

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Hope you like it.

Written November 7, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	55. Not What it Seems

**Puddle-Jumper38** - LOL I did want to go for a slight twist.

**Dorothy** - Glad you liked them :)

**Debbie418uk2** - I don't know how old Jin was. I was thinking around ten. Maybe anywhere between 8 and 12? I'm glad you liked it, I enjoyed writing that one. :)

**Jasminesmommy** - John's resourceful and brave. What can I say?

**AtlantisJoeFan** - Here's the next update. I'm glad you like them :)

I only have about 4 chapters left to post (one of which I'm not sure about, because it's definitely not one of my good ones), and then I'm done this story. Thank you all for sticking with me this long, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

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**(Normal POV)**

"Atlantis! This is jumper one, we're coming in hot!"

"Understood, jumper one! Lowering the shied!"

Trying his hardest to keep the jumper steady, John frowned in concentration as it neared the gate. Hitting a button, he retracted the side pods, and guided it in carefully, albeit quickly. Once the jumper passed through the gate, and out the other side, he sighed and sat back as he more slowly took the jumper up to the jumper bay and, well, parked it.

Getting up from his seat, he checked on Teyla, who was sporting an injured arm, and Ronon who'd had a nasty cut on his head. Rodney hadn't even been there, so he was safe at least.

"I am alright." Teyla insisted with a nod as she slowly got up, cradling her arm.

Looking to Ronon quietly, John sighed as he nodded. "Ok, You'd better get to the infirmary and get checked out. I'm not looking forward to this report."

The team split up, and Teyla and Ronon made their way to the infirmary as John made his way to Elizabeth's office for the report of how incredibly wrong that last mission had gone. Part of him briefly wondered how it was Rodney got out of it all, but it fled his mind as he climbed the stairs and saw the expression on her face.

**(John's POV)**

"Look, I said it's not my fault! How was I supposed to know that drinking the wine before the ladies was a bad thing? They didn't _say_ anything!"

We, that is, Rodney and I, were on a separate mission. Teyla and Ronon were to escort Elizabeth back to the planet we'd fled, along with a second jumper holding Major Lorne's team. Teyla only had a sprained wrist, luckily. Since I was apparently in a lot of trouble there, I'd been reassigned as an escort for Rodney, on a mission to find out what a recently located lab was for.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "It's called observing. You watch, and if others drink, you drink."

"One other guy drank." I tried to point out.

"Oh, please! I was there for the briefing, remember?"

I was trying pretty damn hard to forget.

"That 'guy' was her husband, and the _only_ man allowed to drink before her. Not even the other women are allowed to drink before her, and you're not allowed to drink until after _them_! I wasn't even there, and _I_ got it."

With a sigh, I held my hand up. "Ok, fine. Let's just drop it, ok?"

Giving me the evil eye, Rodney grinned a moment, and I had a feeling there was no way in hell he'd ever let me live this down. Still, he did drop it for the moment, probably because we'd entered the said lab.

"Well, this is….scary."

The lab was a burned out mess. Scorch marks littered the walls and consoles, and some of the said consoles were torn open. Panels held on by wires, lay hanging limply at the side of the consoles, and wires lay strewn across them wildly, some broken and some cut.

"Yeah, I'll say. Out of all the labs we've found on Atlantis, this is the first one I've seen that looks destroyed from…man-made weapons."

With a nod, I walked over to one of the consoles and pressed a few buttons. Ok, maybe not the smartest thing to do, right? But what harm could it do? The console had been under water for over 10 000 years, there was no power to the lab, and most of these consoles didn't look like they could be salvaged.

"Colonel, please! Don't touch anything! God knows what you'll activate."

"Relax, McKay. There's no power." I pressed a few more buttons, randomly. "See?"

"John, this lab's on an independent power source!"

I stopped pressing things immediately. Turning slowly, I raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't tell me this before because…?"

"I didn't expect you to get all careless…" He paused and seemed to think about it. "Ok, on second thought, you're right. I should have told you this before."

"Wow, did you _actually_ just say I was right?" I frowned as he walked over to another console. "Wait… Why do I have a feeling there was an insult in there, somewhere?"

"Hmm, probably because there was. There!" He pointed to the screen. "This screen is working, and if I'm reading this right, there's a power spike in-" His eyes widened. "John! Get away from there!"

I jumped, trying to do as he asked, but suddenly it felt like I couldn't move. A hot flash went through me, starting at my feet and working it's way to the top of my head, before reversing and going back down to my feet. It wasn't painful, but the feeling of being helpless and unable to move was a little unnerving, at the least.

After a moment, it seemed to fade, and I opened my eyes, since I'd closed them before. "Ow! McKay, what the…?" The first thing I noticed, was that there was a Wraith in the room. "Damn!" I grabbed my P90 and watched as it ducked behind a console. I took that moment to duck behind another. "Where the hell did he come from?!"

There was unintelligible sounds from behind the console it was hiding behind, but that's about all I heard.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter." I looked around the room, and finally took notice that several consoles were in semi-circle form around the one I was hiding behind. "It's not like you're gonna be here long." _Wait…_ "Oh, crap! Rodney?!" Where the hell did he go??

More unintelligible sounds.

"You know, someone should've taught you how to speak. I don't understand-" I cut it off there, wondering why I was sitting here, trying to talk to a Wraith. "Look, it _doesn't matter_. Where's McKay?!"

There was silence before more sounds I couldn't identify.

"Fine. Be that way." Rolling out from behind the console, I opened fire, hearing a strange almost high pitched sound from the Wraith, as I did so. Moving quickly, I ducked behind another console, one nearer to the door.

The unintelligible sounds I was hearing before, were now more rapid and higher pitch, as the Wraith refused to come out from behind the console. It confused me. Since when did Wraith hide? And what was with that weird…chatter? Noises?

Tapping my ear piece, I kept an eye on where the Wraith was. "This is Colonel Sheppard, we've got a Wraith in Atlantis!"

For a moment there was silence, and then more strange, unintelligible sounds came over the radio. Feeling my eyes widen, I wondered what happened with that machine. Had I been stunned for some time, and the Wraith took over? Had I been transported to some Alternate reality? Where were my people?!

"Damn it!" Jumping from my place behind the console, I fired more shots at the console, and I think I must have caught the Wraith, if the really high pitched scream was any indication, but I knew that if there was one, there were likely others, and I wouldn't be able to handle this on my own. "This isn't over!" I called as I dashed out of the room.

**(Briefing Room, Normal POV)**

Elizabeth sat in the tightly secured briefing room with Rodney, Ronon, Carson, Lorne, Teyla and Zelenka around it. "So, you're saying the machine's malfunctioning? It was supposed to…what, exactly?"

Rodney shook his head. "I'm not sure. Look, I think it was meant to connect the user to the mind of a Wraith, in order for them to adapt to thinking like a Wraith. In the end, it was supposed to help in hunting them, I think. The weak failed and were killed by the mental presence of the Wraith, the strong killed the Wraith and went on to become powerful warriors."

Zelenka nodded. "Yes, in theory. But this machine did not send Colonel Sheppard into the mind of a Wraith. No, it is my belief it has somehow…err…. For the lack of a better term, 'brainwashed' him into believing Dr. McKay _is_ a Wraith."

"But not just me." Rodney looked about to make a comment but kept it to himself. "I think it might have altered his mind to seeing us all as Wraith. And I don't think it's a malfunction. By the looks of it, the machine was tampered with. Either by accident, or on purpose, it's meaning there was changed."

"So as long as Colonel Sheppard runs around like this, we're all in danger?"

Both scientists exchanged grim glances before nodding.

"I see. Major, I want you and your team armed with stunners. You are also to take two extra teams of marines, and with Teyla and Ronon's help, I want you to locate Colonel Sheppard immediately. Do not hesitate to stun him the moment you lay eyes on him. He's got a P90, and if Rodney's right, he'll see Wraith, and not you." Elizabeth's eyes were worried and she stared at Rodney a moment. "Can you fix this?"

"Hum, yes, I think so. I just need time to check out how badly this machine's been tampered with. Oh! And don't try talking to Sheppard, either. I tried that, and he basically told me he didn't understand. Who or whatever messed with this machine, didn't do a thorough job. They made sure he wouldn't be able to understand speech at all."

"Alright. I want you and Zelenka to look into this, and Major, I want a security detail on them at all times." Standing, Elizabeth sighed. "Dismissed."

Everyone exchanged worried glances before quickly making their ways to their destinations.

**(Another Part of Atlantis, John's POV)**

"How the hell did all these Wraith get in Atlantis?!" Frowning, I tried to concentrate as I walked briskly down the hall. It was difficult, I had a migraine, and I felt like death warmed over. "One moment I'm in the room with Rodney, the next he's gone and there's a Wraith there."

Tapping my radio, I listened in on the other conversations, trying to see if I could pick up on anything, or at least, hopefully, hear from one of the others. There was nothing but static and tons of intelligible sounds. Some were louder than others, and if I really concentrated, they almost sounded like voices, speaking, but I couldn't make anything out.

Finally, I gave up listening and turned the radio off. "I guess I'll have to find them the old fashioned way." Checking my P90, I made sure I was fully loaded and walked off down the hall.

It didn't seem like long after I left when I ran into the first group of Wraith. They were carrying our weapons, strangely enough, and the moment they saw me, they raised stunners.

_Stunners?_ Dodging behind a corner, I waited until the firing ceased and leaned out quickly, firing a barrage of bullets at them. One was hit in the side, and fell with a scream, and the others ducked behind a corner of their own. _This is so weird. All of this, it all seems so wrong. Wraith that don't speak? That appeared out of nowhere, and carry our weapons? And where the hell are my people?!_

I'd ducked behind the corner but peeked out and frowned when I saw one of the Wraith darting out to carefully drag it's downed companion around the corner. There was something you didn't normally see. When a Wraith went down, the others rarely cared.

Hearing a sound behind me, I spun and fired automatically, watching two more Wraith go down before a bright flash and a stinging that soared through my body. Everything went numb quickly, and as I fell, I watched the Wraith approach cautiously. As everything faded, I caught sight of one of them tapping something at their ear.

**(A Little later)**

I had no idea how long I was out cold. I still couldn't believe I'd been shot with one of our own stunners. As I came to, I heard a familiar sound.

"Colonel Sheppard?"

_Carson?_ Opening my eyes, I looked around, and wanted to laugh in relief as everything cleared and I saw my friends standing around me. "Guys?"

My team, Elizabeth, Zelenka and Carson all stood around my bed, and I realized I was in the infirmary.

"Welcome back, Colonel. How are you feeling?"

"I'll feel better when I find out what the hell happened." Seeing Rodney, I raised an eyebrow. "What happened? One minute I'm in the room with you, the next Atlantis has practically been overrun with Wraith."

"No, there were never any Wraith." Frowning, he looked at his computer tablet before looking back up. "The machine you activated had been tampered with and I managed to find out-"

"With my help!"

Glaring a little at Radek, Rodney nodded. "Yes, yes, with _his_ help. _We_ managed to find that it had been altered to make you _believe_ that everyone around you was a Wraith. In essence, make you a killing machine. It messed with you head so that we couldn't talk to you, or help you figure out what had happened." Staring at me, he frowned and his eyes narrowed. "You attacked me."

I felt my eyes widen. "I thought I was attacking a Wraith!"

"You shot at me!" He looked himself over and his eyes lingered on his arm. "You hit me!" The bandage on his arm said more than enough, but being McKay, he still seemed to think he _had_ to point out the obvious.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, recalling this from the planet with the Wraith mind altering device, that made us all live out memories and nightmares. "I'm sorry, ok?"

"Hey, you shot at us, too." Ronon put in. "You winged McKay. You hit Lorne in the leg, and you hit Captain Sheldon in the side. They'll be ok."

I don't think my eyes could have gotten any wider. "How many people did I hurt??" For a moment, I paused, trying to recall what happened. "Did I… Did I kill-"

"No." Ronon shook his head. "Just fairly minor wounds."

Nodding, I closed my eyes for a moment before reopening them. "How'd you get me back?"

"We had to create a whole new macro to, uh…" Seeing how blank the looks on a lot of our faces must have been, Rodney shook his head. "Never mind. Basically, we tampered with the tampered machine and managed to reverse it's effects."

"O...k..." I still frowned, recalling as two of the Wraith had gone down. "No one's hurt seriously? Geez, I shot my own people?!"

"John?"

Turning to Elizabeth, I watched as she walked over and leaned down, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Relax. It's not your fault. Listen, I've ordered the machine dismantled so this doesn't happen again. You've been ordered on bed rest for two days."

I stared at her as what she said sunk in. Nodding slowly, I watched as Ronon patted my leg, Rodney waved a little, and Teyla offered a smile, before they left. Zelenka offered me an 'It's good to have you back', before heading out, and Elizabeth grinned a little.

"Is it me, or do you have a bad habit of getting your head messed with and shooting our people?" Smirking a little, she raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry. I've spoken to the others, and they don't blame you, they realize you didn't know it was them. They see it as an accident."

That didn't make me feel any better, but I swore to talk to each of them myself, as soon as I was able to be up and around, and apologize. I even made a mental note to take Maria Sheldon out for dinner some time as a personal apology.

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Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	56. Ghost in the Machine

**Jodz92** - Yeah, I know. That's John for you.

**Puddle-Jumper38** - I liked that episode, too. Especially how they pit Ronon against John, and how the doc had the one marine helping him, only to realize later that the same marine had been dead for a while.

**AtlantisJoeFan** - Thank you :)

Ok, sorry about the later update. I've been uber busy. I read over this one, I hope it's alright. Thank you all for sticking with me. Enjoy.

**Legend**

_**Telepathic communication**_

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(Atlantis, Normal POV)

John was wandering around the control room in boredom. Lately, Atlantis had been quiet, too quiet. There was no word about Wraith attacks, anything to do with the Genii stirring up trouble… Hell, there were no alien viruses to worry about, or toxic plants, even! "Chuck, anything on the long range sensors?" He asked, aware his boredom was seeping into his voice.

Chuck sighed and checked his system. "No, sir. Nothing that I can see." He frowned for a moment. "Wait… No." He shook his head, staring at the screen. "There's nothing."

"You didn't sound so sure a moment ago." John stated with a raised eyebrow, his interest piqued. "What's up?"

"Just a minor glitch, I'm running a scan now to make sure it's not serious." Chuck looked at the screen. "I thought I saw a ship out there, but it's gone again."

Frowning for a moment, Sheppard hesitated before nodding.

"John…? What're you doing?"

Turning his head, John sighed and leaned over the back of the console, waving half heartedly to Elizabeth as she walked up to him. "Hey."

"Hi."

"I'm just bored. I finished training with Ronon over an hour ago, and there's nothing to do."

She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest. "You sure? I'm sure I saw a ton of inventory that Zelenka could use help with."

Standing up straight, John shook his head and tried not to grin. "We both know if Rodney found out I was helping with inventory, he'd have a fit! He doesn't want me near any of that stuff, mutant gene and all." He winked and shrugged.

Nodding, Elizabeth grinned, her grin positively evil. "Yes, but if I explained I ordered it, he'd have no choice but to listen to me, whether he liked it or not."

Seeing where she was going, John raised his hands in defeat and sighed. "Ok, you got me."

Laughing a little, she walked over and looked at Chuck. "Any activity?"

Chuck sat staring at the screen, a deep frown on his face. He turned to the keyboard and began typing, and the screen beeped at him, causing him to look at it again and frown deeper. "Uh...yes, ma'am. I thought it was just a malfunction of the sensors, but... I think there's a ship out there." His eyes narrowed at the screen. "It's not reading as Wraith, Replicator or Lantean, though."

"Is it's not the Wraith, the Replicators or Ancients, who could it be?" Frowning for a moment, John snapped his fingers. "Is it the Travelers?" He saw Elizabeth's look and shrugged. "What? Larrin said she was planning to come back for a visit."

"It's not the Travelers, either." Chuck frowned. "At least, I don't think so. I don't recognize the ship's design." He turned the screen to John who looked at it and frowned before shaking his head.

"What?"

Looking up at the two leaders of Atlantis, Chuck opened his mouth but before he could say a word, the gate lit up and began dialing. "We've got an unscheduled off world activation!" He called unnecessarily as he quickly looked back at the screen. "Unknown address and no IDC, or visual confirmation."

"We don't have anyone off world at the moment." Elizabeth looked at the gate grimly. "Raise the shield!"

"Ri-What...?" Chuck tapped on the keyboard and there was a beep. Frowning, he tapped the same button and got another beep. "We have a problem, ma'am! The shield's not raising!"

"What? How's that possible?!" Spinning to the gate, Elizabeth walked to the railing that looked down at the gate room. "What's going on??"

Tapping his radio, John grabbed his hand gun and raised it, rushing over to Elizabeth's side to give her cover. "Security to the gate room immediately! I repeat, security to the gate room immediately!" Looking to the scientists scrambling around, he tapped his ear piece again. "Everyone outta there, now!" He ordered loudly, grabbing Elizabeth's arm and hauling her back.

"John!"

"Stay here!" He growled, racing to the railing and holding his handgun towards the gate, even as a security team, including Teyla and Ronon, began rushing into the room. Waiting about as patiently as he could, considering the situation, he narrowed his eyes as the gate seemed to shimmer the way it usually did. Then, a single figure came through. Before he knew what he was doing, he was sighting the area between her eyes. _Wait… 'Her'?_ Frowning, he watched as a girl in flowing white robes walked through the gate, looking around in confusion.

She looked to be in her thirties, or so, with shoulder length black hair and deeply tanned skin. She had a small golden band wrapped around her forehead and she looked around at the security team with uncertainty shining in her black eyes.

"John, what's….?" Elizabeth came up beside John, having seen the confusion in his face. Seeing their newcomer, and her look of worry, Elizabeth sighed a little, and stared at her a moment._ She looks…_ "Uh, hello…?"

The young woman turned to Elizabeth and her eyes seemed to narrow a bit, her confusion written clearly on her face. "I'm not a threat." She said in accented English, her face showing how uncertain she was about being there. "Please, I only came for help."

Raising her hand, Elizabeth gave a silent gesture for her people to lower their weapons and she stared at the newcomer, trying to decipher if she was being honest or not. "I'm sorry, we're not accustomed to people coming through our gate like you did."

"Or somehow blocking our shields, either." John put in, his eyes visibly holding a glimmer of recognition.

Elizabeth wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but noted he was still wary. She, herself wasn't sure if this woman was an Ancient, a Replicator, or some other race all together. "It's our custom to be on guard around strangers." She stated calmly, moving away from the railing to make her way down the stairs.

John turned and followed her, not certain if he trusted this woman. She reminded him of the Replicators, in all honesty. He kept his gun lowered, but ready in his hand, just in case she was a threat, and he stayed near Elizabeth in case she needed him. He didn't know what it was she needed, but if she had the technology to block their shields, he didn't want to know what else they were capable of.

**(On the Alien Ship, John's POV)**

"Rodney, would you hurry up with that diagnostic." Frowning, I looked around the ship and shuddered. Ok, so yeah, I loved space ships, and flying things, but this ship was just plain creepy. "Then we can get the hell outta here." Instead of being made of metal, this ship was alive. In a strange sense, it was like a Wraith ship. It was made purely from living material, and it was damn weird!

"I'm hurrying! I can only do two things at once, you know!" Rodney snapped with a glare.

"And what's the other thing you're doing?!" I shot back. "You're only supposed to be running a diagnostic."

"I'm scanning the memory banks to see where this ship's been, that it suffered…" He gestured to the fleshy power core that seemed to be melting away right in front of them. "The flesh eating disease." He made a face and typed carefully on the 'thank god they're metal' keys on a board.

Making a similar face, I watched as the purplish skin-like stuff clung to a glowing orb of some kind. The more the skin seemed to decay, the more of the orb was visible and the higher the radiation levels it gave off. Apparently, under normal circumstances, the skin-stuff protected those in the ship from the radiation, and it was able to stand up to it. In this case…not doing so well. The radiation levels weren't supposed to be toxic yet, but they would be soon, if the problem wasn't fixed.

Aleera, the young Ascerian traveler, was apparently on a long journey to travel to all kinds of worlds. She'd been passing this sector when her sensors detected Atlantis, as we weren't shielded or cloaked at the time. By the time she got here, our shields were up again, but she already knew we were here, so she came via the Stargate.

_I still don't understand how she didn't know her ship was somehow affecting our Stargate, or what caused it. Actually, I don't trust that._

"What species is she, that her ship's…._this_?!" Rodney continued with a grimace, hesitantly walking over to scoop a small amount of the infected flesh into a container. "Oh, gross!" Gagging a little, he turned and grabbed my hand, plopping the sealed container into it.

Thankfully, we'd both chosen to wear gloves

Grimacing, I looked at him and wanted to drop the container, open, down his shirt. "Thanks, buddy." Rolling my eyes, I turned and made my way to the hatch of the ship. On the way, I thought I'd heard something. Turning carefully, I noticed the door on the other side of the hallway seemed to shake before slowly opening. The hallway was dark, beyond it, but I thought I'd heard a woman's voice. "Uh, Hello…?"

"Sheppard?"

Waving my hand at Rodney absently, I took a few steps into the dark hallway, remembering that Aleera told us not to go any place else in the ship, but the engine room. Aleera, the strange exotic, alien woman who was not an Ancient, and after running some tests, apparently not a Replicator, either. Hesitating a moment, I took another step and winced as my foot slid into a thick, slimy patch. Grabbing my flashlight from my tac vest, yes we were wearing our vests, I turned it on and shone it down at my foot.

"Oh, nice." I groaned sarcastically, seeing the purple ooze around my ankle. I tried to pull my foot out, but found I was stuck fast. Not only that, but I seemed to be sinking. "Crap! Rodney!" I pulled my foot, but the harder I pulled, the more I seemed to sink. "Damn it! McKay, get your ass over here!" I was now up to my knee in that stuff, and my other foot had also started to sink. I noticed some brownish edges to the slime and realized it was infected with whatever had infected the engine. Wincing, I prayed it wouldn't do anything to me, and fought all the harder to get out of it.

"What the hell's going on? I thought you were gonna-oh my god!" Rodney appeared from around the corner and his eyes widened to see me up to my waist in the ooze, and rapidly sinking. "Hang on!" He hesitated, reaching for his ear, only to stop halfway and mutter about radiation interference. Looking around, he groaned and reached out, grabbing my arm.

I accidentally dropped the vial, and it was swallowed by the ooze that kept pulling me down. Ignoring it, I clasped Rodney's hand and hung on for dear life, still trying to get my legs free. "Damn it, pull Rodney!"

"I _am_ pulling!" He shouted, visibly doing so with a show of how much strain it was putting on him.

"Dr. McKay…?" Radek's voice seemed to echo through the ship.

"Zelenka!" Rodney seemed torn between being relieved and being annoyed. "Oh, god! Get your backside over here!" He pulled on my arm and I swear I was waiting for it to pop out of it's socket. "I need you to call a security team, we've got a problem!" He was looking down the hall. "No, no! Don't come here! Go and call for help! Go now!"

The ooze was up to my chest, and funnily enough, I'd swear I heard a woman's voice talking to me. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, trying not to gag at an overly sweet smell in the air.

_**Don't trust her…**_

Frowning, I took another deep breath and held it, trying to relax my body. _If you can't fight it…_ I remembered that there was a thing you could try with quicksand. If you were sinking, don't fight it, but relax and you should be able to get out.

_**She's lying… Don't trust her…**_

The voice was a whisper and between Rodney's calling me and demanding to know why I'd stopped fighting, and trying to hear the voice, I seriously couldn't relax. _Don't trust who…?_ I thought, frowning to myself. I kept trying to relax, but the further I sank, the more I began to worry and panic.

_**Don't trust her… She'll kill your people… She's lying…**_

The ooze was up to my chin, and I opened my eyes with that realization. "Damn it!" Rodney was on his knees, still pulling for dear life and his eyes filled with fear. Images flashed through my mind, and for a moment I thought it was the whole 'life flashing before your eyes' thing, but it wasn't _my_ life I was seeing. It was flashes of different people, some of very different species. Sometimes they were laughing, sometimes fighting, and I even watched though someone else's eyes as someone they cared for got swallowed up much the same was as me.

The ooze felt like it was constricting my chest. More images flashed through my mind, and it was overwhelming.

_**That was us… She did this to us… She's lying and she'll kill your people…**_

Somehow I knew who the female voice was talking about. Tilting my head back, I gasped for air as Rodney kept a firm hold on my hand. _Aleera! She did this!_ I gasped, managing to get a quick breath before my head was sucked under.

The only part of me that was not submerged was my arm that Rodney was holding on to. The ooze was hot and sticky, and almost seemed to burn my skin. I felt like I was suffocating, even as I held my breath. It was just too hot. I couldn't move at all, despite how much I struggled. I don't know how long I was under, but my lungs began to hurt. _How do I get out of this?!_

_**She'll kill your people.**_

The voice was a thundering boom now, echoing in my ears and through my mind.

_**She'll kill you! Don't let her win! Fight her!**_

_How the hell can I fight her when I can't even breathe?!_ A little air slipped out of my mouth, and my lungs felt like they kept swelling in my chest. My chest felt bloated and my heart was pounding in my throat. I felt tugging on my hand, but nothing happened.

_**Fight her!**_

Frowning, more air escaped my lips, and I was so desperate to get a breath. My lungs were on fire. No, my whole body was on fire! _Help me!_ The longer I stayed under, the more I began to wonder if the others would get to me in time. The more I wondered if I'd become part of this ship.

_**That's what she wants… She wants you to feed her ship, become part of it…**_

Oh, now _there's_ a thought I didn't need. Gritting my teeth, I struggled to fight the overwhelming urge to take a breath, even as I felt powerful tugging on my free arm. There were more than two hands on me. I felt them, and as they tugged, I think I felt my body slip upwards a little. My heart soared briefly at the thought and I tried to kick my legs, to push myself up further. It worked with the pulling.

_**Don't let her get away…**_

The voices were quieter now as I was pulled further out of the ooze. Just as my mind began to go fuzzy, I felt my head be pulled out. It was like a wet plopping and I could feel the ooze sliding down the side of my face. I kept my eyes closed, but opened my mouth and gasped powerfully. My head swam from the force, and my other arm was pulled free, taken into multiple hands and pulled on as well. Slowly, my body began rising out of the ooze.

_**Stop her…**_

Gasping powerfully, I waited a moment for everything to refocus and opened my eyes a little as I was lowered onto a solid, warm surface.

"Colonel! Can you hear me?!" Carson loomed over me, shining a light in my eyes, even as Lorne stood on one side of me and wiped off my face, and Rodney on the other, working on my arms and chest. "Hurry and get this stuff off him, lads!

Everything was fuzzy and distant, but slowly becoming clearer. I still felt weak, and gasped for air, but my head swam with the knowledge that I was alive. That I could breathe.

"We're hurrying! We're hurrying!" Rodney groaned, his face slightly green as he used his bare hands to wipe more of the gunk off me. "Only you..." He grimaced and made a face as he lobbed a soggy chunk of the gunk off somewhere.

I had my breathing somewhat under control and looked around wildly. Seeing Aleera in a corner with Elizabeth, staring at me with her dark eyes, I frowned deeply and glared at her before grabbing Lorne's hand and turning to look at him. "Her!" I winced as my throat rasped. My entire body felt overly sensitive and raw, and I felt like I'd just been put through the ringer. "She's behind this!"

"Are you insane?!" Rodney glared at me. "She wasn't even here!"

"Her ship…" Swallowing heavily, I closed my eyes a moment. "Her ship told me. It feeds…" I opened my eyes and stared right into Rodney's eyes, trying to communicate how serious I was. "It _feeds_ on live people!"

Evan wasted no time. Even with me in bad shape, I was still his CO, and he grabbed his P90 from his chest, raising it at Aleera and walking over, even as another marine guided a hesitant Elizabeth away from her.

I was exhausted, but thankful that Lorne had seen the sincerity in my words. He knew not to question me, besides how utterly absurd the warning had to have seemed. I made a note to explain everything later.

Seeing the glare on Aleera's face, I relaxed as Carson wheeled the gurney out of the ship, closing my eyes and giving in to the urge to sleep.

**(Infirmary)**

"So, you were right." Rodney walked into the infirmary and stared at me with a white, shaken look. "Looking through her ship's database, I found that she's been to other planets and taken people from each one. That decay? It was the power core being too powerful for the substance that was holding it. It was burning it out quickly, and she had to keep finding new material to renew it. That's where the feeding bit came in."

Nodding, I stared down at my sheet covered body. "How many people?"

"Countless. I never came across any reports of anyone else ever hearing the voices you did, though." Rodney hesitated looking honestly intrigued. "Did you really hear the ship speaking to you?"

"I don't know if it was the ship or the people the ship fed on. But, yeah, I really did hear it. What happened to Aleera?"

"Huh. Well, she's in the brig, waiting for someone to decide what to do with her. You're lucky Lorne's team arrived when it did. That was way too close." He scowled at me. "What made you go down that corridor anyways?"

"I thought I heard a woman calling for help." I told him honestly. The thought 'Ghost in the Machine' came to mind. Frowning for a moment, I looked up. "What happened to the ship?"

Shaking his head, Rodney held up his computer. "This data's all that's left. Without the food it needed, it decayed into noting but a radioactive core in the jumper bay. Luckily the Daedalus just got here and were able to transport it into far space, before blasting it and destroying it." He frowned and glared at his computer. "The blast was bigger than they thought, though, so now I have to fix their shields, too, as if I didn't have enough to do already." With a sigh, he turned and walked off muttering to himself with an absent wave at me.

Laying back, I relaxed and closed my eyes. Frowning for a split second, I sat up sharply as I heard what I could have sworn was a voice on the wind.

_**Thank you…**_

With a small smile, I laid back again, and let myself drift off. _Rest in peace._

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Hope you like it.

Written November 5, 2008

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	57. Game Over

**x Varda x** - LOL, I was going for creepy with that one. Glad you enjoyed it :)

**Jasminesmommy** - Yes, I'd agree.

**AtlantisJoeFan** - LOL. Thank you. Glad you enjoy them.

**Jodz92** - Better a slime pit than a snot pit, and I've seen stories about snot pits. LOL.

**Note**: This is loosely related to **Debbie418uk2**'s story about the headband that could transfer injuries to another party. I'm sorry I don't remember the name or number of her chapter to post.

Also, I'm really tired at the moment, but I decided to finish off this story, for now. I'm going to post all I have left in one final update, and switch the progress thing to 'Complete'. That's not a guarantee, however, that I'll never come up with another chapter. It might just be months, if I ever do. Thank you all for sticking with me and for the lovely reviews. I appreciate all your support. :)

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**(Sheppard's Team, John's POV)**

"It's easy once you get the hang of it." Shrugging a little, I tried to ignore the death glare Ronon was sending in the direction of anyone who dare approach at that moment. "I had a hard time at first, too."

"You didn't die so easily though."

"I said 'at first'."

"What's the point of using these…controllers to move the characters on the screen?" Teyla's head was cocked to the side. "You just sit and your fingers do the work. It does not make any sense."

"Well, no, it's just a game." Chuckling a little, I shot Ronon a look and raised an eyebrow. "As in, it's all for fun, there's no necessary _need_ to win."

"There is to me." He stated gruffly.

"Oh, come off it, you two. _Mario_ is hardly a challenging or worthwhile game." Rodney was staring at his computer tablet as we walked towards the center of a pretty advanced looking city. By no means was it an Atlantis, but it was at least a….well, a really big city. "Now this game in the database, on this planet is said to be very advantageous in battle."

"Yeah, for the winners. You still haven't told me what happens to the losers." Shooting McKay a look, I stopped and looked around at an intersection. "And just where is everyone, anyways?"

"Bingo night, maybe? How should I know? Look, I'm looking, but there's not much on this planet. It states about the games, and that the victors gain the skills of the people they beat, after the game is over. That's all I know. It doesn't say anything about the loser." Rodney frowned as he typed away. "Oh, and I'm getting a power reading in that direction." Pointing down the left street…or more like an alley, Rodney stared down it. Looking at his computer again, he frowned even deeper. "It's a weak one, though, and there's a stronger one coming from that direction." He pointed down the opposite street.

"It's just kinda freaky that we're in this big city and no one seems to be around. Do you think it was a culling?" I glanced at Teyla. "Maybe the Wraith were here?"

She shook her head. "I am not sensing any Wraith now, and I do not believe this was a culling. If it was, would the city not have been destroyed?"

"Probably. Ok everyone, I've got a weird feeling. Better stay on your toes. Ronon's with me. Teyla, you and Rodney go check out that direction." I pointed in the direction Rodney had first pointed in. "Stay in visual range of each other and keep regular radio contact." Turning, I headed down the opposite street from the one Teyla and Rodney were going down.

The streets were obviously deserted and appeared to have been so for quite some time. The sides of the buildings were falling apart, and the streets were lined with debris and garbage. Despite being eerily empty, the sky was overcast, darkening them and giving them a more haunting effect. Most of the doors on the buildings were closed, and some even appeared to be blocked, but as we wandered around, we came upon two open doorways. They were right beside each other, lined with purple frames, and the inside appeared to be pitch black.

"Let's check it out." I stated quietly, flipping on the light at the top of my P90. "Keep an eye out, though." I entered the closer door, leaving Ronon the one that was about three feet farther away. Like I thought, the room was pitch black, but the light illuminated it well. The room was empty, except for one large machine against the wall to my right. Funnily enough, it looked like one of those old arcade machines. It was big and made with red metal. There were straps that seemed to go on your arms, but four of them, so maybe two went on the legs. There was also a strap that was bigger, and judging by the image posted on the wall, next to the machine, it was supposed to go around our heads.

Each of these bands had a small rectangular box on it, that I guessed connected at the back of your head, arms and ankles, and connected you to the machine. Turning, I tapped my radio. "Ronon? I found a weird machine, it might be what McKay was talking about. Anything on your end?"

There was no response.

"Ronon?" Frowning, John selected a different channel. "Rodney? Teyla? Come in, do you read me?" Still no answer. Taking a deep breath, he looked around and realized that the room was probably RF shielded. Heading outside, he found Ronon exiting his building at the same time, apparently ok.

"Hey, I called you. Why didn't you answer?"

"Probably because I didn't hear you." I frowned. "The rooms are RF shielded, I think. I found a machine in the room, looked like an arcade game, kinda." Seeing Ronon's confused, look, I shook my head. "Just a big metal machine with bands that go on your-"

"Head, arms and legs." Ronon finished gruffly. "Yeah, I found one, too, on my left."

"Left?" Pausing, I looked back to the room I had entered. "Mine was on the right." Tapping my radio, I tried to contact Rodney. "McKay, it's Sheppard. Do you read me? I think I found your game."

There was no response.

"Oh, that could get very annoying." I muttered as I tapped my radio again. "Teyla?" No answer. "They're probably in rooms similar to these." I gestured towards the rooms we'd entered. Staring at them a moment, I grinned at Ronon. "Wanna check them out?" The poster on the wall showed it to be a Mortal Combat style theme, with two fighters. "I think it's the kind of game you'd love."

He hesitated a moment. "McKay'd have a field day if we break them." He grinned ferally. "But it sounds like fun."

Heading back into our respective rooms, I walked over to the machine and took a good look at it. There was no joystick, but there was a big black platform we could stand on. Otherwise, there was nothing to touch or move. Frowning in confusion, I stepped up on to the platform and nearly jumped out of my skin when lights came on surrounding me, and a large screen in front of me lit up, showing a big monster standing still.

It seemed to be like the Wii system. You used the bands and moved your body to make your character move.

"Ok, this is…different." I noticed there were hand rails on either sides, with spots of rust on them. That's about when I also noticed spots of rust on the ground and on the nearby walls. _Water damage, maybe?_ The building had looked structurally sound. Maybe it happened before and someone fixed it and just never got around to cleaning up the rust spots. Either way, the machine seemed ok. Placing my P90 on a large hook by the edge of the platform, I also took off my vest and thigh holster and put them there, too. Taking the large band, I fastened it around my forehead, wincing at the cold texture of the alien material. I quickly followed suit with the arm and ankle bands and then stood there as a smaller screen appeared in the top right corner of the one I was facing, showing another monster.

They both appeared to be the same. Four arms, big heads, three eyes, and furry or scaly skin, depending on the monster. For the record, I was the furry one.

Anyways, about a minute after I finished suiting up and began experimentally moving, watching as the furry monster did the same moves as me, I grinned when I noticed the other monster moving. It mock saluted me and seemed to grin back.

_Yep, definitely like the Wii._

"Oh, this is gonna be fun!" Smacking my hands together and rubbing them, I lowered into a defensive stand, and nimbly jumped to the side as my opponent rushed at me. The monster on the screen actually seemed to come at me, and I was struck by how real the graphics were. Of course, my distraction didn't fail to capture the notice of my opponent. While I wasn't paying attention, he swung out and backhanded me.

It might've been freaky how real it looked, if I hadn't been hit with an electric jolt and a nasty pain in my face, like I'd just been backhanded. "Ow! What the hell?!" I staggered back a step, the game forgotten. Forgotten, that is, until I felt the pain and pressure in my stomach that sent me careening to the edge of the platform, where I winced and gasped for breath. Holding up my hand, I watched blurrily as the other monster didn't stop, but actually grabbed my arm, before spinning in towards me and elbowing me in the stomach and punching me in the throat.

As he moved away, I collapsed to the ground, struggling to breath and stay conscious despite the pain I was in. What was going on? What was supposed to be a game was turning way too serious for me to handle. "Ronon… Stop…" I gasped. Hitting my radio, I tried to get through to him. "Ronon! Stop! I can't…" Coughing a little, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and closed my eyes as I hissed in agony.

Ronon had always been strong, but for fear of hurting me, he never went all out. Right now he was sure he couldn't actually hurt me, so he very likely wasn't holding back.

Seeing the other monster come stalking forward with a feral grin, I took a deep breath and stared in dread.

**(With Rodney and Teyla, Normal POV)**

"Colonel? Ronon??" Frowning, Rodney looked to Teyla, who looked as worried as he felt. "We only went into that room for five minutes, they couldn't have gotten into trouble in that time…" He paused and seemed to reconsider. "Then again, it's _Ronon_ and _John_."

"They have not answered us. Do you think this area is RF shielded?"

Shaking his head, Rodney pointed to his radio. "We experimented, remember? Our radios are working fine, unless they're in an RF shielded area." He frowned deeply. "I still can't believe the machine was broken, but at least I got a valuable amount of data from it. And now we know what happened to the losers." He winced.

Teyla nodded and looked back to the room sadly. "I counted maybe ten bodies in that room. The one next to it, nine."

"Wouldn't that mean someone got away, though? I mean, if it's a two-player game, then one person must have gotten away." Rodney paused and checked the small Ancient scanner he had. "But the only life signs I'm reading are ours. Oh god, not even John or Ronon are showing up."

Placing her hand on his shoulder, Teyla smiled slightly. "I am certain they are merely in an area that is shielded. Perhaps if we followed them…?"

Nodding quickly, Rodney stuck the scanner back into his pocket before reaching over his shoulder and sticking his computer to his back. "Hopefully they didn't find any of these…games." Trudging along side of Teyla, he hesitated. "If they did, and if they tried it, which I'm sure they'd do, since it's _Ronon_ and _John_, one of them could die."

"I am not certain I understand how those bands can transfer injuries into their bodies."

"It's alien technology. I don't fully understand it, myself. It looks like the machine is set up to send signals to the brain telling it that the body actually _was_ injured. It's a proven fact that when someone suffers an injury in a dream, if they believe it's real, it can actually happen. This is like that, only the band tells the body it's real, even when they know it's not. They don't get a say in the matter. The losers usually died, that's why there was no record of them in Atlantis' database, and why the planet was red flagged, meaning not the best choice to go to."

Nodding simply, Teyla's eyes were narrowed as he walked on ahead. It took them about ten minutes to reach the split where they went in different directions, and continued straight through, in the direction John and Ronon had gone.

**(With John, John's POV)**

Crying out in pain, I collapsed to my knees and coughed up blood. I wiped at my face and looked up, seeing the blurry image of my opponent in front of me, leering down at me and making motions as if to say 'get up'. _Maybe… Maybe if I stay down…_ Apparently not. Getting to my feet, as a current ran through my body, I staggered sideways and leaned against the hand railing as I fought to keep to my feet. I noticed Ronon's monster pause and hesitate, as if he noticed I was acting oddly. Then he seemed to reconsider and rushed at me.

Jumping to the side, I narrowing avoided getting body slammed into the railing, and surely breaking my back. I felt something swing behind me as my back collided with the wall, and turned, seeing my P90 and hand gun. _Wait…_ Getting an idea, I reached over my shoulder and grabbed my handgun. When I turned back I saw Ronon's monster hesitate before taking a step back. I took aim at the said monster, but hesitated. _Damn! If I shoot it, I'll hurt Ronon._ Frowning a moment, I paused before aiming at the wall near the door and letting three blast go.

The monster jumped a little, as if the shots surprised him, and I heard someone calling my name from out in the street.

_Whoa, good thing I didn't fire out there._ I thought with wide eyes as Rodney and Teyla rushed in seconds later. They must have seen me holding the gun, or I really looked like hell, because they stopped cold and stared at me with wide eyes. "Well? Don't just stand there, help me outta here." I groaned as my legs gave out. Turning to the screen, I noticed the other monster standing where it was before, unmoving, and a minute later, Ronon came rushing into the room.

"I heard a gunshot!" He had his blaster in his hand, but seeing me, his eyes widened and he lowered it. "What happened to you?"

"You throw a mean punch." I muttered through gritted teeth, leaning on one arm and closing my eyes against the pain I was in.

**(Infirmary, Normal POV)**

Rodney had explained about what he learned of the machines, in a meeting with Elizabeth. Unfortunately for John, the information came a little too late, and he was stuck in the infirmary because of it. His ribs were bandaged, almost every one of them being broken, and he had a mild concussion. He'd also had a sprained ankle, and as he told the others, was still feeling numb in places from the jolts he got.

It turned out the machine not only used strange electric signals to convince the body that the injuries were real, it also copied the moves of both fighters and kept them in it's memory. That was the whole 'passing the abilities of the loser on to the winner' thing. Even if the other person lost the battle, any moves they might have known that the winner didn't, were transferred to the winner, along with any knowledge of technology and weapons.

The only real downside was that the loser _never_ made it out alive. John's case was only different because he thought of a way to end the fight before Ronon could give the finishing blow.

And in either case, he still came out the worse. Stuck in the infirmary for at least a week, Carson had ordered him to a jello and soft fruit diet for about a month, until his ribs had more of a chance to heal.

Elizabeth sent the others to rest, though Rodney went to his lab to analyse the data he'd collected, as per usual, and Ronon went to the infirmary. She also sent Major Lorne's team to the planet to destroy the machines before anyone else got caught in them.

"How're you doing?"

Shrugging a little, John winced at the action. "I've been better, but I'll live."

"Sorry, buddy."

"Don't worry about it, you had no way of knowing what was going on."

"Except I saw your avatar acting weirdly, and I just thought it meant it was almost done."

"It _was_."

Ronon frowned. "Lorne reported that all the rooms with the games in them had lots of blood in them. I didn't even notice."

Wincing, John made a face. "I think I did. I thought it was rust, in the light I had."

"It was old blood."

"Look, when I get outta here, remind me to show you Mortal Combat. I think you'll like it, and _that_ game's perfectly safe."

Frowning for a moment, Ronon nodded slowly, a small grin coming over his face. "No having to jump over giant bullets?"

Laughing a little at the memory of _Mario_, and wincing in pain, John held up his hand as he took a deep, careful breath. "No. It's a fighting game, really similar to the one on that planet, just a safe version. Oh, and it uses controls instead of bands." He seemed to think about it. "Come to think of it, the bands was kinda cool. It could be really neat for a training idea. Maybe I can get Rodney to design something for the Mortal Combat game, or even other fighting style games." As he thought out loud, John didn't even notice the drugs starting to kick in until he dozed off.

Seeing his friend sleeping, Ronon smiled and pulled the blanket up higher before turning and walking out of the room. Maybe Teyla felt up to a sparring match.

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Hope you like it.

Written October 24, 2008

R+R please.

Thank you

Tenshi


	58. Meditation and Relaxation

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**(John's POV)**

"Atlantis, do you read?" Frowning, I looked out at the massive void in front of me, even as the console beeped in warning. "Yeah, yeah, I know." I muttered as I tapped my radio again. "Atlantis, please come in!" I could see the planet in front of me, and felt my eyes narrow as I got up and finished zipping up the suit I was in. _Still nothing??_ Turning on the communications array in the jumper, I sighed loudly. "Atlantis, do you read me? Please come in. This is Lt. Col. John Sheppard and I have an emergency!"

"John? It's Elizabeth, what's going on?"

_I must've been further away than I thought_. The radio didn't have enough power to reach the planet's surface from here. "Finally! Listen, something's wrong with the jumper. My scans are showing a massive power spike, and I have no idea what's causing it. If the power levels keep rising, I risk the jumper exploding!" I checked my air supply, and when I was satisfied, sat back down, albeit, awkwardly.

"Hang on, Rodney's here and he's running some scans." Elizabeth was quiet for a few moments.

The console beeped even louder than before and began beeping continuously as warning lights began to flash. "Guys, any time now."

"Got it!" There was Rodney. "It looks like some kind of residual radiation that seems to be occupying the same section of space as the jumper. It's causing the power levels to spike uncontrollably. Look, the only thing you can do is get outta there!"

"Wish I could! I lost navigation when I was hit with a piece of that rogue meteor." Typing on my console, I frowned. "I lost a lot of things. Navigation, life support is low. Hell, the power is spiking, but it's not going to where it's needed!" I slammed my hand into the console, ignoring the pain that shot up it. "Nothing's working!"

"I've run a scan of the jumper, and it looks like the meteor fragment lodged itself into the circuitry of the jumper, causing a blockage in the sub-routines."

"Simply put, there's nothing I can do, is there?" I got up again and grabbed my helmet. Placing it over my head, I snapped it into place and made sure everything was set. "I might not be able to steer, but I can aim the jumper away from Atlantis."

"John? What're you planning?" Elizabeth was back, and sounding suspicious.

"I'm gonna do the only thing I can. Jump ship. Better send someone out to get me." Frowning a moment, I set the controls and let my hand hover over the communications array. "If I don't make it out of this..." I shook my head. "Just get your asses out here! Sheppard out." Hitting the button, I set the controls to take the jumper away from Atlantis, at least, though it would still probably crash land on the planet. Turning, I walked to the rear hatch and took a deep breath.

_All this because I chose to test some new engine modifications Rodney had done._ With a wry grin, I hit the button and let the momentum carry me out, deep into space. _Should've known better._ Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and forced my pounding heart to slow down. _No telling how long they're gonna be. Better conserve oxygen._

**(Conference Room, Normal POV)**

"The jumper has started on a slow course towards the planet. I'm not certain, but the course seems to bring it fairly close to Atlantis." Rodney was frowning. "I think it should still be far enough away, that if it explodes the damage would be minimal. Also, the single life sign aboard has...well, jumped ship."

"There's usually about two hours of oxygen in those tanks, isn't there?" Elizabeth asked with a frown as she gazed from Rodney to Ronon and then to Teyla. Lastly, her eyes strayed to Major Lorne. "Was it really the meteor that caused all this??"

"The meteor is a big part." Rodney frowned and almost winced. "But the back up sub-routines should have kicked in to keep the power flowing normally. It's a rerouting program that automatically sends power where it needs to go, to get to it's designated points. If one way is blocked it should go another way, basically."

"So what happened?"

"It seems that there was a design flaw in the plans of the enhanced shield and drone control system." Now Rodney _did_ wince, though everyone figured it was more from being wrong than anything else. "Somehow it's blocked the secondary sub-routines from kicking in, and it's caused this."

"Ok, we can worry about the jumper later." Elizabeth stood up. "Jumpers are replaceable. Right now, we need to get John back."

"But we can't lower the shield!" Rodney also stood up. "Listen, we don't know for sure when the jumper will explode, or how near to Atlantis it will be when it does so. With the shields we're relatively safe, but without them the explosion could cause massive damage, and the resulting shockwave could seriously disrupt our systems."

"And how long before it gets here?"

"I...." Rodney slowly sank back down into his seat. "I'm not sure. I'm having trouble locking on to it, now that it's entered our atmosphere. I think it's that radiation. It was clear in space, but here…" He shrugged helplessly. "I can't tell exactly how far it is, or how long it'll take to get here. Elizabeth, ok, maybe we _can_ lower the shields long enough to send a jumper through..." He began typing on his computer with one hand, vaguely looking up every now and then and making gestures with his other hand to go along with what he was saying. "But we risk the second jumper being caught near the exploding one, or getting caught in the shockwave."

"We cannot simply leave him out there." Teyla was frowning deeply.

"I'm not suggesting we do, but we need to find another way." Suddenly, Rodney's eyes widened and he absently tapped something on his screen with one finger, while he snapped the fingers of his other hand in rapid succession. "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait. A. Minute. Isn't the Daedalus due to arrive within the next two and a half hours?"

"That's too _late_, doc." Lorne spoke up gravely. "There's only about two hours of oxygen in those tanks, as Dr. Weir asked earlier, and he's already been out there for a while now. I'd say he's got less than two hours left."

"I _know_." Rodney rolled his eyes. "But if we call them and tell them our situation... Ok, look, they'll be coming in at a safe speed, but not their top speed. If we can call them and tell them what's going on, they can move to their top speed and shave off maybe half an hour from their trip." Rodney typed quickly into his computer. "Theoretically, they should be there with a few minutes to spare."

"Of course, everything works out perfectly in your world, doc." Lorne stood up slowly. "They'll get here with seconds to spare, the Colonel will be perfectly fine, the other jumper won't explode but will miraculously land itself and wait to be repaired... What if the Daedalus comes under attack? Remember there are still Wraith hives out there. Or what if they have problems with their engines? What if the Colonel has less air than we thought? Or of _he's_ attacked??"

Rodney looked ready to snap, but thinking about it all, he realized they were all valid threats and concerns. A little paranoid, maybe, but valid none the less. "So you wanna risk taking a jumper out, and risk lives, just to make sure you get to him on time? What if the other jumper explodes on your way out? You'll all die. What if you get the Colonel, but the jumper explodes on your way back? You'll all die, along with him."

"_Gentlemen_!" Elizabeth held up her hands. "Look, I don't like this, but it seems our best hope is the Daedalus. We'll try contacting John and see how much air he's got left, and we'll worry about all this as we go. This is not the time to be fighting." Sending them a stern look, she sighed and turned towards the door. "Rodney, I want you to look into tracking the other jumper, just in case. Major, I want you and your team standing by in the jumper bay, in case we need to send out the rescue jumper."

Both men nodded quietly, their faces grim.

"Ok, dismissed." Waving her hand over the console to open the door, Elizabeth took a deep breath and walked out of the room.

**(In Space, John's POV)**

It had taken me a while to relax enough to enter a meditative trance. I kept thinking they'd get out here quickly, or wondering if they were coming at all, which I know was paranoid and stupid. Of course they were coming for me! Anyways, I have no idea how long it took, but I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, clearing my mind as I did so.

"What're you doing?"

I almost jumped out of my skin at the voice. It was soft and feminine, and vaguely familiar. Opening my eyes, I blinked blankly at the two figures staring at me. One had long black hair and bright green eyes. The other had shoulder length blonde hair up in a high ponytail. They were two marines who had come in with the new contingent. The brunette was Lieutenant Kendra Morgan, and the blonde was Sergeant Rika Behld.

"Uh, hi?" I looked around in confusion. Instead of being in a massive bulky space suit, floating aimlessly in space, I was sitting in a two-seater compartment in a massive Ferris wheel, and we were moving slowly, the sky clear and blue and the air warm and fresh around us. "Uh, how'd…" Frowning, I noticed I was in my usual base attire, and Kendra was dressed in blue jeans and a pink tank top, where Rika was wearing a small yellow dress.

"Isn't it obvious? You're day dreaming." Rika giggled.

Blinking again, I looked at the girls, struck by how cute they both looked. "I guess that makes sense."

"Well, yeah. I mean, you don't wanna be reminded of the fact that you're floating helplessly in space with limited oxygen and that you might have a while to wait for your friends to come and find you." Kendra seemed perfectly calm, as if she was talking about her day, and now my currently grim situation.

"Yeah, thanks." I groaned, all too aware I must have been hallucinating, or in a meditative trance of some kind. I stared at them a moment longer before looking around past the Ferris wheel as our bucket lowered to the ground and began it's next incline. The area was barren around us, with little plant growth, and people were milling around as though it was a perfectly normal day. I saw Elizabeth walk through the crowd with General Jack O'Neill at her side, talking pleasantly, and Rodney was yakking animatedly at Ronon who was holding a whack-a-mole club.

"Everyone's having fun." Rika giggled and grinned, waving at some random people.

Kendra nodded with a smile in my direction. "You look good."

I felt my face heat up but nodded a little and managed a slight smile. I knew this was all my imagination, but it was relaxing and it was nice. "Thanks. You two." I looked at Rika who grinned. "Both of you."

"So, tell me, Colonel, who do you like on Atlantis?"

I blinked in surprise, not having seen that question. I knew it was my sub conscience trying to keep my distracted, but come on, it could do better than that! "Uh, why…?" Pretty much everyone was my subordinate, so despite the casual dates I had, I didn't like to give too much thought to whom I actually _liked_.

Kendra raised an eyebrow and almost seemed to think about it. "You're right. We probably could do better." She grinned and exchanged a look with Rika. "How about it?"

Frowning for a moment, I heard Elizabeth's voice call my name and turned, seeing her wave at me, I hesitated before waving back.

"How much air do you have?" She asked. Pointing to her wrist, I looked down and saw a monitor on it that was very similar to the one I'd have on my space suit.

_Air…?_ _Oh…_ Following her gaze to my own wrist, I saw the indicator on it and stared a moment, struggling to make sense of the blurry figures on it. "A little under two hours…" Wow, I wasn't even thinking of my situation. I was too confused and distracted by what was going on here.

"Plenty of time."

I was startled by Rika's voice. I was still confused about being in a dream-like world with them. I've meditated before, but never had anything like this happen before. It was…interesting. For a moment, I wondered if this was what Rodney went through when he was stuck in the submerged jumper

Kendra sighed dramatically and shot me a look, like I should have known better. "You know it is. He won't admit it, but you know he had his own little epiphany of sorts."

Glancing at the girls across from me, I did a double take and felt my eyes widen even as I was sure my jaw hit the ground.

"Is this better?" Kendra gave her best innocent blink as she folded her hands politely in her lap. She was now wearing a purple bikini that showed off her slender waist and full figure. Hm, imagine that, she had a nice tan and no visible tan lines. "This is more like what you were thinking, right?

Rika folded her arms over her chest, wearing a light green lace trimmed bikini, and an identical hair band. "Is this a little more distracting?" She got up and walked over, sitting beside me and leaning against my arm.

I knew this was just a dream, but it felt so real. I could feel the heat coming from her body, and her weight as she rested her head on my shoulder. We just kind of sat there, chatting. As Rika plastered herself to my one side, Kendra continuously adjusted her position on the other bench, though I had a feeling she was posing for me. I kind of just forgot everything and began to enjoy myself. This was nice and relaxing, and one of my more pleasant dates in a while.

"This is probably better than Rodney's hallucination, any time." Kendra added, as she reclined in the seat she now basically had to herself, crossing her ankles to make her legs seem even longer than they were. "I mean, you heard him say 'Sam' so you know he was dreaming about Colonel Samantha Carter. You've got us." She gestured to Rika and winked. "The _two_ of us."

"Oh, yes, yes, yes. Make fun of the scientist when he's not here to defend himself." Came Rodney's voice from John's unoccupied side.

Turning slowly, John wasn't sure whether to be relieved to see Rodney there, or disappointed, since he was sure that about marked the end of the pleasant part of his day dream. "Hello, Rodney. Fancy joining our little….uh, adventure?" He paused, realizing that sounded very bad, considering both girls were scantily dressed. "Uh, what's up?" He asked, hoping Rodney would answer the immediate question and ignore the previous one.

"Well, I just stopped by to remind you to focus, and here you are, insulting my day dream. At least mine was productive, and helped save my life, in the end." He paused and seemed to look thoughtful.

I did recall Rodney mentioning that Sam had tried to help his plan, before he realized what he'd said and tried to correct himself, saying that it was his sub conscience trying to help him. "Right." Rika pressed up against my arm again and nestled her head into my shoulder a little more, letting out a contented sigh. "Uh, Rodney, in case you haven't noticed, I _am_ focusing." I let my eyes roam over Kendra's body and grinned a little. "I'm _really_ focusing."

"Ok, so you're completely alright with the fact that your warning alarm is going off?"

Frowning a moment, I looked around and noticed that the sky was no longer blue. Instead it was a dark, intense gray. "My what?" I heard a beep, and looked down at the source, the watch on my wrist. "Rodney?"

"Finally, John! Listen to me. Your oxygen is low." Rodney's voice seemed to be coming from farther away, and I felt at my ear, only to feel something round, and hard before my hand even connected. _Oh, right…helmet._ "You need to pay attention and you need to stay awake at all costs. The Daedalus will be there in twenty minutes, until then, I need you to stay-" The link suddenly cut out.

The girls opposite of me looked concerned and seemed to exchange glances. "What do you think he was gonna say?" Rika seemed thoughtful. "Stay put? Stay awake? Stay still or calm?"

"Maybe stay focused?" Kendra shrugged and tugged at her tank top. Turning to me, she frowned. "The ride's slowing down. How much oxygen do you have left?"

Noticing that the Ferris wheel was indeed slowing down, I looked around, noting my friends standing outside the wheel, looking up at me in worry. I looked back, watching as Elizabeth slowly raised her hand and pointed to her wrist again.

Looking down, I noticed the monitor on my wrist beeping again, and frowned at the timer. "Ten minutes." I took a deep breath and held it as my heart started to speed up.

"You need to stay calm." Rodney was the only one besides the girls, who was in the Ferris wheel with me. "And maybe stop thinking about my day dream. Ok, so my situation was better than yours, but you can work through this. You just need to find a way to make your remaining oxygen last longer. Oh, and don't forget, you should have five minutes extra in the safety backups."

"Two." Rika corrected him.

"Five." He shot back. "I'm a scientist, you'd think I'd know."

"Obviously you don't. It's two minutes."

Trying to keep my breathing slow, I was all too aware when it only served to make my heart pound faster. It felt like I was suffocating, because I was trying to breathe normally, even when my body was demanding more oxygen.

"Stay calm, John, we're on our way. Well, ok, not _us_, but the Daedalus will be here shortly. Just hang on."

"Stay calm!" Rika snapped her fingers. "That's probably what he was trying to say before."

"Well, _duh_." Rodney rolled his eyes at her. "It's kinda obvious. You panic, you use up more oxygen. To save oxygen, you have to stay calm and focused."

"Gee, you don't need to be mean."

"Maybe I wouldn't have to, if I wasn't dealing with an airhead."

I frowned as I listened to them argue, and slowly shook my head. I also saw Kendra shaking her head and caught her raising her eyebrow at me. 'Wake up' she mouthed before smiling and waving. Suddenly, I heard a beep and jumped, accidentally jolting and hitting my head. Spinning around, I blinked and instead of being on a Ferris wheel with two gorgeous, scantily clad women and an annoying Rodney McKay, I was once again floating out in space. I felt at my head and realized I must have hit my head on the back of my helmet, seeing as how there was nothing else around.

Checking my wrist monitor, I frowned. "Five minutes." Had five minutes even passed? My heart pounded, and I took a deep breath, feeling it catch in my throat as the monitor dropped down to four minutes. _Crap!_ My radio fuzzed, and I frowned, turning myself with some effort to face the planet Atlantis was on. Even in space, I could see the residual effects of an explosion, and I swallowed heavily, hoping everyone was alright.

Another beep, and I looked down, hitting a button on the monitor that would stop the warnings until I got to one minute. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, trying to get back into a meditative state. _Come on, guys. You're cutting it kinda close._

I don't know how long I floated there, struggling my hardest to keep my breathing even and slow. After a bit, I noticed it becoming harder to breathe, and frowned as my body slowly began to grow more sluggish. My eyelids felt heavy as I opened my eyes. There was a beep, and I knew I was down to my last minute of oxygen. I took a small breath, and it came out a gasp when there wasn't quite enough oxygen. My throat began to burn as I struggled to keep breathing. I knew I had a backup supply of air, but I had no way of knowing if it was two minutes or five, and if it would make much of a difference. I needed to hang on, but it was so difficult when all I wanted to do was sleep.

I could hear my breathing echo in the helmet, as it was the only real sound, and it was creepy hearing the gasping, choking breaths. My eyes got heavier, and I wondered if I hit the backup oxygen if I could get back into that meditative world. I checked the monitor and it read minus one minute. Ten minutes of oxygen at the time, and twenty until the Daedalus reached me, if I remembered right. I still had way over five minutes to wait.

My fingers itched to hit the backup button, so I could breathe, but the sooner I hit it, the sooner I used it up. It felt like I had too many options and not enough at the same time. My mind spun as I struggled to keep my eyes open.

"Stay calm." I heard Rodney's voice echo in my mind.

My heart was pounding and my chest felt tight when the oxygen ran out. The monitor now read minus one minute. How was I ever going to last?

I hit the backup button. I didn't want to, I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help myself. As the oxygen flowed into the helmet, I took deep gulping breaths, until I realized what I was doing. I immediately stopped and took another breath, holding it and struggling not to use up the last of my air immediately.

_Why hasn't Atlantis contacted me?_ I thought vaguely. They did before, but the connection cut off. What happened? "At…" I took a small breath, blinking and trying not to gasp. "Atlantis, do you… Do you read?" The only sound was my breathing, which had about evened out.

The monitor read four minutes.

"Atlantis?"

There was static in my ear, and I wondered if it was Atlantis trying to contact me. Hearing a male voice, it took a moment for the signal to clean up.

"Colonel Sheppard, do you read?"

"Caldwell?" Frowning for a moment, I recalled Rodney mentioning about twenty minutes. For once, I was very glad he was wrong. "Is that you?"

"We'll be there in two minutes. How much air do you have left?"

I checked the monitor and felt a little giddy. "Three minutes."

"Well, I'd say that's cutting it a little close. Rodney informed us we might not make it in time."

"Well, I thought the same way, Colonel. This is my backup oxygen supply." I grinned to myself, feeling a chuckle resonate through my chest. Talk about relief. "I'd say we're cutting it a little _too_ close."

"I thought backup tanks only had two minutes of oxygen in them…?"

"Yeah, me too. Go figure, huh? I'm not complaining."

"No, I bet you're not." Caldwell chuckled a little. "Hang on, we're about within reach."

"What happened with Atlantis? They had radio contact, but it just cut off shortly before an explosion."

"I'll explain when you're on board."

**(Bridge of the Daedalus)**

"So Atlantis is fine?"

Colonel Steven Caldwell nodded from his seat and looked out the screen. "The jumper was leaking a strange radiation due to the area of space the jumper was in before. The radiation stemmed from the meteor you dusted, and the piece that got jammed in the jumper. It didn't do much out in space, but when it entered the atmosphere of the planet, something in it caused a reaction that interfered with communications and a few other minor problems."

"What about the shields?"

"The held up fine. When the jumper exploded, it shook the city and weakened the shields in a few sections of the city, as it was predicted it would do so, but there were no major disturbances, and no lives lost."

Nodding a little, I looked around and took a deep breath. "Well, it's definitely nice to be on board a ship again. When do you think you'll have communications reestablished with Atlantis?"

Caldwell seemed to pause a moment and looked to a man seated at his right. They exchanged quiet words and Caldwell looked back. "A few more minutes. I'm guessing they're gonna be pretty relieved to hear you're fine."

"Yeah." I grinned dryly and thought about my little vision. "Well, I'm definitely in the mood for a vacation after this. You think Elizabeth'll approve?"

"I don't see why not."

Nodding again, I turned towards the main screen showing the planet we were orbiting, and I sighed. _Maybe I need to take those girls out on a _real_ Ferris wheel._

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

Not so whumpy, but not a good day for John.

Written October 24, 2008

R+R please.

Thank you

Tenshi


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